Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 61: Glamping in Desolate Valley

Episode Date: July 20, 2018

Tanya tells us about her latest adventures, dropping into canyons on helicopters like she's Tom Cruise and totally shredding the river gnar. Then we discuss a new trend known as "glamping," also known as "glamour camping." Come to the show tonight (7/20) at Summit City in Whitesburg and watch Trillbilly guests Lee Bains III & the Glory Fires play with Tarence's band Tenure. Show starts at 9:30pm. Check out the new Glory Fires album here: http://dongiovannirecords.11spot.com/lee-bains-iii-the-glory-fires-youth-detention.html Check out Tenure here: https://soundcloud.com/user-tenureky/circuits-iii

I'm going to ask you again. Don't make me ask you three times. Are you ready to fucking rock and roll tonight? I've never been ready to rock and roll. Tonya, you look ready to rock and roll with that fucking Pigeon Forge-ass hat on. Backwards and out. This morning, Michelle said,

you look like you're going to take my lunch money. It's just because I didn't want to wash my hair. I do that all the time time I'm kind of into it I love it Well it's cooler if it's on backwards Like temperature wise Oh but also Fashion wise

But front ways it's just real busy But I had this made for my birthday In Gatlinburg It says no It says no with a rainbow airbrushed over it. Rainbow airbrushed with the letters N-O. I have to tell you. The greatest one word spell is no.

When we pulled up to record here, and if I hadn't known your car, I thought I was going to have an interaction with a real street tough. Yeah, the flowers on my shirt don't give away that I'm a doe bitch. Do they have any... So you just had that made.

Yeah, it was just plain white. It's pink mesh trucker. What do they call this? Airbrush. Airbrush? Yeah, airbrush. Have you ever seen like an airbrush Confederate flag or anything? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, and there were multiple... I won't go into stores that have Confederate flags out front, and so it really limits my ability to pay trip. How do you shop in Tennessee? But there were no, I did not personally see any rebel flags in this shop where I got this hat made. But there was a t-shirt in the window that we think was homophobic. What did it say? It said, I ain't gay, but $20 is $20.

I'm not really sure how to take that, honestly. I thought a funny joke, and me and Terrence do this in the car from time to time when it's just me and him. Keep going, sorry. Just the headphones. Oh, okay. There you go. I think a funny way to set up a joke is,

I ain't gay or anything. And then just tell a completely unrelated joke. But it doesn't like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But two for one breakfast burritos at McDonald's is the best deal going. Yeah, the shirt was black. It was white text. And it just said, I ain't gay. Real big.

And so when we saw it, we saw it walking up. And we couldn't see nothing else. And I was like, oh, fuck. Well, this can't be good and then the bottom said but twenty dollars is twenty dollars i ain't gay or anything but a three percent interest rate is a three percent eight three percent apr best deal going so the guy who airbrushed my t-shirt uh my hat rather i had my dolly for president patch back patch on my vest white denim vest yeah my white denim vest with my dolly for president back patch and pack batch is that what i said pack batch pack batch

um and so i you know i paid him i picked up my hat i paid him and then i left and when i dropped picked it back up he had seen my patch it was like an hour later and as soon as i came to the door he said he looked up and he said you know dolly could be president if she wanted to in all seriousness yeah he seriously heard i said yeah i know i know she could be he said she really probably could she's popular enough and i I was like, yeah. I said, yeah, and she's got the right politics for the most part, even though she claims not to be very political. We know better.

And he said, yeah, that's probably true. I don't know. I'm of the opinion that extremely wealthy people have sort of Frankenstein politics. They probably believe in... The Anthony Bourdain interview, did you read that? No. It was his last interview. Oh, God. It was on that website. Popular or whatever. Did you read it?

This mic smells like beer. Interesting. It's a party mic. Probably Matt Carter. That's a rock and roll mic. Is that him just huffing into this mic? Yeah. Beer breath? Probably.

That is sick. God, Matt. Want to switch me mics? Be somebody, Matthew. But literally just huffing beer breath into this mic has turned it into beer mic. Well, Matt's the only person on the show recently who actually imbibes. Imbibes. Imbibes.

That's a terrible word. But no, the Anthony Bourdain interview, he was like, he was like, one second he like bashed the fuck out of Occupy, but then the next second he was like approvingly quoting Lennon. Oh, wow. So. That's interesting. That is actually a trend, I think.

I mean, even like, it's even made the mainstream. Kristen Gillibrand has those Frankenstein politics. I just think if you're wealthy, your opinions in politics don't have any real world application. So they can just be

a sort of a symbol. You're going to be fine whatever the reality is. Yeah, exactly. Although I think it's different if you were born into money and not. Like if you've never. I mean, most people with money have never known life without money. Right.

And we've talked about that. Generational wealth. But Dolly is one who has certainly known life without. Unless you grew up the daughter of a sharecropper. Much of her philanthropy is around poverty, elimination, and literacy. What did you say? I said she grew up the daughter of a sharecropper, right? I didn't even know those existed still.

What existed? Sharecroppers. Well, in her day, like, Dolly's getting up there. I mean, she looks great. I'm just saying she's getting up there. Yeah, I think he was a farmer. Yeah. It's probably very problematic for me to say.

I'm sure somebody will comment, oh, they're our sharecroppers, buddy. Yeah, hey, buddy. Listen, motherfucker. Listen here, you fucking cactus ass. I love it when people at Terrence on Twitter. That's my favorite Twitter. My favorite Twitter is at Terrence.

At Terrence Ray. Say a little bit more about that. Anytime anybody ats Terrence, I love it. I assume I only see a very small percentage of the at Terrence tweets. I need to get the fuck off the main account and carve my own trail because you guys are really lapping me in the individual accounts. Just because all I use my personal Twitter for is a propaganda arm for the podcast. Yeah.

Yeah. You're in it for the crew. I need to... No, me and Tanya got a... We're out here building our own brand. Oh, I made money for my birthday.

Yeah, I was gonna ask you. How much? 140 bucks. God. God damn. Did you have to send any nudes for that? No.

Just off PayPal, huh? Yeah, off PayPal. Motherfucker. No nudes. I would have. Damn. Just so you fuckers know know you could have got some titties out of the deal but you didn't this week that's like that's like selling somebody uh a chevy cobalt or whatever and being like you could have got the Porsche for that. Whatever. This weekend, my friend referred to her own tits as cow tongues.

And so I feel like I just want to be like, I'll send you a pic of my cow tongues. What is the analogy there? Are cow tongues really long and floppy? Yeah, I think. Okay. Hey, listen. I just imagine them as a big version of any tongue. Those are some underrated titties, the cow tongues are.

The cow tongue titties. I'm a fan of the whole genre myself. Me too. All boobs are good boobs. I've made skater bites to triple Zs. I have made patches that say all boobs are good boobs. I believe it. I don't.

I'm not hopping on this one. Well, you have not appreciated a West Virginia strip club then. Because you get the whole spectrum. Oh, yeah. Full buffet. And all equally as good. Amazing. They're unwise.

Absolutely. I usually just call them pancake tits, but cow tongue takes it to a whole new level. I like that. Does that mean that they have like a rough sort of sandpaper-like? I don't know. I should have asked all these clarifying questions. Please go on about your boobs. Have you ever eaten cow tongue?

I don't think so, but who knows what's in a hot dog. Good point. Good point. Those used to have them at the store. Probably butthole, if I had to guess. Cal Butthole. Crazy, I just watched Letcher County Butcher. I told you we were having this like lunch movies.

How's that? It was brutal. I'd never seen it before. The only saving grace is that it's in black and white. So you get spared a little of the gore. Yeah, you're spared a bit of the gore. When was it filmed? 1970.

So do they like, what kind of... I'm imagining, like, Apocalypse Now, like, them chopping off of a live cow's head. But the soundtrack is all harmonica. Interesting.

Classic Apple Shop editorial production choice. It's crazy. I recommend it, actually. What does blood look like in black and white? It looked like a river. He literally slit its throat, and it just looked like a river flowing behind him. Suddenly, there was an entire creek.

There's a John Prine song where he's going to the lake to save his marriage, and he says, you know what blood looks like in black and white? Shadows. Oh, my God. That sounds a little more and white? Shadows. Oh, my God. That sounded a little more like Bob Dylan than John Primer. Whatever. Shadows. Shadows.

