Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 395: Your Lucky Episode

Episode Date: June 5, 2025

Don't put it in your pocket

Let's see, I don't really know much about sex and Christianity, but if we open to chapters 13 Western Christendom established the achievements of the Gregorian Revolution were consolidated in a major council That's first I'm hearing of a Gregorian Revolution, right? And we say something I've known about does they have to do with sex What's what's the the? What's what's the the the Calendar and the chant got to do well, I think partially this book is about how a lot of Christians were doing gay sex All the time really. Yeah, that seems like why were they trying to throw everybody off the scent with?

The Romans and stuff like that when you When you try to? Well, I mean, perhaps. You know, in the story of Sodom and Gomorrah, the bisexuals were spared. Were spared, they were. A lot of people don't talk about that. The women who lay with men and with women.

Yeah, because their hearts weren't completely, weren't completely, weren't completely corrupted. That's a pretty funny, like rationalization on God's part. Which is another column, another strike in the column against biphobia being real. Even God wasn't biphobic and you'd think he would be. Uh-huh.

The cuckold world. We're all a cuckold world. We're all a cuckold world. America, particularly. Uh-huh, yeah. Lower than the angels. Now, something I was thinking about on the way here is, you know, there's a, in rap music, I was listening to the new clip song. Oh, yeah It's very good. Is it I saw push it. He came out against Kanye West. He did bravely

He also came out for Hillary Clinton. No, so Strikes and gutters. What did he say? Oh, he was he was like on Hillary's like street tape. What? Yeah, can you believe that? Like the coolest rapper out there what and he's just like we gotta get we gotta get it done for pantsuit now Pusher T. Yeah, I Always liked him though back because his big thing was prison reform and I think he made a classic liberal error and thinking that yeah Hillary was gonna close the prisons and not open Many more because he's got that line that we always talked about when we're doing the prison organizing Building prisons where the mountains is because he's from Virginia. Yes

Yeah, and he's referencing wise and Dickinson counties. We've probably met his friends. Thanks Oh, yeah, we just go over to wise and talk to hey you guys know push your tea. Push your tea. Y'all know What's his name is? Terrence Thornton he's It's Thornton his brother's gene Thornton. That's a really funny thing. I posted this thing on Twitter About this story in Upstate New York where,

what did I write? Did we already talk about this on the show? Where this woman had hit a deer in the snow, in a snowstorm and she went to talk to, she like went to go get help at a nearby house and instead of helping her they just called ICE on her and wound up deporting her husband and her kids. Anyways, I posted it on Twitter and I just had some like throw away comments or some stupid like most Christian nation in history

Plus you'd say wouldn't have condone this Said they're like comment. Yeah, so throw it come on like that and for some reason it got crossed over into like MAGA Twitter and They were convinced that my name wasn't real. Oh, was this when they were putting your name in quotes? I saw that. Yeah, they were doing Terrence in quotation marks. Terrence, if that's even your real name, Terrence. Yeah, they were like, you're next, quote unquote Terrence.

It's hard to know if they think you're some sort of ninth dimensional Psy-op or if they just think the camp man's a white guy named Terrence. Yeah. You know what I mean? Maybe that's what it is. They're like, a white Terrance. How would they know I'm white?

Go on. Because my Twitter obby is Luke Perry from 8 Seconds. Luke Perry from 8 Seconds? Is that what they think? I would say that's not making the Black Cannon. I'm in no position to speak on it, but that's just my hunch. 8 Seconds isn't in the Black Cannon. You know, I don't want to speak on it, but that's just my hunch. Eight seconds isn't enough.

I don't want to speak for my black friends, but I would surmise no. But hey, I don't want to jump to conclusions either though, because yeah. Yeah. Damn. So wait, Pusha T came out for Hillary. Pantsuit T, yeah.

Wow. He was big on Hillary. T came out for Hillary. Pantsuit T, yeah. Wow. He was big on Hillary. Pantsuit T. He was big on Hillary. Which is, hey listen, we're all entitled to a misstep, especially politically. I've got Sarah Falafel, you know what I mean? But.

I do too. I'm trying to think of some. I supported the Bosque separation, separate his front. Was that a misstep in your estimation? Yeah, and I not only supported but participated. You did. I did bombings. I killed some people.

Wearing a balaclava. And eating that burnt cheesecake. I was eating burnt cheesecake and killing people. Yeah. Huh. Think you know it, guy. That was eating burnt cheesecake and killing people. Yeah, yeah. Huh. I think you know it, guy. That's just a little regret I have. Yeah, well, you know.

I got a little too into the Quebecois separatist movement myself, you know. Is that real or is that just like a plot point in Infinite Just? Quebecois. Yeah. I think it's a real thing. I have to ask my friend May who's French Canadian.

Is that your whole thing real or? I thought it was just like a bit that Dave Foster Wallace did. Oh man, I don't know. So wait, so Pusha T came out and said Kanye is a narcissist. I think he said he's not a man. He's not a man.

He says, and listen, I know this feeling. You know this feeling when like, you know there's tension with you and something like, your perfect example is when you have a friend who has friends in other groups, but like you don't fuck with those friends in other groups, but you got put on a good face for them. Yeah, and it's like there's this understanding that like Okay. Mm-hmm. You know that that things aren't necessarily good between you and your friend or that things are like

You know when somebody's like smiling through the pain or like whatever Yeah, you know what I mean or like I guess I'm getting too far down the road here. Basically You see this phenomenon when mixing friend groups sometimes okay, because like you and me may be friends But me and your friend may not be friends. Yeah, luckily. I've always got along with all your friends Even the ones you've prefaced up front were assholes and I was like You're gonna hate this guy. Yeah, you're gonna hate this guy. I was like, I don't hate that guy at all. But yeah, but he said, yeah, he's like,

he's a genius so he can see that I'm being fake with him. That I don't fuck with him. That's a really weird thing to say about somebody. It's like basically it's a compliment, but it's also like. He's so perceptive that he could tell that I'd hate him secretly. I don't think Kanye is a genius actually. I think he is, you know, I think he's a musical genius,

but I think on par, if you're extrapolating that out further, I think you can be really good at something and just kind of be very deficient. You know, there's another place. I don't even think genius is real. I don't think it's a thing. No, I think it's something you just you get the reps in and you're good at something. Yeah. You know, I think that like history bestows upon certain people the mantle of being the

spokesperson of a generation the spokesperson of a generation or a talent of a generation or whatever. Generational talent. A generational talent. And that person can either accept it and walk into God's light or they can squander it. As Kanye has done. Like he.

Kanye has squandered his mantle. That's for sure. I just, I think that like, I don't know, the concept of genius is a little, it's really funny that he sees himself as a genius. So it's just like, okay, I say this as a musician, how can anybody really be a musical genius? Like, cause I say this as a musician because what I'm saying is that like, how can you be a genius at just like knowing what a good rhythm is?

That's just knowing how to move your ass. You just found it first or interpolated it from somewhere else. You're just a genius at moving your ass. I mean, I guess I get to see that. Some people probably. So you don't think you can be good at like, the way you can be good at like a sport. I think that on the scale of what we would consider like genius, like sports and music are just kind of like vibes. Yeah. So you don't believe in the polymath or?

Well. Or do you think the polymath is not necessarily genius but just somebody that's above average in many different fields? I think that some people can be really good at like abstract reasoning and therefore they could be really good at like physics or mathematics for example.

And like that's a certain skill or talent that like is so rare. Is what qualifies genius, it's rarity? Is that really it? Is that like not everybody has it? I guess so, I guess the thing that, yeah. Genius, if everybody was a genius then, the genius would cease to exist itself.

I think everybody is a genius on their own way. Yeah Everybody's got it. Maybe that is true. Maybe everybody's got a particular genius Uh-huh. You know some people are geniuses at ruining their lives some i'm Like some people are geniuses at um neurosis Uh, some people are geniuses at just being chill

Yeah, I want to get back to that genius and ruining your life thing real quick. I had a buddy that friend of ours send us His he got a DUI early this morning. It was dated as today, and I got this at seven o'clock It's like open container, all this stuff. At seven in the morning? At seven in the morning. Well, shortly before, I think he was booked around five a.m. this morning.

And I was just thinking to myself, what must my old friend be going through to be Joyride and open container style? It's one thing to like, I go to the bar and maybe I'm a drink over the limit and I got like a, you know. Yeah. A douche bag DUI, you know what I mean?

A douche bag DUI? Yeah. Yeah, like you try to fight a cop or something? No, just, you know, you just like, you barely got a DUI because maybe you just thought you were better off than, or maybe you were fine to drive but not legally. Yeah, no chance what you mean.

Joyride an open container. Presumably maybe on your way to work. It's summer. It's Thursday. It's summertime though. What are you doing on a Wednesday? Early Wednesday morning, open container drunk drive. It's because it's summertime, Tom.

