Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 465: Air Chud

Episode Date: October 8, 2026

This week we chat a little about televangelists, folk heroes, and Israel's tone deaf commemoration of Oct 7, folllowed by a lengthy cinematic retelling of a political disagreement at an Ohio dog park. Support us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/trillbillyworkersparty

prepared for the end times now that Jim Baker's dead. Well, it's good planning that we invested heavily in his doomsday beans a couple years ago, though. So why he's not here with us in the flesh, he casts a long shadow. Could you say that he met his own personal doomsday, perhaps? Being shuffled off this mortal coil? Well, Aaron, you could say that. I think his own personal doomsday was when he finally got busted for, like, fidelity in the 90s.

Yeah. Interestingly enough, Tammy Fay, his longtime wife, who departed before he did, she, despite growing up Pentecostal in the South and claiming to raise chickens from the dead as a young girl, that's when she first knew of her power. She said that, I got that mixed up with Dolly. Dolly Park. I thought Dolly Parton. No, Dolly said she jumped over a fence and cut all of her toes off on a glass bottle,

and her dad had to sew them all back on. They should, that would be like a good, almost like, we should start describing supernatural stuff to Dolly, and I'm sure people will, but someone in the next 10 years will say Dolly raise someone from the dead, right? For sure. Well, the thing about it is, is like some people, you kind of, like, when I was a kid,

I was like, man, how did, like, people like John Henry, who was like a real guy that lived or Paul Bunyan, like, how did they get, like, such, like, bigger than life status. Actually, I don't know if Paul Bunyan was real, but I know John Henry was real. But, like, then you see, like, the thing was...

Sorry. John Henry wasn't real? No, I think he was. I don't know. I think you might... I mean, he was an abalgamation of a couple of things, probably. Wasn't he like...

It's kind of woke, right? That they, like... You would think that they would try to, like, make John Henry seem... Try to whitewash John Henry? Try to whitewash John Henry. He actually wasn't that strong. Yeah, yeah.

Actually, he was a scrody dick. Yeah, they're trying to bring him down a peg, posthumous. He looked more like me, actually. Okay, he actually is The historical accuracy of many aspects of the John Henry legend are subject to debate. According to researcher, Scott Reynolds-Nelson, the actual John Henry was born in 1848 in New Jersey and died of silicosis. Black Lone. You know what?

I don't believe it. We're not fact-checking John Henry. He was a real person. He was a real person. I always got him and Casey Jones. mixed up. Who's Casey Jones? Wasn't Casey Jones another railroad

guy? Isn't that the lady who killed their kids? Oh no, that's the different case. That's Casey Anthony. And Davey Jones is whose locker you go to when you

come to. Casey Jones, there's like 18 different Crateful Dead songs about Casey Jones. That makes sense. Man, I fucking hate the Crayful Dead so much, dude.

You don't like to say it. I fucking hate it. him so much. And I tried to, for a brief time, I tried, like, I tried so hard to, like, pretend like I liked them. Like, I hated them my entire life up until about 10 years ago. And I saw that Mark Fisher actually pointed out that, like, you know, dollars to donuts. Like, Iggy Pop, you know, took millions of dollars for, like, Nike commercials and all that dumb shit, like, in the 90s and 2000s. But Jerry never sold out. And I will hand them that. But the music still sucks, brother.

I cannot get into it. You just can't get into it. Actually, they did have a collab that came out last year with Nike on a pair of dunks. But they don't own the licensing on the... Jerry? I think so. They finally got my man beyond the grave. They were like, he's dead.

Let's moup in. I've grown to appreciate the dead more. I went in the opposite direction. I was on the tip of it's not for me, and I've grown to appreciate more over the year. So, you know, I'm not, I'm not going to say, like, you know, I'm out in the parking lots or anything, but I appreciate it. I like their band. Their band teas are pretty dope. Dude, they should have some John Henry sneakers.

They should have bunions. They should have, like, Air Force Bunions or some shit. They should have, they should have, like, a pack that's like American folk heroes. Dude. Pecos Bill. Throw Sasquatch are there for some reason? Yeah. He's on the same level.

Is that what LeBron was shooting for when he was doing? the side of MLK's death, Air Zoom generation. The air MLK's. Do you remember that, though, when he made them the color of the hotel that MLK got shot out? I remember those. Yeah, I remember you send me a link to that. That's crazy.

I thought that was fake. And I was like, damn, that was real. One of the worst design choices that Nike has made in recent memory. And that came a few weeks after LeBron said he hates going to Memphis. It's the worst city. It's like Okay I'm into talk about LeBron

On the Patreon episode With Kate Wagner But it didn't get around to it Whatever you're going to bring up Just that he's His polymarket deal He'll make more money From his polymarket deal

Than I think he Willed from a season in the NBA Like he Yeah It's $15 million a year This season he's expected to earn 3.9 million for playing basketball, but a 15 million a year deal with Polly Market.

That's more money than he makes from his sneaker deal with Nike. That's crazy. Nobody's by LeBron's. Well, I'd go ahead and tell you, sports are cooked. It's cooked. Went on tip and pitches this week, baseball podcast with our buddy, Bobby Wagner. And it's something that it just occurred to me is like, everything that I've enjoyed about watching sports my entire life has been thoroughly rang out.

I'm crotchety about it now. So we have to make a tombstone that says the date of the first ever Olympics. Sports. The date of the first Olympiad to October 8th, 2026. We had a good run. I feel that way about televangelists. Everything I enjoyed about it is not, no longer around. And Jim Baker dying is like the best, like, it's like the best end of a, the closing of an era.

the ending of an era. Like televangelists just aren't. They don't have that sauce, man. They don't have like the special sauce they used to have. They don't have that juice. Do you think that? Go ahead, Tom. No, I'm curious, like, what their proceeds are like these days.

Because you know all those old guys that we grew up watching, like, we're eating good off them, like, telephoned donations and shit. Yeah. I wonder if they're still bringing in the loot like that. Or it's like, you know, we talked about the guy a couple weeks ago that had, like, the app, like the AI, pastor. assistant pastor guy or whatever or like his AI avatar or has the new technologies change the game up they'd be better off making Patreon you know they probably would I mean the way that they

made money was through old people like old people who were shut-ins all day and just had a landline and so they would just like fucking call and you know pledge card number over the file yeah so it's like I wonder if the decline in landlines it's like a part of probably a weird transitional era where like fewer and fewer people have landlines and not to say that old people can't you know call on their cell phones but um i imagine today's televangelist probably wants you to hit that vimo and old people probably can't figure that out they got a QR code QR codes yeah QR codes well let me ask you have viewing habits have changed too you know yeah that's true too yeah yeah he's watching TV I my question is is modern rent society as it was did were the televangelist first to the game. Because you call them, they would lock you into a monthly donation. It wasn't just like a one-time deal.

They would try to hard sell you into just like doing a recurring charge on that card. And a lot of people, my mom was a faithful partner of both Kenneth Copeland Ministries, Oral Roberts Ministries. I used to cut weeds just to send Kenneth Copeland money. That's true. I wonder if the norms in other realm. like other walks of life prohibited people from being that openly like rentier driven you know what I'm saying like just there's probably something dishonorable about it like then but now it's just the normal way of doing business uh-huh I say this as we have a rent-tier model ourselves but at least we never signed people up well at least I don't think so I don't think the Patreon like locks people into like a year deal that would be tight like I didn't even know that this whole time the Patreon locking people into like five-year plans.

But also, too, we don't carry the false promise of, you know, restoring, you know. Your soul? I've made that claim on this program no less than eight times. Well, and then I guess the other part to it is, too, it's like we've also, it should be noted we've never raised our process in almost 10 years now. This is true. It's true. Contrary to inflation. I have not.

It's funny how every region in America has their own little like folk hero. Like John Henry, Paul Bunyan, Old Pete. Who the fuck is Old Pete? Port Tampa, Florida. And then there's Pekis Bill in the Southwest, fictional cowboy.

Pecos Bill's an amalgam of guys or just not even a real guy? Not even a real guy. I know I had my questions when they said he could ride tornadoes, but I thought maybe some guys can do that I know only two guys in history have done that I think it's Muhammad and Elijah that's right

I wrote it right until the afterlife they should make like an extended cinematic universe of American folk heroes and they'd be like the Justice League or the street friends Enick too, Enick, Enoch Elijah

the prophet and Peakeosville the only four guys to ever like die or to ever go to the afterlife without dying. I didn't know that in the Bible. He gets taken up by a tornado. Sort of.

He's old as fuck, dude, when that happened, you know that was hard on his joints. And his hips, like riding around that tornado? Oh, no, it type me up, though. It sure it could have, like, lined him back out, like, chiropractic. Like, he fucking, like, snaps all of his shit. He landed back down, jumping around and shit.

Uh-huh. So some of the things. these urban legends, we're not urban legends, some of these, what do you call them, folk heroes? Yeah. Some of them got national purchase. John Henry, Paul Bunyan, Peacottes Bill.

Others, like, old Pete just enjoyed regional success. Yes. The hell's old Pete doing? I don't know. I think John Henry is a little region-specific too, though. I think it was like... To the South, right? I think John Henry was like West Virginia, Virginia,

like the first frontier, like the Appalachian. like the Appalachian like railroad when they were starting coal mining and stuff but see John Henry's like one of the coolest I don't know many other American folk heroes

but he has like a hammer man just walks around with a big ass hammer I know that's better than Peakey's bill's fucking lasso is a lasso Paul Bunyan had a massive blue ox so that's pretty good at Coochall Oh yeah that's true that's true

did he ride that shit? You got to ride the ox brother That's tight dude well let's start the show fellas there's a few items I want to hit and then I have a reading I have a piece of literature that you guys need to see one of the most in my opinion I don't want to hype it up too much maybe it'll be boring

maybe by the time we get to it won't even be maybe we'll find it to be distasteful. Won't be relevant in 20 minutes. Maybe it won't be wrong with 20 minutes. But it's pretty good. I thought I was kind of like hit all the perfect notes. It hit all of my interests and the themes we've been working at for years on this show.

