Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 38: The Incredible Journey

Episode Date: February 21, 2018

The kentucky wildcats won last night so this episode makes a lot more sense in hindsight. Like, the themes and shit.

You remember like a month ago or two, maybe it was more like six months ago, when there was all these headlines that were like, in Harry Belafonte's last public appearance. Like you're really pushing him out the door. And what is surely going to be his last public appearance. I feel like people have been saying that about Chomsky for probably a good 10, 15 years now. Like, every time you see a new Chomsky interview, you're like, damn. Dude, he got married, like, three years ago.

Two years ago. Yeah, he's like 70, like, late 70s. I think the... Or he's in his 80s now. The most pressing question on the left right now is, is Noam Chomsky still getting it in? I think he's still smashing. Let me look at him.

I have to look him in the eyes to know. Yeah, he's still smashing. I would say. Oh, we just sort of let that one hang. Sorry. No, it's not your fault. I was trying to find an autopsy of a bodybuilder that tried to get to zero percent body fat and then died of kidney and liver failure instantly

like the actual autopsy write-up report okay yeah it is andreas munzer go look at go google andreas munzer autopsy uh jerry is oh god my legendary bodybuilder who died with almost zero body fat My legendary bodybuilder who died with almost zero body fat lives on. What? Did you see his liver is particularly, wow, it's got big nodes on it. You got a noted liver? He had table tennis ball-sized tumors, and half the liver consisted simply of a crumbly mass similar to styrofoam.

Oh, my God. Oh, boy. Well, that was his ass, if that's any. Go look at Andreas Munzer's ass, everybody on Google. It's a cautionary tale for the super, for those that chase the burn. Look at that ass. Look at his ass? No, look, I got you right here.

Oh, what the fuck? That's what an ass looks like at 0% body fat. Dude, this looks like one of those aliens that crawled out of somebody's, John Hurt's chest and alien. Looks like that William Blake painting of the devil. I think it's the devil.

I know exactly what you're talking about. Godspeed, Andreas. Speaking of good asses, I remember I was reading, did I tell you about this? I was reading this book a few months ago about Alexander von Humboldt, and I was like this book a few months ago about Alexander Von Humboldt and I was like, they had.

Not the pivot I was thinking you were gonna go for when you were thinking of. Is that his first name? Talking about good asses. Well I was just as shocked as you were. There was like a little painting on the inside of, it was very like colonialist, racist. It was like Alexander Von Humboldt

dressed very nicely in this like Native American, you know, but it's like standing next to him. And like- Doing the juxtaposition of like the- But they made Alexander Von Humboldt like, I guess because of their like sort of like Western aesthetics or like Western values or whatever. They made Alexander Von Humboldt, I guess because of their sort of Western aesthetics or Western values or whatever.

You know what I'm talking about. They tried to make him more masculine compared to the- They're trying to make the native- Ripped fucking native. Look of feet. Yeah, sort of. Pretty much. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But he had a huge ass man My man had Who's the thick one Alexander Von Humboldt Oh my man had a Fat ass It was definitely Looked better than our guy Andreas Muenzer I like a fat ass on my Humboldt

Von Humboldt Yeah Andreas Muenzer's ass on my Humboldts. My Von Humboldts. Yeah, Andreas Munzer's ass on the other hand. God, what commitment to craft though. That's a great party trick, whipping that ass out at a party. Munzer ass or Von Humboldt? The Munzer ass. I got a song for you. It sounds like the start of that one song that you have always showed me the video of.

Yeah. With the little cum drops for jumping out of that spaceship. Yeah. Look at that mustache. I can only see it from here. Who is this? Giorgio Moroder. Moroder? And I like his shirt.

It's to denote that he's half man, half machine. It's kind of like the 1970s version of the tuxedo t-shirt. Everybody back then was in the cyborg thing. Yeah. You know Giorgio Moroder's German in that curveball? What do you mean? He's German. He's not Italian.

Well, I just assumed he was German because he was on that Daft Punk album. He's like, I'm Giorgio Moroder. Isn't his name like Giovanni? My name is Giovanni Giorgio. He could be like Italian-German. You know how some people are Native American? He could be italian german you mean like he was part of the original like visigoths who sacked rome in the fifth century

i see i see that's his lineage i see where you're going got it Got it. Man, I'm really into Italo Disco. Yeah. They had something really good going on there. Good scene. Oh, yeah. In the story, the lineage of good scenes,

1970s Italian disco is up there. Oh, yeah. With, like, German expressionism. I think Marotta was just mopping the pussy up. Now? I mean, not then. He looks great now, though. Probably still is.

Let's see what Giovanni Giorgio looks like. Now. Marauder. Now. Hi, dude. He looks like Bill Maher. Hi, dude. He looks like Bill Maher? Oh, no. He's kind of got a... Kind of like Werner Herzog.

Yeah. I don't know, man. Who's also Visigoth. We're not going to be able to look that good when we're... Fuck, no, I don't look that good at 32. Is that Lady Gaga I'm signing? That's what I was signing? That's what I was thinking that was really funny in that picture of us next to Nick Offerman.

He looks like Tom Selleck. That's why I said that. Some people actually thought that was Tom Selleck. Yeah. But he has very good skin. I look very frail standing immediately next to him. Well, there's a hierarchy of grooming products that we can't afford that he can't.

Yeah. Yeah. I bet... I think where I was going with that is that I think Marauder also has access to the same products. What kind of toner, Carrie, do you think Giorgio Moroder uses? Toner?

Yeah. Toner. Look at his skin at age 104. He looks pretty good. You know Giorgio Moroder. My name is Giovanni Giorgio. Buongiorno. Buongiorno.

He uses witch hazel. Witch hazel? Who's witch hazel? I use Dickinson's witch hazel. Can you tell? Me too. Do you like it? I like the rose water flavor.

Is it Dickinson's? Yeah. Okay. Is it good for your... I don't know. It's probably actually not good for me because I have really dry skin. And I think it dries you out more. But I just like the way it feels.

I found that it gives me a good pH balance. I think toner is actually kind of stupid unless you have oily skin. I've heard you use it to, like if you wash your face and you use toner, it's supposed to help get rid of any residue of soap you didn't get washed off. But that's dumb. Yeah. But it feels good. I use toner before I go to bed.

Interesting. I'll just go ahead and tell everybody my skincare. You got a skincare routine. Yeah, I guess. Just your standard. You do have nice skin. Am I glowing? You got good skin.

I will admit. You have fewer wrinkles on your forehead than I do. Well, let me tell you something. I used to have tons of wrinkles on my forehead, but let me tell you the secret. Seaweed night cream by Mario Badescu. Interesting. I've seen people use that. Do you import it?

Is it expensive? It ain't cheap, but you don't have to use a whole lot. Like, a little goes a long way. See, if I have some kind of product, I just want to slather it. Yeah. Slather it. You got to resist that temptation.

It's like having a nice bottle of scotch and then wanting to... Like, down it. Down it in one evening. Which I've definitely done. So you get a nickname. With your husband. Oh, God. Not in years.

