Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 84: Super Bowl of the Love Game

Episode Date: February 15, 2019

T&T break down Valentine's Day and the forgotten history of eastern Kentucky racism. Don't forget to check out the great episodes over our Patreon: www.patreon.com/trillbillyworkersparty

um you can't cancel 69 on valentine's week what the fuck yeah speaking of which come on how was your valentine's day i had a good valentine's day it actually started on sunday and uh because i was up in louisville for uh i mean this is a fucked holiday but uh but i had a pretty good week although i started my period and that sucked. But on Sunday, me and Chell had a double date with her friend from high school and his boyfriend. And they made us homemade ravioli. Like made the shells and all that shit. Yeah, he made, oh yeah, I watched him. Seafood ravioli to beat it all.

I've never eaten handmade pasta of any kind. Yeah, me neither. I hadn't either. He's Italian and his family ran an Italian restaurant. He grew up in an Italian restaurant. I mean, it was incredible. He had this like crank attached to the

kitchen counter and was like cranking pasta through the son of a bitch. And it comes out like, it looks like you're shredding papers. Well, I can tell you it made for a terrific boomerang. Really Oh, my God. And it comes out like, it looks like you're shredding papers. Well, I can tell you it made for a terrific boomerang. Really? For my Instagram. No shit.

But anyway, the whole experience was terrific. He made a tart that I've literally had a dream about this week. It was, this is my favorite anyway. Chocolate caramel sea salt. Oh. Oh, man. Really perfect. So anyway, that was Sunday. I didn't have to monday we had to drive home i didn't have to work tuesday or wednesday and so wednesday night galentine's day you know

we michelle can't wait for shit so we exchanged gifts and i won't tell you everything we exchanged it wasn't that much but i got her some really bougie shampoo and conditioner for her glamorous hair let me ask you a question what's she use on that well she likes a coke she likes a coconut based she likes a coconut based whatever i'm not that into coconut but what i got what i actually bought her you're gonna love this we stayed at the 21 c hotel a couple times and she fucking loves those little bottles the mainland yeah and you know i'm always trying to steal a bunch and like distract the maid and throw them in my purse oh yeah you gotta go catch the housekeeping let's say well i couldn't and i'm in a crunch here

couldn't find one we got a late checkout i think that's where i fucked up it was like 12 30 we're checking out and so i had to spring for a big bottle out the fucking whatever. She's around the corner with all our stuff and I'm trying to hurry up and buy this real quick. I got her the peppermint shampoo and the cilantro conditioner. So fucking good.

I'm going to need reviews on both of those. It's $50 for both of them for two pretty small bottles. I fucking sprung. Anyway, I'm trying to be discreet. And of course, the girl behind the counter drops them and makes a bunch of commotion. I was like, as soon as I try to do this. Nothing to see here.

I don't know what's going on behind this counter. But anyway, here's one of the. So then she couldn't wait. So we exchanged gifts the other night. We both got each other a pink candle because it's like love candles yeah to do love magic i thought that was a real extra some real extra witch shit we both got pink candles but i've been um bitching about well i have a big um like thick robe that i wear around the house all the time and i had been imagine that queenie here wearing a thick plushush velvet robe around the house. I wear it when there's a reason I can't be naked.

I put the robe on. But preferably, I'm wearing as little as possible. Someone's knocking on the door, whatever's happening. But I've been saying I get too hot in it because I keep it good and toasty in the house anyway. And I've been wanting a silk one. Not real silk, but like a silky robe. Something with a nice drape. Finally got one. Yeah? Yeah, but like a silky robe. Something with a nice drape. Finally got one.

Yeah? Yeah, that's what she got me. Well, I was ideally, she won't listen to this, so I don't mind to say, I really wanted a long one. You know, it's more majestic. I can like float around the house in it. This one don't even cover my ass. This was...

Intentional. Yeah, this was strategic. So anyway, it was like a really cute flowery silk robe that I love, that I have been wearing around. But, I mean, it doesn't help when I have to answer the door. Because it's short. It fits me, but it's too short. Anyway, whatever.

It was super cute. But here's the fun country queer moment of my Valentine's Day. Yes, drumroll please. So, last minute, the day before Valentine's Day. Yes, drumroll please. So, last minute, the day before Valentine's, of course, I'm sending one hour prints to Walmart to get printed, to go pick up and do something with.

I ended up just sticking them in a book, giving her the book and pictures of us. But I printed out some pictures of her and put them on my fridge, too. So cute. Anyway, I get to the Walmart one hour photo center and i'm uh i get up there and the girl's like oh what's your name and i tell her and she brings the stuff out and i had bought like i've got a few other things so i'm paying for it all at the photo counter so i get

the fuck out of dodge and don't deal with walmart as best i can and so when she lays the thing down i pick it up first thing before i whip out my um card because i ain't paying for them if they look like shit because i've got to for them if they look like shit. Because I've got to Walmart before and they look like shit. I'm like, I'm not fucking paying for this. So I start going through them. And I'm like, oh, these turned out so good. She was like, they did turn out good.