So I'll just go ahead and tease that out for a minute. But before I get to it, I wanted to like cover a few items. The first is that we're recording this October 8. right uh the uh october eighth 2026 the day after that fateful day in october two thousand twenty three and i want to say that like um if you know you heard me just introduced that and say well terence where is your deference where is your um reverence where is your um sense of of of uh proportionality and like respect for the dead i have to point out that the state of

Israel itself and the prime minister of Israel could give a fuck about what happened on October 7th as best exemplified by this tweet they made where they tried to turn the events of October 7th into a Lego film.

Did you guys see this? That is insanely diseased, deal. It's like the only people going to release the October 7 set now? Is that coming out for all ages? Dude, you just occurred to me. Is the October 7th thing going to be like, you know,

like there's 9-11's kids' books and stuff like that? Uh-huh. Or is there going to be kids' October 7th books, and they're going to say it was as big as three 9-11s in there or whatever? Is that like what we're headed for? Is there going to be a Lego set? Is there going to be a... Dude, a Lego set would be...

A commemorative box set of all the artists that were playing that day? I saw some... footage. I mean, like, I totally forgot that there was footage from the Rave Festival. And so someone posted a video of it. And there's like, you know, maybe like a hundred of these like disgusting settler hippies like dancing under a tent. And like overhead, there's like all these like Hamas fighters on like paragliders. That's awesome. I just forgot about the juxtaposition of like those images. Like I forgot how like surreal that was. But like, like, Again, if you say that I'm not showing enough respect, nothing comes, nothing I can't say on this program or half set on this program for the past three years comes anywhere close as to being as disrespectful as turning the fucking, the thing that they've said is the worst event to happen to Jews since the Holocaust into a Lego, like an AI Lego, Bill 2 by the time. Even more half-assed. It's like more half-assed than you could possibly imagine. I mean, what it is essentially is that you are infantilizing, right? This, like, as again, do you said to her, this event is the worst thing to happen to Jewish people since the Holocaust and you're infantilizing it, you know?

You know what I mean? Like, I mean, I don't like that. Hey, listen, if that's the argument you're made, you got to keep that energy for yourself, too. If the Bush, if after the, if after 9-11, the Bush propagandist, the Bush propagandist, the Bush, the Bush, administration propaganda set down and they're like you know get fucking our best animators in stop motion animation like let's get Pixar on this shit get some pics are on this shit like get the best we've got to come up with like you've heard of cars now plades that that that while distasteful at least it would have some bit of like human effort behind it because we had

worked on it we had we had children's books made we had like airbrush really dark really dope like graffiti like you know what I'm saying never forget 9-11 with the eagle looking past it look really dope on the side of a band that stuff okay whatever that's fine but of AI Lego's yeah at least that stuff they put human effort and work into but just someone in the prime minister of Israel's up in Netanyahu's office just sitting down and be like oh what will make people have sympathy for us like they're so psychopathic like I keep coming back to that like so many times Kind of like what's so stunning about the video is like it's clearly meant to be Evocative of or reminiscent of those videos Iran had made right like earlier in the year of The actual live action videos? Yes No no no no no that didn't wasn't Iran making like AI made propaganda stuff too like like Lego videos and stuff? I'm not sure oh shit. I don't know do you remember Iran yeah yeah but that that that worked that would be a crime against good taste if we were not rooting for the Iranians.

You know what I mean? It's a matter of perspective. When the most loathsome people on earth do it, it just makes it more loathsome. Well, and also the subject matter, like the Iranians were just kind of like fucking around, like, you know, fucking with Americans, fucking with some like norms. Like, to make an AI video of this thing that you say is like a horrific massacre, it's like, I guess what I'm saying is that like it kind of gets at like, like, the heart of how Israelis

view both humanity and humor like I always come back to that character on Good Morning Vietnam who thought that like you know who was like juxtaposed with Robin Williams character like the really unfunny radio host who thought that the way to be funny was just to like do routines he had seen other people do

and didn't know that there's like some other element of like humor involved you know in humanity involved in he just thought this like you could just plug and play this guy's routine and not It's funny when this guy does it, but maybe when nobody else doesn't. Also, too, I do think the, if I've never heard of the Iranian Lego video, but I think that probably fits their perspective of Americans. You remember, I thought they would do like the AI rap videos with the Legos,

and they were like shooting bombs at the statue of Bell. It was like back in like May. I think you were, I think it was during a period where you were offline, and I also was sort of offline and missed it. But Alexander Avina is the one that brought it to my attention. But see, that just, I think that just sort of maybe, maybe I'm going too deep in, but I think it expresses the view that the only things that we understand as Americans,

like is culture, you know? You know what I mean? Like our biggest culture. And where we find sentiment, too. You know what I mean? It's like Americans have had the experience of like having an emotional response to something totally market driven. And you're like, why do I feel like warm and fuzzy about a Coca-Cola commercial or something like that?

Right. You know what I mean? And like is, that's easily. transferable to the Israeli. Yeah, with the Iranians, I think it's... You have to kill the American in you constantly if you're going to be, you know... If you're going to have any progress in this line. Yeah.

I think the Iranians are ridiculing America or I think the Israelis generally find that kind of schlock entertaining, you know. They find it entertaining and... Like I said, like they think... Okay, so the tweet is from the Prime Minister of Israel's office. The tweet itself, the caption says, terrorism is not a game. Remember October 7th.

Not a game, literally making it a game with AI Legos. That's a children's game, brother. I just keep, I get like, again, it kind of, it just shows you once again and it's got like video images of like Lego, a mother, Lego and child, like, huddling in fear

as like Hamas militant like points a gun at her and plants bombs and then it's got like the It's like, it's like the Israelis are almost like a species, of aliens, you know, that don't understand like human humor, you know what I mean, what I mean? What most people on the planet consider funny and in good taste, you know? Yeah.

Like maybe they torture themselves to near death on their planet and that they come here and they try to do the same thing and people are like, that hurts. That's not funny. You're killing me actually. Well, on a related note, we're taking some heat on the internet right now for, you know, the segment we did on the, um, the, uh, um, um, um, um, um, Israeli plumber that was the hero of the UAE plane situation. Yeah, this person who in their bio refers to themselves as a left libertarian Zionist environmentalist said,

I was listening to the podcast recently and an episode of the Trailbillies came on a show. I've never really enjoyed listening to, but subscribe too long ago based on recommendations of friends. That's probably a bot than more I'm looking at it. they were guffawing it up at the attempted airplane hijacking and the idea that there are Israeli plumbers that's not that's not the joke brother I mean Israeli Mario is kind of funny though I thought it was good but maybe is again maybe some people find that a crime of poor taste anyone with two brain cells to rub together knows what the joke is the idea that there are Jewish working class people like plumbers fuck these leftoids so what I just want to say to you is the joke

The joke is not that there are Israeli plumbers. I know there's plumbers in every society. The joke is that an Israeli plumber could pilot an aircraft to safety under extreme duress seems highly implausible. But he knocked out the hijack with the Bucky Reg? Come on, bro. Yeah, and that you think we're so goddamn stupid as to, you know, buy that. The joke is even more banal than that. Like, the joke is that, like, it's so canned. It's like they like tried to do a sort of like almost like a move you see in American politics a lot where they know that the only way to make something like normalized is to like put the words in the mouth of like an everyday person.

Remember like Joe the Plummer? It's like very evocative of Joe the Plummer. It's like. Speaking of. Yeah. I mean it's like the point is like they went. The joke is that it's so obviously overboard on like trying to find. an everyday man you know an average Joe that like could do this extremely

heroic thing yes and and furthermore the joke was also that like you know Mario is a plumber yeah that's really that's really the crux of the joke the thrust of the joke also too I'm sorry this is like when fucking I saw this video today actually on CNN this segment they feel good story where this cop helped find this woman's lost dog this little Latina the lady, you know? And she's like, oh, thank you, sir. Thank you. At a time when law enforcement is colluding with fucking ice. You know what I mean? It was like, I see what you're doing here, brother. It's like a feel-good cop story. Fuck out of here. I'm not

taking that big deal. Don't insult my intelligence. I'm not taking my leg. Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining. That's my favorite shit. I love it when people do that. There's working-class people in Israel, too. Like, yeah, no fucking shit, dude. You know what I was like. Working-class people in Nazi Germany. Did you know that? Did you know if there was a Nazi plumber? That's the whole point.

They're still all psychos. I mean, I don't know what to do. So you're going after the Nazi baker now, bro? The man who makes his sweet, his sweet, delicious pastries. Who just happens to live in Nazi Germany? I'm sorry. Oh, man.

Yeah, so I didn't know we were taking heat over there. But, um. No, we took a heat. We took a heat. No locks on that. A lukewarm coal. Yeah Gaffa

I don't know I do Gaffa though That's a good Description of my life I do Gafar Wow Yeah

Yeah There's some good stuff Right Like Um Um Uh That you know

So yeah I don't know October 7 That's It's The day of the music Die The day of music

Dike literally Um The The Uh Yeah I don't know Anything else

to say, did we see anything else going on? Oh, the Department of Justice announced a task force to combat anti-Semitism. On the first stop of the America Tour Against Hate will be in Southfield, Michigan on Wednesday, October 14th. The tour is the first of its kind federal initiative, bringing government resources and officials directly to local communities experiencing hate and discrimination. Who's facilitating this? The Department of Justice. Okay, so law enforcement. Johnny Law

Yeah The law, okay Famously not full of neo-Nazis It's like a merry bit It's like the seventh seal Is it was that movie Were like Ingmar Bergman

They like death Traips is through the medieval What's that Tom? Pastilence Yeah like This is basically The anti-Semitism Tass Force

Like they'll be coming to a town Near you And uh locking up anybody that doesn't buy Sabrahamas Yeah Doesn't own a soda stream or have a criminally bad taste in electronic music. I just cannot get over.