Speaking of Matt, were you aware that on Thursday evening, this man was racing down Main Street? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Foot race. They were having foot races on main street like one in the morning yeah i was that got revived i guess um that that used to happen that happened more before my time it happened a couple of times when i was around right no yeah he told me and um it will tell his age but he i think has pretty much been sore yeah no he's been so uh we went on a hike sunday sore legs yeah

he was like i'm still sore from that daddy who was racing matt kevin i don't want to give their names away just in case the cops hear this and there you get arrested for for running what would that be jaywalking like what? Would that be running in the street? Is that illegal? Is that? I don't know. Unless you're not on a sidewalk or something. Is that bad?

Maybe they race back and forth across the crosswalk, so never mind. It's not even jaywalking. Yeah. And maybe a bartender, because he was mentioning the youth of another person and how much it makes a world of difference. One of the bartenders at Summit, I don't remember her name, and Kevin and there was a mysterious fourth person. Kevin, for a man that, as far as I can tell,

subsists off getting a stout tall boys, is surprisingly agile and athletic. He's fast. He is. He's a hell of a skateboarder. And confident. Well, that's part of it. You've got to be not afraid to break an arm. Well, and if you're skateboarding, then that's definitely

part of your persona. You're not afraid to get hurt. Everybody went through this stage where they were like, gonna skate when we were all in high school. I had a boy that I wanted to They were like going to skate when we were all in high school, you know. And I had a boy that I wanted to date, and he skated.

So therefore, there I was trying to do it. And my brother-in-law, who really does skate a lot, my sister too, but my brother-in-law was just like, you just can't be afraid to fall. Like I'm super afraid to fall. I really, really don't want to get hurt. So I realized I would never be good at it. That sucks. Falling? Like on asphalt or concrete?

Falling sucks ass. Good God. I get this physical reaction when I see just even a video of somebody falling on concrete. Like I feel this like shudder. Oh, yeah. I hate it. This is terrible. So fun to watch though.

No, no, it's not. It hurts me. Maybe it's just funny when people hit their nuts on the rail. That's fun. That's fun to watch. That's fun to watch. I agree. Yeah, the funny injuries are funny.

So I'm scrolling back through my text messages because I wanted to see who the other person was. All I keep seeing is from Friday night and Saturday morning. Ow, my legs are still hurt. Makes my legs extra sore. Yeah. That's so funny. He was telling me about who it was.

Yeah. Like a great deal of our men talking to, because I wasn't at home, and I was at my parents, and he was telling me. Saturday morning, he's going to get so mad That I'm reading out his book Yeah It's okay My legs are still so sore

We're I'm in horrible shape But I guess I'm fast Because the thing is I think he won Except for the young Yeah Well

God that's so funny He'll forever be immortalized And our podcast is except for the young bartender. Well, uh... God, that's so funny. He'll forever be immortalized in our podcast as a third place. I bet he came in third place. What do you think? No, no, Matt. Did he come in second place?

No, he came in, yeah, first or second or something. Where the hell? Damn, here I am just hating on his ass. I know, he really will get mad at me for it. When you're a kid, though, you just really don't give a shit about falling as much as you do when you're an adult.

Because a broken arm could really fuck my program up for a good... Oh, man. It was Thursday night. Right, it was Thursday night. I got a request over on the request line. I think maybe we should have a subtle soundtrack to talk over. Okay, go for it.

What do you want to hear? I'd like to hear the Midnight Express soundtrack, which is done by Giorgio Moroder, and is a favorite of mine. The movie and the soundtrack. I am pretty sore. Speaking of... Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Hold on Speaking of He just says it so much Yeah no Yeah Yeah It's kind of pathetic To get in your early 30s

It really is though It's such a fast transition From able bodied To unable bodied Unless you're like You know LeBron James I guess it's no secret I'm back in the gym.

You are? Well, kinda. It hurts so bad. Speaking of not being afraid to fall, did y'all see it's kind of like a cliche at this point, but did y'all see the thing about the woman

who was American citizen, but she also had a Hungarian citizenship, and she was just a sort of subpar skier, and she just... Don't talk about my girlfriend in that one. She didn't do any tricks or anything. She just went up each side of it. Y'all didn't see this? And she meddled? Yeah, no, she didn't even meddle. She didn't even do any tricks or anything. She just went up each side of it. Y'all didn't see this?

She medaled? Yeah. No, she didn't even meddle. She didn't even do any tricks. Her dream was always being in the Olympics. Oh, I did see this. She used her Hungarian citizenship to be in some ski competition. I don't know what the event was.

Did she also compete for the Americans? No. I think she just competed for Hungary. Her name was something Marion King. I think she just competed for Hungary. Her name was Marion, something Marion King, I think. Interesting. But Summer,

I think her name was Summer Marion King. I don't know how I remember that. But, but she didn't do anything. She would just go up one side and then just go up the other side

and then just go up the other side. And then that's what she, that's what she did on the Olympics in front of millions of millions of people. Yeah,

she thought it was hilarious. I can appreciate that a lot. Yeah. I mean, a lot of... How did she qualify, though? Like, don't you have to qualify to be in the Olympics? If that's all you're doing, how are you winning a competition to be able to compete in the Olympics? Damn, I don't know.

Perhaps maybe, like, every country maybe every country has a requirement. Oh, yeah. The Olympics police come to your country and say, give us one of your... Listen here, Hungarians. You can't produce me a snowboarder. Give us your best. It's not negotiable.

Right. You're out. Wow. That's how the World Bank basically works, but with, like, poverty. Maybe they should just make... Maybe after... Maybe the next fucked up stage of human development will just be, like, another that type situation where, like, a larger power just comes to where you live and says, all right, well, you have to compete.

This is the Hunger Games, damn. I'm plagiarizing a young adult novel. If you're gonna keep pitching these movies, you gotta start watching some of them. Fuck. But that, I mean, yeah. Wait, yeah. It's just pretty real, though.

Yeah. My cousin Peyton pitched me this whole idea. He was like, man, I'm going to write this novel. And it's about this guy that goes to work one day. And then his wife leaves. And then she murders this guy and does all this crazy shit. And I was was like gone girl he goes what's that yeah that movie like they they fooled me three or four times

there were like three surprise endings in that movie yeah have y'all ever seen homeward bound yeah did y'all ever watch that one dog movie i mean it's like a dog yeah me and me and Louise were joking the other night because we watched it recently don't ask and I needed to revisit it I needed to recritic this movie that was a foundational part of me but if you watch it like if you didn't know anything about the movie and you were and like someone had it on in the room and you were like blind floated or something you couldn't watch the screen all you could do is hear it you knew nothing about it you would think that the plot line is about a pederast an old man pedophile trying to fuck a little kid because like yeah because the old golden retriever is obsessed with the little boy yes

he's obsessed with him and he and he's and he's old as fuck and he's right he's like peter the way he says his name i have to get i have to find people oh god that's awful and he's like and sally field is in it yeah Yeah. Who voices the dog? The old dog I don't remember, but the young whippersnapper is Michael J. Fox. Oh, really? That theory... And that dog's insane. That movie might be responsible for the sort of notion that only girls could have cats and boys should have dogs.