The livin' is easy. That is true. Sum's like, the livin' is easy. That is true. Summertime in the livin' is easy. The sun comes out and you think you're invincible. I'll say, I texted my other buddy and sent it to me and I was like, man, like, what are you doing this like? I was like, I'm more surprised than anything that it's his first defense, because it's his first defense.

He said, I don't think that's right. I think that they just goes off your record after a certain period of time because that's definitely about his sixth. In the time we've known him, you know? So. I'm curious to know who this is, but I have some guesses. Some people are just,

another particular genius, drunk driving. Drunk genius at drunk driving. Yeah. If you can get cited six times. Kanye's a genius at the nitrous. That is true. Mm-hmm. Did you see you recut the song

from hell Hitler to hallelujah? I did see that, yeah. That's pretty, that's pretty tight. Man. Man, I think that song, I don't know about you, but it has to have been made by AI. It just sounds, like my radar for AI stuff is pretty good. Are you getting, are you?

I've got a pretty good radar for it. It does sound like a reasonable facsimile of a Kanye West song, but it doesn't seem like it's got that touch, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It does sound like a reasonable facsimile of a Kanye West song, but it doesn't seem like it's got that touch, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just have a feeling it's AI. What are the hallmarks to separate?

Like if you're out here, if you're AI detective, which could be an itch you could carve out. That would be good. Allegations guy, you got all the mileage you can out of that one. You need to set that on the back burner. You need to be the AI detector. Someone did call us out on the last episode

for not knowing the Guillermo Del Toro allegations. He has allegations? Yeah, dude. GDT. GDT. You wanna know him? You know I do. All right.

The first allegation is that he probably plagiarized the shape of water from salt. Oh, not sex allegations. Okay, he does have a sex allegation though. Here's the sex allegation. So he's got allegations in multiple. Here's the sex allegation. He didn't wear a Time's Up pin to the BAFTA Awards in 2018. Then he came under fire for that.

He did. He did. Sometimes. So what, did they think he was signalling support for Harvey Weinstein with that? I don't know. I just think it's the funniest allegation to have. He didn't wear a pin on his head. If you had to have allegations,

that's an, I could live with that one, you know said he said he didn't because he was jetlagged and tired He forgot that's reasonable It's probably true. Yeah, it's probably It's probably the last thing I'm thinking for I'm going to an award ceremony. It's probably oh wait. I have my Time's up here and time's up here. No, Or you probably said it in the cab on the way over, you said, fuck. Now I'm gonna get an allegations tab. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Exactly. Okay. Yeah. Now, okay, back to your question.

How do you differentiate AI from a real person? This is a great question because it gets into, like, how do we even define a person? Like how would you define a human being like For example, like take a person like Alyssa slotkin or Elon Musk. Oh are those human being? borderline Questionable. Yeah, we're getting into some workingie Gray territory, which is like, you know, AI is its own separate thing, but like, I guess the best way for me to describe what I would initially recognize as AI,

and this counts for writing, this counts for music, and it also counts for visual. It doesn't quite count for visual, because visual AI, you counts for music, and it also counts for visual. It doesn't quite count for visual because visual AI products are a little unique in the sense that they look like they were created by, they look like something you would encounter in a dream, and I don't mean in a good way, they kind of makes you queasy.

One of those weird dreams where it's not particularly a nightmare, but things are just a little weird. Things are weird. Like you, when I was a kid, I was plagued with the idea that my mom was like one of the they live kind of people. But like she was a robot underneath it. Yeah. And like, there was a RIP with my mother,

but there was about a year of my childhood I didn't believe she was who she said she was. And I went to bed like terrified every night. Damn, I used to have this recurring dream when I was a kid that my mom got trapped in the refrigerator. Really? Yeah. Even though you would see her during the day

and see that she was not in fact. Yeah, but she'd be trapped in the fridge and she'd be cold. I just didn't want to be cold. I just didn't want to be cold, but I couldn't get around. She's good chilled. You were powerless to separate. I was powerless.

The little magnetic strip. Yes. That is how it goes in dreams sometimes. It does like things you could do in real life easily seem like pulling, pushing a bull. Okay, that's actually a great question. That's actually a great point because even dreams have a kind of like a logic to them.

It's a dream logic, but there are themes that are resonant whereas like a AI produced visual product is gonna have a set of themes that are pretty inconsistent and So that gets it kind of like what is the hallmark of AI to me the centers an AI logic There is an AI logic to me that hallmark of it is it's clearly aping something saying there's an AI logic. There is an AI logic. To me the hallmark of it is it's clearly aping something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a interpolation of something in real life. Which humans do all the time like, you know, we sample songs or... Well, that's what that's that's funny

you say that because that's an argument that comes up a lot of times in the pro-AI camp when they say well that would have precluded the rise of hip-hop because when hip-hop came out everybody said that sampling was cheating and all this stuff and then Look what that became. Uh-huh. That's a it still required a human hand and human skill I guess it's true. Maybe that's not a good definition then because a lot of writers will obviously ape other writers. So it's like, so that's not quite a good definition then. I think that it's the first piece I ever got, you know, solicited to write.

It was about, it's so funny. I don't even know if anybody picked up on this, but it was that piece from the Mountain Eagle by Jim Webb. Yeah. And I opened it up. I just took David Foster Wallace on Roger Federer and just changed the names and places.

It's so embarrassing. I was reading that and then the dad's like. Okay. Okay. Then I think I figured it out. I think it's when it's aping something, but it's very obviously following a set of rules, which humans very rarely do, believe it or not.

Like humans, when they're copying other writers, musicians or whatever, they're usually not trying to cram it into a rubric or framework of conventions, they're using the previous source material to create their own kind of set of conventions and rules. Whereas an AI does the opposite, it takes a previous source and tries to cram it into a set of conventions and rules and that's why it always seems very stilted and

just kind of Disembodied eerie. It's like it sounds Sort of like something, you know But at the same time because it's so rigidly adhering to like syntax and diction and all these things it Creates this kind of feeling that it's like, it's human-like. I think that's maybe the whole, but I'm also.

They, I think they also over-correct on the sheen. Because in real life stuff has patina, stuff withers, stuff dies. Right. But AI always keeps that sheen. It has no fear of death. It's like too slick, you know what I mean? Yeah.

It's like. You're right, it has no, listen to something, if it sounds immortal, which I guess all art is to a certain extent, that is why we make art. That's really it, because we make art because we're mortal. And we want something to outlast us. That's why AI art can't really work,

because they have no fear of mortality. There is no death. There is. That's another terrifying prospect. Yeah, because they just keep living on, they have no reason to make art. They don't care if anything outlasts them or not. That's true reason to make art. They don't care if anything outlasts them or not. That's true, humans make art

in a way to procure immortality. The AI is immortal already, so it's obviously gonna be vulgar because, for that very reason, because it will never have to face death. I mean, we could just kill it off, and I think we should. Did you see that thing where in Trump's big beautiful bill,

they banned all regulation of AI? You said that in the group chat. That is the most disconcerting thing. I mean, there's, I think I've used the phrase, this is the most disconcerting thing I've ever heard every week, but there was something about that it was particularly sinister to me. They banned they made it illegal for any state to try to regulate AI over the next 10 years. You know what's hilarious is like when it's something that they'd like

want to we're gonna give they're we're gonna give it back to the states to figure this out but when it's something they wanna like fucking shoehorn in, you know, like through force, it's like, no, the states can't do anything about this. This is the feds, baby. Also, they are trying to, so like, you can't regulate AI now. They ended all research into,

like there was this tweet going around where the Office of Budget Management or whatever, or management and budget had, whatever like 21 year old doge flunky they've got running that account tweeted, has been tweeting all of the excess items, or I'm sorry, items of excess spending that they've been trying to track down within the government.

And one of it was like eight million dollars to legume systems research. They were laughing about that. It was some blue-haired pronoun thing. Oh, yeah And it's just like wherever you look like it's just abundantly obvious that they want to make your social experiment experience as

Destabilizing and sort of crazy making as possible. So it's like the food systems are going to be broken down. You're going to be poisoned. You're going to have intestinal parasites. You're going to have like 10 to 20 infectious diseases. You're going to have schizophrenia because AI is unregulated. Like if you look healthy in any way shape or form You will probably be put down. It's honestly

like We we actually have I mean like I know it's like yeah Sort of a trope at this point that we need to go back to Luddism or whatever But we we really do have to do something about this before we crack I've seen people crack my man. They're good there. Basically. They're gonna force you to talk to the computer You you will you will be mandated? to be in Constant conversation with a computer. Yeah

They got us hooked on all this shit and mind our fucking daddy because they knew it was worth something before we did. And then now, but now it's like they need us tethered to machines just to keep us in that cycle. Man, it is, that is, yeah, you're right. It is, I mean, it's the natural consequence of people with high grade personality disorders running the government and

Extrapolating how they comport themselves with their fellow humans out to Governance, yeah. Yeah Dude, I don't like the loafers What do you mean? I don't think they look good on me I was just I was literally getting just getting ready to compliment you on how good they look on I don't think they look good on me. I can't pull them off. What do you mean? I don't know why, they just, I just doesn't feel like. Let me tell you what it is. It doesn't feel like me. It's, no, I'll tell you what it is.

