Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 46: Moving the Needle

Episode Date: April 13, 2018

We're unlocking this week's premium Patreon episode, after technical difficulties thwarted our plan to release a new free episode this week. We're really sorry about that, we're trying our best, please don't be mad at us!! We'll have a new episode to you by the end of the weekend. This is still a good episode though, mostly because we discover that Tom has some serious acting chops.

They said to wait Like seven to ten days To let her outside I was like Fuck that man Not happening She's gonna die Of a terrible infection

You think so? It's like the pioneer days man Yeah While we're on that subject No she's totally fine You ever wonder Now I get There's something to do with the advent of antibiotics and whatever uh-huh but do you ever wonder exactly like how that like cutting your

finger like 200 years ago could like kill your ass and today like we don't even put Neosporin really on shit like that. That's true. What happened? What happened in the germ world that they started laying off of us? It's called antibiotics, I think. Yeah, but you think that there was a change on the germ side of things? Well, what I'm saying- Where the germs, they got a little nicer? Listen side of things well what i'm saying they got a little nicer listen it's not what i'm saying i'm saying all this doom and gloom i read about these like

new like crazy ass super germs and shit they're coming to kill us all i'd just like to provide a counterpoint to that germs have gotten considerably nicer in the last 200 years i think if we're trending toward anything, we're trending toward a time of advanced health. Interesting. I disagree. Next on something I read today that was absolutely horrifying, my friend. You don't want to read it.

Go ahead and hit me with it. I don't care anymore. You don't care anymore? I don't care anymore. It's all falling apart. Have you gotten past the hypochondria? Are you referring to how that super germs are proliferating and they're more widespread than thought?

It would be funny if you, as a character, stopped being a hypochondriac. Or, I'm sorry, if your character continued being a hypochondriac, but you personally, the Tom Sexton I see day to day, hypochondriac or i'm sorry if your character continued being a hypochondriac but like you personally the tom sex and i see day to day you were like totally just cool man peace with it all i'm not a doc i'm not a hypochondriac but i play one on a podcast on a moderately popular left-wing podcast um this thing that i read today uh will really Popular left-wing podcast.

This thing that I read today, well, really, bake your noodle. What's a funny statement? First off, what does bake your noodle mean? Cook your noodle? Bake your biscuit? I don't know. It seems like something that... This is where I turn to the galley and just shake my head like, what's he talking about? This is where I turn to the galley and just shake my head like, what's he talking about?

You know, one of those things that you're all the time hearing from people, old timers. Remember back in the day on Lil Wayne mixtapes when he would start out a song like, Yeah. Yo, thanks Cash Money Beckett's. YMCMB. But no, this article I read earlier today was pretty horrifying. It was about, yeah, what do you know about climate change-induced camouflage mismatch, my dude? Not into it. It doesn't sound like anything I'm into.

Climate change-ind induced camouflage mismatch Carry on It's a term that scientists have created For the phenomenon of Apparently the Snowshoe hare is a type of rabbit That changes It's fur

Changes every year At the beginning of winter It goes from like brown to silver. But now with climate change getting worse, winters occur, they're starting to occur later and later. But the hares themselves, the rabbits, I don't know. They're still turning gray.

They're still turning gray quicker than it takes it to get white. So paradoxically, it's actually leaving them vulnerable to attackers. More vulnerable, correct. Because I guess the adaptation is to blend in with the snow. Yes, that's exactly right. But now the hawks and so forth can just see them easier. They're getting pecked off in record numbers.

Right. Yeah. About time they got their comeuppance, if you ask me. The snowshoe hares. Right. Yeah. About time they got their comeuppance if you ask me. The snowshoe hairs? Yes. Well, weirdly enough, this article wasn't even

about the snowshoe hair. It was just an opening anecdote, which perhaps was a little gratuitous in hindsight. Let's get to some much more sinister

examples. Yeah. The article was in Aeon. Do you ever read Aeon? I like Aeon. They got good stuff. Yeah. The article was in Aeon. Do you ever read Aeon? I like Aeon. They got good stuff. Yeah. The article was in Aeon

and it was talking about how Lyme's disease is like the first, you know, and I don't know, this might be a hot take. Maybe we've got some pathologist or epidemiologist

in the audience that are like, this is... This is bad science. This is junk science. This is bullshit. I love the phrase junk science. This is bad science This is junk science This is bullshit I love the phrase junk science This is junk science

They They These writers Scientists whatever Said that Lyme's disease Might be the first Climate change Induced like epidemic

Because Ticks are They're going out of fucking control man ticks are they're getting wily they are getting they are getting very wily it but it was really horrifying um because it like they they interviewed this um they were talking like the writer, I guess, was talking to this moose biologist in Maine. When you want to be a moose biologist. There's a goddamn grift going on. You're shaking your head because you know that that's where I'm going to be in 30 years.

Probably. that that's where I'm gonna be in 30 years. Probably. Apparently, moose are dying off everywhere. Some states have even proposed listing the moose as an endangered species. Like the Midwestern, Northern states like Wisconsin and Minnesota and shit. And it's because ticks are so bad.

They're dying from Lyme disease? They're dying from... Tick-related illness? No, dude. They're dying from literally being bled to death. Ticks are sucking them dry? Yeah, sucking them dry, man. This moose biologist...

Pause. Carry on. What, did you have a thought? No, I just said sucking them dry, and I was like, pause. Now they just do that in rap songs. Yeah. This moose biologist, this was a funny part about it. This moose biologist counted 148,000 ticks on a single moose one time.

How many ticks? 148,000 or 148,000 ticks on a single moose one time, which that's insane. How many ticks? 148,000 or 147,000, almost 150,000. 150,000 ticks on a single animal. On a single animal. And so like that was pretty weird, but like the Werner Herzog, you know, part of me wanted to know about the kind of biologist that sits down and counts every single tick.

