Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 356: Securus Maximus

Episode Date: August 23, 2024

This one has a really great story in it. But you have to suffer through one entire hour of world building to get to it. Rest assured it's worth it! Support us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/trillbillyworkersparty

I almost got eight hours of sleep last night Almost I can't tell you last time I've done that what almost you get like seven hours and 41 minutes Damn, he's knocking on the door to you say you keep track of your sleep Well, just you know, I guess your phone keeps track of I guess when you set it down for the last time I guess it assumes you're asleep or dude. Okay, that's fucked up That's not scientific. Well, I guess what they think is just that everybody just plays on their phone

to the minute they go to sleep, which is probably true. Yeah. That's what I've been wondering, people have those tweets about how AI is, takes up so much, you know, like the AI slop. Like it takes up so much energy. And I'm like, well, I know it does, but like how much energy are we consuming

just fucking being on our phones all the time and reposting the AI slop? Like what's the carbon footprint? I've stayed on your phone for 20 something hours. The internet in general. You know, this is gonna sound very stupid. You've stayed on your phone for 20 something hours. The internet in general. This is gonna sound very stupid. I've never once thought about that. Never even considered.

Never even considered that I'm actively contributing the more I play on this thing. You know it's bad when you have to recharge your phone like three times a day. Dude, yes. That's pathetic. You should be able to have a full charge in the morning and then hook it up in the evening, you know?

Mm-hmm. Can't be good. Can't be good. Were they cooking when they came up with the concept of carbon footprint though? Whoever did that was cooking. It's got some bite to it. It sounds good.

You know there's like turns of phrase that just sound good. You know what also goes hard In music there's something called a time signature time signatures good that goes hard man time signature I like when music writers talk about the sonics of an album. Oh the Sonic they just love time out the sonics Oh, okay, you know, I mean like the EQ. I don't know what they mean by compression or they'll say something like The sonic I heard I once heard somebody refer to

Billy Gibbons guitar playing as an oral assault. Oh and I was like hell yeah, that's every time I hear interesting I think man, that's an oral. It our all salt. It's an assault of aura Yeah, I'm getting assaulted by aura. Yeah But that sounds bad though. I don't want to be assaulted by aura well Unless it's rock and roll man, man. I love I just fucking I have to accept it, but I'm just I love guitar I like love a heavy guitar Like I've been listening to a lot of hum lately you ever fucked with hum band hum the band hum

Downward is heavenward sure that fucking album has heavy-ass guitar in it, bro. I love a heavy guitar I love I love when I hear a guitar tone. I've just not heard before yeah, dude, you know blur is good for that That guy well Have that song but That's the only one in the context of that album. It's a good song. I love the gorillas, but I love blur But I did love song too. They like to fuck around with the 90s was a decade for guitar pedals Yeah, granted. They're still is people love their pedals. They love a pedal. I was listening to What if that at the DNC every time a speaker?

Spoke they had a pedal. It's like sound like a like, yeah my bloody Valentine. Yeah Yeah, and we like. Yeah. And we're going to help out the. Whoa. Wait, what was that? Whoa. Yeah, that's what, if they would have put me in charge of the proceedings, I would have done a lot of things different.

But what I would have done first and foremost was I would have made it an art piece. I guess it kind of was the most depraved art piece you could think of. I didn't mean to cut you off a second ago. What were you about to say? What was I going to say? I think I was just going to mimic the MBV pedals. Uh... Pshhhhhh... I was listening to the Aquarium Drunkard interview of Star flyer 59. All right, how recommend that's another guy

I like that guy knows his pet. I like that guy. Yeah, I like MBV I like that album called MBV the blue one the blue and came out in 2013. It's like what would happen What would my bloody Valentine sound like if they were older? It's like what would happen? What would my Bloody Valentine sound like if they were older? That's what the concept is. I don't like that. I like the concept. Yeah Man, I just love guitar though. I like when this guitar sounds Beautifully broken. You know what? I bet was beautifully broken that picture that jug band we saw from the narco farm If you still have you thought of what that might sound like what they were doing I've thought about it broken that picture of that drug ban we saw from the narco-pharmers. The narco-pharma, yeah.

Have you still, have you thought of what that might sound like, what they were doing? I've thought about it, yeah. Probably said. Ted, describe the lineup for the people, what we saw in this photograph. Well, you'd have to describe narco first. You need context on top of context, brother.

Well, so the abridged version is narco-pharmers where they sent drug addicts and homosexuals in the 50s and 60s I guess yeah as in Lexington, Kentucky It's probably most famous for being where William Burroughs wrote Kentucky Ham at yeah, or was inspired Frank Sinatra mentions it at the beginning of Man with the golden arm. Yeah, so they they sent him there to play drums Basically sounds like a proto sort of methadone cum MK ultra experiment. Yeah that's a good explanation. They were experimenting though. They were cooking. They may have actually even

stumbled on, you know how like the the Greeks the ancient Greeks had all the ingredients for coming up with natural selection evolution by natural selection smart enough to get there just couldn't put it together because of their their retrograde tick would he brains yeah yeah but like they were close and it's possible that at the narco farm they may have almost come up with Dave Matthews band. I Saw the all the makings there and makings of it. Yeah, all they needed was a fiddle player Yeah, no act out of his mind and for all we know We don't know because there's no recordings of it. It's a mystery drives me crazy

Yeah, I mean like as an archivist. We had like six guitar players and an upright bass player. Mm-hmm trombonist That you're right the closest the closest we got to that is Dave Matthews band, I bet I bet yeah They were probably played March of the Ants in that they were People have no idea what we're talking about, but that's alright. Yeah, that's okay. It's between us. That's a my concept stuff Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Man, I'll find you and I'll put you back together if you're broken. I'll find you If you're beautifully broken, I'll put you back together. You can run you can hide And I will find you did we ever time after time what that trailer was I don't think it was the Joker 2 trailer now wouldn't lady Joker. It was I think it was the crow. I don't know

I don't think it was the crow. I think it was bill scars guard reprising Brandon Lee's role in the crow I wonder if I searched trailers at the beginning of alien Was alex bald want to have anything to do with the crow reboot? That's Whatever. He's like, no, I love the crowd Hmm. I don't know It's dramatically it's the wrong message to send Yeah, he tries out for the

lead role Actually, no that would work because Brandon lee got shot So like if they were trying to avenge actually they actually should have cast Alec Baldwin Alec Baldwin has the gun They will they cast Alec Baldwin as the

Crow as the literal crow. Well, so he gets shot Brandon Lee. Oh I see what you're saying. You're saying like Alec Baldwin needs to pay a penance for his crimes. Yes And so he's cast as the crow And somebody shoots and literally shoots him on set. I'll find you and I'll shoot you on set. Yeah Man Dude it's not gonna it doesn't say it doesn't say what the trailers were for I wonder if I just searched trailer beautifully broken. I thought you might be so beautifully broken.

You're just gonna get jelly roll tour dates. That's what you're gonna get. What is rural America's obsession with being beautifully broken? I guarantee you, I walk around Eastern Kentucky and it would be 48 hours before I'd see somebody with beautifully broken written in calligraphy on their arm or on the back of their like 1997 Chevy yeah Pontiac yeah whatever Pontiac Sun Firebird you. I thought you might be so beautifully broken.

Alec Baldwin is the crow. He's the crow. I don't know what it is about, the allure of being beautifully broken is that, I guess the concept is you are taken down, pulled apart, but it's beautiful still? It's still, like even at your lowest moment, you're still a perfect creation of God.

You're still beautiful, dude, that's so poetic. I love it. I thought you might be beautifully broken. Broken. That's why I think it's the crow. Okay, well you could be right, but I'm pretty sure it's something. If I remember the trailers correctly, the sequence,

it was that, Joker 2, the crow, and then they probably played the Borderlands trailer for the 90th time. Or Deadpool. Or Deadpool. It's a bit out of month, but they're still. They're still playing the trailer. Still playing fucking Deadpool

Mm-hmm. I've saw must have seen that trailer nine times and I'm no closer to seeing that movie today than I was when I first saw it in March of 2022 dead penis You remember that game in high school where you would like go to the video store and you would like put penis or like butt Or balls or something into the title of every movie It was like the sum of all butts or something the sum of all farts You and your buddies just had an afternoon of you just laughed. Yes. You remember that you ever play that game apocalypse

but apocalypse You remember that? Did you ever play that game? Apocalypse Butt. Apocalypse Butt. Did you ever play that game? I didn't, but I bet it would have been fun. Oh man, you missed out on a great game. No, what we did was the video store back home

had little tags in front of everything. It had the movie name on it. We'd rearrange them and give Miss Caroline, who was the lady there, hell. I feel bad about it to this day. So you would put like driving Mrs. Daisy underneath like Kramer versus Kramer it's more like I'll spit on your grave too and faces of death for we've made those up oh I see that kind of stuff it was kind of a lowbrow faces of death

yeah it's like one of those video stores that had like a porn closet they played they had faces of death there. Oh, yeah they're not messed I missed going into like an old-school EKY video store and just like Staring at those boxes for hours like critters to I'm pretty sure they showed us a snuff film in some like DUI Thing in high school. I'm pretty sure that they showed us this because well, okay I know we've talked about this on the show, they staged a drunk driving accident

where people were dead. Did they put like the mangled car? Yeah, then Green Reaper was walking around and there was a mangled car. They did do that, but. Was that, so that was like pretty universal, right? That was, yeah, but I'm almost positive they also showed us this snuff film.

Yeah. But it was probably not real. It was a faces of death thing. Like, faces of death was fake, I'm almost positive they also showed us a snuff film. Yeah, but it was probably not real It was a faces of death thing like days of death was fake. I'm pretty sure they get you know, Chris Cottle Yeah, once very live it. He they would give bring him in to Like our school and he would like talk about some grizzly thing. He saw as a like a EMT He'd say listen, you all think this is you think this is fun He would like he'd throw a cuss word in there so everybody knew he was cool.

And say, you think this is cool, but I've seen a car accident where a guy literally got his, I saw a man's brain just laying out on Kentucky 15. He also told us that he saw a guy get his head cut off and it lived for like a few seconds after. The head or the body? Like the body was still like moving for a few seconds while the head was just kind of moving.