It is a weirdly gendered movie. The girl owns a cat and the cat is a woman. It is a weirdly gendered movie. Like the girl owns a cat and the cat is a woman. It's like this princessy future cat. Right? They're like the personalities of the...

Which is even weirder because like if Shadow is supposed to be mirroring the personality of Peter... Say it right. Yeah. I don't know.

I don't know what that means. Does it mean that Peter is one day going to become a pederast as well? He's grooming him. See? That's a slow burn. We've ruined this movie for care. It took a minute for the gears to really start moving, but you know.

That was just kind of a good pun, too. It was the pun that got me. That's what it was. Oh, Jesus Christ. I did love that movie, though. Yeah, it's actually good. And I saw it not that long ago. I think I did always, though.

I was just always like, animals are not going to think. I know that there have been stories of dogs, like, traveling hundreds of miles to get back with their owner. But I just don't think that that's, well, it's not common. I think that happened one time, and there was a little thing called microchipping that allowed that. Right. Right? Well. Not to kill anybody's feel-good story.

Some animals have done that, but I also just think they had a great place to stay. They were staying on this neighbor, friend of the family's farm. It was this beautiful farm. It was all because of Shadow. I just want...

It was literally because Shadow was like, we've got to get back to peter and also a cat would never follow those dogs would never be like yeah the dogs are right a cat would be like fuck you guys i'm gonna stay here and catch all these wild birds well see chances chances um story was that he came from the streets basically remember right and he was like awfully needy to be from the streets yeah there's some holes in his story true i think he was a poser yeah for sure yeah he had like a friend who was i don't know if you really if you start to get any okay here's one so my friends and i

did this in college he my friend was a like a film major major and he took all kinds of weird film classes and then we would get us watching movies and we'd talk about him and stuff. But he made us watch the original, like the Winnie the Pooh movie, which I was like my like little tiny baby movie that I watched a lot. Like I remember watching it a lot. That was what I wanted to watch over and over again. And we watched it. Have you seen that as an adult?

No. I'll tell you what that's about. A crack addict. Really? Winnie the Pooh is addicted to honey. But it's like, it is debilitating. It's a visceral addiction. Yes, yes.

It's all he thinks about and it's all he does and it makes him an asshole to his friends. Rabbit is like a... Hold on one second. Is it possible Winnie the Pooh has diabetes? Can that account for his asshole behavior and his mood swings? It's not so much that he's

like... He's like, I have to have honey. Where's my honey? But also, he could be a petterass because he is obsessed with that boy christopher robin oh yeah i'm sorry i'm sorry carry on this is but see but to me though winnie the pooh and christopher robin i think come off as like a similar age and and really chris they're both they're fairly adult was that the kid's name christopher robin christopher robin yeah i never

he's a bitch made as they come i'm gonna honest, I was never really into Winnie the Pooh. Oh yeah, it was a big deal for me. So watching it as a three or four year old and a bunch, and then watching it as a 22 year old for the first time again, it was really strange. It was one of those feelings where I was like, holy shit, like it. I appreciated Eeyore.

I liked that he was very chill. Eeyore is a manic depressive. Yeah, I could relate to Eeyore a lot Eeyore is like really depressed Like needs to be In a psych ward Sounds like they all do Oh it's so messed up

I'm not even kidding Is it twisted? It's kind of twisted Is it one of those things where like You're not locked in here with me Or wait I'm not where, like, you're not locked in here with me? Or wait, I'm not locked in here with you. You're locked in here with me. Is it an insane asylum?

Is that the whole metaphor? Possibly. But, you know, like, what does it say about Christopher Robin that these are all of his white friends? And this is his imaginary world. But, like, Winnie the Pooh is a crack. Is, like, addicted. It has a major addiction. Piglet is so anxious.

It can't function. I don't major addiction piglet is so anxious it can't function i don't know what you don't need any psychology degrees no piglet never had a father oh man piglet yeah piglet is just i just want to hold piglet and cry like it makes me really sad and then eeyore is majorly depressed rabbit is this curmudgeonly old cranky character who's an asshole to everybody and like winnie the pooh's an addict right i get it an addict is coming to your house trying to like steal your money steal your pills out of your medicine cabinet your honey in this case but like do better about like not letting i don't know anyway how did rabbits an enabler okay all right but but it's really resentful But is really resentful about it. Really resentful about it.

And then Tigger, right? Okay, so they all... Speed. Tigger's gotta be on speed, right? I'm not joking. Tigger is fucking normal. Oh, really? Tigger is normal.

And Tigger comes around and they're all like, fuck that guy. They take Tigger out in the woods and leave him because they hate him so much. Fuck. Yes, watch it. It's's crazy they hate him because he's normal because he's not crazy like he's fun yeah he's like having a good time he's like come on guys what's up let's hang out and they're all just like right it's kind of like with their own shit and they can't handle it and

they like hate tigger and they i'm not kidding they all they go on this journey and they take him to the middle of the woods and they leave him. And it's about Tigger finding his way back. Fuck! Yeah, yeah. Why do we do that still? It's a journey. And it troubled me.

The concept of exile, why did they do it? Were they punishing him for something? Yeah, just, again, for being fairly normal. Being fairly normal. I i mean he's kind of annoying right but he doesn't have like a debilitating mental illness right that's curveball my money was on speed freak no that's just it like you like when you're kidding you're just like whoa ticker's out of control but you're watching you're like no i mean he's just he's just like trying have a good time. Not with fucking crack honey

and not with, you know. What if horrible addiction compelled people to use very normal things? Like not opioids or cocaine or heroin or what have you. What if people were just like hooked on

like pork rinds? I'd say they are. I mean, but you know, like, very... Very specific. Very specific. Yeah. Like, just normal foods. Okay, alright.

I see what you're saying. Like, addicted to rice. Like, I'm, yeah, debilitatingly addicted to cucumber. I went to school with this kid named Jude. Jude White. And he was really into the rolls you got for dinner, for lunch. Yeah. On your lunch tray.

So much so that he would barter damn near everything else on his tray and come away with five to six dinner rolls. That's how you did it. If I could live on dinner rolls, I'd fucking do it. I could eat a whole tray of Sister Schubert's rolls. Goddamn delicious.

Man, those are good. Those little Parker House yeast rolls. Yeah, those are good. When's the last time you had a school lunch? You think it'd be weird if we went and had a school lunch one day? It would. Yeah, it'd be real weird. Yeah.

Yep. Police would probably ask i taught it uh when i taught briefly i was like sometimes i'd bring my lunch but sometimes i'd go in and be like hell yeah it's pizza day that's that rectangle pizza it's as good as it ever was it's is it still does it hold up i up? I guess so. And they'd have brownies and shit. I've talked about this before, but I've definitely ruined for the rest of my life my digestive tract with the Allsips Gut Grenade or Gut Bomb Burrito,

which they gave us in the school lunch lines. It's the most unhealthy it's literally a deep fried burrito I come bearing a message of hope today I met somebody with Barrett's esophagus last night that doesn't have Barrett's esophagus anymore so you can you think I can make it?

you can turn it around you think I can turn it around? it's not too late you have Barrett's esophagus? yeah what is that? basically Terrence's feeble stomach has now become his esophagus, too, and narrowed. Oh, yeah.