Y'all are real cute. I know, Michelle. The woman at the counter. Small town rule fucking Valentine's Day. Country Queer Mama of the Year is the woman at the fucking Walmart photo center. Was like, I know Michelle y'all look so cute happy Valentine's Day la la la was like so nice she said I used to party with her sisters that's what she told me the dude version of me nice play ball with his daddy yeah

good good ball player but I swear it wasn't but on Wednesday night I made steak and taters and last night she made me fried chicken Because that's my favorite She don't even like her own fried chicken Because she's insane But she made me fried chicken and biscuits So I put honey on them So fucking good

Nice So all in all, success Yeah, it was good Let me ask you the other side of that What's your worst Valentine's Day experience? Any doozies? Because I know mine right off the top. No, I don't have one right off the top.

I know last year I was really pissed. This is how indignant I am. I was really upset because the girl I'd been fucking for a month didn't send me flowers. A month. I do remember that. You remember?

I was so pissed. We had literally only been hooking up for a month. But she was in Lexington and it was a long distance and I was like how easy is it to get a little points today to send me some fucking flowers to work, bitch? How fucking hard is that? You know, it's interesting. It should be just

default that whoever you're fucking at the time should send you flowers. Yeah. Or something a little tasteful, you know you know something uh edible arrangement perhaps maybe a uh you know you know even if it's not if you're afraid say you want to send somebody flowers and you're afraid oh well if i send something like roses or something it might convey something too strong you know my move is i like to uh i like to send a little tasteful seasonal arrangement i love lilies yeah something seasonal something that's in season which ain't much in season come february and valentine's day is just stupid it's really dumb to spend money on roses in february because if they i mean like today go buy them discounted that's what to do yeah but

anyway last year i was so pissed about it. But I'm trying to think of a really bad. I mean, I'm sure it was just like. I've got two while you're jogging. If you've got them, just. Well, jog your memory. Okay. I've got two.

I want you to just give you a little taste into how smooth I've been over the years. So when I was in middle school, I had it bad for this girl named Alicia Holcomb. Alicia, if you're listening. Yeah. My great-grandma was Holcomb. I think she was from Cranbrook, actually. Or somewhere in the making area. So anyway.

So I was, like, real nervous. I was getting girl flowers for the first time. You know, it wasn't, like you know that wasn't like some kind of like that's just the screen right little snafu anyway first time getting somebody a girl flowers that was just like you know not like some kind of like when you're like in a little kid and like sending like your little crush you know like Valentine's Day or whatever. So I'm like, God, I'm so nervous.

And I had stolen $30 out of my mom's purse to do it. Jesus Christ. This is where it all began. So I was like, God, I got to do this. And so I'm sitting there and, like. I like to envision young Tom, which we've all seen a picture of, really, like, slapping his cheeks real hard in the mirror. Bowl cut.

Getting himself ready. Bowl cut. Getting them jowls good and red. So I asked Miss Little, the English teacher, I'm like, can you help me order some flowers? I don't know how to. I don't know what to do. And she first question was, hey, you got money to send flowers?

Because everybody knew I was a fucking bro. You know what I mean? And so I goes, yeah, you know, I've just been saving up a little bit. I got this crush,

you know, blah, blah, blah, whatever. And so finally, like, my teacher called and ordered me a half dozen roses,

which ended up being good because it saved me a little bit to, you know, to, if my mom's robed money, I could go spend elsewhere. And, so, you know, if my mom's rogued money i could go spend elsewhere and um so you know all this stuff and like you know like when your friends gas you up and you and they're like

yeah she's she's into you but she likes you all this stuff and really what they're doing is just like trying to position you to make a fool out of yourself i took her these flowers and i swear to god you would have thought that I spit in her mother's face in front of everybody in the school because they do they do fuck shit like this in the schools

like where they you line up and like the flowers come and you go hand them to the people and all this stuff and it makes everybody feel like shit

you know that you know didn't get any flowers or whatever she took those flowers and she goes looked at them and she goes and threw them at my feet.

The drama. I love that. I was just dejected, yeah. She was as cold as ice. But that one doesn't take the cake. That's just the preview. Where it all began. The worst Valentine's Day I ever had.

Did you cry? Did she make you cry? I was had. Did you cry? Did she make you cry? I was upset. And then another thing, too, and this is topical because I thought of it yesterday because Kanye had the real Kenny G playing in their living room. Oh, I fucking saw that. I caught that. I didn't catch the fucking puff, Daddy.

I caught Kenny G in the Kardashian West home. in the Kardashian West home. So, my buddy Chris at the time told me that, you know, she's really into Kenny G. So, you know, like... This, like, first grade, second grader? Or you're fourth grade?

No, I'm still with Alicia in middle school here. Middle school Alicia. Undaunted. Undaunted. I was like, well, okay. That's okay. That's okay, babe babe i'll redeem myself

so i went and got her like kenny g's like greatest hits or some shit or whatever you know 9.99 special buy from i can't believe roses at your feet didn't signal to maybe just sit this one out though wow so it was a couple months later, and I was like, you know, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be like, you know, I know the roses might have been a little much, you know. Wasn't trying to, you know, be weird or anything, just had a little crush on you. But Chris told me that you like Kenny G, so I got you a little something. She took it. She was like, who the fuck's Kenny J?

