Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 53: Baring Witness

Episode Date: May 18, 2018

In this one we teach you how to fight in the spiritual battle between heaven and hell!!

oh shit what do you think about this um let's just get right into it what do you think about this construction downtown whitesburg what the fuck is going on down there man i mean i i mean i like to see projects like that like road improvements and stuff like that but i think that we probably could have prioritized that a few pegs down in lieu of, I don't know, the leaching of sewer water into our waterways. Not Jesus Christ hologram. Do you remember there was a time in this city? This is how far things have gone downhill.

There was a time in this city when the idea of putting a hologram of Jesus Christ in the middle of the roundabout in downtown Whitesburg was a serious idea that was floated. That was floated, yeah. Also, another serious idea that was floated was to take all the schools. What's the opposite of retrofit? Upgrade? No, it's not an upgrade. What do you mean the opposite of retrofit? Upgrade? No, it's not an upgrade. What do you mean retrofit? The opposite of retrofit?

Isn't that kind of a paradox in terms of? Yeah, it really is. If you retrofit something, you're upgrading the facilities, right? I think if you're retrofitting something, I always hear it in relation to energy efficiency. Yeah, you're retrofitting your buildings for energy efficiency or whatever.

So it would be the opposite. That is kind of like a parkway driveway thing. I guess the opposite would be making your building less energy efficient. Like, no, we want this shit to be as rickety. Well, that's what I was getting at. Another serious idea that was floated was to change all of our heating and cooling in our school systems to coal fire. Coal fire as like a nod to our cultural heritage. Yeah.

That was a serious thing that was floated. And even some of the most staunch pro-coal people looked at this person that floated that and were like, well, let's not jump off the deep end. Yeah, that's not jump off the deep end. Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty funny. So yeah, no, that would be the opposite of retrofitting. Yeah. Where were we going with that?

The hologram Jesus. Yeah. What about it? Anyway. That was a serious idea that was floated in town at one point. Those construction workers. To beautify our town. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The construction workers. To beautify our town. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The construction workers,

me and Sylvia always had a joke that I would be fine with the hologram Jesus as long as it was black Jesus. Oh, yeah. Like a hologram of black Jesus would be badass. Like the artist rendering

and he's all dreaded out and shit. Yeah. But hologram for him. The hologram, yeah. He's ripped as fuck. The construction workers down there are assholes, man. I got into a fucking tiff with one.

Really? You got into an altercation? Yeah. With a worker? Yeah. How dare you? How dare you how dare you did you turn around did you turn around to he's like man i still think the revolution lies with

you but you're being a fucking you're being a fucking dick man yeah i beat his fucking ass listen mother fucker what was that you will he i they didn't mark off like they didn't rope off that parking lot next to the veterans museum yeah um and so on wednesday morning i was just going to work and i parked in it um and this guy ran up came out and gave you some sass yeah it was fucking he was yelling at me like i was an idiot like i like i was a piece of shit my god man what's wrong with you you're parked in a not clearly defined area no he was like you can't do this man you can't do this like he was fucking getting up in my face i said dude chill all right i'm moving it i'm fucking moving it hey a simple a simple hey man we're

gonna be working on her you care to move it down a few yeah but it got me worked up at fucking nine o'clock on a wednesday morning god damn man um but the funny thing was he goes i am chill man all right look at me i am chill he's fucking on like Fucking gas station crank Jesus Christ Testosterone was so fucking stupid dude I saw the flash in his eyes And I know he saw the flash in my eyes

You know what I'm saying You know what I'm saying You know the flash If the flash wasn't in your eyes He'd probably punched you Or vice versa No no no Yeah If the flash wasn't in my eyes he probably just would have backed down he probably would have felt really bad about it oh yeah you know

what i'm saying okay i get what you're going for now like he he engaged me like that and so i turned on that switch like i can go there motherfucker all right all right you want to go on a monday you want to do this all right let's fucking do this um what what's the you've been in a couple fights right or some sort of skirmish yeah i guess you could call it that what not really but what was your most memorable fight um my most memorable fight was with my brother um and uh you know i mean like you can't really call those fights even though they are actual fights um i've i've been in fights with my dad too but i i don't fight back there it's uh he's twice as big as me. His flesh burns at a temperature. In perpetuity.

Yeah, hotter. Exactly. Mine is just a rare spark every now and then. You've really got to push to get me there. People that have anger problems are kind of fascinating. They're just like. I think we all are kind of in the condition we're in. We're all kind of angry but i mean like yeah

murderously so right right you know just waiting for somebody yeah to fucking push you a certain way yeah yeah no i don't know um one time i was in the middle of a street brawl and that's one time i uh managed to escape it completely unscathed i didn't even throw a punch or anything it literally erupted in real time around me like that movie and children of men like i wish there would have been like a long shot of me exiting this it was at a party yeah um that spilled out onto a street and there was like 20 motherfuckers just fighting. Grabbing whoever they can. I've always wanted to, that is 100% what it happened.

I've not, I should say that I don't know that I've wanted to be a part of one of those. But I would like to be a casual observer of one of those. Yeah. Where like you don't even know who you're like swinging at. Like you're just, everybody's just so mad. You're just grabbing the first person. That's exactly what had happened, man. Me and my brother just like hugged each other. Let's get the fuck out of here, man.

Fucking B-line. Man, there was this guy I went to college with named Zach and he was like the biggest fucking dipshit. And he was like one of those ROTC, ROTC guys. Yeah. You know what I mean? And just like had the whole buzz cut and thought he was like one of those rotc rotzy guys yeah you know what i mean and just like had the whole buzz cut and thought he was just billy badass and i mean he was like a tough guy you know what i mean and uh one of my buddies at the time his name is greg anderson now greg anderson is

the brother of this guy kevin anderson who is like the number 12th ranked tennis player in the world it's it's greg british he's south africa south there's a british greg too there's like i have the number 12 ranked tennis player in the world. Is Greg British? South African. South African. There's a British Greg too. There's like, I have friends with several tennis Gregs from all over the world. Yeah, I've not been able to keep track of any of them, but it's fascinating that yeah, they're all foreign.

Yeah. Well Greg, Greg's brother is like one of the best players in the world, but Greg is like this like really kind of sweet, soft-spoken, like a little bit backward kind of guy. Like people used to kind of make fun of him in college because he was like kind of one of those guys that went through puberty a little bit late and his voice was like still changing while he was in college.

And this guy Shreddy just liked to fucking pick on him. And Greg is like a pretty, like he's about 6'4". Yeah. Like he's not like a little guy, but just, you know, couldn't find him on all this kind of stuff. Shuddy came out there. We were at the bar, George Moulton's Real American Honky Tonk. And this is, I'm just telling this because this is this is gonna be low payoff but this is

the closest thing i've come to to like an actual street skirmish uh-huh was like like three or four like fraternity dudes like rotc fraternity dudes and me and like a guy from south africa a guy from new zealand like the fucking un over here a guy from england yeah a guy from New Zealand, like the fucking UN over here. A guy from England. Yeah, Tom's rolling with NATO. A kid from Barbados. Yeah. Just all sitting out there and it ended up just being a pushing match,

but I don't know. I usually try to run as soon as, if I don't have like a vested interest in it. People get killed in these kind of things. You don't know who's gonna hit you over the head with a brick and you're not gonna wake up in those situations. I saw that happen one time. Hobbs was crazy,

man. There's all kinds of fights going on in Hobbs. Just real violent place. I'm wearing my Hobbs shirt today. You're raffing. Hardly home, but always raffing. I needed a clean t-shirt. That's all I got. today. Look. Hardly home, but always raving. Uh, I needed a clean t-shirt. That's all I got.