Yeah. Let Your County Butcher. Yeah. Well, that's cool. It's just like 10 minutes long. How was the other movie you watched? We saw In Your Blood, which I'd seen before. It's pretty good.

It's a young Herbie Smith. They were all made in 1970 what's in your blood in your blood is it's kind of a drama like it's scripted a little it's pretty cute and most of the scenes they're all in lecture county but the whole opening like first few minutes are at whitesburg city pool so that's really cool oh nice and he's like flirting with the lifeguard girl uh problematic already yeah then they're like talking and he's like yeah my daddy's on on a night shift so i can't borrow the car like i used to and she's like shame you can't get your daddy's car and then he's like in the car with his buddy wait wait so he scripted that like um

with his buddy. Wait, wait, so he scripted that? Like, um... Yeah, it's scripted. Her saying, that's a pretty good, that's a pretty good, sort of.

Yeah, and then you really don't notice her saying that in the conversation they're having and then it cuts in later. There's like a memory sequence at the very end

where he's like flashing all these memories from the film and it's her saying, shame you can't get your daddy's car. That's, uh, in 1970s terms that meant that uh she was gonna that would add him a little bit yeah yeah and herby scripted it that way that's what i was getting at earlier probably so anyway then he's like for all he uh he's in the

car with his friends his friend says yeah i'm buying a car because my dad got me a job making 20 a day down wherever mine and he's like oh that's pretty good and though then then it cuts to him frolicking in the mountains in the creek by himself he's like you know running with youthful joy through uh like really pretty watery scene uh and then he's like at the mine where his friend got this job talking to the other guys that work there and that's where he gets the nut then he's like how you how long you worked here how you like it oh he's just like asking him about it and they're all like and the guy's like i worked here 25 years it's all i know it's all i do he said you don't he said you don't mind it.

He said, the only time you mind it is on Monday morning. The rest of it's just. The one thing that all jobs have in common. Except for I mind mine every day, every morning. And then one of the guys said, yeah, it just comes natural to you. It's in your blood. And that's where he got the name of the film. And then the last kind of act, it's just 20 minutes total.

The last kind of act is him flipping through, him like running through the mountains, feeling free. The girl saying, shame can't get you down his car. His friend saying, his friend. He's playing over. I know how that goes. I have been in that situation. We're like. His friend saying, I got a job.

I'm getting a car. Oh, that is the worst. When there's one huge hindrance to you getting a day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you just replay that line over and over in your mind. Just like, oh, shame. Shame you didn't see that text message. Nah. Nah.

God, fuck. Shame you didn't see me at you. Anyway, then the last scene Is him Buying a car Him like test driving a car And like hearing all this I'll be damned If I let that happen again

He's like He's like not gonna work in the mines La la la But he's like somehow figured out He's buying this car Is that Is that one of the thirstier acts Like you get

Knocked out of some poon Because you didn't have a car So you go put yourself in debt To make sure it doesn't happen again Well back, yeah, you know Back then that was Or even now It was a sign of like

If you got a car, you know You can go to the movies You can do that It frees you up a little bit Speaking of cars I was thinking about this last night because you know a laid back country picker played in Whitesburg

and he drives that old cop car around and I was thinking about it the other day I think one way to to reduce crime while not furthering the expansion of the police state and also

cutting back on their surveillance state is if we just issued every single person one of those police cars because then every single person would constantly be like oh shit is that the actual cops oh my god the rising side I do that all the time the only way you can tell is if

and this will surprise you in a few eastern Kentucky counties, but if they're a little rattier than normal, you know what I mean? You have a little more wear on them. That's how you know it's not a cop. Do away with the cops and CCTV, but give every single person one of those old cop cars. Oh, my God. And then nobody will commit crimes. There's like a whole new, what's it called?

Universal income. Exactly. But with cop cars. God damn. But with McGuffin County Cadillacs. I love that. Exactly. He put on a great show.

He always does. I did not realize. I watched one of the videos, but somehow I missed the whole aesthetic of Honey. Teresa's whole vibe killed me. I was crying. Oh, yeah. It's funny. It's hysterical.

Y'all keep talking. Did y'all see her last night? I saw the pictures of her up on her current rollers. Oh, my God. It was so funny. I'm going to go back and watch their videos again, I guess. I don't know. Oh.

All right. Sorry. So, anyways. I'm not gay, but. I ain't gay. I ain't gay, but... So that was in Gatlinburg? What, the t-shirt? Yeah.

Yeah. Gatlinburg. How else was your vacation, Tanya? Not long enough. I haven't seen you in a while. I haven't seen you in weeks. I've been on like three vacations. I honestly thought the worst.

Well, I really did though because you were on a whitewater whatever and you hadn't tweeted in a while. I hadn't heard anything from you. I was like. Well, I didn't have, there was no phones or anything on that trip. I was gone for five days.

I figured that. And I alerted everyone who I thought might think I was dead. I guess I thought you all knew. Except the two people who automatically assume the worst. Except the two people who automatically assume the worst. Except the two conspiracy theories in my life. Anxiety-ridden conspiracy theory.

A literal peak paranoia. It's true. Peak paranoid. But yeah, it was five days without phones. It was like nobody had a phone. There was no internet or anything out there. It was really, really lovely. Yeah, yeah.

Genuine human interaction for five days. days yeah it's pretty crazy to think about and and ever since then i've been plugging my phone in in the kitchen so i don't have it at night and in the morning yeah i'm like the shitty thing is that in three months you'll be back no no checking it again as soon as you wake up i can't i don't want that thing to be the first thing i touch in the life okay this is funny this uh this was i can't. I don't want that thing to be the first thing I touch and the last. Okay. This is funny. This was, I can't take credit for this. I saw it, you know, like a little short film back in the spring. Called It's In Your Blood. And this film fest I went to.

No. Oh, God. But it was like, it came up this quote on the screen. And it was like this sexologist. And she said, it's the last thing and the it's the last thing you stroke at night and the first thing you stroke in the morning and we were all like oh god and then it popped up your cell phone it's true it was like oh fuck me it is true not for me anymore yeah well you know it's i'm on my high horse about it right now I can tell Yeah I have to feel a little condescended to

Cut it out Have y'all heard of those Was it one of you who was telling me about the Anxiety blankets The weighted blankets I've heard about them yeah So they're like really heavy And I guess they just sort of depress your chest

And so you don't Have anxiety They probably make you feel held. Like cradled, you know? Some of us, that gives us more anxiety. I've heard that it has helped some people, I'm sure. I mean, I don't think all anxiety is not created equal, right? Right.

That's a good point. I think for some people, it's probably. That's a good point I think for some people it's probably I was thinking the other day You know those memes that are like 80 years ago men were storming the beaches of Normandy And now they're using They got puppy ear filters

Now they got mixed pronouns You know what I'm saying I thought a funny one would be like, men used to wear suits of armor. Now they wear anxiety blankets. Yeah, that's a good one. That's gold, man. Yeah. That's 16,000 retweets and 30,000 likes.

Anyway, so yeah, Utah. You went down a river. Did you like um were you in one of those like big rafts did you have a guide yeah there were 14 of us like women non-binary people uh and three female guides damn and we went 84 miles on the green river god damn fit through 50 rapids in desolation canyon it's the third largest canyon in the country behind the grand canyon and hell's canyon but there's only like a few feet between them and there's actually two spots in desolation that are from i'm repeating god shit i don't know what the

fuck i'm talking about but supposedly there's two spots where desolation is actually deeper than the grand canyon but they flew us in by a fucking airplane. Oh my God. I would have put up. And about halfway through. It's no shit. Yeah, the airplane scared the fuck out of me. It was like two little non-passenger planes. And halfway through, because there were other groups, there were other like guided groups in there.

There was a couple unguided groups and they didn't have life jackets on, which is illegal. And our guides told them a bunch of lies. They were looking at a map. And then there's a rock called Log Cabin because it looks like a cabin at the top of the thing. And it's like old wives tell that it's a real cabin. And you can hike up there. But one, you can't hike up there. And two, it's a fucking rock.

