Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 80: Trillbilly Sleuth Cruise

Episode Date: January 17, 2019

The gang takes a deep dive into the truly weird local and national news of the past few weeks, creates a new detective show for Tom, and (half-assedly) investigates the mystery of why so many people keep dying on cruise ships. Check out the Patreon: www.patreon.com/trillbillyworkersparty

He's got daylight images. Because you can see out the window, you can see Rite Aid. Of what? Wow. UFOs? Of women, like, getting naked, licking each other's nipples. That place. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

What? The Starlight Lounge, honey. First went wet. They were fucking, like, in the windows and stuff? Dude. Like, Red Light District? Dude. No, he was in there with them.

Because he bartended. He was the bartender. Yeah, he was. I do remember that. What? There was the guy, this guy Jack. I can't remember his last name. That's irrelevant.

That was when he first bought his like fancy camera. Yeah. This motherfucker had, we were talking, we were talking, he had a ponytail and a coke nail. Like had this pinky nail grown out. And the starlight man was... I saw the goddamn mayor getting a blowjob one time in there. I mean, it was wild.

Why? Why was it, like, the center of ill repute? It was, well, it was like a... I guess it was kind of a pill house, too. I guess it was kind of a... It was just kind of like a, just a wild ass honky tonk, but like more of a libertine scene than like a just, you know, playing country music and dancing, you know? So it was like a, the VFW in some ways.

Yeah. Interesting. Interesting. Yeah, but our boy Matt worked the day shift bartending. That is so weird. And he bought, he was like, you know, he bought like a new LSR, SLR, whatever. Where was it at? Where was it located?

At the River Grill, Kentucky River Grill. Over by the Mexican restaurant. Oh. Right there on the river. Yeah. I know exactly where that's at. There was goddamn sawdust in the floor. Like that was their thing.

It was, like, just really raw, like, exposed wood that hadn't been treated, still had, like, the company and, like, the dimensions. That was the aesthetic. One of the... And they were fucking inside there? I didn't say they were fucking. Oh. But, you know.

What the fuck? One of our cleanest friends, one of our, like, squeaky cleanest friends, I won't say her name. She was there underage the night, one of the nights it got shut down. I don't know if it was the last time it got shut down, because I think it got shut down a few times. Several times, yeah. But she was there underage one of the nights it got shut down and thought she was going to jail for sure. But she was just DDing for her other friends. Yeah.

And they had everyone that was in the bar lined up sitting cuffed. God damn. And they were everybody sitting in a line out on the parking lot. Was it like one of those things, like eyes wide shut things, like where

the aristocratic elites of the community hold like sex parties? Yes, kind of like an organic... I'm sure Pellegrini frequented the place. It wasn't... I'll tell you this. I'll tell you this. I know he didn't know that, but...

This is the truth. Me and Tyrone went there one night. Got plowed drunk. Plowed drunk. Were you teenagers at the time, both of you? I wasn't old enough to drink. It was like 2007. I wasn't 21 yet. I was almost

there. Because it's been 15 years since it was open, I think. Yeah. Well, a certain how can I put this? A certain hedonistic lawyer in town got Ty to go home with his wife.

For all the Chopo listeners, we have the OG hot couch guy here in Weisberg. He's everybody's personal injury lawyer. Yeah, he's certainly more than, I would say he's somewhere between that he's like if a hot couch guy somehow became i don't understand the hot couch thing actually but anyways you know the hot cat the hot couch guy it's like or no i'm sorry not the hot couch guy i'm sorry i'm sorry the fuck my wife guy oh my my hot my hot wife guy you know

the older guy that's always like i'm gonna go home and fuck my hot wife's pussy and all that shit well it's just like really inappropriate with like younger guys don't they have like uh their own little sort of social circle where they all get together and fuck each other's wives he just got married again yeah well yeah well here's the crazy shit he just remarried here's the crazy shit ty said he goes you want to go up there with me i said i think i'm i think i'm okay on that and he's well i called him the next day i said well did you did you do it he goes yeah he said i did it he said i was sitting there he said i was going to town he said next thing i know i looked up and there he was peeking through the crack in the door watching us i said well you truly knew

what you were signing up for he goes i can't believe he had to peek through the door it's his house his wife yeah the door's open seriously it's like that Trump tweet. It's his house. What did you say? It's his house. Of course he's there. We were laughing so goddamn hard last night. It's about all-time top five Trumpisms. A lot of people recently are just like what is...

I feel like there was maybe a year where I didn't feel like anyone around me really mentioned Trump because it was just like, what is there to say? I mean, is there anything else to say? I don't even know. Or like six months. But the last few weeks, people are like, man. He just hit a different gear.

We're in a deep, I mean, my coworker who would be my least to expect this morning in a meeting was like i spent hours in a deep hole of memes about trump and hamburgers last night and i just don't know if i had to come back from here here's the funny thing though i thought the hamburger thing was fucking awesome the government is shut down they ought to be balling on a budget what i was gonna say is i think the reason why trump has like hit his stride at the moment is because the government is shut down. Because this motherfucker has made a career out of running companies that don't really exist. Yeah.

You know what I mean? So it's like, that's why. He's accumulating massive debt and passing it off as massive wealth. Right. And acting like nobody knows the difference. He's a Houdini. Yeah, pretty much. knows the difference yeah pretty much so if he if he doesn't actually have anything to run um or anything to do you know that's why that's his moment to shine he's been here before he had

never been he has never been a sitting president but he's been he has led a shutdown company that's what me it he has led a company into destruction. Me and Terrence were talking about it last night. We said that. You remember when The Apprentice was on, and a lot of people don't remember this, he had a doll that had 17 of his phrases when you pulled the string.

Oh, shit, no. Me and Terrence agreed that any man that has a doll that has 17 phrases when you pull the string has himself become the doll. Yeah, I'd say that's pretty accurate. Oh, there you go. Oh, God. Yeah, no, this is A plus Trump time.

Like, this is him. He's doing the best bits of his career right now. It's all downhill from here. Monday itself was a weird day just all around i mean i wrote it down like just the news recap at the end of the day and and i hadn't really thought about it but i was sort of going through my phone well you getting like the new york times evening briefings or something yeah yeah okay now i'm in your head oh Oh, no. This was... I aggregated this myself. Okay, okay.

All right. I believe you. You're getting the Terrence Ray Vox aggregation. Well, let's set that up as a Patreon. You'll get the Eric Garland. Yeah, you'll get the perfectly T-Ray. Intelligence briefing. Oh, yeah.

Aggregated. Every morning, what you need to know. The skim. You know the skim? Everybody's on the scam it's like it just tells you like a sentence that summarizes mine will be like chupacabra cited southern new mexico skinwalkers question mark question mark it'll all be morse code you'll have to did the aliens write the constitution more insight insight. Five dollars a month to get you all the answers.

Are there ancient alien people for stuff like that? The three of us and some others once threatened to create a leftist newspaper and distribute it ourselves around the county. This might be the beginning of our tabloid. This is the beginning of our political tabloid. Can you believe we once had that kind of initiative? We were like, we're going to make a newspaper. All I've thought about all day.

Hal Rogers, we're going to bury that motherfucker. We literally were so... All I've thought about all day is getting in the bathtub. All I've wanted all day is to take a bath. And I once would look forward to meeting having a fucking meeting after my day of fucking meetings to talk about how we were gonna meet barry we have roger right we we got the motherfucker now

for over a year of our lives yeah we had meetings in addition to the meetings. We had the audacity to think we were going to get to him before heart disease. Imagine. Smart money was on us. It's a cautionary tale, though, for all leftists, which is you can get in your own head sometimes thinking that you're the shit. You're doing all the big things. You're like. Yeah, I like my lunch today. Here's the lesson. P're doing all the big things. You're like. Yeah, I like my lunch today. No.

Here's the lesson. Pace yourself. Pace yourself. Calm the fuck down. How about that? Take your bath. I agree. Yeah, you need a bath.

But the news on Monday was crazy. It was like. This is the news that happened on Monday. You know, just starting out. James Watson, you know who that is? The guy that discovered the Helix DNA or whatever? Was stripped of all... One half of Watson and Craig. Right, right.

Got you. He was stripped of all of his titles and awards because he is a white supremacist, basically. He's like in his 90s and he still insists he's still alive yes he's still alive he still insists that i would have swore that motherfucker lived in the 1800s oh man he's yeah no they discovered it in the early 60s really they didn't even discover they like stole it from some woman scientist i can't remember guaranteed yeah well he's also an unrepentant racist. Like, he...

Still to this day. To this day. Genuinely believes... And in 2018, or 19, it finally caught up to him. It finally caught up to him. Like, why even bother at this point? You know what I mean?

Like, if you didn't give a fuck 10 years ago, like... Another thing I thought was funny is that they found this guy that was a Nazi prison guard living in New York, and he just died. Oh, I remember that. And, like, left Twitter was like, yeah, now for the rest of them. I'm like, what are you talking about?

We did knock him. We, like, pulled him out of his house and cut his head off. I mean, he died of natural causes. He lived a long life. Again, the audacity of thinking we're going to get to any of them before heart disease. Yeah. It's really sad. No.