She said, who the fuck's Kenny J? Yeah, yeah. And then I knew I'd been had. So yesterday, it was kind of like the universe. When I saw that, the universe just bringing it full circle for me. Oh. The other bad Valentine's Day, let's take this back to the third grade. This is, you know, the more kiddie stuff, you know,

when you get your mom to buy some chocolates and a flower for whatever little girl or guy or whatever you've got a crush on. And so this girl, Christina Branham, it was a three-horse race between me and my buddy Pete Fields and this other dude Larry Baker for for her affections and she let that be known like that's not me just like surveying the situation she said I'm going to pick between you three she told her friend Wilma that she's going to pick between the three of us for to be her boyfriend and it all come down to Valentine's Day and so I

knew I had to out joust the other two somehow so I went to my mom, and I was like, I didn't steal this time. I asked for some money. And she was like, well, how about you just get her a single red rose? And then now I know what that was about. We're just broke as hell. That's what I'm looking for. But then I was just like, oh, yeah, just one is better than a dozen. It's more sentimental.

So all these other guys are going to get her a dozen. I'm going to get her a single. Well, that happened, but it wasn't quite the same effect that I thought I was going to get out of it. I took her that, and I took her a little box of chocolates. And when I reached out to hand them to her, my buddy Pete Fields, and Pete listens to the show, actually. Pete is the world's foremost authority on bog flies and professor at the University of Basel in Switzerland

now what have I done with my life so anyway maybe the best friend I've ever had in my life honestly and I was handing the stuff to her and he steps in between us fucking Dikembe Mutombo fucking smacks the chocolates and the flour out of my hands.

I was like, fuck no, dude. I reared back to punch him, and when I swung through, he ducked, and I knocked her two front teeth out. No, you did not. Swear to God on my life. Go ask Pete Fields. You can find him on Twitter. If I'm lying, I'm fucking dying. We're going to need you to corroborate this story, Pete.

And I'm just, I'm crying. I'm red, not from smacking my cheeks to get ready in the morning. My bowl cut is fucking frizzed out all over the place. I'm freaking out. I'm thinking. I guess I was thinking I was going to get canceled even back then. And so here's Christina. God bless her with just two bloody chiclets in her palm.

You know what I did? I picked the chocolates up and I go, here. Tried to hand her the chocolates and been knocked out she's bleeding she's crying she's got two fucking chiclets in her fucking ball oh my god i cannot with you this is ridiculous this is cartoon shit so it was it was uh it's not one of my finer moments but god damn i've since stepped it up and i really i'm really into valentine's day i know it's like everybody there says you know it's a contrapped capitalist holiday but i there's something i like about just making people even if you're not romantically interested in them or whatever just i told like

20 everyone i came in contact with this week, I told them Happy Valentine's Day. What I do love about it is the color scheme. I love a red-pink color scheme. You look great in red and white. I love it. And red and white makes pink. Yeah. It's perfect.

I can't remember any like sweet little like youthful Valentine's Days. I'll probably block them all out because it's like you said, everyone's rich mammals are sending them flowers, making it look like they have some secret admirer somewhere, you know, and I'm like fucking sitting on my dick in class. Definitely ain't getting called to the office for flowers. You never.

I think one time... I saw a picture back there. You're a fetching young lass. I know. I'm pretty sure I did have one boyfriend that sent me flowers to work, but those were all from your parents. Really? Yes. Parents send those.

My mom never had money to send that shit. Are you kidding me? You think that all the- So, parents send their daughters flowers and say it's from boys or something? No, the girls might say they're from boys, but like- Oh, so like you just throw the card out and like say it's from boys. Yes, all of these are from rich parents. No shit.

What makes you think that all these snot-nosed, turd-ass little boys have money to send fucking Valentine's Day roses to girls? I mean, maybe a few of them. I do think one year, one of my boyfriends... I just never... I never had a very serious boyfriend. I played softball. I was like... I didn't give a fuck. I had other, I was never, I never had a very serious boyfriend. I played softball. I was like,

I didn't give a fuck. I had other, I partied a lot in high school. Yeah, I was like, still in the closet. It was just, I don't know. Anyway, I partied a lot and didn't. Softball, huh? Never saw that coming.

I had three boyfriends in high school, and God bless one of them you know i've apologized too many times but i definitely made him have sex he did not want to have sex i've learned a lot about consent since then but yeah we uh we i was like we are not gonna be virgins was there a stigma around that like was there like some kind of rush to all of his friends were doing anal because they were afraid they were going to get pregnant, and I wasn't into it. I had friends that did anal because they thought it was safer.