And these people were pulled off like pointing and like looking at this book. And we were just sitting there in the guide haulers. Hey, y'all looking for the Log Cabin cabin and she was like yeah how do we get up there and the guy was like there's a trail around the back side and we all looked at him she was like you hadn't mentioned that to us and we got she was like grinning ear to ear we get on down she's like that ain't no log cabin and there ain't no trail and i was like that is brutal we're in the middle of nowhere and you're giving people wrong directions yeah three people just

yeah turned up skeletons she said it won't take them long to realize there ain't no fucking way to get up there she's like they'll take 10 steps and realize you can't get up there right you just look at it but i was just like holy shit That's pretty crazy That's how like Every survival movie Starts Dropped in by helicopter Dropped in by helicopter Yeah

And then some hillbilly Telling them Some bad information Exactly Yeah There's a trail On the back side And he's doing this

The whole time Yeah it was fucking awesome. No, we had three big oar boats that the three guys paddled. And you could just sit in those. You didn't paddle. You just held the fuck on. And then we had three little duckies. And so I paddled about a third of the 84 miles in a little ducky.

I paddled through the biggest rapid we did. It was awesome. Do you even really have to paddle? I mean, those rivers out there are pretty crazy pretty crazy right they just sort of throw you around yeah but through the rapid you have to like thread a fucking needle to get through the sun bitch we've had to scout most of them and she was like okay you have to go this way and then cut really deep left and out this way or else did you come here fucking spent did you come to any like conclusions about like um cooperation or humanity you're connecting this to all human beings i mean it was just like a it

was a week without men so right so it's like a lot of that sounds like the perfect sort of um atmosphere in which you develop some really profound conclusions about the human existence well you know we did like talk a lot about you know life lessons from the that the river gives you um about like getting through things right in front of you and la la la but mostly it was just like a fucking utopian because literally every time we would bank for camp one was just fun it was just like fucking fun i mean i went through three different rapids where the waves were over my head and they just crashed down on me and i was like scared and ecstatic at the same time and i just feel like there's so few moments in adulthood where you like feel childhood joy yeah and i was like feeling

true yeah yeah i was like feeling like real actual fear that's not related to some insecurity i have or like actual i could die potentially yeah like actual fear that's not related to personal insecurity or national insecurity like when i was six you were constantly coming up to things in your life that were challenging you to take chances or whatever. And now it's just like, I've got heartburn and we've got a show tonight. Yeah, it's like I had to trust my instincts. I had to trust the person guiding me because I never guided any of the ducks. I did one morning and I fucked it up and I was like, we got to switch.

I'm fucking, I can't do it. I was just the power in the front of the boat and someone else was guiding the back of the boat yeah um but yeah and it's just like giddy but like the first big rapid i went through and those duckies know your legs are straight out it's like an inflatable kayak basically my whole the whole front of the boat went underwater and i was completely emerged in water and i was like we're going down I just fucking knew we were sinking but it's just cause I was bigger than

the girl in the back and we just like went in nose first but we popped right back up and then at the end of the rap and she was just like

what did you say and I was like never mind we're fine we're great good job if that would have happened do you think

Trump would have made a did y'all see he made a statement about that boat that flipped in Missouri? Oh, God. And killed 13 people? What kind of boat?

It was like a ducky boat. A duck boat. That's what made me think about it because you said duckies or whatever. A duck boat? Yeah, it's like a boat that can walk on land and then get in the water. There was like 65 mile per hour winds, crazy storms or something that capsized this boat in Lake Branson, Missouri. But I saw that Trump made a statement about it today.

What the fuck did he say? He's just like, there's good people, a lot of beautiful people lost. Oh, my. Terrible thing. God, really? Beautiful people. Yeah, that's what he said. He said, what did he say?

A lot of dreams made in Branson over the years. Oh, my. He said this. A lot of good things. Well, it's his whole, he does his whole, like, I'm convinced that he has, like, a lot of good things well it's his whole he does his whole like i'm convinced that he has like a sort of speaking style that maybe have one sort of like allowed him to at least stay relevant in the sort of business circles he you know there's only there's always one guy in the room who's a clearly a one-trick pony i used to work with he's exactly he's a one-trick pony

and then like he they'll be quiet as long as they can in the room until they clearly until they clearly need to put something into it because this is literally what me and tom are guilty as soon as it's clear people are looking at you wondering what your opinion is you're gonna be like you know i really just mark really hit the nail on the head here and and all of you people just i'm just so thankful to be in this room with all of you. Here's my trick. Here's my trick. Here's my trick.

I was going to tell you like how emotional it is for me to see you all going through this process together. That's not even an exaggeration. There are people that literally do that. Oh yeah, I've worked with them. They're always men. Well, if you're asking me, I'd just echo what Bonnie was saying.

And then if the conversation switches to basketball or tennis, I can actually impart some wisdom. But that doesn't happen very often. When it does, I just... Well, there's two types. There's several types. I guess there's that. Then there's the type that just uses the sort of buzzwords

of everything that's going on. The synergy in this room. Real good synergy. Synergy is the worst thing Is that SJW Donald Trump you were doing there? SJW. Yeah.

Creative space, placemaking, folks. Have you heard of it? You turn a big brick wall into a big mural. A brick wall into a big mural. Here's what's gonna to happen, folks. We're going to make these spaces, if we do this,

we're going to make these spaces intersection. No, no, no. That's not right, Don. That's what he mean. We have to be intentional about how we show up in these spaces in the world that we're going to change with creative

placemaking. Tom said that the, like, sort of purest, like, like the perfect sort of like Chomskyian syntactic expression of social justice sort of praxis or whatever, meetings, is the following sentence. We need to be intentional about how we show up in these spaces in the world which and none of it means it means nothing it means nothing it means literally right it's exactly like right i put shoes on to get here that was intentional i walked right in the door why'd you come in here looking like that? Right, right. So, so did

y'all have any, so you, did you camp out every night? We camped every night and that was where this like cooperation you speak of. I mean, there's a lot of cooperation and like communication in the boat. Like for instance, one time in the boat, my friend in the back said, you're doing great.

And I thought she said, take a break. And we were in the middle. We were in the middle of the rapid and so i stopped oh shit wait because it was like a two and i thought she meant like like stop stop paddling because she would have to say like paddle harder stop really concerning if you are ever just in a situation where you decide you have to just follow orders or something that's like trump's would or wouldn't thing yeah six people dead i'm sorry i thought you said take a break i did and i was like i know so i stopped and i said take a break she was like no you're doing great i was like oh fuck okay i like started paddling again and she was like and she said sorry

i should have thought of a different word I should have been like good job so there was some of that but then at night we set up such an elaborate like pretty bougie campsite as someone who's a pretty lazy camper like a pretty bougie campsite really quickly because we would like make these little like quick we call them fire lines like little assembly lines where we would like run all our gear off the boat into the middle of the island we were camping on or wherever um we would all line up and fire line every fucking everyone's personal bag every fucking tent all the shit all like the whole kitchen into whatever direction we wanted it to go quick as fuck it was crazy like the first night was a little iffy and then we got better every time you know

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah did y'all do uh i could just imagine all y'all doing trust exercises in the middle did you did you do anything like that no the whole fucking things are trust but that's what i'm saying to prepare you for the next day's journey no i gotta be able to trust you linda catch me no i think the trust exercises were we were all bathing together so it was like that's what i was gonna say that's what was so utopian about it like because i took a hammock and so two nights i could i found a place two of the four nights i found a place where i could put up my hammock and sleep in it and so i was like as soon as we got the boat, I like ran up to try to find a spot.

And I'll turn around and look. And there's like six naked women in the water immediately. Just like stripped off to bathe immediately. And there was never any like, it was just never even a fucking conversation. No one ever was like, hey, everybody's naked. There were no perverts is what you're saying. Literally no perverts. Except you. But I turned around and I but i turned around this is so beautiful like i can't even little do they

know that you are secretly i was i was the pervert but it was just like every time they were just like sloths of naked women in the water i was just like this is heaven this is what heaven is it's like no body shaming or insecurity we all just like trust one another and we're all just like this is heaven this is what heaven is it's like no body shaming or insecurity we all just like trust one another and we're all just like in the water we're like kiki cutting up it does sound like heaven it was heaven it was amazing wow it was so nice like those are just like really nice little moments and then like one like one day was really hot, really windy. And because it was so like the wind made it really hard to paddle. And we, two boats flipped that day.