Um, but yeah, no, uh, so, this is a terrible way to start your Wednesday off,

your Wednesday morning off. Almost getting in a fight with some fucking asshole. Construction worker. Asshole construction

worker. Um, so shit, man. Long week, huh? Do you feel shamed? construction worker asshole construction worker um so shit man long week huh do you feel ashamed do I feel ashamed yeah that you yelled at a worker

always well I mean it wouldn't matter it would like anytime you like I said the thing with testosterone anytime you access that reserve you always feel ashamed afterwards.

Oh, always. You know what? Like, the clearest example of that, I think, is have you ever just been, like, grab-assing with your buddies, you know, like play fighting or, like, backyard boxing or, like, wrestling or something like that? And then it goes a little too far.

But then, like, they just hit you a little too hard when you're play fighting, and it just pisses you off, and you see... Oh, yeah. And then it goes a little too far. But then like they just hit you a little too hard when you play fight and it just pisses you off and you see. Oh yeah. And then it turns into a real fight. It turns into an actual real fight. Yeah. Yeah.

No, it's pretty dumb. Do girls do that? Do women do that? Do girls plug grab ass and fight? I don't know. Do they? I don't know. Do they like like do they start

fucking around with each other and one of them yeah I'd say that's a pretty universal human experience like that can't

just be a testosterone I've seen women fight tons of times but I don't know that it's like what happened in our apartment one time

oh gosh there was a there was a but um but but it does feel sort of like exclusive to testosterone to just totally or i don't know actually it's probably now i think about it it's probably more cultural it's

probably more a result of like patriarchy and stuff like the constant like walking around waiting for somebody to fucking look at you even you know remotely wrong yeah for so you could fly off the handle or you know what I mean this guy constantly fantasizing about some sort of interaction where you get to smash somebody's face and like curb stomp somebody yeah exactly I used to whenever like those like second wave feminist people that kind of like populate where we're at used to talk to me like they used to say like a common refrain was testosterone starts wars yeah and i used to say like well actually it just makes me grow ear hair and my

prostate become the size of a bowling ball but yeah but yeah i tend to believe that a little bit you think so well i'm i'm warming up to the idea every day interesting yeah why why is that don't press me on it i don't know i'm just trying to sound woke man oh man i do that all the time i did that the other day talking to you. You were like, what do you mean? Give me some examples. I was like, fuck, shut up. I don't know.

I don't know, man. I just sounded good when I typed it out. It's all a performance, right? Don't interrogate it any further. Well, look at this, like the haphazard sort of scattershot or scatterbrained way of approaching this week's episode I had. I don't really have anything prepared particularly other than some good speaker pieces.

Kick us off with a little... You want some good? Yeah, a little snake your snake your piece all right this one makes no sense at all i read it at least four or five times to try to understand what where the person was coming from or what hillary clinton sold america for millions of dollars. Stormy Daniels only sold her body, and she gets more news time than Hillary Clinton did. I don't know if it's like... What's the point they're trying to make?

Yeah, is it like, it comes out the gate sounding like Hillary Clinton's corrupt, and then it's just like, and then it sides with Hillary Clinton? And in the end it's... And by the end of it? Yeah, kind of strange. Kind of strange.

I say hallelujah this morning. Mr. John Kerry, what do you think now that a real man mr trump is negotiating for the united states he tore your treaty with iran right up in your face didn't he obama went around apologizing for america for what america fought for trump goes around and stands up for what america fought for thank god we finally have somebody who knows what america is and doesn't hate it. And as far as Mr. North Korea goes, I despise him, but at least they brought the prisoners back.

I don't know. Do you know what that's a reference to? Wait, say that again. As far as Mr. North Korea goes, I despise him, but at least they brought the prisoners back. Mr. Rocket. Wait, hold on a second. Didn't one of those guys die? Otto. Yeah. Mr. Rocket Wait hold on a second Didn't like One of those guys die Otto

Yeah There's been so many Like diplomatic Warm beer Things where we're like Trying to bring people back From North Korea or whatever Yeah

Didn't Bill Clinton Try to get like I think he did The prisoners back or something Didn't he fail Mr Probably Probably Yeah the silver tongue himself

Fuck it Screwing the pooch i say god bless america build our wall and protect this country i see more and more illegals in the shopping malls what the fuck in whitesburg shopping malls we literally have two things that could be construed as that and they contain a family dollar a mexican restaurant is that what he's referring to i guess and a fucking tobacco outlet they're spending more than i've got i thank god i'm in america and i thank god for our president his staff and our government every how do you say that how do you make an allusion to your poverty and then say you

thank god for your country, your administration, everything. Dude, I hear it all the time. I hear it all the fucking time. I was getting my hair cut the other day and this guy sitting next to me was talking to the barber and he was like, I hate talking about politics when I'm getting my hair cut. You can't avoid it. I swear to God, no matter where you get your hair cut, you can't avoid it. Yeah, because you don't want to distract the barber yeah or piss him off piss him off whatever yeah but um it always invariably happens but yeah this guy was talking about it's the same shit like oh they they and

it's the same shit as the racist lawyer guy the same thing which goes to show you that um which goes to show you that like the whole trump country thing isn't that really the perfect example of how the whole trump country thing you've got a wealthy well-dressed new york lawyer spouting off more ignorant shit that you than you would hear in the fucking holler oh yeah um you hear i mean you hear ample amount of dumb shit here but there's yeah systemic reasons i just love i just love talking people shitting us up to systemic systemic reasons um but uh yeah, this guy I was sitting next to at the, at the barber was basically like, yeah, um, you know, they're just taking food. They're just taking free food and benefits, healthcare.

They get free healthcare. Which is all nonsense. It's a perfect example of how austerity breeds reactionary. Yeah. Like, it's like, first of all, it's not true what you're saying. But second of all, you clearly want those things and need them, you know what I mean? You should have them.

Yeah, also, like, it's kind of funny to me just talking about what this guy says, that, like, we've divorced our, like, material conditions from our national identity. Like, it doesn't matter if you're the most end-of-the-rope son-of-a-bitch in the holler. Yeah. You're an American, ergo, you're still...

Yeah. I've still got something to lord over people, you know? It's just a little point of pride, and it's just like, I'd rather be living pretty good than ascribe any sort of... Dude, America's... ...be anything. We're pretty demoralized

right now did you see the video of that woman who threw her shit who shit on the floor picked it up and then threw it at the

I think it was like a convenience store worker or something at Tim Hortons Tim Hortons yeah is it a Tim Hortons that happened at Tim Hortons

Tim Hortons that's amazing I think it's funny I was some of my friends from college we got a little group text and I was like man everybody's brain is broken.

And then my buddy's chimed in. He's like, no, just some people. I was like. No. Just a few select. They just like, just some. Jesus. Every Christian in America now has the right to stand up

and say hallelujah to the Lord Jesus Christ. That never existed before Donald Trump. No. No, hell no. To a certain fellow from Pine Creek, you and your sidekick need to stay off of Sunset Strip. I don't know what that's in reference to. Is that a drug? Yeah.

Is that Suboxone Strip Is that a drug? Yeah. Is that Suboxone Strip? Suboxone Strip. Hey, you're probably right. That's just like code for it. What's your favorite slang term for a drug? Like, I mean like what you would have seen in like your health and science books

in like elementary school in um uh so not like a street slang per se but like what anti-drug people think is street slang is that either either or but but i kind of like the dare sets like the day say right right right right i don't know. Give me an example. Do you have one? Two that stand out in my mind that I always thought were funny, that I always cracked a couple of.

Why I was cracked about when I was that age was Acapulco Gold for PCP. And Cocaine Charlie Toot. People said that? The personification of cocaine is this guy named Charlie Toot. I imagine he's got two gold chains over taco meat and a smoking jacket.