Well, it's all about you just got to have a sense of proportion you know yeah sense of where you are right right um okay carry on with the headlines so there's that uh all in 24 hours this happened there was that which i thought was pretty interesting that again this finally caught up with him the second thing uh steve king was stripped of all of his his committees or whatever in the House because of his, you know, saying, why is it wrong to be a white supremacist? That's literally what he said. He was like, and this isn't shocking. This is how they feel.

Yeah, it was pretty crazy that the Republican establishment turned on him, I thought. But I think it's because he's just saying the quiet part loud. He's just saying the part that they hate. Yeah, it's like, we told you to be cool, man.

We told you to be cool. He's giving the house speech in Frankfurt. Yeah, it's like, we told you that was locker room talk. Keep it at the golf course, buddy. One of our esteemed forebears sat Terrence down, explained to him that he gave the house speech in Frankfurt. What he told me, he said, sometimes you, yeah, yeah, yeah. He goes, after i got home speech after

i got fired at the capitol yeah no frankfurt's capital kentucky right after i got fired he was like see all politicians know you have a home speech and you have a frankfurt speech and i think what happened is you just gave the Frankfurt speech at home. I was like, well, I'm not going to argue there. Yeah. So, yeah, no, I guess they finally turned on him because he was, you know, saying, they're like, shut the fuck up, man. You're fucking up the bag.

How have they not been able to turn on Trump? I don't understand. He said the same thing. He's like, of course I'm a national it is interesting you know what i mean like this just doesn't make any sense yeah honestly i guess because maybe he's like more expendable than steve king's also just like one of the most unlikable people on the planet yeah like he doesn't actually do shit probably and he fucking sucks he's just not even in like trump at least has some entertainment value for all his grossness you know what i'm saying there was a balance he balanced well he also has a massive following i could imagine many people going to the map for steve fucking king that's

true that's true where is this guy even from iowa oh there's not even enough people to go to the map for it. Well, and I think what he said. Says Kentucky. Right. Yeah, right. I think what he said specifically was, what's so wrong with being pro-Western civilization now? What's so wrong with calling yourself a nationalist? Everyone was like, that's what Trump said?

That's what this guy Steve King said. Oh, that's what Steve King said. Yeah, yeah. So, you know, still in the realm of white supremacist land. That's what's been going on. The Republicans sort of... Another thing that was interesting, I thought about that, was Ashley Feinberg on Twitter pointed

out, like, Fox News was the only one that actually reported him as a racist. They said, you know, Steve King fired after racist remarks, and then after that it had the new york times and the washington post and they were like after controversial remarks yeah and then in fact those are the new york times or the m nbc people said to not refer they sent an internal memo to say not to refer to his remarks as racist why you know it kind of reminded me

that i i was this was the hot take i think I was going to tell you the other night. I think I just left you hanging. I kind of just got stoned and forgot about it. Buckle up. You too. You too. I think. Occasionally, Tom sends me a text that doesn't make sense.

And I'm like, what? And he's like, oh, that was for Terrence. And I just just one day i'm gonna get one that sends me to the hospital as soon as this starts happening in reverse and i start getting terrence's messages for tom yeah what skinwalkers aliens wrote the constitution man what do you think this is dick pic pic. Oh, God. I'm sending Tom pictures of my dick. That'd just be a lot to explain, wouldn't it? I would stop talking.

I would have to just stop talking to Tonya. There'd be no way I could explain it. There'd be no way I could be like i meant to send that to tom because then you'd be like why but instead what's the alternative like i just you know it's been it's been 10 years i thought maybe you wanted it now maybe you yeah right right jesus fucking Oh, fuck. But yeah, no, I think what the hot take was, this is the equivalent of sending a dick pic, is that partially the reason why they just called him a racist and the liberal media outlets couldn't

is because they don't have any pretense to objective reporting. But it also just kind of reminded me of, you know, we all have like that one conservative maybe cousin or friend or whatever that does the john mccain thing well that is the most important views but that grandstand about no the one the ones that are like they're the raced realists they're the right you know they're i mean they're like we we're more realistic about race because we actually see it as opposed to liberals who just claim to be colorblind it was one of those moments where i was like i you know my this is why the liberal worldview doesn't have any actual substance

anymore because the they've ceded all of the territory to actually talking about race in class to the conservatives and i I don't know. Does that make any sense? Yeah, no, it totally does. It's also kind of like Steve King became the one cop they crucified out of all the... What did they actually do to him? I missed you saying that. They kicked him off all committees he was in.

So they can't revoke his elected position, I guess? Correct. That would be the voters. But they've stripped him of all his elected position, I guess. Correct. That would be like the voters. But they've stripped him of all power. Pretty much, yeah. Did he have a quote or anything? Did he say anything about it? Yeah, he did actually.

Oh, was he? I can't remember. I do remember reading it. It was just kind of just like pablum. I'm like, I don't know why what I said was so controversial. He's still playing the dumb card. He's like, ooh. Well, in his mind, he's probably like, I thought all y'all agreed with this, too. Hey, I see how y'all talk.

Wouldn't it be cool if he rolls on everyone and he's like, they all said it and they told me not to. And I forgot. But now we're all going down with this ship. That's when he'll wake up with a bullet in his head. Or a horse head in his bed. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. No, or a horse head in his bed. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, no, I don't know.

It's pretty interesting. So there was that. There was those two sort of, you know, those two things from white supremacy world. Before we get too far away from Steve King real quick, didn't he also give an interview to this anti-Semitic, like, far-out wing European newspaper? Oh, yeah. I think he probably did. Just a couple weeks ago. This guy, there's no pretense. He's like a total Nazi. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's 100%.

Well, his whole thing is that Western civilization is losing its character and identity because we're miscegenating. You know what I mean? Western identity is white identity, and we're losing it as we're diluting theating. You know what I mean? Like Western identity is white identity and we're losing it as we're diluting the genes through the whatever.

Wow, really? Yeah, no, he is totally... It's kind of one of those things where like 10 years ago, 15 years ago, people were like, oh, you know, there's nothing really crazy about that.

But like now, the sort of circumstances have caught back up to him where he's like i don't know maybe then i don't agree with that fully i don't know but this isn't anything out of the ordinary what he's been saying i guess yeah he's been saying this for like 15 years i thought but what else we got from white supremacy land um you know that actress actress activist laura loomer the one that she's the one that chained herself to the twitter offices like a month ago or something right she broke into nancy pelosi's like compound i miss this how oh my god she yeah she like

broken i love this yeah she like broke into like lancy nancy into Nancy Pelosi's compound and was running around saying that Nancy Pelosi is trying to kill white babies and all this other stuff too. The funny thing was Nancy Pelosi's reaction was just, just get her out of here. Right. She didn't even call the police. I think she just asked her to leave or something. She pulled a brashier on us. us yeah kind of yeah yeah i think about that for a minute i'll um yeah she called

her bluff you know we're having lunch you're here already right right man what's your deal uh and then the final thing was that that entire day started with James Watson went to Steve King, Nancy or Laura. If you would have, if you would have, you know, we always had that idea when we were doing digital better than do that Wikipedia game show where it's like go from. Oh yeah. The Beach Boys to Ted Turner in 36 moves

or however many moves you know. If you would have asked me to do Watson of Watson and Crick to Laura Loomer. Oh my God. Well, 15 years ago, if you would have asked me to do Watson of Watson and Crick to Trump, that would have been pretty equally insane, but that's what we're about to do.

Okay. Oh, wow. So, before we hop out, what was her reason why she coming for Twitter? Because she got kicked off. Because she's a right winger? Yeah, and she got kicked off for being a white supremacist or some shit. Alright. Which is hard to do.

I know, I'm like... Seriously. Wow. Again, they haven't kicked Trump off yet on Twitter. Or Steve King. on Twitter or Steve King or Steve King or Watson of Watson and Craig all still on Twitter poor Laura

I sympathize so then there was that and so then obviously like the sort of bow on the whole day was the hamburger thing. Was the Trump hamburger thing. The Hamburglar appears. Yeah. Which is great.

Which, I mean, just hilarious. I just love it. I just. People, you know, it's got to be a pretty hilarious feeling to be like, yeah, tonight we're going to go have dinner at the White House, whatever. And you walk in and it's like, this is the same shit I could have got. Well, what's crazy to me is we were watching ESPN, one of their stupid talk shows, before the Cats game last night. Yeah. last night yeah and i couldn't hear what was being said but the thing scrolling on the bottom said athletes or students want excited for fast food at the white house yeah and they were like showing

clips of it but they were talking about how like excited they were and i was like that there's no way well hold on a second here hold on a second i hate to be i hate to just put us in the slingshot and sling this back to the early days when we just harped about the white working class and classism and all that stuff. But if I may just do that for a second. Put us in there. Put us back in our place.

If I might just put us back in that era for just a moment. Do it. Like, every time we're talking about like, oh, why didn't these kids get whatever? All the right-wing people just say, oh, too good for dollar menu, huh? Okay. And it's just beefing up his profile for 2020.

You're right. You're right. Isn't also the Clemson head coach like, also, I didn't even know you got to eat dinner at the White House when you got to the White House. I thought you just give the president a jersey and just go yeah who knew you had lunch in a fucking white house office yeah no and what did clemson do why were they they won the national championship football really last year no this year like just now two weeks ago yeah they play

that didn't end up in your algorithm wow that's what you that's what you're getting Jesus when you sign up with me yeah I missed it too

oh oh and then the final thing I forgot about this this was before the hamburger thing but in the midst of everything else

this is funny it's like we're just now getting the news from... We're off in the provinces. What news from the city, sir? The horse. The horse-drawn carriage brought the news in on Monday. What word from the metropolis?

