Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 57: Tanya Got A Cat

Episode Date: June 15, 2018

Should we name the cat Khrushchev or Brezhnev? Sound off in the comments.

Say that again. You know I've been wanting to get a familiar. You mean like a pet? Like what do you mean familiar? A familiar. Like a an animal companion for my spiritual journey. For my rituals. Oh for your like you want to like do Magic on it No You just mean Like all good witches need a cat Yeah It's true This is a pretty witchy looking cat Sabrina the teenage witch had a cat

Yep Meg has Mog Who's Meg? Meg and Mog it's one of my favorite comic strips. Oh, okay. She got a cat? It's her boyfriend. Yeah.

Rachel has a cat, a boy cat named Boyfriend. I wish I could steal that and name this cat Boyfriend. If you keep it. So it's a male. Yeah. I'm a little nervous about bringing male energy into the house. What do you think? I feel like all cats are just kind of feminine, though.

Yeah. Or they're totally neutral. Well, see, here's the thing. You can just get it fixed. And then you've got a bunch of gender neutral cats. Definitely getting it fixed. That's what I've got. Gender neutral cats, as in snippity snipped.

Yeah. Look at this. It's a cat. it's a cat it's a kitten hi hey lover wouldn't you like to know uh no i'm fostering it for two nights to see if i want it forever look how cute it's pretty cool it's pretty cool little guy but katanya's hesitant about bringing male energy into her house. What do you think? Yay, nay. Bring your little male energy into the house. Why are you wearing a shirt that says lover on it? Well, I'm just trying to let the world know where I stay.

You a lover, not a fighter. I get a little ornery from time to time. I've never won a fight, but I like to fight. Well, I'm glad you bring this up because I got into a fight this weekend. A physical fight? A physical fucking barrel. What happened? I couldn't wait to tell you all.

This Saturday night. I guess I should have known it was going to happen eventually, trying to insist that I'm not a fighter. No, you know, I don't even know how to tell the story best. The true travesty here is that I have my new partner with me, and so she saw my most redneck side. Oh, she gets to see that part. Right out of the gate. Right out of the gate.

The one side that we're all afraid our partners are going to see. Well, she saw it. I mean, I had a dress on, and it was like 2 a.m., so I literally showed my ass. Oh, God. Is this after a bar? Wow. No. Well, actually, I had been to a bar earlier that night.

Was this with a stranger or a family member? So this weekend I went home for my nephews, our three and four. They're only a month apart. So they had a joint birthday party with a bounce house. So naturally all the adults got drunk. Yeah, that's good. If there's a bounce house, there will be booze. What if I'm allergic to my new cat?

You might kill me. Well, here's the thing. I think I'm allergic to my cats, but I think I just sort of put up with them. You do crazy things for love, Tanya. Just get you a breathing machine with him. Meatloaf would even say that you would do things for love, Tanya. Just get you a breathing machine with him. Meatloaf would even say that you would do anything for love. That song was actually about being allergic to cats and still loving them. Still loving them.

But he won't do that, which is maybe have a cat he's allergic to. You want to be on a podcast? Say it again. Did you hear that? I did. I heard it. I got mic shot. It picked up Say it again. Did you hear that? I did. I heard it. It got mic-shy. It picked up into the head.

What's his name? He is not named yet. Oh, my God. Which he's upset about, obviously. You got things to say, buddy? You got things to say? Tell him about it. Tell him.

So, you were in Tennessee. I was in Tennessee. And and so we were hanging out getting drunk at the birthday party bounce house was about to get those people would come to get it they were rolling it up sad time and uh it's coming to a close and my friend from high school texts me hey i'm at the lake you in town because she heard I was in town. And I was like, shit, yeah, I am. I wouldn't be able to go over there until late, but are y'all hanging out late? And she was like, yeah. And I said, well, can my sister come?

And she was like, yeah, bring them all. So I took it. That kind of party. All three Turner girls. And sure enough, we talked mom into babysitting, and the Turner terror squad rolled out. Fucking three deep actually we were four deep because my sister brought her new girlfriend very new okay like they've only been together a month and she already brought her home little sketchy but apparently she's a trailbillies fan so i liked you hayley i thought it was weird you were coming over to the birthday party but you turned out to be cool so

we can bleep her name out it's fine as long as we don't give any identifying details well they're actually gonna be on the news tonight i want to tell y'all about that too you're so intimidating it's insane you if i heard that i would just be so in my own head immediately. I'd be like, oh my God, does your sister hate me? No, I just said I liked her. I do. She was great. She was very funny.

You can only be so intimidated by a woman nestling a cat in her bosom. Yeah. This cat's asleep. I've put it to sleep. It is definitely asleep. He's so sweet. Oh my God. Oh, my God.

So, you know, by this time, it's about 6, 30, 7 o'clock, and I'm messaging my honey. And I'm like, hey, just got a lake invite. Going to go to the lake, which I've been over there before. My friend from high school and her mom, who I'm close with, too, have side-by-side campers. Nice. It's a really good setup. Very nice. Right on the lake. Right.

On North Lake. have side-by-side campers nice it's really really good setup very nice right on the lake right on north lake and uh so i'm like texting with my new sweetie i'm like hey it's not really new anymore i don't know why i said that it doesn't feel new anymore i was like hey i got like invite uh we're gonna end up camping tonight i mean my sisters and angela's new girl and she was like oh i'm super jealous and i said well if you leave right now mostly joking I was like if you leave right now you'll get here by dark turn and then she came so ended up listen you can't throw anybody out too when it's fresh you want to spend time six months from now I've been like nah you go ahead do you do you boo you do you yeah yeah see you when you get home uh so she ended up coming with her dog dog's first camping trip he was so good such a good boy that's actually a whole nother story but uh fast forward well we

had already i mean we were clearly too drunk because we stopped for beer and dropped a six pack of bottles in the fucking parking lot of the gas station bogey real bogey of the gas station bogey real bogey anyway fast forward and i don't know what the fuck when i got there my friend from high school who's already just high strung as fuck was pissed that we got there an hour later than i said we would like i said yeah i said we'd be there at nine it was ten and she was like as soon as we rolled in she was like party's over turn around let me just get out of here she's just been such a bitch just i mean this is just her though i just was like whatever so we get out of the car we're like setting up our tents i'm talking to her mom and she's like driving some old man around in a golf cart talking shit this is just her so she was just on one

yeah she's she was what do they call it spoiling for a fight yeah she's spoiling for a fight oh yeah she wanted it bad and bitch got it she fucking got it she wanted to turn her terror well i'm just unclear on how it all unfolded really you know it happened so fast but um basically she kept talking shit and i was like do you want me to roll you in this gravel right here is that what you want if you're just gonna keep talking shit i'll just roll you in this gravel and she was like oh bitch i would love to fucking go and i was just like you ain't trying to shit. And then, you know, that moment passed. And so it was about five, ten minutes later, I had to go pee.

So I got up to go into her camper to piss. And she said some shitty thing. And so I just, like, gently took her knee out from under her and set her down. Oh, the classic knees buckle. You just kick it out. I just, like, I just nudged her knee under and then laid her down here's what here's what happened to you i often reference the play fight that turns into a real fight that's what this sounds like yeah that's what happened so then she just we laugh that off

and i go in and pee well when i come out of the camper bitch has been stewing there for that whole however long it took me to piss she'd been thinking she fucking attacked me when i come out of the camper oh my god so no she set you up she's like i'm gonna get this right she walks out of that shit well she i come out of the camper and she i can't remember she pushed me or just like tried to like climb me basically fucking flog me and so we were on the edge of the gravel we ended up in the grass immediately thank god i can't handle a fucking gravel roll so then we're just literally barrel you were bluffing about the gravel rolling oh yeah i wasn't rolling in no gravel i had on a dress so god i i wish i had fucking instant replay of this because i'm not even sure what happened but i know that my ass was definitely in the air because i had a dress on and it was over my head we rolled a few times did she do that thing where you know you pull the

dress up over someone's head so because like guys will do this with like uh shirts you know that's why guys always take their shirts off in a fight oh yeah you don't want your shirt liability man you don't want that shit pulled over your head i don't think so i think it just flew up and then all i remember she was like i remember almost being on all fours and thinking this bitch is not fucking pinning me this is literally not happening. And then I just remember grabbing her wrist and holding her wrist to the ground and flipping her over. And so that's how I got, I don't know how it happened. I just want to point out that if Tom or I told this story, your takeaway would be testosterone.