Amazing. So yeah. Like he definitely never saw that. It was just like- How do you see two decapitations in your life. If you see one, okay Like clean decapitation. Yeah, like what are you like a headsman for like the king? you're not an ex you're not the It was like they call that there was a Kurt Sutter show that was short-lived called the bastard executioner after

Sons of Anarchy went off there. I think it lasted two episodes in that candy. Of all the archetypes in pop culture, that's one that we just haven't really explored. The executioner. The executioner. We have cops, firemen, That guy, what? Hedge fund, anti-villains, meth dealers, but what about the fucking executioner?

Automation took his job. What if you're the executioner but you have IBS? Like you're squeamish about blood and stuff? You're not like squeamish, but it does give you just a little bit of stress. It doesn't give you like a lot of stress, it's just a little bit. You're just like, ah, I've been grinding my teeth at night.

Like what's your job? Well, you know, I I inject people with pinto Barbathol or something. Oh Oh, so you're like an anesthesiologist more or less For their final Destination. Yeah, and the worst that happens is like you grind your teeth a little bit at night. Yeah poop your pants every now and then I'm an executioner. That's beautifully broken. I Thought you might be beautifully broken. It's just like

Right, and you got jelly roll cranked Would you say the jelly roll is the troubadour of the beautiful patron saint of the beautifully broken? Yes There's just nobody like him. He's definitely said that in an interview at one point, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who the hell am I, bro, the free broken. Who the hell am I? He says who the hell, because he's talking in AAVE kinda.

He's a guy that has made his matriculation. There's a lot of these guys. They start out as hip hop acts and gradually become country acts. Yeah. Which is like a matriculation that you didn't see much of until fairly recently. That is very true, Post Malone's new album.

Post Malone most famously doing that, yeah. And it caused a lot of controversy. Why is it controversy? Well, I see a lot of people sad. He used black culture as a launching pad, now he's switching to be like a cowboy, to which I say, probably not that serious. This is interesting, right?

Has anybody ever made the leap from like... Country to rap. Well, no, that happens all the time, I feel like. Yeah, I guess Billy Ray Cyrus, most famously. Yeah, well, I guess you're right like individuals know but like as a genre It has become more The lines are blurred and they're blurred And obviously the whole country genre now just exists

For white guys in the south who want to acquire land On a quiet land and they want to feel like they're dirt and of the dirt and of the earth. Yeah, but they don't want to hang out with black people. Right. But maybe they do. They do, but only if they have the net earnings of a certain amount. That's true. You know what I mean? Yeah, but like I guess what I was going at was like has anybody ever made the matriculation from like they've started off Well, Lil Wayne tried to go from rap to rock Yes, true. But like what about little Wayne was like a first-round draft pick for a guy

I thought it was gonna be like he's definitely gonna do some of the country artists at some point. Mm-hmm But he didn't he's he's held the line. Is anybody ever gone from rap to polka? Klezmer music? Or some esoteric genre. Yeah, Klezmer music? Cause has anybody gone from like... Mata Shehu, I guess. He's doing like, white guy reggae.

Is he now? He's probably now doing Klezmer songs post October 7th. Damn. Israel is a country. doing like klezmer songs post October 7th, you know damn Israel is a car just calling for the hostages to come home to the sounds of klezmer music Israel is a beautifully broken Maybe the most beautifully broken We don't know why we do the things we do to these people. I guess it's just because we're beautifully broken.

I will find you and I will. That's nothing about being beautifully broken. Put you together. It's like an excuse to be an asshole in a way. It is. That's the thing. It's like, yes, I, because I feel like all cops are by definition beautifully broken and I think the whole idea is like It's a right-wing version of like having every single trauma you've ever experienced define you. Yeah

It's the same thing. It's just different Exactly, like the left-wing version is like I have to weaponize my trauma to win arguments Yeah, and the right-wing version is like I'm my reason I the reason I Cheat on my loving wife of 30 years. I'm beautifully broke. Yeah, and I yeah Cheat my best friends out of every penny is because I'm just I'm just I'm beautifully broke And that's okay because the Lord the Lord doesn't require us to be perfect. That's right. Yeah Yeah, like who were the beautifully broken of the Bible like? Peter Simon Peter I would argue God himself God himself

He said he repented that he ever made man. That's a very beautifully broken statement is a beautifully broken seven. Yeah Damn who else would be beautiful? Peter would be beautiful. Eve, in the Garden of Eden, Eve was like, we're so beautifully broken, Jesus, I'm sorry. He's like, wait, he's like, first of all, who's Jesus? Second of all, why do you have a British accent? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, you know, why is Jeremy Irons playing at him? Yeah. I thought you, why is Mia Goth playing? You got Mia Goth playing Eve, Jeremy Irons playing at him? I thought you why is Mia Goth playing Mia Goth playing Eve? There's a it's a problematic age I Thought we were beautifully broken. That's why you put us here. That's a good man. Yeah Listen to her is is That's a gnarly experience. That's the weirdest accent I've ever heard. Mm-hmm

She sounds like an actual doll I wish I wish I sounded like that the when I worked in service industry, sometimes I would just to fuck with people just like Bored out of my mind after like an eight hour shift boys gassy I'm doing me a golf next to gasping, do me a golf. Next person comes in, do me a golf. I wouldn't, she wasn't even out yet. Yeah, yeah. Probably wasn't even born yet. That's how fucking old I am.

But I would like literally like, I would do accents to customers just to like fucking get something. Did anybody ever be like, where are you from? That would be so funny. They're like, where are you from? That would be so funny. I'm from fucking Cork. From fucking Cork. Cork? Oh my god. I will find you and I'll give you your receipt. Just doing the white.

You left your receipt on the countertop. I'll find you and I'll give it to you. I'll give it to you. Would you like it there in two days or four to seven? Are you in a rush or are you in no rush? Would you like a tracking number? Call this little survey at the bottom of this receipt. Just call this number and take it. It sounds like you're trying to do Liam Neeson, but you are doing Patrick Stewart as Liam Neeson. I'm beautifully broken as well. I'm beautifully broken. You might have noticed something about me.

Perhaps you noticed an aura. My aura is beautifully broken. Perhaps you noticed that about me. Did you notice? I muted an aural assault on you notice I'm you're doing oral assault on you I noticed you were so beautifully broken I walked in here man man man man well oh wait reminded me do you think back in the olden times, in the medieval times, people played that same game. Like, you know, putting like butt. Yeah, what they would do is they'd go see these like, like war tapestries. Well, if you got a guy and his name's like,

Ferdinand the Conqueror or something like that, he's wearing red spandex, but like they would know the stories, right? But like, they would be like Ferdinand the Butt. The Burr, the Butt. Sniffer or something like that, you know? Yeah, yeah, wearing red spandex, but like they would know the stories, right? But like they would be like Ferdinand the Butt. The Butt. The Sniffer or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or wait, what's the, in the opening of Elden Ring, what's the? Oh yeah.

Dung, what is it? The Dung Eater. The reprehensible Dung Eater or something like that, whatever. That's what it would be like. You're right. Wow, that's a good reference. You've been playing Elden Ring, bro I dabble whoa

That's crazy. I'll tell you say Elden Ring's kind of scary You're fine Oh, man, we could we could take this rabbit hole as long as you want Well, I mean I'm I've kind of gotten as a result. I've kind of been reading some some George some GRRM. George RR Martin? Yeah. You?

Why, yeah. What are you reading? I've always kind of been into him. Game of Thrones? Yeah, Song of Ice and Fire. Yeah, dude. Take him a plunge, dawg. Well, okay, he's a big fan of Gene Wolfe,

and I fucking love Gene Wolfe, but. Who's Gene Wolfe? He's a fantasy writer. I think I've seen some Gene Wolf laying around here for Mm-hmm. I got some here and there. They got a book with God in the title. I Seem to recall that and they have seen some Jane will find George RR Martin writes characters who are beautifully broken that is That's that's for That's for damn sure. That's his whole thing. He co-wrote Elden Ring or did some world-building shit. I don't even know what world-building shit is.

Would you please, would somebody hire me to do some world-building? I would love to do some world-building. We do high-concept stuff on this program time we can do we can really sell this I like Baldwin as the crow. Yes, that's got legs. All right for okay You know, let's give Hollywood a shot in the arm if we're gonna do some world building We have to come up with a world first. So we what is the well, that's what is it some builders and we need a world What is the world look like and what is it called? Is it round? Is it weird? Is it pointy? Do we even know? Are we so Backwards integrated like we don't even know what the world looks like You know, we don't even know the shape of our own. We don't even know the shape of our world

Here's some beautifully broken lyrics. I don't even know the shape of the hole in my heart anymore And then if we wanted to sell that to a Christian audience, dude, that is, then here's what we would say. That is beautifully broken. I know the shape of the hole in my heart. It's the shape of, and it's got three nails and two boards. That's uh, yeah, dude, that's beautiful. I would forget the Christian world is first ground zero for beautifully broke firstly I don't want any boards or nails in my heart my heart hole but uh, no Probably not the best way to heal a heart hole No, well, there's only one way to heal a heart hole

Why is now, you know that is that's too common to repent. That's true. I should have known. Yeah, that's how I did it That's how I was raised. Yeah, it's how I did it. That's how I was raised Yeah, it's like son. You want to heal your heart hole? No my god. Yeah Well, we have to come up with an art or a world though Yeah, yeah What does it look like I think be the change you want to see in the world Is that the name of our world our world should be called be the change you want to say spaces spaces and places All right, so like we this is this takes place in a long ago medieval past called

The name of this world is be the change you want to see in the world be the change you want to say It's a lot to say so it's just BTCTCW. You missed a Y in there. There's a Y somewhere in there. Be the change you want to see in the world. Let's just call it change world. Change world. Okay. That's a lot easier. All right but like that's just what people call it but we know that the scientific term is be the change you want to see in the world yeah or or maybe world or maybe it's got some sort of like vulgarian latin name it's like You know

Well, how do you name a world? No, I think change worlds good. It works in in fact Look, all right So we're building a world here and the first thing you have to do is you have to look at what it looks like Geographically. Yeah, and so on change world The mountains are made of piles of change Yeah pennies and nickels because we need to put those shit somewhere. They're either change change change change There's too many coins in the world in our world. Yeah, so we're gonna have this in our coins to change world. Yeah, and And then also though

There's a lot of change but then there's also hope and change There's that too. So so change world is run by an evil an Evil man born in Kenya who tried to pass himself off as an American. Yeah Barack Hussein Obama Having a hard time following this and hope world is ran by will the man from hope Okay, so hope world is the Clinton. Okay. There we go. Hope world is the moon that revolves around change world Or is this like a dispossessed Ursula Le Guin thing it's like two planets and They're kind of like Trinidad and Tobago. Okay, so yeah, they orbit each other

They need each other change world and hope world. Yeah change world and hope world Hope world. Hope world is like here's what hope world is. Hope world's not at all what it sounds like Hope world is where the leading cause of death is like sepsis originated with a gonorrhea infection. Cause you got Clinton at the helm. So everybody there is just doing like, everyone's there is like weird sex stuff. Okay, all right. Okay.