Yeah, no, definitely. Like, thought you couldn't get diseases that way. You know what this is called? The band kids. All the band kids were literally just like finger banging and bent over the drums in the fucking equipment closet. just like finger banging and bent over the drums in the fucking equipment closet i just think it's a hilarious notion that like like that some young dipshit just thought oh i'm gonna have anal sex because that's that's safer than yeah very safe probably safe yeah

anyway i don't i do feel like there was because I had two dates to my junior prom. I don't know how this happened. What happened is I ended up saying I would go with this, like, kind of, like, meek, mild kid because he was, like, cousins with my friend or something. I was like, fuck yeah, you know, he's got a nice car. Don't pick me up. Fine. But then, like, I kind of forgot about it. And I got, like, made out with this guy at a party.

And then I was like, yeah, meet me at prom. And so then I had two dates at prom. That's in my my junior prom but i didn't have a date at all to my senior prom so it so wait did those two guys know about that till they showed up we all find found out wouldn't this is a strange well yeah i guess the jig was up there well the one kid he did pick me up we like did pictures and everything in my yard he brought me a corsage and everything were you sweating the whole time thinking how am am I going to pull this shit off? Yeah. Well, I was kind of hoping that the other guy wouldn't be weird when we showed up, you know?

You know, it's interesting. In Eastern Kentucky, polyamory probably took off way earlier than we even think. Because there were several times when, like, you couldn't decide which person you had a crush on. So you're just like, let's go to the movies, all three of together let's just decide and then when i was a kid i was like i'm not on some sucker shit i'm not gonna sit here and like hold hands and you're in the middle and like skiing with both of us well there's a country song about this called that ain't my truck it's a good and we should insert that here i don't know some no name probably i don't know i can't remember but it's like that ain't my truck in her drive that's a gaffe my knowledge but it's going on the end of this that's a fucking good one

um anyway though i did remember i can't actually remember if this was an anniversary thing or a valentine's thing but i lost a bet with my boyfriend um and anyway i don't know how to tell this in a funny way it's just gonna sound sad but suffice it to say that i had to have sex that i didn't want to have because i lost this bet i mean that was part of the bet the whole time and i knew it but it was like something around shape i did not want him to shave his beard because he looked like an idiot without his beard and he kept shaving and i was like listen we're over if you say that goddamn if you'll just grow the fucking beard out and be done with it then like whatever i'll do

whatever you want to do come either it was either valentine's day or or uh yeah and he fucking did it which i didn't think he would but then the other part of it was i had to shave my bush which i did not like to do was not planning ever to do all this shit so it ended up being all this bullshit so like fuck valentine's day it just turns out to be a lot of pressure even if you do I like how I like how it came full circle that two minutes ago I was like yeah it's a really nice holiday I've told everybody I say that oh fuck this shit I don't know but this one was nice I mean I did start my period but I had a good time anyway. Yeah. It was nice.

Well, that's good. You know, it's, you brought up the, like, the shaving stuff. Do you remember when that came into vogue? That was so weird. I just remember seeing really old porn that, like, my uncles had laying around. Like, I had dug out of something. Someone had forgot. And just being like, I'm going to get this bush. I'm going to have a bush. And just, like I'm gonna get this bush I'm gonna have

a bush and just like hope like waiting for it to get there and then you know no one told me no one told me that wasn't cool anymore until like high school and there's like I don't know I'm pretty sure I was like at a at a friend's pool party like birthday party in middle school and I had like bush coming out the sides of my bathing suit and my friends were like what the fuck it's the year 2000 oh god but that one of that's sometimes that ends up being the thing that we talk about for the longest in 66 ed is hair because girls bring it up and they have a lot of questions and I like and and it's like no one has ever said to them do not shave your vagina like there's hair there for a reason it's like no one has ever said to them, do not shave your vagina. Like there's hair there for a reason. It's like putting a razor.

Trim if you must. Trim, trim if you must. I do trim. I actually trimmed for Valentine's Day, in fact. But trim if you must. But putting a razor in that area, it's a very sensitive area. Women are already susceptible to more bacteria and all kinds of health issues than men. People with vaginas are already more susceptible and it's like laying down a welcome mat for bacteria and just like

because it's a moist like dark warm place you know what i mean like things happen i've heard i've heard i hope one day when i become a man that i'll find out what that's just like our eyelashes and the hair in our nose, they're filters. Our eyelashes literally filter shit out of our eyes. Right. If you did not have hair in your nose, you'd be fucked. Like historically, evolutionarily speaking, your bush is to protect you from crabs. More than crabs.

Very, yeah, very scientific filtration system. And so you're removing the filter and you're adding a fucking razor blade. Yeah. To your skin. Dicey proposition. And it's like girls are brought up at this point thinking that's what they have to do their whole life. Like, this is just it. Everywhere hair grows, got to take the razor to it.

I now know why we all have a show together. Why? Pro Bush. We're all Pro Bush. not george w well when i was when i was a young man when i started getting hair down there i thought that was like some like great achievement like me too until it was like yeah i was like oh i'm gonna become a woman fuck yeah i didn't like start my period as much that freaked me out but but then it was like maybe my fresh either my eighth grade year or freshman year, it was like, whoever, my friends were like, no bitch, you got to shave that.

