Trillbilly Worker's Party - SUNDAY SERVICE 1: Fakes And Liars Of The Bible

Episode Date: April 12, 2020

On this Easter Sunday we're taking you to First Trillbilly Baptist Church as part of our new quarantine series, Sunday Service. This week you'll learn all about the importance of getting those fake friends out of your life, and how you can encourage them to visit their nearest seppuku fields. Send your tithes to Patreon: www.patreon.com/trillbillyworkersparty

🎵 I'm going to pray. It's good to see you today. Good to see you today. It's good to see you. Good to see you. What are you feeding them kids? My God. Oh, my God. I mean, my gosh.

It's good to see you today. They're growing up so fast, aren't they? It's good to see you. Oh, it's good to see you. This coronavirus is not going to keep us inside for long. They won't keep us down. It's good to see you. Thank you for coming out today.

Thank you. It's good to see you. Now, is that a cough I heard? You better not point it my way. Make sure you're sneezing into your elbows, everybody. Oh, he has risen. It's good to see you. It's good to see you. Now, Mrs. Cottle, you know what they said about your angina. You should not be out here, but the good Lord cannot keep you down. It's good to see you. Thank you for bringing out all your grandbabies. It's good to see you. Thank you for bringing out all your grandbabies. It's good to

see you. Now get on in there. Get on in there. It's good to see you all. It's good to see you all. If you got your Bibles, church, please turn with me to the book of Luke. If you've got your Bibles, church, please turn with me to the book of Luke. We're going to start with chapter 22 and verse 14. And the word says, When the hour came, he took his place at the table and the apostles with him. He said to them, I have eagerly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer. For I tell you, I will not eat it until it is fulfilled in the kingdom of God.

Verse 17, And he took his cup, and after giving thanks, he said, Take this and divide it among yourselves. For I tell you that from now on I will not drink of the fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God comes. Church, how many of us know that we've woke up many a Sunday morning saying the same thing after getting on a good drunk, that we too wouldn't drink of the fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God comes. Verse 19 says, Then he took a loaf of bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to them, saying,

This is my body, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me. And he did this same with the cup after supper, saying, This cup that is poured out for you is the new covenant in my blood. But see, the one who betrays me is with me, and his hand is on the table. For the Son of Man is going as it has been determined, but woe to that one whom he has betrayed. Now if you would just go on down here with me to verse 31, which Christ gives a little prediction of who this person might be. And he's talking to Peter, saying,

Simon, Simon, listen, Satan has demanded to sift all of you like wheat. But I have prayed for you that your own family may not fail, and you, when once you have turned back strengthen your brothers and he said to them lord i'm ready to go with you to prison and to death all right talking like a little bitch ass jesus said i tell you peter the cock will not crow this day until you have denied me three times that you know me. Let us pray. Father, we come to you right now this morning just thanking you for this opportunity to assemble against the will of Governor Andy Beshear,

against his gubernatorial order. And we just ask that every head that's bowed, every eye that's closed, everybody that's listening from afar, just keep in mind this day to watch out for their fake friends. And that this whole messy business and all the messy business of our lives could be avoided if we just recognize and get rid of the fakes and liars in our lives. Lord, we just ask that on this Easter morning you would just be with us,

each and every one as we gather here, spreading contagion one amongst another, that you would treat us like those that trampled on scorpions and took up snakes there in the book of Luke. And that it would not harm us. And that we would not be a hindrance to one another, but rather lift one another up. And it's with all this we give you all the thanks in the world. Amen. Folks, just if you would this morning,