150,000 of them. You know what I mean? And if he gets to 121,000, then his wife hollers at him and he loses his count. He's like, ah, goddammit, Nancy. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I mean, think about it. You're picking them off

Probably a dead moose Or a moose carcass So you've got a dead carcass there It smells like shit You're picking A hundred fifty Thousand A hundred fifty K

Ticks off that motherfucker I'm wondering if If you could pick that Like Instead of like The electric chair Or the lethal injection Or the firing squad

Yeah It's like I've got an We don't like, I've got an alternative judge. We're all out of sodium pentothal, sir. It's the ticks for him. Dude, that's pretty, it's pretty insane. I bet you'd get high as fuck after you start losing so much blood, but it'd be gradual.

Oh, yeah, for sure. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Well, but anyways. But anyways, they got the, so the ticks are so bad that they're killing off moose left and right.

And that whole part aspect of the story was pretty horrifying, and then it got into the Lyme disease aspect of it. So we're not even to the terrifying part yet. Yeah, well, I kind of stopped reading after the moose part. I was like, that's all I really care about. That's all I need is one weird bar fact to own the libs with. Right, that's all I read any articles for, man.

Just some mic-dropping knowledge. Exactly, like I come across an article and I just sort of strip it of all of its pretense it's sort of like a butcher you know what I mean I just cut it down and then just add it to your interesting anecdotes right catalog in your head little factoid out of it that I add into the this is wild man but in Wisconsin yeah 150,000 ticks got on a moose and killed it man 25 year old me would have really been into that do you kind of

feel like the older you get me personally I've become more and more disillusioned with the whole having facts in general really just with having opinions I've become more disillusioned with just having opinions and facts just period I'm kind of just like a maybe this means I'm becoming more disillusioned with just having opinions and facts, period. I'm kind of just like a...

Maybe this means I'm becoming more of a nihilist, I don't know. But I'm kind of becoming just a blank slate. I'm kind of just trying to wipe it all clean. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, you gave me a good piece of advice a couple weeks back. It's just fight the urge to weigh in. Yeah, yeah.

You gotta fight the urge to weigh in yeah yeah you gotta fight the ways ever everybody would probably do well to just fight the urge to weigh in yeah well the the thing is is that so few people fight the urge to weigh in there's so much weighing in going on right now in the world that it's made me very self-conscious of my own opinions about anything to the point that I don't even feel comfortable saying them anymore. No, me either. I'm afraid that, you know, I'm not going to say certain people don't have whack opinions from time to time, but I'm sure I have a whack opinion tucked up in here somewhere.

Oh, yeah. That if I blurted it out on Twitter, I would be lambasted and cast aside. I would be discarded. I've definitely said them. The thing is, is that with every single person, doesn't matter who you are, you could be the smartest person in the world.

Every single person, if they talk long enough. Has a whack opinion. Yes, they have a whack opinion. They're going to contradict themselves at some point. They've got a lapse in judgment or a laughing opinion. With having a podcast where there's over 100 hours of you just fucking. Spouting out said opinions. Right.

You're going to come across a few that you don't like. I would be interested. This is a challenge to Trillbillies fans out here. Go to the catalog and tweet at us one whack opinion you think we've had. That we have? That we have had. One whack opinion that we have had or that we could potentially have? No, that we have had in the catalog.

Interesting. Interesting. And I will judge if I stand by it or not. Yeah, okay. I like this. I like this. I'm pretty fragile, so I'll by it or not. Yeah, okay. I like this. I like this. I'm pretty fragile so I'll probably immediately be embarrassed. How could you say something like

that? Exactly. Yeah. Alright, I like this idea. Am I a real boy? Well, damn. I had a good laugh today somebody tweeted at us and said hey i just played you off for my lawyer he really digs it and i'm thinking in what scenario what scenario is there a lawyer somewhere Getting paid 400 bucks an hour

I don't know maybe we've gotten somebody off of jail Like someone's alibi was like I was listening to the Trillbillies Like that Curb Your Enthusiasm episode Oh yeah where someone got off Because they were Yeah so I got acquitted because they were They were on Curb Your Enthusiasm

Couldn't have possibly committed the crime That's a good advertising Slogan For us Listen to the Trillbillies Because you need an alibi couldn't have possibly committed the crime. That's a good advertising slogan for us. Listen to the Trillbillies, because you need an alibi. You need an alibi. Assuming that all of our fans are criminals of some kind. I'm a criminal. It's okay.

I'm sure they are. And I applaud that. I do, too. But I did think that was funny. funny i explained you guys for my lawyer he digs you speaking of lawyers um trump's lawyer michael cohen oh yeah he's got indicted right he he was uh his offices were raided today that's right and i was reading the new york times article about it and it was really funny because they were, throughout the whole thing, they were quoting Michael Cohen's lawyer,

which was really confusing to me. I mean, it makes sense. And it also answers, or sort of hints at the age-old, the answer to the age-old question, who's a barber's barber? Right. Who is a doctor's doctor?

He's a doctor, he's a surgeon's surgeon. Well, some dipshit named Stephen Ryan is Michael Cohen's lawyer. I think that was his name. Damn. Dude, you know he's good. If he's representing a guy like Michael Cohen. Damn, you're right. Well, all I know is Michael Cohen posts really creepy photos of his daughter online.

That's surprising. No, I know. The whole Trump thing is guys wanting to fuck their daughters. If you could sum up one sort of pathological trait of every Trump person, it would be guys wanting to fuck their daughters. It is. It's a cliche, but it is kind of true. Yeah, man. be guys wanting to fuck their daughters it is it's a cliche but it is kind of true yeah man well it's something that was that was not uh something that was sort of like lost in the whole story of daniel's thing or i guess it wasn't lost people did talk about it but it was like

he didn't he say something to sternly daniel's like oh you remind me of my daughter or something like that yeah it wasn't like great legs perfect thighs you remind me of my daughter or something like that. Yeah, it was something like great legs, perfect thighs, you remind me of Ivanka. It's something like that. Terrible. Terrible, terrible. Well, speaking of bad opinions,

oh, that reminds me. I was going to send you something. Speaking of bad opinions. Oh, God. I had this email all printed out and sent to you because I had this idea for a bit. The bit is called Me and You Read Back and Forth Lines from the 2004 movie Crash.

I'm into this. All right, and the reason I want to talk about this, the reason I... Don't ask your question if you're going for it. You right, and the reason I want to talk about this, the reason I... I'm going to ask you a question before you go in front of me. You think Crash moved the needle? Did it change things? Did it move the needle? Hold on.