Is this like how we talked about last night? But not like in a fun way, like in like a sad, kind of depressing way. Well, right, it's like we talked about last night, like the guy in a fun way, like in like a sad kind of depressing one. Well right it's like we talked about last night like the guy who had seizures and he had brain surgery and it made him into a pedophile. Yeah they had to split as the hemispheres of his brain to cure his epilepsy. Everybody on Change World or Hope World. It made him a pedophile. Everyone Hope, okay. Yeah. Everybody in Hope World is a former epileptic who had the surgery. Had the surgery and it brought about

some degenerate personality change in them. All right, well we've established the geography of Change World, okay? You've got some oceans. Oh, the oceans are gold coins too, like Scrooge McDuck, you can swim in them. And the mountains are also coins. But like what's on Hope World?

What's the geography of Hope World? Is there a landmass? Is it all ocean? Probably kind of looks like Arkansas Okay, Ozarks Ozarks Foothills. Myth. No, let's not let's here. Let's keep it between the lines here. Oh, did I get out of pocket? No No, no, no, you didn't get out of. Oh, did I get out of pocket? No Get out pocket what I'm shooting for with Hope world is it's a very yeah, I guess meth It's good, but it's got to be a very sad place. What's the sad drugs? That's what we mean Meth is kind of a sad drug not in the moment, but not in the long term Nitrous the the nitrous is a sad. yes, but not it but it's natural there. So you mean the atmosphere is made of night It's not true

So you just go there and you're like, it's like you're on laughing gas all the time. You're unhappy. Yes The people on change world are really scared to go to Hope world because like when they have to wear special masks They do that way in really scared to go to Hopeworld because like when they come back... Well they have to wear special masks. They do. They have to wear N95s to go there. I think you need a little more than an N95. And somebody's like, I went there one time and took my mask off. Never again. I'd say, is this hard science fiction or is this just like loose because like, I personally

don't really care but some science fiction readers really like Adherence to actual hard science concepts. So if that's the case, you're gonna need a little more than an in 95 Yeah, we're gonna need something. We don't even know about yet. Mm-hmm. Yeah Hmm Some sort of suit but look we don't have to have I've read enough science fiction to know that you don't have to have the details hammered out you just say something like the hyperbaric suit that

De-neutralize the nitrous what's what's not still doesn't have to be explained Yeah, you know when we get into a Tolkien way of thing and having like playing 10th dimensional chess where you have like all this lore and then but it's also just like threaded just so that it's like, there's no continuity errors. Yeah, I don't. I ain't got time for all that.

Same, I'm the exact same way, man. Like when people get like really, really into like the world building of like fantasy and stuff, it's like. Or like syntax error in the original Elfen, you know what I mean? Wait, this is a great news though if you're getting into Elden Ring that means you've taken the first step to getting into fantasy You think so? Yeah. Well, it should be noted that I'm balancing this with a healthy diet of NCAA football 2024 so you're like an

addict who like does fentanyl in the weekends, but like takes fucking like Narcan or something like Yeah after or suboxone or something to like make sure that you don't get addicted I'm like you I'll play Elden Ring and kind of just hide for a little bit. I don't know what's going on But I'm enjoying the world the atmosphere. That's all I do man. I'm sure for the atmosphere I sometimes I'll sneak up on someone and slit their throats or like stick my sword up their ass and impale them that way but Mostly I do

Walk around and eat berries and hide in bushes The funny thing is your character in that lore your character's probably a feared sort of cryptid. It's like, no, you don't understand. There's a guy that hides in the bushes and stabs you in the ass, but he only does it every blue moon. Exactly. That's what fantasy and world building is.

Okay, so we're doing fantasy. Is there magic on Hope World or Change World? Now I'd say the magic's gone in Hope World. The magic is gone. The joke about Hope World is it's like there's no hope There's Bob Hope. The full title is Bob Hope World. Bob Hope's dead. But the full title it's sort of like how on Change World the full title is be the change you want to see in the world. Right. That's the full title it's sort of like how on change world the full title is be the change you want to see in the world Right, that's the full title of the hope. Yeah, and most people the change most people want to see is more of it You know at large amounts of it so they can be rich

Hope world is oxymoron. There is it's a world where there is no hope. Well, I've got a question about the Ecologies and everything else. What are the life forms on Hopeworld and Changeworld? Are they humanoid or are they just something we can't even... I would have to assume on Hopeworld probably gonna have to be a little different than our average human. Okay. Just if the atmosphere is nitrous. Let me paint you a picture. It's the xenomorph human hybrid from Alien Romulus. Okay, I like that thing. But they look like Bill Clinton. Because he's, like Bill Clinton's father to every child on Hope World. Okay. You know? All right.

So basically it's just like that thing. Dude, Hope World sounds fucked up. But instead of like being like, oh, like, oh, oh, oh, oh, can't say like anything, but just like kind of grimaces and like wants to eat things. It's very smooth talking. Okay. Do they have the cut on Hope World? Like the news outlet?

The news outlet. Do they have, do they have these neurotic bourgeois blogs about anxieties? About infidelities that happen in marginal riders' lives? Yes, exactly. Do they have that on Hope World? I'm trying to establish the political economy on each. Because, dude, we're doing world building. Here's what I'm imagining a little bit more. I'm world. Okay. All right. Yeah is like

Daytime television infomercials levels of depressing Have you ever had the feeling of sitting in a laundromat In Weitzberg, Kentucky doing laundry like two o'clock in the afternoon on a Wednesday and feeling like I understand why people turn to drugs and alcohol. One million percent. And like you're looking up the TV and it's like the views on or something or they cut over to Fox News and it's something and then like they cut to commercials like I'm gonna sell you a gold coin and a sack of joey on it. Yes.

And it's, this is like some people saying you will be able to retire off this in 20 years. You know, that's the feeling, that's the vibe I want to engender there. Okay. Hope World. One of no hope. The portrait you have painted of Hope World

is really truly disturbing. Constant 24 seven infomercialcials nitrous atmosphere everybody everyone's a P. Oh Everybody well everybody had the surgery as a pedo and Also, they compete on top of that they just act bizarre because they all have like Uti's all the time, you know, like an old person with a UTI and they're like kind of out of their mind Yeah, they like very childlike or something. Yeah, everybody acts like that. Everybody acts like that on Hope World Also, I'm starting to wonder how anything gets done But we'll leave that one to the imagination you have to leave something to the imagination. Yeah, I'm trying to think of how

Yeah, the policy on Hope World is three strikes you know so what happens like they if you Yeah, the policy on Hope World is three strikes. So what happens if you offend three times, they send you? Yeah, but I'm trying to think what the crimes would be in a place so they're like. Being good? Yeah, like helping your neighbor. If they catch you actually sowing a little hope in the world.

Right. They're like, you know what, take that shit over to be the change you wanna hope in the world. Right. You know what, take that shit over to be the change you wanna see in the world. But the reason why there's no actual hope on Hope World is because it's right in the name. It's Bob Hope World. Yeah. But people don't know the new.

It's a misnomer. All right, well then what do they look like on Change World? I kinda wanna know what's going on on Be The Change You Wanna See in the World. We've spent, we get it, Hope World's bad. Her world is not a place you want To get stranded with your spaceship. Yeah but if you If you do want to get stranded somewhere with a spaceship, maybe it's be the change you want to see in the world world

Hmm. Yeah. Well, there's certainly more wealth there. Because the rivers are just gold coins. Okay. That to me might, it's the ultimate welfare state. It might present a challenge because if everything was made of coins, it would drive down the value of the coins. But not on being the change you wanna see in the world because it has opposite economic. We've suspended the the rules of okay. This is good world beauty building

We could we can do the opposite of economics. Let's say on change world Less is more or wait wait more is more so like the the the economic principles that apply to our world where like a Bunch of something drives down the price and scarcity drives the value up It's the opposite. It's the opposite scarcity drives the value down and abundance drives the price If everybody's got plenty it's worth even more Why not that every man is a king every man a king yet. This is the yeah, there's a statue of Star say he we paid no when you wake up you go to the river you get coins and that's an end and

Furthermore, there's not even any competition. Yeah with each other. Everybody is like man Jerry's fucking rich this month, but good for him Good for Jerry. I'm glad to see Jerry doing good. I'm glad to see him. I mean, I'm doing pretty good too. Yeah. I have 20,000 Rolls Royce cars. And even if I didn't, I can still go down,

stick my bucket in the river, and be rich as hell in an hour. And it'll never change. It'll never change. It'll never change Yeah, so every time somebody tries to leave from Hope world Like and try to like go over there like they stick out like a sore thumb because they look like Bill Clinton human xenomorph hybrid, uh-huh, but they're like, you know, like a trench coat. They're trying like disguise, you know

What somebody would then that begs the question? What do they look like on change world? I can't say They I was thinking to do this. You'd probably have to make them like everybody is the color of The Shepard Fairey Obama Hope poster. Okay, like a gray purple like that Well, you see a bit like they're all like rendered that way in that style. Okay So they all look like they came off the hope Barack Obama hope poster This is an interesting concept because the hope that you want to see in the world is actually mirrored on change world in the form of the it's like inhabit the world in the form of the it's like inhabit the change world right the change world is this is like what Barack Obama campaigned on versus what he

delivered okay all right except there are delivered as hope for that's okay but there are some serious discrepancies if that's the case because as we've established the economic principles of this world are slightly different than even Barack Obama's wildest utopian schemes. That's true he didn't even he couldn't even perchance to dream that much. So this is pretty I don't know man. I do know one thing Guantanamo was shut down in the war here. Okay. like everybody's very proud of that too. This seems a lot like our world perhaps it seems like some bizarre a world versions of our world, but I

Think if I'm the writer or the editor, I mean the producer I would probably suggest we add some more Fantastical elements to make it a little less of our world. Here's what the economics are. The economics are like the platonic ideal of communism, but everybody denies that it's communism. Okay, everyone calls it. There's like, oh man, this is like a great, like this is the most successful communist,

people are like, whoa, whoa, whoa. So they have the concept there that people are whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Mm-hmm So they have the concept of that on their world. They live like, you know Like it is communism like it is like a communist utopia. Okay. I mean, I'm I'm thinking Let's just use George more arm our Marmar Martin arm our Mar Mar Martin. Mar Mar Martin. Did he stylize his name because he was a Tolkien guy? I think so, yeah. He was very derivative of a lot. I feel like he cribbed a lot from Gene Wolfe too.