We just like had a really hard day. And when we got to the campsite, one of the women was like, well, a couple people laid down. And we're just like, just like laid down immediately on our little sleeping pads. Like, and we're just like, I'm down immediately on our little sleeping pads like and we're just like i'm fucking dead and then other people started laying down and so one of the women was like okay i'm gonna bring around some spa treatment she like took a bunch of like cool stuff out of her bag and it ended up that all the women laid down together we like all laid down in this row and kathleen said okay spa's open and she ended up going around and like giving everyone little hand massages and putting little oil on our foreheads. And we joked that we were in a spa.

We were in this camp spa. But she had just packed a bunch of shit. So she was like, next is coming your lavender spray. And she literally had a lavender spray and she sprayed all of us. This is incredible. It's the cutest shit. It was the cutest shit. In the middle of a place called Desolation Canyon

Yeah in the middle of Desolation Canyon Do you think the presence of one Y chromosome Would have Fucked up everything Who knows A couple different times There were no other all female trips out there at that time And we would like occasionally

On our hikes We would kind of cross paths with other groups and we were walking past this group and this woman goes wait are y'all all woman's group and we were like mostly almost we're the wonders whatever and she was like that fucking rule you can just tell she was dying she's like with her piece of shit boyfriend she's just like they take charge and say no we need to go way. And then they lead them fucking eight miles out of the way. And they get eaten by a fucking bear. She was just like, God, this fucking rules.

They were like, join us. Come on. We're having a great time. That sounds badass. Yeah, I mean, I saw 1,200-year-old petroglyphs, like the most detailed petroglyph panel I've ever. It was fucking Wild

What was it? What were the drawings? It was Big titties Cow tongue titties Cow tongue tits It said I ain't gay

But No it was all People, plants, and animals And then I shit you not We can google it right now There was a fucking spaceship it was like a huge panel i thought you're gonna say a dick like you know just like people like kind of stick peopley and a lot of spirals and some like clear like plants and animals like cows

and stuff all like doing little different things it was like town scenes and then at the top like way away from everything is a fucking spaceship what kind of space like a flying saucer yeah like a fucking saucer like my earrings look at my earrings this is literally what it was and we were all like holy fuck damn do you think it was like the moon or something it's like they uh no refuse to believe you think do you believe in ancient aliens? I've never asked you this before. I believe in all life forms, Terrence. I believe in the potential of life. Oh, wow. I don't believe in any goddamn thing anymore.

I'm with Reba. Is there life out there? I mean, I do have an airbrushed hat that says no. But that's usually my answer to most things. But I just don't know i'm reading octavia butler right now so i'm like really in the dystopian field you want to believe is what you're saying i literally have earrings that have a spaceship on them that say i want to believe i'm representing my emotions as capitalistically as possible. Do you have a tissue? That's okay.

Do I have to go to the bathroom to get one? Okay, I'll be back. BRB. Probably want to get a toilet, or a paper towel. I just ran out of toilet paper today. Do what? Do you not shit at home? I do, I do. I shit every day at home.

Usually. I kind of like the thought process of like shitting at work because you're getting paid to shit though i support that yeah like that i only shit at work so i'm getting paid that's a good point to relieve myself damn well that's badass um keep that in mind because that's how the sort of... We can lead a sort of, like, Moses-type insurrection with that sort of, you know, just going through the woods, pulling people into your band of people. You know what I mean? What would have been funny is if you just recruited all the women

and left the man to one man. That's what I mean. Yeah, stole the is if you just recruited all the women and left the man that's what i mean stole the boat you just recruit me exactly well and like the gods are just these like empty this is another cool thing so i did this same trip five years ago with this almost the same group of women and like a few less few extra and they did it all together 10 years ago so this is the third trip but then this past years, we've got together and did local rivers. So I've done like 10 or 12 of the local rivers with this same crew. What's your favorite of the locals? Probably Nantahala.

It's really cool. Where's that at? It's in North Carolina. Okay. Nantahala Falls. Damn. The Hwasi is real fun. I haven't done the Gali.

It's apparently very dangerous. It is. That's where Tom Hansel was headed. He was doing like a five-day. He was going to shoot in a fucking boat. In West Virginia? Down the Gali, yeah. Godspeed, Tom.

It's nice knowing you, motherfucker. I pride myself on my knowledge of river basins. The French Broad is a good river It is good, it's very slow I lost someone out of a boat on that river though It was pretty scary We got them back, no casualties so far But

The Cumberland River is wonderful You start at the falls It's like a six hour run all the way to Cumberland Lake And Excuse me, withfitter a pontoon picks you up and you eat ham sandwiches it's like really fun but they're the worst guides i've ever dealt with in the world really yeah or the guides that in corbin kentucky at the cum in the cumberland

river they are literal fucking jar heads these. These are fucking cowboys. Like veterans? No, maybe not. Yeah, actually, one of them was a veteran. Like, probably. A stolen valor veteran. No, like, yeah, like, probably. An actual.

What do you say it when you're an dishonorable con? An dishonorable discharge? Yeah, that little shit. He sucked so bad. And he kept making the worst fucking jokes and none of us are laughing and so about two hours into a six hour run i finally said dude have you not caught on that you've missed your audience here and he was like hey i can't even know what to fucking say i was like we are literally like a fucking crew. He was fucking insane.

And he was doing like cowboy tricks. Oh, God, that's the worst. Like flipping his kayak upside down and back over and being like, oh, you thought I was gone, didn't you? And it's like, we fucking hoped so, you dumbass. He was just insane. They're just stupid. There's nothing worse than a peacocking man.

On a river where the stakes are high yeah yeah you're on these healing waters and then you're going through kind of scary rapids it's also kind i mean it's a long slow run but there are some big rapids right when i was a kid at the whitesburg pool these uh you know these like older girls would come and lay out to sunbathe and we just thought like what they wanted was for us to splash them and so we just jump over as close to the edge like some guys would try to like hit the ladder like fuck themselves like oh my god but they would just they would get so pissed off and leave and like go find someplace else every time you still thought that's what we still. We still thought. Damn.

Oh, they totally want us, dude. There was this kid when I was in sixth grade, his name was Josh May, and he could do a front flip, and you should have seen it. Like, all the ladies were totally not impressed with the setup of that one. Oh, yeah. Moving right along. It's a different Josh May.

Oh, I know. This fish out of water wasn't doing no flip. Well, anyways. I mean, I've seen Tom front flip over a fucking lawn chair. I'm surprisingly agile for a bigger guy, aren't I? I mean, y'all remember this. We were renting out Wattsburg Pool for something. Your birthday, maybe.

And you set up the chair and you were like getting a run for it like yeah check check it out and everyone there including your girlfriend was like don't do this what do you have to prove we were just like talking to you like dog shit like why are you doing this you're gonna hurt yourself it's concrete you can't clear this chair and then why would you do this and then he stuck it he swan dove over that fucking lawn chair well i saw you played tennis i watched him go play tennis last weekend uh in the whitesburg open it was like the whitesburg open yeah the whitesburg open i've been telling everybody i made the quarterfinals but they don't notice that there were only eight teams in the draw so you were in the quarterfinals if you signed up classic classic dad made the quarter using math tricks all right right right that's pretty badass um but okay

here's my last utah story is that we saw a uh like ranch like the steel intact ranch abandoned and there's like a bunch of funny stories like a ghost ranch maybe yeah it's been ghosted yeah a ghosted ranch like full-on it's super cool but the story goes it had like you know a handful of owners over the years and the guys were like telling us all about like they just i mean you they were just they had to do a ton of research to be able to do this job you know or they just bullshit really well the point was the lead guide she was with this the same woman she was with the group 10 years ago and five years ago so like she's done this with us this whole time the same guide she's awesome where we did these other rivers anyway

in utah but uh so this the story behind this ranch is it had these multiple owners but the constant is that butch casty would was it was like one of his primary hideouts oh nice and there were several um so well let me finish the butch cassidy and then i'll tell you about another like troop there was like a female led um i forgot what they called it but it was like a crew of who were like still always stealing cattle and shit and like running fucking? Oh, the people that steal cattle? An outlaw gang? Yeah, like whatever.

Some fucking, I forget what they call them. Desperados? Tribal? And it was like, it was like one of the first known like female ran gangs or whatever. And she had like a black guy in her fucking gang. It was like this ridiculous. Wait, so one of the guys? The guys told you this? Yes.