Rand Paul said he was going to Canada to get hernia surgery. Did you see that? No. This was also on the same day. You know I had a Rand Paul said he was going to Canada to get hernia surgery. Did you see that? No. This was also on the same day. You know I had a Rand Paul stint. I love hearing news about, no, sorry, Ron Paul. That was his dad. Just kidding.

Rand Paul. No, that guy sucks. Well, they both suck. He's your literal senator. You're a libertarian for a minute. Yeah, for a hot minute in college, I was like, fuck yeah, Ron Paul. Hell yeah. He's going to legalize weed, my man.

This actually makes a lot of sense. I mean, I was a horrible person. That's not even close to the worst thing I did in college was support Ron Paul. Remember the Ron Paul? They had Ron Paul Revolution, but they had turned it backwards to it. Oh, yeah. I have a book somebody gave me at home. All right, now.

I still have this book I saw the other day because I've been tidying up and moved some books around, and I saw it, and I had a good laugh about myself. Yeah. I'm going to gift it to one of you. Please do. Oh, that would be great content. Yeah, let's bring it in and read from it.

Okay, all right. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, I'm going to have to confirm this. I think it's a signed copy. Amazing. Wow. You got Ron have to confirm this. I think it's a signed copy. Amazing. Wow. You got Ron Paul to sign it. Y'all know I don't half-ass nothing.

Now I do, but I didn't used to. That's incredible. I really wanted free weed. Well, what was funny about the reaction to the whole Ron Paul thing, like all your libertarian buddies back before we knew kind of what libertarianism was about. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. It was huge in 2008.

Yeah. Then you started poking holes in it. And I remember the thing that sort of like turned everybody against Ron Paul, except for the true believers, was like his old letters from the John Birch Society when he talked about the coming race war and all that stuff. I think that's what, I can't remember what it was, but I read something that pissed me off. And my boyfriend, the only reason I remember this is because my boyfriend at the time told this story all the time. And I had put a fucking bumper sticker of his

on like our back porch trash can or something. And I went out there and ripped it off the trash can. Just dramatic as fuck because i read something that pissed me off and i was like this motherfucker what the fuck babe no he didn't care he he he was he's he is this is ryan the fucking elk lottery dumb bitch that guy so he's apolitical probably oh he definitely voted for john mccain 100 and he used to he he fell for the straight talk express no he didn't care he did it to piss me off he voted for john mccain while we were together and literally anytime we would get in a fight he'd be like country first that's marriage shit that's what people do in marriage he was the

devil we had a very toxic relationship anyway yeah he told the story on time he's like country first yeah that wasn't slogan holy that was john mccain slogan country first i only know it because my boyfriend said it to me all the time to piss me off i guess it makes you know there's really nothing and you wonder why i just can't stand men anymore i hit my limit done uh yeah john mccain Done. John McCain. Country first. I couldn't take any more. Anyways. Well, that's pretty. So Rand Paul is having, he's going to Canada to have surgery. Which is hilarious to me because I don't know how many times I've gotten in arguments with people who have insisted to me that, and they've got this from Fox News, I guess, that people are coming, streaming over the border from Canada to get to our healthcare system because it's so much better.

Tom has had to mail in blood work somewhere to get his fucking triglycerides. Which were good, but my total cholesterol HDL ratio needs some work. Yeah, is that when you thought you had... We're having to draw our own blood out here and mail it to Twitter doctors. Tom thought he had wrinkles in his fingernails.

He was like, could you take a look at this? I thought that was like a year ago. That's like the least of the things I've heard. I thought I had rabies in the summer of 2013. We were recording one time. It was when we were still recording at WMT and he was like, look at my fingernails. I remember just being like,

this is the beginning of the end. But you can tell from my fingernails. That's saying about me, god damn it. Next topic. Rand Paul. What are people saying about this piece of information about Rand Paul fleeing the country to get

hernia surgery? You know, I don't know what the right-wingers are saying about it. You know, obviously all the left people are like looks like Canada's health care system. I mean, I agree with these people. I'm not sure why I'm mocking them. A memoir.

Just for dramatic effect. The title of his biopic. I agree with these people. I don't know why I'm mocking them. The story of Parents Ray. That's good. But no, they, you know, they're like, oh, obviously Healthcare Canada is pretty fucking good after all. But what has he said about it?

So Rand Paul released, he did a fucking news release about this. Yeah, I don't know what he said about it. Interesting also that you couldn't find one doctor in the United States with Cadillac insurance that you'd trust to repair a hernia. I could probably do that. He's got the Cadillac of insurances. That's what I'm saying. He's a doctor.

Yeah, that's true. He has the best insurance money combined he doesn't trust any u.s sounds like by his actions he's given the frankfurt speech at home well i bet they're trying to tell him to cool out and say no you get your ass down there to baylor or wherever the hell you're at right henderson county hospital get that fucking hernia fixed they come and put a bag over his head and take it in and like strap him to the bed and take it out before he can go don't they just like push it back in there and put a little mesh and that's all it is he just cut it up my brother was born like an outpatient surgery you know it's like and he's gonna drive to fucking or just uh fly to canada

dramatic dramatic airplanes exist occasionally yeah i don't know that that does suck though i mean um i have no sympathy for rand paul but uh it does suck that like if you're gonna get surgery everybody and everybody finds out about it that it's about it's a hernia right and it's just suddenly the talk of the town And also What's funny is Doesn't I don't know if People are just saying this But doesn't that hernia Have something to do

With his neighbor Beating his ass Oh I hope so I think it does I think he got a hernia In that fight Which also just Really just tells you

How You should If you're gonna get a hernia From being in a fight You probably Should not be Scrapping to begin with You should not You should not bill for it.

You think he ran his mouth until that? Also, if you have that goddamn wet perm he has, you shouldn't be in a fight either. He absolutely just ran his mouth until some other aristocratic dipshit has had enough. Because you know he lives in a nice neighborhood.

His neighbor is some rich dick. The guy got like 30 days in like lockup, county lockup. He did? I didn't even realize that. Oh wow, they brought the hammer down. Oh yeah, if me or you had done that. I would do 30 days standing on my head

if I could whip Rand Paul's ass. That's true. That is really worth it. That's a pittance. That's a bargain. Again, no, it's just. I'd do 90 for Hal Rogers' old ass. It's crazy though How we just internalized

That very basic fact of our existence It's like if either of us would have tackled Rand Paul We would have got the book thrown You'd be in jail for 15-20 fucking years Yeah they would have called it terroristic It is a felony to hit I always wonder you all And I've wondered this

Since those I'm not taking up for them. I'm sure they were lunatics, but those dudes came from Pike County on New Year's Eve for a party and never left. They came looking for a party and they will rot under the Ledger County Courthouse. They're still there now. God damn, that was crazy. It was so crazy. I was thinking about that the other day. I know. Every time it comes up, I'm like, God damn, that was wild.

Anyway. Put a book, put a little pin in there because that's going to bring us back to something. Well, every time, because of that, you know, they, the Mountain Eagle, searched the internet for all the worst pictures they could find of those dudes. You remember? Yeah.

And the entire paper was huge pictures of them, pixelated pictures from the internet, printed in the paper, like six pages. Yeah, definitely. Of them, like, holding knives. I always wonder, when my day comes, that I've, like, I don't know, fucking, you know, I get a DUI or whatever it is. Something weird. I'm sure it would be much weirder than a DUI. Hopefully not. But whatever weird shit happens that lands me in jail, hopefully I don't stab anybody 38 times.

God damn. As those dudes did. I think I took it up for them. Could you ever imagine yourself stabbing someone 38 times i don't have the stamina yeah i would tire you're right i tire out after about five or six no way but i can't remember the actual number but it was a lot and i just wonder what pictures they're gonna put up of you yeah the mountain eagle will dig up of me and bring it as big as possible you know like you with the ron paul shirt oh yeah hopefully hopefully hopefully that's the best but like you know like i went on tour with globsters one time and i've got all kinds of

pictures of me with like a knife to his throat and all kinds of weird shit for like his wrestling promo video she had it in her the whole time ke Keg stands. She was a violent reprobate. I don't have the time. I'm about to pay someone because I don't have the time myself nor the money. I need a rag. I'm wiping my nose on my sweatshirt

over here like a fucking savage. But I swear to God. I want to pay someone to go through all my Facebook pictures and delete them all. Oh, surely those businesses have to exist. I hope so. Somebody DM me.

Tell me how to get rid of my past life. You can delete my digital footprint. Yeah. You can delete. Also, still standing, I'm still not able to access my cloud. And it says it's full. You can keep all the nudes if you just send them to me too also if you just send me all of the pictures you're gonna have so many thirsty motherfuckers

seriously i'll do it i'll fucking do it if you're able to hack into my cloud and send it to me be careful what you put out there that's the that one time that we were like we'll sit nudes we I think we definitely got several. I definitely got a few DMs about that. Not me. Goddamn. Me and Tonya. I'm the Joey Fatone of this goddamn outfit.