You can't have that shit. And so then it was like, rurn, dead, kilt. It's like I got my bush and my boobs the same summer. Couldn't even use. No good. No way. I found out that it's it's out of fashion well literally even my boobs none of my friends had boobs so they all convinced me they sucked too

this is actually a lesson it's just not really happening this year it's like nothing would fit me anymore my friends were all just like what's going on with you it's really a lot of bullshit you know middle school sucks. It really does. I really do say it's like the worst age for anyone because your body's going through so much. And adults don't know how to deal with you. They don't know how to. Like, you're not a kid.

You're not an adult. Adults, like, fully don't understand how to deal with 13-year-olds. Yeah. And 13-year-olds really don't know how to handle their emotions or all the changes their bodies are going through. It's a rough time. Let me ask you this while we're still in this yarn here and while I was thinking about it. So yesterday I had this tweet that 69 and fingering are the people's sex acts.

You know, very egalitarian, all this stuff. And so I used to have this joke. I used to tell it all the time when me and you first met. I don't know if I ever pulled it on you. This is one of my old go-tos. I'm sure. If your buddy was going out with a girl or something, for example, first date, I thought it was always funny the next day to not ask if you kissed

or, you know, like how it went or anything like that. The first question right out of the gate was, so, did you finger? And I thought that, for some reason, I thought that was hilarious. And I guess it is still kind of funny. Did you get fingered? Well, we've long talked about you. When was the first time you got fingered?

You know it was in a fucking youth group lockup. We talked about this, didn't we? Yeah. You and Tina on the back of the fucking... No, that was Crystal. That wasn't the first time. Don't you know Tina's short for Crystal? Don't you ever do math?

No, I'm sorry. On the back of the church band. My first time was even funnier than that. No, I was so embarrassed the first time I got fingered because I could hear it. It was like, you know, you're fucking, I'm like 14. Right. Fucking swish, splash.

We could fucking fill up the whole place. Swish, splash, taking a bath in the back of this church. And I could literally hear it. And I was so, I was mortified. It is funny how that is like the gold standard when you're like a middle school guy. Everybody's like, yeah. And it's so fucking ridiculous. It's so weird.

The very first time I ever fingered a girl, and I won't say who it is because I'm still buddies with her, and she could possibly be listening. She'd kill me if I told this. But she's going to know you told it. Well, she's going to know it's her when I tell the story. So do you remember the movie Bats? No.

It was like this really kind of shitty horror movie. And it was before our movie theater became a church, the last two movies playing that I can remember, maybe they weren't out at the same time, but I just remember the last two big blockbusters were the first Mortal Kombat movie and this movie Bats. Okay? And so I was taking this girl.

We'll call her Megan. Just, you know, not a real name. And, uh. We'll call her not Megan. We set this date up specifically just so that we could fool around

at the movie theaters and ain't no make on to go watch no goddamn bats. You know, I've never done that. I've never fucked around at the movie theater. Really? Yeah, never.

Never ever? Uh-uh. Wow. I feel like I missed that train and now it's like, wow, what was the point? If you're not 14, it's pretty pathetic. Really gross. So I have to remember my go-to outfit was this nylon Adidas track suit. Like not even that nylon.

What's like the windbreaker material you know what I'm talking about? Oh, my God. I could say this. You have always been a coach. Literally always. Always. Jesus. Well, so, you know, we sit down. And I'm super fucking nervous.

Like I built this way up in my head. And, you know, we were like, you know, talking dirty on the phone to each other and all this stuff. But, like, when the rubber hit the road, I was not at all prepared for this. She was. Surprised she was keyed up about it. I was, like, shivering. So I took my Adidas track jacket and just sat it on us, took it off and sat it on our laps.

Dark theater, only people in there. And then I just, like, did it for, like, two seconds and then just, like, got scared to fucking death and quit. And I went out to the lobby and just stood out there for an hour and let this poor girl watch her bats. Oh my god,

you ditched her? Well, no, I went back in there eventually but I was like so scared to death that like I had done something wrong or like, you know what I mean? Oh my god.

So anyway, it's really not that funny of a story. It's just funny the first time I figured a girl was in a movie called Bats. Jesus Christ. This is going to have to be heavily edited.

You know what we should do? What would make this funny is if we put in some kind of wild squish noise instead of fingered. Every time we say fingered, it'd just be like. I'll leave the acrobatics to Terrence. Oh, God. All right. Anyway. To round this mush out, I believe we have a banger in this week's Mountain Eagle.

Oh, my God. The banger of all bangers. Do we ever. So. Oh, there's even a picture. Holy God. So this is the first time reading this, okay? This is the first time reading this.

We don't know where it's going to go. We may have to cut this. Yeah, we may have to. We don't know where this is going to go. This could go in either direction. So with the whole Ralph Northam scandal in Virginia and all this stuff around blackface and obviously these fucking men acting like

they're just men of their time. Even that shit doesn't even fly because this is like 88 when this is happening. So, for a little brand synergy, our paper went and wrote a little essay called Men Wearing Blackface is Part of County's History. called, Men Wearing Blackface is Part of County's History. This coming off the backs, mind you friends, of the noose getting stolen from the courthouse. The Tommy gun for sale. Yeah.