She has a name. I can't. ridiculous like so one of the guys literally the guides told you this yes i mean you can all of this is in this like guy they sell you yeah that could easily be that could easily go one way or the other that could become an all right story real fast yeah anywho okay but the butch cassidy story was pretty good uh so one of the owners like but shows up and he's got him bunch of shit he needs to bury And shit you know he's like hiding shit there Robert Redman He shows up And the owner at the time is like Man it's good to see you but we're losing the farm

Like la la la we're losing the ranch Banker's coming tomorrow And I don't have the money And Butch is like well how much you need And he tells him he's like okay well I'll give it to you You just need to make sure you get a receipt. And he was like,

oh, God, this is awesome. Thank you so much. This is great. So the banker comes the next day. They pay him, get the receipt. Sure enough, on the way back to town, the banker gets robbed.

By Butch Cassidy. By Butch Cassidy. Fucking Butch. But then they've got their receipt. So they have their fucking money. So Butch is like, yeah, I'll give you the money.

And then he just goes and gets it back from the fucking dull-ass banker. My man was a genius. Just an absolute genius. That is really the Trill Billy's business model. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. The Butch Cassidy model. We'll sell you a whole herd of cattle, but we're going to steal them back to you at some point. Yeah, I was so inspired by this story.

I was just like, yes. Fuck the bankers. Fuck the bosses. Yeah, hell yeah. Yeah, it was so good. It was a really cute story. Sure enough, on the way back to town, the banker gets robbed. So the guide told you this story as well.

So many stories. Did they also know the story of the UFOfo in the petroglyph no they were i mean they said that's what they thought it was too but they were like you know it's for your own interpretation like whatever you know interesting and so i'm just don't even want to get into it there was all this crazy shit there's because okay the left side of the canyon is all native owned by the u-tribe and so were allowed to camp there, but we weren't allowed to hike there. They don't let people hike on their property. And almost all the wildlife we saw.

Have you ever seen a bighorn sheep? No, I mean, those are mountain goats that like. They're sheep, but they look like goats and they're enormous and they have huge like. They look like mythical creatures. Fucking crazy looking. Every time I about fell out of the boat I was just like what is this What the fuck is that

It's a she it's a mean horn sheep Look at this motherfucker That's a god damn minotaur It looks so mythical We have eradicated most of the large fauna In the east so you gotta go easy on us And we saw a buffalo That they were calling chewy bob damn

it was he apparently that was at the very beginning chewy bob the story was that they told us you know we're just peons at this point we have to believe what we're fit exactly and chewy bob was about two years old and he originally belonged to a ute tribe um herd because they do a lot of big game whatever yeah and but while the river was frozen over the winter it crossed by accident and can't get back to its herd and so chewy bob is true bob's just like hanging out right by the bone and put him in a helicopter and take him home yeah they got they got the fucking helicopter. So, it does seem likely that a helicopter, apparently helicopters

cannot get into canyons. It's like a really bad, it has to be airplane. Like, we came in, we landed on a mesa, I guess is what they call it, on a fucking, we landed an airplane

on a fucking rock bed on top of a mountain, dude, on fucking grass and gravel. Are you Tom Cruise? Is this Mission Impossible? Basically. I got out of that plane. I kissed the fucking ground.

I was like, this was... Every time I get in a helicopter, I have to assume there's a 15% chance I'll die. Every time. Every time. It was a plane,

not a helicopter. How many times have you been in a helicopter? Yeah, how many times have you been in a fucking helicopter? A few times. Tom's like hanging out on the side of a helicopter and like,

Jimi Hendrix is blasted in the background i know rich man's song yeah credence is he's like strapping into it god y'all never took an mtr tour in a helicopter no i've been in a little plane not a helicopter yeah i've seen people do the plane thing little plane i've never been in it um but halfway through the day that we hiked that ranch that butch cassidy ranch um a plane landed right fucking in front of us as it was it was sir it was coming through the canyon as we were like paddling up to the hot to get out for the hike and the guy was like i've never seen a plane down this low in the canyon. This is fucking crazy. And they landed it because a little girl had gotten dehydrated

and they had to fly like an 11-year-old girl out. Goddamn. So I was like, holy fuck. That made it really real. It was like day three and I was like, fuck. So I was like chugging water. I was like, that ain't going to be me. That ain't going to happen to me.

That's probably what the girl did. And then she ran out of water. And that's when she got dehydrated. God. It was terrifying. water And that's when she got dehydrated God It was terrifying Well that's pretty crazy Yeah watching that plane land was wild It was like apocalyptic That's pretty badass

I went camping a few weeks ago But there was no Sirens There was no maidens coming out of the woods And putting essential oils on our foreheads. That's because they knew you and Alex were going to be out there. That was their choices. Exactly.

No, we didn't have that. Where'd you go? Pembroke, Virginia on the New River. The New River. The New. Yes. New River Bridge. A couple of river dogs here so i brought something to read

that's topical okay well i hope we get to talk about how the dems are just impossible to be trolled anymore since we this will probably really launched oh yeah their campaign wait it's not a campaign unless you say unless you go out it's not a campaign unless you are going out and saying it in that voice that's for the people first time first time i hear somebody affect that they will be getting a cease and desist i mean they can't be trolled literally cannot oh i know it's red're right. You're absolutely right. They can't even be trolled. You have to have some self-awareness to be.

You think that Trillbillies was a part of their focus group where they collected a bunch of things? That'd be the damnedest thing if we find out that is. Some intern heard it and just put it in the hat hoping. That's kind of good. To troll them. Seriously, I just love them. That's the story I'm gonna tell what we heard is that some trivially fan intern put it in the ring as a joke earlier we were talking about how um if you're in a group of people and you don't know what to say

that that is one thing i do i either repeat something I heard on a podcast or I just say, well, you can't rule it out. No, can't rule it out. Or, uh, I'm going to have to check out and see what the Brookings Institute has to say.

I'm going with Bonnie on this one. Yeah. I'll just echo what Bonnie was saying earlier. I just love Tom always goes with the Brookings Institute in our life every time. I've only got about six jokes and I know how to space them out to get the most mileage out of them. I ain't gay, but I ain't gay.

Okay, alright. Here's a, this is very topical. I posted this on Twitter, but I think it was while you were in Utah. Okay, I missed a lot of Twitter. Also, I failed to mention we RV'd out there with a bunch of old docks. It was like my gay pilgrimage across the country in an RV, and we

hit up a Colorado dispensary. Oh, did you bring anything back? I did. Damn, are you going to the show tonight? And will you have it with you? I will. I could spot my drummer, a little drummer boy. A little drummer boy. What's cool is the gummies are shaped like mountains.

They're called peaks. It's so sweet. I love it. I like that. I like that. One of the nights we were there, we thought that there was a wildfire because there was like wildfires. There's wildfires raging in Utah right now.

And it was the day the wind blew so fucking hard that wildfire smoke ended up settling in the canyon. And we didn't know what was ahead. And we had to satellite phone out to make sure it wasn't a wildfire it was fucking scary for a minute and when the fucking guy came over and said well wonders we might be dealing with a wildfire i was about eight tablets deep my eight tarts i've got all these tarts not lucid at all and so i was like i perked up in my camping chair. I looked around. I was like, should we wet everything down? Should we go get back in the boat? And then somebody said, hey, Peaks, have a seat up there.

Settle down. Yeah, hey, Peaks. I was worried. But y'all hook you up at the show tonight. Hell yeah. All right. Okay. So this was in the New York Times.

It's called The Rise of the Stressed Out Urban Camper. Yeah. All right. Okay. So this was in the New York Times. It's called The Rise of the Stressed-Out Urban Camper. It was opening weekend for glamping on Governor's Island, and things were a bit rocky. First... I have to go. I'm sorry. There were three rocks. Thanks to weeks of alternating torrential rain,

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, once the music stopped at 930 and the blazing sun dipped behind the New Jersey skyline, the magic began. Thousands of lights in lower Manhattan twinkled like constellations, and the glowing green Statue of Liberty waved goodbyes, hordes of wine-buzzed,

pastel-clad revelers raced for the last ferry home. The glampers were alone. Apparently, glamping is like camping, but it's like... Controlled Glamour camping Let me tell you guys what it is When you were kids did you ever camp out in your front yard

That's what it is I always called glamping when people Blow up an air mattress and put it in their tent Which I've done before Or like some people rent their airstreams out Yeah But The outfitter we use They do luxury tours their airstreams out. Yeah. You know. Yeah. But, um,

this, the outfitter we use, they do luxury tours. They took out the fucking, uh, what's their names? The Apple people. No,

the Microsoft guy. The Apple heads. The Microsoft motherfucker. Bill Gates? Yeah. Gates. Took out the Gates family. Took them out?