But I would like to make the case one day that he is, I like George Martin. You fuck with him. I mean, he can be cringe, he can be a little, there's a lot of rape in his books. There's a lot, you know what I mean? But he is exploring some really interesting concepts

in some ways. Yeah. Because a lot of his stuff is trying to explore where does power come from. Yeah. Cause he, a lot of his stuff is trying to explore where does power come from. Yeah. And that's an interesting concept that I like to think about. Yeah.

Where does power come from, bro? Where does it come from? Where does it come from? Where is it made at? The rings of Saturn, where does it hail from? Mm-hmm. Was it shot down from heaven that time when the angel of light was cast out it could be it where does it come from I mean but to get back to

the change world in song of ice and fire or fire nice whatever the fuck it is there is a concept of a warg Talking about the Garth Brooks song. Yeah, it's a Garth Brooks song about a warg. Okay a warg is someone who can has like a They're like a change Changeling like they can inhabit the body of an animal. Okay. Do we have anything like that on Change World? That's what I'm wondering. You remember the video game Altered Beast?

No. It might be a little deep cut. It might have been before your time. That is a deep cut. United Super Grocery Store in Weisberg had an arcade game called Altered Beast. It was like an old Sega game. You could become a wolf?

Yeah, well, you became a wolf at first. You became like a dragon. Whoa. Next level. Okay. And then you fought some guy at first you became like a dragon. Whoa next level Okay, and then you fought some guy that kind of looks like you ever watched 300 Mm-hmm, you know the hunchback trader of felties who could forget my favorite character really you're wrong Leonidas I can find he this is like a just a little grotesquery grotesquery Every stage you fight a grotesquery that kind of looks like that guy you shoot him in the belly with your projectiles but before you start the engagement he says welcome to your doom

so you have to fight some villains on change world right in the style of that esoteric well this makes me wonder like do we have dragons? Do we have large fauna? like in Gene wolf you've got these massive Megatheria they like are in they live in the ocean they fucking like what they look like we're talking shark Why we're talking squid like they're kind of human-esque and that's why it's creepy Yeah Mm-hmm pretty gross. Oh man. They might even seem in when they're massive Wow

But yeah that makes but on our change world. Is there anything like that? Is there anything like if you came across it? It would disgust you and also maybe make you horny a little bit, but also disgust, but maybe horny, but disgust. Cause like, let's be real, everybody wanted to fuck the dragons on Game of Thrones. That was the hottest party Game of Thrones. Everybody was like, oh, the incest and stuff, but the dragons, that's who I wanna have sex with.

Or the white walkers let's see what could be let's let's combine some things okay okay let's make a monster that its body is made out of sand. Okay. Okay. But its arms are made out of concrete. And its head is made out of a lizard. You wanna go amphibian or reptile for that? I don't wanna go reptile. I want scales.

You want scales? You want like a flickering tongue? I want reptile. I want scales. You want scales? You want like a flickering tongue? Yeah, flickering tongue with some scales and maybe some gills because it can't breathe the air on Change World. We don't even know what the atmosphere is on. What did we say? It's not Nidris.

No, that's Hope World. Change World is, what's the Earth's world is What's there? Come it's everybody's she'll doubt man. Everyone's chill the fuck out and Everyone's really lithium. Everybody's rich as hell What's chill everybody's hopped up on nitrous a hope world and derelict I a hope world and they're like. I don't know, I mean, I think we've got some things here. I was thinking of a large sand cement dragon type thing. I want a dragon that breathes cement.

Okay. Like when he goes and he flies over a community, he doesn't burn it, he opens his mouth and cement comes out and people are like, ah, we only have like an hour before this hardens. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god like we're covered in Yeah, that's just a dragon that covers everything cement He cut so you turn to stone but over time you have like an hour or two to get it all washed off Oh, if you don't it's just a more of an annoyance than anything

Then like the but the Dragons fear because like people have been at work I'm trying when actually nobody works on change wars everybody's independently wealthy because the natural beauty But you've been on like a walk somewhere. Maybe they go collect some more gold coins to continue to pad your pockets And like your home got covered in cement but you didn't know and you get back, you know. God damn it. Fuck. Horror, horror.

Here's what happened. The dragon cemented the golden rivers, like the rivers of coins. And now all the wealth is. The wealth is plummeting. Yeah, because nobody can scoop it out anymore. No one can scoop it out anymore. It's causing an instant crisis.

It is, because abundance is wealth in this world. So like when you destroy all the abundance and make it scarce, you're driving. Scarcity is just scarcity. It's bad. And abundance is abundance. Our quickcrete dragon. Yeah If you were like this isn't even the good cement. This is cheap quit Crete and the dragons like

Tell them that we've had they've had to tighten their belt at the headquarters. Oh you were concrete snob now Snob, I'm just saying all we have to do is like Like a couple of rains and like, you're going to have to come do this again. Someone's like, I think the dragon's beautifully broken. Finally, somebody understands me. Finally. Someone understands me. Finally, man. I'm firing like a man. It just goes. Hey man. And then somebody's just like,

we remember the cement crisis of 1924 up here. It tanked our economy for nearly three weeks. Well, if you breathe cement, would you get heartburn at all, I wonder? I wonder. I wonder. I wonder what that. Actually I do know what you would get. You would get pneumoconiosis.

You'd get black lung. Yeah, you would get dragons pneumoconiosis. That's what's killing the dragons in Change World. Yeah, yeah. They're getting gray lung. They are. Yeah. You would think that they would have evolved a way to be immune to that by this point

because they can somehow, they have cement glands. Yeah. They have glands that create cement. No, it's an occupational hazard. Barnacles actually have glands that create cement. Did you know that? No, I didn't know that. Yeah.

Like barnacles that hang out on the sides of whales. Yeah, that's how they do it. They have glands that create cement and then they- They bond to whatever their vessel is. So look, I'm saying my dragon that breathes cement has scientific ecological precedence here on Earth, on our world. So barnacles, would you consider a barnacle a parasite?

That's a great question. I do know that they have the longest penis to body ratio of any animal in the animal kingdom. A barnacle. A barnacle, yeah. That's why it must be why the old timers used to say hung like a barnacle. That makes sense.

They did say that. Why did they say that? I guess that's why. That's the way they did say that. Why did they say that? I guess that's why. That's amazing that they said that. Well, Bill, buddy, he's got one on him like a damn barnacle. It was crazy that landlocked people would say that in East Kentucky.

What about ducks also have a favorable penis to body size ratio? I think they kinda of look tasty. Don't you think one of these little barnacles looks, don't you think it kind of looks like a little cookie? A terrifying cookie. Disgusting for sure, but it kind of looks tasty. Like some sort of little Danish treat, yeah.

You can see there. Barnacles have no true heart, although a sinus close to the esophagus performs a similar function um the main Sense of barnacles appears to be touch What's the thing about their penis Where's the penis so they reproduce sexually? I do. Yeah. Well a barnacle looks like this

But they like they see what you're saying is this is not an impressive penis just Proportionally, it is proportional. Yeah. Okay. No, right like as an absolute value. No, no, but Proportionally. Yeah. Yes Like they're rock evening bad there like the evening bag like they're fucking rocking out I'm not wanting to write home about but if you're bad I wonder right home Uh-huh, I think that the whole thing is a little bit unclear to us though Everybody on Hope world has also made other than just being a former epileptic pedophile

Also Also has made like a monkey's paw wager about their penis. It's like they just petitioned God for a huge penis but they got one of those weird duck corkscrew penises. You know, you said you wanted it so I gave you the largest terrestrial mammal penis there is. Well okay we're doing world building here. What are the religious systems on each of these worlds? I mean because do they believe, are they polytheistic? Do they believe in gods? Is there one god? Changed world Islam. Islam. Changed world, it's just Islam, okay. It's Islam, yeah. Any specific kind of Islam or?

Wahhabism? No, Shia Islam. Okay, they're into Shia. And then on Hope World, we're gonna do Zoroastrianism, we're bringing that back. So monotheism. I'm kinda surprised to hear that because there's a world-building thing. Personally, I think it's fun to do polytheism.

It's kinda fun to do God's. All right, scrap that. Okay, if every it's fun to do polytheism Alright scrap that okay favorite man's a king. Mm-hmm on Change world. Here's what we're gonna do. Here's the here's the Holy Trinity of change world Uh-huh. It's the three Huey Huey Lewis Huey Newton and Huey long And there's a statute all three of those are the gods on change. How's the gods on change? change world is sounding less and less like a fantastical place and more and more like the 20th century is nightmare version of What if the Soviet what if like

It sounds like if a this so it's what's made in roads into the United States It sounds like a an American version of this Change for all to yes is exactly what would happen if Americans got a hold of Soviet We had to have our own features, you know The guiding principle is Honestly at this point. I genuinely wonder if Americans well if we deserve it. No, we don't we've we've condemned ourselves to hell at this point We don't know But like but be could we even handle it if we got it. I'll say before you go any further than that. I Just want to say that we have condemned ourselves to a devil's hell. We will never get communism because we don't deserve

We don't deserve no, this is this is the end my friends But if we did deserve it, even if we hadn't condemned ourselves to hell Americans if they got if we got communism we would go hog wild we would go crazy There's no way we can be trusted No, they came and said here's the keys to communism You know choose wisely we would we would not be able to It would be like the international but to the tune of the OJ's Love of Money. And that.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It's just abundance forever. We would just like. Dude, yeah. But there would be, like we would skimp on like central planning or anything and we would just like blow our nut on all this wealth in like one fell swoop. Uh-huh. Like everyone would be a king for about 90 days and our gods would be Huey Newton Huey law

And the demigods the news Dear God man, I like the concept of a demigod. I love it when a fantasy thing has a demigod somebody's burdened with You know Human attributes as well as godlike attributes, I guess would that Hercules would be the quintessential example The thing you have to the thing about Jesus Christ demigod. I'm gonna say demigod for sure. Yeah for sure That's why I like Gene Wolfe I have to, the thing about- Jesus Christ, demigod? I'm gonna say demigod for sure. Demigod? For sure. That's why I like Gene Wolfe.

