Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 305: Extreme Makeover: Democracy Edition

Episode Date: August 24, 2023

This week the Washington Post gives us a lesson in democracy, and then we check the various reactions to the GOP debate from the good folks over at the Richard Nixon Presidential Library Support us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/trillbillyworkersparty

I'm glad y'all decided to join me today because right now I'm fixing democracy in the op-ed section of the Washington Post. There's an op-ed in there, the title of which is, Is Fixing Democracy Partisan? Here are our answers to this and more questions. So it's got some like you know some some headers here why constitutional democracy human beings thrive when they can steer their own lives blah blah blah why shouldn't we just chuck ours out and start over the democracy is a technology for collective human decision making you know there's a bunch of like ngo language here what is democracy renovation democracy renovation is made up of two things a reconnecting people to

civic service civic collaboration civic engagement and their civic power and civic responsibility too many civics bro uh we get it i also just say too i like like this uh this term democracy renovation like it's like it's like a physical thing that you're renovating like your house just needs a facelift democracy needs a little little touching up just yeah reupholster that shit um be reforming our political institutions and civic infrastructure so that people have the tools they need to be responsible and effective citizens i love i do this is one of my favorite shit like being a responsible and effective citizen. What does that mean?

Dude, I'm into anarchy, bro. I'm the opposite of responsible and effective citizen, bro. I don't vote. Yeah, I don't vote, bro. So, what's the argument that they're making is, in essence, that democracy's broke, and the only way to fix it is to not do democracy anymore? We need more democracy. Wrong.

Okay. Wrong answer. What are the most important strategies for reconnecting people to their civic power okay i know aaron called me last night at like three in the morning and asked this question so i'm glad you i did it's like i got he said he said tance i've been reading the writings of cincinnatus and uh montesquieu and so forth i have some questions about the future of our democracy to which you said i said broadly forums for deliberation civic education organizing experiences and pathways of participation in the many available civic roles are all important

strategies for reconnecting people to their civic power those roles include voting running for LTEs, baby. LTEs. Dude, have you ever written an LTE? Have either of you guys ever written an LTEs Dude have you ever written an LTE Have either of you guys Ever written an LTE I have You've even ghost written several Yeah

For a little while there I was the town LTE ghost writer People would come to me They would step into my office and we would barter some goods. We would exchange some goods.

In return, I would ghostwrite LTEs for people. You'd go smoke a cigarette out under a blinking neon sign. There you are. Let's say to you terence i have something a civic matter that just won't won't allow me to eat or sleep there's only one way to get something done about this and that's writing a letter to the editor problem is i have a sixth

grade education can you help me can you help me with that University of Texas education to express myself in the paper of record? Yeah. The Whitesburg Mountain Eagle. Yeah. This also includes participating in nonviolent demonstrations and protests and in civil society organizations with advocacy and civic missions. Make sure they're nonviolent. Yeah, this is like really, this is like pretty boring stuff but you know i'm just i'm just going through the process here because there's a form

that you can fill out later on down so um so you know then it asked what are the most important strategies for renovating our political institutions and civic infrastructure and she writes some of these i've already written about some will be explored in columns to come okay uh but not give not giving us a lot of meat there this week yeah uh and then you know she's got like a hypothetical like this all sounds like hard work why should i make the effort she writes because it feels good civic engagement and empowerment are good for mental health really i would say that it's been detrimental i would actually say it's i would actually say it's been deleterious

i would say participate in anything political civic uh, rots one's brain from the inside out. I was just thinking about this, just not even a few hours ago, how much happier I was before I waded in the waters of public discourse. Of civic responsibility and engagement? Right. Before you civically engaged? Think twice before you civically engage. That's the takeaway here My parents Early on in life

They said Terrence there's two things you need to know about First is how sex is made And then they Did it in front of me To show me And then They brought in a voting booth you know, did it in front of me to show me. They copulated in front of you. Oh, God.

And then they brought in a voting booth. And then immediately after. And then they voted. Post coitus. They said, son, now you're ready to take on the world. Now you're a man. Yeah. Now you have the tools that you need to make it in this world yes and now i i ever since then i have associated voting with extreme trauma and i've not been able

to get over it yeah that's why you don't vote and that's why i don't and then and then it's oh wait so i forgot there's one more thing And then he just beat the hell out of you. That's the third thing you need to know is that the world will kick you down. Particularly if you're a voter. This says, okay, so we need both protection and renovation, and pitching in might make me even feel better, but how do I decide how and what to do? Think of your engagement with our democracy as a civic portfolio. Every single one of us should have one of these this involves choosing how we allocate our time talent or treasure to civic

pursuits maybe you decide to allocate maybe you decide to allocate zero hours or zero dollars that's fine so long as it's an active choice if you do choose to allocate time talent and measure to a treasure to a civic portfolio you have to decide how much of each you can contribute and then you have to decide how to spread your contributions across a portfolio of democracy protection democracy renovation and partisan electoral work why does it sound like a company that's trying to sell you democracy like insured democracy you need protection for democracy i don't't like... Protect your democracy, sir. Is this the Chevy Chase Inn? I think I left my Civic portfolio there last night. Is it?