On the river. That's good news. It was a luxury. Pew, pew. Took them out? On the river. That's good news. It was a luxury. Took them out. Full glamping. So you got these people, they're like doing, it's like urban camping, but there's people that are capitalizing on it and turning it into a business. Imagine that.

Listen to this. Joining the Wilmots at Collectives Retreat on the island's south end were scores of other campers in 37 tents, ranging in price from $220 to $650. A tent. For one night? Yeah. In Jersey? Is this for Ozzy Fest?

Yeah, no, it's for... Ozzy? How do we say that? New Yorkers are increasingly desperate to get back to nature, and if that means glamping at a $650 net campsite... New Yorkers are increasingly desperate to get back to nature. And if that means glamping at a $650 New Yorkers are increasingly desperate to get back to nature. After that hillbilly restaurant folded,

they've been trying to find something to... You know what is juxtaposed with this? That video of people trapped in a subway station. Every time I think of New York, I think about that video of people trapped in a dark, hot subway. And water just pouring into it.

God help me. Desperate is a word. I don't know if it's for the land. It's to get the fuck out of Dodge. Oh, the people. That's what it is. Desperate. If you really want to get a good approximation of what glamping is, go look at the Airbnb listings for Asheville, North Carolina.

Asheville got in on the ground floor of glamping. Not that you should Airbnb, I'm just saying. Asheville is a big glamp. You know, in the 1800s, Asheville was probably like a supplies camp for people heading into the mountains to do God knows what. Satanic rituals, et cetera, et cetera. Genocide against the natives. Witchery. Right.

Now it's just a big glamp. That's it. That's the entire town. Asheville really is an odd mix of crust punks and rich people with third homes in Asheville. We don't have a lot of listeners in Asheville, as far as I can tell. It's just telling. Exactly. Because it's very close and nobody fucks with us down there.

That's true. Nobody at Asheville DSA follows us. I've noticed this. Like, I expected, I was like. There is an Asheville DSA. I didn't know there was one. I didn't know. Exactly.

According to a report by Campgrounds of America, they put a K in this. That looks pretty. Campgrounds with America, they put a K in this. That looks pretty... Campgrounds with a K? Don't put a K. Like, if you... It just looks like the KKK. It just looks racist. You know, like when they put Ks in America.

I used to drive by a sign on my way to... Like, when I would go home to... When I was at Moorhead, I would be coming back from Wattsburg. And there was a sign that said, Triple K Post and Mul and every time i passed i was just thinking do they that's a message the fuck is wrong they're trying to send a message we're never gonna let you read this um all right hardcore campers may scoff at glamping and in parentheses there's the quotations glamour camping that is or wimping as it's sometimes called and even glamping outfitters dislike the term but most people agree getting back to nature no matter how

comfortable is better than not going at all recent studies in finland show that walking as little as 20 minutes in the woods helps significantly reduce stress forest bathing popular in j, has been known to reduce stress as well. This is kind of like when those Silicon Valley people wanted to, you know, monetize and commodify gross river water because it was

like getting back to nature. You remember that? Yeah, I do remember that. Gross river water? They were drinking unfiltered, raw water. That's what they were calling it. And those brought to you by the same people that are eating raw chicken. Wasn't that a thing?

Yeah. Right, right, right. A number of New York companies have recently emerged to make the trek into the outdoors as seamless as possible. This guy named Tinter, or this company named Tinter. Tinter, for instance, was created with the New York apartment dweller in mind. The person who doesn't want to bring equipment,

wants an amazing outdoor experience, but doesn't really know where to go, said Baxter Townsend. Public Relationships Direct. Baxter what? Townsend. I can tell you what this motherfucker looks like without even seeing him. Yeah. When you can hear a picture

yeah right right just think tucker carlson but inbred well i mean i'm just saying most rich people are probably inbred yeah yeah uh tucker carlson with hemophilia yeah um mike d agostino a former investment banker Who founded Tinter three years ago After a series of disastrous personal camping trips Has it down to a science Potential campers visit the website Note a series of preferences For example, hike in, views, forest, fishing

And are matched with possible sites And hosts outside the city This is tender Each campsite All on private land is equipped with a durable canvas tent on a raised platform with a memory foam mattress a brazilian hardwood table a camp box for dry storage and benches the fuck a camp toilet adirondack chairs a fire ring sun shower and 24 7 customer service are part of the package i like it i like how he said after a couple disastrous experiences well my god i got out there and there wasn't a tempur-pedic

well yeah something got bit by these goddamn mosquitoes because something like that does happen to him oh god have you seen the american mosquito there's 30 different species god which okay this this little camp thing average will average you around 144 a night for d agostino the lightning bolt moment came on a weekend camping trip with his wife at stoke state forest in new jersey crowded together with dozens of other campers we were literally across the car track from 40 people having a Wiccan full moon party dressed in these white robes, he said. Tanya, where were your

whereabouts that particular weekend? At one point, talk to my lawyer, at one point, a nude woman climbing to have seen a UFO ran through their campsite. It was me! It was 100% you. Oh, God.

We thought... This is so topical. We thought, we have to get out of here. Could you imagine that? We have to get out of here. Him and Baxter. Baxter Townsend. We've got...

We have to get out of here. You mean they caught a glimpse of adulthood, childlike joy? Exactly. And they ran in the other direction? My God, Baxter, they were nude. Well, as I was pointing out on Twitter, this is like all these media organizations are always talking about how they're always broke.

And they'd rather write a story about the guy who goes and has that experience rather than the 40 Wiccans partying in the woods. What's going on with the Wiccans? What's going on with the motherfuckers? That's how you know. Yeah, those are the cool, like, that's who you want to be hanging out. It's an example of one of those stories that's written with a specific audience in mind.

And you read it and you're like, this is, I'm supposed to be the target of this. They're wearing a lot. They were actually shooting a Princess Nokia video. Really? For brew halls This was a Princess Nokia Wiccan circle We thought We have to get out of here

They left early the next morning to head back to Manhattan And saw a beautiful farm on the side of the road I said to my wife Imagine if we could go camping there The world is their oyster Cue the lightning bolt the side of the road. I said to my wife, imagine if we could go camping there. The world is their oyster. Cue the lightning bolt. That's what it says. It says, cue the lightning bolt.

Tinter currently has 500 campsites throughout the Northeast, many of them on struggling farms that can use the extra income. The company takes a 20% commission on every campsite reserved. Every fucking farmer is killing themselves. Nearly half of those using the service have never been camping before,

Mr. D'Agostino said. But even experienced campers have taken to Tinter. Kevin Simonson. I'm going to have to push back a little bit. What's a serious camper? I don't know. I will go ahead and tell you this. If you're on Tinter, you are by no means a serious camper.

It really is Tinder. Tinter. Are you kidding? You weren't joking about that? No, I think that's what they were going for. It's kind of like the sort of innovative. They sort of disrupted the whole camping thing now. These people have an office in Silicon Valley.

Tinter. Guaranteed. Or Asheville. Tenter. Guaranteed. Imagine being a fucking totally in over your head in debt farmer on the outskirts of some shit city. Hiding in your house watching the glampers show up. Yeah.

And every time I say glampers I think of the clampets. Yeah. Watching the clampets show up. The glampers out your window to spin like. To be. That's a day in the life. We have seriously the weirdest goddamn.

Honestly, what they should do is this should be a trap. They should set a trap and kidnap these people for ransom to save the farm. Yeah.

Well, that's where we come in with the Butch Cassidy model. Hey! We lure them out here, we camp them, and then we, like, pull some deliverance shit and make them cough up their money.

It's weird. There's, like, this whole trench of capitalists who, and it's the same thing with Uber. It's the whole disruptive sort of innovation industry in general. But it's just, like sort of innovation industry in general but it's just like they turn existing assets into uh commodities or something by making up fake problems to necessitate their need right like you don't it's okay like i can't camp without getting bitten by mosquitoes god damn it i mean i can't pretty you know, I can tell you it wouldn't cost you $144 a

night to do it. It would cost, you know. Oh, your house would be a glamper's wet dream. Yeah, you're right. You should put this on Airbnb for like $200 and see what happens. All people would eat this shit up. 100%. That's what we ate.