Grinding his teeth. You guys heard that new Tame and Paul record? grinding his teeth yeah yeah you guys heard that new uh taming paul record um let's see for the past two weeks or wait it's amazing how a grown man can run around outside his house while in his pajamas how sick can you be i guess you play real sick when your girlfriend comes around what What's your gimmick? We all want to know in the neighborhood. Is behavior?

Like just walking outside in your pajamas is sick? Or like he acts like he's got some sort of illness? Walking around in your pajamas. To a man and woman who live below Blair Branch, please wash that trailer down. It's turning green. Just respond in the paper next week and I will come and help you.

Hey, that's cool. That's fair. Hey, I take issue with your shit, but I'll come and help. It's a little classist, but if you want to come help me wash it down. Right, right, right, right. This is one that is interesting and that I agree with.

They say the federal government doesn't have any money, and they say the state government doesn't have any money. Well, I saw in an Eastern Kentucky paper where the government was giving money to a coal company to help with startup expenses. Why would a coal company need startup expenses from the government? Good question, anonymous caller. Good question. Have you heard about that, though?

I feel like I hear about that from time. I have no idea if it's true or not. I don't know. I want it to be true because i want that you know that little flicker whenever i hear about coal companies uh or any or any rich person getting any sort of largesse yeah is that how you say that word yeah i was like large large a that's the thing like anytime you use uh a a French or Rome or Latin phrase in a writing thing, you're going to lose my attention immediately. The first time I come to you, you could be making an excellent point. And if you say, like, vis-a-vis.

Yeah, yeah. I'm out. No blessy blaze or some bullshit. Laissez faire. I even struggle with coup de grace because I don't even know what the fuck it means. I kind of like to say it, though. It's kind of fun to say. Yeah. Or coup de grace. The coup de grace because I don't even know what the fuck it means. I kind of like to say it, though. It's kind of a fun song.

Yeah, or coup de grace. The coup de grace. The feather in the cap. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, all right. Hello, baby cakes. It's been over a year since our divorce became final, and I must say I am the happiest I have ever been in my whole life. Anyway, I just want to know one thing.

You called social services on me to get me thrown in jail when I had to go to the dentist that day. Don't you know that I found out who it was right after you called in on me but didn't have the guts to admit it? Come on, baby cakes. For old time's sake, own up and admit that was you. You owe me that at least. Or you owe me at least that much.

Thank you. There's a lot of divorce. Baby cakes, he's not wrong. A lot of divorce drama that unfolds in the pages of the Mountain Eagle Speak Your Peace. You ever notice that? Yeah, there is a lot.

Who was the one guy, you think that was the same guy that wrote in about the, what did he say last week? The, oh, there was a divorce in last week. We talked about it a little bit on the show, I can't remember. I can't remember what it is either. No, it was like the person

that had rattled off all these horrible things that had happened in the divorce, but he was like, but I forgive you, it was like the person that had rattled off all these horrible things that had happened in the divorce. But he was like, but I forgive you. It's all chill. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's all good. Yeah.

Well, so what's going on this week, Tom? I'm looking around. Looks like you've got a King James Version of the Bible. A five-step guide to sharing your witness and going public with your faith, which is, hey, listen, which is a vital component of finding salvation. It's no good just to keep it to yourself. Keep it locked up. No.

Yeah, yeah. The analogy that I've always heard is of, it's incredibly sexist, but it's of a pregnant woman. You ever heard that analogy? Like, you know, if you're showing,

people will know. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're bearing witness, if you're a vessel for God, you know what I'm saying? Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll know. A tree's known by the I'm saying? Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll know. A tree's known by the fruit it bears.

Right, right, right. I found those books at the Harry Cottle Library, the used bookstore. And I also posted one that I saw of a really groovy Bible. And on the inside, there was photos like Vietnam War soldiers, you know, North Vietnamese. I don't know, I didn't really understand that. Man, the, like make the Bible palatable for any population business has gotta be pretty robust.

Well, you see that now with, you have guys like Donald Miller or the guy that wrote The Shack. Who wrote The Shack? I don't know, but you know what I'm talking about. I know that industry well. You see this with guys like that who try to make Christianity and the Bible seem sort of like a hipster subculture.

Like they'll dabble. This was big in the mid-2000s. When I first moved to Austin, there was this big scene of godly guys who lived very ascetic lifestyles. Of course, they were like 19 and you know were living off their parents money right but they they had like sort of donned this or sort of aesthetic of being um sort of beatnik like you know what i mean very counter-cultural hipster type beards uh raggedy tattoos. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sort of. But really more like they would drink beer every now and then. And make kind of a show of it.

Well, what it is is they would give off the appearance of being a dirty hippie. Yeah. You know, or even like a dirty beatnik type, like DaVinci or Banhart type. This is further confirming my suspicion that Austin is just the Nashville of the West. It totally is. They're like completely, yeah. It makes me wonder if Austin, because I didn't know anything about Nashville.

It makes me wonder if Austin precipitated this. I wonder if, I don't know. They're basically the same town, just in a different place. The same subculture, the same vibe, whatever. Right, right, right. Well, but it's basically the same thing, right? I mean, you're trying to make Christianity

sort of seem like this sort of really romantic, subversive movement. Right. You know? And therefore trying to make it seem a little more appealing or amenable to subversive cultures in general. Yeah. Not totally.

With mixed results. With mixed results. I mean, it's kind of weird. When I was growing up in the church, I just, man, I lived for these profiles of famous people that were Christians. Yeah. Because I always thought, oh, that's cool.

Leah Romini's a Christian. It was the most marginal TV characters. Scientologists, actually. Yeah, that's right. Who is the person that looks just like her but it's on the Lifetime movies? Kirstie Alley? Not Kirstie Alley.

Fuck, I cannot remember her name yeah i don't know lifetime she's on like like she's like a like a b tv star right anyway uh point being is like i really liked like knowing that like oh man there's exceptional people that share the same faith that I had, you know what I mean? Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. And now, if I would be growing up in this era, I could point to Justin Bieber. I could point to LeBron James. Yeah, they're heavy in this Hillsong church.

You know the Hillsong church? Wow. It started in Australia. It's like, it really kind of got controversial origins because I think the guy that founded it's a child molester. But like his like hipster nephews

or grandsons or whatever are like, you know, they like are packing out these like stadiums in New York and stuff with like these church services with like,

you know, I think they sold out Madison Square Garden and like, they're like, kind of like rock stars in like the most. But Justin Bieber's

into that, huh? But Justin Bieber's heavy into it. There's a story floating around that Justin Bieber got baptized in NBA star

Tyson Chandler's bathtub. Because he's like seven, two and like has a huge like custom bathtub. I would get, given the opportunity, I would has a huge custom bathtub. I would get, given the opportunity, I would get baptized in that bathtub.

Just to say. Just to say I did. But he's like, I thought Justin Bieber was like a sinner dog. Remember that video of him? Man, he's a sinner, but he's a sinner saved by grace. That's an important distinction. You're right, It really is. And plus, who am I to cast stones?

You know? I've got to go through the needle of the eye of the camel. That's, you know, like this week with the whole like, and I don't know how much you want to get into this, and you can kind of chop this, but this week when. Go for it. this week when I looked at the whole the latest R.L. Stevens DSA dust up

which we see from afar because we're so disconnected from all that shit and all my friends that are heavy and active in DSA chapters because they actually have them have a completely different perspective. Well yeah and they have a vested interest in it.