Oh, it's behind the bar? Okay, I'll be in this afternoon to pick it up. Yeah, thanks, man. Yeah, I'm sorry. I meant to close my tab out, but... Taking a look at your Civic CV, seeing as you voted for Ralph Nader. I'm sorry sir that you're what what would if listen on the great judgment day when god pulls out your

civic portfolio it's a curveball the whole purpose to life the reason everybody's so gung-ho by is how you get into heaven yeah and god says terence I see you had a pretty solid record up until the election of Donald J. Trump. You sat that one out at a pivotal moment. What do you have to say for yourself? Our democracy was at stake. And you just pissed your vote away on whoever you vote for. vote away on uh whoever you vote i guess what is that thing that like non-profit nerds and um geo tv people use to to see how you voted in the past what is it um i used to use that shit yeah same here man you know what i'm talking about though right i know what you're talking about

because i used to use it when i used to the states, like Secretary of State, and then they'd show you. They don't show you how you voted, but they showed you that you did vote. That you did vote. Well, it kind of did show. They have little Ps. It kind of did show how you voted in the sense that it would try to project how you would vote in the future based on how you voted in the past, but I don't think it showed the individual votes you made. Yeah.

In a way. It would have been hard to track mine because I refuse to vote unless I can just cast a black marble in a wooden box. That's no paper trail for my vote. is that the kind of renovation she's talking about because like i always thought it was pretty tight after the arab spring that when they voted they'd like dip their fingers in ink yeah yeah wait that's that's how we need to breathe some life into this democracy is bring back cool ways of voting yeah i'm just bring okay election day i wake up at 5

a.m to go open the polls i go out to the drilling rig i say boys fill me up a barrel of oil barrel a barrel of your best crude and they this is boat this is this is voting oil, boys. Only your finest for democracy. Then I wheel it back to the voting polls. And then what you do is we just pop the top off and you stick your little finger in there and then that's how you vote. You vote with crude oil. Have you guys ever read The Lottery by Shirley Jackson?

Where everybody picks their names out of a box and then they get stoned at the end? yeah have you guys ever read uh the lottery by shirley jackson you know where everybody uh picks their names out of out of a box and then to get stoned at the end whoever whoever picked last get stoned or some shit like that that's why we need to do it man damn or like if i mean there might be some public health concerns here but what if we took a blood oath at polls i believe so strongly in ralph nader i'm gonna i'm gonna punch one in the blood you know just like a little pinprick yeah um that she writes uh i apportion a good deal of my nights and weekends as well as 20 of my work week to civic pursuits in addition 20 what the fuck This person is psychotic, Caleb. In addition,

my professional area of focus is democracy renovation. I'm fortunate that I can do basic research and teaching on this subject as my job. As a result, I'll admit, democracy work takes up nearly all my time beyond sleeping, eating, exercising, walking the dog. I thought it was only 20%.

I thought it was only 8 hours of work. What the fuck is democracy work? So there's somebody out there, which you're telling me, what I'm hearing is there's somebody out there that, actually I know exactly who this person is. This is one of those people that were harassing me to vote for Amy McGrath via postcard.

But there's somebody out there that is so consumed with the idea of our democracy being threatened that they're using their one go-through in this short finite existence to do everything in their power to ensure that the fundamentals of our democracy are sound yeah that is so sad man oh. Oh, God, yeah. Well, this is like, this is like that New York Times article I remember seeing

like maybe a year ago. It was, the headline is voters see democracy in peril, but saving it isn't a priority. The opening paragraph is voters overwhelmingly believe American democracy is under threat but seem remarkably apathetic about that danger so americans saw the czech engine light and just

kept driving that shit i've been there brother yeah i know that it's just a suggestion that's one of those headlines that's stuck in my head forever. I just think about it and smile sometimes. Just that the majority of Americans are like, oh, shit, man. This is kind of bad. There's smoke coming up from under the engine hood. And they're just like, I'm just going to ignore it. I can't do nothing about it.

Maybe take it to the shop next week when I get paid. Go put a little piece of tape over that check-in. Out of sight, out of mind. Oh, man. Oh, that is funny. So, but wait, back to this, back to this. Many would say I have over-allocated to civic life. This writer, her name is Danielle Allen.

I don't know if I mentioned that. Danielle, all the respect in the world, but I'm many here. Yeah. I think you have, you need to go have some fun this weekend. She said, I am sure they are right. I wish our current politics

didn't make me feel this necessary, but to me it does, urgently so. Most people aren't in a position to dedicate that large portion of their lives to their own civic portfolio but i believe nearly everyone can find some way to engage in this work and cross my across my civic portfolio i allocate 25 to democracy protection five percent of partisan work and 70 to democracy renovation so my civic portfolio looks like this i What the fuck? I'm just imagining her with a tool belt walking into a house like,

oh, your roof. It looks like your democracy needs a new roof. People who aren't just like outright like socialists, because like to me, like this is going to sound canned and corny but it is kind of pretty much true i think this is basically like kind of what marx and engels were getting at in the communist manifesto they're like pure democracy is basically communism so it's like i don't understand like how people can be this into quote-unquote democracy but they they they just are ostensibly like bog standard like liberals or

concerned aren't obviously yeah it's like they've pledged allegiance to the most undemocratic institutions and undemocratic legislatures and undemocratic parties and everything and yet they say the thing that they're spending all of their time on or at least 20 of their time on during the work week is in service to what exactly well think about it is fascinating it's like democracy as uh managed by capitalism or capitalism managed by. I don't know which one you would say manages which. Insofar as there even is democracy, like the version that we have is so grotesque and deformed. And it's so obviously so because of what's going on in political economy. But like how, like when you say democracy renovation, like, what are you getting at?