You would roll your eyes and you'd be like. Well, I wonder what caused this. Male energy. The i wonder what caused this the block has been hot the block has been hot i've been irritated with so many people i had to take it out of my high school friend but she started it anyway i pinned her and then i slapped her thighs a few times i was like is this what you wanted this is what you wanted like just sitting on her that's that this sounds like it could have went one of two ways yeah well i'm like it could turn to a big gay girl yeah it was slightly erotic by the end of it but i was just like at the end of it i just looked at it i was like i've got a hundred pounds on you did you really what how did you think this was gonna shake out right honestly she thinks i'm just a fucking dough

bitch i guess living off that podcast money she's gotten soft she ain't talking about shit she don't even know my i have a podcast she don't give a fuck oh shit but anyway it ended up being fine but then she um i didn't rub it in any but she brought it up a few times the next day when she was sober i was just like what the fuck got into you what the hell's wrong with you and she was like i don't know she was like you know me what are you talking about you know being ornery so ornery wait you don't have any, or go ahead. Well, here's the funniest part. While we were barrel rolling, one of my sisters yelled out, she's got a bad back. This is like fighting when you're an adult.

Like when you were 16, your sister would be like, get her, fuck her up, fuck her up, Tanya. And now she's like. I hear my sister, she's got a bad back and my sweetie said that's when she lost it just started dying laughing after my sister yelled that she said it was like the east kentucky equivalent of yelling world star oh she's got a bad back. Oh, my. This country's hard on people. God.

Well, you don't have any bruises, so that's good. I actually do. Oh, you're right. I can see one now. But that's not from the fight. Oh, really? This was a wild weekend, fellas. See, I had the opposite of a wild weekend.

But can you see that scratch? Okay, you see that? So it's like a bruise scratch? Yeah. Okay, look at my eye. Do you see that? okay you see that so it's like a bruise scratch yeah do you see that yeah you get kind of does that not from the fight either did you fight in your glasses yeah i had my fucking glasses one time when i was in little league this fucking kid uh punched me right in the nose and i had glasses on and uh and i think it was from that moment on i was like i'm gonna wear contacts the rest of my life yeah it's brutal it's brutal now i've gone back we weren't punching or anything we love each

other still it was fine it was like the next day it barely even happened we went out on the pontoon together i've got friends like that yeah it was fine it happens i haven't talked to her since i should probably text her and be like are you okay you okay? You didn't suffer any injuries, did you, you little bitch? Little bitch. But look, I got scratches over here. I'm covered in scratches because I had to save a dog from the lake. Oh. So that's what these scratches are for.

Yeah. And then my eye was bleeding pretty bad. Damn. When you come up out from under the water in a traumatic situation, the last thing you want to hear is, your eye's bleeding. Yeah. And that two people said it at the same time and i was like yeah in that tone of voice that very specific tone of voice like oh shit your eyes bleeding yeah yeah it's like i don't want to sound the alarm here but your fucking eyes bleeding usually when people are trying not to

exaggerate or make a big deal out of something they went and making a bigger deal yeah something yeah damn well so was the dog drowning was uh does louis not know how to swim he just doesn't really swim it's just like he doesn't do it and this was at night time no this was the next day okay what happened was it was on the boat dock and so it's up high the dock's like it's like a concrete dock way up high off the water and i just dove in because like everyone it was just taking forever for everybody to load the fucking coolers and ice down the beer make their fucking sandwiches and i just wanted to swim it was hot as fuck it was 90 degrees in tennessee i was like i'm jumping i'm getting in i just need to swim so i was like swimming at the boat dock so i just dove in off the boat dog, and he jumped in behind me. Really?

And she said she's never seen him do that. Really? He's never done that before. And even at Pound Lake. Dogs can instinctually swim, though. Right, and he doggy paddled. Sally starts paddling before she even hits the water. Yeah, he started doggy paddling.

He was staying up, but he started to seem panicky, and she was definitely panicking from the boat. How do they do that? I just wonder. You know? They just know to swim. It's just like bred into them or something. Maybe in the same way that the cats. He wasn't swimming great, though.

He was staying up, and I was like, at first, I was like, oh, you're doing so good. You're doing so good. But then he was, like, swimming out, and so I tried to turn him around. Yeah. That's when I got my first scratch. Boxer, right? Yeah. Yeah, boxers are klutzes.

They are. They're like bulls in china shops. They're you're right they're very well you know gangly and gang like when his tail like he has a snip tail or whatever and when it wag went like he when he's trying to wag his tail his whole back end yeah like his half half of his body wags it's amazing it's beautiful i love him so much but um so i turned him around and tried to get him swimming back toward the boat but then i started looking around i was like how the fuck is he gonna get out of here it was like a skinny little weird ladder up the pontoon and then this huge concrete slab and he's heavy he's a big dog he's tall even he is and so i was like oh fuck and i could see her like it's getting she's scared of water anyway she really didn't like to swim no

no and so she had on blue jeans she wasn't even plan to swim at all so you were gonna have to hand off this dog like push it out of the water and this is the day after you got into a physical altercation fucking barrel roll damn fucking barrel on gravel they call this they call this vacation people i like how you you like assess that situation situation you were like no this is not in my contract not in my writer i did not agree to fight on gravel i will only fight on grass i'll take you in the grass though grass dirt sand whatever just no gravel i'm too fucking soft to walk on gravel barefoot anymore i used to just fly across gravel as a kid and now i'm like i never i was never at that point even as a kid i tried to be i was hard as hell as a child i i

don't know i just didn't like running on that kind of stuff i climbed up a railroad trussle one time my mom beat me to death for it and i literally scaled a fucking train trussle one time as a kid like uh like the ones over at elkhorn that's terrifying no that's like 40 feet no it was elkhorn it's taller than that no it was it gotta be like 100 or something because it was like up it was like a heel i don't know it was probably like 25 feet isn't it crazy how people jump off the fucking new river gorge bridge and like every year and then like one person will just die. Like every now and then.

That's a pretty good average. My dad jumped off 33 Bridge over North Slake. And to this day, every time I drive across that bridge, I'm like, how the hell did this stupid man make it? How did he survive? Yeah. He jumped off that bridge into the water. My buddy Jordan's dad tells a good story about him and his buddy Wayne and P-Rod. Buddy Jordan's dad tells a good story about him and his buddy Wayne and P-Rod.

And they went up there to the highest cliff over there at the pull point at Elkhorn City. And they said that Mike, Jordan's dad, looked over to the side and he said, oh, fuck, no, I ain't doing that shit. It's about that time P-Rod snuck up behind him and pushed him off. Oh, that is awful. Ed George said all you could hear going down was, God damn you, P-Rod, and smack. Oh, fuck. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That guy thinks the mayor of Elkhorn City.

Jesus. That's a horrible clip. I stood up there for an hour one day and finally walked off of it. It's my tail between my legs. I've never been up to this. I've been to the one that paintsville, and I watched Tom have about a two or three hour gradual mental breakdown standing at the edge of it. Just looking over the edge as people would just run off.

And they'd be like, hey, you going to go? Like 12-year-olds would go up there and they'd jump off. Ah, you go ahead, man. Tom would be like, yeah, you go ahead, man. I'm just sort of scoping it out. But he stayed up there for hours. That's what I did at Pool Point. But I stayed up there.

It was one hour. And at an hour, I was like, nope. I ain't done it, but I ain't going to do it. So I'm just going to gonna walk off here with none well i'm usually not afraid of heights like that it's hard man at paints full lake though there's all those trees that come up it's hard it's very it would be very easy to jump off in that dirty ass water and impale yourself yeah right up your butthole if it was a pool i wouldn't even think twice about it damn as a kid I jumped off of unbelievable clear.

I was so stupid. I just saw no, like, I just had no concept of my, what is it called? Spatial. No, like my. Mortality? Yes, my mortality. The possibility of my death. Still don't do it.

No, I think it's more clear every day. The thing that hangs on my mind. What is that thing called? The thing that imparts meaning to my existence and makes me do. Until I was like maybe five years ago, no, no concept of it at all. Yeah, I understand. That was my first fight in years, which I wouldn't call it a fight. I mean, it was, you know, know it was playful i don't know me and her fought before and she would hurt me if she

she was pretty drunk she would hurt me if she could probably speaking of paintsville lake hayley hatfield hayley hayley has a pretty good story about how she went swimming or she went fishing over there one time with her dad and they were like in a little cove and this boat came around the corner and it was a boat full of pita people like pita activists no and they pulled up next to her and they got it and they wound up getting into like an argument and then they got up getting into like a physical altercation all in paintsville lake no shit so she's a visit like her dad got a fight with pita in two different boats yeah the All on Paintsville Lake No shit A visit Like her dad got a fight With PETA activists

In two different boats Yeah The logistics of this Are so intriguing to me And I'll tell you another thing I love the horse racing industry Oh my god That's how it escalated

Bunch of vegan pussies Oh my god Jesus Christ There's fresh water jellyfish in Paintsville Lake. Did you know that? No. This is a real thing. There's a video of it online. There's also people that have studied it.