You think somebody would pay you $200 a night to stay here? Appalachian cuisine at the Heritage Kitchen. Probably. I mean, we could, Tom could write the best Airbnb thing. I'm waiting for my... Bumbling Brook down Pine Mountain. Yeah. Come enjoy the...

Then they're going to pull off just off the road. I'm looking for the moment when they just... I'm waiting for the moment when my landlords kick me out of here because they've started renting it out to Airbnb-ers. The next movement, the enclosure movement, will be people getting kicked out of their rented spaces just so they can be rented out to rich people from the city. That is gentrification. Exactly. Almost every Airbnb I've ever stayed in, I think that probably is what happened.

Yeah, yeah. It's weird. Especially in New Orleans, if you've ever. Chattanooga. Yeah. I stayed at Airbnb in Chattanooga, and I was like, oh, okay. I see what's going on here. Yeah.

It's strange, though. It's like there's not going to be an economy for this sort of innovative, innovation industry. It's not going to exist in like 50 years, or if the trends continue the way they are. I mean, less and less people have land ownership. Less and less people are able to afford cars. There's other stuff. So the whole Uber industry is, at some point, they're going to have diminished returns, right?

We're just spinning wheels until russia takes over terence yeah you're right russia's gonna swoop in and save us you're absolutely right no fear one can only hope yeah have no fear cue the lightning bull um kevin simonson a brooklynite who runs a digital marketing firm has hiked the pacific Digital marketing. Is nothing. I looked at Tinter as training wheels, said Mrs. Kepler. Kepler, the founder of Course Horse, an internet marketplace for classes. This has to be satire. I would not buy that.

No, this is the world we live in. Yeah. I cut my teeth on Tinter. I feel like this podcast has just become you all constantly trying to convince me of the simulation. Yeah. It's like you bring article after article. It's like, now what? Well, it's simulation or not.

What's weird about it. Sim or not what's weird about it or not what's weird about it is that like 60 years ago um you like the way that we would have sort of approached this is that like you have a middle class and you want them to be able to enjoy sort of recreation things like that you have state parks you have national parks you have stuff like that of course all that was built up on a lot of fucked up shit like racism and genocide but at the same time it showed you that there was a lot of fucked up shit like racism and genocide. But at the same time, it showed you that there was a sort of common project. You know what I mean? America, that was the... You paid tax money into parks.

You paid tax money into this stuff. And you enjoyed it. I had all the contours of a nuclear hot take. Yeah, well, I know. You know what I'm saying? I know what you mean. What I'm saying is that, like, recreation used to be available to working people.

It used to be set up for that. They used to have a national park system so that, like, people making $60,000 a year could afford to go and camp for a few nights with their families. Yeah, that's right. That was the whole point. That no longer exists. That's not. That's less and less true. Right.

It's less and less true right well it's less and less true like now now what that looks like is people uh working for digital marketing firms who want to go camp on private land and pay 200 a night sometimes 700 a night to do it yeah i think i think i think the brain amoebas that i've been so fearing for the last couple summers is just a construct of these people you don't want to go to this public lake right right infulary lives there What the fuck is digital marketing? That's a good point What the fuck are these people making money doing?

They are creating a need And filling it with nothing Yeah that means they run the Twitter account For like Urban Outfitters I'm digital marketing Trillbillies for example Yeah Okay Jesus I'm digital marketing Trillbillies, for example. Yeah. Okay. Right.

Jesus. I'm digital marketing myself. Oh, my God. I need to hire you for my cam come up. No, you don't. I'll put you in the hole quick. It's really funny. If we really do live in the dystopia,

this is the kind of literature that gets passed off as propaganda to assure you that this is what you actually want. Oh, there's going to be a Walden Pond written by somebody that went glamping. Fuck us. Exactly. Fuck it all. In the future. Oh my God.

You're absolutely right. I hate to bring us full circle here. What? But J.D. Vance wrote about his glamping in East Kentucky. Wait, did he? That's what, I mean, basically. Oh, yeah, that's what it basically was. You're right, you're right.

Yeah, he's like, he glamped here. Yeah, right. A few summers and weddings. Right. Funerals. And then he wrote a best-selling novel about it. And then parlayed that into millions. No, this sentence is what, this is what I mean, like,

when I say that this is the propaganda they feed you to convince you, like, oh, this is the um i'm overcome with despair the couple have now used tinter three times with their dog ollie who had never been off leash before and has now encountered deer up close he was like what is this sensation oh it's freedom Terrence where did you get this You said that like a mom who like Found out her son Was running around Oh my god They

They editorialized The thoughts of a dog Off the leash for the first time To say it's freedom Did this man get paid for this the thoughts of a dog of a dog off the leash for the first time to say it's freedom. Did this man get paid for this? I think so.

Bangs are very bad. He used the word freedom. Freedom. Oh, it's freedom. Freedom. Even the most serious campers have to start

somewhere. Growing up on Long Island, gear to go as Mr. Rosenberg never hiked or camped nor had anyone he knew. It wasn't until he joined the ROTC

that he slept under the stars for the first time. His motto is to never sell anything to a camper that is unnecessary, like a $3 enamel camping mug with a new logo on it that sells for $20, or a repurposed antique hatchet with freshly painted handle at double the price of a regular hatchet.

That's oddly specific. One of the biggest cottage industries going ever is the let's take rugged experience and make it accessible to somebody like Donald Trump Jr. Like safari hunting. Right, right, right. It's all that shit is,

is the most bourgeois conceit. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yep. These motherfuckers, they wouldn't survive fucking camping out in the fucking Sahara grasslands, fucking hunting a goddamn lion. Are you kidding me?

No. Well, that's, I mean, the guides that we went with, they were telling us about these luxury tours they do. And so there were three guides for 14 of us. For the luxury things, they send out like 10 guides for every three people. Oh, wow. And they set up big tents. That's like too many cooks spoiling the broth for me. It's like tables with long tablecloths,

like linens, wine glasses. They set all this up. They put out rugs so people don't have to be on the sand. And honestly, when she said, yeah, we do luxury tours, we all looked at her and we're like, this ain't luxury

because these people cook for us. I was like, that's the most luxury shit I could think of. Somebody cooking for me. I'm always the one up trying to get the fire going, get the coals hot, pull out the fucking cast iron

and fry this goddamn bacon to get everybody out of bed. Like, that is camping. No, the reason they got those 10 people is because when they walk, they don't do a rug. Like, they just line up

under their feet. Do you know what I mean? Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, hustling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a little human bridge. They take chefs out with them and they have so much extra gear

they have to, they have to oar that many extra, that many extra boats. How close are we to having rich people being carried around in those like elaborate, ornate boxes?

It's like Wally. Wally. He's just floating around drinking slushies. We've got to be pretty close to that as a society right i mean mariah carey hasn't walked in years i'm convinced she's carried everywhere don't you think and i love mariah oh i love mariah carey what about wait what about her i think she hasn't walked in years she's carried everywhere don't you think she's riding around on a platform yeah that's true though. Anybody who

wrote the song, anybody who wrote some of the bangers she's written deserves to be carried. There, that one. And at Christmas time she comes out guns a blazing. That's her season. I'm fine with being carried around.

I'm sorry, tell us what happens with Baxter and the boys. The cliche of the bearded urban lumberjack throwing hatchets in a bar instead of darts may come from a more ominous place than simple trendiness.

Zach Deans, the manager of Hatchet Outdoor Supply Company on Atlantic Avenue in Brooklyn, said he believes the New York City camping bug is spreading thanks to President Trump's stance

on national parks, his push for more mining and drilling, and concessions to polluting corporations. I think it's a backlash, Mr. Dean said. It's becoming much more hip to camp, to hike, especially around here in Brooklyn. Our current administration is boosting that for everybody. There are plenty of camping options around the city. There's Terra Glamping, an upscale glamping company that's not afraid to use the G word.