Yeah, for sure. And we're just like nomads. We're members, but we don't caucus with anybody. We're nomads. We basically just throw them 30 bucks a year just to say we're members or whatever. But anyway, uh but anyway um two things that i think that i admire about christianity and i hesitate to say that i really hesitate to say that but two things i really admire are the idea of whosoever will let

them come uh-huh like i'm really into that like and i think as socialists and you've i mean you made this illusion because you say that marxism is your christianity essentially yeah it is pretty much but socialism implies whosoever will let them come right by definition exactly and then the other part about christianity i like is that no matter what your flaws are this whole idea of god meeting you right where you're at and you know i like it's hard to for for me as a human being to sort of articulate any sort of grace for like the worst like i'm not mean i don't mean the worst people. I mean like violent, dangerous, depraved. In the real sense of the word, depraved. Lunatics.

Lunatics and complete morons. Yeah, madmen. Reprobates. But I think one thing, and shit, I might get lambasted for this, and maybe I deserve it. But I think one thing, like I understand people take an issue with maybe RL's putting DSA's name on that letter that he sent to this preacher or whatever. Or maybe even queer folks in D SA feel in a certain type of way about the things this guy had said. But at the same time,

I think if you're looking at this from a proselytization context, which is I think, if we're gonna be missionaries about anything, I think socialism is a good starting point. I mean, churches have been tremendously successful with a pretty flimsy product. You know what I mean? We have something that's worthwhile and like.

Yeah. And I don't mean flimsy like to insult anybody's faith. I just mean like it's just easy. You know what I mean? Yeah. But I think we have something that's worthwhile and worth sharing and i think if we just relegate that to pre-approved people that believe the right things yeah you know what i mean and also just the idea that there's just no examination of like really,

I made a joke about this earlier, so this is going to sound stupid, but the systemic reasons for why people believe the things they believe. Like we would have to cast our parents off by this like sort of DSA bar. Yes. You know what I'm saying? We really, yeah, yeah. But what I think people don't understand,

when something hits home, I remember, I've shared this with some, I might have shared this on the show before, but my mom has some health issues that she has to take this medicine basically to stay alive and to be well. Like, every day has to have it. If she got off of it she would

deteriorate pretty quickly and her insurance company calls her this is probably six months ago or something and says maybe last year even says this is a thousand dollars now thousand dollars a month to get this my mom has almost no income they could even come close to affording anything like that and so i go and visit her and like she's like got basically got one month of i guess the the company that makes this drug was going to is paying for it for a certain amount of time or whatever yeah and she's got one month she's like i just don't know what i'm going to do if you know if we can't get this sorted out and like she's like talking month. She's like, I just don't know what I'm going to do if we can't get this sorted out. And she's talking about funeral plans, wild shit.

And I bring something up with her. My mom has died in the wool Pentecostal. And we get to talking about the culture wars. Invariably, it always goes back to the culture wars. Oh, hell yeah. And my mom said something and i'm not saying this is like some sort of grand revolutionary gesture but when my when it hits home like when the boots to your fucking neck effects of capital hit home and

like are staring you in the face and it looks like this might be it for you yeah you start to change your mind about some things yeah so like those people that would like cast off rl's idea of like these people are irredeemable because they said some incredibly fucked up pat roberts and shit i don't think that's necessarily the case and i think we need to give each other a little more grace is all i'm saying but i at the same time, I completely understand how that, if you're, you know, if you're LGBTQ person in DSA, that like, you might not be fucking thrilled that one of your leaders is trying to bring into the fold somebody that's spewing the most awful shit.

But, you know, I guess I really just said, I guess that whole spiel was gotta hear both sides well i think what you're saying i'm what i'm what i'm i'm gonna get i'm jumping around a little bit but my point about the antidote with my mother is that like my mom said something she said talking about abortion she said well people are going to have get those anyway we might as well give them safe access to that and that's not and when i say that i'm not saying that as like oh wow that's like some sort of grand revolutionary gesture i mean like obviously abortion should be health care it should be just right you know standard but but I think when you lay bare those sort of boots to your neck realities of what capital does to

people to people that hold some fucked up views for whatever reason you know what I mean yeah that you could start to find a little common ground and I think i what i'm saying is i'm not persuaded that everybody's redeemable but i don't think that's like baseless or useless yeah well i think what um what you're saying is that like and this goes back to what i was saying earlier about the guy in the barber shop is that we all live in a system where we as individuals have to compete for resources right that's the that's the whole um sort of idea behind the enlightenment really and behind modernism in general you are a self you know an individual and you are constantly evaluating yourself in relation to others and you're constantly competing for what you are told is a finite amount of resources or i mean all resources are ultimately finite except the sun

but that like you're led to believe are more scarce than actually are the idea is scarcity yeah and so it's it's important to distinguish between the people who um because of their sort of material circumstances and what other whatever other sort of maybe inner pathologies they've got going on see things in that way that like oh the immigrants or whatever yeah are stealing the resources that should be mine or whatever it's important to distinguish or or this pastor who says these things because of his faith or whatever. It's important to distinguish between those types and actual Nazis, like Matthew Heimbach and whatever. How much time do you put into trying to convince any of those people? You know, obviously you're not going to convince the Nazis and fuck them.

They're our enemies. You know, they're our actual enemies. We know that. Yeah, like we fight them in the streets. We're trying to extinguish them, literally. And their ideology. But the other kind is more sort of a result of how ideology gets... Worms its way in there over time.

Right, because of austerity and because of scarcity and these other things and um i think by having um i don't know you've got to get them through the door with something yeah you know what i mean one thing that i thought was really interesting and maybe this is very liberal. Actually, I think, I was thinking of this anecdote when you were telling me what you were telling me. And now I think about it, I'm like, this is actually very liberal. But I might as well just go ahead and say it. But one thing I was thinking about was when we showed, a couple years ago, I sort of organized a screening for the Anne Braden movie.

And Anne Braden was this famous white southerner. She was one of the 14 people or whatever listed in Martin Luther King's letter from Birmingham jail. One of the dogs. Was it like exemplary white people? Imagine if you were on that list

i think it's telling there were only 14 dude you would have you your woke cred would be unimpeachable at that point uh anyways the the sort of arc of that movie the narrative arc is that like you know she later on in life started extending her battle for civil rights to lgbt community and all this you know other stuff and i remember after the movie we had a pastor uh literally come up to me and mimi and say um you, I never really saw things that way. I believe that, you know, it's important to fight for the rights of,

you know, this was 2013. This was a while back. But he may hate gays again. We don't know. He might have just gone back. You never know. Well, that's the other thing, too. I was telling everybody yesterday, last night,

we were talking about it a little bit, that, like, also, it's quite possible that we don't know, I don't know, I was going to talk with our buddies in Birmingham about this, but some of those church pastors are like vultures in their communities, too. Yeah, they are. They'll fucking milk people for all their money and say, well, if you're going to get healed, it's got to be mediated through patronage to me in this church and all this stuff, and just like say well you know if you're if you're going to get healed it's

got to be mediated through patronage to me in this church and all this stuff and just are total hucksters right so like what i you know when you want to engage church people it sounds weird to say it this way because they're just so venerated in our society, but you really have to be fucking careful because people that traffic in, like I said, peddling just such an easy product that is sort of a salve for people that are going through all kinds of shit in this capitalist society. Right.

I mean, it's like a fucking landmine. Yeah, yeah, you're right. They operate from a position of manipulation. Yeah. I mean, and that's to say nothing of, and when I say this stuff, I don't mean to sound like I'm saying our queer friends need to toughen up.

That's not it at all. That's a valid criticism. I mean, if somebody comes across in a saying, you know, I think AIDS is God's judgment for homosexuality, like that person needs to be taken to task and you need to exercise caution when dealing with anybody that would seriously say that, you know. Well, I have a couple thoughts on this.