I cannot get over an AI Lego video of October 7th, dude. Like, dude, can you... Just like, again, I said this so many times, like, they can't help themselves. Like, they're so psychopathic. They think that, like, they have these very bizarre ways of, like, trying to, like, garner sympathy with the American public. And it's like they don't understand, it's like, they don't understand, like, what in, like, what makes a sympathetic character. Yeah. You know what I mean?

But, like, but for some reason, the American public is so cucked by, like, in times eschatology that they kind of buy into the idea that, like, oh, the sore winter must be the guy we need to get behind. It run and contrary to everything that, oh, the God of my Bible was preaching about in here. Which is why I've said that, like, a lot of American evangelicalism is, like, their Bible is the Old Testament. You know what I'm saying? And they share that with Jewish Zionists. For all Zionists, Christian and Jewish Zionists, their Bible is the Old Testament, right? Yeah. That's kind of like the best. That's also kind of the case for the Confederacy, too.

You know what I mean? like there's a lot of overlap in these things. Yeah. Well, then they jump, they sort of like skirt past the Gospels and just get right into like End Times Eschatology. So it's like the, it's like the Old Testament, but only in so much that the book of Daniel connects to the book of Revelation. Yeah.

And not really what was actually written and read. The Christ's words are, you know, purported to be Christ's words in the Gospels, you know. Skip over that part, you know. Yeah. Well, okay, so what else do we got? Speaking of any time, eschatology, Trump threatened to nuclear strike San Diego and Los Angeles. What's going on?

What's going on? Are we so, are we so, this is how you know it's over. This is how you know it's over. It's almost like, you know what's really kind of scary about it? You know how, like, Trump kind of has some tails? Like, he'll kind of give the game up a little bit. It's almost like he's privy to like a false flag coming to like L.A. or San Diego. Yeah.

And like he can't help himself because, you know what I mean? He's just like a little chatty Kathy, you know what I mean? Like how he'll just be like showing dearly departed Japanese prime minister, Shenzhou Abe in his first term. He was just showing him stuff at Marlaug on his phone, like nuclear code stuff or something like that. He's like a terrible gossip, you know what I mean? Like when Trump says stuff or when Trump gets something on his mind and. can't quit like just referencing it you know like on the campaign trail when he just kept referencing hannibal lector no he's like he's like by saying a show like this sometimes he's just

like an evil tv president you know you know like taking greenland i'm thinking of taking greenland by military action just like just threatening nuclear strikes like what's going on here man yeah yesterday he's like i could do terrible things to baroque obama and hillary clinton if I wanted to. Which is kind of like, I mean, that's pretty half-ass because that was the whole point of his 2016 campaign, like, lock her up, and then he didn't.

And like, he's just kind of replaying the hits, but they're just like a lot. Like, I was telling a friend this the other day. Like, the way he has treated the midterms is genuinely one of the funniest running gags of all time. Like in American politics, the way he clearly just does not. give a fuck. He openly says he doesn't

really think about it. He doesn't really care. No, dude, it's like gas as high as it's been and forever. Like, everything is like falling apart. He's just like calling people losers. He's like, it just... Well, why would he... Trump is not like a team

player, you know? Exactly. So he doesn't really give his shit. No. What he's doing helps or hurts anybody down ballet, you know? He's already got the bag, you know what I'm saying? It doesn't matter how the Republican Party does after this. That is really the kind of central contradiction of the GOP, which is that they're a victim of their own success.

It's a monkey's pot situation. They rode to victory on the co-tells of this guy who just so happens to be one of the most selfish self-centered, maybe the most selfish self-centered person in human history. The arch narcissist of our time. The avatar for NPD. Yeah, like for them to be able to have a future, you have to lay groundwork for that.

And he just doesn't give up. to have an individual who thinks outside of himself and for others. And Trump is pathologically incapable of doing that. You know what's funny? No one else exists to him. Corey Robin wrote that book, The Reactionary Minds several years ago. And his thesis was that the reason that Republicans can kind of be wildly unpopular,

but continue to win elections and, like, kind of more or less stay within a range of power and all this stuff, or at least control the levers of government, is because of their ability to sort of be malleable and kind of read the trends better than Democrats can. Democrats tend to be behind the trends. Republicans tend to be able to see what's coming down the pack and adjust accordingly.

He's going to go ahead. Cory Rob, I'm going to go back to the drawing board after this Trump shit because they, you know, which is not great either that we're going to have like a millennial reign of fucking, you know, John Federman's, you know, like in some ways that's like almost bleaker and also way less funnier. Yeah.

But, yeah, I don't know how the Republicans recover from this long term. No. I like him doubling down on it, too. I was like, I really wouldn't care if missiles struck L.A. and San Diego. And then, like, two days later, he was like, yeah, I said it. And I'll say it again. I don't give a fuck. You know what he's really thinking, though?

He's thinking that if there was a, like, it's like the old, like, ramblings of, like, a madman. He's like, well, if it did hit Los Angeles, we'd probably win California. then because that take off the liberals in California. He's like, I'm not going to order that, but if somebody out there wants to do it. I just kind of put it in the air. I just kind of wonder if the Republicans eat shit during the midterms,

if what that means for like Trump's legacy, I guess, in MAGA, you know? You know what I mean? If there's any sort of, um, if there's any sort of like trying to rehabilitate him from the right after that, right? Or if they'll blame him at all. There'll be rehabilitation of him, but it'll be from the Democrats, probably. So, like, what I mean by him, like, not given a fuck, like, simultaneously not given a fuck,

but then also being so self-centered that he can't help himself. Like, he went to, he's been in Texas recently trying to help Ken Paxton in that race against James Talarico. Is that the guy he keeps kind of vaguen? A vegan, yeah. Quote, quote, trying to help. Quote help. And he gave a speech last night for Ken Paxson and spent like a solid 80% of it just talking about himself

and his own policies and like all the things he's accomplished. And then like a month ago, they held this midterms convention in Dallas. You remember this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which every political consultant on the right and the left was like, why would you do this? Like, the conventional thinking is like, you never hold a convention going into a midterm.

If you're an incumbent administration, because, you know, traditionally a lot of incumbent parties don't do well in midterms. But then also, especially if you've launched a really unpopular war and your approval ratings, like you don't want to do a convention because it just reminds more people of why they hate you so much.

But he can't help himself because he's so self-obsessed. I don't know He does have At least a minor league You know Baseball stadium full of people Like Chudge is clapping like seals For like $5 gas

Oh yeah I mean he's like we don't care about the five That's not right Yeah Oh yeah So that's just clung shit though That's just a different thing That's a different pathology altogether

Mm-hmm Well I have had one more thing I was going to cover, but actually us talking about that is really good for us to just segue right into the thing I was going to read. I was going to cover that Palmer Lucky quote about how we need to be giving everyone oxytocin so that they can be in good relationships now. Did you see, did you guys see that? Yeah, it's, um, I, I don't, I, I, uh, I don't know, maybe, maybe that's what, it seems very Philip K. Dickian, like, it does. Like you go to the, the, the, the, the,

facility. Yeah. And like in order to consummate your marriage, they give you like a small little pill, you know, a little pill. Don't you think it's kind of funny the links that we will go to keep the, the hoary masses, like at least, you know, within a range of content before just like embracing egalitarian society? Yeah.

Like it like, like, you all realize in the long term to like treat everybody's home like a Vegas casino where you're pumping oxytocin in through the AC unit is going to probably cost way more than just. Just a mild gesture towards social democracy or something. That would pacify most people. Well, do we're creating a whole general, especially as like when you become a parent, you notice it way more.

But like just being out like, you know, with other parents and their kids, like the just generally speaking, the most insane kids, like least well-behaved kids, their parents are on their phones the entire time. Right? Like, it's just kind of a truism because, you know, children need attention. They need to feel like that you're there and present and want to be part of their lives.

It's just like, I see this and I'm like, dude, generation of mass shooters, like straight up. Did you see this tweet exchange? I got to show you. Program to kill, literally. Yeah. Did you guys see this tweet exchange from this guy, Alvin Singh, A-L-V-I-N-S-N-G? Hopefully this is real. It looked real.

Like I went through his page and it seemed to be. legit. My wife, can you read our baby a book? My wife, can you read our baby a book? Me, I can just play an audio book from my phone. My wife, but then it won't be your voice. Me, I can train a voice model. Parenting hits different when you work in AI.

And then someone responded, they were like, shouldn't your first instinct be to read your baby a book willingly as a father and spend more time with him? He said, I do want to spend time with me, baby. There's even a chance I'll choose to retire early and spend all my time with my kids. I'd just rather spend that time cuddling, feeding, and playing, and automate the things that don't need to be around for.

That's insane, dude. That's insane, dude. Yeah. Well, maybe it's a good thing. Trump's cutting the humanities off, and maybe just the whole academy will collapse because then there'll be no place to do school shootings. I mean, people will go after, you know, China, you know, as a prime example, for cracking down on social. media or technology use among young people, you know, and among certain people, you know, like, you should maybe have a fucking degree in the field or area of, quote, expertise that

you're talking about before you put it online, you know, that's one of the things that they've been cracking down upon, but it's just on, but it's just like, we've just sublimated actual interaction, you know, and what it takes to be like a social person and become sociable and that sort of like just, I don't know, just talking to people, you know, getting to know people having like a back and forth conversation and interaction we've just sublimated that with screens you know oh dude i'm i've become such an extremist about it that i i i genuinely think that we don't need to just ban phones for children we need to be we need to ban them period like they children smart fans smart phones yeah we need to ban children we need to ban phones period like it's

it is a it is a social contagion even worse than cars and I hate cars right like it's fucking worse than cars or dogs yeah it's dude it is so so bad but it's funny how no one even that's not even remotely floated like we're gonna find out right obviously in 50 years 20 years 10 years that these are just as bad as cigarettes and they lied to us about the harmful impacts of them both socially and probably physically I mean it is radiation you never know but like it's it's it's just it makes me wonder if like the increase in colon cancer isn't from literal phones like putting them in your pants pockets and stuff you know what i'm saying because there's been there's been an increase in colon cancer

recently people are like it's the protein and it's like but how do we know it's not our phones we carry them around close to our bodies now you know yeah how do we know it's dangling right down there by the by the power you know i'm not going to get ball cancer you know ass cancer for putting in my back pocket yeah it's just reading i've i told you erin i've been reading re-reading philip And it's just like this genuinely like the most depressing like grim dystopic futures imaginable. But while I'm rereading it, I'm like, dude, he was optimistic. Like compared to what we're actually getting, like he was actually optimistic. It's really stunning.