It's just a lot of blockage right here. Oh, no. I guess blockage wouldn't really be the best word for it. I don't know how you would say. Is it similar to reflux? It's the effect of years of reflux? Is it acid? It's the effect of years of reflux. Unfettered.

Yeah, right. Honestly though, it's funny. I've mostly brought it on myself. You know, just drinking a lot. Doing drugs. Stress does it. Schubert rolls. I've been stressed since I was a little kid. I just threw that in there. What's a Schubert roll?. Schubert rolls. See, I feel like... I've been stressed since I was a little kid, so I just threw that in there. Maybe if you ate more of those.

It'd be tough. What's a Schubert roll? Sister Schubert's. Yeast rolls. They're in the freezer section. They're made right here in the bluegrass. Yeah, they're the most similar thing to what my grandmother would make for dinner rolls. Oh, nice.

So I like to eat them. Yeah. Yeah. That sucks. Health problems, man. yeah that sucks health problems man well it's funny to think that like um you know do you ever just think about like all of your health problems like it's funny when you get a new health problem and you're the old one that hasn't gone away still there and you're like oh well this new one makes that old one not so bad anymore unless you got aids well but there might be

something worse than aids if you had aids i mean honestly they're making great strides yeah that's true if you got pink or you had a cancer your relationship to your aids would change yeah well and it's all about like what is plaguing me at this moment? Right. And also the fear of what are they doing to each other? What are, like, I have that. What are the AIDS and the cancer doing? They're just making love. Well, what are the, yeah, what are the, how are the health problems related, if at all? And are they exacerbating one another, or are they?

Offsetting in perfect balance. Yeah, I don't think that happens. I think it's a constant feedback loop because I think about my stomach issues a lot and heartburn, and then I get really stressed out about it, and that stress makes it worse. You know what I mean? Right.

Well, see, a lot of my stuff is all endocrine-related and hormonal-related and therefore reproductively related. So all of that works together, and they all just fuck me over all the time right and so that's in combination yeah you're right um have you heard about there being a new type of eating disorder no enlighten me there's like a new and i think the one of the

times i was on here before with like Tanya and talked about health stuff. I think I brought this up because I thought this was a thing. It's really a thing where you are so obsessed with like healthy eating that you have disordered eating. Like there was a story about some woman who, I think it was even on like the BBC Instagram. It was something, they were featuring somebody on one of the news things I look at. And she was like, she used to just like fix food to take a picture of and put on Instagram.

Right. You know, like make these, Pathological. Right, and by the time she was able to eat it, it was just like, it wasn't like as hot if it was something hot or it was, you know, anyway, like she wasn't concerned about eating it.

She was concerned about presenting it. Right. But like what I think I have developed is this problem of like, like the water here in Whitesburg. I get in this cycle of like stressing myself out because we can't drink the water, but we're showering in it. Yeah. I think about that too, Karen. And like what the fuck is that doing? And if I really think about it too much, I just want to like freak out. Well, here's what scares me about that too, Karen. What the fuck is that doing? And if I really think about it too much, I just want to freak out.

Well, here's what scares me about that water situation. I'm pretty open about it. I love to take a bath. Oh. I do. Baths are incredible. Yeah, I like baths.

It's out there. You have a buffet tub. I can't, here's the thing. You have the best tub to take a bath in. But unfortunately, it's all teased because I don't have a big enough Water heater So like yeah

I'll try to fill it up with hot water And it will always it will never get enough water In it before the water goes Like it's 1830 I have a real big pot if you'd like to borrow I have to boil water Yeah boil the water And then by the time you get all of it in there

Turn off all the lights in your cabin and just pretend that you live in the 1890s. Right, right. That would be nice. I should get syphilis, a handgun. I'll get addicted to laudanum or opium. You'll die of cholera. Your eyes will go bad from eating my candlelight. So,

with the water, you like to take a bath. I like to take a bath and I've been reading a lot about something called tri-tetrahelomethanes, TTHMs, which are abundant in our water supply.

And they get more toxic if you heat them up. If you heat them up. So I've been thinking all those years of me just You're stewing in cancer. Just sitting there stewing and then I'm going to end up fucking with... Oh, I know.

I can't. It really freaks me out. We went on this whole quest to get the right kind of water cooler thing because buying those big... Or using the jugs through the Lawson's water or whatever. They have BPA in those plastic. Yeah, right. But we finally found the ones you can recycle. They're BPA-free, whatever.

But that was freaking me out because Bpa is an endocrine disruptor so i'm like i'm just making my fucking thyroid worse yeah i don't anyway but there's that and then there's also like i have this weird problem with produce am i allowed to eat am i am i gonna die like i have right like bacteria and shit yeah i have this weird. Right, like bacteria and shit? Yeah, I have this weird, like this weird, and I'm, rationally, I don't like not eat produce, but I have this like panic feeling of like, why bother eating produce if it's all covered in chemicals and pesticides and stuff? And I can't, you know, if I can't afford to buy an organic avocado, am I going to die? Like it just makes me want to freak out.

And so I think I'm developing this weird eating disorder because I can't eat healthy enough. Are you taking pictures of your food? No, I don't do that. I don't think that's necessary. That can be a spectrum on the spectrum of this disorder. I'm just more, it's more like what it turns into is I stress myself out about it so much that I don't even end up eating healthy. Right. Because it's like, what's the point I do find that interesting though that um it has a I don't know isn't it interesting that like it's a disordered

eating with relation to this like idea that is very nebulous like what is healthy food anyways right I mean it's an entirely subjective thing but i would assume that it's maybe perhaps disordered in the sense that they're well it's what it is it's like it's common sense has just and i'm not and i don't want i feel like i should make a disclaimer that i don't want to downplay like oh yeah the other disordered eating we're talking about this in a purely scientific way and in this specific thing that it's like kind of coming to light with people because some people aren't even recognizing this as disordered eating. We're talking about this in a purely scientific way. And in this specific thing that is like kind of coming to light with people because some people aren't even recognizing this as disordered eating. And I'm not saying I am a disordered eater.

I just, again, the anxiety loop makes me go through this. But I think what gets to me is that it just like common sense with eating has gone out the window because, okay. So for instance, I have like, um, an autoimmune thyroid disorder. I have endometriosis. I have these things.

And when you start to read about them and like, what are some holistic ways that I could make this better for my body? I don't want to kill myself once a month because you know, I have all these other issues, you know? So you'd start reading about it and it's like, okay, if you have endometriosis, you should avoid this food reading about it and it's like okay if you have

endometriosis you should avoid this food and this food and this food eat lots of this and this and this if you have you know if you're hypothyroid or you have a thyroid problem you should avoid these foods and what it is is it tells you to avoid certain vegetables and certain fruits yeah go gluten-free which really i don't even really think you should do unless you have celiac or an actual gluten intolerance. Right. So people are obsessed with these diets. It's not even like a short-term diet or a crash diet.