Some thirsty DM me on Twitter about 3 a.m. And I didn't see it until the next day because I sleep a lot. I go to bed early. I sleep in. FYI. And he was like, just curious if you were serious about those nudes have no sign hey thank you god bless i'll take my yeah god bless so sweet that's the kind of the most respectful yeah it was i wasn't even offended i was like that's true i did say it i

didn't respond oh wow wait you should have just vid mod me a grand and i would have done it the what i wanted to say about the guy that stabbed the other guy 38 times or whatever is that that that motherfucker was incredibly obscenely wealthy and that perfectly explains what i meant last week when i said rich people well it's telling it's telling it's telling that you have to do something so heinous as stab a guy like that on new year's and all this stuff to actually finally get your comeuppance yeah because he he had been bailed out so much oh so he had a rap shoot a mile long that his daddy had got him out because his daddy was a judge well i feel like if you if you are missing the sort of...

I feel like, and obviously there is a purple unicorn anywhere you go. There's somebody who bucks the... There's a Baptist coal miner anywhere you go. I feel like most serial killers are... The people who love to just...

I'm not saying this dude is a serial killer, but he probably could have been. If you could stab somebody 38 times over a verbal also stab somebody 38 times with a fucking like medieval sword thing yeah oh yeah he whipped out a sword it wasn't like it wasn't like he pulled a butterfly knife or something it was like this motherfucker made chain link armor for like medieval fairs and shit yeah he pulled out like pulled out a dagger. I made the number 38 up, but I love how y'all keep repeating it. It's just... It'll be in the next

Mountain Eagle. 38 times. Speaking of the Mountain Eagle, there's a lot of stuff in the Mountain Eagle that's pretty funny, right? We should do a speaker piece or something. I didn't read the speaker pieces, but the cover of the Mountain Eagle this week is so dark and depressing.

Is this it? Yeah. And then the inside piece is what got me chewed up at lunch. I can't say anything anymore, and I blame you two. My association with YouTube is I can't even have a fucking opinion over chili. You know, I can't even fucking just toss something little out there over chili, and suddenly I'm a fucking socialist alarmist. You want to roll for the pro ballers or the amateurs?

It's so funny because when you were texting me and Tom about that, I was texting Tom at the same time like, man, I kind of feel bad for Tonya because... I'm like, I didn't say nothing. We've really just pulled you into our whole sort of road down the commies. I was so taken aback. I had not said the word socialist or anything. I hadn't said anything. I hadn't said anything.

I hadn't used any hot words. They're getting out in front of us because they know the tide's turning. I said the most calm, cool, collected thing about the hotel. Which was? That. I had the motherfuckers build it, yeah. No. What happened, and I hate to, you know,

getting fired was the worst thing to happen to me because it verified that I'm the protagonist of history. So what happened was me getting... Jesus Christ. This goddamn snowflake. We will not survive this. We will not survive this. He said all this in motion.

It proved me right that you know it proved my essay right getting fired for it and so now everybody is on the defensive about it and they're incredibly fucking touchy about it as well you're not the first person i've heard who've had some sort of argument at their non-profit job in the last couple of weeks i didn't even want even an argument he he he got on the defense and i was like i'm just eating my lunch my man i wasn't i didn't come here to fucking go to you this one okay we do you see this cut this right here um yeah we have let me paint you a birmingham here we have a fucking the daniel boone hotel in downtown whitesburg tom's ready he's yawning he's ready for this story buckle up no i'm sorry

sleeping like hell these days but we've spent three years our local city government has had had three years and a million dollars yeah just a one million dollars yeah the other protagon protagonist of history over here. Yeah, Tom can fill you in on the details here. But it has sit, I'm sure they've squandered the money or whatever. I don't know what's happened with the money, but they haven't used it up to now. They've probably bought a boat called the SS Promo Zones.

Called SS for Climax. Sitting down there in goddamn Somerset. Promo Zones is a deep cut. I keep forgetting. Oh, that's a down there in goddamn Somerset. Promise Zones is a deep cut. I keep forgetting. I should have. Oh, that's a real deep cut. I forgot about that shit. Anyways, the sort of

historical, political context of this is that it's like creative placemaking, right? It's like trying to make your town a tourist destination or art destination. Well, that's what

got me fucked up. That's the road. That's the route I took. Yeah. And that's what got me hosed. That's the route I took. Yeah. And that's what got me hosed. The headline just says, Lead paint slows hotel bidding. But you would have thought it was when the roof caved in.

Yeah, I'm like, okay, first the roof caves in. Then, no, first it's asbestos. Then the roof caves in. Which fixed the asbestos problem fortunately shades man shades aired it out and now you don't think they would have already known three years ago when they did an environmental impact statement there has been so they have prodded and plucked this let me let me now suddenly we know there's lead paint in it like we didn't fucking know that's what i'm saying you expect me to believe that we didn't know there was lead paint there three years ago

it's the gospel truth it's the gospel truth when we first started that project when i was still the royal we when i was when i was uh before i came up from liberalism we walked through that motherfucker and i saw both like just to do the initial like can this thing be salvaged walk through with like these people with like epa and stuff i swear to god i saw both alive and dead raccoon it's like he's trying to rescue the other it's things like a goddamn terrarium it really is but so i said i'm, you know they knew there was lead paint. Like it's asbestos, it's lead paint.

Like what is the fucking deal here? They just don't have that million dollars or whatever it is. And it's like the million dollars is just to stabilize the building. Just so it doesn't crumble on innocent bypassers in the street. This is amazing it's not happening. Amazing. It is amazing. There's literally steel beams busting out of windows out onto Main Street right now.

And here's where I took a turn for the worst. I said, this shit right here is what, because you know, after it's stabilized, it's going to be who knows how many other millions to turn it into a functioning hotel. I said, this shit is what makes me so mad when it's like, when there's any argument about the free market turning something you know like the free market

is gonna like they there's a need for a hotel we we're gonna create a hotel that's gonna make money there's no way this hotel will ever make money because of how much money it will cost to to re to rehab the fucker. And that's what all the Silicon Valley, all the shit it is like. Yeah. This is how we're going to re-do all these towns. No, I mean, well, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Whatever. The rise of the rest. The idea being that if you're going to sort of revitalize a post-industrial town that's dying you basically make it a poe timpkin village it just looks very nice on the outside it looks like one of those freedom villages they put on the dmz between north korea south korea yeah it's like we're dealing with decades of neglect and divestment you know what i mean i was like and this is what i said i said this is why it pisses me off so bad when like entrepreneurs entrepreneurship is the is the silver bullet the holy grail fucked up part about the entrepreneurship piece that nobody talks about is too often it sets up people for failure because if you're going to be an entrepreneur if you do a little digging in their

background they're usually not a self-made person they usually have like tons of capital yeah like yeah pull from and to fall back on if it goes belly up and start something else unless you're like us and start a podcast i guess we're entrepreneurs self-made baby anyway that innocent comment so innocent was like well it's not like i can push a button for state socialism That innocent comment. So innocent. Was like, well, it's not like I can push a button for state socialism. Wow, that's something to say. And I was like, what?

We're supposed to be at the Capitol locking ourselves to the building for big government? I was like, well, now that you mention it, I mean, it's not a bad idea. But anyway, it's just like, I was like. We're here for the big government protest. I was just like, I don't know what you want me to say. He doesn't disagree with me. You know, this is an anti-capitalist comrade. I know that.

I think he might have just been having a bad day, but it hurt my feelings to be called a leftist alarmist for pointing out the obvious. If somebody calls you a leftist alarmist, they're probably not a comrade. Yeah, I agree with that. I was just like, well, okay.

Well, the thing is, I said, well, yeah, of course it's harm reduction. Well, you're out on the front lines. All right. Me and Tom, I don't have to deal with it anymore. And Tom's job allows him to just be sort of. I can sidestep if I have to. Yeah.

And so but you're the only one still out there on the front lines. So any chance to take shots at us, they want to go through you. Apparently, yeah. You're a shooter. I'm out here taking. You're a capo. I'm taking fucking hits. As soon as it happened, I literally, I just sit there quiet thinking, you done bitched

Trillbilly. This is some Trillbilly blowback is what you're getting right here. Here's what you need to do. We need to take them up to the hotel. Walk up to them. She's got some nice dresses up there. That room. Oh, it's okay.

Go on. I got some nice dresses for you. Right there around the corner And then Tansy just Pop out No I come out And I just pull

One of the last remaining pillars Holding the fucking roof Oh god Kill us all We're all going down Yeah Anyway it hurt my feelings Damn well

I don't know what my feelings about He'll probably listen to this And then we'll have to have a mediation or something. I don't know. I'll just tell him about it. This fucking podcast has ruined our goddamn lives. I know. I was like, I can't even be anymore. You really can't do a podcast in a small town.

I'm a leftist alarmist. I'm getting yelled at about state socialism at lunch. Yeah. No, it's really difficult what a pity party this is who we're thinking about i know he believes in that stuff just let it fly man i almost said you were one of the first people i ever heard talk about anti-capitalism i was like 18 well it's uh once you're into that bureaucratic world this is what i learned with people who started working with hal rogers it's like i thought

you hated al rogers but then it's like once you get accepted into that world of like power and influence and all this it's seductive to like want to walk or work across the aisle because it's in the mutual interest of everybody yeah seductive and cowardly i think it just hurts my feelings and i think this is at the root of what losing your job is enough to feel pity over. It was like, hurt your feelings. It really did. Because these were your fucking friends and they should have known this wasn't an attack.