Well, if it's on the internet. Must be true. I've been really full of shit lately. I posted this photo yesterday, this snake i saw on the walking trail and i was like oh it's uh looks like copperhead but they're they're harmless and shy and this person this guy um drew frog shout out to him he's he commented on my thing and he said actually they're not at all shy like they're very combative and i was like yeah i don't really ever know what i'm talking about but that gives me good that did give drag this man that for his lack of snake etiquette

right or any that did that did give me a funny idea though for a tv show you know like the east kentucky snake guy like i could be like the ironic east kentucky snake guy. These snakes are actually good. You mean the snake man of Appalachia? Yeah, the snake man of Appalachia. He lives right above me. I can see his terrariums from my porch. Of snakes? He's got snakes and terrariums?

I think they're empty because they're just stacked up. Called PETA. Damn. Yeah. He's got a porch full of terrariums. PETA was big against the snake handling churches too, weren't they? Really? Yeah really it's odd to me how they pick their battles that's such a tiny segment i mean don't you think they'd put all wouldn't they just put all their resources into like the cattle that's really agriculture industry or something i don't know you know what i mean yeah go pick

your real this literally this is impacting like maybe 100 snakes nationwide. I would say there's probably 100 snake handlers, period. Not even churches. No, I mean 100 snakes total. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. In the entire country. And they're rattlesnakes. It's like everybody in Eastern Kentucky like kills them with weed eaters anyway.

Yeah, it's like they're not endangered. I mean, I'm not trying to. I mean, it's like they're they're not endangered i mean i'm not trying to i mean it's not it's not good obviously right this guy in arizona got bit by one a rattlesnake after he chopped his head off of the shovel and it was still doing the nerve thing and it bit him and he had to go he almost died he had to go to the hospital that's the most bitch made shit that'd be very on brand for you tom get killed by a fucking dead animal walk up on tom land on the walking trail dead and there's a dead severed snake next to him and then ironic snake man of east k would be like, you want to go near this. This is what you want.

This is good. Shy snake here, people. This is a man. He's clearly exercising his religious. He dared trampled on snakes and it paid the price. Is it normal for kittens to sleep this much? Yeah. Yeah.

Cats in general just like to sleep. I feel like I could just put this kitten in my kangaroo Pocket and just Hang out It would just sort of Mold to your stomach You know That's weird

Yeah no that's what you I love this and we match Yeah you really do That's the first thing I noticed when you walked and we both have blue eyes blue gray did you how long have you had this uh about 20 minutes how long have I been here I was just one of Benny and Hope's cats so you just got this before yeah I went over there I was just like oh I just want to see the cats. She was like, yeah, come over.

And next thing you know, she's packing me a bag of food and litter. Yeah. And sending me away. Well, I will say this, though. Since y'all have the boxer, boxers are a notoriously good breed with cats. Yeah, and he was raised with a cat. He loves cats yeah so i okay so here's the thing i'm gonna go i'm going to louisville pride this weekend because

lizzo and big frida are playing i'm trying to figure out what hoe ass outfit i'm about to wear up in louisville this weekend i'm so excited um cannot wait to see lizzo like she single-handedly got me through this past winter But So I'm going to be gone For a long weekend because then I'm going to swing through Frankfurt on Monday for that last poor people's campaign Thing I might have to

Speak but Oh wow I was like only if it's your last Hey you look Broken up Come on up If i'm your literal last hope at redemption okay and um um so i'm gonna be gone for like four days so i'm either way even if because i'm just fostering right now to see what i see what i think see if we mesh i'm just nervous that i'm either way even if because i'm just fostering right now to see what i see

what i think see if we mesh i'm just nervous that i'm too busy and i'd be neglectful parent tanya really i need to talk to well michelle and see what she thinks i can't go at this alone funny you say that because here's the opposite end of that spectrum. I want to show you Tom Sexton, what he had me do for his fucking dog this weekend. Oh, my God. It was hilarious because he was going to the beach and he- Oh, I want to hear how the beach was. They were leaving for the beach and Alex texted me in the morning that y'all asked if she was like, you are going to, all caps, at these uh directions that tom left you

that's that my partner betraying me talking shit about wow i gotta plug this computer in oh my god Oh, my God. Suffice it to say with a cat, you might get a line. Yeah. Literally, your cat got one line, but Sally got like six. Dogs are so goddamn needy. Yes. Okay.

Instructions for Sally. And then where are instructions for Arrow? Maybe on the backside. She gets a brief mention. It's like, just make sure she has water and food. No, yeah, here. Number seven, because these are numbered. Seven is feed Arrow every morning at 10. Just fill up her little dish and make sure she has H2O.

That's all. That's all. That was number seven. But Sally gets like, you have to take her out between 10 and 2, and you have to make sure she's never in her crate for long enough. Do you want me to read these dramatically? Go for it.

I've been talking too much. Read these dramatically, please. Number one for Tom to, for dog sitting for Tom. She can't be left. For three days. Well, the funny part was I was just picturing it in your tone of voice as I was reading them. Like you, specifically the tone of voice you had when we did that one

episode about Crash and you were reading off the lines from Don Chaney. So imagine Tom as Dom Cheadle writing these. She can't be left alone. Either take her with you or put her in crate.

If you're here to supervise, she can be let out. Motherfucker. Only crater for Max two hours at a time. Immediately take her out after she's uncrated. As a rule, she'll need to go out about every two hours unless she's sleeping, in which case take her out as soon as she wakes up. Oh, my God. Like I couldn't have deduced that.

Literal fucking helicopter that. Remember that time Arrow almost jumped out the window? Yeah, right. How bad? I kicked over three people. I said, I'll watch out. You responded to me, or you responded to that situation with the exact same intensity that I responded to

a literal apartment being on fire. We ran up the same steps, jumped through the same window. Yeah, thanks for my little snookum. My little pussy wussy. Oh my God. Feeder at 10 a.m. and 6 p.m. Easy way to do this is crater at those times

and leave the house. Literally. Like I gotta leave oh my god so high maintenance maybe maybe saying it the easy way crater and then get the fuck out right i'm just saying she's what i meant was she's easily distracted she won't eat all right don't give her access to food and water any other time than her feeding time i understand this because she pees all the time and poops all the time exception being and y'all have exception exception being if y'all have been outside in the heat then give her a little water

oh my god i can just picture you saying that if she's panting and sweating five months right take her behind black farmer's market trailer give her a treat which is a very long walk why do you have to go behind the trailer the farmer the black trailer since they ran me out off the church lawn yeah oh they put up a trouble like they're shitting the church lawn well i mean i cleaned it up but i guess they just got mad at me bringing her over there i i did take her over there which church defiantly defiantly the method fuck j Just sitting there The Methodists kick you out How about that Yeah very Christ like

Yeah Shout out United Methodist Wattsburg They put out a sign Yeah they did What's it say Please don't ring Your dong on the lawn

I should have took One of those Like live action Like piss on Obama things And just peed on the sign. Yeah. Calvin and Hobbes. Oh, shit.

Oh, my God. That's too much. She's been on my belly this whole time. This whole time. She loves it. She really does. And we got the grand finale. Crater at bedtime around 11 p.m.

Put a blanket over the front of the crate. Oh, no, there's one more. I'm sorry. Feed her two cups of food at feeding times and fill water dish in the laundry room. If she has accident, you spray in black bottle on, I guess, counter. This is a pro tip. You don't want to use a vinegar based

cleaner because it kind of mimics the smell of piss and they'll think so they'll just keep doing it yeah so you have to use an enzyme cleaner that actually dissolves the urine yeah that shit had enzymes i know it had enzymes it was like urine gone or something i took that's one of those made on tv it's probably bullshit it's probably just like Fucking water I took Sarah and Hootman Up there We went swimming On Friday We took Sally with us

And afterwards I was like Yeah you want some of these Bum ass Popsicles Tom and Alex They have in their fridge And Hootman was laughing At the fact that you had

Urine gone Oh speaking of that Have y'all heard about The Pine The Pine The Pine The Pine It was a It's a new restaurant

In Letcher County Oh yeah It's at the golf course Yeah Raven Rock What There's no place to eat It's like bougie as fuck

Me and Hootman and Sarah Drove up there And there was like 30 motherfuckers Like all dudes Standing outside It's right next to the golf course And so there's all these

Rich dudes standing out there With polos next to the golf course. And so there's all these rich dudes standing out there with polos and cargo shorts. It was like stepping into another world. It was really funny. This is like when Eric was talking about the fucking club his ass got into. Mud runners or whatever the shit.