He takes a lot of like ancient Greek tropes and concepts and stories and just reformulates them into a kind of like science fiction fantasy world. So like you're reading a character and then you slowly realize over time like, oh, this character is actually not human. No, yeah, yeah. It's a demigod. That's a dem is actually not human. It's a demigod.

That's a demigod. Hey, that's a demigod. Wait a second, Gene. Wait a second. I've been here, I've been reading this this whole damn time thinking this guy is mortal. What? No.

Are demigods mortal, immortal? I would say demigods are immortal. Immortal? Yeah, that's what sucks about it because you're not a god But you you are human but you're immortal. Would you rather? Would you rather let me ask you a hypothetical. I'd rather be an immortal god than an immortal human Would you rather be like be a temporal god?

mmm interesting or a Immortal human I'd rather be a temporal God so you'd rather like be a God for like 80 to 100 years yeah dude I the last thing I want to be as a human for eternity no thanks I think I'm good. You know the closer like okay, I can imagine how like If you grew up like my forbearers grew up in the wilds of Eastern, Kentucky Probably, you know killing what you eat and whatever they did to probably doing genocide Eating turtles eating turtles I know the things that eating turtles eating turtles catfish whatever okay Uh-huh, and you hear the good news and the good news is that I get to live forever in a mansion in glory

I can see how that appeals to you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but as the things How do I say this devolve? Uh-huh is the luster of eternal life, like does the message of the gospel and like the reward, your eternal reward at the end, over time is that going to diminish as like our craving for the end? You know what I mean? I think so. Like the way our minds change, like is is there gonna be a point where like the promise of the Abrahamic religions or whatever is just gonna sound like

It's just not for nada not appealing whatsoever. I Don't I guess it's probably the wrong reason to be into a faith is for the ultimate reward I think probably the more noble approach is just like, just wanna live a good life. And I think it gives meaning to the, it gives meaning to the unavoidable fact that this is all fleeting and that you will eventually die,

probably in a horrific manner too, right? Yeah, that's the thing. Deaths are only gonna get worse, I think. Yeah, if you have to experience suffering, it just helps to know that once you're gone, actually you're not gone. You know? Say that again.

You know, it helps to endure suffering if you think that, well, on the other side of it is walls of Jasper, streets of gold. But here's the thing. Dura suffering if you think that like well on the other side of it is Walls of Jasper streets of gold, but but here's the the walls made of Jasper. There's the thing seems like an architecture I don't know Jasper either. Is it green? It seems green. I Don't know if I want to live in a greenhouse So here's the thing I think sometimes about that. Uh-huh. I Never wanted to say this out loud But the concept of eternity never appealed to me

You never wanted to admit that to anybody not just the mind-boggling thing of like It just going on and on and on forever and never never never never never ending Yeah, no, that's why you don't does that not seem scary to you As long as we can do praise and worship forever, then I'm good. You'd be fine. As long as you can drum upside down forever. Yeah, Lord, I lift your name on high.

I can do that forever. Do upside down drum fill. Lord, I love to sing your praises. And apparently that's what he wants, forever. Forever. Yeah. You can never stop Terrence. And you're like, nah, I got this then.

But here's the thing. It actually ends up being eternal torment because this new glorified body you were promised is like, yes, your body doesn't break down, but it freezes right where you're at. You know how like you were telling me, drumming is like very physically, like you're down for two or three days after a show.

Yeah, now that I'm getting older, yeah. Now you have to do that forever in that body. Oh no. And you're just like. Dude, well you would think though that God would give me some sort of little energy tablet. I would assume that in heaven they give you some little angel,

they call it angel dust up there, but it's a good thing. Well, the preacher Jesse Duplanis when he claimed he went to heaven said that you eat like a little copper colored fruit that gives you energy so maybe like when you're doing the drum fills he throws you this copper colored okay that's the shit I like to hear man that's world building that's world building that's the shit I like to hear the concept that if you go to heaven you eat a little copper colored fruit, like Alicia Silverstone eating

that little poisonous nightshade, but it's good for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's not dead by the way, she's fine. What was the poisonous nightshade? I don't know, it's some poisonous. Did she eat an elderberry without cooking it? I don't know what it was, it looked like a tomato.

Tomato is a nightshade, isn't it? Well, I think if, reason to ask that is because now they have to put a disclaimer in front of the elderberries at the co-op. And I'm wondering if that was prompted by Alicia Silverstone trying to rawdog an elderberry. Is a Jerusalem cherry. So there's the problem.

I guess she later confirmed she was fine and didn't swallow That's a little risky Crazy girl you crazy girl. Wait. I wanted to read a story that it kind of gets it Hope and change the world. Well, so she was eating a Jerusalem cherry then some handler came and said no don't swallow You'll die she went hock to a hock to hock to that Jerusalem chair. Look at that. We're doing remixing We're remixing the the famous hock to a concept in video. That's fine. But with a Jerusalem cherry Did hock to a girl foresee that I think she should Re-examine what objects can be hoctuid yeah it's not just about semen and spit it's also a lot of practical

applications of hoctua true Jerusalem cherry some cherry uncooked elder berries most plants children put in their mouths cement do you ever did as a kid you got like eat eat green shit? Yeah, all the time. I did that too. There's a name for that when kids are constantly eating something. What is it called?

Pica? I think that's when pregnant women get cravings for like crowns and stuff. Ashes. My mom said when she was pregnant with me that she craved like fireplace soot and watermelon. Okay, kids do also though have pica. They will eat dirt and shit.

Because I think what it is is, isn't it got something to do with, we kinda know what nutrients are in something that our body needs. Yeah. I think if you have iron deficient or whatever, that you'll want to like Cast iron pans or stuff like that

Yep, that kind of thing. That's what we tell ourselves anyways. Yeah Is that real or is that like an ideological thing? Well, like pocket it allows no, I guess I just mean like what is our vitamins? Are they socially constructed Are they? Electrolytes it makes you wonder dude. Why do we need all these things? Why do we need all these things? This is a great segue into this story. I wanted to tell you about dog. Here's Let me just say one thing before we actually get into the show

Let me just say one thing before we actually get into the show. An hour and five minutes. That is an interesting thing. Okay, if our forebears lived off of like well blubber and like saber tooth cat pelts or something. Right? Like, but now today, like if you don't eat fruits and vegetables, you're just malnourished. You mean to tell me like in fucking Ireland they had Florida oranges like 200 fucking years ago?

I don't, I don't know. I think that- How's that work? I think a lot of people throughout human history have been malnourished. The lineage made it though somehow. But the lineage did somehow make it, yeah. So-

I think humans are capable of incredible things, brother. Mostly we can live quite a long time off of. Dirt. Grul. And cement. Yeah, yeah. We can eat dirt and cement. That'd be fun.

Basically, yeah, you can, it wouldn't be pleasant but you could basically just live off of like... Dude imagine imagine how cute it would be if like you okay like all right we got to go down to High Street and pour some cement today like have you fucking talked to George today like I don't know man like he last time I saw him like he left the bar last night Like it was like he didn't look good and then but sure enough 6 a.m. Rolls around and George comes stumbling in and George he's a dragon and he's wearing a hard hat and he's like

He's like looks like shit his his wings are kind of wilted, he's just not looking good. But they're like, George, we gotta go work, man. He's like, all right, so you take him down and he, he barks at these little cements. That's how you lay cement. You okay, buddy? You don't have the rolling cement roller.

You know what I'm saying? Those are cool, I have to admit, I would like those. But it would also be cute. Just toss me around. If the way we got cement was a hungover dragon with a hard hat. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Wouldn't that be adorable? It's okay. You're providing a service. Oh man, hope and change world. This is this is straight out of change world. I think okay. Well actually no actually No, this is on hope world. Can I pee real quick? Wait, you tear it up? Yes Sock my kiss

My name is Anthony Kittis and I play in a band called the red hot chili peppers and I just wanted to let everybody know that this week this month. We've got a new album coming out we've got a new album coming out this month about the perils of fire hazards. That's right, Red Hot Chili Peppers is teaming up with your local fire department to teach you about fire hazards in your home. There's only one way to fight a fire. So he went up a die, so. So he but I'm a die.

So what I'm a die. I die. See what I want you to do. Dude, that's amazing that America, the height of American empire, the best like cultural contribution we managed to make was she but I'm a do but I sold my kiss. It is.

Sold my kiss. Do my kiss, doot-doot-doot. Four white guys doing rap classic rockin' funk mixed together. Yeah, and the peppers roll. So those guys are awesome. Make sure you got the batteries in your alarm. Changed in carbon monoxide, nothing to fuck with. See what I'm going to do with you. It can kill you right where you live.

Dear little god. Don't breathe it in like the Jerusalem cherry. The peps man. The fucking peps. The peps man. This story is straight out of Hope World. This is in the Lexington Herald Leader. Damn, the local flavor today.

Kentucky prisoners hack state-issued computer tablets to digitally create one million dollars how'd they do it okay wait a second wait a second so this is a change world story this is well this is a hope world story but they're trying to break out and get join change join change we're okay yes so here we start this from John Chives. Almost nobody outside of the Kentucky Department of Corrections has heard about how several hundred prison inmates hacked their state issued for-profit computer tablets to create more than one million dollars that didn't really exist. The quote, dollars were used for the purchase of expensive email and video visits with their loved ones as well as games music and movies

what like that's Like first of all like that's really It's really sad that prisoners have to create money to be able to talk to their loved ones Hey necessities the mother of invention though. I love this. Yeah. No, I know I'm This is a good story In this is sad circumstance, but sad circumstances, right? Yeah It's it's depressing that they had to go to such great lengths to basically get itunes Exactly and just to be certain we don't even use it much anymore

And just to be able to like talk to their like siblings or something Yeah, by the time state officials learned what was happening when they got an anomaly an anonymous tip on January 3rd 2023 a fucking snitch man the diginer that the prisoners had spent nearly $88,000 on digital media products according to a review of more than 1700 pages of internal investigative records For the for the next six months the Department of Corrections and Securus Technologies, the Texas company behind the tablets, struggled to figure out who bought what with stolen money and how it might be recovered.