Like, how? What is your end goal? Like, what do you imagine happening? You know what I mean? Do you imagine that there are going to be, like, community organizations in every community where everyone is, like, like, I don't, I mean, I'm not being even, like, kind of, like, you know, like, trying to be funny about it. Because I guess, like, as a socialist, like, I would a socialist, I would like people to be more engaged in their communities. But when she talks about this portfolio and this CV, it's like checking off a box and kind of siloing whatever democracy means to her to just saying, as long as you check these things off your list, you've done your job. You've put in work into democracy.

It's like, that's not really how this shit works, though. I think you guys have been short-sighted about this. I've got a plan. And really, this is how we can put our shovel in. Did you ever watch that show, Extreme Makeover Home Edition? Yes. Yeah. At the doctor's office while I'm waiting.

Yeah, at the doctor's office while I'm waiting for you. It's going to be us and a bunch of people in a big bus. We're going to have a bus. It's going to say Extreme Makeover Democracy Edition. It's going to be us and some of our cohorts, and we're going to pull up to polling places. I want to say, listen, we're here to renovate your democracy, if you'll let us and and there'll just be some old one been like god bless you honey like our machines they won't even help us you know we're still doing paper ballots we're counting this but instead of actually doing

anything to affect the change at the ballot box we just sort of like change the ballot measures so we go with the oil drum thing terrence was talking about maybe that plays in texas maybe we do blood oaths in iowa right i mean maybe we do you know casting the the marble in the little wooden box or you know just depends we just play it by ear at every site but i kind of like the idea of like you get a paper ballot and a cheeseburger and you get the grease all and some french fries you get the grease all over your hands and that's how you vote with the box you put a little grease like a mcdonald's bag those splotches of grease on it i like home i like makeover uh what was it home makeover democracy edition is that what it's called yeah i like the

idea like i walk into your house and i got a utility belt and a hard hat on and i hold like a little instrument up to your walls and i say and i knock like you know like oh like here it's like you're checking for radon but actually you're checking for democracy well i'm checking and i oh here's your problem and i cut open the wall, and, like, three, like, Nazis fall out. They're right. You put up an American flag, like, over the fence. Here's your problem right here. You're all ate the fuck up with Nazis.

You got to get them out of here. You got Nazis all crawling in these walls. And then it's like, but the music goes from uplifting to kind of ominous, and you look at the family. You know what this means, don't you? Well, listen, we didn't know they were there. Of course you didn't know. That's the nature of these.

They're insidious. I'm going to have to burn down the whole house now with every one of these. Unfortunately. Unfortunately, there's only one saw for this. We have to burn your entire house down with everyone unfortunately unfortunately there's only one saw for this that's we have to burn your entire house down are you gonna build me a new one no no no that's extreme makeover home edition we're extreme makeover democracy edition and then and then the homeowners like but you don't understand like we when we moved in like the previous owners they they invited them in to see that there was this

thing called paperclip operation paper they invited the nazis in and that's they let them come we didn't do we didn't invite them in they were here when we got here ma'am we found the clan robes and mothballs upstairs ma'am i want to take your word on that but if you would I need to take a look at your democracy portfolio I left it at the office ma'am hand it over you don't understand

I can get it Monday for you ma'am I'm sorry democracy can't wait I want to take your story on faith for you. Ma'am, I'm sorry. Democracy can't wait. I want to take your story on faith, but I got to see how you voted in the last three primaries. Oh, see, right here. See, I'm seeing a lot of... Ma'am, right here, none of this makes any sense.

You voted Jill Stein in 2016, Mitt Romney in 2012, and Dennis Kucinich in 2008 none of this makes any sense man you see fellas listen i was just trying to throw some some paint at the canvas and see if we got a picture you know uh-huh ma'am uh your sentence to listen to oliver anthony he he he too is a it's just a patchwork quilt of american opinion i love i love that this week there is a clip of him saying that like we're diversity is good and we're a melting pot and the right-wingers were pissed because he did not endorse white ethnostate yeah they called him a sellout was he the first reverse milkshake duck

i mean well that's the thing like people were like uh yeah people were calling him like a sellout and it's like no this man was just obviously right like he obviously went to public schools you know what i mean it's like he hates poor people he thinks we're a diverse but he just obviously went to public school listen i'll tell you if uh if under a hot lamp if you asked him what he really believed in i'm gonna tell you what he would say he would say this because every guy like this says this what we need to teach people in schools how to balance a checkbook and uh do their taxes he's like the practical skills guy yeah that's like you know under scrutiny you know that's exactly what he believes in what do they call that financial literacy literacy financial literacy

and and he's gonna follow that up with saying i don't understand what happened to trade schools right used to be you'd learn a trade which is kind of one of those things i agree with a little bit i believe in a liberal arts education but i believe that you need a liberal arts education and a trade yeah you gotta do both man oh oh man ma'am i'm gonna need to see your civic portfolio ma'am yeah yeah ma'am you're not gonna get that have you that you you can't vote you can't buy groceries at this kroroger Until I see your civic portfolio Just like making everybody show that