Eric, the mud runners. I don't know what it's called it's something like that you know what i'm talking about is that those people do those obstacle courses no it's it's apparently it's like a it's like a little bar club they've got down there like right past parkway hotel really like a vip lounge ashton hasn't told you about this what bar and club it's a fucking hole in the wall that you have to pay a membership to be in and you have to like know somebody so it's like the vfw kind of yeah and you can drink there like the vfw yeah and they they have a fucking sauna apparently wait god is this like a i'm like how do you not know about this Tom I don't know Listen I I Usually have said

My most right wing view Is that I think That Recycling doesn't Avail that much I'm gonna amend That to this I've always

Kinda wanted to be Part of one of those English style Gentleman's clubs Well apparently There's one right here In Letcher County Where you gotta have

Like a crazy handshake And uh Yeah You wear like Crests on your blazer and stuff. You want to be a fucking Mason? No, that's a little too lowbrow for me. A little lowbrow.

I mean, I want to be part of something that like, if you know, you know. You know what I mean? Like the Masons are too out there. I also heard about this some kind of East Kentucky underground. What is it? Hell fucking God, I can't remember shit anymore. Someone just told me this literally yesterday. We've drank ourselves stupid.

We literally have. I mean, this weekend I did. Oh, yeah. Some kind of underground East Kentucky cult where they got matching crown tattoos on their thumbs and not into that it's like a it's hell something hell riders hell it sounded like a biker club but i guess you don't have to have it's not motorcycle centered i don't know i like mud did you say it was mud runners that was it it's something like that that's probably not it highly suspect it's very suspect very homoerotic. The name is Mudrunner.

Oh, yeah, and the guy that told him, I'm pretty sure it's gay, and I was like, so this is a gay club. It's a gay club, and he was like, no, no, no. It's so much more than that. Yeah, I was just like, okay, well, if it's a gay club, I want in. Yeah, let's go. But what's the... Didn't Joel and Amelia used to have a secret society?

I think they did, under one of the buildings in downtown. it was called a little speakeasy yeah there was they had a name for it like the club that it was or whatever see here's my thing before summit city is to my club everybody gets a bid it's more egalitarian i'm gonna i'm gonna break down the glass ceiling let women in for god's sakes but i want the like the aesthetics like the sort of like preppy kind of but there's weird stuff that they do though right you're gonna have a racist dress code so you're saying no no it's not we're we're tearing down all those we're we're reappropriating it interesting interesting god anyway i'll report back next month and figure out what all this shit is or maybe we could probably google this crown on the thumb east kentucky thing it's like hail riders or hail oh i know what you're talking

about they're uh clouds no that's not That's a race Cloud splitter It's a bike race No it's It's a literal Bicycle marathon I don't even think It's that It's a literal

Running marathon Oh is it Yeah Pine Mountain In like Pike County I thought it was Winston and the boys On them bikes

Winston and the boys Speaking of Pike County Did y'all read that story About how Pike County Had last month It had it's its bond status degraded to junk status or whatever by S&P? Finally, we're getting some politics.

This credit rating company. And then this year, or I'm sorry, this month, just this week I think, or like a week ago, the Kentucky State Auditor released this report that said the state, just this week i think or like a week ago the um like kentucky kentucky state auditor released this report that said like the state it couldn't even like pass a judgment on or anything like it had said like their finances were so out of order and in disarray like at one point the treasurer of the county forgot just to deposit a million dollars into the bank. Oh, get the fuck. A million dollars? Just slipped on a goddamn banana peel on the way to a bank. Oh, shit, I forgot.

And where did the money end up? They didn't forget to put it in their bank account. I think that, I don't know. It eventually became accounted for. It kind of just sounded like shit just wasn't, they just didn't have their shit together in Pike County. You saying it sounded innocent well that's the thing i was trying to figure out if it was or not like this probably like the state auditor's office doesn't want to sound the federal alarm that we are literally squandering funds down here and so they were like it's just a

few clerical errors what that is sorting it out what that is is what i like to call the laftanza heist method you know how jimmy's like don't buy any fucking cars and anything wait a while they were just sitting that million dollars aside to see if anybody fucking noticed and if nobody noticed three years from now they were gonna pocket that shit but if it came up they're gonna be like oh yeah that's right here that's a where we go. That's been here the whole time. We move out. That's a good point. Yeah, that's what they were doing. It was kind of strange. It makes it almost impossible for them to get any new debt now. They're totally fucked if they're trying to borrow or issue any bonds or to actually like...

And this is the Pike County government, not the city? Pike County, yeah. Yeah, because the city is pretty flush from what I understand. Yeah, the county government is totally in disarray. Here's the thing. Pike County, just. Yeah, because the city is pretty flush from what I understand. Yeah, the county government is totally in disarray. Here's the thing. Pike County, just for a little context, Pike County, Kentucky is the largest county east of the Mississippi River. Yeah, you're right.

And at one point, I don't think this is true anymore because so many coal fucks have moved off, but at one point, Pike County, Kentucky had the greatest income gap per capita between the had more millionaires per capita it had more it had more millionaires per capita wow in than any city that's pikeville right and the income disparity between the city the median income disparity between the city and the county was the greatest in the country that's insane because so many like coal millionaires had addresses in the city and the county was the greatest in the country that's insane because so many like coal millionaires had addresses in the city limits i mean they had many addresses but to get local tax breaks they all had local addresses right and then the county is so poor like the median income

in pike county is like under twenty thousand dollars for for context this is the side of the hatfield mccoy feud for those oh yeah, yeah. No. The Hatfields being on the Pike County side, the McCoys being on the West Virginia side. Right. Well, they had some dust-ups. The rest is history. Do you have something to add? Well, what's interesting about that Pike County thing

is that all the counties around Pike County, namely ours, are so insolvent that the talk is if Letcher County can namely ours, are so insolvent that the talk is if Letcher County can't get solvent, then they're going to move our fiscal court or excuse me, not our fiscal court, our circuit court to Pike County.

Which means if you get a speeding ticket over here, you got to drive all the way to fucking Pike County to go to court where you don't know anybody. Yeah, wouldn't that move family court to Pike County? Probably. That would be a huge i'm not sure if it's circuit or not but yeah i have no idea either but it's a big deal district court i mean kentucky really has too many damn counties but like yeah you hate to see that shit go right i got a better motion just give us to tennessee i mean the whole damn state i mean we can't do it ourselves i mean

it's abundantly clear you know what i mean give us to tennessee i mean you do constantly hear people saying we'll be the new gatlinburg yeah we'll be the new fucking gatlinburg like okay although i um we'll have to dig this up on the internet somewhere but i've seen one of the funniest uh like state maps i've ever seen it was just like a funny like hand-drawn map of the u.s and it just was like making fun of every state for whatever and kentucky they made it look like like a hillbilly guy like the the shape of the state was like just like a dude and it said, passed out on top of Tennessee for however many years or whatever. That's about right.

That was pretty good. Planking on Tennessee. Just passed out on top of Tennessee for 300 years. Kentucky is basically Tennessee that can't even. I can't believe we're saying this. If a Tennessean said this, we'd be fighting. We'd be barrel rolling in the grass. Oh, yeah, yeah.

We could make fun of our own family, but anybody else doesn't. Come at me one time. That's crazy, though. Pike County is the biggest county. I didn't know that. That Pike County was the biggest county east of the Mississippi. Yeah. Geographic.

Yeah, geography-wise, it's huge. Which I know, I remember looking it up at one point. The county that I'm from in New mexico is still bigger like two or three thousand square miles bigger than pike county oh wow it's so big the county's out there so massive yeah well the crazy thing in um because i used to have to work in pikeville a lot um when i was working for that school for the school systems there are places in pike county that to call within pike county are long distance oh really yeah that's like the landlines you had to have you had to pay like extra like area calling because it was like a it was like a long distance call i mean if you're in belfry and you're calling

vergy that's a big fuck that's an hour yeah damn near yeah that's wild yeah what pretty wild since it's June Pike County is having a pride parade they're having a pride festival first they had a women's march now pride parade going to the dogs going to the dogs if you ask me I went to watch you guys speak at one of them

was it the women's march this year yeah it was the reunion or anniversary. That was pretty tight. The anniversary. It was good. They put a good little shindig together. I was sitting in the back. I was like.