They should have known. I feel like my friends should know I'm not coming for them or their work. It was all bad faith. As left Twitter would say, it was a bad faith argument. Everybody's assuming the worst of me now well all of a sudden well it's because what i found out i used to be able to work things out aloud in front of a safe audience i do my best thinking

out loud okay well i think what it is is that it's the i gave the frankfurt speech at home it's what i what's what i found out is that like, oh, these people actually, two things. They either actually believe it or they've like disconnected some sort of like circuit board in their brain that allows them to sort of square the circle. And so that's why the two reactions to it

were basically, fuck you, you get what you deserve or your job was supposed to play the game. Literally, someone told me that exactly. Your job was supposed, this isn't a fucking game. But that's the thing.

When there's grants and shit tied up into it, it can feel kind of like a game, like a very fun sort of video game. It's like Stardew Valley, but for East Kentucky economic development. In the middle of this room is a blender. And that blender's a key. Stick your hand in that blender while

it's on and then you'll have your freedom yes exactly did i bring the cover in did i not bring the cover historian anyway the the cover of the paper was so fucking dark and it had multiple of my co-workers today googling how much meth cost. Oh. Because somebody was caught with two pounds of meth. So much meth. And we estimate that that was maybe like 10 grand worth of meth or 15 grand. Yeah, I think. You're searching on Google. I know. As soon as

someone did, I was like, don't do that. Y'all know the rapper O3 Greedo? Oh, yeah, man. I love O3 Greedo. O3 Greedo's going to the pokey now because he was transporting like about that much meth. In Texas, just transporting. Jesus. So he's going away for 20 years.

That sucks because he's so good, man. These sissies. I love them. I hope he gets out, sir. But then, of course, our local teacher rapist is going with an update on him. But this headline pissed me off so bad because it does a case involving a girl. He was raping a 14-year-old for months.

Yeah, yeah. A year, maybe. It's pretty... And what does it say? What does the headline read? We're going to have to put a trigger warning on this or cut this out or something, but it's so fucked.

You can't even read it. It's sick. It's truly sick. The first article about it this this local story has literally sent me into a bad spiral last over the fall but yeah it's pretty it's pretty bad it's so fucking dark what um hold on one second i was gonna well just because of this article someone who was at the table who like knows his ex-wife or something like as soon as this story dropped she changed her name on facebook to her maiden name it's like you didn't know before this

happened come on bitch you knew they've shifted the motherfucker around seven or eight different places for years in a middle school they put him in a middle school elementary school yeah anyway so today i think i heard that he literally the day they the day the cops picked him up at the school arrested him at the school, when he found out they were on their way, he somehow got tipped off the cops were coming. Whoa, that means, that can only mean one thing, really. He texted the girl in class and was like, come out and meet me in the hall. While the cops are on their way to the school, she comes out to talk to him and he's like,

this is about to happen, I love you, wait for me. for me what the fuck oh no no it's a paper trail he sends her a text wait for me he expects he literally told this 14 year old girl to wait till he got out of prison my fucker don't look good now that is deeply diseased that is deeply diseased that means truly fuck that someone on the cops for police force had to have like let a child rapist know that they were on their way to pick his ass up hey we're coming for you we're gonna run you through the mcdonald's on the way down the hill it's fine it's like well get your ducks in a row he was he was the first time he got implicated in a street like this they sent him to frankfurt to be a consultant for an education consultant that education is one of the premier i know because

i worked in it for two years so i obviously know everything about it premier field where men fell upward oh yeah they they because there are so few male teachers, they need them. Yeah. I don't know why. I'd say you could probably be a half-ass male nurse, too. Probably. They fail upward. Yeah. When they fuck up, they give them a higher position to get them out of the classroom. Why can't you fire these motherfuckers?

The last week's Mountain Eagle had some way more quirky and funny headlines. Yeah, not as heavy. Thank God. Not dark one um this one was pretty dark it had a fucking uh turned over ambulance on the cover that was the cover picture god damn literally it's the darkest cover page that is true two pounds of meth an overturned ambulance or child rapist and someone dies. That is the cover. Every cover story. Didn't anyone look at this on the way out and thought, we could have

threw a softball on here probably. Could have threw cats on a two game winning streak. Yeah, so anything. I think that local newspapers are probably starting to, if I had to guess, are probably starting to turn to the business model that like WYMT and like local news stations turn to. You know what I WYMT and like local news stations turn to.

You know what I mean of just like the worst shit ever. Although then again sometimes they have City of Jenkins Kentucky is going to auction off a Tommy gun. I saw that last week too.

To raise revenue. But only if it'll raise so much. I saw this online. Only if it brings more than $75,000. So if you were looking for a Tommy gun, okay, and you thought you might get one for 40 grand. Hey, try the dark web. I have so many questions.

I saw this headline and literally forgot to look into it because I was like, what the hell? Last week, where'd they get it? I don't know, but I hope fucking Todd DePriest comes out in like a Dick Tracy coat and just shoots it off to open up the auction.

Is there a market? Is there a market for Tommy guns? Just kidding. I'll start the bid at $75,000. Then it's just crickets. Where do they do this? Is this an online auction they're going to put up?

I don't know. No, they're going to... It's just got a bunch of history about the Tommy gun. Who built it. Let me just say, let me just say, the surest sign that your local economy and your city government is doing bad

is when they're auctioning off Tommy guns to raise revenue. Bro, I just want to pause for a minute and just think about the composite image that we just painted over the county we live in one of the city governments is selling a tommy gun just to stay afloat another one of the city governments just before it got voted out of office passed a two dollar an hour pay hike for all city and county employees but not because it was the right thing just to spot the incoming government i love it i love it and they've already railed it back they've already rolled it back joe okay so you got that then the county government it was in the newspaper uh the

mountain eagle three or four weeks ago is debuting its new print work jail work labor program to where they're so goddamn broke tanya the only way they can make money is by taking state prisoners and getting paid by the state to take them and then putting them to work for free like doing road work around the county and shit that's dark that's how dark it is and and then on top of that, you've got a county-wide school system that just protected a child rapist for more than a decade. 15 years at least. But here's a good thing.

That ain't even what takes the cake, folks. I cannot with this. How can we? Is this not a simulation? Oh, it is. I think it's a heavily glitched simulation. I can't be real. I just can't. I think it's a heavily glitched simulation. Are you real? This can't be real.

It's good. The code slipped. That's what's happened. Yeah. Okay. This is a code slip. Yeah. This is, yeah.

Somebody's made a gross error. Whoever's behind the curtain just fucked us up. Oh, my God. Okay, tell them. That's so funny. Okay, here's the thing. just fucked us up. Oh my god. Okay, tell them. That's so funny. Okay, here's the thing. Here's the thing. So.

Where are the other ones that think this is funny? He hasn't even said. Well, let me just set this up a little bit. Yeah, tell them to set this up a little bit. You're right. The audience is probably like, what the fuck? So. So funny.

So. A common refrain with Southerners, particularly white Southerners, and even like quote-unquote progressive Southerners and whatever, when you talk about the exceptionalism of Southern racism, we give a little testing. We're just like, well, man, it's interesting tension and friction and history and all this stuff and and i'll admit i'll admit there was a time in my life where i kind of thought that bullshit a little bit not to not to the point where i was like a virulent racist or that i even believed in like states rights and stuff like that apologist not even an apologist more so than i

was like well it, it's complicated. You know what I mean? The recording of him saying, the diction of fiction. We could loop that. And put a beat over it. Well, turns out we're pre-racist. And here's why.

Turns out we're pre-racist. However, actually, this is like one of those umbrella man things because it's not a clear this is not so the the story is noose used in only legal hanging in county's history i like the legal qualifier there were a lot more that went on. Only one legal hanging. But the only one that passed legal muster. The noose used in only legal hanging in county's history is now missing. Well, the reason I set that up is, why the fuck would you keep something like that? Literally, what type of memorabilia are we hoarding?

They can't find last month's budget or expense reports you know what i mean and they've got the noose was floyd frazier black i don't know well he's the one who was hung and you've heard i'm sure right yeah it's the guy they caught up on uh creek i thought i thought it was he like he was like special needs or something like that though right no i don't know that he i don't know if he was black or whatever i don't know i'm not sure about that but i know that he was like maybe letcher county has had a long history of trying to pay for over its own racism and so they're like look well we hung somebody one time legally he was white legally not extra judicially i think the only one i heard about was the the guy that they brought in for like talking to white women probably or something.

And people were so outraged they came and broke him out of jail to hang him. Fuck. Here in Letcher County? Yeah. Right? Isn't that the story? I don't know. I don't know.

That was one Sam Adams told. Because last MLK Day, this is when all this shit comes out. They're all feeling themselves. Oh, God. We have to do a podcast on MLK Day here. is when all this shit comes out. They're all feeling themselves. Oh, God. We have to do a podcast on MLK Day here. Ty's doing it. I know. I saw him today talking to Nail, and I went over and I said,

Ty, you smart to not say no to Nail Fields, but good luck. I was telling somebody last night because we were watching the UK game. If you can make it to a MLK Day gathering in Letcher County, you absolutely need to do it because it is hilarious. It is a bunch of old white guys.