Which I later found out that Tommy gun was supposedly used to guard payroll. Really? Back in the day. Yeah, they bought that fucking Tommy gun to guard payroll. So if anybody tried to rush it and steal the money. Yeah. Wow. Crazy shit. It's bizarre. Well, this is interesting because, you know, we were talking, I guess a couple weeks ago

before the Martin Luther thing about how good William Ison's part in last year's Mountain Heritage proceedings was good. And it's good because, like, the history of racism in Appalachia gets kind of whitewashed a lot even more so than like normal ass other southern racism because everybody acts because everybody was like poor here or like was a sharecropper here was like a like a indentured servant style coal miner here whatever that like we just didn't have those problems well I'll be damned here we go here we go so yeah yeah just a little plug for and I'd love to have William Ice on the show to talk about Well, I'll be damned. Here we go. Here we go.

So, yeah, just a little plug for, and I'd love to have William Ice on the show to talk about this more coherently. He would, I'm sure. I mean, one of the things I love that he pointed out, he said, all you people who think that your grandma was Cherokee princess, she was probably black. Yeah, you'd be shocked to know that you probably have a great-grandmother that's black. Here we go. Men wearing black faces part of county's history. With all the controversy taking place in neighboring Virginia over current Governor Ralph Northam wearing blackface in a photograph in his 1984 medical school yearbook, It is hard to believe for many people today that watching educated white men sing and perform skits with their faces painted black was once an accepted form of entertainment in nearly every community of the United States, from New York City to Jenkins, Neon, and Weinsberg, the three cities in our county. Honestly, not hard for me to believe that.

No, and it's very tied up in the banjo, too. Oh, yeah. Totally. So, in Letcher County, grade school and high school students encouraged by teachers and PTA members appear to be the first to have appeared in locally produced variety shows known as, quote, minstrels, end quote. As if nobody knows what the fuck that is. In which the performers wore black shoe polish or some type of makeup while playing the role of a black performer singing, dancing, or doing a comedy skit. A search of the Mount Eagles digital file, some of which date back to 1907, the year the paper was founded,

indicate that on February 6, 1931, the Jenkins PTA sponsored what appears to be the first fundraising minstrel show in Letcher County that was openly advertised as featuring performers in blackface. Quote, Cotton-picking scenes, stunts, songs, wisecracks, and blackface galore, end quote, said an announcement from the Jenkins Parent Teacher Association that appeared in the Eagle two days before the show was performed by teachers, citizens, high school pupils, etc. in the Jenkins High School Auditorium.

The county's first amateur blackface minstrel sponsored by a civic club appears to have occurred on December 13, 1941, when the Kiwanis Club of Letcher County, quote, presented an old-time minstrel show for the purpose of raising funds for underprivileged children throughout Letcher County. Wow. Ain't it Kiwanis? Is it Kiwanis? Kiwanis.

I don't know Kiwanis. It's just one of those, you know, like Rotary Club. Bizarre. As a fucking fundraiser. They were making fun of black people to raise money for poor white kids. And they call us crazy when we're, like, raising, like, you know, concerns about what it says to bring prisons anywhere, but particularly

in poor white places. Or places considered to be poor white places. The Whitesburg Grade School sponsored what is called a Negro minstrel as part of its Halloween carnival held on October 22, 1943.

If you're easily scared, beware, a school announcement exclaimed. Don't go into the devil's kitchen. God, this is kind of hard to write. The Eagles' files also show that with a few exceptions, the local schools began to get out of the minstrel show business after the Jenkins Kiwanis Club and Weitzberg and Neon Fleming Lions Clubs began annual runs of blackface minstrels, some lasting up to 20 years. On December 1st, 1949, Kentucky's then-Lieutenant Governor Lawrence Weatherby was the principal speaker at the Jenkins Kiwanis Club's fifth annual Kiwanis Club minstrel, which drew what the Eagle called a large and appreciative crowd that was entertained with a Harlem hop before the program ended with a prayer. Proceeds with like a plantation style prayer.

Proceeds from the Jenkins Kiwanis Club minstrels, many of which were held in the old Jenkins Fieldhouse before crowds of at least 800 people helped the club build a public swimming pool, build the field house itself, support the community's little league baseball program, and provide assistance to disadvantaged youth. Eagle files indicate the Whitesburg Lions Club began sponsoring and performing in blackface minstrels in 1945, sometimes in both Whitesburg and Neon. Money raised for the Whitesburg Lions Club minstrels was used for eyesight conservation the whitesburg kindergarten and christmas presents for children at the general baptist orphanage the whitesburg lions club 15th annual minstrel performed in december 1960 was to be its last in which blackface was used three young kindergarten students appeared in the event

and what in in that event's only blackface skit. So they were just like bringing children in to do the show. Babies. This year's minstrel, which was well-received, was a departure from the traditional blackface shows of past years that Eagle reported in its December 15, 1960 edition. Jesus. Director Mrs. James Frazier and club members decided to try,