Philip K. Dick was like one of the kind of proto-siberpunk guys, you know, before like became like a, you know, I guess self-defined movement in the 80s, you know. But a lot of the cyberpunks, they, you know, took inspiration from him. J.G. Ballard, but I think that, like, I don't know, I'm thinking about, like, this AI kind of future we're headed towards this midstopia that we live in now. And I realize that those cyberpunk, you know, dystopias were really kind of mundane, you know, and almost like, sort of quaint compared to where we're actually going through now, you know? Well, I've had the same experience, like, watching horror lately.

Where I'm like, ah, this used to, like, do something to me or, like, you know, kind of unsettle me and stuff. And it's like, now it's like, I don't. find it like it's just not doing the same and part of that's just because I'm older right and you know I don't necessarily believe in things that go bump in the night exactly anymore but like I've noticed that in watching horror lately where it's like this just does not do for me what it used to do it can be fun right or whatever and I still like it I still enjoy it so I'm not knocking that but like I couldn't tell you the last time I've been frightened at like a fictional depiction of like somebody's situation or the world or

whatever when I weigh it against the one that we face in our like normal life. Right. Like it just ain't like you're going to have to like do something crazy. You know what I mean? Or or certain shit. Sorry, it's good. No, go ahead. No, I was just going to say, Tom, I used to just cap that off.

Like certain shit I watch, it's like the opposite effect where I'm like, this is way too real even though it's like, like I was watching They Live for example. And I was like, yo, sans the glasses. This literally feels like living. in America today, you know what I mean? Like I guess people would call these people NPCs who the aliens are supposed to be. I don't know, I don't really don't favor that term,

but it's like, yo, you need to put the glasses on, brother. I'm not going to besmirch our alien overlords like that. Insulting. You need to put the glasses on, brother. Yeah, no, totally, totally. I'll tell you something that isn't, I'm sorry, Dan. No, go ahead. I just wanted to float this to the panel

because I was chatting with a friend of the show last night and I got put up on game about these Russian chimera viruses that they viewed in the 70s and they're still been floating around that acts you in five days. And for the first couple of days, you're like totally fine. But then if you try to do what I call the American way of doing medicine where they prescribe you an antibiotic and if it works, it was probably bacteria. If it doesn't, then it's a virus and you just might have to let it pass anyway. If you try to treat these things with antibiotics, it releases a neurotoxin in it.

so you spend your last couple of days not at the wheel, you know? What the fuck? And it seems topical now because, you know, obviously I don't know if y'all been monitoring the situation like I have with this, what they call them the Russian plague. The Russian plague, which I saw a headline this morning said that RFK's Health and Human Services

gave this lab where this plague originated $800,000 and gained a function research fund. Yeah, it's like in Siberia. What have they incubated Like the culture inside of RFK's body He was doing He isolated that worm And he's a train

And they made it Arisolized He's actually patient zero Yeah We all end up talking like him That's like You go out and say like Yeah

Face looking like salami Yeah You spend your last day Playing with a severed raccoons dick My God look at him Look what he's become Anyway

I don't know if y'all been paying attention to that But it does I'm not trying to be a doomsayer or anything like that But I've got a renewed interest in Viruses Pandemics, epidemics and so forth Because it does feel like the earliest rumblings of COVID Where it was like, oh, it's just like nine people in a lab got this

I mean it would I guess it would track In the sense that like we ended the first Trump administration with the virus and, you know, in the second one with one as well. Let me ask you a question. The big one. The big finisher. Trump is already on the highway to becoming the worst president of all time.

I mean, I would say he's. He's cleared that bar. I don't know how you quantify these things. I mean, there's the Iraq War. There's George W. Bush. I know what a lot of people's push back. Andrew Johnson. Andrew Johnson.

There's been a lot of genocidal. presidents, you know, okay? And like, I guess if you're just looking at pure numbers, there's guys that are worse than Trump, whereas Trump has just aided and abated a genocide. I mean, there's a guy who died within a few weeks of becoming president. Who's that guy? Zachary Taylor, I think. You got that ran with William, uh, no, William Henry Harrison, right?

Henry Harrison, yeah. He got pneumonia and died. Tipped canoe and Tyler, too. That's a bitch-ass way to go. Yeah, you can't know that way. But, but like, if you had two terms and at each term, you had a pandemic that killed millions of people in each term, I just don't think that

the world over. And you presided over the response both times and the same result happened. I'm not sure that... Yeah. We're so fucking stupid, though. We'd probably vote for him a third time. I mean, this country.

I mean, I say we. I mean, this country. Actually, the reading I have is perfect for this. I'm going to take a... You'll mind if I take you just a second? Because I got to go pee real quick. Yeah, yeah.

Go ahead. All right. This thing I wanted to read is perfect, perfect segue into this, talking about Americans and how sort of clueless and just sort of like wandering into the woodchipper we are. And also it's topical because this is a story about dogs. And it's all about, it's kind of everything, I think. It's got everything. Okay.

Dogs, cars, leaf blowers. Dogs, leaf blowers. Yes, it's got it all. This is from the New York Times. They argued about Trump at a dog park. Then they pulled their guns. The dogs? Y'all, I don't know how much time y'all

how much time y'all spent in dog parks in the last several years. I've seen some downright insane things happen to these places. Well, I was, we were, My partner were talking about this yesterday What is the fucking deal with like Why is there so much tension at dog parks? I don't know. A lot of people

Should have been bringing their dogs to dog parks Because they're not fucking about it. Here's what I think it is. I think only about one in ten dog owners Should be owning a dog. This is the thing. People misinterpret my position on dogs. I am a strict authoritarian.

Like people don't understand this. My thing about AI smartphones, my thing about cars, my thing about dogs, even guns. You should own, like only a very small percentage of the population should have access to any of those things. Your beef is not with the dog, the animal itself. Your beef is with the people that train them to,

or unwittingly make them like little chaos agents. Dogs are killing machines. People are like, oh, pit bulls, you know, definitely put some regulations on pit bull. Dude, I've seen Labradoodle snap and, like, fucking try to rip out someone's jugular. Dogs are fucking killing animals, man. Yeah, that's not, that's not,

that's like, you wouldn't just give a four-year-old a gun, you know what I mean? Like, yeah. A lot of people get dogs and just can't take care of them, and it's just a worst situation for the dog, you know. Listen, I love, I love dogs. And I was- Not only, not only can't take care of them,

but like, we're so divorced from any kind of, like, natural, from any kind of the ecological basis that we don't understand, like, they are animals that require. specific they have certain needs they have certain like behavioral traits like these are not things we just like it's not like something you just program and set and go it's not you know this is not just your support emotional support animal which if you have one that's fine but it's also a living fucking thing yeah you need to put ever lies on you training your dog

whenever I had a dog I had a I had a pit bull I took it to training and it I thought it was kind of funny at the time but the trainer took us into this big like big top tent looking thing. It looked like they would have like a circus or something in there. And she brought in like, this is funny. This is kind of proto-woke in a way, but there was like a black trainer there. There was a trainer in a wheelchair there. There was a trainer like a Samoan or Pacific Islander person there.

And the idea being that they wanted to expose a dog to every possible type of person they could encounter. So you can't be like this dog is racist. Dogs do get people. In a wheelchair? Yeah. A wheelchair? There was a person there, like a dog trainer in a wheelchair there. They could get increasingly arcane with identities.

Like, here's someone with allergies. Here's somebody with pot. Here's a dog trainer with pots. This guy's old. Yeah, this guy lives in a neighborhood with medium income. What was that, Kamala tweet? Like, if you live in a neighborhood with... Start a small business.

Start a small business. Yeah, here's a small business. who lives in a neighborhood $35,000,000 median income. Yeah. Here's somebody that's a leper. You know, you increasingly expose people to dangerous pathogens because of the... I think actually dogs, I think dogs are, can be trained or are aware to some degree of, like, when you have certain diseases, you know. Well, you know, and I, it's funny to think about now.

Yeah. It's funny to think about now, but it has some base. like some legitimate basis because you don't want these dogs like snapping at black no I don't want to race his dog yeah I don't want those races but I don't know where I was going with that we got to tear down the road

a bit but anyway yeah people people just the issue is not with dogs the issue is with dog owners and like treating an animal that could potentially be dangerous with not the right amount of care and

the attention that it needs and everything. And also just like, you know socializing, you know what I mean? I think that people get dogs and they either haven't socialized them well with other dogs or with other people. They're just not good. They're killing machines in an age of alienation.

That's what I'm saying. But. So when I would go to the dog park, I became kind of chummy with a French horse jockey named Julianne Lepel who had two what? Massive German Shepherds that he would call in perfect French.

Okay. And they were like, and this is a man that like handles horses for 11. So he knows what he's doing. You know what I mean? Like this is like a guy of Ritchie character right here. This guy is not a stranger to animal husband. Yeah. So like he's good.