They're too new. Once you get some patina on them, they're gonna feel like a second skin. You think so? Yeah. If you wanna hasten that process, set them out on the front porch for about a week. In this guy.

Assuming no gunslinger comes and says, ooh man. Freebies put some What do they call those in the Old West they put those things in the back of their boots spurs We'll put spurs on the back of my back on the back of your mom like a son Yeah, I don't know I just don't know if it works for me I think that I think that's the best I've seen you look really. Yeah wearing Moccasins with no socks. Yeah, I think you gotta keep going. I keep plug

I do the same thing with just a white canvas sneaker I like when you first wear them you're like I look like a chokes because it's just like a brand new but in two weeks with leather it takes a little bit longer. But you keep wearing those every day for about two months and you're gonna feel the difference. It'll be good? Yeah. Interesting.

Yeah. Huh. Well, I was gonna try to make my own. Moxons? With leather. You're gonna stretch some deer skin and- I was gonna stretch some deer skin and make it so a rubber sole on Yeah

Leather of my own I was called out one time for calling moccasins moccasins Really? And I said I was appropriating native culture. I was like, I think I was literally bought these off I was there a Native American. I remember that guy that made these in Berlin, Wisconsin Man 2016 was a weird time. It was I was like I'm a moccasins guy Like just several pairs of eyeballs just looked at me like I dropped a crazy slur Damn I was like what? What? Damn. They got your ass. This is what these are called though.

And I was sitting there in the corner like, yep, that's right. Roast his ass. Yeah, you're right. Hey, that's right. I know that's right. What you gotta say now motherfucker? Get his ass. Yeah.

That was a strange time when you were just... It's funny to deploy the woke mob on your friends and family You give have you done that I've deployed the woke mob on my friends and family for sure, but what way did you do it? Just other than you saw me being Going through my own malice at the palace and going through my own malice at the palace. What transpired after that was, I mean, it was a full blown assault on my entire character. I've done that multiple times.

In front of a lot of people too. One time you used to have this book called How to Be a Man and the woke mob got your ass. They came for it, you remember that? Yes, that was another instance where I was sitting in the corner like, get his ass. Get his ass. Dude, they opened it up to the page too,

where he says, I think the line is he says, and it's all tongue in cheek, but I guess that was lost on them in this, but I think what he said was, next time a woman tells you that testosterone causes war, famine, you gotta come up with your own crackpot theory I'm a woman tells you that testosterone causes war. Famine, you gotta come up with your own crackpot theory about how estrogens like causing climate change. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's how to fight back, how to be a man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They read that in front of, including the person that called me out for same moccasins. They had another one in their column for that too. They were like, damn, Tom. I got obliterated in about a two month span. I watched it. I was they really they did a number on me. I watched it all happen. What was the other one? There was one more that they really got my ass on there in that period. I think. What was it? There was it There was

Yeah, there's moccasins there was Glenn O'Brien That's funny that push it He said that about Kanye because when I first saw that quote like he's not a man I was like is push it T on some like trans phobic shit. I Thought he was saying Kanye's not a man like Kanye's but what did he I'm still a little unclear what he meant by that. Does it mean like he's like an alien? Like he's not human, like he's on some different shit?

Or does he really mean like he's pathetic? Yeah. He meant that he's pathetic because the quote was, Kanye's a genius because he can see that I know that he's weak and that he knows that I hate weak people. Oh, yeah Yeah, that's what it was. So it's like I think that quote is kind of stupid too because it's like Like there's nothing wrong with being well, how do you define weak? I guess yeah, I guess Connie is a textbook narcissist and that's kind of the

His animating factor of his personality, right? Right. He's really not giving us anything that hadn't been in the brochure factor of his personality right right he's really not giving us anything that hadn't been in the brochure right on time right that's funny though Connie's not a man he's not he actually comes from the Andromeda galaxy yeah you know when we all cried out crawled out the primordial lose he was doing a different actually I've thought this for a long time that Hillary Clinton is actually not human like she is Obviously Alien in a human skin sir Like and so maybe there's a that's the through line like push a T is like I'm done with my old alien friends now

I've got new alien friends. I've got new friends. I'm leaving all those clowns behind. I'm rolling with the winner the ascendant Hillary Clinton I did one of the most one of the worst things that happens when you really like I love push to I put him in Easily my top five. Yeah, then they do something lame like that. Yeah He's been pretty good because he mostly He doesn't talk to the press a whole lot. He's like He doesn't put out a ton of music And so when he does it's usually always good

But yeah sometimes now I mean to be fair I don't Like I I mean, to be fair, I don't, like, I, what are we criticizing him for here? I guess his involvement with Pantsuit Nation. That's really my only strike on his whole thing. Yeah, like, Kanye thing is whatever. It's like, Kanye sucks, but Pantsuit Nation, come on, brother. Come on, bro, you can do better than Pantsuit Nation.

Don't do that to yourself. Also, maybe, also, I think part of it was, aren't they connected, him and his manager, connected to a guy that's like in jail for a long time for being a coke kingpin. So maybe it was cozying up to- Larry Hoover? I don't think it's Larry Hoover.

I think it's a different guy. But like Larry, same type of situation. I think Larry's a different guy. But like Larry same type of situation I think Larry Hoover was just released from jail. Wasn't he did Trump let him go. I think Trump let him out. Yeah Mm-hmm. That's good. What if he tracks down Rick Ross? We're Ricky Ross and Larry Hoover running around together Think I'm big meach Larry who big Big Meach. Big Meach was Detroit. But Rick Ross was a, wasn't that a name for? Freeway Ricky Ross.

Freeway Ricky Ross. Yeah, Rick Ross takes his name from a drug dealer. Who is out? Who is a free man? Okay. I'm Freeway Ricky Ross. I think he's like a business consultant, like a success coach now.

He said, so he said under the name Ricky Ross, I think I'm Big Meech Larry Hoover. He's kinda telling you how delusional he is. He thinks he's several different Coke key pins. And he's none of them. He's none of them. In fact, he used to be a CO. I saw a video the other day where he was on a boat

and his wife, they were doing a streaming thing and his wife went to the bathroom and took a dump which she still had her mic on from the streaming thing and so you could hear her taking the dump she was like that really which is how I stand when I'm taking a dump you hit a false set I go oh she's so good got you hitting the yeah because it happens so rarely these days. Oh man, I'm the same way. So constipated all the time.

Little IBS cast. Yeah, it's tough. When I have a good one, it's like cause for celebration. Seriously, it's not. That's why people think it's weird I tell them about it, but they come so infrequently. It'd be like if a lunar eclipse happened. We just never talked about it Just let it go. Yeah, just just pretended it now wouldn't it wouldn't it or solar eclipse? What did crazy that the the Sun just disappeared for two hours today? What if Rick Ross's wife went to the bathroom

and she had the mic still on and she neither pooped nor peed, but she made some crazy noise like. Ah. Boop. Boop. Boop. Boop.

Bah. Just like made lamb noises or something. Boop. Boop. Bah. And then we were like, damn, she's an alien too. Yeah, not her too. She did whatever they do when they go to the bathroom.

She's one of them. We're like what are those sounds? What are those sounds? Rick Ross in there and just making his like signature grunt. Damn. You remember when ad libs were big and rap songs, there ain't good ad libers anymore. What is an ad lib? Jada Kiss that.

Oh right. Rick Ross that. I feel like that's kind of what all rap is now push it he has which is sort of splits the difference between Jay to kiss his back Kanye's got that scream yeah yeah yeah he loves doing that mm-hmm how's he like because he's um he's insane he's not a man Kanye's all too human this thing he's clearly a human being he's like embodies all of the specific Neuroses and insecurities and whatever of a human. Yeah, like Hillary Clinton

to me comes across like someone who is new to this planet and is Like just just stepped off the mothership yesterday. Yeah, but the intergalactic turnip as it were Like that's how she how do they do this here I Think I've got it I'm chilling in Cedar Rapids. I'm chilling Yeah, that's what I'm saying. She just kind of strikes me as like a Damn I was like dude, you know those guys that have Like from long-term smoking they've had like a

Laryngitis octomy Laryngoctomy, yeah trach learned but now yeah trick and you have to press that button to talk Yeah I'm gonna start doing that even though I have no button to talk yeah I'm gonna start doing that even though I have no button to press like on this podcast like you come over to record you just pull that shit in that same room I was in 2016 with the mocks and see how that goes over you become in both you forgotten what the world we left get his ass Yes. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha He's disgusting. I just press my throat. People are like, do you actually have one of those things?