Just, can we put... I want to do a bit called, What Moved the Needle? What Moved the Needle? All right, stick a pin in that. Okay. What moved the needle? All right, stick a pin in that. Okay. I got to pee, and then I'm going to... We're going to talk about Crash and the reason why we're talking about Crash. It's like that Raymond Chandler novel.

Yeah. What you're talking about when you're talking about love or sex. It has nothing to do with that, really. Is that what it was? What we talk about when we talk about. That is also one of my... That's a hack, like journalistic. Journalistic byline title.

What we're talking about when we talk about whatever. What we talk about when we talk about X. It's just like... I saw, yeah, what... Someone had a book or an article, what we talk about when we talk about eggs. It's just like... Someone had a book or an article, what we talk about when we're talking about Anne Frank. Is that an example of having jumped the shark? That is a hack thing.

Wasn't that the guy's name who wrote... Was it Raymond Chandler or Raymond Carver? I always get them confused. Raymond Carver. I think. One of them was a noir writer who wrote like The Big Sleep and The Maltese Falcon and then the other one was the guy who wrote just poignant

short stories that like you know it's kind of got the whole like writerly, writer vibe to it. It's like The Postman Rings Twice. Like those little kind of pulpy nowhere that was raymond was that raymond i don't know i don't know either uh i'm gonna go for you though hold on okay it's your life you say you need a change.

Remember the other night when we were talking about RoboFriend? Like if your friend dies and you can download his consciousness onto a robot? Well, my RoboFriend Tom would sing Connoit 20 songs. It's your life. You say you need a change.

All right, so who am I and who are you in this dialogue? Okay, hold on. So the reason I want to tee this up is the reason I want to talk about Crash is because we watched a movie the other night. Speaking of bad opinions, I want to know what your thoughts are on the controversial film Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. And the reason I'm talking about this is because... Honest, don't set me up here because I got a feeling that you have researched the best opinion on this.

You now hold it, and I obviously hold the older bad opinion on this, and you're waiting to dunk on me. I feel like that's how things work. I'm sorry. But if you want my bad opinion, here's the bad opinion. No, no, no. Hold on. I've not researched the good opinions on this movie.

Does everybody... I hope I'm not alone in that. I'm the only person in the world, because I spend so much goddamn time on the website, that I second-guess everything I believe and everything I say. Uh-huh. No, no, no, I'm the same way. I'm going to go ahead and tell you.

I liked Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. Alright. And I think that I think that some of the overacting in it and some of the shots

with some of the questionable music things I think the fix is in on all that stuff and I think he was trying to make a greater point about the duality of man.

That's good. All right. I actually haven't read the best opinions about this movie. I've only read the worst opinions about this movie. That's what I do

with everything, Tom. You know? I don't actually, like, I don't want to get to any higher stage of enlightenment about anything. You just want to...

I just want to know what the worst opinions are about something. And stay away from it. Yeah. So, no, the reason I wanted to talk about Crash was because in all the

criticisms of this movie, that was the movie thrown out the most. That it was Crash-like? Yeah. They kept saying that, as other films in American cinema that have attempted to tackle race, like Crash, I don't know.

There's nothing in this movie that is even remotely as awful as Crash. I was thinking... Hold on a second. Hold on a second. So the people that tried out these opinions, they think that Crash moved the needle? I want to title this what we talk about

when we talk about moving the needle. Okay. Because it does depend on which direction the needle is going. You can move the needle a lot of different ways. Okay, all right. So I guess one of the biggest people that did this was Ira Madison on Daily Beast and Wesley Morris for the New York Times. Ira Madison's review was dog shit.

It was like six paragraphs. It was just like whatever. And it took issue with the way that race is handled in this movie, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. It was dog shit because he didn't really get into that. Whereas Wesley Morris in the New York Times kind of, I thought, did a good job of exploring it.

And he convinced me on some things that like oh yeah like i could see well we'll get into that later but but even he succumbed to the whole this movie's like crash and it is nothing like crash man because crash is entirely about racism like that's that's the whole that the bill the eye the movie is built around this very nebulous idea. The only thing I walked, this might be a testament to Crash moving the needle, but the only thing that 2005,

six? Four. Four, Tom Sexton? But it won 2005 Oscar. Okay, the only thing that Tom Sexton in 2005 walked out of Crash with is that,

yes, black people can like country music too. Yeah, that was your takeaway from it. That was what I took away from Crash. Right. I probably liked it as a high schooler, as a sophomore in high school or something. Yeah. A sort of liberal type kid, like,

oh yeah, this is enlightening. In all seriousness, I thought back then, I was like, yeah, man, this is saying some shit all seriousness i thought like back then i was like yeah man this is saying some shit man yeah yeah you know what i mean it's it was really dumb i went i went back and uh watched it like even two or three years after it came out and thinking that it was already garbage by that point it had a very short half-life in my mind oh yeah yeah yeah totally totally but um but none of like so, so, like, Crash is weird. So, like, the whole movie, yeah, it's built around racism.

All of its characters are imbued with some sort of, like, racist flaw that all pulls them together. You know what I mean? Like, they have this original sin of racism, capital R racism. And then, like, that's the MacGuffin that drives the plot forward. racism and then like that's that's the mcguffin that drives the plot for it whereas like this movie three billboards outside ebbing missouri which i was told to stay away from it's not woke or whatever it it like it doesn't even try like it that is a theme in the movie like racism but it's not it's not the central conceit of the movie. That's not what, the movie is not trying to explore that specific theme. When the movie does touch on it,

I thought it did it in some interesting ways. You know, and I think one of the most interesting parts about it was that it was an anti-cop film. It really, like it really had a lot of anti-cop sentiments, I thought. It reinforced the idea that cops are comedic,

tragic comedic figures. Yeah, I could see, yeah. What I mean by that, like clowns, objects to be laughed at. Dipshits. Some would say. No, well, I did think it was interesting that, like, the whole idea of the movie was to, well, I don't know, just from what the screenwriter and director said,

Martin McDonough, I think is his name, you know, was sort of to explore how this one person could change Sam Rockwell's character. If you notice in the movie. Who was the most extreme example of a dipshit? Total dipshit. Do you think Sam Rockwell played that character over the top Complete moron Moronical

Yeah he was No I don't think he played it over the top I thought he did a pretty good job I mean like He did a good job but I'm talking about like I felt like at first he was kind of like a caricature of, like, I don't know. I know what you're saying.