He can have his dogs there. But then you bring a guy that just like lets out a German Shepherd on elite. And then what you have happen is these potentially dangerous situations with these dogs lock horns and stuff. You're bringing all that crazy energy, disparate energy into like a enclosure. It's basically the Roman Coliseum. Sometimes you'll have like a

19 year old geriatric chihuahua missing an eye and most of its teeth. It's like everybody's afraid of that. All the big dogs are afraid of that dog. Dude, that's why... Go ahead. Go ahead. I was just going to say, in this story there's no dogs locking horns. There's only

people. No dogs pulling guns? Hold on a second. This is a classic example of it's not the dog just the dog owner. I saw, but hold on a second. I saw a bunch of Irish stable hands that had these bull mastiffs almost chain whip a guy because their German Shepherd tried to come after. Yeah, like they went out to the truck and came back and they were yelling like things

and like that heavy Irish accent at this guy. Everybody was against this guy. And every time he would show up, people would just leave in mass. So Terrance, you might have had your way. You might have had some influence. They ostracized this guy by bringing his fucking badass. German Shepherd there. And you feel bad for the dog,

but you can't be bringing a fucking, you know how strong fucking dogs are? Oh yeah, dude. Yeah. Anyway, fuck you up. I think it's, point is, like, bringing all that crazy energy

to a dog park is combustible elements, even for the human. Yeah. It's a site in American society where tensions run high, where people are a little more agro, social friction is a little higher,

Um, it's the chaotic third space, brother. It is a chaotic third space, right? There's poop everywhere, so that you're already dodging landmines all around. Pathogens all around. A lot of spit. Yeah. Um, okay, they argue about Trump at a dog park. Then they pulled their guns, New York Times.

Before any criminal, before any criminal charges were filed, before any weapons were drawn, before anybody mentioned the president, a dog named Bob wanted to go to, wanted to go to the park. A dog named Bob. A dog named Bomb. Bob's owner, David Matai, had the week off from his job as a forklift mechanic. Mr. Matai, 55, first tried taking Bob on a hiking trail, but the Spaniel refused to walk. So Mr. Matai drove to his favorite dog park in Bainbridge Township, Ohio. Man, this is one of those, like, missed... Like, the dog is kind of at fault here.

The dog would have just fucking gone on the goddamn hiking trail instead of insisting on going to the fucking park. at a at a picnic table inside that park that April afternoon was Emmanuel Matthews 80 and his corgi Frankie Mr. Matthews well I'm just confused

I'm just like it's throwing you off because the dogs have human people names so yeah is there a guy named Spy Correx in there yeah you're right like what are the fucking they don't have dog names like

Fido or something well this also proves our thesis about man becomes animal, you know, for a couple of weeks ago. It's like, it's all running together. We can't keep straight who's hoon. We're becoming feral. We've been becoming feral since the pandemic.

We want to be animal. Daw's going to start walking us, brother. Mr. Matthews was retired from a career as a meat distributor, and on the days when his back wasn't causing him problems, he was a regular at the park. He had brought a copy of the Wall Street Journal with headlines that included Trump grapples with fears on war. The events that unfolded over the next 20 minutes, piece to from interviews, records, and body cam footage would be unusual.

Would be unusual, but hardly unthinkable in a country where political tensions so often combust. Two men, one black and liberal, one white and conservative, would disagree about President Trump. Their disagreement would become an argument than a screaming match and then because both men had gun in their cars, guns in their cars, a crime. Lassie, go fetch the gun. He goes to a whale and just pulls a super soldier out of him. Oh, you're talking tough now, huh? What happened at the dog park, and who is to blame, will soon be scrutinized by a judge and jury

as both men face the possibility of time behind bars and grapple with the lifelong consequences of division turning violent. Likely to take the stand in both cases is Jamie Jedlinsky, 70 years old, the singular witness to what went down. Okay, so this is perfect. This is perfect, all right.

Mr. Mattai, he's the one with the dog Bob. He's black and liberal. Emmanuel Matthews is 80. He's white and conservative. And Jamie Jedlinski is centrist, as he says here. You'll say it in a second. The 70-year-old centrist? The 70-year-old.

A 40-year-old virgin? That is impressive That's impressive You didn't believe in anything For your entire life, bro But Here's the central irony That's why this story is so good

That's why this story is so good Because there is an irony here Because Mr. Jedlinski Decided to speak out about something For once in his life And he set in motion The whole train of events chain of events.

Mr. Jedlinsky's mother had taught him that you didn't have to tell people who you voted for, so he never did. If someone brought up politics, he would usually change the subject to birding. But on this day, Mr. Jedlinski and his pit mix, Willow, had walked into the park

and greeted Mr. Matthews with whom he had become somewhat friendly over the years. Okay, so we've got Bob Willow and Frankie. Okay. Bob Willow and Frank. I don't remember the people names, but okay, I remember the dog days. When he noticed the newspaper

in Mr. Matthews' hands, he decided to gesture to the headline about the Iran War and he said that sucks don't it Mr. Matthews Mr. Matthews who goes by Mike disagreed in his cardigan he began to discuss his support for the president's choices Mr. Matai who had arrived moments earlier in sweatpants was listening he considered himself a democratic socialist before it was trendy he owned a collection of bumper stickers with messages such as Trump is a felon and Hicks don't mix with politics. Okay. In this in okay. Oh, come on. In his solidly Republican patch of Northeast Ohio,

he considered it his moral duty to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable. So this this guy's, in my opinion, the most interesting guy in this story for reasons that will become clear. I don't, I'm skeptical of his whole I was a Democratic socialist before his school. And I'll show you, I'll say why in just a minute. Also, I just want to add to like just sort of those descriptors, you know? Like, what do you say, Hicks? Like, what was that? Hicks don't mix with politics?

Yeah, just like, I guess what is that, a rag on rural people? And then also just, like, going, him being anti-Trump, but then being couched, unabreled under the term democratic social, I'm a democratic socialist. This is what they do when they get to define

the left's politics, you know? They just don't, all these kind of disparate things that don't really align with, you know what I mean? There's an interesting story here, actually. I think you're right. right, Aaron. There's an interesting story about, like, what I think is an interesting story in recent American politics, which is like the mainstreaming of the word Democratic Socialists, which has only really happened in like the last six months. Like not even under Bernie,

Bernie's first two run campaigns. Did that really happen? It was just kind of like an oddity. Like, oh, he calls himself a Democratic socialist. But like it's kind of become something that a lot of Democrats now, who I think are along the more like no Kings adjacent, you know, part of the political, like very liberal, progressive, maybe even New Deal type liberal, you know, obviously support more socialistic. They're not rad libs by any means. They're just kind of like really pissed off liberals.

That word is, that term has kind of become more mainstream, but anyways, Mr. Matai, again, this is just, it's so perfectly American, man. It's like a Philip Roth story or something. Mr. Matai, who had struggled with alcoholism for most of his life, would later say he had been drinking that day. So this also works too for our show because I've been saying for years that the liberals are the most alcoholic people on the planet, right?

Like they're just in denial. So this works for the Trill Billy's schematic of American politics. Mr. Matai decided to butt in. Trump is the worst president in history, he said, to which Mr. Matthews replied, Trump is the best president in history. The spat quickly grew in intensity and volume. At one point, Mr. Jedlinsky recalled they were saying, you shut up, and no, you shut up.

Just two guys mad at themselves, mad at the world, Mr. Jedlinks. Where there are dogs barking at each other as well while they were yelling at each other? Yes, yeah. They both wanted to yell at someone, and they ran into the perfect storm where there's somebody yelling back. Mr. Jedlinski was relieved when the younger man finally heated his advice to both of them to let it go. Mr. Matai leashed Bob returned to his Hyundai and began to drive toward the park's exit

But then Bob started to whine Man You did The goddamn dog's fault The dog damn dog man Like he needed that fucking dog part Dude All of this could have been avoided

Um Your Honor It was the dog Yeah Euthanize him your honor Yeah Instead of bringing in the Mayliff, they bring the dog catcher?

Take them away. Dude, I saw this. We went to the ice cream shop last night, and they've got dog ice cream there called Dogsters, Ice Cream Style Treats for Dogs. It's like, man, I mean, they want. Come on, bro. No, come on.

Y'all never experienced the pleasure of dog ownership. It is nice to get you hounded. Oh, I have experienced the pleasures of dog. I grew up with so many goddamn dogs. That's all we had growing up One of them bit the shit out of my ear Maybe that's where this comes from That's a little

Like Cocker Spaniel we had Name Charlie Charlie And he would not let go I don't even care to remember his name I think Charlie or something It was it was traumatic We had to get rid of him

Because he bit my ear And wouldn't let go for like 15 minutes And they could not get his jaw Ockers are the most aggressive Actually They're fucking yeah dude Was it Charlie Holyfield He Mike Tyson did

Yeah Dude, I'm telling you. This whole fucking shit, it would be a great movie. It makes such a great movie. Or like a short film, because it's got some great action in it, like a good action set piece is coming up, okay? Mr. Matai recalled telling his dog, man, you really did want to stay at the park,

so he turned his car around. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. You're yelling at the movie screen. No. No. Some of the specifics of what happened next remain in dispute. But Mr. Jedlinski, Mr. Matai, and a lawyer from Mr. Matthews agree upon a certain set of facts.

Mr. Matthews declined to be interviewed for this piece. Mr. Matai entered the park again. I've said all that I need to say. Mr. Mati entered the park again and told Mr. Matthews that he should be the one to leave. Mr. Matthews began to make. Matthews began to move toward his Cadillac, which was adorned with a corgi sticker. When he made it to the other... When he made it to the other side of the fence, he turned around.

Did your mother drop you on your head? He asked, you talking about my mother? Mr. Mattai responded. He reached... He can't be talking about a brother's mother. He can't be. He reached across the fence and grabbed Mr. Matthews by his grayish white hair. Mr. Jedlinsky pushed them apart and told them both to go home.

Well, the three men were putting their dogs in their cars. Mr. Jalinski heard Mr. Matai say, Oh, you've got one? I've got one too. Then Mr. Jadlinski heard gunshots. Mr. Matthews had a 45 caliber handgun in his hand. He fired first when he pulled the trigger a second time. No bullet came out. Mr. Matai had a 9mm pistol in his hand in his car.

He fired back at least four rounds. The bullet sprayed across Mr. Matthew's car and into his open window as Mr. Matthews drove away. They pierced his doorframe and the driver's seat, missing him by inches. Dude, I'm telling you. This is like... Dude, they narrowly avoided

like a life-altering altercation over the dumbest possible shit. At a dog park. So Mr. Matthews, the older guy, the white conservative, fired first. He did hit Mr. Matai. By the way,

it'll get to that in a second. Mr. Jedlinsky crashed behind his will and called 911. It escalated, he told the dispatcher. When a police officer arrived, he found Mr. Matai splayed on the pavement. There was a bullet in his...

lower back where Mr. Matthew's bullet had entered. And another in his abdomen where it exited. The passenger side door of his Hyundai was open. Bob was in the front seat, unharmed, tongue out. Tongue out. Okay, the dogs are okay. The dog's fine.