"'What a mess,' Amanda Sale, the department's director of Info Services, emailed a colleague. "'I know,' the colleague replied. "'This wasn't the first time inmates outfoxed Securus.'" I like the company's name is Securus. And they're actually kind of bad at it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In 2018, several hundred Idaho prisoners

did much the same thing, hacking tablets provided by J-Pay, a related company, to transfer roughly $225,000 into their digital media accounts that didn't really exist. That's got me. I love, here's what I love about this story. I love the scope and the ambition of it,

but it's kinda like how your judgment can be awful sometimes, cause it's like, so like just overnight you went from zero in your commissary to 225,000. Like that's gonna raise some eyebrows, you know what I mean? Mm-hmm. It's an interesting story though

because it also gets into like the whole tech thing and the concept that like, okay, maybe, maybe, concept that like Okay, maybe Maybe All right, so like this is a real stoner thing to say This is a real stoner thing to say but like you ever looked at like a $20 bill man like when you fold it in there would you look at it like a look this is a $20 bill I have in my hands

right now it's a Federal Reserve note printed off by the Federal Reserve signed by Steve Mnuchin series 27 really yeah it is this was created by the federal government to signify $20 that's's legal tinder. It's a legal tender for all debts public and private But it's it is all it's abstract right? It's just like it's a piece of paper that denotes a certain numerical value But it's backed by the full faith and credit of the government or whatever the fuck But it is a physical object or whatever But like the concept that like money then migrates even more abstractly to just a number on a screen Is kind of an interesting thing, especially like when like when does that note?

actually become like Digital a number on a screen Apparently just whenever you type the number in. Okay, here's the thing. Here's the thing. To get around the security obstacle. Right, and so I see what you're saying. Yeah.

Like. You can make money be anything you want it to be, basically. Yeah, that's true. I mean, a common refrain the last couple years is that we like to say when we're burgeoning young socialists is like, money's just made up, man. Money's made up, bro.

But really, it kind of is. It is, 100%. And there have been attempts in various socialist experiments to abolish money. Like in the Hungarian Soviet Republic, they tried to abolish money. Well, I've lobbied for that during the Bernie years. Mm-hmm I said, you know what would happen if we just devalued all their currency. I

Think these guys did the opposite they just assumed that the currency still has the current value, but they just added more zeros To the number and then distributed among themselves which is an ingenious concept yeah how they did it is so kind of murky to me inmates now face leans Securus Technologies headquartered in Plano Texas a godless satanic place I should have I know I've been to play Dallas suburbs yeah it is godless and satanic did not respond to requests for comment. The company is owned by Platinum Equity, a private equity firm with over $48 billion in assets.

Kentucky Corrections Commissioner Cookie Cruz. Oh my God. Dude, I think I've met Cookie Cruz before. That's a lot of C, a lot of hard C sounds. Kentucky Corrections Commissioner Cookie Cruz Kentucky Corrections Commissioner Cookie Cruz, that's a lot. That's a lot of alliteration. That's too whimsical It is a little whimsical. Yeah, you got to find somebody that's not got an alliterative name there. Uh-huh Yeah, that like if you read that in a fiction MFA grad program,

you'd be like, come on. It's a little ham-fisted dumpster thing. Kentucky Corrections Commissioner Cookie Cruz? Yeah. And other state officials declined to be interviewed for this story. Kentucky Corrections Commissioner Cookie Cruz. Decline to be interviewed for the story.

The story. She ba da ba do ba do. Declined to be interviewed for the stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-stut-st Said no taxpayer was lost in the hacking which she referred to as a software glitch Only secure us can explain what it did to help retrieve the stolen funds Said cabinet spokeswoman Morgan Hall in some cases Hall added the department out mercenaries to they did really? Well, they I think they put liens on these prison on these inmates Okay. Here's the thing is why don't they just like Like delete their downloads or something like how like if I stole fake money Mm-hmm, and I was buying stuff a fake money like I feel like you can't just fuck you can just take the stuff back Right or like mm-hmm delete the files I downloaded if it's like moves music or movies or something but like how you gonna make me pay a lien on fake money?

I like the liens fake This if I can like get to the part where explained how they did this If I steal something immaterial, you can't make me pay a material price for it is fucked up Yes Look in some cases the Department of Corrections has placed liens on inmates prison commissary accounts Where loved ones deposit money that inmates use to purchase snacks toiletries and other tangible items Yeah, dude, that's fucked up putting liens on their accounts It's like honestly do this thing. I was like right to I'm gonna fucking die in here

Yeah, I mean all you want I don't give a fuck the thing is is like they they make these prisoners pay Just to fucking call their loved ones And that's what they fucking spent the money on people the only people in the world that actually have to pay these like fucking Ridiculous like long-distance fees on nobody even have with a cell phone out here in the straight world does that mm-hmm? It's fucked up man in the fact that that's what they spent most of the money on it's just like dude Okay, well that's one of those things where it's like yeah You can't take you can't take back what they spent the money on but that's like a you problem That's you probably shouldn't let that happen probably or yeah

Or you should just not charge prisoners to fucking call their family members Yeah This would this never would have happened if y'all would have been trying to make us pay like fucking $19 a minute to call home right? The debt collection continues today Now they call it Debt tablet related debts Jesus Christ. Well, listen, you can't take you can't forfeit my ill-gotten gains

Or you know or come get those and then make me pay restitution on top of that Like I get to keep the money if then make me pay restitution on top of that. Like I get to keep the money if I'm gonna pay restitution. Like I can do a finance crime out here and then just, they'll set me up on a convenient payment plan when I get convicted. Well this is actually an interesting thing because they created money to purchase these items

and some of it was spent on commissary things like tangible goods, like snacks and stuff. But a lot of it was spent on commissary things like tangible goods like snacks and stuff but a lot of it was spent on these immaterial and I don't I guess this gets into a whole other philosophical debate was like do you consider a song immaterial like no it is material but like the method by which we know it depends what kind of song that's true what if they were just down on these AI songs that are out these days? They could have been downloading chili peps They could have been downloading Save the girl was that one song breaking your chain and still tricking the girl

I hope they spent their old gut games on chili peppers discography That does got love California they love California more than anything Love it Wait, I got my last miss I lost my place here prison officials prohibited the inmates involved from accessing their tablets for over three months and any inmate who still owes Money is prohibited from using the phone system until their debt is paid off. Dude. is fucked up This is not their fault. It's the fucking securus fault It's like that dude if they found a fucking hole in the security system. That's on securus That's on securus on the fucking inmates no

Dog like basically I was just like just utilizing your tools exactly yeah, okay? This is how the hack worked. Securis won its first contract in 2006 to sell for-profit inmate telephone service to all Kentucky prisons. Later, it branched out to sell other digital products to this captive audience. It struck similar deals with local jails across the state,

including the city of Lexington. Prisoners are a lucrative source of income, Securis told potential investors around the time it invested entered, Kentucky That is in just as a fucking pull quote from our society right now prisoners are a lucrative source of income a lucrative source of income so the people that are the most down on their luck Man that is stuck in their circumstances can't I mean that is stuck in their circumstances Can't go anywhere Yeah, depend on that service to be able to do a basic human need just talk to their family members

It's it's you just it's a captive. Yeah, man. That's disgusting The Corrections industry has experienced sustained growth over the last decade as a result of societal and political trends the corrections industry uh-huh I used to be that like you know you ran a foul of the law and you did a little time or whatever now it's like no no we're gonna figure out to make all kinds it's so no that's it's the most vile thing you can imagine anti-crime legislation limitations on parole and spending authorizations for crime prevention and construction of additional correctional facilities have contributed to the industry growth.

Again, just as a pull quote from our discussion. Anti-crime legislation, limitations on parole, and spending for authorizations for crime prevention have contributed to our industry growth. As part of his contract with the Department of Corrections, Securus promises the state a cut of the money it collects from inmates. Dude, those parasitic sort of outfits are like, let me tell you, I'll tell this story on here, hell, I don't have any pride anymore, I'm just telling.

We've lost our pride, folks. So, the other day I'm sitting in the living room and I see a What appears to be a tow truck pulling up to my house? Uh-huh. They're gonna tow your house. No So what had happened was I'd forgot to pay my truck payment in July and Oh sure, they're coming and August cuz I've been on the road. Yeah. Yeah Like I didn't I was like fuck, I feel like I just paid that. You know what I mean?

You do direct deposit, dog. I know, that's why I learned the lesson I have to do that now, because I'm unreliable. Dog. They came and repossessed my truck. It hit 60 days past due, technically, because it was like a day outside of the grace period. It's absurd. And I was like, dude, I just feel like I just, and I went and showed whatever.

I was like, okay, I guess the last time I did pay it was in June. They don't give a fuck though because they've already gone out to there and they're gonna tow it. Or did they wind up towing it? Oh, they wound up towing it. Yeah, I was gonna say.

They wound up towing it. I was like, can I just call the bank and just pay it? No, actually we have to take it. Yeah, do you think he goes you from Weitzberg? No shit. I was like, yeah, he's like man Me too. I fucking hate to do this to you. What I was like and I knew the guy's son Which school the I mean people from Weitzberg all the time here. He's like, man, if I had known that, I would have told you to get it out of here

before I had to, but like. And I'm like, well, do you have to take it? You know it now. Yeah, I was like, do you have to take it? He's like, man, I do, I have to take it. He's like, but man, I'll get him to cut you a break or whatever, and I was like, cut me a break. When you go pay to get it out of the impound?

They didn't cut me a break, though. Oh yeah, no. here's what happens. I'm gonna charge you like $9,000 dog $4,100 what to get my to get my truck like yeah, okay, that's fucking Dog extortion. Well, I mean that includes like the the two which I would have had to make anyway Oh, right, right, right, but like that's another like 2100 in fees and shit on top of that. And here's what they do, Doc. I've never had anything like that happen, but I got like a look into how they bury poor people under shit like this.