It was one of two. Oh, God. Not all heroes wear capes. Well, what's so funny is like, especially around here up in Brooklyn, Brooklyn was never the woods, though. They were all like Dutch farm settlements. Like all the boroughs were like

Yonkers Farm, Bronx Farm. They just belonged to these Dutchmen settlements Like all the boroughs were like Yonkers Farm Bronx Farm They just belonged to these Dutchmen Like where the hell do you Camp near Brooklyn I could be wrong I don't know I've only been to Brooklyn once Prospect Park is that in Brooklyn Yeah Prospect Park that's in Brooklyn

Slammed it They're going into Manhattan Camping in Central Park Can you camp in central park is that allowed um probably not but who knows you can sit i mean you're homeless if you've got enough money what i'm starting to realize is you can do whatever the fuck you want i said that really honestly it was one of two pilot glamping programs at Fort Tilden in the Rockaways and is one of several vendors submitting proposals

to return next summer. The company is also considered glamping programs at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden and at Coney Island. We can set our tents up anywhere, said Rebecca Martin, the company's founder. Most are up in Kingston at the Hutton Backyards on Hudson and start at $250 a night. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Well, you pretty much get the idea. Camp Rockaway offered a no-fill. It's just pretty dark. What made you click on this? It ended up being perfect, by the way. You set me up you like made me tell my whole like bougie river rafting trip i didn't i didn't mean to i you're subtweeting

tanya's glamping in person while she's here wow this is why wow that's why that's why you don't come on no more we want we we We make you check your privilege on this show Yeah when you walk through that door You check your privilege Well I ain't gay But Oh man oh man Tell me this was a suggested

No I saw it on the New York Times Twitter feed and I was like I gotta click on that shit I was like I gotta gotta click on that shit. I was like, I gotta shoot that straight into my veins. What are they doing up there? I don't know. They're building tiny houses.

They're glamping. Yeah, tiny house is another good example of that. This printed out so bizarre. It did. It's really, look at this. It's really, we get lots of local people camping, said Brian Feeney, the park's Staten Island unit manager. One woman said to me, it's my first time, so if it doesn't work out, I'm going home tonight.

He smiled and shrugged, staring out at New York Harbor, the skyline in the distance. You can't do that at Yosemite. That's the last line of this. What? You can't go home? yosemite you can't go home to yosemite i mean it's kind of dumb it's really hard to i mean because like yosemite isn't i don't even know where you draw the lines of of injustice here but but ostensibly you know yosemite it probably means something to a tribe or something was probably stolen from some tribe absolutely but i guess the idea of it that they're referencing in this article is that it is owned ostensibly by the public it's for the people right but in a reactionary way in a bad way this is i don't

know just i the main takeaway from this article is no private property we got to get rid of private property this is terrible this is absolutely awful and it's of course this is east coast shit this is very east coast because basically all of the east coast like coastline is private property yeah but you can't own the coastline on the west coast right is that it like it's all public i don't know i don't know anything about like land holding patterns in this country except for this immediate area which everything is owned by coal companies. Or land holding companies. Right. But. Oh, God. But.

This is out there. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. The rise of the stressed out urban camper. You want to click on something like that? If this doesn't work out, I'm going home tonight. You can't do that to Yosemite. That's so funny because that's something they usually say about the rural places.

Yeah. Can't get that in New York City. Can't get that in Boston. Kudos. You turned that on your head. Turned it on its head, pal. There is a future here. Good point.

Good job, Feeny. Baxter, I lost track of who the characters were. Yeah. God damn. That's bleak. Yeah. Well. Come out to Summit City Lounge tonight.

Yeah. Let's plug the show. Oh, are we dropping this right now? Yeah, I gotta put this out before we go. Before I go up to Summit. Glad we didn't take any bad turns to edit anything else. I did almost go down a... Yeah, I might have to edit out some parts

where I was making what sounded like it was going to be a nuclear take. No, no, no, no, no. That's not what i was saying no that's leave that in i was that's not um but uh yeah no come out to the show tonight uh starts at nine yeah if you live within striking distance of whitesburg kentucky a couple hours drive come out we'll uh we'll peek you out i was about to say i'll bring the we'll bring yeah right bring the gummies You could glamp Probably inside

Whitesburg You could do it In front of my house Actually Yeah you really could Yeah My grass is pretty high Come on down

In my fenced in yard We're all music Right Buy Tanya a drink It's still her birthday month Yeah Fuck yeah it is It's still

We just still have a few days Left of cancer season Are we gonna get on stage tonight You wanna do a little improv No not really You don't want to do a little improv? No, not really. You don't want to? I'd have to shower.

You ain't showering, are you? Nobody's going to know. They're not going to be able to look at you. Well, at Summit, they also might not listen. They'll be like, get up. Boo. Fucking propaganda. I've said repeatedly, Summit is not the venue for any improv. Let's do five minutes.

Let's do five minutes. Let's do five minutes. Five minutes of what? We'll think about it. If we have something, we'll do it. We'll just roast Tom. Do you all have a plan? If all else fails. Just pick one person and pick on them relentlessly.

Let's roast someone that ain't there. Psyche. Okay. Like the mayor. Oh, no. This is our half-assed. This show is going to be. The music won't be half-assed.

The music won't be half-assed. It'll be good. It'll be good. Come on out. The show starts around 9-ish. I'm excited to see the boys. Well, we have some new stuff. We haven't played a show in a long-ass time.

We definitely haven't played since we recorded an album. So, coming out. It's going to be good. Are we on punk time? We're on punk time, which means... No, I don't know. Maybe not. We'll probably get started at nine. You know me. Of course, if Kevin Howard's the sound man, you know.

That's true. Punctual time. Oh, wow. That's the kind of content you get here at the Trillium. Who's running Sam for you? Kevin. Alright. Yeah. It's official.

Before we go, isn't it just the most hack thing you can possibly say? But isn't it the most 2018 thing ever that there was inside the black Egyptian sarcophagus? Not just three bodies, just sort of like in a soup a stew I still want to know what that

smelled like it was doo doo it was sewage it was just a raw sewage leak so that was actually what was the red it was a raw sewage leak like it wasn't supposed to be in there it wasn't supposed to be in there shit was made out of like granite so it probably wasn't very well, like...

Insulated. Insulated, so a bunch of shit got in it. And that was the discovery of the week. It's all anti-climax from here on out, I guess is what I'm saying. We're all anti-climax. We've reached... 2016 was, like, peak climax. Now we're post-climax.

Here's, As the English say All the piss is gone We've used all the piss up I don't know I have so many questions about Trump and Russia Do you? You know it's funny I don't have one

No questions Cannot be less interested for some reason I haven't thought anything about it really Well I was like checked out for my birthday don't have one no question cannot be less interested for some reason i don't know i haven't thought anything about it really well i was like checked out for my birthday and when i came back it was all everyone was wild about what had just transpired on my birthday well it's i think it's because trump had this like meeting with putin where he was like everything's fine and then he got back home and did the shadiest like fake friendship ever was like when

I said I would I mean I wouldn't like he literally said when you're really nice to your friends to their face but when they're away you should talk a little bit it's not shocking but I just keep feeling like where are we going from here like what's our trajectory at this point

I mean I still maintain I think this's our trajectory you really want to know i mean i still maintain i think this is our trajectory i still maintain that what will wind up happening is some centrist lib will get elected in 2020 maybe like kamal harris or kristen gilbert or whatever who doesn't matter who but they're going to get elected in 2020 we're going to go back to thinking that all the the problems and rise of fascism all this other just decadence and other things all around us is is has been taken care of and then in 2024 we're going to have an actual fucking nazi who actually can articulate himself very well and rally the masses into some kind of you know um mass violent revanchist movement. And his name would be Nikolai Karpathia

as foretold in the Left Behind series. Oh my God. A Romanian Nazi. Jesus Christ. That was literally the Antichrist in that he was a Romanian. Nikolai Karpathia. He was Romanian.

Isn't that the most... Can you get more racist than that? No, that's like deeply ingrained anti-Eastern Europeans. Right, right. No, I don't know. Seriously, though, it makes me really scared because I don't think that... I don't think that... But you're not worried about the next two years of what could possibly...

What's happening next? Yeah, no, that'll be pretty bad But Someone had a good tweet It was like There's a good many reasons to hate Vladimir Putin but if they're telling me That he's a commie that likes

Gay sex and they're just really Warming me up to him Telling me the wrong things Alright well come on out to the show Tonight Really warming me up to him. Right, right, right. Telling me the wrong things. All right, well, come on out to the show tonight. The corn won't grow, so rock and roll. Hey! Goose Creek simply says,

I got a honk if you're a goose head.