That's the biggest. That's all the people that are like, I don't cry when humans die in films, but I do when the dog. Those people are fucking loons. That is. I guarantee you. I get it. I get it this sad on the dot, but like, you know, you can watch eight motherfuckers get mowed down and you just totally desensitized to it.

Okay, so like in our film, all right, this is like where the screen goes dark and then you like it. It's like, it's like in reservoir dogs where like it cuts and like the next scene is what's his name bleeding out in the backseat of that car. Like, oh, fucking die. Or it's like the guy doesn't know he's hit. Does he like does the guy live? I don't want to be insensitive. Oh, he lived, yeah. I said, fine, can he, like, walk and everything? He's fucked up, but I think he can walk. He's had to do a lot of physical therapy, I think. Holy shit.

So anyways, all right, this is the next chapter. Chapter 2, I shot him. Mr. Matthews peeled out of the parking lot and drove toward the Bay... This is the only thing the New York Times has ever written that I'm like, this is pretty good. Mr. Matthews peeled out of the parking lot and drove toward the Bainbridge Township Police Station.

In this area of Northeast Ohio, where the Cleveland suburbs begin to meet rural farmland. Mr. Matthews was familiar with law enforcement. Before he retired, his meat company had provided burgers and cutlets for police events. Feeding to pigs, pigs, okay. Just like the Burger Reich, like, this guy, like, knew... Supply chain for the burger. Yes, he was a critical node in the supply chain for the Burger Reich,

and thus knew a lot of cops. He had made it about four minutes up the road when he saw a Bainbridge Township police cruiser, siren on, coming toward him. Mr. Matthews stopped his car and flashed his lights. The officer pulled over. You go into the shooting, Mr. Matthews asked. I was part of it. The officer, whose body cam was rolling throughout their interaction,

confiscated Mr. Matthew's handgun, patted him down, and removed a piece of paper from the pocket of his cardigan. That was my list for the day, Mr. Matthews told the officer, this wasn't on it. He quickly... I can't show you. This is my proof. There was no premeditation.

I did not add shoe to my motherfucker and the dog parked him out. So he did try to bribe the officer with like a tasty snack. Somebody needs to have. It's like you can make us all go away. I've got some 80-20 with your name on it. Can't get some sausage links in my pocket? He quickly informed the officer of his local connections. The cops he knew, the poker game he used to play with the former police chief,

and the fact that he happened to be living with the mother of the county's top prosecutor. tutor. Before long, Mr. Matthews was telling his side of the story from the back of the police cruiser. He lifted his handcuffed wrist to wipe tears from his eyes. There was a small cut on his cheek. He said the other man had not grabbed his hair, but also had butted him, had not just grabbed his hair, but also

head butted him before they went to their cars. He did not say who pulled a gun out first. I said, I feel my life is in danger. I said that because I know that's what they say, Mr. Matthews told the officer. And he went around the side of his car and started coming at me, and I shot him. at the police station

he kept talking as the officer confiscated the cross around his neck the Greek coin ring on his finger and $890 in his wallet God damn! Do we got cash like that? What? What?

That's a bad thing? He'll belly Gus Fring or something. It sounds like. He's like a booster to the police you know, and all this stuff. Gus Frang? Yeah, Gus Frang.

Yeah, Gus Fring. Gus fring. That's fine. That's a bad thing I did, but it really wasn't. I'll say, I'll just want to make sure I get this right. Who was the first one to say, oh, you got one? I got one too. Was that the lib or the conservative guy?

I don't think the guy knows, right? The guy who heard it? No, the lib, the lib said it. Oh, the lips said. Oh, you've got one. I've got one too. Oh, well. But the conservative was the one that shot first.

It seems like that's the agreed upon. So the Democrats started it, but the conservative finished it. Technically, technically the centrist started it by saying, that sucks, huh? About the Trump botching the Iran war. Technically, the dog started. Okay. There's a lot of blame. There's a lot of blame to go around.

Technically, humanity started it when we domesticated. the dogs. Five thousand something years ago. We're all accused here. Anyone who owns a dog, it's your fucking fault. That's a bad thing I did, but it really wasn't, Mr. Matthews told the officer. This guy had a gun in his hand. Yo, can I just say real quick?

Dude, I love this story especially because this guy is the perfect archetype of the crotchety old conservative. who shoots the door dash driver that's trying to back up into his driveway, you know, after he made the wrong turn. Just the most paranoid, violent, pro-ed, you know, like anger bubbling, like just not even deep below the surface. Well, that's built into the whole genocidal land acquisition thing. People have, like, are just programmed to have, like, a murderous response if you set one unwelcome toe on their, like, black top driveway or something.

Yeah. Like, have you ever, like, turning somebody's driveway on a country road and they come out and, like, Give you the stank eye. Yeah. It's like, motherfucker, I ain't driving seven more

goddamn miles to fucking find a turnabout. Like, come on. Right, right. I did lose my temper on my neighbors

for continuing to parking my driveway. That's different from two seconds that's turning around on your driveway. I did ask them nicely several times

before I was losing my temperate, but I still didn't shoot anybody. You didn't go out to get the gun, no. In the back of the police car and while being booked,

You did strong on him. You did insinuate you had mob times. I did. He went out and shook him down. I was just trying to have a human to human. If you're selling drugs, I want to cut, Jam. In the back of the police car and while being booked, he asked four times about the well-being of his dog, Frankie.

He did not ask about the condition of the man. he shot. Okay. Before, before you think about opening fire, you know, you're not thinking that the likelihood of responsibility to fire back and your old dog would get injured. You don't get fuck about your dog either, bro. You don't get two shit. Pretty small dogs. Congress, Spaniel, a corgi, and I forgot.

Oh, pit mix was willow. Smallish. I mean, it depends on what it's mixed with. Depends on what it's mixed with. I mean, it could be like a fucking pit German Shepherd mix. A pit chihuahua mix. It could be a pit mastic mix. Yeah, I don't know.

All right, this is the third section, third chapter. We've seen this movie. At the hospital, Mr. Mataie's wife, Sally, couldn't stop crying. The doctors had explained that her husband was in an emergency surgery, and they couldn't say for sure if he would make it through. When he did, Mr. Matae learned that the bullet had torn through his intestines and fractured his spine. He had a second surgery the next day. It didn't surprise his wife to learn how the confrontation at the dog park had started.

It was politics, in part, that it brought her and Mr. Matai together about a decade earlier in a face group where they shared memes. Mr. Matai had told her how he had immigrated from Guyana at 10. He become an American citizen and joined the Marines. He worked as a paramedic in California until his alcohol addiction cost him his job. When the two met, Mr. Matai had moved in with his father in New York and was trying to start over. He went to welding school. when he moved to Ohio to be with Sally that lived on nearly four acres

in a rural area they flew a Kamala Harris flag in 2024 but took it down the morning after the election one of their neighbors he said I solemnly walked outside and folded it up and burn it like his American flag

that touched the ground that's why also I'm saying like I'm a little like something that I've tried to something I've tried to like hammer home on this show, I think, for years. It's like a lot of people are like, oh, Americans have the most like,

uh, incoherent, like political values, except for me on the left, the perfect leftist who has the most coherent group of political values. And I don't think that that is true. I think that that lesbian bar article that we covered was one example of that of how like people's, people are so kind of incoherent and all over the place.

But like this is kind of another example. Like, well, or me and Tom knew a guy who called himself a communist. in Whitesburg, who called him the real communists. Like, I'm even more communists than those Trillowellies guys, but was like a bog standard liberal like, you know what I mean? Like, it's like

a word or a signifier they use that doesn't have any real meaning. But I wonder if it's the same thing with this guy in like Democratic socialism. Like Kamala Harris fan in 2024, but I was Democratic socialism before it was cool. It's like... Yeah, yeah. Maybe.

I just, I don't really understand like what animates these people anymore. like the centrists or whatever, other than just like class hostility toward like Trump voter, like poor Trump voters or something like that, which again, I mean,

I'm not saying that the Trump voters deserve, you know, any quarter, but it just, I just don't like, I don't kind of get where their movement is like right now entirely. Who? The libs?

Yeah, I guess it's just because, I mean, it might be the same thing it's always been, but I guess maybe since like quitting Sierra Club, I don't, like I'm not as dialed into the, system as I once was on a daily basis.

I think it's a mixture of several things. I think that there's like no king's libs who are like really pissed off. Trump is their animating is pretty much their animating feature. Yeah. There's like rad libs who we've, you know, been running around with for, you know, at least since the Obama era. There's DSA. I don't want to say those are libs.

But it's kind of like bird. been like not every DSA or it's a lip but not every but every live wait that's not that's not that scratch that they kind of remind me of like they kind of also remind me you're cooking there just got felt fuck you got to work they just remind me of the people who were like into Elizabeth Warren but not yeah white Bernie but they eventually I mean yeah maybe had some beef with Bernie supporters Bernie bros you know but eventually they ended up being like oh well you know I wonder I'd like to interview the people that got the the Holocaust tattoos and the Elizabeth Warren and like Pantone color.

Yeah. Were they? That was super. They got the, yeah, they got the hex code of the Liberty Greed color. Yeah, yeah, yeah. History moves it to, like, well, simultaneously doesn't move at all,

and it also moves at a fast clip. Like, I guess it doesn't move at all in the fact that nothing changes, but just the characters and places and, like, movements change very rapidly. You shouldn't commit that to your flesh. No, no, no. Yeah. Absolutely. It almost too, I know this is like kind of pre-AI, but it almost seems like an AI hallucination that you would like do something like that to yourself, which like likens those tattoos that people, that people during the Holocaust got, you know what I mean? Jewish people, that's just really fucking insane, you know? Like you just throw it all into a blender. No, these are Warren supporters doing it now. It's fine. I wonder which one is more offensive. The Lego AI video of October 7th or the Holocaust tattoo in support of Elizabeth Warren.