He was kind of, well, he's just kind of like the cop's dumb sidekick. Yeah. Like, he's, Woody Harrelson is the kind of John Wayne, like. The principled. Yeah. Tough, but principled cop. Right, right, right. Like, the sort of, like, handsome whatever.

Yeah. Okay. By the way, it looked really. Like the sort of handsome whatever. Yeah. By the way, it looked really great for someone dying of pancreatic cancer. They really, I love Woody Harrelson. They botched that, man. They should have had somebody that was like, looked derelict. I mean, he looked way too robust

to be dying of pancreatic cancer. Tanned, very tanned. Very tanned. Yeah. A healthy 225 pounds. But for a movie made in 2018, you don't see a lot of anti-cop sentiment out there. Granted, it could have gone a lot further, obviously,

like all movies can. I just thought it was pretty interesting because I just got this very anarchic vibe from it. Fuck the Catholic Church, man. Fuck the police. These aren't opinions I've read. I've not seen it. I swear to God, Tom, I haven't done my homework before talking about this.

Okay. Other than reading. I'll take that on faith. But notice how Sam Dixon is this character's name, Sam Rockwell's character in the movie. Notice how it was ostensibly about a person sort of transforming, although that was not the... That was a weird part.

That's another thing in the criticism I've seen in this movie. They take that to be the central plot line, which it's not. It is a big plot line, probably the second biggest plot line which it's not I mean it is a big plot line probably the second biggest plot line in the movie but that's not like to me the story was more about Francis McDormand and the challenge of like standing up for something really difficult

to talk about in a small town against the sort of like powerful established power structure. Well, that's what we were talking about right after we watched it is it perfectly mirrors sort of the dynamics of Eastern Kentucky

in ways that I didn't expect it to. Yeah. That down to, and the thing that was most telling for me was when like the local TV station was covering the, well, spoilers here. Yeah.

But the billboards being burned and then how they were completely deferential to the arsonists. Yeah. And then Francis McDormand's character pulls up. To the arsonists and the cops, basically. They were completely deferential to the police chief. Yeah, if I remember correctly.

I don't know. But yeah, you're absolutely right. Yeah. And just how those stories are vapid and like yeah yeah and completely uh reactionary yeah yeah i'll finish it i'm sorry no no you're you're right um yeah that to be honest with you man it really resonated with me because of a lot of the stuff with lgp and about like protesting the prison and about you know this uh around summer 2016 when the this black lives matter sign was hung up in somebody's window and it was just hugely controversial. I didn't even think about that, but yeah, it kinda mirrors that exactly.

Yeah, to me, it was this really fascinating window. That situation and the situation I'm referring to is when someone here in Whitesburg put a Black Lives Matter sign in their window and the local media of totally flip shit like the local police completely flip shit yeah local police completely flip shit um to me it was a this movie was kind of like that because it was this it was this thing like where a small town just a small town thing happens but it sort of like it sort of like a magnet it pulls in all these other larger things going on in the sort of like national zeitgeist or you know just what

yeah you know including uh race and police brutality and all this other stuff and it's like our reactions to those things may not be 100% woke or like or adhere to what someone might think of when they think about how we talk about things but that doesn't mean that the

people behind those things aren't still humans and that they you know aren't reacting to their immediate environment in a way that's... I don't know. They've been conditioned to. Yeah. Does that make any sense? No, it makes total sense.

It makes total sense. And some of the things I've seen some of the critics about it say... I will warrant they're right. Some of it does feel very i thought felt half-assed some of it felt like a sort of satirical experiment that failed in some ways like i'd said some parts of the movie but for the most part i thought it was a much more complex film than the media had sort of made it out to be oh yeah the resistance media

the you know what I'm saying? And maybe it was other people as well. I don't know. But it is like, I don't know. It just seems like it had this controversial air to it. That was really strange. Once I watched it, it didn't feel controversial. It felt so familiar.

You know what I'm saying? It's just like, oh, this is just my life on a day-to-day basis. It's not a New York or L.A. la film and i don't mean that in like that annoying oh this is yeah you know coastal leads blah blah i hate that shit but it's not like unless you live that i and i really don't know i'd be interested it might be a long shot for us to get the filmmaker on here but i'd be interested to see how they really tapped into that in a way that really felt that resonated with people like us that live in places like that right um yeah because it was it was yeah it was really it was really yeah resonant, it was pretty interesting.

But, okay, but one of the things that pisses me off so much about this comparison to Crash is that this movie, three billboards outside of Ebbing, Missouri, whatever you think about, like, its treatment of the characters, Big Missouri. Whatever you think about like it's treatment of the characters. It's sort of like treatment of these complex issues using satire some of these other things. Whatever you think about that you cannot argue

that the writing is not really good and the acting is incredible. Two things that you cannot say about Crash. That is a dog shit movie. No offense, but if you cast Chris Ludacris

Bridges... Well, and Sandra Bullock... Sandra Bullock, god. Sandra Bullock plays a very racist woman, a white lady, sort of like... Imagine that. I think she's been typecast.

She has that racist vibe. If you need a let me speak to the manager-esque white woman in your film, Sandra Bullock's your go-to. That's exactly what I thought. She was in that movie The Blind Spot. The Blind Spot. The Blind Spot. which... The blind spot.

The blind spot. The blind spot about the dangers of switching lanes without signaling. Yeah. The plot is she has a hard time driving because she has a blind spot in her minivan and she's always hitting football players driving. The blind spot. So she adopts one of them or something she adopts one of the football players she hits um but uh yeah no she is kind of typecasted um but yeah sandra bullock uh matt dylan is in it Matt Dillon yeah he is in it

What's her name Something Esposito Esposito Oh man She's like Don Cheadle's girlfriend in this movie Who I sent you a very hilarious

Interaction between them You want to read it? Let's read it. I want the audience, if you've seen Three Billboards, tell me, is there anything in that movie that is half as bad as what we are about to read? Okay, how are we going to do this? You be Graham. You be Graham.