I know. I walked off stage and he ran over to me. He's like, what'd you think? And I was the nervous wreck. I was like, I don't know. Immediately just started badgering her. The year before we brought those DSA signs. I think this was even before we started the show, right?

Yeah, maybe a month before we started the show. Y'all took DSA signs to the first Women's March, yeah. Yeah, and it was funny because women would keep coming up to us like, can I take a picture with you and those signs? I don't know what that means, but they look cool. Well, she liked yours. I remember that. This one woman didn't like mine.

But they were the same. There was something slightly different on the back. Or maybe she just didn't like me. This one woman didn't like mine. But they were the same. There was something slightly different on the back. Or maybe she just didn't like me. Maybe she just didn't like the look of me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm good on your side. Let me see yours. They were in the back of your truck forever.

Yeah, I threw them away literally like three weeks ago. That's hysterical. I was like, I gotta get this shit out of here. That's like two years later. Yeah. I held on to it for posterity. I was like, i'll remember that fine right right but then they just they were they were big to get rid of them the new york

times sent photographers to like a dozen of the women's anniversary marches all over the work all over the country right maybe the world and they sent one to pikeville right and she like took pictures of me and i was just like cheesing this fucking picture. And she was like, could you like smile a little less? And I was like, okay. Did you want my resting bitch face? Is this a fucking passport photo? We want you to look like the future's bleak.

You've only been able to vote for about 90 years now. Don't be so happy. Reel it in, baby. Reel it in. Don't be too excited. I think what she said was like look a little more natural or some shit

I was just like fuck you New York she pulls out a piece of coal from her pocket yeah cause you smudged this on your face smudged this on your face

smudged this on your face yeah that's part of the drop in it's just for lighting right that's part of the drop in package you get if you're

a New York Times reporter photographer they give you a they you're a New York Times reporter, photographer. They give you a piece of coal. What was that? She doesn't like it. Yeah, they give you a piece of coal to smudge on your face. That's their version of hair and makeup down here. Honest to God, when I was working again for the school systems,

I had a teacher tell me that she was at a school that she worked at in Knott County. I won't name the school, but she said that they came and got some of her kids out of class for some kind of photo shoot thing, and she didn't think nothing of it. And when they came back, the kids were covered in dirt. And she said, what the hell? She said, I thought y'all were doing was taking pictures what the hell have y'all been outside she thought they just like took off to the ball field and they had literally dirtied up these fucking kids she said i was furious she said she went to

the principal she was like what the hell and it was like it was like that save our children shit save the children oh my god like sarah mclin. It was literally like save the children shit. Yeah, those motherfuckers are evil. In the arms of the angel. That's a dog thing. They try to do the same thing though, right? They try to get the most broke down looking motherfuckers. Like MTV.

Yeah. That's just really funny to think about though. If it was like a New York Times reporter. Just coming back in. Can you imagine dirty and kids up to take pictures of them how would you sleep at night how would you sleep and the kids were just like yeah we're out of class fuck it i'm rolling this mud let's do it lady yes they gave us free Mountain Dew They let us smoke cigarettes They gave us condoms Condoms and cigarettes Hopped up on Oxycontin It's like that Stacy lady

That was taking pictures here I can't remember her last name But Yeah I feel like She would give people drugs She'd like And what she would say She'd be like

I take any drugs offered to me Okay well that's something we call that yeah you're on a fast track to addiction you're about to be knocking on doors for those imagine imagine enabling addiction for your own art yeah that is very very disgusting it is so dark. And she defends. I have never seen anyone defend idiocy to the grave like that one. She literally presented on it at the ASA. And everyone in the room was like, you are completely insane. And she was like, no, not me. Not here. She was great.

I mean, but then recently I saw she got to take pictures of Solange a Solange performance right after a seat at the table dropped in a fucking

in a fucking music no she I was furious because I was literally just like looking I just happened

to be looking at these pictures of Solange she'd performed like she'd done this like really high art performance in a museum

or something and I was just it was right after the album dropped I was super into it and I just happened to notice at the bottom it said photo by Stacy kranitz and i was like what the fuck that's fucking crazy i was so mad i sent it to multiple people i was like can you believe the

nerve well um you probably got to talk to solange if you're taking pictures somebody you generally get to talk to well it's interesting though that that I wonder if Solange made that choice. You know, somebody made that decision. It was a very intentional decision. You know, like you'd look at her art and you'd be like,

I want this person to... Solange was like, I was so moved by your pictures of you as the Fuhrer. Oh. Remember when she did that shit? She did dress up like a Nazi.

You know, I don't have... Stacey Cranitz is kind of bullshit, but honestly, there are other people in the sort of progressive sphere of art making or whatever in Appalachia that do the exact same stuff. They shoot these really highly sensationalized photos

that emphasize the poverty. And some of those people are quick to chastise a Stacey Yeah, and it's just like you're just doing the same shit. It's just like a personal difference. I think the drug use takes it to another level. Encouraging people's addictions.

I would say with the drug epidemic that we're dealing with, that's a pretty, it's a pretty That's pretty disgusting And then like she showed up I had a friend that worked with her Like she did the writing on a story Stacey took the pictures And she showed up to a RAM

Like medical clinic event So fucked out on Adderall That she was just like Yeah at a fucking ram clinic and have you ever have y'all ever been to a ram clinic i've never been but i've seen photos i've probably seen her what's a ram clinic it's like uh what was it stand for remote area yeah oh okay it's like okay yeah fly these like doctors in from like really rich places and and it's just a madhouse but you have to stand in line for And it's just a madhouse.

But you have to stand in line for hours. It's like one of those things like the free clinic and they just give you stuff off the menu. Yeah, and you can go in, they'll pull bad teeth you have. Yeah, give you immunizations on that. Yeah, it's just like a day of free, basically about anything you can do outpatient. I guess, I don't mean that like... I'm not trying to drag her. I ain ain't got no I fucking don't want to deal

with her or drag her but we're very far below her she is you know in her own mind but I'm just saying that like the sort of the treatment of poverty as if it's like

sort of an identity or as if it's something that you can just, it's an affectation that you can sort of put on and put off. That's what I have, that's my problem with her and it's my problem with other people that do it as well. One of the first things that I ever witnessed that made me think we were living in a simulation was tangentially related to Stacey Kranitz.

Oh, I love this. Her photography partner is Misha Camp, who is Jesse Camp's sister. That's a different story. That's a different person. I know what you're talking about. Yeah, but they got in trouble for taking photos in West Virginia.

No, no, no, no, no. I was talking about the time that her and Jesse Camp came to Summit. Joel kicked them out. It wasn't Stacey Kranitz. It was Jesse Camp's sister. I know, I know, I know. But Misha Camp and Stacey Kranitz, they have done projects together. Yeah, he's right.

They're frequent collaborators. Oh, I didn't know that. That's why I said tangentially related to Stacey Camp. Right. But he, J.C. Camp rode a fucking, like, I'm pretty sure it was a riding lawnmower through a parade while he was here with like a huge American flag on it. Just like all this bizarre shit. Well, he was in Summit the night before he got in, him and his sister, I guess.

Is that who he was with? Yeah. Got into all that trouble in West Virginia. Yeah. And Joel, yeah. I think it was the night after because I think that's what Joel said to them. Oh, yeah. Because, like, I guess it is.

Yeah, it was hot. It was the night after. Going back to your statement about just totally losing memory. I don't know. It's just like. I know. We can't remember shit anymore. At the time, I was like, this is fucking crazy.

And now I can barely even remember the fucking main characters. That was, like, all we talked about for a month was jesse camp in east kentucky getting tossed out of summit like how bad do you gotta be to get kicked out of summit city really the guy that was like famous for eight seconds for being an mtv vj yeah yeah yeah there was this era when like east kentucky was like vice's playground in West Virginia. Just like when they were like, we're doing crazy fucking shit, man. I reckon she about got her ass handed to her in McDowell. They cornered her at a, somebody cornered her at a gas station. Oh no, no.