It's like this lifestyle diet where you're actually omitting, like people who omit carbs completely from their diet, that's super unhealthy. Right. Unless you're, you know, unless there's a reason for it. So it's like this whole thing of like, okay, do I really need to make a list of fruits and vegetables I have to avoid along with processed food? Right. Because it leaves you eating like, if you look at like paleo, but you have any other

food allergies, you're like, you can eat like, I don't know, like steak and spinach. It's just like, it's like a ridiculously narrow amount right so i guess that's what i mean like people who maybe reach out for healthy alternatives to medicine or prescriptions or whatever to try to alleviate some of their health problems which we're all getting because we're being older and our environment is killing us right and like our environment is killing our food so much that we can't even eat foods that we deem healthy or have historically deemed healthy it is weird that um our relationship to food is just complicated yeah like in it should be a simple thing yes it's right uh what happened to the food pyramid we We should subsist off honey. Like Winnie the Pooh.

That's where we were going with this. I see. Which, according to our friend Jonathan Hoopman, is B-shit. That's tight. I'm totally cool with that. It's B-shit? It's like the easiest sugar to digest. Really? Yeah.

It's like lower on the glycemic index or whatever. Honey is the shit. I mean, not knocking Winnie the Pooh, but my man's probably got a hand. His issue is not actually honey. It is a metaphor for many other things. I'm just saying. Honey's not the issue. No, honey's not the issue.

Cuts deeper than that. It's the addiction, yeah. But anyway, I drive myself crazy because I read way too much stuff on the internet. Oh, I do too, but the stuff I read on the internet is mostly Unsolved Mysteries. Oh, yeah. I haven't been watching that.

I wanted to. I've been watching Emergency Room. I can't go there. As a hypochondriac, cannot go there. Check out this shit I was reading before I came over here. I read this really long article in Vanity Fair from like three or four years ago. I think it was like 2013, actually. This guy who worked in the oil and gas industry in Beaumont, Texas.

Well, actually, he lived in Louisiana, but he would work in beaumont texas so he would stay over in hotels a lot in beaumont well like one night while he was like just sitting on his bed in his hotel room just smoking cigarettes and watching like iron man 2 he suddenly got an intense pain like in his crotch and his body and he got up to walk outside the door and fell over dead well so there's these detectives that like came onto the scene and they just could not find a cause of death. The only thing that was wrong with him was there was a small laceration on his nutsack, on his scrotum.

He bled out. So the case went cold for like a year. They couldn't figure out. They could never find. The, I guess, medical examiner afterwards doing the autopsy said it looked like he had been crushed to death. Like it looked like someone had been in a car crash is basically what the medical. His internal organs? His internal organs were just all fucked up.

But externally he didn't look like that, right? No, externally he looked totally fine. Internally, he looked like he had been in a... Internally. Internally. Aliens. Internally, his heart was fucked up. His shit was just fucked up.

Yeah. So, like, a year later, his wife, you know, not satisfied necessarily fully with the whole he died of natural causes whatever which is what they eventually i think just ruled it as um or the yeah uh so she hired a special investigator like a private investigator to go check it out and so um he found out that there were, the night before, there was these electricians that had, like, stayed in the next room over. And they were all asking, they were all asking, or they were all acting like, oh, you know, like, is that person dead? Like, what happened?

Like, I don't know. They acted genuinely concerned. Well, you know know i love where this is going i mean i hate it for that guy but i love where this is going so so you know the this private investigator to make a long story short no no no no keep going i need the deets so this private investigator is looking into it he's like looking all over the room. He's looking for gunshot holes in the walls or anything like that. He comes to the conclusion that this laceration in this guy's nutsack was from a gunshot wound.

Wait a second. And so he was actually correct. The night before, those electricians were kind of fucked up and drunk, and one of them got out a 9mm Ruger and fired it off on accident, and it went through the wall and in through his nutsack and, like, up, whatever, into his body and, like like ricocheted off of his ribs like a pinball machine just fucking them all up and and he died basically immediately but they they like dabbed it over with like caulking or something to their end on their end

like that's how they like and i think it was like cheap i think they even used like dried toothpaste or something like that but no one noticed it at first because they weren't looking for that. My question is, how did the medical examiners miss a goddamn bullet in the guy? Yeah. They just did. I guess they just did. Would it really ricochet up your ribs? I guess.

Wouldn't it lodge itself in something? You're right I think what had happened was The medical examiner had no cause to look for a bullet And so he was He was expecting for Like a disease Yes something Natural pathological whatever

And so the body was cremated They couldn't exhume it later So the guys that shot him got off? No, they actually finally caught the guys. And they were, like, wracked with guilt. Or at least one of them was wracked with guilt. I guess you could charge them with manslaughter or something. But, I mean, it's not like they were, like, killed a guy.

I mean, it is kind of weird. It is weird. Honestly, aliens, though, right? Aliens. I'm sorry to disappoint you. I'll tell you what could have stopped all that is a good guy in the room with a guy with a gun. Oh, God.

What a sender. That could have shut that shit down. Yeah. That guy would still be alive today. Put it down, bro. Dude, if... No, man. That's what it shows you is that if that's the case,

everybody would be walking around with bullets in their nutsacks at all times because trying to stop a good guy with a... Never mind. This is... Incredible. Absolutely. I'm really sorry to disappoint you. I know you thought I was going towards aliens.

No, it's fascinating. I think I just still don't fully... You don't buy it. No, it's not that I don't buy it. I just would like to know more. There's no way that you can really perform that experiment with like ricocheting off ribs, you know? Yeah.

But that's amazing you know? Yeah. But I'm like, that's amazing to me. Yeah. But also, it makes sense that if your mind already has made up about something though, it's definitely clouds

how you are going to look for answers. Mm-hmm. You know, so if you're like, I don't know. Why would anybody think that the guy was shot? Here's a weird unsolved mystery from this week.

Happened just this week. There was a guy who was skiing in New York and went missing for a week and turned up in Sacramento and had no recollection of how he got there. You're kidding. Is this new? This just happened. Hot off the press, huh?

Hot off the press. I'll find you the goddamn article. I want to read about that. Speaking of skiing, you ever just, you know you're home, you're making eggs in the morning, you have a random thought.

The other day I was making eggs and you mentioned skiing. Made me think of this. You reckon Sonny Bono had a big ol' hog? I was making eggs, and you mentioned skiing. It made me think of this, but... You reckon Sonny Bono had a big ol' hog? I mean, just hung like a goddamn banyan. What makes you say that? Why do you ask that?

I don't know. I just feel like Sonny Bono would... I mean, the squire abroad like Cher. Yeah, I bet it was... Yeah. I bet it was... There are conspiracy theories that he didn't actually die oh i love that oh i love no no not not not that he didn't die sorry i should finish my thought sonny bono go and live in the trees he just scurried up there like a squirrel no i um there are people who think that he didn't die the way they said he did because he was like an expert skier apparently

like he never been in any kind of like accident or anything like that it's suspect to some people i'm anyways i enjoy that i enjoy that when people are just like, mm-mm. Like Elvis. My sister and my brother-in-law really love conspiracy theories. Elvis is alive for sure. Well, no, he just died. He was alive. But he actually just died. He did finally die. Okay, go on.