Like their documents Like they're on immigration documents Or anything like that It's an entirely civic portfolio Before you get a democracy loan Yeah democracy I need a loan of democracy please Yeah

I need some democracy offsets Oh so no Your neighbor voted in every election so you can actually borrow some of his credits he passed it he has no Nazis in his wall he passed the inspection clean as day he's got a few to spare

he votes in elections he can't even vote in he votes in elections he can't even vote in. He votes in other countries. He voted in Georgia. He doesn't even live in Georgia. He submits absentee votes to Argentina. Manchester and the UK.

This man is casting me provisional ballots. It's insane. He's a cosmopolitan voter, is what we call him. She writes... If you can't afford the democracy, you can put it on layaway. We have installment plans. Put your democracy on Klarna. But, in the meantime, for every year you don't pay it back, we will throw one of your loved ones out of a helicopter.

Yeah, Columbia neckties for all your closest kin. She writes, selfishly for the sake of my own health and longevity, I am grateful every time I see another person pitch in on democracy renovation. democracy renovation it's very clear that more of us that the more of us there are doing this work the sooner we will get to a place where we can take a collective breath and have confidence in the health of our constitutional democracy this reads like something from a fucking cult dog it reads like it reads like we're either all plowing the fields or picking up trash from the beach you know what i mean like we're all picking up trash with those little pizza poker these you know you know how on all those home renovation shows that like the uh it always hits a crescendo with like a problem they run into they don't know how they're gonna solve i call you two to the basement and i'm sitting there with my utility belt in my hard hat and I said, god damn it, boys.

Brings me no pleasure to have to tell you that on this shelf sits Bill O'Reilly's Killing Lincoln and Robert Carroll's books on LBJ. Terrence just sighs. He says, we got somebody else in with the public school. Dude, you know, if if you're gonna have those you need a wild card like you need ron paul like rediscovering liberty

or some shit like that i don't even know if that's one of his books yeah no we could have a basement and it's just every like sort of failed politicians like uh cash grab uh like memoirs political thriller oh yeah memoir dreams for yeah, memoirs. Dreams for My Father. Yeah. That other one that he wrote a couple years ago. Yeah. And since that's the best available form of government to support human thriving, how can we not do what we can to deliver yet another new birth of freedom

and ensure that constitutional democracy shall not perish from the earth. I will say that she's not respecting bartering enough, man. Bartering and trading as a system of governance. Yeah, someone's never heard of

my favorite form of political governance in human history like in ancient Israel when they had like 12 judges and that was just the whole set yeah the sanhedrin council sanhedrin council he didn't bring that back we need to bring back yeah uh the pharisees and the doctors of the law interpreting arbitrating everything that happens sanhedrin donkey falls in a hole we gotta go to the high priest and see what they say about that. Dude, Sanhedrin

council heads are seething. We're seething right now. They've been quite, they're the real silent majority. That's true. That is true. Dude, um, this article then has a large

well, I wouldn't say it's large but it's um it's like a a form you can fill out it says democracy form a democracy form it says how will you help renovate our democracy use this form to record how you want to allocate your time talent and treasure to your civic portfolio think of it both aspirationally and realistically what do you aspire to do that you also can see fitting realistically within the constraints of your other goals and responsibilities do y'all let's let's answer this just reminds me of when you were a kid you know and like you got like those forms like to that what were they were they were like um like you get like a book on like i don't know nutrition you know or something like that for kids or some shit

and have like a form of like oh this is what are you sure you're eating this much this many fruits or drinking this much water doing this i had the same thing but it was magic johnson's aids book yeah i would tell you something 38 i've i felt misery i didn't i didn't fall the steps too often wait so it's like the book about like how many aids you have or like how it's it's a book about how you avoid contracting you know it was just like it was like kind of a memoir child appropriate though is it like a. Is it like a choose your own adventure? Choose your own AIDS adventure book?

In that same book he did because it's geared towards middle schoolers but in that same book he does say that he had sex with seven women in an elevator once. At what time? Just like a book. Can you imagine the poor bellhop on every floor that's like,

oh, it's just magic sucking and fucking again. You just see that shit going up and down and up and down, but not opening. Every time it stops, somebody just hits that button. I like a choose your own adventure of various magic johnson sexual trysts what um okay let's fill out this form it requires your email um Tom Sexton likes men. Gmail.com. Okay. What democracy issue matters to you the most?