I want to take a quick break, but I have a couple thoughts on this. I got to take a quick break But I have a couple thoughts on this I got to pee Yeah I'm about to Your tattoos are so deep, they really make me think. And your life has been so rough, you've been through so much We are having a party tonight We are inviting our best friends

So they can have a good time Are there others out there who think alike? A dwi'n meddwl, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o, o Oh, I think they're having fun. I think they're having fun. Listen, man, I just saw something incredible. A fucking pileated woodpecker. Right out here. Man. Sure you did, buddy. You don't believe me?

That time I told you I saw otters in the river and you came sprinting. They were just beavers. I told Alex and Ashton that story the other day. They thought it was very funny. I was like, my God, where are they? Yeah. For the audience,

Tom called me one day. He said, you gotta get down here. There's fucking river otters down at the Apple Shop. And I ran out the house. Man, you will not. I fucking sprinted the whole way in my head i was like i had just visions of uh just grandeur i was like oh we're gonna write a paper about this like we're going to be but we're going to be well known in the biology world for for being able to study this community of river otters in fucking Whitesburg, Kentucky. I get there. I was like, Tom, these are

fucking beavers. I was like, what? Well, you gave it your all. From a distance, they looked like otters. Yeah. So there's a few things about this that we can

sort of take away. You know, I mean, obviously it's a question of race. Like this man is being targeted because of his race. But that seems to me a separate question from is it worthwhile trying to win over people who hold reactionary views and whatever? And honestly, it totally depends. I think it depends on a lot of things. is not in a position to make revolutionary demands or pressure the system in a way that, that, you know, induce its stress fractures

and you know what I'm saying, on the system itself. I think, yeah, I think our policy should probably be, you know, for the many, whatever the fuck you said earlier, the Christian. Whosoever will let him come. Yeah. Or, you know, I think that we should be thinking seriously about who we can win over, who would not normally

or who would not otherwise be engaging with the system politically or whatever. And I would also tack on to that too, that I don't think the sentiment behind what he's doing is wrong in the sense that there's no precedent for that. Because if you just look at the black church, the black church has spearheaded probably the most important social changes in this country for some time. Yeah. in this country for some time. Yeah. And can count among their own some of the best Americans we've ever produced.

Well, yeah. American socialists we've ever produced, if you're talking about Martin King. If we're trying to build a movement for social change, yes, we should be focusing on spaces where consciousness can be created together and raised and created together. What else to say by using the word spaces?

We need to be intentional about how we show up in those spaces. In the world. But, you know, and so, you know, like I said, in times like times like this yeah I think we should be thinking very seriously about that overall I'm not that concerned with it and the reason why is because yeah it's much ado about you know well the reason why is because I think that what our goal is, is structural upheaval, reorganizing how society allocates resources. I'll say it a fucking hundred thousand times. If we're trying to get towards that goal,

also all the attendant goals that are associated with that, incarceration and poverty and the criminal justice system, whatever. I don't think you need to have a sort of mass majority of people in the country on board with that yeah you probably should um okay i should amend that you don't need that to win exactly you will need that after the sort of breaking point after a revolutionary moment because you will have reactionaries who assemble their forces and try to fucking take your ass down.

Yeah. So you will need a sort of mass, call it whatever, vanguard or whatever. But you, I don't know, I think that there are plenty of people out there already who are impacted by the repressive, absolutely just boot-to-neck nature of this system, just as it is, who would probably be on your side as it is if you were fucking, I don't know, rioting in the streets. I mean, I'm concerned. I'm like fascinated with this idea of winning over public opinion, you know, and because mostly because this is something that activists in the 60s dealt with a lot.

And this was sort of like, you know, what Richard Nixon was able to run on the moral majority whatever I'm fascinated with this idea of like people being constantly aware of public opinion and optics and so for example like you know I guess maybe a common refrain would be like um you know writing for things or whatever could be bad because they will sway public opinion against your cause or whatever yeah and i'm always fascinated by that because i've always deep down thought that like um for every person who would be turned off by that there's there's also also probably one or every person who would be turned off by that, there's also probably one or two people who would be into it.

And so I'm... For every moderate, or for, excuse me. Yeah, for every white collar person, we lose in the Philly suburbs, we'll pick up two moderns in Richmond, Virginia, or whatever. This is the radical Chuck Schumer philosophy that I'm running with here. Oh, God.

I think that it's why activists don't need to concern themselves with optics. I mean, yeah, obviously you should think about that in some in relation to some things but i guess what i'm saying is um usually this argument is deployed against john brown types and it probably was deployed against john brown you know like himself yeah like exactly like himself like what you will do will uh you know sway public opinion against the abolitionist cause whereas actually what happened was john brown was integral in forcing the country to come to a point where it had to reckon with the slavery institution and then end it or whatever i'm saying that i always advocate for you know mean, even if it's like fucking violent or whatever.

I mean, it's like all I'm saying is that the public opinion or argument to me always seems a little bit, I don't know. But it also has its thumb on the scale too. Yeah. Because that's our default setting. So naturally, most people are going to gravitate toward law and order. Again, it's a...

Toward... Yeah. Again, it's a... If your politics revolve around constantly triangulating how the right will respond, you know what I mean? Then you're constantly going to be chasing after something that doesn't exist and you'll never actually... So, yeah. you're constantly going to be chasing after something that doesn't exist and you'll never actually so so yeah for um yeah so in that sense i'm not that concerned with winning over uh a whole new set of people i'm more interested in doing really fucking crazy shit shutting down aspects

of the system and then and then seeing who's into that and being like well come on let's do more of that you know what I mean because those people are out there basically you're saying do what you do and be pregnant man and you're showing

yeah I'm just saying those people are probably out there you know there's a lot of people out there Yeah I don't know Honestly I don't know enough about that situation And honestly I don't have I'm not taking one position

Or the other It's just some loose thoughts I had about it I should say I don't know if you want to get into this or not What I thought you were actually going to say is I don't know if you want to get into this or not, what I thought you were actually going to say is, I don't know if you want to get into what's happened in Israel, in Gaza this week.

Yeah, we should definitely talk about that too. And the reason I wanted to at least broach it, to talk about it, is because it is so interwoven in American culture. Yeah. Hence the church set up stuff here. That's what you're going for. Yes. The new Christian's handbook, baby. Actually, this was totally coincidental.

I just ran into it at the library and was like, Tom's gonna love this shit. Man, I wish I had a handbook when I was a baby Christian. Yeah, yeah. But the whole issue of Jerusalem and Israel and Zionism is so tied up in American Christianity, it's impossible to discuss one without the other. Without the other.

And we talked about this a little bit with Sarah Jones a couple months ago. I was thinking about that. It was funny. Well, it wasn't funny. It's not funny at all. But I was thinking. So it wasn't funny. So it wasn't funny.

But it was coincidental that when we were talking about John Hagee, we were talking about these Christians. They were trying to breed that perfect red calf to bring about Christ's return and all this kind of stuff. I didn't have a clue how newsworthy that would be just a few months down the road. Yeah. With John Hagee speaking at the opening of the road. Yeah. With like John Hagee doing the speaking at the opening of the embassy. Right. Which is, you know, I like what Sarah pointed out, it's like,

if you're Benjamin Netanyahu, these people are not your friends. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no, they have a vested interest in seeing the end of Judaism. Yes, and really the world. Yes, and really the world. Yeah, and really the world.

Right, right. If you think about it, if by some fucking stretch of the imagination Christianity is true and what they believe is the natural course of history is tied to these texts. It's a very selfish act to

try to hasten the second coming with so many people ill-prepared. Well, dude, the thing is a lot of people gotta understand this. Or maybe it's a very merciful act. I don't know. Yeah, just end it. A lot of people really gotta understand this about modern Christianity Or maybe it's a very merciful act. I don't know. Yeah, just end it.