You know what I mean? Like, luckily I could pay. Like I had the savings, I could just pay it. But what they do is they stack up all these bullshit fees. And then what ended up being crazy about it is like, they said, oh, well, we see where you did make this one payment on it that we didn't count. But because there was a loan freeze on it,

it was called a loan freeze, so once you go to repossession, any payments you make toward it could only be applied toward the cost of getting it unrepossessed. Oh my god So dude the whole thing there is this whole underworld, right? Like there's this there's this underworld economy of like hustlers and whatever whatever I find those people to be noble. Okay But there's this other like underworld economy. It's like yeah corrections shit like this and like repossession and all this other stuff That is strictly geared

toward exploiting already like downtrodden people. Yeah. And the funny thing is the guy knew it because the guy's like telling me his story. He's like, man, you know, I've been in jail for a while and I was like dealt with addiction and like got clean and one reason I'm doing this is this like the only job I could get when I got out you know What I mean, he's like and I tell these other guys that tow trucks all time that toast people all the time Or that repossess people all times like man. Y'all better check your karma check your karma I was like, let me reach you check your brother. Maybe I mean you should do the same, you know You could get another job

but like He did he but he was like no, but I'm different because like these guys will come to the office and like gloat about it like repossessing people's vehicles there is a very specific personality and it's it's like somebody that's like Too dumb or fucked up to be a cop which is insane because it seems like they'll take about anybody. It's physically capable that they get into this and like it's just like they they they don't have any power whatsoever in society and so they gravitate toward anything that gives them like a little bit of like Domination over somebody else and it's how you get like fucking meter maids out here with these Lex Park motherfuckers You get like correction stuff repo people. It's interesting because people think that like

there's this hard distinction between public and private prisons. Yeah. And it's, the thing is, this is a private industry that is contracted out by the state to operate in both public and private prisons. So even in what you would call like a public prison in the sense that like the state runs

and they probably don't even run it. They own it technically, but they probably contract out some company to run it. There's still like not this hard distinction between public and private because like so much of public incarceration is mediated by what you're describing. These like third party operations. Shadowy fucking like.

That just squeeze surplus out of it. Like little like, I don't know, like gross little greasy like companies that they only specialize in like fucking over somebody in a very specific way. Well, and as you pointed out, or as it points out here, Securus promises the state a cut of the money it collects from inmates.

That's fucking crazy. That's mob shit, dude. It is, dude. That's what I'm saying. That's what I was telling somebody, with the car repossessed thing, I was like, if this is how this bank treats this thing, I might as well finance my vehicle

through fucking Jimmy the Shark or something. You know what I mean like this fucking ridiculous Yeah It probably cheap Yeah Since 2020 the company has paid the state 22.3 million dollars that it's cut that it's got from inmates For just calling their family members and buying like little girl bars.

That's just the share that the state has paid. That's just the share. To this outfit. Exactly. I'm sure it's probably up in the upper millions, hundreds of millions for profits for this fucking company. Yeah, yeah, yeah. On December 9th, 2022, to help this cash flow more smoothly,

the Department of Corrections loaded a new app on inmates' tablets. The app let inmates transfer money from their commissary accounts where loved ones deposit money for them to buy tangible items from the prison canteens into their securus accounts where they can buy digital projects products from the company on their tablets it's like quite literally just um It's a kind of like monopoly scheme like Securus basically provides the platform for purchasing these movies Music or oh so like if they want like it they've got their own like items sounds like it. Yeah

Yeah, it's like it's like a Spotify for prisoners. Basically, that's fucked up Dude, it's like why can't prisoners just have Spotify very dark. Yeah within 24 hours. Well, probably because a Probably because a lot of these apps like 90 dollars a month and they've only got like six albums Yeah, that's that's part of it But I also think that like a big part of it is that like sort of in the same way that you can communicate with people through like PlayStation messaging.

You can kind of communicate with people through your Apple app. In the sense you can build playlists with other people, probably send messages in some way. You know, does that make sense? There's ways to communicate with the outside world. And in this way, it is like a mafia thing because they're trying to control the communication.

They're trying to keep that barrier between the inside and outside world as impermeable as possible. Yeah, so they can just make all this crazy money. Exactly, exactly. Within 24 hours, the first inmate outsmartedarted secure us by figuring out how to hack the app within 24 hours 24 hours, dude. I'm sorry You don't deserve to if you if you were that easy to fucking break down and you deserve every fucking

loss that comes 100% Well, Daniel Brown a 30 year old bowling green man had a commissary account balance of zero dollars at the 1200 bed Luther Luckett Correctional Complex in Oldham County Okay, well where he was serving 30 years for child sexual abuse so well This all of a sudden becomes a Hope World story You know, we're just calm balls strikes we're just losing the lack of funds didn't discourage brown playing around with the new app brown later told investigators he discovered that if he put a minus sign in front of

a dollar figure as he transferred money from his commissary account he would actually add that much money to both his commissary accounts and his securities account. Doug, if you get outfoxed by a fucking old pedo who hasn't seen the outside since the fucking Reagan administration. I'm sorry. You deserve, you deserve to lose that. Uh, yup. So for example, we're typing in negative $500, suddenly credited $500 to both of Brown's accounts. Money that didn't really exist.

Just conjured it up out of nowhere. Just because of a fucking computing coding error. This is what I'm talking about. If money is turned over to a computational mediation, then if you just change or massage or alter the the the equation You are creating money out of thin air. Yeah, which does raise a question This is this is separate from Bitcoin by the way Bitcoin is based it derives its value from the blockchain The blockchain is an in is a finite Theoretically the blockchain has a finite amount of Bitcoin on it.

Does that make sense? That's what gives it its value. Is the blockchain itself like the product of code? Yeah, I mean. So like at any time somebody could call an auto and be like, actually we're gonna make more blockchain and drive the value down? Theoretically, I mean.

Or is it just like an agreed upon internet nerd thing this is all there's gonna be? That's a great question. I'm pretty sure it's just an agreed upon internet nerd thing that this is all it's gonna be. But maybe not. I think well, no, no, no, actually no. I think it is a thing where this is why they have Bitcoin miners, okay? There really is literally a finite amount of Bitcoin, okay? And you have to mine basically doing these extremely complex computational maneuvers in a very quick amount of time to or summon or retrieve that Bitcoin, that finite amount of it. Then there is a record of that on the blockchain this finite amount is what gives it its value basically

Okay, and and the fact that you have to work for it I guess but they don't really I don't know if they get that deep into value form But uh, but this is not even that this is literally just using the Federal Reserve's This is literally just using the Federal Reserve's backstopping of currency, what gives it its value, and just basically typing in the number that you want out of it. Yeah. That's great.

I want $900 million. So is it possible that if this old pedo had a little more ambition, that for a brief moment He could have been the richest man in the world This child can make this child predator former child predator hope work up to 30 years Was briefly richer than Elon Musk It could have been I guess maybe he he did, he was simultaneously not ambitious enough and too ambitious.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I would have shot the moon if I were gonna go, you know what I mean? I would have either have like, you know, there's the old adage, you know, you can shear a sheep many times with skinny mulling once. I would have either taken that approach, or I would have got my fucking tarnished name in the history books For five minutes I was the richest Well Daniel Brown thought he could make with Andy Dufresne and little Daniel Brown Like if I was him, I would have just been creating like two dollars here and there

Like chipping away like Andy Dufresne at the wall behind. But see if he would have briefly been the richest man that ever lived, people might forgot about, you know, the pedo. It's like the Michael Jackson effect, you know what I mean? Yeah, just by virtue of doing something so audacious and over-the-top and impressive, people forget about the pedo. Yeah, the old pedo. You get one ticket off of Hope World, sir. You buy your ticket. people forget about the PEDA. Yeah, don't pick it up. You get one ticket off of Hope World, sir. You buy your ticket. Inmate Brown continued to make deposits

by placing a minus sign in front of the amount, investigators wrote in their report. Inmate Brown made a deposit for $100, $16, $1, $294, $300, $362.43, $319.12. The total amount of deposits inmate Brown made is $1,892.55. He also admitted how easy it was. PRISON OFFICIALS DID NOT NOTICE.

Commissary accounts are used to buy real life items. Okay, we've been over that. Kentucky inmates drop about $4 million a year at prison canteens. You can't pass around too much money at a canteen before a guard notices. In fact, when a Luther Luckett Correctional Complex inmate tried to buy $735 in snacks and drinks

using the $2,400 he had. Hey boys, it's on me tonight He got caught right away everybody's eating Twizzlers and swim jams tonight on me But Securus accounts operate entirely in the digital realm on tablets inmates shop and consume digital products from the relative privacy of their own cells word quickly spread among inmates about how the tablets could be hacked privacy of their own cells, word quickly spread among inmates about how the tablets could be hacked. I would be interested to know what kind of degenerate artist has allowed their music to be licensed

to this fucking J-Pay Spotify. Dude, that is fucked up, right? That is a great question. It's like Neil Young, we took his catalog off all that he put in it. He just put it on Securus. Yeah. It's probably like R. Metallica and Neil Young. It's probably disgraced artists like R. Kelly. Metallica and Neilio.

It's probably disgraced artists like R. Kelly. Gary Glitter. All you can get on there is Gary Glitter and R. Kelly. It's like their entire catalog is just a who's who of like disgraced former stars. The dream. You only get like Shia LaBeouf movies. Anything directed by Brett Ratner. Or who's the guy?

Singer. Brian Singer. The Leon the Professional movie. Just by virtue of the fact that is very creepy and Word quickly spread among Kevin Spacey filmography Word quickly spread among inmates about how the tabloids could be hacked games movies and music could be purchased with money that didn't exist An hour ago so good video visits and email stamps. That's fucking crazy you have to pay to send a fucking email.

Yeah, that's really. Fucking insane. That's, dude, that's just, that is, to me that's cruel and unusual punishment. Some inmates spent hundreds of fake dollars stocking up on email stamps so they could write home for free. Oh my God, such a fucked up thing. Email stamps. Listen to yourselves.