I don't think anybody's asking that question. Man, you see the thing. Oh, I know where I was going with the Pusha T stuff. Well, I ran right past that. What? We got almost a whole episode before I even made what my opening point was going to be. There is a lot of like, kind of a common refrain in rap music these days is like how you refer to cocaine. Yeah.

And it's usually, it's like the name of a white celebrity. Oh yeah. Like in the new clip, that's why I said in the clip song. Malice's brother who was, got saved, became a Christian and then started going by NoMalice, but I think he's Malice again. He's Malice again, he's bad. Yeah, he's entering, remember when Mace became a preacher,

remember the rapper Mace? Yeah, and then he went by NoMace. Then he went by NoMace. Yeah, he went by NoMace. He's Mace became a preacher, remember rapper Mace? Yeah, and then he went by No Mace. Then he went by No Mace. Now he's Mace again. Now he's Mace again, yeah. He didn't really have the same resurgence, he got into podcasting. Ah, yeah.

Which is, you know, which way, Western, man? It's either rap or podcast. Right, right. But like Mace had that where he quit rap, became a pastor. Yeah. Okay. And then he got back into rap,

but sort of as like still as a Christian because he still had his church thing going on, like he didn't want to mess that up. Right. So in his raps he wouldn't cuss, but he was still like, you know, he would like talk about things that weren't like, you know, necessarily godly.

Right. You know, and he came out with an album called I'm Back, which was, had a song dedicated to being a loving, faithful partner to your wife on there. Which I think is important. It's good stuff. It is good stuff, It was good stuff. Well, Malice is kind of-

I'm a good dad and a good husband and I love everyone and I'm a good person. Yeah. Malice has done an interesting thing where he doesn't see any conflict between the, he's kind of in his Marvin Gaye sexual healing era Damn, he's like rapping maybe he's not cussing but he's like rapping maybe harder than he did when he did cuss Whoa, you know what I mean?

So he's like talking he's giving you the unvarnished truth about the world. I love when Christians do that Yeah, they're like the world is full of rape and murder Well, and blood and guts. He says on that one song, he says, John 10 10, that's my usual. Cops won't see the guns, but the sewers do. And I was like, damn, that's hard. T-Bone used to do that, remember? Yeah.

T-Bone used to give like apocalyptic raps, but no cussing. Yeah. No cuss words. I always mixed T-Bone up with South Park Mexican the Mexican rapper that's doing like 40 years for Child Molestation. Hmm. Allegedly. Why'd you confuse the two? I don't want to talk about it. Does T-Bone have allegations? I don't think T-Bone has allegations. Well he's got allegations of being a demon killer. He's a demon killer. Bob Dylan and T-Bone has allegations. Well, he's got allegations of being a demon killer. He's a demon killer. Bob Dylan and T-Bone should have collaborated

when Bob was in his Christian phase. That would have been time. Who all has went through a Christian phase? But I'm not talking like a Christian phase where they became like CCM acts. I'm talking like they were just like, Yeah. They were like Christians,

but still more or less doing the same thing they do, but maybe like a toned down version of it. You have to have a career long enough to warrant it. You have to have a career long enough to get to like a midlife crisis type deal, where you're kind of artistically done. Like that's the thing about the Kanye thing, it's like, is he really a Nazi? Is he really an anti-Semite?

All this stuff is like yeah, maybe probably but really more than anything he's just out of ideas. As an artist he's just clearly... Well, I think that was a apparent one. His latest album was an AI album co-written by Dave Blunt. About fucking his cousin. Yeah about fucking his cousin. Like it's clearly like he got. That's, you know when you're frying your eggs and you're scraping the dish, that's what that is. Adam, like as an artist, and I feel like,

hold on a second, hold on a second. Do you remember when he like first came out, like this is Hurricane Katrina era, and he did that interview and he was like This is at a time whenever rapper was still like saying the f-word and all that stuff Yeah, and he came out like my cousin's gay. It's like I'm yeah, I'm pro gay It's gotta be a hundred percent Is it the same cuss? It's gotta be a hundred percent It conveniently left out that I had at least at one time had been gay with

That's what I thought the push-a-t quote was referencing. I thought he was being like yo, he's not a man Can you imagine the operatives in Pantsuit Nation like, if he was to like Pusha T. Pusha. Listen, we're picking up, you know, people, family of the incarcerated with him. We're losing gays, rapidly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know Kanye's weird, but Pusha T said he's not a man

because he's gay with his cousin This is a problem with us. Yeah, this is a problem with us. That's how an alien group would talk They would say this is a problem with us Which brings us back to centrist fest headline by Lissa slot Did you see some of the, is it Welcome Fest? Did you see some of the quotes coming out of that? Did you see the one where it was like, the left has a story, the right has a story, the center doesn't need a story,

but we don't need a story, we need a plan. It's like, that's exactly what you're talking about. Storytelling is as inherent to us as like breathing. It is. You know what I mean? It's all a story. You have to be an alien to think you can sidestep that. Well yeah, I mean, what's funny is that even Marxism,

which ascribes to like a scientific empiricism and whatever Provable what's that? It's provable. Well, I was good. Well, yeah, maybe but it even Possibly what even at its most basic level even if it's not or is it's just a story is what I'm saying Yeah, it's just like which is kind of whatever. It's like marks You didn't have to go through all that like mathematics. You know the guy almost invented calculus He was like cooking with like early versions of calculus just to sort of prove that like history Moved along a track It's almost like he was trying to take a social science, but but sort of apply a framework of like

Mathematics or something to it well, he was trying to make, Literally. So yeah, he was trying to make it a science. Yeah. And there's all kinds of ironies from that, one of which is that in the humanities we no longer even teach Marxism. Another of which is that like,

it is kind of a science, studying like the relations between people. But another irony is that it's also kind of just a story. It's just like, it's all about who tells the best story. There's no such thing as really objectable fact. It's all about who can tell the best story, really, at the end of the day. So, which is to say that if I was to put on

the most boring iteration of Bonnaroo that I could conceive of. In like a ballroom at a fucking Holiday Inn, it looked like. Yeah. You know, off the interstate somewhere. Dude, everything sucks so bad. Like, did you see this thing about about how there's two big Palantir

stories this week one of which is that the Trump administration has hired Palantir to collect data on every single American and obviously like the right-wingers are just like well that's okay that's fine because it's the government and they have our information anyways. It's like, you know. It's that sort of hedging that like Alex Jones is doing. Like Alex Jones spent, somebody pointed this out on Twitter, he'd spent his entire career ringing the bell about what was coming. Then now that it's finally here, Alex Jones is like, oh, you're overreacting. Well, and specifically the Alex Jones thing,

I saw a clip going around, I don't know if he was talking about this or the other big Palantir, Till story this week, but like Jeffrey Epstein has like an investment fund sponsored by Peter Till or something like that, that's like paying off his estate. So his estate now has like almost $200 million or something like that.

That it's accrued in the last 10 years that he started with Thiel and one of Thiel's investment funds called like Valar or something like that. The point being is that it's very obvious that like all of these people and it's all projection, but it's very obvious that like all of these people and it's it's all projection But it's very obvious that all of these right-wingers

Like everything that they've said And I know it's pointless to point out hypocrisies and contradictions and all this but like everything that they've warned about and said and like Hysterical frothing about they are the ones doing bring it bring it there was bringing it to pass Like they're so full of shit. Yeah, like their whole like don't tread on me type deal. Yeah when they are Obviously expanding the power military power of the federal government Beyond anything that's been seen. Yeah since the war on terror at least which was also a right-wing thing You know I mean like they're just so full of shit like if there comes a day when they actually do confiscate the guns or whatever like it'll be Done by a right-winger. Yeah. Yeah, it will never be done by the Libs the liberals will never confiscate guns in this kind of no

No, it'll be done by a right-winger. No, no, they're too afraid of appearing squishy. Yeah, it's so funny it's like if you were abetting, you know that John Lanchester thing we talked about like like the likelihood of Obama playing for like the UK rugby team or something that if you were a betting person and I said like if you were a betting person there is a Much much higher likelihood that the right wingers would be the ones to confiscate the guns than the lips higher likelihood that the right wingers would be the ones to confiscate the guns than the libs. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I said on Twitter recently, like, it would not surprise me if the right wingers confiscated

the guns at some point. And people were like, that'll never happen. I would put the odds better at the Loch Ness Monster confiscating your guns before the libs were. Like, honestly, if I were set the odds, I'd say that's a slightly better odds than Federman coming through your guns. The conservatives would 100% do it first. If I were setting the odds, I'd say that's a slightly better odds than yeah Federman The conservatives would 100% do it first Yeah, and hell they should if they're if they're really about that life, they should go ahead and do it before Trump dies Yeah, if they really wanted to like

Consolidate control because they're gonna need to because once Trump's gone, they're fine. They're screwed. Yeah. Yeah, it's back to square If I was them I would take all the guns Do and that's a very fragile heartbeat. I have to say man this Not look good. Take all the guns consolidate all power within the executive Do away with the courts turn America into Fortress America. Obviously all those things that they're already doing But this has been a weird week because it's also like Elon's been melting the fuck down about the budget And Trump's starting to get like impatient and pissed off about it

The fact that like Elon keeps talking shit about the one big beautiful bill That's going on simultaneously while the Democrats are running with the taco thing. Oh God. Have you seen that going around? It's fucking stupid. What is that about? So stupid. It stands for Trump Always Chickens Out.