A lot of people really got to understand this about modern Christianity, is that like 90% of the doctrine and the things that you believe come from the very last book in the Bible. I would say that's right. The book of Revelation. And that book was not, it is a very, it's a pretty recent, if I remember correctly, it was written towards the end of the 4th or 5th century by someone, a man named Paul. It's not the same Paul as Saul. Maybe it is, maybe it's not.

Nobody knows. Nobody knows, but it can't be. He's shipwrecked on the island of Patmos. It can't be, though, because historically what he's describing is the fall of the Roman Empire. Right. And that doesn't take place until well after the original Apostle Paul. Okay, yeah, so it can't be. There's no way.

But anyways, he identifies himself as... But also, I mean, it's important to note that a lot of the books that Paul supposedly wrote were definitely not written by Paul either. Right. Well, so this book, which was written well after Christ, well after Paul, it was written in the, Lane Pagels has a book about this. I can't remember what it's called now. Revelation.

It's just called Revelation? Yeah, but you gotta understand the social context in which Revelation was written. It was written during the fall of the Roman Empire. It's a critique of the Roman Empire. Right, and also a sort of trippy critique. Yeah. Swavy gravy, baby.

Groovy Bible, baby. I saw the whole Babylon shit, like seven heads and shit. Yeah, it was written as a sort of, Yeah, it was written as a sort of, it was written to incorporate the themes of decline and social apocalypse and things like that. But as a result, Christians have really taken it to, they've taken it to think that it's literally describing the present moment.

When it happened a long, long, long, long time ago, what the writer was critiquing. But it's weird, man. It's really strange. But anyways, all that to say, I'm not really sure where I was going with that. Other than that book itself concerns itself a lot with the nation of Israel and with what a lot of modern-day Christians would see as very relevant to their own lives and sociopolitical references and everything. What's interesting to me,

and in that whole discussion, and just having grown up in this, is, and this may be the same for you, and I'd be curious to know what your experience was with it, but I never really had any minister, any person, talk about the linear

historical sort of progression without it ending in some sort of calamity, pestilence, war, anything, which are things completely of our own making. Yeah. If that makes sense. Right, it makes total sense.

And I think that's something to keep in mind when you're when you're judging Christians. You know like when you're trying to see which ones you conform coalitions with.

Is there a view apocalyptic in the sense that it's like like all these things, all these needless deaths just have to happen because that's the natural course of things? It's just it was written, bro. You know? Uh-huh. Or do we recognize that actually humans, the Bible also says that God gave dominion over there to the children of men too. That we actually have a role in this.

Right. And we can intervene. I'm talking in Christian terms because, I know what you mean. You know what I'm saying? You're saying is that like, you know, whether they think that like there is sort of no order to the universe and it's just sort of chaos

and it's like an eternal battle between God and the devil or if humans can intervene in that process. Right. I know, yeah. That is a good litmus test for whether I want to coalition with them and try to... Just a little pro tip

on how to navigate these people. That's a good point. But, um... Yeah. Well, it was really funny. You know, it is interesting to think, and I picked these books up from the library yesterday.

Just because if you go to the used bookstore, there's a couple episodes we've done last year where I found some good shit and was able to but um if you read these books about like uh i've got this one new christians handbook some of them over there like whatever you read off earlier um you know being a witness coming out to your friends as a follower of jesus um did you ever have that moment with like your cool friends listen guys i um kind of into god and they're just like yeah that's cool man but a thing that modern christianity is really

obsessed with and that you read a lot and that you would probably hear a lot on the christian broadcasting network or whatever these a lot of of modern Christians are obsessed with the idea of postmodernism. They're obsessed with, and they think that is the biggest threat right now to Christianity. Like, in the sense that, like... It'll render it irrelevant, their worldview. They think that... Well, what they think is that because the sort of, like, dominant philosophical mode of the United States right now is this postmodern, things have no cause and effect. There is no order to anything that all hierarchies or whatever should be.

They think that that- It's all anarchy, baby. Right, right, right. They think that that is the biggest threat to Christianity and Christians today. Right. And that's why, to bring it sort of full circle, why I say that Marxism, for me, offers a pretty good sort of intervention in that, a replacement of that, alternatives. Yeah. Because what Marxism is, is it also offers you the same like it offers you a

grand narrative yeah and um and christianity does that as well as an alternative to post-modernism whatever which says that there are no grand narratives anymore and that society's wills are just sort of spinning and this is why i think it's, this is why I was very paranoid and concerned around the inauguration last year because it kind of makes sense that Christianity would be the sort of vehicle for the next form of like totalitarian system. You know, because it does offer

a grand narrative about things. You know, in a society in which politics doesn't offer that anymore, religion does and Christianity does. And I don't know. I just think that in the future, imagine once we get a Donald Trump charismatic type person who actually does believe the things

that he believes and is very virulently Christian, you know, very much like, I don't know. We already kind of had him with George Bush. Or, or, or plays to that.

Yeah. Yeah. Right. Or at least, yes, exactly. Allows it to be used as a tool for governance and everything. Yeah, I don't know, it's concerning.

It's very concerning. That's something I said to you the other day we were texting was that we're now being ostensibly ran by the people that we went to church with. Yeah, yeah, you're right, you're absolutely right. I think if you didn't grow up in the American evangelical tradition, you don't, and have came to the sort of critique

that we've come to, I don't think you can fully appreciate just how fucking, like how this whole Jerusalem embassy thing is just a huge circle jerk for those people. Yeah. Dude. Like this is the wet dream of every fucking person that I ever like was under in church.

Yeah. And that is highly disturbing to me. Yeah. Because they think that this was literally foretold. Yeah. I mean like, yeah, again, you're absolutely right. I can't really convey in adequate terms how... Well, I mean, we'd have to ask some theologian,

maybe like Seth Sanders or somebody that fucks with us a little bit about this. But isn't one of the prerequisites in Revelation, and I admittedly, Revelation's a little too abstract for me. I think it's cool. A little too groovy for you, baby? I think the imagery's kind of like, A little too wavy gravy?

It's a little wavy gravy and a little cool and kind of trippy and terrifying sometimes. But I don't really get it. But I'd always heard, and this could be completely off, that returning something to Jerusalem, some building, I forget, to the temple. The temple.

The temple, baby. Is this like, do Christians think this embassy is the temple? Probably. Is that? You could probably. Is this what this is? Do people think, I didn't hear the Hagee speech, or if he's even, or what's going on with that,

but did he make allusions to this being fulfilled prophecy? That's a good question. Because if he did, we need to go throw him off a fucking roof. Yeah. Like yesterday. Yeah. Dude, I was laughing my ass off this morning thinking about if America was a Christian theocracy,

like if you could imagine what the movies would be like, like what the art and shit would be like. Yeah. Like I was thinking about a movie about, this would make a good one, a movie about Methuselah, but that's like sort of like a Forrest Gump type movie. Or a Benjamin Button type movie. Like all the, you know, because he lived to be like 900. All the places he was.