Better question, which is funnier. Oh, which one's funnier. Okay. The tattoo. Because it's in service for Elizabeth Warren. Like that one is like a multi-layered onion. It's like fucking, you just pill it. It's like rich irony, the deeper you go.

If I ever see anybody with that tattoo and I didn't have any idea of like the war thing, I don't know what I would have thought. Like did you escape like an asylum? Like, asylum is something like? You remember the movie Harold and Maud? Oh, yeah, yeah. The, the, the, the sort of like, climactic. reveal of that movie is when

Harold realizes Maude was a Holocaust victim and the way he knows is because something about like her shirt or something like sleeve goes up and he sees like the Holocaust tattoo stamped on her arm it's like is that going to happen in like 60 years but with like an old

Warren vet who's like like a Harold and Mod like set in like 2040 something it's like oh you were out there trying to kneecap the Bernie Sanders Anyways One of their neighbors

They said kept up a cardboard cutout Of Mr. Trump showing two middle fingers Now, Mr. Matai's wife felt certain That what had happened to him was a result Of Mr. Trump disparaging minorities I mean, I agree with that I don't think that if this guy Mr. Matai was white I don't think that this would have gone down that way

I mean maybe maybe but I don't I don't, I think that that is a part of it. Also, too, I don't know if the Matthews guy's doing this on purpose, but it's just convenient for him to be like being chummy with the cops, you know? Yes. And like spreading around his like, you know, he's like, oh, you know, I shoot black people too. You know, something we have in common. Yeah.

Dude, it reminds me. There is this character in Faulkner's Light in August. Like, it's just so. perfectly nails this archetype and shows that this archetype of person's been around since fucking forever. Like this kid named like Percy Grimm, like he's so pissed off at his parents that he was born too late to be in World War I. So he like takes it on himself to be like a kind of like citizen vigilante. He's got to bad guys. Yeah, he's got to earn his way.

And it's the same thing with this guy. Like this is how this guy like earns his stripes. he was a supply chain node for the burger right we've seen this movie before the whole I feared for my life because it was a black guy crap she said her husband agreed he initially told the police

from his hospital bed that he had not touched Mr. Matthews and did not speak to him after seeing his gun Mr. Matai later told the New York Times that he had grabbed Mr. Matthews by the hair but said that that had been the extent of the physical contact I just yoke them up a little bit, you know? Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on a second.

Matthews is black? No, no, no, Mr. Batiaz. Really? Yeah, wait, did you get it confused? I got it fucked up in my head. This story keeps changing and taking new... Well, it's confusing because both the... If you were writing this story, if this was fiction,

my suggestion would be, as an editor, like, don't make the two main characters have M names. Yes. You know what I mean? That's why it's a little confusing because it's Matti... and Matthews. It's very similar names.

It's actually I think the same name. It's actually, I think, the same name. Just in France versus X. You're right. Wow. That really puts like a weird kind of twist on it. You know, like they're doppel gagers of each other.

Yeah, it's like a sci-fi story now where it's like two versions of the same guy are at war with each other. They met each other. Yeah, exactly. The New York Times that he had, oh, he later. told the New York Times that he had grabbed Mr. Matthews by the hair but said that that had been the extent of the physical contact. I was in the infantry for 10 years, Mr. Mattai said. If I had headbutted him, he would not have driven off.

He said, I'm going to fuck that dick up. Listen to this. Listen to this, though. Okay, hold on. Before you make any reactions to that, listen to this. Though Mr. Matai told the times that he had served in the Marines for a decade, the Marines said his length of service was less than a year. Asked about the discrepancy, Mr. Matai apologized. saying he had become accustomed

to embellishing his military record because he was embarrassed about his past. My bad for added an extra zero. Sorry, it was one year. One year. Not ten. It's like the facade I made up for the world. He said,

I didn't want to tell them that I just kind of had this life of a bum. Two weeks after the shooting is from a time of... That's like... Yo. That's sad. I know. Also, to your point earlier, Terrence,

if Matthews is the kind of guy he wants to be a citizen vigilante you know like this is there's like two ways you can go as an American right yeah to be subscribed into the American mythology either you become a warrior you know and if you can't do that you know you you sort of

embellish right in another direction I guess you become a citizen vigilante or you become I guess like a fucking cop you know or something similar where you get to lord over people and have power over others you know as a way for your own fucking moral fail, personal failings, you know what I mean?

You can channel that impulse into all kinds of different ways. Right, right. It kind of gets at, like, these guys are kind of, like, too, I didn't really think about that before, but they kind of are too, man, it's, like, very kind of trippy. Like, they're kind of the same guy at different stages in their life, but granted, obviously ones. Even the similarity that they're actually having the same name, sort of, and then, like, also, too, like, they're both, like, insecure about their, like, service to society, what they deem.

Yes. Like, yes. Having been like respectable servants. That's true. They're both, that is exactly right. They're both insecure about like their role in society and what they think they have or haven't given back. And it happens at a dog park, which famously dogs are a surrogate for like, not the dogs they have necessarily. Although I've seen some, you know, pretty wild corgis and some definitely, you've had an experience with a Cocker's ban.

You know, obviously. So, but it's interesting. Yeah. It's like. A surrogate for what? What were you going to say? Dogs are surrogate for what? Like help? No, there's surrogates for like protectors or like watchdog, you know, whatever.

Yeah, well, yeah, and just help too. Just right, right? Like any kind of, like their work animals. It's why they were ostensibly why they're domesticated, right? They all had jobs at one point. We're not talking about dog unemployment. If they had a job, that's whatever. With dog unemployment nearing about 93%.

But Tom, I just want to bring up, yo, that's really a good point that, again, that these guys feel like they haven't, like, you know, done their duty by, like, society standards or whatever. I don't know, man. It almost reminds me of, like, in Starship Troopers, the only way that you could vote was to become, I think, like, a citizen by going to war to fight this fucking alien bug. You know what I mean? Yeah. Well, they bake that into society. every society bakes that in one to just have like a pool of like impressionable young men to draw into like armed forces but two to create this sense of nationalism like i mean the israeli thing with how they have like mandatory idf service or whatever so it's like if you if you take the israel pill you basically become complicit in like crimes against humanity even if you're just like standing at a fence somewhere or whatever you know it same thing in the u.s though you know like the people that don't go there's like this long sense of like you know not maybe not for people on the left that see it as like being in service to empire or whatever.

But like, you know, I can remember like feeling like, oh, I never went to the military. So I'm not like a, man. I mean, I was like, you know, not team when I felt that way. Right, right, right, right. Yeah. You should, you should definitely shouldn't be an old man still, still. Thinking about the wars you had to fight it. Yeah.

I do, I do want to say that maybe this is taking things a little too far, but I do really think that, like, like this story sums up the spectrum of human, of American life. It's got everything. I think it does. I think it does. I think it contains it all. And I also think that like you really are one of only three types of Americans. You're Mr.

Mattai, Mr. Matthews, or your Jet Lindskine. You're the centrist. Who kind of like started it, but like also couldn't keep things under control when they got out of hand. And like kind of curse the water. And now Americans increasingly want to become the dogs. If we were, increasingly We'll become the dogs If we were to give this the Hollywood treatment

Here's how we would end it I would zoom out You'd have to add something about Mattie Matthew like shaking hand Like maybe Matthews brings him a Pepsi Or something and they like toast a Pepsi And then we zoom out And it's just me training my pit bull

With like the litany of identity People like All there back in the dog park They're clapping their hands For the two of them making up reading your book reading your dog book

like Ibrahim Kendi book book The anti-racist dog Yeah Yo that so sounds Like a 2016 Twitter account Yeah

Two weeks after the shooting Mr. Matai was released From the hospital He struggled to walk with a walker And had severe pain Down the right side of his body He needed months of rehab But first he had plans

As soon as he got home He said he poured all his vodka down the drain. Then he went to his garage where he kept his collection of bumper stickers, political bumper stickers. He threw them in the trash. From then on, he wasn't going to drink and he wasn't going to confront anyone about their political views. And then he called the dog catcher to come pick up the dog. It's this damn dog that got me a dog. Then he got the car and drove to the pound. Mr. Matai concluded that it must have been God who sent Mr. Matthews and his gun to the dog park to teach him a lesson. I needed

violence done to me to correct the path that I had put myself on. But still, as a black man, brother, as a black man, you should never say that. Ever, ever. No, you, you, you, you, you had that put in, you, brother. That is the first thing I've ever heard, apologize for getting shot by a white dude man. One of my, one of my least favorite tropes in, like, the male experience is, like, when somebody hits rock bottom or, like, hits, like, a very tough point in their life, and they refer to it as the best thing that ever happened to them.

Shut your ass off Getting shot by 70 old conservative Was the best thing that happened to be As a black immigrant Yeah getting stage 3 bone cancer Was the best thing that Shut the fuck Everything happens for a reason

Yeah everything happens for a reason crap Um But bullet says But still He still wanted to see Mr. Matthews sent to prison So at least you know He's trusting the American justice system to take care of it.

All right. That's the end of chapter three. Chapter 4. This is the last. My own life sentence. Mr. Matthews was charged... I'm sorry, I'm not trying to laugh at that. Mr. Matthews... Mr. Matthews was charged with felonious assault, a second-degree felony. If convicted, he could face up to eight years in prison and would be required to serve at least three.

After posting a $50,000 bond... God damn. He was released with a GPS ankle mom. Senator. His trial is scheduled for February. His lawyer, Ian Friedman, plans to argue that the shooting was justified. Under the Stand Your Ground Law passed in Ohio Republicans in 2020, someone facing an imminent threat of serious harm does not have to try to escape before using deadly force. He insulted my president, Your Honor. I guess I never really thought about like, yeah, that's your, it's so stupid here. I never really thought about like what a stand your ground law is. The stand your ground law, basically. basically like mandates that you just like waste somebody before you run away. It's like, hey, you better finish it before you leave the premises. Just kill as many people as you can, brother.