And they're trying to like goad him. Where did that come from? The first time I saw it used was a reporter asked Trump like maybe a week or two ago about the tariffs and They asked Trump like what do you think about this? Hashtag that's been going around called taco about Trump always tricking chickens out like when it comes to the Like that's one of the nastiest things you could have asked. Yeah. Yes But now Dems are using it to basically try to get him

to start a war with Iran. Like Trump probably should. I mean, he's like, dude, they have no vision. They're trying to, things I've seen the Dems do this week, try to goad him into starting a war with Iran, try to rehabilitate the image and person of Elon Musk They're they're on that tip They've been trying to a guy that did Nazi sluts three months ago and now they're like now they're like we gotta take him back Who is just Bob Dylan a pedigun? He was fuck it. We gotta take it back

Gotta take it back a guy who's like polling at like negative favorability like it's like they are they are Drawn like moths to a flame to anyone with negative favorability dick Cheney Elon Musk is like if you're unpopular the Dems want to fuck with you. What is it about? What is it about you? Being like in the twilight of your career that makes the Dems like, oh, now we can fight. Is it because they've been defamed because their relevance has waned or whatever, now they're like, now we can make common cause with them. You mean from the Cheney point of view?

Well, from any of them. I mean, like even like fucking Kamala taking Liz Cheney to fucking Michigan. Yeah. You know what I mean? I think it's because one of the only alignments, realignments we've actually seen, people wanna make like, people keep trying to make these grand pronouncements about like, oh, the working class is now Republican,

oh, this, that, the other, Latinos are now Democrats, like they keep trying to make these grand pronouncements. There are examples of that, but it's not true in the aggregate. The only thing that's true in the aggregate that we've seen. We're all gonna die in pain. But we're all gonna thing that's true in the aggregate that we've seen We're all gonna have to ride Down the chatelle Arab

in the Persian Gulf That's the only things written in the stars folks. The only realignment that's happened is The Ocons going to the Republican or the Democratic Party. Yeah, all 12 of them Yeah, the remaining 12 what I mean what I mean is like in the aggregate Yes, all of them have realigned with the Democratic Party and there's all of them like yeah, there's like 12 Lincoln Project guys in like Iraq War Prosecutors, but yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's the only realignment has actually happened. Yeah my god, dude. Also, the dumb thing about the taco thing that kind of pisses me off is like,

are you trying to force Trump to do some catastrophically dumb shit just to because you know he's going to overcorrect? The answer is yes. You know what I'm saying? They want him to. It's like if you spot a man's tail, you don't say a fucking word about it. You know what I mean?

You just kind of like, you know that, you commit it to memory and you just milk it. You know he's gonna pussy out of all this shit. But instead you're golden him and you know his personality type. The person I saw saying that this was a good idea was that Adam Jentleson guy, the guy who used to work for Vedeman.

That guy needs to fucking hang himself from a fucking bridge. He was like, he was like, it creates great continent, and it gets under Trump's skin. It's like, you're right, if you notice a person's tail, you don't fucking go out and broadcast it. Like, they, because they have no vision,

they're so committed to not doing shit That they really do want to trump they want to go Trump into doing something like we're gonna nuke, Iowa We're gonna kill them several million people the Democrats would be like this will help us That's what they're so craving They think if they can goad him into do some doing something catastrophic Yeah, and very unpopular and they can capitalizead him into doing something catastrophic and very unpopular, that they can capitalize off that. Not realizing that there could be people dead, thrown in a Salvadorian murder prison, any

number of things that could happen, but by God we'll be back. If you take for granted America as one monolithic identity as a human being as a person the We've talked about this before like the logic of addiction playing out like the Republicans are the substance itself the one that like Kills your liver Destroys your brain eats away at your intestines. They're the fucking substance itself The Dems are the addict. Like they are the ones that cannot break themselves out of,

you know what I mean, they would be totally fine with Trump destroying half the fucking country because it gives them further, just like any addict, it gives them further excuse to not do something. It's like they, liberals are addicted in a way to like conservative policies. They love it. Because it's their, it's what keeps them in power

but it keeps things getting worse which makes them look like a viable option every four years. This is not a fucking original observation by any point, by any measure, but it's just like at some point there's got to be an intervention, is what I'm saying. Like this is not like, the Republicans are obviously a death cult, like they would be totally fine like with, you know, sowing the fucking bread basket

with poison and then serving it all up to us, like Heaven's Gate style. Like tomorrow we're gonna fucking, Trump wouldn't because Trump is just right now the vehicle for who will later, I don't know, who would be like someone who actually do the death cult, like Tom Cotton or something like that. Yeah, Alyssa Slutkin.

Maybe low key on the Democrat. We gotta walk into the light together. Yeah, she creeps me the fuck out there. Yeah. Yeah, Tom Cotton me the fuck out there. Yeah Yeah, Tom cotton would definitely be about the yeah Tom cotton had he been born in you know Central America at the right time would have been Jim Jim real smart Man Don't ya Maria Man Dona Maria They're so bad at they I saw people like people were putting this on Twitter

like house Democrats taking pictures of tacos and like tagging Trump in it like This is why I like this I like on like Telemundo when they have the announcer who's like Mira la telenovela donya Maria Telemundo when they have that announcer who's like They repeat all the names like twice it's like Oh Just the most in bailers Yeah, oh my god. Taco. Dude, it's pretty bad. I'm just now starting to wake up. Dude, I'm gonna fucking.

My sleep has been fucked up because I started taking my Zoloft. A few months ago, I started taking my Zoloft at night. I had been taking it in the mornings and I started taking it at night as on recommendation from my doctor. And then it's just been hard for me to remember to take it. I saw I would just keep forgetting to take it at night.

So I was like, fuck it, I'm just gonna get back on taking it in the mornings. And it has made my sleep, it feels like when you withdraw from fucking weed or some drug. It's like I wake up like cold sweat, but I have vivid dreams every night while my body readjusts to taking it in the mornings.

I've noticed that too with my medicine. It feels like if I take it at night, it's not as effective. Maybe it's just because you're sleeping during the highest point of it's like concentration in your blood or something. And then you wake up and you feel like you've not got quite as much of it

But during if you take it during the waking day from our waking that maybe it's got something to that But don't put it in your pocket. Don't know my yeah, it's your lucky quarter I've been working on Anton sugar as good don't put it in your pocket. It's your lucky quarter. That's pretty good You have to have like a you have to have a vocal fry a little bit yeah is your lucky quarter I don't put it in your pocket if you put it in your pocket I'm going to pull your pants down I'm gonna take this kettle I'm going to serve this thing they kill cows I put it in your pee hole I'll put this thing in your pee I'm gonna blow your

dick out from the back from the backside of this cow thing I'll put this thing in your pee. I'm gonna blow your dick out from the back, from the backside of this cow thing. I'll spread your dick all open and I'll put this little cushion. Just blows out all the contents of your dick and you just got like a sheath in your. A hole that goes straight through your ass. I was like, I'd rather you just killed me. That's bad, that's bad news.

What's going on down there? That's bad news. What's going on down there? How am I supposed to pee now? You want Don to put it in your pocket? You don't. You don't pee now. You don't want to go into pee now. You're going to put your pee in your pocket. In your pocket with your lucky quarter.

With your lucky quarter. Don, try to take those pants back to Patagonia. I have a friend that works at the return desk. He'll tell you, you gotta take it back. He'll make you take it back. Don't take them back. Remember that one James Bond movie, Harvey Arbartian plays the gay operative and he's got Daniel Craig in

that chair and starts massaging his thighs. I don't remember that, I never saw that one. Yeah. Really? Yeah. I'm going to need you to get your penis hard. I need you to get your penis hard for me Mr. Bond. It's just him doing Anton Shigura. That's what I'd do if I was Bardem. I'd just roll with Shagura the rest of my career. You've got a nice pair of balls, Mr. Bond. You just get your penis erect. Then I'm going to blow it up. I'm going to blow it up from the back.

With this cow thing I found. I found this cow thing on the set of the movie. It's working. And the director's like, man, Bard Dems really, he's cooking here. He's improvising and they just blow Daniel Craig's dick out. Whoa, I got a little too into it. Right. Yeah, dude.