Please identify it with just a few words. So what democracy issue matters to you guys the most? Like, do you have a big one? Because, like, to me that's a broad question like there's so many different democracy issues um that you to choose from you know and this is a required question by the way like you know those forms like if you don't fill it out you can't you can't submit the form this is a required you can't see the doctor you can't get the you can't see the dot you can't see the doctor. You can't see the democracy doctor unless you answer what issue matters to you the most. I guess the first thing that comes to mind is people voting against their own interests. People not voting, that's an easy fix.

We just have to come up with inventive ways to cast a ballot that seem fun. Like, you know, sometimes they can shoot the ballot. You know what I mean? Yeah. You get a gun, you shoot your vote they could shoot the ballot. You know what I mean? Yeah. You get a gun, you shoot your vote in. That would be a good way to do it. Yeah, if the Democrats really want to turn the tide, they said, listen, mandatory voting,

but you have to bring your own weapon and shoot your vote in. But what I'm talking about is is people that uh mostly poor people that don't understand that the democrats have provided a lot of services for them uh-huh and yet they vote against them anyway in my opinion this is the thing that's most threatening the principles of our democracy yeah that's a big one i should put that i'm gonna write that one down we don't have to submit it but it's just one answer people voting against their own interests okay people voting against their own interest what else is there there's um

so there is also ageism against the sitting president yep ageism yep ageism against the sitting president white birth rates that's concerning that is very concerning

quite concerning that's the top of my list that was the other reason Aaron was up at 3am That's concerning. That is very concerning. Quite concerning. That's the top of my list. That was the other reason Aaron was up at 3 a.m. worried about white birthrights. Fair skins are lost in white. Ska music. I'm going to put ska music on there. That's a pretty big democracy issue ska music um any others uh let's i mean i have people voting against their own interest

ageism against the sitting president white birth rates ska music anything else i should add that that we jest but that is actually probably like the median americans like concerns yeah that's the median voter i'm melting melting pot too hot melting pot too hot too hot. Melting pot too hot. Too hot, too cold. I'd throw out there the gay agenda. The gay agenda. The gay agenda. Damn, that's some good stuff on there. People voting against their interest,

ageism against the sitting president, white birth rates, ska music, melting pot too hot, the gay agenda. The melting pot, the the gay agenda the melting pot the fondue of the melting pot burnt the roof of our mouths it was boiling dip your finger in that shit man you can take a little taste let's see here like any other i mean there's the deficit did i already mention the deficit i won't write that one down Just because personally

I don't think the deficit's big enough I've thought that for years We need a big ass deficit We need a limitless debt ceiling The limitless debt ceiling And the big ass deficit There's not enough big ass There's a deficit

The limitless debt ceiling and the big ass deficit. That's good stuff on there, too. I'd be remiss if I didn't bring up going back to the gold standard. Gold standard. Yes. I honestly, I am worried about the debasing of the coinage. I'm worried about people melting down the coinage and adding debased metals into the coinage.

So how do you phrase that? Debasing? Impure, impure. I think if you just put debased coinage, most Americans would know what you're talking about, David. You're right. It's at the forefront of most people's minds. Greenback dollars.

Too many greenback dollars in circulation. Yeah. Let's see. The IRS. Something about the IRS? Yeah, there's something about the IRS there. They got my man Wesley Snipes.

IRS going after Wesley Snipes. Wesley Snipes is a top issue. Actually, we demand the IRS issue an apology to Wesley Snipes. IRS issue an apology to Wesley Snipes? That would be the thing. You know when a president gets elected, they do their first 100 days. Yeah, yeah.

My thing would be we would issue, in the first 100 days, we're going to issue apologies to Wesley Snipes, Willie Nelson, any celebrity tax cheats 100%. We're going to refund the money that they spend in restitution too. Exactly. Let's see here. What about

tariffs? Any thoughts on tariffs? Are they too high or too low? That depends what kind of tariffs. Yeah, what are we talking about? I have varying opinions wheat tariffs too low gold tariffs too high wheat cigarette tariff too high yeah the what tariff tariff the cigarette tariff cigarette tariff too high here's what i would do day day first hundred days of my administration i gather everybody in the town

squares across america and i'd say i'm gonna read off every kind of tariff there is and you tell me if we need to raise or lower okay it's a good idea i have it you know uh-huh that's a good idea that's called participatory governance what about public health Anything in the public health realm Nah nothing comes to mind Okay alright we'll skip Kind of Kind of Mums the word on that one And then let's see

We've got our policy towards The former Yugoslavia let's see what well that's that's we'll say reunite yugoslavia yugoslavia yugoslavia there you go all right we have okay what do you reunite the dakotas too i would say and the dakotas okay yeah we have that's my main issue people voting against their own interests ageism against the sitting president white birth rates ska music melting pot too hot the gay agenda the limitless debt ceiling and the big ass deficit gold standard debased coinage too many greenback dollars in circulation

iris issue an apology to Wesley Snipes and other celebrity sex cheats weed tariffs too low, cigarette tariffs too high reunite Yugoslavia and the Dakotas the thing is though like if you went and you polled

a good cross section of America like what is on their mind when they lay their head down and sleep at night would not be any a good cross section of America, like they're what they're, what is on their mind when they lay their head down and sleep at that would not be any less nutty than this. No, exactly. I'm pretty sure at least three of those would be checked off.