instead of a combination, country hillbilly show and came up with Clem, a country corn musical. Oh. So they like tried to like merge the minstrel shows with like Hee Haw or some shit. God damn. While no news or commentary exists in the available legal files that would explain the Widesburg Club's decision to stop the blackface minstrels after 1960. I'm assuming the Civil Rights Movement probably had something to do with that. It appears that at least some of the club's

members and supporters were sympathetic to a national media campaign being run at the time by black mothers who wanted a ban on all blackface performances. The Jenkins Kiwanis were slower to abandon the shows. The December 8, 1966 edition of the Mountain Eagle includes a lengthy recount of the 22nd annual Kiwanis minstrel held at the Jenkins Fieldhouse on December 2nd and 3rd. The in-men, the targets of the stereotypical jokes associated with blackface minstrels, were named Snowball, Sambo, Rastus, Hambone, Tambo, and Zeke,

and were played by Jenkins school teachers, businessmen, and public officials. The interlocutor, or straight man, was played by a Beth Elkhorn coal company official. Wow. Imagine that fucking shit. So, in addition to the performances of songs made popular by blackface minstrels such as Dixie and Camptown Races,

the program also included more normal acts such as the local rock and roll bands The Merchants and The Jades, who were accompanied by a group of young dancers who called themselves the Jadettes. Dance routines were also performed by the Jenkins High School majorettes and cheerleaders, and a young dance instructor tap danced to the Herbert Alpert and Tijuana Brass Hit Whipped Cream. Also on the bill was a talent show in which men dressed as women

and competed under the names Miss Miniskirt, Miss Jetset, Miss Goodwater, and Miss December Playboy Playmate. What the fuck? That shit was going on even when I was a kid. The Mountain Eagles files indicate the show was the last of its kind sponsored by the Jenkins Kiwanis Club.

It also marked the last time an amateur blackface minstrel was mentioned in a news column in this newspaper. It's so fucking funny to me, and I don't want to hear any of these motherfuckers in the community hemming and hawing about how we didn't have racism here when that shit was going on. Like, my mom was, like, in her 20s then.

Yeah, I was about to say, like, our moms could have easily been like toe tapping on on these stages and the thing is too it's like like black people got the right to vote my mom was like 13 when black people got the right to vote like how do you even look at that and you can get on these like martin luther king stages and these are the people mind you too in our communities that are leading the economic transition stuff that are denied it is and like also these aren't all white communities there's plenty of like accountability it ain't like these are just like lost clueless white people out in the wilderness alone making bad decisions like

they are going there are black people in these schools. Friends and neighbors. Black kids undoubtedly were like seeing this shit. Yeah. Which I guess the schools weren't integrated by then. Right. So they're still legit segregated. Another crazy thing is that, you know, when all that shit popped off and it was, when exactly was it? It was during all the Nazi shit. Nazis coming here. And there was like a Dallas...

Some Dallas cops were shot at a BLM rally. It was, you know, this bullshit. And that night, a friend of ours had put a big Black Lives Matter sign up in her window. To, like, rally against that. People were like, of course, you you know black lives have always mattered up in neon because there are a lot of black people in neon right but it is literally the most segregated area of the county of probably eastern kentucky it's like so completely segregated yeah it's like that because black people exist in a place doesn't mean that they that their lives matter that they

are valued and they're not fucking locked out of all. And let's also examine the historical reasons why they exist in the place. Right. So it's insane. And it's weird. I don't know when that happened that there's just such a dissonance and such a disconnect from Appalachian racism. I mean, you'll even hear people say, oh, we didn't have slaves here. Which is bullshit.

Which is bullshit. Definitely people were definitely enslaved here. But the story is always what happened was when people got freed, they were trying to like scurry and get work, trying to figure out work situations quickly. And they signed on to bad deals with the companies. And that's how black people got here.

They got roped into mining. got here they got roped into uh mining and so they got roped you know like we'll pay for your house and blah blah blah and then it's like that was a dead end street for everybody which is not true slaves were here yes well before that and in fact evan smith got me a copy of uh the history of colonel uh fess whitaker who's like you know was the jail of etch county and like said he was like friends with Teddy Roosevelt and all that stuff and wasn't he with your grandpa in a fox house somewhere right and then

in that book in the opening chapter there's this part's kind of a throw away and it's kind of interesting that he even mentions it it says it was a slur for his slave not Fess's slave but one of his friends' slaves. And it said, and whatever his buddy's name was,

Jim hated to let his go, his slave go, but when the greatest man of all time, President Abraham Lincoln, says you had to, you had to. And this is not counting. So it's like... And it's just like. So it's like... Yeah.

And it's just like crazy. It's like, it just sucks that we have to have these conversations over and over for one. And people are shocked and defensive when people with power in these communities are obviously racist. Oh, yeah. It's like, what made you think they weren't? What evidence do we have that any of the people in power in this country

are not complete sociopaths who hate most people, honestly, at this point? Like, we don't have any evidence for that. And so we can come full circle here. True Trill Billy episode. Terrence would be so proud to say that it's like obvious why these constant attacks are levied against especially women of color who have like scraped up into a position of voting power which you know what is her power to get to like have a couple minutes on a congressional hearing floor well she's the president now in the same way

that trump and then we're pushing Guaido guy in Venezuela, I'm only recognizing Ileana Omar. If we have to have a president. Yeah. If we've got to go this way, here's the plan. Here's the coup. That's who we're supporting. Well, anyway.