Misha or whatever. Cause she was taking pictures of somebody's kids without asking. Like how creepy and fucked up is that? Like you might be a pedophile, dude. They don't fucking know you. You're just like up taking pics of somebody's kids yeah and so they were ready to whip her ass and like find out are you a pedophile give me your fucking camera you just got you just took pictures of my kids give me the camera it just goes to show you like how disconnected these

the elite are like in the sense that like they really do see poverty as this like oh that's cute let's get a photo. We're their play pretties, as my grandmother would say. I tend to lean a little more on the side of giving people the benefit of the doubt, like photographers and you know what I mean? I don't like to get quick to knee jerk pissed off when I hear about something like that. But I do think that it just speaks to the fact that they are uh yeah they're just so wealthy they're so disconnected from like the day-to-day grind of everyday american life that they just like it's if they never see kids i'm the same

i'm the same way i'm not quick to outrage i just think they're all fucking weirdos right well i don't i don't think it's that i think it's like the aesthetic of poor kids playing in public you know what i mean like how dare they enjoy some of these little fucks and their flip flops fucking catching lightning bugs exactly let's hear your little worm ridden reprobate run around there be happy smile a little less will you look a little more natural yeah yeah yeah you know i want a mountain dew right yeah just roll and pull to them

yeah toss it on the cigarette here's what i want you to do i want you to spew this mountain dew on your buddy here. It's like what we were saying. Well, I mean, because if I remember correctly, weren't they in like a public park or something? I think that's where it was. I don't think she was at somebody's house. I don't know.

It was just fucking weird. I mean, Stacey, though, is the most extreme example we've had locally of like crazy tourist photography, like crazy that I've seen. i saw her break into somebody's house one time on a on an as an individual uh as someone who tries to separate the art from the artist her personal turmoil and like the character that she is i try to keep separate from the art that she makes but she tries so hard to to blur that distinction because she inserts herself actively into a lot of her photos

she takes some pretty pictures yeah she showed up to a punk show in a trailer with a huge flash and got in a fucking circle around glopsters with a flat held a flash over the performance that's so absurd and was flashing the fuck i mean it looked like a techno fucking dance floor because she was flashing the fuck out of it yeah and ada cussed around it's so weird um yeah she regardless she's if she is hearing this she's just laughing maniacally because we're just giving her free press let's bleep her name out I do feel similarly to her about J.D. Vance where we're just

like cause for a while people were just like talking about her constantly and I was just like fucking get over her like outrage fatigue is really you know what I mean just like yeah like I've said my piece yeah we need to just quit mentioning these people.

Maybe we'll go away. They'll just move on to photographing Solange. Well, anyways. I wonder how the tour shook out, though, the Rise of the Rest tour. Any word? Is it over yet? I don't know. I guess we could check in on the Twitter.

I'll tell you all on my Twitter. I fucked it up on my phone you could do your sexy ed sex ed thing sexy sexy ed you could do your like a sexy sex ed traveling thing and call it rise of the breast you dug deep for that one really shooting in a barrel here rise of the breast that's why i get paid the big bucks yeah sorry i would love to do a sexy sex ed tour i wish that was my full-time job i mean do y'all even know what you wish your full-time job was because yeah what do you what do you wish your full-time job was um if i had full-time i mean 25 hours tops. Right, yeah. That should be full time. A week, yeah. If.

If that. I guess my dream job would be like running, being like the sort of head editor at a magazine or something. That sounds so stressful. Picking the stories,

not doing the stories themselves, just picking the stories that people cover and just assembling it all into a single product month to month. Let's paint a picture of this. You want a glass office.

Yeah. All glass in the corner of the floor. Really in the center. Probably in the center. Okay, the center with a circle desk. Yeah, like a panopticon. Yeah, we're going to spin around. You want to be able to see all your workers.

Yes, at all times. And when they think they have something good enough, they come and stand in line. Out of my fucking office, Ramirez. We're not fucking covered. Ramirez, is it? Ramirez? How long have you worked here?

Don't bring me this shit. I just crumble it up, throw it at his chest. Another story about the freshwater jellyfish of East Kentucky. No, you make them burn it in front of you. You know what to do. If you talk about fucking unionizing,

you're fucking fired all right okay ramirez yeah yeah yeah that's my dream job i guess i guess oh my god oh my lord you don't want to actually have to do anything but say yeah that'll do yeah cut that down about 500 words and it'll fly right kill yourself yeah this is trash how'd you get into the building never come in here again why what's your um dream job i would love to teach sex ed oh yeah okay like i wish i had time to create like several versions and like curriculum for different age groups here's the thing you could you could uh now i think about it you could just make sex in the sense that you could become like a porn director we've got cameras oh i technically do want to be a cam i want to run a cam empire for sure i would

love to run a cam it's so interesting to think about it's like sometimes i'm like oh you know like true bullies we should do a tv show or a movie or something and then i'm like okay we'll write it out we'll act it out but then with porn you've got this whole other thing where they're actually fucking and you have to film that and like that's got to be difficult like that can't be easy we could do titty roosevelt well i think we already have one i mean we already have one, Limey. We already have one. You're right. I think what would be fun is to do like, just take on like cliches about the region, but you know, circumvent it through porn. You know what I mean? Like do something about the war on coal, but make like a sexy pun about it.

Right. The Hadfield and McCoy thing was something that would take place down at the mud flat bar down there at fucking behind the parkway in the mud flat bar isn't that what you said it was mud runners mud runners mud runner that's probably not right i don't know uh i thought yeah well when tom said that it took me off on a long journey into like personal experiences that could easily be exaggerated into hilarity not even that much exaggeration i'm just like that just play that play on stereo right yeah you mean like getting in a fight on a gravel well yeah there's that i had the

and then it ended up that's just fucking barrel roll into the grass. And then we're just making out eventually. It would hypothetically end the. Yeah. Okay. I hadn't thought of that. But no, even like, I think I've told y'all this before, but like one time, you know how I said last time I was on, like, well, I know I'm not, I'm not living my best life, being my best self.

If I'm like taking. Right. Immediately after. taking them home from the bar, getting the house ready before a first Tinder date. I know I'm not doing great. Well, once a one-night stand thought that it, I think he must thought it this would turn me on but he said before we hooked up he said i just want to let you know i'm against abortion there's no there is no possible outcome there that could result in good sex after that. What? Like, if you're pro-abortion, like, you're obviously going to be way turned off. But even if you're against abortion. Maybe he said I'm pro-life.

Maybe he said it like. He churched it up a little bit. Yeah, I think he churched it up. But then you're weirdly going to think he's going to try to get you pregnant. Yeah, like, the whole thing, I was just like. Yeah. I'm not sure where to start here uh did you call it off or did you just go through i wish i had i wish i could say that

i've just looked off into the distance like if i was another person if i was another person yeah i think i just asked him that we talk a little less than we were. I literally did say one time, I thought we'd be talking a little less than we are right now. Oh, my God. I was a bad person. Maybe I still am, but... Those were rough times. When you're younger, you do bad things and the stupid thing is that you even sort of justify it at the time. Because you're so young, you're like,

yeah, this won't fucking matter. It's kind of true, but it's kind of not. I mean, I didn't fuck him anymore after that. I was like, you know, you're already here. What the hell right i've already invested all this time right you could have said something dumber i guess not much on a scale of one to twelve that was an 11.5 the only thing dumber i think he could have said was uh well i'm a nazi yeah i'm a republican i'm a republican

that's basically what he said i mean if we ruled out republicans if i had if i had like my whole life been like no i'm never fucking republicans have you fucked a lot of republicans wow no not a lot like i mean i'd have to think about it but like early on in my life i wasn't even that fucking i mean i was just a piece of trash i just drank all the time right a lot of you were like i had i had fairly good politics i was just wasn't i was i was like on the indignant side of don't give a fuck you know what i mean we were more like at that age you're more like a character in always sunny in philadelphia you were just depraved and almost nihilistic you're socially liberal you know i mean you got you don't care what your friends who they're fucking or what they're doing whatever but you know but like philosophically like your view about the world is just um yeah just get fucked up yeah it was

basically like my whole sophomore and junior year of college right and i was pretty bad my sophomore year of my junior year of high school too but i just didn't like i just didn't have enough freedom to be as wild yeah then i had a boyfriend my senior year so i was like damn you were that sucks ass right and it always it always sucks like at that age it always sucked because um your friend would disappear from getting fucked up for like eight months and then just venture back out you'd be like what the fuck where are you or sometimes you were that person you know yeah yeah yeah god down memory lane here we go yeah yeah um but there was something i was gonna say though about um i guess i wanted to know about how the beach was i want to know too i love that beach. Which one did you go to?

Me and Tanya. Last time I was there, I was with you, Tanya. That's right. Actually, I just pulled, this is sad. How long ago was that? Two years. I just pulled a quilt out of my trunk from that trip that belonged to Carrie, full of sand. Full of sand.