Email stamps. You just make up things to exploit people. Seriously. Y'all need an email stamp? It's literally a digital fucking packet of information. It's bad enough that they probably only get access to a computer like 10 minutes a day anyway like fucking over the next few weeks according to one estimate 366 inmates collectively added

$529,000 both to their commissary accounts and their securus accounts for a total of more than one million They quietly spent $87,000 on secure as digital media products without prison officials noticing. How much? $87,959. So sick. In a 72 hour span, for example, inmate John C. Adams went on a Sec secure spending spree by buying $250 in email stamps $37 in games and more than $1,200 in music

Adams who is serving ten years for his role in a bell County meth manufacturing ring had loaded $1,700 onto his secure's account there these people better I mean like I'm serious these people better not be getting in trouble for this. This is fucking absurd It is absurd. We fucking charge them to send emails and listen to music. Yeah, just for people to make fuck Okay, it'd be one thing it would be one thing if it was if they were just doing that to punish them But that's not even why they're doing it. They're just doing it to squeeze profit out They're not even really doing it to punish them really. I mean it is but it it's- It is, it is de facto, but if they couldn't make money off of it, they wouldn't care.

They wouldn't, yeah, exactly. Their fun ended on January 3rd, 2023, an anonymous email to prison officials revealed how the hack worked. They got snitched out, man. Who did it? Some bitch ass CEO, I bet. Probably.

By the next morning, officials were frantically emailing each other all caps alert alert Making plans to seize the inmates tablets and shut the lard alert. They've they've spent $7,000 on Gary Glitter downloads In some official in some cases prison officials scrambled to get money back as fast as possible From inmates who were scheduled to go home. Oh my god. I have an inmate that was released today from DOC. He is leaving with approximately $1,700 in arrears with Securus.

That means, okay, $1,700 in arrears with Securus. He doesn't get to take that money home. If it's for Securus, it means it only has value if you're in the prison itself. Right? Just like Gary Glitter's music. It has no applicability outside of the prison. If we give you a list of outliers, we can reduce the loss in the end for both of us McKinney told Hewitt three months later on June 2023 he would propose to McKinney that secures in the DOC split between them any financial losses that could not be recovered We will absorb the price for all of their costs games movies content delivery stamps

The cost there's no stamps movies, content delivery, stamps. Because there's no stamps! It's email! Jesus Christ, I like how they act like this is just like such a great financial burden to them. Like what you're talking about is guys got away with maybe like lifting maybe a couple hundred bucks in like fucking digital products.

And maybe some like goddamn Doritos. Like seriously. Like that's what you're like. That's what's the grievous crime here No, it says but we request that Kentucky cover five or This is so bizarre. I'm gonna go send a message to Plano, Texas Suck my fucking dick cuz guess who's put me and you foot in the bill for this fucking outfit They they assured us no taxpayer monies were lost This is the weird part though. We will absorb the price for all this. I personally subsidized prisoners listen We will absorb the price for all other costs games movies content delivery stamps But we request that Kentucky cover 50% of the stolen music as that will help cover

the licensing costs we are unable to get refunded. Licensing costs. I believe this sounds fair, thoughts? I agree, at most the inmates had just under a month to enjoy these purchases. I think if we were able to put a lien on their account to pay back the remainder of the balance, then they would get their tablet back once that is paid.

Here's an idea. That's so fucking stupid. Here's an idea. Just take your stupid- just take your stupid-ass fucking digital- I just- it's so fucking stupid dude. That's so fucking- oh my- Stupid. Who stole from whom? Kentucky State Police and the FBI took an interest in the hacking.

Who stole from whom Kentucky State Police and the FBI took an interest in the hacking they met in February 2023 with Warden Amy Roby to ask her about secure. This is baking app and it's now obvious vulnerabilities But nobody appears to have been criminally charged the Department of Corrections Ultimately declined to hand down much in the way of administrative penalties to the inmates. That's good. In a long series of disciplinary proceedings handled by Internal Affairs, the inmates were sentenced to 15 days of disciplinary segregation, confinement alone in a cell. Well, that's fucked up. But those sentences were suspended for 90 days, provided the inmates...

I think that they have to basically realize that, like, this is stupid as fuck. That's why they can't really impose any fucking penalties. It's because this is stupid as fuck That's why they can't really impose any fucking penalties is because it's dumb as fuck They've made up money that was already made up base and now they're trying to make up penalties And they're making up penalties to recover the made-up money that was already made There's no precedence in law for this like I would tell like if I were those if I were those prisoners I would just say get my lawyer to be like how do you put a lien on something? That doesn't exist doesn't exist. Yeah, I guess to them they can say that like the licensing fees for the music exists But like hey, that's a you problem. Again. That's a you problem

Yeah, like okay also too like if if I somehow hacked Spotify and I'm like Stealing their service, you know what I mean? Like, what's the worst that happens? You know what I mean? Like- I deprived Sturgill Simpson of 37 cents. Yeah. I think he'd be okay with that. It's just like, I don't know.

I wonder what the royalty payments are in Securas app. Like I wonder if you do, how much of- We have to figure that out. We have to get to the, we need to do some real reporting. I need to know. We need to do an investigative report on Securitas' streaming platform and figure out what they're paying in licensing fees

and what they're returning to the artist. And we need to start a national campaign to make all artists who own their masters at least. Like, you know, BDS. Taylor Swift? Yeah, BDS this platform. Right, yeah. The majority of inmates involved refused to answer questions and other inmates stated they were not sure

how the money got there, it just appeared. Bianca Tylek, executive director of Worth Rises, a non-profit advocacy group that's critical of what it calls the prison industry Said she would describe the hacking more like a loss of revenue for secure is than a theft of funds Okay, she's correct. This is lunacy these come yeah, she's right She said these are incredibly cheap services in the year 2024 I mean we're talking about email and video chat that would not require much of a state agency's budget

At some point you have to ask yourself who really committed the crime here yep she's right I would say secure has committed the crime on the state of Kentucky Kentucky let me tell you something you know you're a piece of shit when a pedo seems like a sympathetic character in this story. That's how bottom of the barrel that is. Yep. Pretty much. Man, anyways, I thought that was a nice little story you might enjoy.

Oh man. You're right, that is a change world with sharp Hope world time Mr.. Whatever servant a 30 year since for child sex okay stay on stay on message Well We are almost at two hours We are almost at two hours Banger episode but hey, you know we our contents been a little erratic lately So, you know some classes you're gonna get getting a little extra content. Yeah, look I I

Would anything to say about the DNC before we go I I like the poems. I think it's a grimoire spectacle. I think Well, here's what the funny thing about it is This is the always the eternal thing with the Democrats anytime you think that their tight their star is rising again And they're about to get back Just know they're gonna do something that's gonna set them back 20 years. Uh-huh I saw a headline. I think they did that last night. I saw a headline, I think this might do it. With 20 billion dollar weapons deal, US aims to help Israel and deter Iran.

The White House signals long term support for Israel, hoping to avert a regional war. I hate to break it to you, but giving $20 billion to Israel is not gonna avert a regional war It's going to further further a regional war So whether that happens before or after the election is kind of up to the White House if it happens before the election The fucking Dems will probably lose but I guess so we'll see yeah, so we'll see there I don't know. I just want to just make one thing abundantly clear though Okay for anybody that said that we're negative or whatever. Mm-hmm

There is no reversing course for these people. There's no pushing them left on Palestine. There is no none of that I felt a little crazy after that episode because one of my constant struggles with this show is like I'm an insane person Okay, I fully recognize that I get serious Second thoughts not when I have a take that's like weird or like out of left field or wrong What I get second thoughts about is triggering psychosis and mental instability in other people and That's what? what gave me pause. It's not that I was right or wrong about the Democrats.

For the record, I was right. For the record. For the record. History has absolved you. No, but like what I always... Two weeks of history. It only took two weeks. What I always worry about is like making people insane and I worry about that because I am I

Can come untethered sometimes I can get a little frothy at the mouth Okay, and so that's it. I just Want to apologize if I did make anyone insane. I want to say fuck you to anybody who thought said I was wrong And I want to say good on Amanda Gorman for dropping some heaters. What was the poem? She said, the American dream is no dream at all but a dare to dream together. That's good shit. That's so good.

What did she say about the earth and the country? She had one line that was like, is our country even part of this earth anymore? Oh, is it part of change world? Is our earth even in this country or something like that just made absolutely no goddamn sense Is our earth even in change world or are we more in hope world? I'm trying to find the quote. I Wish I could find it We gather at this hollowed place because we believe in the American dream.

Hollow Earth. They can gather in Hollow Earth. Does she mean hallowed place? But she said hollowed. I guess. But to be... I'm reading that from the blaze, so they probably said hollowed because they're racist assholes. We face a race that tests, we face a race that tests

if this country can cherish, Jesus I can't even read. We face a race that tests if this country we cherish shall perish from the earth and if our earth shall perish from this country. That's what it was. I wanna tell you something. Play that over some funk guitar and like a like a Bob Seeger click.

Yeah. Is the earth gonna come untethered? Starting to look just a little weathered. Tomorrow is not written by our odds but by the audacity of our hope hope world a little call back to Barack Obama's classic the audacity of hope we call that a the audacity of hope world. It's a reference or a sample She sampled Obama. Yeah If I was him, I'd be I won't roll. I want to roll Amanda I'm flatter. Well, man, I'm gonna need

80,000 million dollars made thousand million. I don't make the rules That was my my secure check didn't clear this month. So I'm gonna need you to cover the cost. Yeah Man I need to know who invests in secure is I mean I want an investigative report on their streaming platform. I need to know yes. I kind of know what kind of outfit this is. This is kind of like one of those dodgy deck collecting slash whatever slash whatever like outfits. I know that. But I want to know what this looking piece of shit streaming platform looks like. Their music platform. Yeah, and I want to know who has their shit on there. Mm-hmm Same I want to know who invests in it like who's on their shareholders like who? You know what I'm saying, yeah, I

Don't know Securus Doesn't sound very secure to me probably fucking CEO is like a The human xenomorph hybrid, but it's like it looks like Jerry Jones owner of the Dallas Cowboys. Mm-hmm Anyway, anyways, we have a patreon We would ask that you please go subscribe to it. It's at patreon.com. It's the the link is in the show notes If you'd like more content like this Um if you would like to hear john, dutton um

Go to willy wonka chocolate factory Then you can go to patreon you can hear stuff like that, too. That's the stuff that's at patreon What is this crap if you want to hear that go to patreon So I Think someone also clipped it and put it on YouTube so you could probably just go listen to that But I don't I think you need to like hear hear it in its full Context yeah of all of which came before it Yeah, so if you want to hear your kiss sucked

Well friends, you went to go buy blood sugar sex magic Red hot chili peppers 1993 for that exactly right man. That's exactly right, brother All right, go to the patreon. Thanks for listening this week. We'll talk to you next time. Peace