He just was kind of like, you know, Elvis was alive, but he died. He was living as a homeless man in California. So people have kind of accepted it now that Elvis is regardless. Well, they found a dead homeless guy, and they're like, oh, it's Elvis. Wow. That's all I got. I got no details on that. I just, on things like that, I don't really want to know facts.

I don't want to know facts. I just want to be like. I'm going to need you to do a little poking just want to be like... I'll work on it. I'll get up. Here you go. On February 7th, Constantinos Danny Filippidis was reported missing after he disappeared from a ski trip to Whiteface Mountain in upstate New York. What the fuck?

I mean, I guess it's like snow. Oh, white. What's the place called? White Face Man. Oddly, his car was still in the parking lot and all his belongings were intact at the ski lodge. Department of Environmental Conservation Forest Rangers, New York State Police,

and resort staff headed up the search that grew to... Basically, a lot of people were searching for this guy. Until he turned up in Sacramento this Tuesday, alive and unharmed, six days after going missing. Sacramento County Sheriff's deputies found Filippidis around

9.30 a.m. Tuesday morning by the car rental zone at Sacramento International Airport. He was wearing the same clothes he wore when he went missing, had a credit card and $1,000 in cash, did not know where he was, or, and remembered very little about the previous few days. He said he thought he had sustained

a head injury of some sort, and that he had made his way across the country in a quote, big rig, quote, before being dropped off by a quote, McDonald's near a tall building, quote, Monday night. My man was in a big rig.

I like that. How would you feel about your life if there were days that you don't remember like that dude i there are i mean not like we got on a bender and partied two or three days and the details are fuzzy i mean like comments like on that one time like you wake up at a goddamn car rental in sacramento i don't know how you got there hold on let me read that comment does this scare the shit out of anybody else is reality that fragile everything is going fine and then one day bam you're in sacramento um i think that this is a case of uh wait sorry i feel like there is a case of...

This dude definitely just went for a fucking bender and made up an elaborate excuse so his wife wouldn't kill him. Either that or textbook fugue state. Dude, I love the people who argue in the comments section about what the definition of Occam's razor is. Oh, God. You'll always find that in a comment section it was a joke doesn't that just never mind uh I think it's a gotta be like this this associative fugue

right like that David Lynch movie Lost Highway oh yeah yeah yeah I mean it's he probably didn't if he was skiing he probably didn't have a head injury. I don't know. Yeah, he probably just bumped his head and, like, wow, I don't know. Yeah. I don't know. I have no clue. Like, what if he, I don't know what the geography is like near that mountain.

Are you really yourself? Maybe he's at the bottom of a mountain and near a road and a guy picked him up. Do you maintain the basic aspects of your personality when you're in a state like that? I don't know. Are you basically you?

You just don't remember? Or are you completely different? I don't know. And also, would you, like you wouldn't be like, oh, this is my name. What is your,

yeah, what is your, what if you got in a car with somebody and you were like, I really don't know what happened. My head hurts. Why wouldn't they take you to the hospital? What if you got in a car with somebody and you were like, I really don't know what happened. My head hurts. Why wouldn't they take you to the hospital? What if you got in a car with somebody and they turned Toby Keith on and you were like, oh, this is great.

And you're like, wait, I don't remember liking Toby Keith before. I'm going to ride this show now. How do you like me now? Maybe that song is about disassociative fugue. That song, How Do you like me now? I'm on my way to Sacramento. I want to talk about me. I want to talk about me.

Yeah. The big red guy that picked him up is trying to tell him about his life, but then the guy's just like, no. I want to talk about me. Exactly. It's a story of disassociated fugue That's a common theme running throughout Toby Keith's work

Oh shit Has anybody did more USO tours than Toby Keith? Um Which you all can think of I don't want him to be the winner of anything Like the number one anything Well this one Oh yeah I don't want him to be the winner of anything. Like the number one anything. I hope somebody has.

Oh, yeah. I would say he probably performs for the troops more than anybody else. In the great irony of Mr. We'll Put a Boot in Your Ass the American Way, Toby Keith has probably performed in Afghanistan more than any other recording artist ever. Man, these are fascist times but we really forget how fascist those times were. Toby Keith was number one on the goddamn

charts. I don't know that, but he was close. He was very popular. Yeah. He was um Ugh man. The Pentagon was running straight up propaganda. Actually, I don't know if that's true either,

but that just sounds like something you would say about that era if we were in a movie. When people ask you about the Bush era, when your kids ask you about the Bush era. The Pentagon was printing propaganda. Listen, man. They never talk about the fucking plan to hit the Pentagon. Yeah.

They never talk about Philadelphia. No, I think Bob Hope had to have done the most. He was so trash. Bob Hope, didn't he die in a mysterious way? Let's see. No, am I getting him confused? I think he was probably just like 92. Did you know his name was Leslie Townes Hope?

Huh. Nicknamed Bob. Wow. I know that there was a lot of Bob Hope comics in the 70s. He was 100 years old. He died July 27, 2003 at 100. You're right. I didn't realize this.

Wow. Some people called him Les. Oh, my God. Les Hope. Robert Hope is what I would have guessed this. Wow. Some people called him Les. Oh, my God. Les Hope. Robert Hope is what I would have guessed. Homeward Bound. Me too. You know, Homeward Bound could be remade.

Maybe, perhaps, Shadow was in a disassociative fugue, and that's why. I see what, okay, so he, five years before he died, a prepared obituary written by the AP was inadvertently released, resulting in his death being announced on the floor of the U.S. House of Representatives. But he was fine. And then he... Bob Hope? Yeah.

And then he died of pneumonia five years later. So maybe that's what you're thinking of. Damn. It's basically like what we were talking about earlier, how they were like, this is Harry Belafonte's last public performance. We may not appear in public again. Surely he'll succumb. Who knows? Maybe Harry Belafonte released that press release before,

which is a really crazy press release. He's hedging his bets. Hey, this might be my last. This could be. I don't know. This is kind of funny, though. It says on here that his grandson told a TV interviewer that on his deathbed when his wife asked where he wanted to be buried, he said, surprise me. That's cute.

I like that. All right. Bob Hope. I was thinking of somebody else. Leslie. Leslie Towns Hope. Oh, Leslie Towns Hope. Less. Leslie. Leslie Townsend. Oh, Leslie Townsend. Les.

Forever calling that name. Wow. Sounds like a up-and-coming country music starlet. Yeah, I quit looking at the USO tour, though. I just decided that I want Bob Hope to have done the most. Wow, we really went from Toby Keith to, or we went from, what's his name? Missing Skier. Danny Filippidis, all the way to Toby Keith in just half a second.

It's like that game me and Tom like to play sometimes where you pick two things on Wikipedia and you have to get to the other thing in five moves or less. We'll play that game sometime. We should call it, like, Remember that show, Name That Tune? See, I know you don't like games, but you like made-up games.

That's true, I do. Let's have a made-up game. I like made-up games. Yeah, let's make up games. And I want to play that particular game sometime. We could go somewhere with that. That's fun. Yeah, it's like, what, six degrees of separation kind of thing.

Yeah. Pretty much. Yeah. I just... There's also... I think I remember playing that one in my early 20s as it related to drinking. Sure.