He's just on the ark. You know, like, she tasted a lot of cigarettes. Him and Moses. Or him and Noah. Yeah yeah yeah that actually completely a historical that would actually work or even a biblical because there's that scene in forrest gump when for when lieutenant dan and in forrest gump get into shrimping yeah that's what the noah's arc is like they get into shrimping and noah is lieutenant dan and methuselah is like a spry

900 year old like the perfect greek adonis figure and like one night they're like making out with some girls in the in the fucking animal bins with some like sheep and shit she tastes a lot cigarette she tastes a lot welligarette Sheep taste a lot Well I don't know What did they smoke back then Did they Who even knows I don't know

I don't Methuselah presumably was not Around the time of Noah But it's funny And then like They could do like a Brokeback Mountain redo But it'd be like Jonathan and David Yeah that would work

it's like everybody that thinks that homosexuality is forbidden in the scripture I mean Jonathan and David I think said to Jonathan or Jonathan said to David that our souls are knitted together like I love you but I don't think I'd ever tell you unless I was fucking you that our souls were knitted together

yeah that's a good that's a good point but I don't think I'd ever tell you unless I was fucking you that our souls were knitted together. Yeah, that's a good point. Then they'd run off in the forest together. Yeah. And that guy was the apple of God's eye. Yeah, big old gay David. Dude, one of my fucking favorite tropes in Sunday school, like in Christianity, is the dawning of armor. But the armor is specific, like, things that you can do in the battle for eternity.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, this book that I found, How Can We Win the Spiritual War? The belt of truth anchors us. The belt of truth is the commitment to God's truth. You gotta strap that belt on, sir. The breastplate of righteousness protects us.

The breastplate of righteousness equals a lifestyle of trusting obedience to God. So you gotta put on the belt. Put on that breastplate. What's the codpiece there? Is the codpiece part of the forearm or a god? Probably something lame that keeps you chased. Yeah.

The headband. Yeah, the athletic headband. Fuck, I can't go anywhere with that one. That's a dead end. That's a dead end. The puka shell necklace. The puka shell necklace. Protects you from lasciviousness.

Right. It protects you from ever getting laid. That's right. That's what keeps you chaste. wear this young man it'll keep you from lust and temptation the shoes of peace give us stability uh the shoes of the gospel of peace equals a trust and confidence on the promises of god and the sense of peace that such trust begins brings sorry the shield of faith wards off blows and blow jobs a life of protection based on our faith in God a helmet of salvation guards our head dude this is all really really incredible but that's a good one. You got to be able to envision those fucking...

But the funniest thing to me, and this goes back to what we were saying earlier about how Christians view revelations literally, and it comprises a massive part of their beliefs, belief structure. Yeah. Trust me when I'm saying, and I know you could say, Terrence, there's all kinds of other Christians out there other than the kind of batshit cult-like Christianity

that you were raised in. And I'd say, yeah. And I'd say that to you. Sure. However, a lot of people believe what I have outlined. And also, to your point those people the quote-unquote saying Christians don't control every lever of government yes exactly exactly so a lot of people believe revelations literally and that

is a really fucking hilarious thing to me for several reasons i'll tell you why the first is that they are sort of conceptions of hell and heaven are really only um explained in revelations i mean you get some of it in romans and some of the other new testament books but most of it comes from revelations i I gotta be the smart guy that corrects you. It's Revelation. Revelation. It's one Revelation. It's one Revelation.

Not multiple Revelations. That is, I love though when like preachers that are so studied and all this stuff just talk about the book of Revelations. Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. No, this is it. But dude, this is really goddamn funny.

I want to read this section in this book. Because this plays off of what, I mean, this plays off a bit we had maybe last week or two weeks ago about people believing heaven to be this literal place up there where the streets are made of gold. But people literally believe that. place up there where the streets are made of gold but people literally believe that when you get your new body it will come with capabilities never imagined on earth that's what this this chapter says in what is heaven in this book new christian's handbook we will have marvelous abilities sin will be done away with and we will be free to become all that god wants us to be um if our bodies are like jesus resurrection body we will be able to appear and disappear at will

to pass through wall what to pass through walls or doors without limitation to rise from the ground unbound by gravity and apparently to travel at the speed of thought. So these people are telling kids when they die they get superpowers. Yeah, baby. I mean, what's better than that? That's better than the 27 virgins. This kind of Christianity is offering something that like

radical militant islam can't even offer which is that like your body will become your corporeal body will become this superhuman like you'd be like not crawler from x yeah who was a christian yes honestly we are we are one or two movies away. Maybe this will happen under the Christian theocracy, whatever. The next Avengers movies will be about dying and going to heaven and just constant eternal battles with fucking demons. If people think that Soviet art and film is, you know, like all the criticisms people levy against

Soviet art like the whole Christian theocracy art and film is gonna make that look like oh yeah absolutely I love a lot of Soviet art I do too I didn't mean that as a knock

I know what you're saying I see what you're saying we will never forget I love a lot of Soviet art, though. I do, too. I do, too. I meant to. I didn't mean that as a knock. I just meant like. I know what you're saying. I see what you're saying. We will never forget. I don't know what he's saying there. I guess he's saying our brains will be super brains and we'll never forget anything. Dude, this sounds terrible. Listen to this.

This sounds horrible. Listen to this. We will never hit our heads against a brick wall. That sounds horrible. Listen to this. We will never hit our heads against a brick wall. We'll never fall in the middle of Starbucks and spill our coffee all over ourselves and burn ourselves and embarrass ourselves in front of our crush who works there. Your buddies won't flip you in the balls anymore when they walk by you.

Yeah. Your wife won't ever hit you upside the head. He's basically saying that you'll get like a couple of cool powers and then minor inconveniences will no longer be a thing.

Yeah. Yeah. Ingrown toenails? No more. Not happening, people. Not happening. Jesus fucking Christ, man. no more not happening Jesus fucking Christ man

we will never forget hunger we will never hunger or thirst or mourn or cry dude that is fucking great that is great do you believe humans have souls Tom put you on the spot there well i'll tell you this i'm my faith is constantly evolving i would consider myself a christian but i don't even know what the articulation would be of that i don't know i guess i just mean it in the sense that if i were to die in combat i would just has put christian on my dog tags at this point i don't know i go back and forth every week

like i i want to believe in like i want to believe admittedly i do because i'm trying to get in on that x-ray vision racket once i die but so you you want to believe that we have souls i want like i want to believe that whole like idea of the afterlife and all that stuff but i i you know like is that because i am afraid to go to hell or something no it's not really that i guess it's just really because i don't like the idea of or maybe because i've been conditioned as a christian the idea of dying and then just decomposing and returning to the earth seems a little depressing because oh yeah the scariest thing about dying is not the actual dying like i you know i feel like i got a pretty decent threshold for pain and there's drugs for that and stuff now. Yeah.

The scariest part about dying is just not being a part of tomorrow. It's like FOMO a little bit. You know what I mean? Yeah. That's kind of the anguish I think that comes with that. I have had a few moments where I'm like, I'm literally about to die. And so that's the only evidence I can draw from that. But in those moments, I'm just like,

just really want to stay alive. I think it's a chemical thing. I think it's programmed into us to be like, no! I hope at the moment of my death that that whole reaction just short circuits my shit so I can make a kind of easy thing. That'd be nice. I don't want to lay on the floor and know I'm dying and then just, of course, in a few minutes you won't care so yeah one way or the other well dude

i'm a fucking crazy ass i don't believe we have souls dude fuck that well we i mean we probably don't i don't i don't know i just i don't know dude i don't know listen look at this dude look at this when will the rapture occur The mid-tribulation view So there's two There's two kinds of views Old Testament times First coming of Christ

Church age They literally try to predict it Also but also We should just interject here This is This is another hallmark of American Christianity Yeah

Like this is not scriptural The, this is not scriptural. The rapture is not scriptural. I mean, Thessalonians, maybe 2 Thessalonians makes allusions to the great calling away and all that stuff. And then, like, obviously there's the dead and Christ shall rise, but this whole idea of calling it the rapture and this

is, like, completely bullshit. This is hilarious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They believe there's several school of thoughts on this. This is so fucking absurd. Does it really say that? Yeah. Well, it doesn't say that exactly, but look,

there are different perspectives on the rapture. There's a pre-tribulation view, which says that the rapture will occur first, then the great tribulation of seven years. And then there is the mid-tribulation view which says three and a half years of the rapture will occur in the very middle of the seven years of the Great Tribulation.