I love Tom. You nailed it. You said that Aaron Anthony Oliver is basically like a kin bone type, like guys that are just, you know, like they exist to be, or Joe the plumber, they exist to be persuaded one way or the other. Like they're not really like, they don't have any real convictions or anything. They're just kind of goofy guys that can be won over.

Like a reed swaying in the wind, man. Yeah. Next question. This is Like a reed swaying in the wind, man. Yeah. Next question. This is also a required question. Why do these issues matter to you? Why do they matter? This is a harder question. Why do they matter?

I can only speak for the Ska community when I say that they've been waiting for that messianic fifth wave to come. There's nobody picking up the mantle for it. I'd say Messianic figure of Ska fifth wave has not materialized, is still occluded along with the Mahdi. Okay. Is still occluded. Okay. All right. Securing right securing okay next question securing a super majority for democracy requires advancing democracy protection driving democracy renovation and

doing pro-democracy work inside one's parties which of these activities do you plan to participate in all right you can choose as many as you like but here here are the here are the choices one advancing democracy protection two driving democracy renovation three doing car and a hard hat you want to get a truck to drive the democracy renovation like a flatbed it's like it's like that trump quote where he's like i had a good life i had a good life i wish i could just drive away from here. Wish you could just drive away in a democracy truck. I had a good life.

I had a good life. When a man starts saying things like that before he's actually went on. Dire straits. So what is it? I mean, you could also choose none or you can choose other and you can fill that in which one gives me a hard hat i think you tell in the tool belt well there's pro-democracy work work seems to imply a hard hat and a tool belt but like driving democracy renovation it seems kind of fun but then there's advancing democracy protection well i've been in

two car accidents so i don't think I should be driving anything. Yeah, you shouldn't be. Aaron, you should not be driving anything. I'm not going to be driving the democracy. Aaron's on his third set of lungs in his fifth car. I mean, like I said, you can choose other or none.

Can I choose none? Okay, Aaron, you're going to or none. Can I choose none? Okay, Aaron, you're going to choose none. Tom? What do you want? Do you want to advance? Pick one for me. I'm apathetic. I'll advance democracy protection because it seems like

it makes us sound like a couple of thugs. You know what I mean? We're muscle for democracy. We're muscle for democracy. We're muscle for democracy. Goons for democracy. Now, share which of these activities is your top priority. What the fuck? It's the same ones.

I guess we'll say advancing democracy protection there, too. Now assess how much time you can contribute to your democracy work. Reflect on your other personal and professional goals as you make this assessment. Now assess how much time you can contribute to your democracy work. Reflect on your other personal and professional goals as you make this assessment. I am probably literally the only person who has filled this out. Like every other, not even the nerdiest losers who read the Washington Post have filled this out. This is from the Washington Post. So how many hours, how much time can you contribute?

One to three hours a week? Three to ten? Ten to twenty? Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop for a second. I just realized what's going on here. This is an audit. It's a democracy audit. This is a damn democracy audit.

From the good folks that brought you privilege audits. Let's say I think we should keep it reasonable. Let's not overextend ourselves. Let's say 10 to 20 hours a week. I was going to say 10 to 20 minutes in intervals a day.

Like every other day. Okay. Now, let's determine allocations across the buckets of democracy protection, democracy renovation. The buckets of democracy. Are they named? Do they have stickers on them? Are they colored buckets?

Are they like sand buckets making sand castles and shit? Are we making a democracy castle? What's going on here, man? What is this, dude? What percentage of your civic portfolio do you wish to give to each? Okay. Democracy protection. How much do y'all want to give that? 0%? 1-10%?

11-25%? 26-50%? Or more than 50%? Are we budgeting here? We're budgeting. Nah, just off the... I really can't at this time. i'm probably 10 maxing out at 10 okay what about i can't i can't commit to more than 10 what about democracy renovation though now that's my passion so i probably i'm probably gonna go a little more i probably 50 allocation on that one okay well all right and then you got

partisan work that's pretty i mean if it required if we're talking about bipartisan work do you mean storming the capital then january 6th fits neatly under that that's civic engagement and honestly engagement i mean that takes up at least that took up i mean some people are doing 10 to 20 for that so you could say that that they live that shit 24 hours a day you file terrorist acts underneath that insurgency like just like a member of ISIS filling this out Like I'm very civically engaged Oh we civically engaged them alright

Please share what skills you have That you are especially proud of And that you hope to put to use On behalf of democracy Skills skills skills, skills. Like building bombs, flying aircraft. Hijacking. Dreamed of flying planes

since I was a little boy. Hijacking airplanes. Wielding a box cutter as a weapon. Overthrowing foreign governments. Yeah, getting that coup. Coup. Assassinating democratically elected leader

alright put a guitar piano wire around political enemies necks yeah political assassinations man man yeah political assassinations man man

yes psyoping the youth movement of a eastern european culture you're trying to foam into color revolution in funneling crack cocaine to black communities funneling crack cocaine into black communities destabilizing the medina yeah selling illegal arms to the contras funneling crack cocaine into black communities destabilizing yeah

selling illegal arms to the Contras plandemics yeah gain of function research yeah gain of function research research in shoddily outfitted labs

oh fucking A Shoddily outfitted labs. Oh, fucking A. Creating super soldiers in the laboratory. Interior decoration of the FEMA camps. And then after all that, I'm going to say, type 75 words a minute functional knowledge of the google work suite

yeah can do make work job I'm really I'm a self starter with experience assassinating democratically elected leaders. Oh, fuck. Okay, well, all right.