It is like – They are so hard to deal with. It is so difficult. It is the content equivalent of shooting and then a bubbling crude coming up. Instead of oil, it's just content oh my god it is so you're right i will never forget the year that it was at apple shop and jim ward came down there i was yes i organized that one that was also the shortest speech i've ever heard what what jim ward said i can tell you verbatim what he said first off first off first off okay first off

he read a quote from ezra pound yeah to open it up i thought he had two quotes i thought another one from like einstein or some shit well any one of them was ezra pound the other one was somebody else was ezra pound an anti-semite um i don't know probably probably okay probably anyway that's gonna piss some people off for sure why just just you know our fumbling around here exactly i know there's somebody out there like ezra pound was not a goddamn anti-semite i've always heard that Remember that time I said that the... Oh, we remember. Anyways, let's go on. So, anyway, Jim Ward goes, Jim Ward goes, he read the quote and he goes,

the Ezra Pound quote, and I forget what it was, he goes, and I think that exemplifies what Martin Luther King was about, and if we could all live like he did, we'd be better for it thank you and then it was just like a smattering it was like it was like yeah yeah well generally what it is is it's that uh it's all it's some old white guy making some sort of speech about how racism doesn't really exist or whatever and or and and or it's community leaders who are

like patting themselves on the back for all the good shit they've done for the community and how nice they are to black people which which one of the people literally is the main person bringing the prison here yeah so that's how twisted this whole thing is it's like she's bringing a prison here that will house like 90 black people and is you know grandstanding in front of the community about how not racist she is oh yeah yeah they're so rough to get through but bringing william ison last year was a nice touch he's that that i bet he had a field day with the proceedings yeah i told i mean i tried to prep him for it best i could and i was like you because when he in our communication about it we started calling him the good reverend isom because i

told him it'd be in a pulpit because it's at the church so he got he had a kick out of it but yeah it was it was weird even though he was great it was it was it's still so weird and there's always there's one guy one like rotary clubber who's got like biracial grandkids and they always are like would you say a word would you would you would you say a word at the breakfast you know i'm talking about hey you we we know you know what's going you know what we're talking about you're a quarter black get up here yeah it's like shut the fuck up. Shut this man up. And then, God bless it,

they bring out the Reverend Willie Lamb every year. And I love Willie Lamb. I do. I love to talk to him. I mean, the guy is 94 years old

and looks fucking 62. But, It's true. There's always a point where, and I don't know if it's his age or whatever it just kind of goes off the rails a little bit he gets up there and talks about i know other people are bound to be like what are you he's he's always like we've all been friends all these times there wasn't really we haven't dealt with much racism here like not like they have other places

and i'm always like oh god man don't don't give them no more content, Willie. Yeah. So that's the state of the county. Y'all come visit. Hang out with us. So who, do they have any leads on who took the legal noose? Oh, no. No, they have no idea. Who would want it? the county clerk was like

why so much checked it was there you think jim took it as like a fucking oh shit it just got rip-roaring it didn't take yes he just took a bunch of random shit and then when election comes back up and he tries to run again and beat Terry, he's going to say, remember this, Terry? This is what I'm putting you in, motherfucker. And everybody's just like, what the fuck? Oh, my God. Fuck. Yeah, no, you're right.

It went missing at the exact same time. New fiscal court. Stops $2 an hour pay hike. We should hold our feet to the fire on that. I think they've moved the fiscal court meetings on the $2 an hour pay hike. We should hold our feet to the fire on that. I think they've moved the fiscal court meetings on the $2. I think they've moved the fiscal

court meetings to throw us all off because remember we were going to go but it wasn't that day. It was before that. It wasn't the third Monday when they usually have them. They've changed the time. Classic tactic. Remember when we were going all the time and they changed them to 10am? And then they'd move them underground.

We all had jobs. And they moved them to the basement. Like the back. Y'all know how you think we don't work. Well you're right. Here y'all at your 10am meeting. Fucking called you. That was pretty hilarious.

They tried to pass a bathroom bill and like 80 people showed up we were like at 10 a.m yeah this just isn't gonna work and they're like annex basement it was a room we couldn't even fit in there we all couldn't even fit in it it was it was there i've only been a few times in my life when i've seen a politician like actually just you could tell you really got in their ass uh one of them was one of the protests yeah one one of them is when we protested hal rogers but that was another time because they were just sitting there the entire time like oh what have we done oh yeah they knew they'd fucked up i literally told when i got up there i was like you i was like i've been

coming to these fiscal court meetings for five years. You've never held one in this room. What is this? Is this a closet? Are we in the fucking mop room? Yeah. That's crazy. They're crazy. Crazy. Thought they were going to run from us.

What's funny about the whole bathroom thing is there's only one public bathroom in the county. It's not a single staller anyway. Right. It's just that. It doesn't matter. Nonsense. Gender neutral bathroom. I think it would have impacted the libraries. Or Walmart. That's it. It's just that it doesn't matter. Nonsense. Gender neutral bathroom. I think it would have impacted

the libraries. In Walmart, that's it. That's true. I forgot about Is Walmart a public? Why is Walmart a public? Yeah, that's a corporation. Oh. Was it just public? It was county buildings. It was just county. Oh, wow. Buildings. Wow. Shows you how much I knew about the town. County buildings.

Should have been like the libraries. I don't know. How many county buildings we got? Oh, my God. Is this this week's or last week's? Pick your piece. I'm not going to read that one. That one's straight up Nazi shit.

Oh. Give me, give me. They're dark. Oh. Yeah, it's all pretty bad, but do you want to pick something out, Tom? Is that this week's? That's last week's.

You said there were some stunners in it? There's some good ones from this week. I haven't read either. We can cut out all this babble. I don't see, being unemployed, I only have two conversations a week now. Oh, this one? Yes, this one and the Patreon. Those are the only conversations I have with another person. We were supposed to record last night night and we moved it to tonight and while i'm leaving town i see terrence like

i'm too sick to do it as i'm leaving town i passed terrence walking downtown i was like that son of a bitch i was i thought about that i was like fuck i hope tanya didn't see me oh yeah i saw you bitch if you are out of your house for two minutes, you know I'm going to see you. Fuck! I literally was leaving town just like. Well, I did feel like shit. This little fucker. I wouldn't have had this kind of, you know, witty repartee. I was like, look at that little bitch. And she was like, what? I was like, little bitch.

Walking around town. I'm like. Cancel. I got my hands in my pocket. Oh, God. I should have just reared off the sidewalk. Fuck you.

Jesus Christ. Oh, my God. To all the ladies out there, pastor's wife once told that if you women won't treat your men right, somebody will treat them right for you.

That's what the pastor's wife had to say? That's what I'm experiencing myself today. Oh my God. To the adults and teenagers who continue to quote unquote trash the city parking lot near the Whitesburg Florist and the sidewalks,

are you not aware of the MCHC live camera at the top of the Florist and the sidewalks. Are you not aware of the MCHC live camera at the top of the hill? Have a great day. Actually, I just gave him. Fuck you, Mike Cottle.

Yeah, that's probably Mike Cottle. Fucking cop piece of shit. Fuck you. He is terrible. It's a dirty, rotten shame.

I wish this podcast pissed off those people rather than people who have control over my job. They actually know we don't have any power. He's actually well aware that we have no influence or power. Yeah, you're right.

We have no power over him. You're right. Or anyone. Or anyone, really. Somehow. Anyway, sorry, Tom. Go ahead. Ronald Reagan was my Adolf Hitler.

I hate him. What the fuck? I thought that was going one way, and I was like... Wow. Well, I saw it. Okay. He's regretting it. He never did a good day's work in his whole life,

yet people still brag on him. Come on, people. That's funny because it starts off with a very inflammatory thing, and then it just kind of softens as it goes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on people. Okay, this is pretty. I just love when they end with God bless. Wasn't it 900 billion dollars Obama gave away?

And nobody saw any of that besides his Democratic buddies. 900 billion? Billion with a B. What the fuck? Obama just like walking into corporate boardrooms with suitcases full of cash. Here you go.

This goes to all your stockholders. Good Lord. And have a good day. This is a good indictment of identity politics a little bit. I ran into a female Letcher County Sheriff's deputy today, and she told me she no longer had a job because she was laid off. That's a little bit. I ran into a female Letcher County Sheriff's deputy today and she told me she no longer had a job because she was laid off. That's a terrible shame. This girl was the only

one who cared about anybody or helped anybody who was a victim of these druggie thieves. Druggie thieves. I know who that is. I thought there were two. There are two women. Perhaps I don't know who that is. One of them detained me once.

Imagine that. Oh, wow. Is there any truth to that? Yeah, that's kind of hot. Yeah. I wish. I wish it were hot. Little Wayne's Mrs. Officer.

I should have told her. I'd have been like, I'm in the cuffs. Let's do this. Is there any truth to the rumor that Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer get a kickback for every illegal immigrant that gets into this country? Oh, my God. And get double the kickback for every illegal immigrant that gets into this country. Oh my god. And get double the kickback if the illegal immigrant kills somebody. Thank you.

Holy shit. What? What? Oh my god. Bro, that's not even the craziest one from there. I don't even want to really read this. It's so fucking... There's another one in there that is straight up Nazi shit. This is straight up Nazi shit, but I'll tell you.