If this is diabolical, let him keep letting him keep going. Let him keep doing it. He just blew Daniel Craig's dick out. This is a great movie. He just blew Daniel Craig's dick out. This is a great movie. He just blew Daniel Craig's dick out. Don't try to tell me what to do with my role. It'll go down as like you know the debate is like in Apocalypse Now they really cut the cow's head off or whatever. Oh yeah. They'd be like man, and then James Bond and Javier Bardem

really, a lot of people said he really blew Daniel Craig's dick out from the bank That was kind of an ethical filmmaking. I don't care what you say. I thought it was good action One you're going to prison but to give us your sag card, what are you doing? You can take it from my pocket flip a coin flip a coin So my sidecar What are you doing? You can take it from my pocket Blue Daniel Craig's dick out from the back With that thing from no country for old man. I don't even know what it's called. What was that? It was for like slaughtering cattle, beaves. That's what Tommy Lee Jen says for slaughtering beaves. Bevo? Is that

why the Bevo is called Beaves? I found a Bevo in my backyard. Is that a colloquial term for a Is that a colloquial term for a beef cow? A beef? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, I think so. We're going to steal beef out. We're gonna find him.

That's the plot for James Bond. He's like, we're going to find him and we're going to steal him. And then we're going to cut him up into quarters and sell the quarters at a meat market. So basically, let me get this straight. You're just going to slaughter a beef cow and you're going to slaughter the only one that's earmarked not to be turned into beef because it's a school's mascot and you're

going to sell it. Yes, it's that bulk. Yes, that's what I'm going to do I'm a villain I may kill Woody Harrelson on the way to I don't know we're going to sell it at various meat markets in central Texas they love their barbecue what if they slaughtered Bevo and like sold him as extra premium dog That would be that but James Bond has to stop him even with his dick blown out with his band He's like he recovers from having his dick blown out from the back I'm going to be recovering from this for a little bit, but when I get finished Yeah, when they reconstruct my shit once they've reconstructed my shit. I'm going to take down

Anton I like how your English accent is Michael Fassbender's from oh, you're right. It's like, you know, it's like a German guy All right, let's think what how does Daniel? I don't even know what he sounds like I'm gonna be honest with you. I've There's that movie. Daniel Craig is the most forgettable like Matt and I adult there was that movie where he talked in a southern accent. He's like now I do declare I'm fixing the I'm fixing to take a Xanax and black out

rest of the movie You see I'm I'm I'm showing the after effects of the opioid epidemic I just returned from Texas where I stopped Anton Chigurh From cutting up bevo bevo and I still have my dick blown out but I have a Texas accent now. Speaking of you know how like Natasha Lyonne was on the news and said that yeah I had a conversation with David Lynch before he died and he was cool with a Doesn't she she's got like a fake accent like she doesn't like I don't really like her She's got that fake accent from that show poker face where she talks like somebody from

Like a noir movie from the 30s or something Yeah, but she but she can't shed it like I Austin Butler had the Elvis accent for a while. That's true Like baby. Oh my god, baby. No my god, baby. I'm fixing to come baby in the ghetto to come baby in the ghetto oh that guy sounds like the guy that guy Elvis pretzely that guy Elvis yeah he sounds like the guy car from my biopic of a Kurt Russell he sounds like the guy from the National I feel like if the national should see they should cover that song Stacey's mom Stacey's mom has got it going on. It sounds like a that sounds like a national song Yeah, like this if the national wrote a song ever They would write Stacey's mom. Yeah, it's got going on yellow. I ain't kill sliding in there You see that shit

Has the darkest thing I've ever read. It's so dark I didn't even know how to talk about it. It's just like we live in fucking hell. Dude, so dark. I'm going to find that family. I'm going to find those people. Dude, man, they killed their dog too. Mm-hmm. It's fucked up. Jesus fucking Christ there Yes Yeah, it's no good Jonathan Joss John Rick Where's my phone so many of the best lines from that show? What is Daniel Craig sound like? I wonder if I can figure it out Find Daniel Craig. Yeah, what was that?

Wonder if I can figure it out Find Daniel Craig. Yeah, what was that? Luca Guadagnino movie queer query. Yeah, you're fine. Daniel Craig and queer. It sounds in queer Daniel Craig queer Is he have a British accent in this movie I have to pee so bad I'm gonna go research this and pee real quick Have a British accent in this movie after P so bad. I'm gonna go research this MP real quick Dog push your teeth full full pussy hat coated Oh Dude he's all in he's all in on pantsuit Nation. That's so tight. We really needed that.

I hope he's got a refreshing. I hope he's got at least one reference to Hillary's emails on the new record. The Russians did it. Let's see. Let's see. How did? What convinced you to be part of No Time to Die? What convinced you to be part of no time to die? What convinced you to be part of no time to die? No time to die that was close. I felt like

doing no time to die was a chance to wrap up all the loose ends and It felt like doing no time. It doesn't really have a thick yeah, it's just very subtle. I felt like doing no time to die Yeah, I don't know what I expect him to sound like I felt like doing no time to die would help me wrap up all the loose scenes Yeah, I don't know I expect him to sound like a Dickensian fucking street arch I felt like doing no time to die and fucking street arch. I felt like doing no time to die. That's a little better. That's what Michael care. Yeah I felt like doing no time to die. Since Javier Bardem blew my taj out from the back. It's good that UK has a good healthcare program because I've got my dick blown out. I've got my dick blown out from the back by Harvey A. Baudin and I've had to go get lots of surgery and get it all reconstructed down there. Without the NHS? Without the NHS? Wouldn't have been possible.

Would not have been possible. I've been peeing out my butthole for the rest of my life. I'll tell you one thing, it cost more than just a quarter. It cost more than just a quarter to fix it here. That's why I did it. I wanted to bankrupt Daniel Craig. Mr. Bond. I wanted to bankrupt Daniel Craig Mr. Bond I'd done wonder bankrupt. Mr. Bond. Mr. Ball I got pissed Just draw is this what you drawn here? I Like to do to it. I do do sometimes and see that. Hey, is there any coffee left?

Could you feel my coffee when you go that way? If there's some left, please I'm all topped off I'm old topped off. That's kind of how he sounds. I'm old topped off now. You've topped me off which would have been impossible Just a few months ago. You didn't Daniel Craig Daniel Craig. Yeah. Yeah, I'm getting top this evening. I'm getting top this evening I'm getting topped off this evening. It's topped off this evening after a hobby I bought dead and put his little that sounds like Picard after hobby I bought him put his little thing in my Put his little cattle slaughter thing in my peat hole

Dude that would suck to have someone your spreads your pee hole open and then do that little cow blows your whole shit open After a harvey airball damn put on what that looked like would it just look like like I'll show you right now You know how it looked or your penis. Oh, you know how I'm like Bugs bunny like somebody would get blown up and it would just be like... Yes, it would look like that. It would look like that. Yeah.

It looked like somebody stepped on dynamite and rode across the road. It looks like my favorite. Really looks like my favorite cartoon. Looney Tunes. Looney Tunes. Bugs Bunny? How you say Cucumber? Bugs Bunny.

Bugs Bone. Bugs Bone. What if Anton Seger said it like that? I'm Boggs Bones. Like don't put it in your pocket, it's your lucky quarter. It's like- What if Harvey M. Vardy had like massive titties and a big ass and he was like a salsa woman? He was like- he had like a sundress on. He's like don't put it in your pocket.

I'm imagining, I'm imagining. Oh, are you looking at my tata? Like at the counter in that scene in No Country for Old Men, like he leans over. He's just balancing a whole bunch of fruit on his head. And he's got his titties like in the guy's face like, don't put it in your pocket. It's your lucky quarter. It's your lucky quarter it's your lucky banana boat you can use it to get all that banana boat Oh my butt and tongue sugar

Got me pretty good But you know banana platanos are going extinct you may give other good Not here in that sense that you mean Compound right? Yeah, you're Platonogoboom. You're Platonogoboom. You're Platonogoboom from the back side. Listen here, mano. I'll stick it in from the front and blow it out the back side.

Blow it out the back. My God, you're da ball. Blow it out the back. My god, you're da ball. Now I gotta learn Tommy Lee Jones as the sheriff trying to stop him. It could be Daniel Craig as Southern Knives Out guy, but he's Tommy Lee Jones in no country for old men, too Trying to stop Chiquita banana like busty Spanish woman We gotta track them down

It's gotta be like Kevin spacey's accent like yeah. Well, did you see Knives Out? That's how he sounds. Daniel Craig. Oh and Knives Out. He has a southern accent. Why didn't they just give that part to Matthew McConaughey? Wasn't he in Knives Out? I don't think so. Or is that League of Extraordinary Gentlemen he was in? I don't know if he's in either. He might be. No, Sean, I think Sean Connery was in League of Extraordinary.. No Matthew McConaughey's not out. He was in one of those like Something like similar to that though like like a like a guy richie type of movie but not You know like there's like League of Extraordinary Gentlemen believe it's really No, no, no league of Alan Moore, that was like a superhero thing kind of.