Two years later? I'm filthy. That was July, I remember it was july 2016 because that was when i had like a mental breakdown and drove around the country and you did you weirdly went the other day we were hanging out and i was like 2016 was a pretty good year for me and tom was like you broke down and just drove to a bunch of cities it's like you looked up you're in arkansas and uh looking at records right oh my god yeah yeah that's right and i and i took the whole month of july off that year yeah that was your yeah i was like on my month my month break i was staying i was like a sweet deal my sister yeah i remember

you got paid for that too yeah i did three years in a row i i weaseled out away to take a month off paid three years in a row well it ain't happening't happening this year, but I had a good run. Well, the tradeoff is that your current job is a little more sort of lax with day-to-day appearances, right? I mean, you can just sort of. Maybe. Fucking I don't know. Every day in there feels like a. I feel like I'm in a fucking vice chair. I feel like I'm in a fucking vice chair.

I feel like I'm in some kind of, it does feel like a simulation actually. Yeah, yeah. Full on simulation. Well, if you need further proof of that, Dennis Rodman showed up to the Korean Peace Talks wearing a shirt that said, peace starts in Singapore, sponsored by pot coin.com pot corn it's a weed-based cryptocurrency that i guess he has a financial stake in yeah he got in he got in on the ground floor this is stranger than fiction i saw that he was i saw a headline about him i was like oh rodman's in the news i wonder what happened but i didn't care enough to look so he showed up to

peace talks where in singapore the north korea usa summit because trump is meeting with kim jong-un yeah literally i saw i was so i was so furious i saw an article that the headline was just what trump and kim jong-un i can't even say his name kim jong-un are having for lunch. I heard he told him about real estate in North Korea. I mean, this is not a... It's going to be great. Listen, resorts, golf courses. The market's going to be great. He explained real estate.

Yeah, I think... Yeah, that's all he knows. He only knows about three topics. Real estate is one of them. So he was like, in his mind, he's like, what does this three topics. Real estate is one of them. In his mind, he's like, what does this guy want to talk about? He likes power and I like power.

All I've got is golf, real estate. But doesn't it just feel like there's so much happening constantly under cloaks of darkness? Just like from executive orders to just like, we're being fucked daily. Daily fuckery. And all the reports we're getting are about lunch menus what did they eat for lunch well it's funny it's i think that they're trying

to create this like it's always kind of been like this i mean remember when um nixon and i think it was khrushchev had the kitchen debates in like the 19 late 1950s where they like they like uh they i guess khrushchev would like come over to america nixon would try to sell sell him on like the american dream and how capitalism benefited everyone and would show them items from like a kitchen and like they would like try to create a narrative of them like trying to bond and bridge these these sort of cultural and societal gaps. What was Khrushchev's response to that? I don't remember, but it is really good, isn't it?

I forget now. I really wish I could remember. How are we letting you out of telling us about the beach? Yeah. I mean, I don't want to tell. I mean, my mom had never seen the ocean. I took her to see the ocean. Yeah.

That's beautiful. She didn't want to leave. I didn't want her to leave, but I had to come back. Aww. Good sweet boy I am. Yeah. Did she like, did y'all just sit on the beach? Yeah.

Did she get in the water? The weather didn't really cooperate that much with us. She just kind of waited in a little bit, but yeah, she was into it. Right. See? I'm afraid I'm going to be a bad mother. I just let this baby fall out of my lap. Tanya, those things can fall from like 40 feet and be fine.

It's true. They really can. You think I'm babying it? Yeah. So you don't have any like a... So Garnet liked the beach? She liked the ocean? Yeah, she loved it.

She ready to go back? Yeah, totally. She wants to move down there Move her down there Really Yeah Damn Let's go

Really She was like I want to move to the beach Yeah but I don't think she can Why not She gonna stay here And take care of your ass

No money See in 2008 The stock market collapsed Charleston's not the cheapest Place to live ever was In fact See, in 2008, the stock market collapsed. Charleston's not the cheapest place to live ever was. In fact, it is like one of the... It's... 40 people move there a day. Really?

That's insane. That was when my sister lived there. It might be more now, but it's like one of the fastest growing cities in the country. Oh, and it's all going to be underwater in 50 years. Yeah. Horrible investment. Move her to Myrtle Beach. redneck riviera yeah the second most dangerous city in the country no way is it

yeah behind what chicago uh no someplace in like the seattle suburbs what's happening that's a keeper oh my god it would be really needing in my neck and head i that that i don't know why i hate having my neck touched i fucking hate it and when i first got pb she one night nestled up into my fucking neck and i just had the worst the worst I was like triggered or something. I got triggered. I love this. Damn.

I don't know what's happening. Tanya in real time we're witnessing Tanya experience the joy of parenthood. Cat ownership. It can be rewarding. It can be. He's like literally like...

Oh, yeah. Wait till he needs you. It feels so good. He's needing you. Oh. Oh, my God. He's like purring in my ear. Okay, now you're getting sharp.

You want to keep him? Oh, my gosh. Can we name him brezhnev i wish i could call him boyfriend brezhnev i don't need a new name help me name this baby i think we have to stick with the soviet theme that is so loud i like brezhnev i like this document both men enter kitchen in the american exhibit nixon i want to show i want to show you this kitchen. It is like those of our houses in California.

That's my Nixon. I can't do it fucking Nixon. That's your Randy's. You're right. Accent. It's kind of my old-timey accent too. Fuck. I was telling Tom the other day, I can't wait till I'm like an old-ass man

and I get to have an old-timey southern accent. Yo, boys, get off. What is accent. Yo, boys, get off. What is happening? You boys, get off of my lawn. It is so hot out here. I am melting like a wave. How you done step away from that there? You sound like you were born in 1846.

They're like, sir, it's 2050. Your house is a robot. Robot. Krushnev. Your capitalistic attitude toward women does not occur under communism. Nixon. I think that our attitude, this attitude towards women is universal. Whoa.

What? Nixon was saying it was human nature. Yeah. Nixon was saying that, like are patriarchy is a human nature ball and chain am i right i mean he's not wrong if he thinks that the u.s was like found he's not wrong if he's basing that on christianity basically all religions this is uh khrushchev said we have steel workers and peasants who can afford to spend fourteen thousand dollars for a house your american houses are built to last only 20 years so builders could sell new houses at the end.

We build firmly. We build for our children and grandchildren. Wow. Damn, Khrushchev. Told them all. All of the quotes from Khrushchev are so intense. Errol Morris, Robert McNamara, Fog of War documentary has Khrushchev. And he's got this amazing quote in there about like the Cuban Missile Crisis where he's like.

Him and Candidate on the phone. Yeah. And he says something like, I have seen the war torn Ukrainian fields. He said, both of us are pulling from two sides of a rope, the knot of which you do not want to untie once it becomes undone. I don't know. It's just like so lyrical. And Kennedy's just like... Oh my God.

He's so little. He's so little. And I got distracted from my... I'm sorry. ...Krushnev-Devshav-Dev impression. Our special guest is too cute. She's trying to hit the vape. Big Krush. She's like, let's name him Krush's name him maybe i should call him vape god give me that lounge we haven't talked about vape god let's call her lounge we haven't talked about vape tasia

i know i've seen that before though it's come up in my fucking algorithm before you think yeah i don't know my instagram algorithm thinks that i'm a really douchey like bro guy because i always get mechanic memes you know like cars going fast or like fucking falling in ditches and people nearly dying and shit or i get like um respect the troop memes i get a lot of those let's get those faves going for the troops i don't get any of that mine's all tennis and world star hip hop. Mine is a lot of clothes and bourbon. So y'all's reflect the actual things that you like.

Why do mine reflect... I don't do any online shopping. You're too irony poisoned, man. I don't do any online shopping is the thing. You're right. Irony poisoning the although somewhat problematic it is it insulates you from yeah it does insulate you from consumerism you are correct we should go see like we looked at our google we should see what the first one is oh fuck oh khrushchev um big khrush khrushchev this is yeah we're naming this little guy khrushchev khrush khrush this is the show cat this is i love this fucking cat dude oh this is lotion

if you don't want this cat i'll take the shit i thought that's what you want i thought you want to name the cat lotion i'm not i want i need a third cat k Khrushchev. Right here. Oh, Jesus. The Americans. The Americans have created their own image of the Soviet man, but he is not as you think. You think the Russian people will be dumbfounded to see these things, but the fact is that newly built Russian houses have all this equipment right now. I think he's pretty right.