But how brave. I'm sure the Eagle thinks that they deserve a big old cookie for recognizing their own racist history. Well, I mean, it's interesting because it's like, nobody talks about this shit anymore. Everybody acts like this is just like... Because that would completely fuck their narrative about how great it is to live here, and everyone just gets along, and we're all... Love your neighbor it's interesting i know you know bill turner better than i do the only time i've ever had an audience

with bill turner was buria professor you know from harlem county is when he was talking about like the the black schools in harlem county at the time before uh before desegregation. Like all the powerful white people in the communities, like their kids and like the poor hillbilly kids were getting taught by these like itinerant mountain preachers, like at these like Bible schools and stuff like that. But the black kids, their teachers had come from Bethune-Cookman and Howard and a lot of the HBCU schools were super educated. He was like, we learn Latin in our schools.

They were better schools. And they were just objectively better schools in eastern Kentucky. But the funny thing is the white people thought they were doing them a disservice by keeping them out of their schools. And it's funny because Bill Turner says, too, that of like that sort of black diaspora that came out of eastern Kentucky and from Hazard and Harlan County and even Wattsburg and other different places that there is an astonishing amount of people that earned master's degrees and PhDs that came out of those black mountain schools and it's interesting that like the white folks thought they were getting one up on the black folks and they

really ended up better for it. And here we are still to this day. Still to this day. Same shit. So what's the question? It keeps coming back. It's like, should Northam, did I say his fucking name? Yeah.

Should he resign? Of course he should. This is the least of his crimes. So these are criminals. All these fucking dudes should resign. Every fucking last one of them. Virginia's a fucking mess. And the crazy shit about about it is it's like and you saw this i don't know if you were on the show last week but did you say we're like they're the third person in the line of

succession i think it's like their speaker of the house got out in front of him got out in front of it well i did some things i ain't proud of and what did he think was going to come of that? He thought he was going to be applauded? No, that's the thing. It's like, hey, too bad, so sad. Jeez, Louise. This was fun. Our get out in front of it would have probably went just as good, though, honestly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hopefully we don't have anything that ugly.

Yeah, it maybe is just an idea to scratch completely. Yeah. Getting out in front of it. Although this country could get out. I mean, Angela Davis says this over and over. Most of the systemic issues in this country relate back to how slavery was never truly abolished. And it was never fucking actually. Even acknowledged.

Acknowledged. I mean, acknowledged in a sense, but like. But it was never made right. Even acknowledged. Acknowledged. Well, I mean, acknowledged in a sense, but like. But it was never made right. But we still tell these myths. And in some ways you can't make that right. But it was like, we've never handled this in any way as a country. We've never tried to make a real reference for that. And the thing is, is like, you're right, you can't.

But also the thing is, like, the least you could do is quit telling, like, just objective falsehoods about this place. Right. And about the whole country. Yeah. Not just here, for sure. No, I mean, that's what I. Right. And about the whole country, not just here, for sure. No, I mean, that's what I meant. About the whole country. And I think I saw this on just some, you know, not so hot Twitter take, is that some guy tweeted, like, you know, I'm a little worried that we're never going to get to reparations

if we just keep having to recover the blackface chapter. You know, it's like if we're just still stuck in this bullshit, we're not going to recover the blackface chapter in the, you know, it's like, if we're just still stuck in this bullshit, we're not going to get to reparations. We're not going to get to a new fucking society. Like where, where do we, where do we draw the line and just be like,

we're leaving you people back here in line. You're insane. Yeah. We, um, we're going to, uh, go make sure that president Omar has the power she needs.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's fucking crazy. God help us. Thank God that this weekend we have some discount chocolate and flowers, too. Cheap flowers. Go round it up and, you know. Do something good for yourself. If you haven't tried it, maybe fuck in the bud this weekend or something.

I don't recommend it. Just stick to the 69 and a finger in that you're used to. Don't go chasing waterfalls. That's a good place to end the design. But this was fun. Good job. Let's do more of these. Terrence is worried sick.

He's sweating right now. Worried we fucked the whole. We did it, buddy. We did it. Anyway, to close it out, y'all, visit our Patreon, patreon.com slash Trillbilly Workers Party.

There is no apostrophe or anything in that. Again, patreon.com slash Trillbilly Workers Party. Tell a friend to tell a friend. And, yeah. Thanks for being with us. Every day now I hear people say My ship is sailing, could be any day Any day now it might not feel so blue

My baby tells me stop and look around If you ain't careful, boy, you're trouble bound Run over cover and you might not find none there She say there ain't no money that's running around you can't make money staying at home yeah and there ain't no future. Baby, there ain't no money. Baby, there ain't no money in the ones that you really love.