What is the Mountain Eagles line of what they will and won't print? Hell, I've sent in stuff that they won't print, and it's like... This one is good, though. I like that they printed this one. I guess the Mountain Eagles just... They're just calling strikes and fouls. Just strikes and fouls. Those who are spreading the Republican propaganda

through Speak Your Peace need to be taken out and beaten to a pulp with a baseball bat. And the eagle didn't speak? The eagle did not speak. I just let that stand alone. Man. Wow.

Anyways. God damn. Here's some wholesome content. I'd like to wish my sister in Germantown, Ohio a happy birthday. It was on January 3rd. Happy birthday, sis. That's some wholesome content. I'd like to wish my sister in Germantown, Ohio, a happy birthday. It was on January 3rd. Happy birthday, sis. That's good.

Hey, all you faith-healing preachers out there. Ooh. I want you all to pray to your God, see if he'll heal those little children at St. Jude's Children's Hospital. Fuck. If they don't get well, then I'll know your God has gone to the outhouse. That's what the Bible says later. Later?

I wish people would start signing off with later instead of thank you God. This isn't even a pin. We should start writing to speak your peace. Why don't we do that? I mean, every time I send one and they don't print it, I'm so pissed off. I don't do it for months. God damn it. I want Tom to read this one.

We should send a version of that about the kids locked up in migrant cells in fucking... I ain't even reading that fucking shit. Oh, is that what the one's about? I meant the one about Jew. We should just replace that with innocent children in concentration camps at the border. If God don't let them out, then I know he's on vacation. Actually, let me read this. I'm going to cut this one out.

This is really weird. But it is the one that's very Nazi, but just contains some kind of weird things. We turn on our TV and see a woman in Guatemala digging in a garbage dump with four or five kids and living in a shack most people wouldn't even use for a tool shed. And it's like, I thought, you read that and you're like, okay, that's like, I think they're sympathizing with somebody's conditions or something. Oh, that's for your own. But then here's where it goes, Nazi Germany. Why don't they sterilize these people so they can't have children? I'm telling you, man, it's fucked up.

If they can't feed them, don't breed them. Wow. It's a sad thing they're begging us for food, and sure enough we'll give them a plate of food right off our table. What's going on in these countries that makes them unable to feed their own children? Why don't they just sterilize the people so they can't reproduce? It's stupid. So am I.

It's stupid and so am I. I concur there, whoever wrote that. So quickly they jump to eugenics. Oh, I know. I used to work with this guy who was like, I used to work with this guy who was like, I think everybody, when they're born, should be sterilized. And only after you reach a certain age and pass a certain amount of tests

should you then be unsterilized or whatever. I was like, I don't know. Is that means testing for reproduction? He genuinely believed this. This man was like in his 50s. And thought he'd come up with the most brilliant thing. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Give Tom these two.

These are two good ones I just cut out for him. How did you cut those out? Do you have a fucking X-Acto knife? Also why don't you just hand me the paper Because I can't denote to you which ones I want you to read You don't have a pen? No this doesn't work And I don't want to go get up and get one

To a certain person who drives around With a crucifix hanging from the window of their vehicle Do you think that crucifix Is going to save your life? It's not because everybody knows what kind of mistakes you've made in life. The Lord knows it too. One of these days, your luck's going to come to an end,

just like the song says, when the walls come tumbling down. Oh, my God. That's why I cut it out. It's a good one. Oh, Lord. Oh, God, this is dandy. Just when I thought I'd heard everything,

I hear about a man who draws $500 a month, can't even afford to eat, and they're now making him pay $40 for copay. Can't even come eat, and they want them to make copays. They ought to take that co-pay and send it over to ISIS and let them have it for a while.

People can't pay that. Send that co-pay to ISIS. Send it to ISIS. That's dead. Oh, man. There's got to be some good ones in here. I can't believe there's nothing about the government shutdown.

This one is last week's. No, wait. Today's the 6th. Oh, this is the 6th. The government's been shut down for six months. I liked how the other night, this is another thing that kind of got buried. The other night, Trump was like, we'll shut it down for months, maybe even years. He said that?

He said that. He said, we'll shut it down for months, maybe even years, folks. What the fuck What do you think is the end here What's the I don't know I think it's pretty God damn Crazy

What do we do I'm only gonna take a bath That's what I'm gonna do Some of these are They've gotta be so... Good morning, Jesus. I pray that my day will be filled with good thoughts and not to think negatively about anyone.

Thank you. I had to read that in my sweet voice. I couldn't let Tom read that one. Thank you. Tom is so offended. Oh, all right. There's some other good ones. We'll just save it for the Patreon episode.

Isn't this Patreon? No, this is our regular episode for the week. Regular scheduled programming. See, I feel like I can speak more freely if we're on Patreon. Oh, yeah. If I know ahead of time it's going to be a Patreon. Oh, yeah. Me and Tom have done that.

We've said things on the Patreon. Well, why don't you give me a fucking heads up every now and then, okay? Because we like to watch you walk out there and take the tomatoes for us while we sit behind backstage that will be oh you're doing great sis keep going just kidding tanya god almighty um well what we got on our community calendar to put a bow on here yeah community calendar i did pretty good on the radio this week. I didn't hear. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sad I missed it. I really wanted to see how you came through this Monday. Did you hear it? No, I didn't hear it. I fucking missed it. I about kicked myself. I was talking about cruises. I went down a rabbit hole the other night about cruises.

Do you know how many people die on cruises every year? It's fucking crazy. Really? I've been kind of wanting to go on a cruise. Yeah, well think about it. You're marooned at sea and dehydrated with...

Is that how they die? It's not going overboard? No, it's medical care that couldn't make it. This is what I've learned. Several takeaways from my rabbit hole dive into cruises the other night.

And I was talking about this on the radio on Monday morning. I have no fucking idea why. Sometimes just need content. He doesn't have a talk show. Let's be clear. It is a musical. It's an hour music show.

Well, here's what he was doing. He queued up some Pablo Cruz and that got him thinking. Cruzes. It's because the night before. Anyways, I'm not going to get into that. But look, before I go to bed every night usually i smoke a little bit of weed i you know i get nice and settled into bed and then i open up my fucking phone and start reading like unsolved mysteries and get incredibly creeped the

fuck out just totally disturbed and unsettled before i go to bed for like an hour sometimes i'll even cry and stuff like this is so fucked this is so fucked up. And then I'll just... Just normal guy. Yeah, just normal stuff. And then I'll close my phone and be like, all right, time for bed. Just go to sleep. So I started going down this rabbit hole to hope out cruise deaths.

Several takeaways. Cruise deaths have gone way up in the last two years for whatever reason. Well, I think that happened just because the one big cruise that went south. Remember that? No. Did one like sink or something?

No, I think that was like 10 years ago in Italy. No, dog. This was like a year and a half, two years ago maybe. Oh. I don't know. I can't remember

if a bunch of people got sick. Remember? Like the toilets were overflowing. It was just like... Yeah. I don't remember this at all. No. Yeah, you researched...

Tom encountered a ghost ship when he was in Cuba. A ghost ship came across the sea. Man. But it's been all downhill from there. You mean that skewed the data? Is that what you're saying that's what i'm saying okay i could buy that but one of the things one of the so a lot there's a lot of murders that happen on cruises what yeah and most of them the vast majority of

them are middle-aged men merit or murdering their wives like throwing them imagine that shit yeah throwing them overboard. And I guess it's because they think that there's like no, like, and this is kind of a weird gray area because there's no police force on a cruise. They like, some have like security forces and stuff, but you can't carry a gun on a cruise because you can't dock in a non-military port

with arms on board. So I don't know how they actually prosecute that shit. I guess maybe they just wait until they get there. And so they think that there's not a count, or they'll go back to their normal life and just be like, she stayed on the ship. I don't know. She's still cruising.

I don't know. Hit her up. I don't know what happened to her. It's pretty weird. So whenever you see those like Date line and they're like Yes Cruise from hell

That's really what the kind of shit that happens No it's the shit on the ID channel God that's all Michelle watches all day She watches the fucking ID channel Damn Is that like Unsolved Mysteries and stuff? Yes All day long

Like ghost stories and all that shit No it's like It's like legal matters Oh yeah It's not Ghost stories would be cool This is like Chill Remember chill All day long. Like ghost stories and all that shit. No, it's like legal matters. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Ghost stories would be cool. This is like. Remember Chill?

Is it like forensic files? Yes. I love forensic files. Yeah, she's so into it. One of the cruise deaths, though. So I found this archive of cruise deaths that have happened in the last five years. And I was just going through and I was reading every single one of them. And one of them, though, was so morbidly hilarious hilarious i can't believe i'm saying that um i can't it was

it was unintentionally very funny it was this like kid who was like in his early 20s or something like that and he hung himself in his like quarters in his room or whatever and the way that this thing was written up, though, it was so tone deaf. It was like his friends couldn't understand why he hung himself. Because literally the night before on Facebook, he made a post about how much his life rocks

and how much he loves his life. It quoted it exactly. It was like, I love my life. My life is great. Life rocks. And I was thinking, maybe that was an ironic thing. No, no, I know what that, maybe that was like an ironic. No, no,

I know what that was. He didn't hang himself. One of his friends staged a suicide and made a post. It was like, I'm going to throw him off the scene a little bit. Fuck. You're right. You're way better at this than I am.