Maybe not all Russian houses, but they have achieved a pretty good degree of providing for people. I don't know. I'm just a Soviet propagandist. I don't even know what's real and what's not. I'm a Soviet propagandist. This is a Russian blue cat.

Yeah, Russian blues. That's what Arrow is. Maybe I should just call... I should give it a Russian name, I guess. Yeah. Khrushchev. Hey. Khrushchev. Hey. Hi, Khrushchev. Khrushchev. I can't even say that.

Hi. Oh, my God. What was Khrushchev's first name? Nikita? You look very angry, as if you want to fight me. Are you still angry? Khrushchev said that to Nixon? Khrushchev said that to Nixon.

Khrushchev would have beat the shit out of Nixon. Oh, fuck yeah. He would have mopped his ass it's clear to me that construction workers didn't manage to finish their work and the exhibit still has not put in order just classic hate hater just like this shit is not put together this shit is fucking this is a piece of shit just hating on all of them this is what america is capable of this is what america is capable of and how long has she existed 300 years 150 years of independence and this is her level we haven't quite reached 42 years and in another seven years we'll be at the level of america oh no and after that we'll go farther as we pass you by we'll wave hi to you and then if you want we'll stop and say please

come along behind us if you want to live under capitalism go ahead that's your question an internal matter it doesn't concern us we can feel sorry for you but really you wouldn't understand we've already seen how you understand things that's what he told nixon the veins are popping out of your forehead you're so you are revved up wow man this is crazy what year was this 1959 the soviet union was pretty tight until i just love that uh this is how long you've existed 300 150 years since independence and this is the best you can fucking do we've existed for 42 years oh my god it Incredible. Absolutely incredible. Wow.

But I guess in the end, capitalism won, or at least it's winning right now. But, you know. Aren't we hanging on to the LAT? What? Just assuming that it's the end? Is this what we're hanging our hat on right now? No. Well, if the Russians proved anything, it's that you got to actually.

There is no late anything. You got to fight for it. Isn't that why it's late? We're getting organized or something? Right. Yeah, yeah. That makes sense. Or something.

I like Khrushchev. Big Khrush. We're not naming the cat Khrushchev. Okay, what about Brezhnev? Yeah, we need Brezhnev. He's even kind of got the eyebrows. Brezhy, Brezhy. Dang it, that lift his ears.v? Yeah, we need Brezhnev. He's even kind of got like the eyebrows. Brezhi, Brezhi, Brezhi. That lift his ears.

I look like Brezhi, Brezhi. He's so good. Brezhi, hi. I can't believe how good he is. Yeah. Because this is a cat haven. This is like a good, this is just a regular old cat den.

He's like right at home. Right at home, man. PB and Leon just ditched. Yeah. Didn't even notice him. They like to do that. I thought maybe bringing him over here would be weird and the cats would have Leon just ditched. Yeah. Didn't even notice him. They like to do that. I thought maybe bringing him over here would be weird and the cats would have, like, a standoff. No.

Nah. They keep it light. Those are really funny. Every time Leon is sitting in the window over there, PB just gets literally right on top of him. It's just like, yeah, I want to lay here, too. You want to get a little cat time in? A little kitten time? Nah, I was just trying to see if he was more of a

Brezhnev or Neither. Khrushchev. What are all your papers here? Have we not gotten to what you wanted to talk about? No, mostly we did. Oh, the Pike County credit rating. There was one other thing I wanted to talk about

and it was the Trump ordering Rick Perry to the Department of Energy to take immediate steps to stop coal closures that was the only thing i wanted to talk about because the only the only reason i wanted to talk about it was because there was a hearing today like a senate oversight hearing committee hearing on like for the federal electricity or federal energy regulatory commission or whatever um but the the commissioner firk said that it could raise the cost of electricity by 65 billion dollars per year if they go through with actually um implementing this plan which would basically mandate coal um buyers power plants to purchase more coal,

even though it's more expensive than natural gas. And they've been trying to figure out how to do this for months, apparently, the Trump administration. They tried to do it under a clause in the Constitution or something, or a federal executive order a few months ago and then they backed off of it to nationalize coal plants basically to nationalize well this this headline is a bit misleading a trump plan to nationalize this is just the article that i pulled it from it wouldn't it wouldn't exactly nationalize the the coal plants it would just basically intervene in the market and say

that plants have to purchase coal over natural gas, cheaper natural gas, and not just coal, but nuclear too. How's the invisible hand not working out? The invisible hand's not. Whatever the fuck. Well, you know, in our discussions about the limits of neoliberal projects vis-a-vis non-profits in places like Appalachia. I've thought about this. All these groups, these little community groups

and stuff and people that we've associated ourselves with and worked with and whatever. Our friends. Have all been singing about Cole's death nail and Cole's done and all this stuff. But if they're just going to get some sort of huge bailout type thing,

taxpayer-funded bailout type thing, they'll just run Cole at a fucking loss to be eligible for it. Yeah, well, it is interesting. If it makes financial sense, you know, if they could afford to do that with the bailout, you know. Like a straight-up bank bailout style? Pretty much, yeah. Yeah, just a cash grab for coal companies, essentially.

Basically, the way that they're trying to do it legally, from the legal nerds out there, apparently, they're trying to do it under the Defense Production Act, which is an act that was signed into law in 1952 to allow Harry Truman to nationalize the steel industry so he could break a strike or so he could avoid a strike

wow but it is really I mean I know pointing out hypocrisies is so fucking stupid but it's so fascinating to me. This also is the same week, or last week was the week, that Nancy Pelosi and a bunch of Democrats said that if they took back the House in the midterms, they would immediately, what was it, do away with the pay-as-you-go rule or whatever.

There's this rule that says that they have to immediately put a cap on uh federal spending and uh the democrats always abide by it and the republicans never do because they don't actually believe in austere i mean they don't actually you know they just believe in like simulating certain parts of the economy like the defense industry and stuff like that or infrastructure projects if it's politically expedient. Yeah, but Democrats are actually way more, you know, dovish on that kind of stuff. Yeah. Is that the right word?

As compared to hawkish. I got to pee so bad, so I'm just like... Anyways, I just thought that was crazy crazy i didn't have much to talk about about it you know just printed off my articles well talking about a senate committee meeting made me think of last week also next wednesday is west virginia's birthday so shout out happy birthday west virginia shout out um but i just heard about i don't know how i missed this in the media but someone just told me that an oregon senator hopefully y'all heard about i don't know how i missed this in the media but someone just told me that an oregon senator hopefully y'all heard about this and can fill in the gaps uh showed up

with a film crew to a converted converted walmart fucking center where they're housing um children they have ripped away from immigrants that they have detained and tried to go in because no member of Congress has been inside the facility and seen it and he's like I think someone should just be able to see this facility and they wouldn't let him in. They finally made him leave. They arrested him right? No I think they just asked him to leave.

They booted him off the property. Yeah they finally asked him to leave. So like where do we go from here with him? What's the... Well, this is what Tom and I came up with on an episode last week. You all talked about it? No, not really. We were just talking about ice.

Yeah. I didn't listen to your episode. I'm sorry. Yeah. We talked about once we get all the Elon Musk flamethrowers, then we launch a campaign to melt ice. And what we do is we kick in their doors with the flamethrower. And they're like, no!

Oh, no! No! No more! And then you just melt them. They actually turn into water. Like, they start melting to the couch slowly. Like, no! Oh, my God.

It would be totally justified, 100%. And if Homeland Security hears this, please come to my house. I got a fucking gun. Put me out of my room. I got two cats. And a fucking... And a fucking gun. Put me out of my misery. I got two cats and a fucking keyboard. And a fucking shotgun. You should see the artillery piled up in the corner of this cabin.

And an AM FM radio, motherfuckers. I got a PlayStation. I will fancy a shiv out of the antenna and I will scratch you. I'll pull out this Nintendo Switch and you won't know what hit you, bitch. No, no. I will barrel roll you. Their hands melt to the fucking TV remote because they're just pieces of shit. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. All right. Well, that wraps up this week's show. Go check out our Patreon. Oh my god Alright well that's pretty That wraps up this week's show Go pick Check out her Patreon My cat My new cat needs food And a new name

Brezhnev Or Khrushchev Vote in the comments On those two Like for Brezhnev Right Yeah like for Brezhnev Retweet for Khrushchev

Yeah Retweet for Khrushchev Alright Little sweetie Alright that's the episode this week he's already betrayed me for number one cat dad over here yeah that's right cat daddy