Those are all great answers. Thanks for taking this survey about the cause of democracy. This form will be emailed to you, and you can refer back to it to measure your own progress and track how your commitments evolve over time. I hope you guys are proud of yourself. Take a second to applaud yourself. Pat yourself on the back.

No, there's no time for that. Not why I do it. Saving democracy is my reward. do it not to my saving democracy is my reward oh shit dude okay uh well that took about an hour so well we allocated eight hours so seven more and we're we're there that's true that's true um honestly i got an update real quick guys just breaking news trump tweeted on truth social arrest time 7 30 p.m tonight arrest time arrest time did he put it in all caps yes oh yeah he did oh yeah so wait so you like so is he he's turning himself in at 7 30 this evening he is well in the post he slammed

he slams uh georgia election case and says arrest time will be 7.30pm the post just said arrest time 7.30pm he also wrote 231 million views and still counting the biggest video on social media ever more than double the Superbowl but please excuse me

I have to start getting ready to head down to Atlanta, Georgia, where murder and other violent crimes have reached levels never seen before, to get arrested by the radical left low-life district attorney, Fannie Willis, for a perfect phone call. And having the audacity to challenge a rigged and stolen election. The evidence is irrefutable. Arrest time, 7.30 p.m. Having the unaccinated challenge. A rigged and stolen election. The evidence is irrefutable. Arrest time, 7.30pm.

That's an all-timer. I love that he threw in where there's rampant crime and murder in Atlanta. He always has to throw in digs at cities, man. I love it. He says that he's basically been arrested for executing a perfect phone call that's that's that's the update on trump watch sorry oh man i i did a i just saw an article in the new york times like all the focus last night because last night there was the first debate for the gop primary

all the focus was about like oh trump wasn't there oh who won oh who said this and who said that don't care what i really care about is the debate watch party at the richard nixon presidential library that occurred last night who I hope it was in attendance. Judging from the people interviewed in this story, judging from the people interviewed in this story and the photos, I don't think there was anyone here under the age of 70. Okay, so this was the Republicans who gathered at the Richard Nixon presidential library to watch their party's presidential primary debate weren't exactly spoiling for a fight, but they did want to see some policy disputes aired. They wanted some sign that maybe, just maybe, their party might move beyond former Donald Trump. Some said they got what they were looking for.

They were almost all impressive. Rocky Brister, 62, said on Wednesday night, standing over his... What's his name? Rocky... Rocky... Rocky... RockyBristor... RockyBristor...

What the fuck is this? An Archie Comics fucking... Is that... Is that Jellicade's real name? It's like a Superman supporting character or some shit, dude. Oh, man. Yeah, RockyBristor sounds like a senator Superman supporting characters Oh man Rocky Brewster sounds like a senator From the Superman comics

That he has to say Sounds like a senator from Montana Or some shit like that bro Oh yeah Rocky Brewster standing over his empty wine glasses After watching the debate From a replica of the White House's East Room. Vivek did great.

Boy, were they after him, said his wife of Vivek Ramaswamy, the biotech entrepreneur who was a dominant force on the stage in Milwaukee. She said she hoped to see a Trump-Ramaswamy ticket. Indeed, it was not. That's really fun to say. It's really fun to say. I'm not going to lie. Indeed, it was not that the roughly 200 Republicans who watched the debate from the shrine to the 37th president did not support the 45th. People in the crowd frequently referred to Mr. Trump as one of the greatest presidents of all time. But many worried that his bombastic approach in criminal indictments had started to eclipse the policies he supported. By the way, this is...

What policies? By the way, these people are at the Richard Nixon Presidential Library, and they're concerned about the criminal indictments. That's too good. In a way, they were pining for the Republican Party of the past, eager to hear about fiscal conservatism, foreign policy, and immigration. But from a candidate who could convincingly explain how to propel them into the future.