Everything was a drinking game. Everything was a drinking game. I have no tolerance anymore Same here I hate drinking I don't even want to tell you this I know This is a teetotal podcast

Yeah We're sober Well we do drugs That's true Some drugs That's true Only the cool ones Only the cool drugs

I drink every now and then But it's very rare I like a beer But like more than a beer I just Only the cool ones. Only the cool drugs. I drink every now and then, but it's very rare. I like a beer, but more than a beer, I just... What I find so fascinating, the only interesting aspect of Donald Trump's personality is that he doesn't drink. Yeah. That's literally the only...

Let's talk about that for a second. I would love to talk about that. That's literally the only interesting part. I think that it's because he knows he will get caught in some way. Like, I think he knows the power of alcohol. He likes to always be in control. You think so? Yeah.

You think he's got that level of, like, internal governance? Well, it's like, I think he knows that if he has any alcohol, he will say something that people will catch him saying. You know what I mean? He doesn't give a shit about. I mean, as a teetotaler, he has very poor impulse control. Exactly. So imagine if he drank.

Is that what happens when you stay sober? Maybe the guy needs to take a fucking drink. Evolution just speeds up and you just naturally have poor impulse control. He should probably do some kind of drug. Yeah. I'd say he did his fair share of cocaine in the 80s. Right. That's not cool.

I'm just. Cocaine's not cool. I assume they're all on it. I like cocaine. Well. I'm putting a harsh flag on this thing. You said I like cocaine. I like cocaine.

I'm just kidding. I don't if the I like coking. I like coking. I'm just kidding. I don't if the DEA is listening. I just, I think that like in general, it's like, meh,

maybe don't do it. Yeah, you're right. It's not good for you. No. It's not good for your heart. Well,

neither is his diet or anything that he, oh God, he is an anomaly, isn't he? He really is. He is. What is with that guy? I used to do a fair amount of cocaine in the early 2000s.

Now, if I drink two cups of coffee, I have heart palpitations. And I wonder, like, if I tried to do coke again at the ripe old age of 32, would I just have a coronary and that'd be it? You would think you were. You would have a panic attack and probably go to the hospital. I'm gonna fucking die. And they're like, sir, you just took too much cocaine. You just did too much cocaine.

You did too much of the cocaine. The cocaine. I think it's interesting it started out as like a pharmaceutical. Remember, Carrie, when we were hanging out at your house the other night listening to Buck Cherry? Sure. I love the cocaine. I love the cocaine. I remember that.

So we're getting taken noticeably different. What are you doing with this? Because I notice things are just playing. Are you actually recording things you're looking up? Like to edit later and throw in? Or are you just like playing them? I think we're just... I don't know what you're doing Because things have been playing

But there's no sound Oh yeah you can't hear it because you don't have headphones Me and Tom are in our own little world over here That's funny We're in our own little world over here No I don't I don't like hearing my own voice It's so funny I didn't even think of that We're like talking

We're talking on opposite sides of a veil me and tom got bug cherry lit up in the background it didn't even occur to me that you all have headphones yeah it's become so synonymous with my public image that i have to walk around with headphones at all time yeah i'm actually really happy I'm not listening to this What are you talking about? No it's okay Crank it up This song was 1999 I didn't remember this It's no Duncan Sheik

Yeah it's no Duncan Sheik that's true Did y'all go down that Duncan Sheik rabbit hole? There's just that one song. We were talking a few weeks ago about those 90s radio hits. Yeah. And that was the one that I always hear, and I'm like, man. Yeah. Takes you back.

It really does. It really does. How much time we got over here? That's one hour. Well, what do you think? You think we should keep shaking the bush? No, I'm going to go... Can I go take a piss real quick?

Go ahead and pee. And we'll wrap it up here in just a second. But first, I want to give you a Wikipedia taskipedia task okay before i go yeah yeah yeah yeah okay okay so uh you have to connect buck cherry with um you have to connect buck cherry with i guess it has to be sort of a reference that... Let me think about this. You have to connect Buck Cherry with Louis Napoleon by the time I get back in six moves.

I'll give you six moves. Louis Napoleon to Buck Cherry? Yeah. Oh, gosh. Okay, what's your strategy with this do you look them both okay okay let's see here what do you do do you like have them both do you look for them both Oh like yeah you we start with one i've never heard anyone refer to him as louis napoleon i was like what is that is this i'm gonna abandon it yeah what my god but really i feel like i need guidance so do you like bring up both wikis or do you just like keep trying to i start with one

and then you got to go like have so here so you do this sure and then you gotta go, like, have... So, here. So, you do this. Sure. And you see how there's, like, clickable links to other pages? Right. No, I mean, I get that. I guess I just wonder if you, like, try to work backwards, or... It's up to you. Take your own adventure.

Okay, okay. Fair enough. I think I'm gonna try to... Interesting. To go the Napoleon to Suez Canal to Buck Cherry. Wow. Okay. Huh.

Yeah, this is tough. This is fun, though. What a fun little... Ooh, this guy's name is French. Maybe that'll work. Five moves? As few moves as possible. Did he specify five moves?

I don't know. Is that what the point usually is? I didn't... I was... I think it's like just whoever gets there quicker. Okay. Hmm. That's a good soundtrack for this.

You can't hear this, but this is the one. Their other hit. I'm not mad I'm not hearing it. They're pretty terrible. It just went off, so. Stay gone longer. That was bad, I'm sorry. All I could think about while I was peeing was how bad it was.

I should have given you like Robert Sack or somebody. Okay, I'll just go ahead and tell you. One of my moves from Buckchurch to Napoleon is Suez Canal. Oh, great. I think I'm in a wormhole that I'm not going to be able to get out of. Did you do it? I did it. Oh, God.

That was so exciting. All right. Lay it on us, Carrie. Hit us with it. I don't really remember. I took a lot of steps. Let's see. I need to look at history, don't I, to be able to do this?

Yeah. Okay. This is kind of weird. Okay so from Buck Cherry I went to Kelly Lemieux who was the one of the band members.

Uh huh. To cancer. Wow. To victim blaming. Abusive power and control. Narcissism. Jean-Jacques Rousseau Oh damn The Pantheon

The burial place of Napoleon I can respect that Yeah that's good enough for me I'll take it I can respect that Buck Cherry to Napoleon How many moves? Let's see

1, 2, 3, two, three, four, five, six, seven. That's good. I dare anybody else to beat that. What did you get? How far did you get? I didn't connect it, but I was trying to find the pocket. What were you on? Here's what I was trying to do. I was trying to go

Napoleon, Suez Canal, some sort of Egyptian thing. Yeah. Like some sort of Egyptian thing. Like some sort of Egyptian artist, like a famous artist that might have collaborated with somebody. But I backtracked and went, I was going to go Napoleon to Victor Hugo, Victor Hugo to Les Miserables.

And then I was trying to find somebody that had been in the Les Miserables film adaptation that might have been real. Yeah, yeah. That was good. That's a good move, that's a good move. That's a good thing, I don't know. Damn.