No, wasn't there something, there's a movie called Gentleman. Something to do with gentlemen. The Lincoln Lawyer or something? No, that's a different one. Hold on a second. Now, I'm just a simple Lincoln Lawyer, but. I'm just a simple.

My penis may have looked like Bugs Bunny. Bugs Bunny got a hold of it. Bugs Bunny got an anvil dropped on him. It looks like my dick and balls looked like Bugs Bunny stuck the barrel of Elmer Fudd's gun right up his pie hole and pulled the trigger from behind But the other way because he went in through my pee hole Trying to diagram it in your head Bottom line is my dick and balls ain't like they used to be

My dick and balls like they used to be I don't say I never do something like that senior. I'll say I'm not that crazy That local Twitter showing up my face to you. They're saying no, it's the Lincoln Lawyer. No, it's not goddamn it. Oh Let's say not the gentleman it's called the gentleman just called the gentleman. Yeah, I'll say listen here, mano Nice there, mom I've been here. Yes. See that's my kind of that's why I thought that was knives out Look at that movie poster. Tell me that's not knives out too. This looks fake This looks like a Tim Heidecker joint. It looks like Tim They got Polly Walnuts in this

Before he died. No, I think it's Jeremy Strong. No. No, it's not who is that Colin Farrell it is It's Colin Farrell looking like Polly Walnuts Right, that's not Polly Walnuts no and then they've got That's not poly walnuts no and then they've got They got some guy in here dressed up like Pedro Pesco They could have just got Pedro Pesco Anyway, I don't know what it did at the box. How about your mar dim is married to Penelope Cruz, right? Pretty good like Penelope Cruz would be a better actor for that role Playing the bussy Spanish Chiquita banana woman who goes like death from town to town. Yeah murdering people

Yeah, they would be more better, but that but it would be funnier if it was harder to get back down They actually should do it together like the two of them. It's like a meta commentary on their marriage. Yeah like like Instead of couples therapy we do no country for old men too I said it's like a guy richie movie, but not and it is actually a guy the gentleman is actually a guy rich no country For new couples. This is for old couples Who was got was got richie married to mad Madonna that dream that he was very married to her he was very very married like I'm married to he was married like a motherfucker you've never seen somebody so married to a person like God Richie. To Madonna. I'm fucking with you. And Madonna. Madonna.

Don't put it in your pocket. That's your lucky wife. That's your lucky wife. God Richie comes to me, I thought, I said, God. I said, you never do better than Madonna. You cannot do better than Madonna. You say you're ceiling. Damn. Also, you've not made a good movie since Snatch. And even that was not so good. I have a hard time driving across the South because my condition makes it hard for me to sit down.

Well you got consumption? For long minutes. No, I got Bugs Bunny stuck his rifle up where the fuzz was. Wiley E. Coyote. Wiley Coyote. Daffy Duck got his ass blown off. Feathers everywhere. I got that but with my dick hole.

I got painting a black hole on the side of a mountain. I got that running off a high cliff but not realizing it for several moments after. And then dropping precipitously back to earth. I got that, but with my dick hole. They call it the Acme dick. Acme looney tunes, anvil dropping from the sky, dick condition, and it can only be dished out by one man, Acme dick Acme looney tunes anvil dropping from the sky dick

Condition and it can only be dished out by one man and that son of a bitch is Javier Bardem This is a masterful monologue that if I ever heard it in a movie, I'd say this is a great Good I'm gonna go pee real quick. This is good stuff. I love this movie. And this is why I love it. Daffy getting his ass feathers blown off. What else does Javier Bardem say in No Country For All? All I can think of is don't put it in your bucket. Is there like a quarter? And um,

Freddo? Freddo. He says not in the sense that you mean not in this. And he says, um, because he goes to someone there's cars in there. So not in the sense that you mean. Yeah. And then not in the not in the sense that you mean. No, I'm he's in the bathroom. Tuming. I Said no bathroom. She also says was he say

You should admit your position. Oh, yeah There'd be more dignity and Dignity is a hard word to say this man. That one is dignity dignity on it. Yeah, you bet you send a mid-chart position That's good one to admit your position on all fours with your asshole spread open for me now blow it out the front He's like he's like I don't want to do violent crime anymore I just want to fuck want to have sex with you Daniel just Normal gay said I saw your movie clear. I saw your movie clear. I want to do normal What you know I don't like this very much

Why I got out I thought I thought I was gay for a minute man, but it's like no it's like it's it's like How you say I lost this like stick in your dick in those hollow bunnies you get for Easter It's not lost that the voice you have to do Hilaria Baldwin. Why you look like cucumber How you say that's the voice I was trying to do that's what the Anton sugar needs. He needs more How do you say how do you say cucumber? Where's sugar supposed to be from? nowhere, I think I think it's like He's supposed to be death that's the It's supposed to be like the seventh seal. Oh, he's like the you know, that is the bell horse of the

Yeah, I love that shit But I don't ride a horse Not riding a horse. Can you see a horse beneath me? No, you only see Daniel Craig. All right, you know So you say my personal little plating. My personal little plating. Now I know what it looked like but I grew up around horses and I always kind of wanted to be one. I always had designs on being a horse. I always had designs on being a whore. Being a whore. Now, now I'm fixing to let Javier Bardem fuck me in my asshole, which is newly blown out. He conveniently widened it.

Way back several movies ago. Several movies ago. I don't remember playing in that movie at this point. This is so several movies. We're so far removed from the source material. I'm not sure what character I'm supposed to be playing. I'm still doing that accent from that one movie that people think Matthew McConaughey was in but he wasn't in it. Knives Out I think. Knives Out. One of the Chris's was in it I don't know if it was Pine or Hemsworth. Hemsworth.

One of them. Hemsworth. Master Wine. We've got to get you, fuck I lost it. you've got to get you I lost it we've got to get you back I'm watching and or and there's some accents in that one Diego Luna has like a Spanish accent yeah he's like we got to get the death star we must find the plans for the death star last There's a lot of accents in that movie or that show yeah, you ever watched and or it's a movie about improvising and or that takes place in a Separate sort of Star Wars universe. Yeah, it's about improv. It's about how to be a good improv person You do and or jokes am I thinking of yes and oh, I get where you're going. Yeah, that's good Hey, let's get stuff. Hey, that's good hey that's good stuff hey that's good stuff

and or sometimes I'll write jokes in my bedroom but not everybody thinks they're good they pay a quarter to come see me you want be well you want you want be well you want I forgot about that plot yeah I forgot about that plot we're going to kill be one member is element they about that plot where we're going to kill Bevo. Remember, I made a marketing. I'm going to go to Coruscant in Star Wars galaxy and we're going to sell Bevo. We're gonna sell Bevo.

They take, he takes Bevo meat. To Boba Fett. To Boba Fett. Here you go, here you go. Here you go. Bounty hunter. I used to be a bounty hunter myself. Now I slaughter meat. Now I'm but a humble butcher. I already have this instrument I just use the instrument I got from the movie and I just will slaughter me I had my saga card it was revoked they took it from me I didn't like my metals Mmm, yeah, dude watch and or just get it don't

That's a joke No, dude, it's pretty done. Yeah, you like it. No, I like it Yeah, no you like it? No, I like it. Do you? Yeah. You like it because it's dumb? No, it's good. Is that part of the Mandalorian universe? I think so. I've not watched any of these new Star Wars. I just watched Andor. I'm just basically everybody else. You're just jumping in?

Yeah. Well, I watched the first season. Did you know this show Mortician, everybody's making a fuss about? Never heard of it. Yeah, it's popping off. I guess it's about a mortician. Oh, interesting.

I've not seen it yet, but everybody's chitty chatting about it. What's a mortician? I don't even know what that is. Is that where you beautify someone? Like at that point? It's where you go in and you get embalmed and they make you,

despite not having a lot of raw material to work with on account of you being dead, they try to make you despite not having a lot of raw material to work with on account of you being dead They try to make you look good anyway So the movies wasn't that six feet under the HBO show oh Yeah, is it a sis more talent enough morticians a series or made for TV movie you what even I've never this the first one We've even heard of it who's in it? I don't know I Don't nothing about it other than the title and what a mortician is that would be hilarious is Daniel Craig and Harvey I have a question for you girl. Call more tissue. You're more tissue. I have a genuine question for you

How the fuck did we get from how it's a doc you series? It's not even a show. Oh Should do they show actual dead bodies? I have a question for you. I could rewind it and I guess I'll find out later But um, how did we connect Javier Bardem and Daniel Craig? How did we get them in the same unit? What was the connective tissue that then the James Bond? Were Javier Bardem massages his thighs while he's got tied to a chair Oh, is that the one where he swings the thing and hits his nuts? There's a there's a Bond movie where they torture him by beating his nuts beat his nuts They whip his nuts. They whip his nuts. Yeah, I am not in the sense that you mean I did

I didn't watch the whole movie after I just watched it's kind of one of those things I flipped on it was on TV I flipped on and I watched about 30 seconds of it It was it just happened to be the scene where Javier Bardem rubs his thighs I've seen that I guess I'll be real with you. I think I've watched a Bond movie since Goldeneye or Tomorrow Never Dies or Pierce Brosnan. Pierce Brosnan, Aro Bond. Yeah, that was my teen years, childhood and teen years. Pierce Brosnan, Aro Bond.