I want to hear a vision, what they're going to do to stop the country from going off the rails, said Chuck Patton, 62, a retired sheriff's deputy, who came to the debate watch party with a group of neighbors, all lifetime California Republicans. When we saw this Democratic president come in, we were angry, we were scared, but at this point, we're just going to let the Democratic cities just wallow in their misery. When Joe Biden assumed power, we were angry, we were scared. If somebody who's more or less been friendly to us In conciliatory for the last 40 years Took office Yeah we felt betrayed

Lost Pissing our pants Yeah Did I call my mother and visit her in the nursing home And cry into her bosom Because I was so scared Did she have to come did she have to comfort me as if i was a little boy again i said the radical marxist joe biden has assumed power

let me have let me borrow that bosom for about 12 minutes death of democracy um depending on the view the nixon library is either a bizarre a bizarre or an ideal place to take in a gop debate a site dedicated to a republican president who resigned in disgrace broadcasting a showcase of candidates hoping to defeat a twice impeached republican former president who is facing four criminal indictments mr trump's lead in the primary is so solid he did not feel compelled to participate why should he miss brewster asked anything he said would be used against him orange county i love his orange county like like nazi central really

like yeah truly truly um uh mr patton started the night convinced that one of the candidates could find a way to break free from the ever-present shadow of mr trump and left certain that many of them had there was deep enthusiasm in the room for desantis and ramaswamy even among voters deep enthusiasm among like octogenarians. Okay. This is amazing. Even among voters who could not pronounce their names. Listen to this quote. Ron DeSantos. The little chubby gay guy. We love him.

Ramosuantos. Hey, now, I love that. Vivin Ramosuantos. Ramosuantos. Listen to this quote. Hey, now, I love that Vivian Ramaswanto show up there. Ramaswanto. Listen to this quote. This guy, the retired sheriff's deputy, said, He said,

I'm an old guy, and I still like the young guys who are going out there hot. That's so gay code, bro. it slip, aren't they? I just love them when they're lathered up in crude oil. I love our beautiful boys going out there and trying to make a difference. Marla Robinson, a 62-year-old lawyer, every person that's been interviewed so far

is 62. Exactly 62 years up. Had hardly given a thought to former Governor Nikki Haley of South Carolina, but was wowed by her performance, choking up as she described how inspired she felt by seeing a woman aggressively argue with a stage full of men. Mr. Brewster and Mr. Patton leaped to hoot and holler after Mr. Ramaswamy attacked former Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey by saying Chris Christie's campaign was based on vengeance and grievance against one man. The moderators are just trying to make him and Pence revel of it, Mr. Brewster said, but it's not going to happen. Not a chance.

but it's not going to happen not a chance uh still several republicans said they were eager to see the party move on in part because they feared the consequences of mr trump is re-elected he is just too divisive there are just too many people on the left who hate that man said dan stowe 65 another 60 the people we support him it's all the people on the left that hate him that's why he's not viable uh there is going to be too much turmoil and civil unrest if he is in office again he added that's a like that's interesting like the antifa is going to burn down the cities if he gets elected again um Just before the debate began, the crowd sang happy birthday to former Governor Pete Wilson of California who ran for president

himself and was on hand to offer his post-debate analysis. Who the fuck is that? He's the goddamn tambourine player for the Beach Boys. Is he like the lost Wilson brother? Yeah. Yeah. No, he's 90 years old now i think he was governor in the early 90s maybe uh i just i just recognized the name from golden gulag because he kind of like oversaw

mass incarceration and like the hardening of the border oh i do yeah yeah yeah i recognize that name from the larry sanders show then re-watching the larry sanders show and there's you know some dated jokes in there and yeah he's subject to one idea mr wilson who is widely blamed for a generational collapse of the state's Republican Party after he supported an anti-immigrant ballot measure in the 90s, offered a more pessimistic assessment of the night. Debates within your own party benefit the other side, he said, adding that he was eager for visions about bringing us back to the kind of America that we grew up in. At least I grew up in, but hell, I am the oldest one here. of america that he that we grew up in at least i grew up in but hell i am the oldest one here he tried to i don't think i want to go back to the america that you grew up in dog especially the black person i think i'm good on that shit i'm good on jim crow brother um he tried to pull

the crowd by asking them to applaud for the candidate they thought had won they offered polite clapping for Doug Burgum and Senator Tim Scott and grew slightly louder for Ms. Haley. Mr. Ramaswamy and DeSantis received raucous shouts. The more moderate candidates, Aza Hutchinson and

Mr. Chris Christie, were met with silence. Bro, Christie is so cooked.'s done bro he's like there's only one badass that can stand up to dot tjt and that badass is me and like he just can't even get a fucking room of like fucking geriatrics excited um former president former vice president Mike Pence, who has been reviled by some Trump supporters, elicited hissing and boos. They hissed. Was Mike Pence, was he running?

Is he running? Yeah, he's running. He was on stage last night? I'm pretty sure he was. Oh my God, dude. This is how out of the loop I am. What the fuck? It would be hilarious. Like, Mike Pence runs and it comes down to him and Trump.

And just the shit Trump would. Mike, you were no good. You were no good as Vice President. They should have hung you, Mike. They should have hung you. Look, he's swinging in the breeze. You looked like shit, Mike. You got the fly on your head

you remember the fly on your head when you're debating combo god i forgot that happened jesus christ what a weird moment oh shit oh shit yeah all right pence thinks he's just got a home run and like revenge turned on his old boss and Trump just turns him out in front of everybody in America well I guess we'll have to stay tuned for a rest time that should be a TV show a rest time 730 it's like the sequel to Cops. It's so sick. Oh, all right, boys. Let's close this one down for the day. Thanks for listening, everybody.

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Bye-bye. Bye.