Why aren't you into the sleuth? Case closed. Next one. Case closed. one Case closed Give Tom a show On the AD channel Just Tom solving crimes I know how we can

Turn the cruise industry around Listen Here's Bring a decent Kentucky Relocate Here's what we gotta do We gotta just apply The Uber thinking to it

Okay We have a crisis. It's a healthcare crisis, right? And then people get murdered on cruises. How about this? How about this? Medical cruises. You need a kidney?

Hop on, baby. We're going to go to Grenada and get you one. Okay, all right. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. Everybody's like, you know, instead of going to one of these sterile-ass hospitals and

like, you know, it's bad for your nerves and like you're wondering if you're going to get some opportunistic infection. No, babe. We're just going to hop on the love boat. Yeah. You just either cruise to Cuba or Canada. Yeah, or go to Cuba. Or cruise to Canada.

Yeah. And get your fucking hernia handled. That's it. Wow. Wow. Well, I think that probably about brings it full circle huh well i have a little full circle that i want to bring back around please do i i've been trying i've been hanging on to it since we over the break we haven't talked about

all the stuff that's happened to us over the break that's that should be six months of content right there you're right i got my first dick pic in years like unsolicited yeah well here's what happened here's what happened i hadn't seen a dick pic hell i ain't seen a day i ain't fucked with a man in year at two years at this point and this is what happened see me saddling up here it was mom it okay it was my sis have twin sisters And they turned 30 Thanksgiving weekend And so We got like a

Fucking place in Knoxville Went out to A bunch of Drag shows and shit In Knoxville Just bar hopped And so we're in the place We were staying in

Pre-game And it's like Maybe like 9 o'clock And it's not even that late But I You know I was on edibles And whiskey

And who knows what else Cause it's their 30th I'm trying to like Set the mood Get some fucking going It's not even that late, but I was on edibles and whiskey and who knows what else. Because it's their 30th, I'm trying to set the mood, get some fucking going. That's two times the birthday. Yeah, we were celebrating 60 combined years here of Turner life. So they've got a couple, they're little friends that I don't know. And so you know how I do, I have to prove that I'm the coolest. You remember my Charleston stories from the.

I was there with you. Terrence was there documenting the whole thing. And I get a text message from a number that I don't recognize. It's like, I don't even remember. I looked up where the area code was. I did not know the area code or anything. And it just said like, I deleted it. Because it got so weird. But I screenshotted it.

And I have it somewhere. I should have pulled it up to go to the tape. But it was just like, hey, baby. Like, it was really explicit. It was like, hey, baby. I don't know if it was the first or the second message. But it was like, send me nudes or something. Yeah. And I,

so I was so fucked up when I saw it. I almost thought somebody was fucking with me. And so I told my sisters, I was like, Oh my God, I just got this crazy message. And they were like, Whoa, they were,

I was like, they're like, fuck with them, fuck with them. And so I was like, okay, let me try to come up with something good. And so I ended up getting myself into it with this son of a bitch.

And then got it. Cause it didn't even occur to me that I would get a dick pic. Like I'm just so, So I ended up getting myself into it with this son of a bitch. And then got it. Because it didn't even occur to me that I would get a dick pic. Like, I'm just so out of the game. I'm so out of the fucking sex thing game. You're a house cat now. Literally. That I was like, well, I'll show you yours.

You show me yours. I'll show you mine. You show me yours. And then I immediately got a dick pic. And I was like, oh! Within like 30 seconds. Oh, yeah. It was immediate. He already had it queued up. Yeah within like 30 seconds yeah yeah he had it in the chamber you didn't even so much as get it typed out you're bubbling that message and there it comes

and i immediately i like straight up dropped my phone i was like oh god that's a fucking dick my sisters died laughing and they were like they were like i was like, oh, God, it's a fucking dick. And my sisters died laughing. And they were like, I was like, I can't believe I got a dick pic. And they were like, you literally asked for it. You asked for the dick. Well, here's the thing. Here's the thing about dicks is dicks are not really even fun to look at, really. Especially a disembodied.

Even when I was asked, even the few times I asked for a dick pic, I was like, it don't need to be disembodied even when i was asked even the few times i asked for a dick pic i was like it don't need to be disembodied just send me a full shot disembodied dicks are just weird it's so weird it's so what do you mean by disembodied dick just no face no nothing else no not even legs just dick and balls it's like this ain't gonna do it for me i'm gonna need you to be like something give me a strike a fucking pose get your cat in the picture yeah you gotta flex your muscles a little bit yeah something but if i didn't know where to go from there i was like i i just didn't believe this i'm freaked out so anyway that's when you like our friend chava does when when they get one is you rank it

but give them a low ranking. I think she gave it one of 3.5. Oh yeah, it was bad. I should have given it a very low ranking. It was bad? Yeah, it was pretty bad. It was just like a small, white penis. I don't know why you'd send that to somebody. Oh damn, that sounds fucking weird.

I'll go ahead and tell you. As the less than proud owner of a small white penis you don't go you don't go throwing that thing out there just willy-nilly yeah but here okay here's the scary this i mean we only exchanged probably six messages total but i said oh my god where'd you get my number and he said wait wait hold on a second do you know who the fuck this was no no i didn't know who it was holy shit that's hilarious i know that's what i didn't know and i just said i was trying to be playful and be like show me yours i'll show you mine and i immediately got it that's what i asked

for i had no idea what i was doing i'm an idiot so then i was just like oh my god how'd you get my number you know like i panicked and he literally told me it was a chat room he got my number in a fucking chat room what yeah he called it something and i it maverick or something he told me he just said so weird name is it like when someone writes somebody's phone number on a for a good time yeah for a good time as soon as he said it i was like that's the image i have someone wrote my name on a chat room for easy nudes yeah thanks for me fuck But here's where I'm a little. Get the sleuth on it. Here's where I'm a little embarrassed.

Get the sleuth over here. Okay, I'm going to go to the tape and send you the name of the actual thing. See if you can find out. Tom's show on the ID channel is him tracking down unsolicited dick pics. Oh, yeah. That's a good show. I've got a sub-CD hotel outside Fort Lauderdale and I'll dangle him over a balcony. You son of a bitch.

Show me your dick. I know this is it. Show me that little dick. He keeps pulling out a picture from his back pocket. Yeah, that's the one. That's the guy. He pulls out a photo

from his back pocket. He's sitting on a train and the guy next to him sees him looking at a picture of a dick. I'll be the Chris uh the chris hansen of unsolicited dick pic senders oh my god uh what were you doing on the chat room last night jeff but anyway uh this is what's embarrassing is to end it quickly i got out of it using homophobia

and i feel a little embarrassed i just told him i was a dude oh that's not really homophobia i mean i knew he was gonna be like oh fuck that I want pussy and then he didn't he left me alone but I knew any other thing that could backfire really is hey well it's cool well I was kind of ready we probably went this far yeah no turning back now he literally was just I can't remember I'm gonna pull I'm gonna find the screenshots and send it to y'all but yeah, he was immediately just like, oh, fuck no. I want pussy. And I was like, I literally wrote boring.

And that was it. That was the last thing. Well, this is full circle because we started off talking about if I was trying to send Tom a dick pic. Yeah, that's what I was. As soon as you said that, I was like, I forgot to tell them I got a fucking dick pic over Thanksgiving. No, that's pretty impressive. Yeah, I had not gotten a dick. I can't call it an unsolicited dick pic, even though I did not want it.

It's gray area. It's a little gray. Especially knowing he had it in the chamber ready to fucking fire off. Yeah. These aren't fresh dick pics, you know what I mean? Yeah. It's probably a five year old dick pic He's been standing for years

See I'm worried I can't do that I'm too worried that if I did it Can't you look at the properties of a photo And be like Wow this was taken on June 13th 2017 I have no idea I can't work

I'm looking pretty big in that one I'm going to stick at it. I'm going to say that for a rainy day. She's like, right here it says. All right. Anyways, all right, before we go this week, please check out the Patreon. We've got quite a few new Patreon subscribers.

Oh, that's good news. Well, more than one, so that's quite a few. Patreon.com Slash Trillbilly Workers Party No apostrophe Please go check that out Five dollars a month

Will get you All access More content Than you bargained for Maybe this is the season We get a corporate sponsor Well I think that

Gillette Maybe Jesus Christ. I was hoping we could dodge that one. It has been such a weird fucking week. You can cut it out. No, no, no. If Monday was weird for all the other reasons,

today was pretty weird. I guess that happened yesterday. Tuesday, yeah. What was it Tuesday? I didn't see it until today. Jesus Christ. Can you imagine how bad the commercials would be? Well, people have to talk about something

for at least a day before I care. And when it didn't go away, and I never go ad chasing. I don't give a fuck about ads. And then it would not go away. And so I was like, all right, I'm going to have to watch this son of a bitch. Well, I didn't watch it, but I swear there's better content than that at our Patreon. So please go and check that out. Patreon.com slash Trillbilly Workers Party, motherfucker. Except there's no motherfucker in there. It'scom slash Trillbilly Workers Party, motherfucker.

Except there's no motherfucker in there. It's just a Trillbilly Workers Party. Anyways, thanks for listening. And is there anything else? We'll see you out there on the cruise lines. Yeah, all right. See you later.