I'll be Rhea. Okay. Bling bling. You're on the phone. I can't talk to you righthea. Okay. Bling bling. You're on the phone. I can't talk to you right now. Okay. I'm having sex with a white woman. Graham hangs up and Rhea gets out of bed.

Okay. Now where were we? I was white and you were about to jerk off in the shower. Oh shit. Come on. I would have said you were Mexicanican but i don't think you would have pissed her off as much why do you keep everybody a certain distance huh what you start to feel something and panic come on maria you're just pissed because i answered the phone that's

just where i begin to get pissed i mean really what kind of man speaks to his mother that way huh oh this is about my mother well you want to know about my mother? If I was your father, I'd kick your fucking ass. Okay, I was raised badly. Why don't you take your clothes off, get back into bed, and teach me a lesson then? You want a lesson? I'll give you a lesson. How about a geography lesson?

My father's from Puerto Rico. My mother's from El Salvador. Neither one of those is Mexico. Ah, ah. Well, then I guess the big mystery is who gathered all those remarkably different cultures together and taught them all how to park their cars on their fucking lawns.

That's a good ad-lib you had there, Tian. You have to ad-lib when you're reading a script, I feel like. Just the context. I remember that interaction. Just the context, yeah, yeah. At the very beginning, they're fucking. He answers the phone, says he's having sex with a white lady. Just like, every.

That would never happen. Yeah, that's the thing. Like, none of the characters in this movie are motivated by anything other than racism. Other than racism. And it's also funny, like, in a lot of ways that interaction predicted the woke era right whereas the characters in three billboards they're they're motivated by a lot of different things right tragedy trauma losing a daughter having cancer and dying you know all kinds of complex shit this movie doesn't even i don't know dude it just that's where we're at though anyways

let's let's let's move on here uh let's if i remember correctly what the one we're going to read now is um between the woman who plays sandra bullock plays gene in this in this in this one rick is played by brendan frazier brendan frazier is also in this movie the goat yeah he's in this one. Rick is played by Brendan Fraser. Brendan Fraser is also in this movie. Oh, the goat. Yeah, he's in this one. You want me to be... How about I be the man this time? I'll be Brendan Fraser.

Okay. And just as an aside, there is a... I think there's a Mexican maid in this scene. Just to drive home the point. And they're going to interact with her. So I'll play that part. Because the interaction.

Yeah, anyways, you'll see. I want the locks changed again in the morning. You what? Look, why don't you just go lay down, huh? Have you checked on James? Well, of course I've checked on James. I've checked on James every five minutes since we've been home. Do not patronize me.

I want the locks changed again in the morning. It's okay. You just go to bed, all right? You know what? Didn't I just tell you not to treat me like a fucking child? I'm sorry, Miss Jean. It's okay. I go home now.

Oh, yeah. Sorry, that's me. It's fine. I go home now. Oh, yeah. Sorry, that's me. It's fine. Thank you very much for staying, Maria. You're welcome. No problem. Good night, Mrs. Jean. Good night.

Rudely. It says that in the... Good night. There you go. Sorry. Rudely. We'll see you tomorrow. I would like the logs changed again in the morning.

And you know what? You might mention that next time we'd appreciate if they didn't send a fucking gang member a gang member yes yes what do you mean that kid in there yes the guy in there with the fucking shaved head and the pants around his ass the prison tattoos those are not prison tattoos oh really and he's not gonna sell our key to one of these fucking gangbanger friends the moment he's out the door you really had a tough night okay i think it would be best if you just went up and what and what wait for them to break in rick lower your voice i just had a gun pointed at my goddamn face your voice're blowing your voice! And it was my fault because I knew it was going to happen.

But if a white person sees two black men walking towards her and she turns and walks the other direction, then she's a fucking racist, right? You're furious now. You're furious. Well, I got scared and I didn't say shit.

You're jabbing your finger into my chest. I'm sorry. Can I do that to say shit. You're jabbing your finger into my chest. I'm sorry. Can I do that to you? Yeah, you can jab your finger into my chest. And ten seconds later, I had a gun in my face. Now, I'm telling you, your amigo in there is going to sell our key to one of his fucking homies, and this time it'd be really fucking great if you acted like you actually gave a shit.

I remember that scene so good, man. You played Sandra Bullock, racist Sandra Bullock, with the blind spot real well. Man, I tried. You did very well. So the context for that scene, if I remember correctly, and I haven't seen this movie in a long time, but if I remember correctly, the context

is that her and Brendan Fraser are coming back from dinner or something and they get held up by some black guys or something while they're in their car. You know what's so funny, and it just speaks to the piss poor casting of that movie, I could never believe Brendan Fraser and Sandra Bullock would be married.

No. Brendan Fraser's a kind soul. He's a good man. He's a good person. He's a good and decent man. He's a good and decent man. He's a good and decent person. George of the Jungle, probably the first man I remember having sexual feelings for. He was hot in George of the Jungle when I was a kid, man.

He was oily and had a shirt off. That's all I'm gonna say. It is funny that Brendan Fraser went from... It is funny that Brendan Fraser went from... He's always been a... I don't want to say a sex symbol, but kind of like a... Like a goofy sexy.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Like a buffoonish sexy. Well, you know, in that... What was it in GQ or Esquire? Vanity Fair? GQ, GQ. They're all the same in my mind. Yeah, where he talks about his abuser.

Yeah. That article was also interesting because I guess he was cast in so many roles in the late 90s and early 2000s where he was this sort of like bumbling, you know, whatever guy, like this sort of big and bumbling guy. Like he injured himself a lot, and so he had to go through a lot of surgeries. Part of the reason that he dropped out of acting for a while was because he had been sexually assaulted,

and also because he just had to get a lot of surgeries. The rigors of the mummy returns. Rigors, just sort of like what's going to happen to us, but we'll have to have ass surgeries. Implants. Rigors of the mummy returns. Rigors, just sort of like what's gonna happen to us because, but we'll have to have like ass surgery. Implants. Yeah, ass implants

so we can continue sitting and doing podcasts. All those years as a podcaster, his ass just, he didn't have much ass to begin with anyway. It just went away. So anyways, and there was one more, there was one more That I wanted to read But this one's a monologue

I think it's the opening monologue of the film But I wanted to read it off real quick Go for it It's the sense of touch In any real city You walk, you know You brush past people People bump into you

In LA, nobody touches you. We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much that we crash into each other just so we can feel something. Dear God. You're staring at me with great interest. Does the Dave Matthews song with the same name

make an appearance in the score? Oh, that's a great question. The climax of that movie has... That would be too on the nose, though, wouldn't it? Yeah, it would. But maybe... But, again, three billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri has nothing even approaching that level of pretension and superficial profundity.

Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. No, I agree 100%. I don't know, man. It's weird. I just don't understand it. To me, it was one of those films that actually did a decent job of explaining what the fuck is happening in you know some of these places

where we're not plugged in in our current moment in our current moment which brings me back to my original question did it move the needle did it move the needle oh geez

apparently not apparently not I mean I don't want to give this film too much credit Oh, geez. Apparently not. Apparently not. I mean, I don't want to give this film too much credit. I mean, it had flaws. It's not like the movie that is going to move the needle on its own. Needs some application. But that being said, it was, I thought it was interesting.

Yeah, man. Yeah. Well cast, man. When you got, I mean, you had Peter Dinklage in there. Yeah. You had. John Hawks. John Hawks, who I always forget his name.

Right. Some heavy hitters. I feel like John Hawks played a dad in a, he's always sort of like cast in these sort of like white trash dad roles. Yeah. He is, man. He really is. Yeah.

And I think it's because, well, never mind. Well, I read in the marketing of that movie, after the movie started getting all this controversial press or criticism or whatever, that they took John Hawks out of the movie posters and replaced him with the guy, the black police chief. Who was played by who? Who was played by this guy in The Wire. He plays the character in The Wire,

the guy in The Wire that's always painting the toys. Yeah. I don't fucking remember his name now. He had a real young wife. Which I thought was interesting. That guy's been typecast as the black cop. As the black cop. He really has.

He really has. Woody Harrel been typecast as the black cop, hasn't he? As a black cop. He really has. He really has. Woody Harrelson's barking up the cop tree. That's true. I don't know, man. Woody Harrelson, he can do anything. That's the thing. Yeah, Tommy Lee Jones, I feel like, after he did No Country for Old Men, he was just... That's what you need to do, man.

This is what we need to do, Tom. If we just hang on... If we just can hang in there for like 30 years When we get to like our 60s man We can just move to Hollywood We'll just play bit parts We can just be like that guy You know what I mean

That's all I want to be man Is the guy that like That is the perfect level The Philip Seymour Hoffman Like a Harry Dean Stanton type You know what I mean Perfect career You have like your cult followings level the philip seymour hoffman like a harry dean stanton type harry dean stanton you know what i mean perfect career yeah perfect career you have like your cult followings like occasionally people are going to like know who you are right you know what i'm saying approach you and give

you those feelings but you can still go to like the grocery store without being yep you know what i mean yeah man that's where you want to be that That's exactly where you want to be. Nobody's trying to be fucking Matt Damon for a lot of reasons. Oh, yeah. Matt Damon has had some bad opinions. He's had some bad. And you know what's interesting? He's the one guy that I would think would know better. Yeah.

You're right. But doesn't. You're right. Why does. You're right. Why do you think we think that? What do you mean? Like, why do you think we think, oh, maybe it's because you wrote Good Will Hunting

and there's like a, there's some woke shit in there, man. Well, that and like, you know, he had some impressive things to say about like the teacher stuff going on in Massachusetts

a few years ago because his mom's a teacher. So I was like, maybe this guy's one of the good ones. Right. Then, no. And then Me Too happened. It did? I think he had a lot of really,

I think that's what it was. I think he had a really lot of bad opinions during Me Too. The worst Me Too opinion. And let me tell you something. You have to, as a white straight guy, you have to fight the urge to weigh in with this opinion. Because it's going to feel real good to you when you think it in your head. Okay? But the whole, well, a lot of good men are going to be taken down in this with the few bad apples opinion.

Right, right, right. That is perhaps the worst. Tony Robbins, the self-help guru guy. Somebody had a pretty funny tweet the other day that was like, what is this going to do to the con artist industry? Yeah. Somebody said the other day,

what was it? This guy's only big in the Goodwill book section. Right, right. Speaking of teachers, what's going on? Do we have any kind of update about that situation? I saw that Bevan was going to veto. He's promised to veto. He's promised to veto the sewer bill that would kill the pension as we know it. Is he doing that

because he's now backpedaling or does he think it doesn't go far enough? My hunch is that he's projecting that he is making it right when in reality he's going to try to devise a way to push it through

and go further. So you think he's... He's already made a horrific gamble. Right. He's already made his bet. He's already made his bet. Right. So what he's going to do is try to frame himself as this pragmatist.

A lot of people are going to take that bait. Right. Because Bevan, I mean, he's got some superficial charisma he has some rhetorical gifts i think he's a complete idiot who knows nothing about governance but he has some rhetorical gifts like if you watch him talk you think this guy's got the chops right but what i think is going to end up happening is that he knows that he's fucked for reelection. So I think he's just going to go for broke. And I think what's going to happen here is if people give him an inch, he's going to...

God, man, we're just throwing the cliches out. Man, here's my analysis, man. Give this fucker an inch, he's going to take a mile. That's how I feel every time I talk about politics. The best I can offer you is a few cliches. I got a few cliches couched in maybe a modicum of decent opinion.

That's how all color commentary goes. Whether it's politics or sports. We're good color guys aren't we? Yeah. I was with we were with two of our buddies, Alex and I, the other day. And we were watching the West Virginia basketball game. And I said, man, these color guys are very bad.

And they thought I said these. And they were like, I could see that moment that a lot of white people have guys are very bad and they thought I said these. And like they were like I could see that moment that a lot of white people have where they're like stuck between do I want to sound self righteous here or do I want to sound woke?

How do I handle this? And then I just looked and I was like you know like color commentary and they were just like what's that? Man, I had somebody explode on me at a party in Lexington one time because she thought I was making fun. She thought that I called Hillary a comeback. Were you there?