Not nearly as exciting as cancer to victim blaming. Yeah, there was like this whole weird thing on the cancer Wikipedia page. The Cancer Wikipedia page is weird. I'm sure it's very large. It goes into a society and culture section of cancer. It's a lot. I actually don't recommend reading it. I'm a hypochondriac.

Can't go there. Question. Do you think that much in the same way you can connect anybody in the films to Kevin Bacon in seven moves or less, do you think you could connect any two Wikipedia pages in seven moves or less? I bet most. Because that was a crazy stretch. You mean any two?

Any two. Any two. Fuck. I bet most of them. Well. Like, you'd have a harder time with the ones that don't have a lot of information, of course.

Yeah. You know, that would be a struggle maybe. Yeah, you're limited by what's out there. Right, but I'd say a lot because that was,

that was, those are pretty far apart. That's as disparate as you get. Right. Well, you know, I don't know. I seem to remember something

called Ray's Law that might have something to say about this. Damn. Good job, guys. Good job. Thanks for teaching me a new game. I want to play that more. Let's play it all night.

Well done. There's a game on tonight. I know. You want to come over and watch the game? Yeah, we'll come over and watch the game. Not you all. We'll pre-game. But you all. We'll pre-game. But you guys.

We'll pre-game by. Playing. Yeah. By doing this. Sounds great. I was just in the bathroom. We can wrap it up. But I was just in the.

We can wrap it up here in a minute. But I was just in the bathroom and I was thinking about earlier I texted you. I said a funny. A fun prompt that i've been working working with lately is uh weird things you believe in your kid yeah and uh and i was thinking about um when i was a kid i never really understood how my brother looked like me and so i just assumed that like i thought my parents like scooped some of my pee out of the toilet or something.

I don't know what they would have done with that. I guess maybe my mom would have drank it in this theoretical. Sprinkled it on him when he was born. Why'd you think that? Why'd you think a little Terrence Redd pee pee made your brother? I think I understood the sort of, maybe I understood,

maybe it was the beginnings of. Maybe you knew that penises were involved. No, I think I. You didn't know how. I understood maybe it was the beginnings of Maybe you knew that penises were involved No, I think I You didn't know how I think what it was is like I sort of understood the basic idea of genetics but didn't really understand the mechanism through which that actually occurs

Oh, sure, that you had DNA in your pee Right, therefore my brothers also shared some of the same characteristics of my pee That is a strange thing that you believe when you were a kid. That fits the bill. Right?

What about you, Carrie? I just remember my siblings trying to I was the youngest, so they were trying to make me I remember them trying to get me to believe stupid things and i was like y'all are crazy like they tried to get me to eat weird shit and yeah they told me that like a watermelon would grow if i ate a seed and i was like and but i was

like actually i did believe that because i was like that sounds awesome so i ate seeds i was i was i was at that stage where I didn't want to eat. Just swallowing seeds. Where I was like, I'm not- The OG belly wine. Yeah. That's where she gets it from. That's where she gets it.

She gets it from her mama. I was like, if a watermelon grows in my stomach, I'll never have to eat again. It's just, my stomach will always be full. That's brilliant. That was my line of thinking. So I did actually believe that. I don't know why. I don't know why I believe that

you know that that B.B. King line nobody loves me but my mama and she might be jiving too I never could I never could be I never could wrap my mind around like this idea

like why is this person taking care of me you know what I mean right like i kind of like secretly thought she might have been like a robot or some sort of like non-human figure and how terrifying that was i thought about your mom yeah for a little bit your mom was a robot well not even that so much as i just had this weird memory of me watching edward scissorhands as a kid yeah and then thinking that my mom was like secretly this like kind of, not even malevolent weirdo, but just like this non-human, or I don't know.

That's interesting. I see what you're saying. It messed me up for a little bit. And I was kind of afraid of my mom for a little bit. Not like a reverential fear like, you know. Right, like she wasn't gonna hurt you, but you're just like, what is she? Yeah, that's right.

I wonder if that's probably how our cats regard us, maybe. Or dogs at least. Yeah. What if you're a cat? Me? Yeah. What if you are a cat? Another funny thing I believed was that

your nuts could get tangled around. Did you ever think of that? That actually can happen. That can happen? Testicular torsion. You can that your nuts could get tangled around. Did you ever think of that? That actually can't happen. That can't happen? Testicular torsion. You can get your nuts tangled up? Really? Yeah. And it is a medical emergency. There's not like a barrier between the two nuts?

Well, it's more interior. I thought each one was isolated. They could see each other and wave to each other. There was a clear glass. What are they like? I thought each one was isolated. They could see each other and wave to each other. Like, hi. But there was a clear glass. What are they like?

Epididymis? Epididymide? That's on the backside. Well, anyway, there's tissue. The vas deferens? They can get twisted. There's tissue. The vas deferens. That's the best.

Vas deferens. Announcing the Vaz Deverins. Ladies and gentlemen, the Vaz Deverins. That doesn't sound like how you would say that. Right. It looked like when you look at that word, you're like, that can't be right. The term. I mean, I guess it's too

well urethra yeah that one's good too also known as peel the p-hole um i think that's probably about um always gotta end with the pee-pee pooppoo-poo humor. Yeah. There was something. Now introducing Fast Daffron. The Vals Daffron. It's like a- That's the title. Yeah, he's like a care good. He's an actor on Saturday Night Live. It's the next new group.

The Vals Daffron. Ladies and gentlemen. Yeah. As a musical guest. Yeah. As a musical guest. Yeah. Oh, shit, shit, shit. I know there was one more. I wrote it down earlier.

What you believed as a kid? I got to write shit down. You don't understand. Oh, maybe you believe this one. But I used to think that behind every mirror in my house was like a surveillance camera of some sort. You still believe that.

Yeah, I'm still not persuaded that it's not. Yeah, you're right. Could you imagine what the first people that discovered mirrors thought about that shit? Yeah.

Did you ever read... Like, is there something on the other side? Yeah, or like some portal to another world or some shit. I mean, the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll was really interesting because it was like this whole story about there being another world. Right.

And I liked that. That was kind of cool. But I didn't actually think that. A world in which you like Toby Keith. What does Adam Curtis say? That guy got lost. Maybe he just went into the mirror world. Who? Oh, the mirror world Who?

Oh the Sacramento skier? Filippidis or whatever Danny Yeah that's what happened to Sonny Bono Damn He had a little peen on the other side Unfortunately Wow Big ol' hog in this world

He gets to the other side No No Okay Okay And that same thing Cher in Mirror World divorces him He lives to 102 in Mirror World

Yeah It's gonna cave in But that'd be cool That'd be tight That would be pretty cool I mean it'd be cool to cave in, but that'd be cool. That'd be tight. That would be pretty cool. I mean, it'd be cool to live through something like that. I wouldn't want to, but if you lived and it was all fine. What a story you could tell.

You could have a great story out of it. Could you, though? I don't know. I was just in Sacramento. Yeah. All right, guys. It's hour 17. Let's fucking put the k in Sacramento. Yeah. All right, guys. It's hour 17. Let's fucking put the kibosh on this.

All right. And let's go watch the Kentucky game. Hoo, hoo.