Yeah. I don't think I've seen a single of these Daniel Craig. Well, that's not true. I did see the one where they whip his nuts. I watched Octopussy when I was little, cause I thought I was gonna say some Some skin. Yeah You could fuck an octopus it with your new penis mr. Craig

Just no you need what you because it blows you know how blows up its got like eight flaps that go back You need you could put that inside of an octopus and now you have I've blown it up so much It looks like you have eight. It's your lucky penis. It's your lucky penis, Mr. Bond. It's your lucky penis. Stick it in your pocket. Stick it in your pocket, it's your lucky penis. It's your lucky penis, yeah lucky.

Blown apart penis. It's your lucky penis. Could have been your head, Mr. Bond. It could be dead instead. You could have been dead. You should be thinking. Instead now you're doing my plate. My little blown out plate.

It's your lucky penis. Stick it in your butt. I don't know why. It's such a funny concept. Such a funny phrase. So good. How long have we been recording? An hour and a half.

What do you think? I don't know, I guess we should end here. I had a point to make. It was about push or T. Natasha Lyonne maybe? No, I still missed it. I was- Well, Ilyon Musk. it. I was really on Ileon Musk

I was no it was the cocaine reference. It was malice calling it Lady Gaga. Oh Yeah, okay, Lady Gaga, it's just there's some other good examples of that I would call it Natasha Lyon That's good. That's good. Yeah, just call it a white lady. Yeah My favorite saw the babies. He says big brick of white look like Brock Lesnar. Oh, that's good. That's good. Yeah. Just called a white lady. Yeah. My favorite side of babies, he says, big brick of white look like Brock Lesnar. Ooh, that's good. That's a good one. We used to just call it dope.

And that confused me at first when I started doing cocaine. I was like, dope. I thought, I always thought dope preferred to heroin. Heron. My great grandmother, who I was lucky enough to have for the first 15 years of my life, even though she was old as well even

Yeah, she died like 97 or she did cocaine. No, she didn't do cocaine, but she would call Coca-Cola dope Oh, yeah Which I thought was interesting soda dope. I've heard people in eastern Kentucky say that yeah she'd say I need a dope dope and I was like Doug you say that yeah should say I need a dope dope and I was like a Bump, you know, he pretty he break out a bumper. Yeah. He'll keep it looking at my great-grandmother Mm-hmm This is your lucky episode for so lucky episode don't put it in your pocket. It's your lucky episode

This is a lucky episode. It's been pretty bad episode. This is a lucky episode. It's been pretty bad mostly. I don't know. You don't think it's been good or bad? I liked it. I enjoyed it. I think it's mostly bad, but it's a lucky episode. It's your lucky episode. It is your lucky episode. People can take it and have good luck. That's right. It's like that horse in Japan, Haru-R are bad losing. Yeah, that's became good luck tough It's a rabbit's foot a rabbit's foot. It's so bad. It's good Yeah, take this going to the weekend with good fortune good fortune good fortune. Take a good fortune. I'm going to that weekend Damn, that is actually not bad You got a good bar damn going on today we come with good fortune

you have a little Sean Connery slip in there I did you're right you're thinking Connery octopus and Connery era bond Conair Connery era bond Oh Connery era bond you're right mr. bond mace stir bomb what okay help me do Connery real quick Mr. Mr. bond if you think about Connery real quick. Mr. Bond. If you think about it. If you think about it too much. There's not a whole big difference between Javier Bardem and No Country For Old Men

and Scottish. And Scottish, you're right. Listen, it's Mr. Bond. Okay, it's gonna take me. I'm your governor, Mr. Mercer. I'm your governor, Mr. Mercer. Look who's back. It's Mr. Mercer, your governor. It's your governor, Mr. Mercer.

Aren't you so happy to have me back? That's your favorite bit isn't it? You love Governor Mr. Mercer. You love Governor Mr. Mercer. I hear it sometimes in my sleep or as I'm laying down at night sometimes the last voice I hear is I'm your Governor. I'm your Governor Mr. Mercer. Years ago you did an interview which may come back to haunt you.

You know what I'm going to say, right? No. OK. You did an interview in which you said, not the worst thing to slap a woman now and then. As I remember, you said you don't do it with a clench. Whoa. Conner has got an allegations tag.

Yeah. Remember that? Yeah. Yeah. I didn't love that. I haven't changed my opinion. You haven't? No.

Not at all. You think it's good to slap a woman? Holy shit I don't think it's good. I think it's bad. I don't think it's that bad I think that it depends entirely on the circumstances and if it merits it. Oh my god If you have tried everything else and Women are pretty good at this. They can't leave it alone Dude You should see her face last one Barber Shryzen's face they want to say it again they're not happy with

her last word and get into a really he does sound almost Spanish then then then slap him. Oh my god! Oh shit! Dude what the fuck! Oh la la gonna do it because you laugh they said wait will people see this interview are you gonna get mail I get some female oh my god that's crazy there have I never seen that before that's gotta be a bit that's crazy that That is absurd. Wow. Did he just say I might get some female? Some female. God damn dog. Muster Wayne, we don't condone that type of talk in this back cave.

We don't condone that in here. God damn. We don't condone that in here god damn we don't condone that we're messed of wine we don't condone that right now I don't think it sounds good when you talk about hitting women like that what in the hell that's really blowing me away that's fucking crazy man I had no fucking clue what's that accent what's that accent I had no fucking clue man he was like that I didn't know he's like that what am I doing I had no fucking clue that's an

English accent of a kind well I had no fucking clue he's like that when I used to support oh yes you support him I had no fucking idea. He's absolutely mental. I had no idea he's mental. He's fucking mental. No fucking idea. I remember when I used to support Sean Connery. I had no idea he's that fucking mental. I had no idea he's that fucking mental. Back when I used to support Sean Connery.

Back when I used to support him. That's a funny concept to support when I used to support He's dead now, so What a piece of shit god I do such a piece of shit Damn I'm hates hat. I'm hates excited to watch him die Well We leave you on we live true tardy boys. No we didn't know shot Connor. He was a total piece of shit Fucking clue we really are hearing this for the first time. Oh

my god Well, that's Ruth's allegations words that he was gay I was not really seeing that. How are we sitting here talking? How, like, how, how, okay, you're watching an old Sean Connery of your Barbara Walters, where he totally nukes his character. And the next thing you say is, hey, Bruce Alligator allegations tab says he's gay. Take me from Sean Conner's controversial interview to Babe Ruth's allegations tab. How did he? Is that just the part of being the allegations guy? That's just the string of association, stream of consciousness.

Dude, speaking of gay and allegations, the funniest allegations tab I've ever seen is that streamer James Charles, you know who he is? An American beauty YouTuber and makeup artist. He's like a he's like a tick tock Person Um, but he's got so many different allegations um

Like different genres or just same same genre but multiple allegations different genres basically um I'm trying to think public image um I'm trying to think public image In May 2021 he was sued by a former employee of his for wrongful termination in May May 2022 Charles posted a photo of him Tucking himself as well as a video of him twerking while tucked after which he lost over a hundred thousand thirty thousand Like every out for better man catch a vibe him twerking while tucked after which he lost over 130,000 followers. Like every- God forbid a man catch a vibe.

Like everything I read from him, he just keeps losing millions and millions of more followers. Involvement with Evan Johnson. Um, the allegations resulted in Charles losing over 700,000 followers on TikTok. 700,000 He just keeps Why is he just bleeding forward? I? Think it's because there's also the Tati Westbrook feud At which point he uploaded an eight-minute apology video to Westbrook which became one of the most disliked videos on YouTube before it was deleted Take it It's hard to get hard to say how funny that is if you don't know who James Charles is

He just does makeup. He just loves makeup Wow, all right, let's go ahead and call this one. All right Thanks for listening everybody, this is your lucky episode go to patreon if you want more lucky episodes and They're all lucky over there. They're all lucky over there the episodes the links will be in the show notes and The links will be in the show notes and the links will be in the show notes click if you like us on Facebook click if you like us on Facebook if you like us on Facebook and we should bring the Facebook we should bring it back. We'll bring our Facebook page back so um All right. Well, thanks for listening. We'll see you next time

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