Yeah, I was there. Yeah. Which is like not a thing anybody ever calls anybody. Yeah. What I had said, this was way back in like, what, summer 2016 probably? Yeah, and I was just talking about like, I was drunk and just talking out of my ass just like about how you're going to see this huge comeback narrative from Hillary Clinton about blah, blah, blah.

It's just dumb shit. But she thought I said comeback, and she got very mad at me. Why would that even make sense in what you're talking about, though? It was so embarrassing for both of us, though. As soon as she called me out, and I was like, no, that's not what I said, I slowly shrunk and got really red, and I think that she felt

really embarrassed about it. That she made such a reach, or that she embarrassed you? That, she, both. There's, let's talk about that for a second. Let's talk about the woke reach. The woke reach. I've been on the business end of the woke reach. I did see someone get mad at you for wearing moccasins one time.

That's what I was going to, that's a good example. That's a good woke reach. Is there anything else I wanted to cover today we got climate change ticks we've got moving the needle we've got what we're talking about when we're talking about moving the needle all right we've got um and we and we went crash three billboards. You know, we did see another movie this past weekend. And there was a really good... I saw that you put on Twitter about the guy...

Oh, that's right. Talking about... That's big still going. There was also another... I was surprised that you didn't go with the part where Emily Blunt's character is walking down the stairs and there's a nail sticking out from the board. And she stepped on it and that guy goes, Had that happened?

What did he say? Done that before. Done that before. Hell yeah, baby. Hell yeah. I have to go back and tweet that shit no I guess that's everything I guess we got everything

yeah I've had a good time robo friend Terrence thank you for having me as a guest on your podcast this podcast oh um i did have an interesting hypothetical for you the other day okay i was thinking about um would you allow your clone to fuck your

girlfriend and vice versa i mean you say you're clone you're clone you're clone yes you're clone clone makes love to your girlfriend before you even get in the room yeah would would you be jealous by um would you be made jealous by your clone if it was an exact replica of me with my consciousness taking my girlfriend to to pound town no it's interesting please take out that i said pound town yeah i could do that uh it's a good question. At that point, who's the real Tom, though?

Could a clone, though? Because I feel like your faculties and your personality and everything is cultivated through decades of experiences and whatnot. Yes, yes. So your clone could actually never really be you until you... Yes. Unless it just went through all the same experiences, which would be impossible to replicate.

That's exactly what I said. So I want to say, no, I'd fuck myself up. Right. I'd push me off a cliff. You'd kill your clone if you met your clone. God, you're talking about a deep, deep experience. See, I thought that... Would you murder your clone a deep, deep experience. See, I thought that... Would you kill it?

Would you murder your clone? I leaned into it. I think that it would be kind of hot in a way. God, what are you... What the hell is wrong with you? Well, not me watching it, but if my partner also had a clone and there was like a four-way thing...

Like, I'm fucking the clone. I'm fucking my partner's clone while she's fucking my clone. Watch me. Watch me. Watch me. Yeah, baby, just watch me fuck you. While you fuck my clone. This is what it looks like.

Yeah, dude. This is a kink. It's like Annihilation. Anybody who's seen Annihilation. Anybody who's seen Annihilation knows that this is the actual plot of this movie. It's all about, would you be cool with your partner? That's what Annihilation is about. It's like, would you be cool with your partner fucking alone? God.

Would you be jealous? I really don't know. I don't know. Yeah, I'm going to think about that for a little bit. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, I'm going to think about that for a little bit. I don't know. You know, I'm not a jealous guy. And

does the clone have the exact same penis size? No, he's like Wolverine. Since they made him in a lab. He gets a big old honker. They gave him a big David Hogg, man.

Big old David. The other day I was thinking about it. It's really funny to me that David Hogg, who went through this terribly tragic fucked up ordeal, has now become the butt of a very specific kind of ironic joke. Oh, God. We're diseased. Yeah.

We're diseased. 100%. Absolutely. we're diseased yeah yeah we're diseased 100 absolutely it is so fucking funny absolutely um no uh your answer to this question i think depends on if you i don't know if you think yeah I don't know like I said I leaned into it I'll probably lean out I don't know I think it's such

such a ridiculous hypothetical. I can't formulate a real emotional opinion. What are you talking about? I just know. What are you talking about? I don't know. I don't know if I would be.

It's so weird. Now, everybody in existence has had different iterations of themselves. in existence has had different iterations of themselves. Like, if it was like a younger, slimmer, handsomer me from like the mid-2000s, I'd probably get a little jealous.

Good point. That's a very good point. Yeah, that's a very good point. I would probably get jealous of my 20... Actually, no, because at 21, I was way more neurotic and bad at sex. You know what I mean? Yeah. He said it like you've come so far and you're a stone cold fuck demon now.

You know what I mean. Unlike now where I... No, no, no, no. I'm like the pussy hound I am today. Sex is like a bell curve probably, huh? It's like this. I feel like people aren't...'ve said this before People aren't You just can't be good at sex like you could be good at the guitar

Or playing the drums Agreed With exceptions Well The thing is It's about matchups It's about matchups And the same thing goes with musicians though too honestly

Like I really don't think Neil Peart is a better drummer than Questlove. I mean, like, technically, he's better, he's faster, or whatever. He does some incredible shit. But, like, Questlove's in the pocket, though. You know what I mean? Like, he's got, I feel like he beats better. He's got better beats.

Yeah. That's all I'm saying. Yeah. Not that Neil Peart makes beats, but. Also. Also. That's all I'm saying. Not that Neil Peart makes beats, but... Also...

Noted hip-hop super producer Neil Peart. Behind hits such as Usher's Yeah. Yeah, I guess it's true who your supporting cast is. I mean, Jane Doe might be good with John Doe, but not Dick Doe. You know what I mean?

Yeah. That's true. So, yeah. Dick Doe. Just Duke Doe. Dick Doe. What we're talking about when we're talking about Dick Doe. What are we talking about?