People are like, oh, we have mass shooters. It's like, gee, I mean, don't we kind of already have laws on the books, though, that, like, create mass shooters? Yeah. This case was never about politics or any other motivation other than Mike being faced with a life or death situation. acting to save his life, Mr. Friedman said, okay, bullshit. I mean, it's not like he just walked into the conversation or walked into a line

of fire, you know what I mean? And also, he drew his gun first. Yeah, that too. Yeah. Also, this has, you can make this kind of a bit of a western too. It's got kind of like a, you know, shoot out at O.K. Carrel type of fucking. But then it might be anti-climactic, but you said his gun didn't fire a second

time. Yeah. That's when the music pans in on his close shot on his face. You know what that, you know that's, you know that. You know She tells me, it tells me he just had that gun for the day he wanted to end. He just one bullet. He had one bullet in it? It wasn't for self-defense. It was to if things continue to pace, you know?

That's insane. I just like the image of him spraying the guy's windshield with bullets. It literally is reminiscent of that scene on Twin Picks the Return where they're in that, like, nice suburban, like, street or whatever. and they're trying to get Mr. C and spray the fucking windshield of the van and John Belushi's brother was, oh, there was fucking name.

Him and the other guy are like hunched down behind some hedges and they're like, people are under a lot of stress. That's kind of it. On the day he was arrested, Mr. Matthews told the police, oh, in recent years, Mr. Matthews had endured a heart attack,

a stroke, and two back surgeries. Now at 80, he was reckoning with the possibility of, of spending what could be his final years in prison. Oh, he's gonna die in prison, bro. On the day he was... I got to give you a little up there, bro. He's gonna die in the shit.

Listen to this quote from this guy. I like, he's learned nothing. Like, this is genuinely... Just suppose that with the other guy, Mr. Matai, who, like, you know, went home, threw away his political bumper stickers, drained all of his booze. Got rid of the dog.

Yes. I was kind of hoping this was going to end, like, in a true detective way. Like, they were going to become, like, drinking buddies at like a little water and hole together and just laugh about this and it's turns out no that's not what happens in america man um but uh but mr matthews i don't think he's learned anything from this it says um on the day he was arrested he told the police i should have been more of a coward and this wouldn't have gone this far it's like okay you what's like a coward

proposes that you i mean like i don't know like do you think that you were an danger over political discussion. He's basically saying, like, I was too brave and courageous. That's what got me into this. I was too much of a warrior. That's what got me into this whole thing. I defended by president too, too, too hard. Yeah, exactly.

Took the wrong lessons. Also, yes, Aaron, it shouldn't be like missed here that, like, what we're talking about is defending a rapist pedophile who's got gas prices to $6 a gallon. But also an arch coward. Who indirectly sent you to prison. through you defending him. Just taking all the wrong license from it.

Brother, I hate to breakfast. You're a cucked meat merchant. They should, the Trump administration. They should set up a fund like they have for the January 6th guys. But it's like for guys that end up going to prison for shooting people. Defending the president's honor. Defending the president's honor. You know what's going to be particularly hilarious?

He's like he's probably banking on if he does do time. Trump will pardon him in two years. Yeah. That ain't coming. No. No. He's going to send pictures of postcards of him and his dog to Trump from prison. Oh, man.

Okay. The local prosecutor, the one whose mother lives with Mr. Matthews, recused himself from the case and brought in the. Ohio Attorney General's office, that office was not asked to consider potential... This guy's like fucking... He's got, like... He's got so many links.

Like, he's not gonna see any time at all, probably, actually. You know, like... That office was not asked to consider potential charges against Mr. Matai. But in August, four months after the shooting, Mr. Matai received a call from his lawyer telling him that there was a warrant out for his arrest. He turned himself in.

The next morning, he learned that a prosecutor from another county had been brought in on the case. The prosecutor was charging... Mr. Matai with misdemeanor assault and disorderly conduct based on Mr. Matthew's claim that Mr. Matti had headbutted him. Mr. Matai faces up to six months in jail. Dude, that is some bullshit. Wait, you got shot and you go to jail? Exactly. That's a bullshit. What the fuck?

I'd say, I'd say that, I'd say that cancels each other. That's offsetting penalties. He said he was willing to plead guilty or no contest when he returned to court in late October if it meant avoiding jail time. He now walks with a limp and says he can't return to his forklift mechanic job because he is unable to lift heavy objects. I got my own life sentence from this, he said. He has not taken Bob back to the dog park. Mr. Jedlinski...

Pop, Bob. Mr. Jedlinsky, also another Twin Peaks. Another Twin Peaks reference. Mr. Jedlinsky, the man who tried to break up the fight, spent months away from the park too. He said he was so shaken up in the aftermath that he didn't sleep. He didn't remember seeing a headbut.

He couldn't say what Mr. Matai was doing when the bullet entered his back. He wasn't taking sides in this fight or any other. Well, it sounds like when the bullet entered his back, he was facing the opposite direction. Yeah, I guess. That's what it sounds like, because it said it came out, the bullet came by the bag. So the guy shot him in the back. Yeah. I mean, literally shot at the cowards mark.

God, this is got, this is, this story is so rich with so many much literary symbolism. It really is, yeah. It really is. And also the fact that, like, the guy, the centrist. says here he wasn't taking sides in any other in this fight or any other like the citrus guy like

when did this happen did this happen in August if so fight in August would be a good name for this episode this happened um what April this happened in April of this year call it April fools

they're April fools April fools they are fools April fools the April fools The April fools also to I'm not not going to deny that this wasn't, or deny that it was traumatic, right, for the centrist guy, whatever, who had tried to break it up initially. But it is kind of funny and kind of a very centrist thing to do when it comes to like, you know, geopolitics or just, you know, domestic

politics, wherever the case may be, that it's almost like they're the ones that are the victims here, you know, and that they're burdened with making decisions. And the best thing for them to do is probably step away and be neutral about it because that is the right decision to make, right? Or opinion to have? He says right here, this country is in a big divide right now, Mr. Jitlinsky lamented.

It's, you're either with us or against us. You've got to pick a side and hate the other side. Mr. Jadlinski had spent months thinking about that day. The guy that has picked no side is like, you've got to pick one side or the other. Well, he's saying that that's the prevailing sentiment right now. Oh, but he's like,

okay, I got sure. And I plan myself firmly in the middle where nothing gets done. Yes, he's lamenting that. Mr. Jedlinski can't live a life of cowardice like him. Mr. Jedlinski had spent months thinking about that day when his life had been put in danger. I don't know. Was your life really? You wasn't the one getting shot at, bro.

After everything it had cost the men involved, he was certain of one thing. Nobody's mind had been changed. The end. Including mine. Including mine, which I still believe. The center can hold. You know, they need to make, like, an Eddington-style movie based on this. Maybe called Edding.

It'll be called Dog Park. I think it makes sense. It's like, the April Fool's is just a great name just for, like, a Western. Yeah, yeah. That's a great Western name. Yeah, that is. It's good. It'd be like a new genre, urban spaghetti Western.

That story had it all. Dude, I'm telling you, I was reading it I was just like, this is, this is the platonic, Trailbillies. Yeah, cinema. The only issue I have is so they didn't ask the dogs for their, for their, what happened?

They didn't ask, all right, Bob declined to comment. He only licked his ass. When asked for comment, Bob licked his ass. He licked his balls. He started dragging his asshole against the ground. Just a human condition, man. The dogs are completely oblivious to any of that even happened, too.

His owner just, like, shot in the back and he's just sitting there telling me out. So you're going to walk me today? I can't. Hey, my dog, get your ass up, man. We got things to do. It's just bleeding out. But see, I think this also goes back to, you know, if don't let your dog control. show your decisions.

You know, if the dog was widened, because it wanted to go back to the park, well, too bad. Daddy's not getting shot. That is so true, dude. That is so fucking true. And it's like a good example of the, like, the heck and bupper culture that's, you know what I mean? Like dogs, people coddle their dog. I've seen people like meaner to their own children. Yeah.

And like, you know, more willing to say, or more willing to say no. Let's just say that, which is not being mean. You got to say no. But like you got to also say no to the dog Don't let the dog run your life You put a bullet in your back indirectly Or dude dog day afternoon That's another good day afternoon

Reservoir dogs or Bainbreer Yeah I don't do There's a lot of good fucking Best in show Best in show is great That's fucking great Usually we're trying to dig for

I'm trying to make sure we get the best on The good the bad of the puppy Oh man The good for the bad and the puppy I really like this is about Bobb The dog The lab in the corgi The pit

The pit the lab in the corgi And the poster We're just featured three There are three silhouettes of those dogs Having nothing to do with the dogs Oh my gosh We're like a Homeward Bound story Where the three dogs set off in a journey together

Because all three of their owners Got in like a Mexican standoff gun shoot And all three of them died Now we just got each other Yeah That'd be good Oh god damn That's such a good story

Yeah Oh All right Well we got to go But thanks so much for listening And if you like the stuff you heard On this program today please go to Patreon and sign up.

Go follow us on Facebook. And go follow it on your Facebook. Myspace. Myspace. You can sign up for $5. We'll get you all kinds of premium content. And so please go do that. And yeah, thanks so much for listening.

And anything to say before we go. No, just a... Spay and know to your pets. Spay and new to your pets. Bob Barker, that dog, he knew the whole time. Where does this get to lead? He's the only blameless individual. Bob Barker is the only blameless individual in this story.

That's true. The only one that acted virtuously. Well, at least toward the dog, it's not his name. Yeah. Oh, right, right. I think he was actually it. Was he a monster behind closed one? I think he's got, I think he's got an allegations.

He's got allegations? No, good. I think so. Posthumous. Well, anyways, spay and neuter your pets. Focus on the message, not the main. Yeah. Thanks so much for listening this week.

Everybody, we'll see you next time. Peace out. Peace.