Right, right, that's the one that my church subscribed to because we'll be around for the first couple years of the Tribulation. Right. Then the rapture will happen, and then after that happens, then the mark of the beast comes. And then there's the post-tribulation view, which says that the rapture and the second coming will come after the great tribulation.

And then it's hilarious because then there's like a millennium, you know? A thousand years of Christ reigning with the saints on earth. That seems like a... Satan bound for a thousand years. Dude, I can't wait to be a uh g's just gonna lure satan into his crate with the treat and then shut him in there then he's

just gonna party with all the saints for a thousand years the real resistance will be trying to break satan out that'll be the first union organized yeah the church uh timeline of dude it's so absurd but um yeah no this is this is really funny who can lead the church pastors are better than lawyers nine percent of americans think the clergy are doing an excellent job this place is pastors among the highest rated professionals in the nation below judges and doctors but above teachers lawyers and business executives what does it say about police officers it doesn't say they're not listed there um one of the things in this is really funny um talking about hell

and it provides all these statistics that says that like um the discourse around hell, less people are talking about hell in general these days. It's like, buddy, I want to know. I want to know where the Overton window is on hell. Yeah. It seems like every day I log into Twitter, it's like this is hell. This is a hell world. Yeah.

There's a hell dude. Yes. Yeah. Which is why the correct position to take this is the the correct position is the old regular baptist position which i think it's or the primitive baptist one of the two believes that um there is no such thing as hell they're called no hellers and that this is hell that hell is jehovah's witnesses oh is that what it is yeah and then everybody goes to heaven when they die yeah uh another this is a really funny one demons appear uh this is in the spiritual war section demons that's a chapter yes what is the

spiritual war demons are satan's servants demons appear to be organized into an army-like hierarchy some demons may have authority over geographic locations, seeming to be the spiritual power behind the empires of Persia, Babylon, and Tyre. That's not racist at all. Dude, what's the demon over Appalachia? Interestingly, there are no demons in charge of Europe. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly.

I want to know the demon in charge of East Kentucky. Raggedy motherfucker. Yeah, yeah. He's into... Just the most depraved. Just the most depraved. Hey, you want a Suboxone strip? It's therapy.

It's therapy. Hey, man, no judgment. I just want to take my side by side. Who's the demon that tickles your bird a little bit and gives you a boner and tempts you to masturbate? Number 13. Tickles your bird a little bit. Literally jacks

you off. That would be a good excuse if you were caught jerking off at like 14. Mom, the devil possessed my hand. Powerless. Oh, dude. Alright, alright. It's so funny because like

in shit like this in order to indoctrinate kids like they completely make up things like there's no mention of a demonic hierarchy in the scriptures there's no even mention of the fucking war in heaven like that's something everybody thinks is in the bible that is really not really in the bible see what they do is they take verses that sort of some middle age not middle age literally but like the medieval era some fucking drunk opium fueled priest and like the medieval era was like yeah i don't know like the fucking ephesians there is some armies yeah i don't know i'm gonna go uh you know drink my opium water and water my what's that shit they drink in scandinavia um it starts with an m i think i don't know is it like laudanum it's like

a it's like no it's like a liquor but it's like an ancient yeah i feel it's safe you know what i mean like my mulled wine and uh and they take it literally to think that like the there appears to be a hierarchical structure to the demon army. Look at this. They're sergeants? Lieutenants? They just make up that shit to try to keep kids from playing like D&D

in the 70s and 80s. Yeah, exactly. That's the only purpose that... Right, because it's the fusion of two really badass ideas. The army, but spiritual army. Spiritual army. You have powers. You've been imbued with powers and you

are a sergeant in Jesus' army against hell. I always wonder, is there also an army that's neither good nor evil? They're just kind of... Sometimes they're good, sometimes they're... You know what I mean? Every Christian sort of... The way they stage this, it they're... You know what I mean? Every Christian sort of...

The way they stage this, it's always good versus evil. But there's the... Kind of okay, but not really good guys ever getting there. They help out one side and then they... Yeah. Who are the Democratic Party of the spiritual armies? The... The lukewarm. The lukewarm.

That Jesus spat out of his mouth or whatever. Yeah, if you're lukewarm, I'll spew you out of my mouth. That's reason enough to start an army. Yeah, it is. Oh, man. All right, we are well over our time. We've really milked the shit out of this one. I think this was pretty good.

One thing I did want to say about the whole preacher RL thing, though, that we didn't plug in, I was thinking about this, is that the absolute worst take on that whole situation are the people that are tweeting at RL saying, oh, well, you wouldn't like it if they overturned, if the LGBTQ people in DSA supported somebody that wanted to overturn Brown versus the Board of Education. Like, to me, that's analogous to, like, people that say, like, would they get pissed off

if there was a White History Month? Right. You know what I mean? Like, you're making racist hypotheticals. And that helps nothing. Right, that's true. Like, there's a legitimate gripe there, again, like I say, with LGBTQ people in dsa about this particularly

again like we're talking about some guy that's rejecting your humanity yeah but i'm just saying a lot of bad takes around that situation a lot of bad tags i don't i haven't i've been really pretty unplugged from it dude i, I almost died earlier this week. Okay? Really? So, yeah. Show me a little bit of gratitude. Or, not gratitude. Do you think you got hepatitis? No, I had to have had food poisoning.

It was bad. I threw up a million times, dude. Throwing up sucks so bad. You look good now. Thanks. You look a little vascular. Do I? Yeah. i was looking pretty puny earlier this week i'm very self-conscious about it because my boss is like well you didn't have any weight to lose so okay thanks all right people always tell me that dude people are always remarking on my weight god damn it it's true kay fisher one time i was walking in front of summit

she was like have you lost weight are you okay it's like i'm a thin person leave me be fuck off god that's the the worst part about being a little chubby is everybody always notices when you lose a little bit of weight or when you put it on. They always feel inclined to comment about it. See, the thing is, is my body type, my body frame, it just

says I do drugs. And I do. It's not completely unfounded not completely unfounded but maybe just don't talk about somebody's weight when you see them for the first time I mean if you're friends with somebody

and you guys like to give each other shit or whatever I think it's funny you using? yeah you using man well, you using, man? Well, tonight we've got that thing on. We're going to be on TV. We're going to be on TV.

Our star turning. I'm joking. We're going to be on Epix. I'm joking. But we're going to be on Epix. You can get a 14-day free trial right now. Cancel. Make sure you cancel.

Always forget to cancel. Right. Maybe, dude, maybe we will bring so many new subscribers to Epix, they'll give us our own TV show. Yeah. Hey. Hey.

But Epix seems like, you know, maybe you want to stick around after the 14-day free trial if you want to. I don't know anything about it. If you want to stick around after the 14 day free trial. If you want to, I don't know anything about it. If you want to watch like Brewster's millions, right.

Every week. Um, well anyways, check that out. It's tonight or Friday night, uh, 9 PM. I don't even know what I'm putting this out.

Presumably today. But, uh, if so, check that out and, uh, check out our Patreon. Um, the most recent episode we did hasn't gotten a lot of love. Check it out. And check out our Patreon.

The most recent episode we did hasn't gotten a lot of love. Check it out. It's funny. Tom got really fucking stoned. I didn't mean to. I don't use drugs. Usually. Yeah.

And all right, well, that's all I got. All right. Let's call it that.