What we're talking about. What we're talking about What we're talking about Dick now This is what we're talking about What we're talking about That dick though What we're talking about Dude that is

Yeah that is A total hack Sort of Headline Do you think that like media outlets have different headline writers than probably probably yeah I feel bad for I'm so glad I'm not writing anymore man like I feel bad for a lot of writers who because I know this feeling you write something and then it has a totally different headline you're like fucking god damn it yeah and then they take so much out that it bears a little resemblance to what you wrote in the first place right right yeah no i'm very pleased i'm you know i thought that like for the longest

time writing was a central part of my identity it helped me like formulate ideas and and really explore some and some ideas and shit that but now that I'm older, I'm like, no, it's much better to just get on a podcast for an hour a week and say all my worst opinions out into the ether. There you go. And it's gotten me way more Twitter followers than I ever got while writing, I'll say that.

Yeah, that's true. That's a measure for success. Have we left, we've left the era of the think piece and just moved to podcasts almost exclusively, haven't we? I don't, that's a good question. I don't know, maybe they have a symbiotic relationship because I feel like a lot of podcast episodes are about think pieces.

Think pieces are the krill of this ocean ecosystem. We're giant wells. We can just take off a bunch of them at a time. That's a really funny way to eat. You know, like the massive wells. Just hoovering it? Here's also my question about that. Wouldn't you get a lot of water in your gut by

off your mouth and just swimming? How's that work? You just pissing all the time? Just pissing all the time. I'm going to like that anyways. Oh, yeah. You know? But imagine being a giant whale or what's the...

A whale shark? They're huge too, right? Yeah, I think they're pretty big. And don't they just open their mouth and whatever's in their path is what goes in there? They get full of water. Isn't it funny how that's their adaptation? That's how they stay alive.

That's how they stay alive to reproduce. They're not fast or agile or anything. No real advantage. They're just massive. They have no natural predators because I don't think anything could really eat them. Right. Being big is a

very good deterrent to not being eaten. You know? Yeah. Unless you're a giraffe. Really just takes three or four big jungle cats to bring you down in that case. Right, right. You know, you talked about the sweet spot. I know we're just on B-roll right now.

But you talked about the sweet spot of, like, Harry Dean Stanton. Oh, yeah. What's the Harry Dean Stanton of the animal kingdom? Animal kingdom. Just the perfect blend of no natural predators. Damn. The Harry Dean Stanton. Harry Dean Stanton is the Harry Dean Stanton of the animal world.

Something with no natural predators, but is also just like at the sort of top of its. Like well respected-respected. Well-respected. Has no natural predators, really. In the sense that Harry Dean Stanton wasn't, I guess, trying to compete to be a leading man or anything like that. Yeah. What do you mean, like a manta ray or something?

A sting ray? Those are pretty tight. Those are pretty tight, but i feel like a shark could eat them damn a shark probably could have fucked up a stingray but they're massive though man big meal man the funniest thing dude um the funniest shit to me was i was in the did i ever tell you about this i was in the the aquarium, the Atlanta Aquarium. I don't know what the fuck it's called. But they have narwhals there, man.

With big horns? Or no, beluga. I started saying, are narwhals real or fictional? Maybe they're fake. No, they have beluga whales. Beluga whales are the ones with the big-ass foreheads. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But they're incredibly intelligent. But it was hilarious, man, man because how do you know because i got big foreheads no they they were winking at me

okay playboy i'll see yeah um no it was i was standing i was standing there um and there's a bunch of families all standing around. And two of the beluga whales started fucking. And they're like, hey, let's put on a show. Let's put on a show. And the male beluga whale just pulled out and busted everywhere. Like a big, huge cloud. The way you were doing it, I thought you were making like a ladder,

like you were lighting something. You're like, he just pulled out a ladder. No, I don't know. To me, that's the hand signal for pulling out and busting. Pull out, you bust. You use your thumb like the way you would use a water hose when you're like eight years old. You put your finger over the edge. My God. That's what it is and just but it dude it just

yeah but and uh nut just jizz went everywhere like a big cloud of it what is it what does beluga well jizz look like just like ours just more yeah pretty much and all And all these kids were like Well So here's what's funny to me Is that the bluegill whale is also a two pump chum Can't have brains And be good at sex He had a little more than two My man had at least five or six. This pussy's too bomb.

Wait, wait, wait. Did you see that? There was, I don't know, it was probably clickbait or some bullshit, but there was like a tweet. I might even have it pulled open. Here's a smart condom that tracks thrust speed and velocity and lets you share the data.

Look at this. The icon. The world's first smart condom. Let me ask you a question. Did you tee up the Beluga story just to pull that tab up? I feel like I've been had. No, no. It all fits together.

That's my podcasting genius. You really think i'm that good you really think i could i was looking at this sir oh it's still weird man i'm good i'm good enough to bring who is the guy that would actually share that data who buys smart condom i don't know but the the hilarious thing is that they equate thrust amount with sexual proficiency or sexual

excellence. What? I can go ahead and tell you. Those aren't the metrics I care about in my performance. Exactly. The funniest part about that, though, is that it's shareable. You can tell your friends about it.

32 pumps. 32? Good job, Greg. I was having dinner with my wife last night and I saw on my Icon app you got 34 pumps in last night. Good job, buddy.

Good job, pal. I don't know. You're getting better. I guess if it leads to more Male bonding Then maybe that's good That's gonna lead us to dunking on dude Yeah good point

32 pumps You're a 32 pump chump You're right You're right Males don't We don't praise each other a whole lot Yeah you're really right We don't we don't praise each other a whole lot yeah you're really right our whole relationship is predicated on dunking on one another

yeah you're right that was interesting yeah you're right we do have like a I mean really what do we have to really praise in each other, though? You know? Nothing good. Tom, good take.

Good tweet, man. Good take, man. I mean, I don't know. We dress pretty, you know, run-of-the-mill. We dress very economically. We're not flashy or anything. we're not trying to make a statement so we don't really have anything in that room we can compliment each other on what would we theoretically compliment each other on the irony of that is that we could just actually

compliment each other on actual things but since our friendship is mediated by irony we can't have sincere connection. I'm just kidding. Is it better that way? It's not really, folks. That was a meta commentary. Just cut this. I'm out of opinions today. You're out of them, man?

You're out of this? I've got nothing else to add. All right, all right. Thanks for listening, folks. That's all.