I'd just like to meditate upon a thought. And it's this idea that the fakes and liars in our lives as we go about our daily lives are the ones that more often than not, more often than not, the ones that are the biggest stumbling blocks in our lives, as the name Fake Friends would suggest. I think it was the great blues man, Brother B.B. King, that said,

nobody loves me but my mama and she might be jiving too. And the lesson there, church, is, is of course that even if somebody tells you that they're going to ride on some bitch-ass Romans with you, even unto death, chances are when the Romans show up, they're going to deny you three times and then look over at the high priest and say nothing to him, but instead turn and cut his slave's ear off like peter does in the scripture here shortly thereafter another one of your messy friends how many of us know tonight that judas is scary it was as messy a bitch as they come come up to you with a sack of silver and kiss you on the cheek and say to you or not say you, but rather say to the cops,

this is the guy right here. Take him. Arrest him. Arrest him. That's how she usually goes with the fake friends. If we could just root the fakes and liars out of our lives, we could not only live a little more seamlessly, church, we could also prevent unnecessary crucifixions. And really, ultimately, that's what it's all about is flattening circles and getting our risk pools for crucifixions lined out and trapezoids

and what not really leaving the rest of it to the invisible hand of the market which apparently is predicated on both silver and betrayal. So as I close tonight, church, before we dismiss you to go to Sunday school and welcome Brother Ray back up here to lead us in song ministry,

I'd just like to leave you with a little parting word here, and that being that to always have doubt you see it's doubt not faith that is really the source of our hope particularly in days like this when the lord was in the garden crying till the sweat became like blood he said you, you know, Father, if you would let this cup pass from me, but not your will, not my will, but your will be done. And then again, when he's on the cross, he says something. He says, my God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? And church, that doesn't sound like to me like a declaration of faith, but rather a man that knows that he's trusted one too many sloppy bitches and ended up in a sort of a fix. But in any case, church,

just stay sober, stay vigilant, and just know that everybody that says unto you, let's go ride on these fucking pussy-ass boys, all of them ain't your friends. With that, I just welcome Brother Ray back up to the pulpit tonight. Thank you, church. If you would, you can make all love offerings. You can go to patreon.com slash trillbillyworkersparty. Love offerings, you can go to patreon.com slash trillbillyworkersparty. We're accepting love offerings during these trying times so we can keep our ministry going.

Just know that if you do that, we will heal any afflictions that you may have, any sort of financial shortcomings you may have. We're going to pray and agree and believe God that that situation's going to turn around for you folks, that that big break's just right around the corner. Just know that we're always thinking about you and we're here with you, for you. With that, I'll just welcome Brother Ray up. Thank you. Open the eyes of my heart, Lord

Open the eyes of my heart I want to see you I want to see you Open the eyes of my heart Lord open the eyes of my heart I want

to see you I want to see you to see you high and lifted up Shining in the light of your glory Pour out your power and love As we sing holy, holy, holy.

Open the eyes of my heart, Lord. Open the eyes of my heart. I want to see you. Sing it! Woo! Sing it! I want to see you. Everybody sing it out! Open the eyes of my heart, Lord.

Open the eyes... I want to hear you! I want to see you. I want to see you. All right, everybody stand up. All right, let's go. See you high and lifted up. Shining in the light of your glory.

Pour out your power and love as we sing holy, holy, holy. High and lifted up, shining in the light of your glory. Pour out your power and love as we sing holy, holy, holy. If anybody's just feeling the spirit right now and you need to just come to the front, you need to pour your whole heart out in front of the whole congregation in a way that's kind of awkward, and they're going to hold you to it later. Everybody's going to see you come to the front of this congregation and make a pledge to Jesus Christ right now.

And they're going to know you did it. They're going to remember it. They will remember the fact that you got down on your hands and knees and said, it's time to enter the ministry and that you pledged to probably go halfway across the world for some sort of mission trip or that you pledged to go to seminary. So if you're feeling the call right now, if you're feeling the Spirit, come down to the front. Come down to the front. There's no judgment here.

We are all equal in the eyes of God. We're all equal in the eyes of Christ. Come down. Pour your heart out. Frustrate yourself in front of the king, the king of kings. No one will hold it against you. No one will judge you. We're all brothers and sisters here in Christ together.

If you're feeling that call, just come to the front. Don't even think about it. Just get up off of your tail, off your hiney. Get out of that pew. You're probably sitting in the back row. You're thinking, I can never do this. I'm not ready for this. I don't have what it takes.

I can't ever be a soldier for Christ. But let me tell you, I was once you. I was once you. I once thought that I didn't have it in me either. Now look at me. Now I'm leading worship in front of a congregation of maybe 24 or 25 people. And now I'm what you've always wanted to be. I am the apogee.

I am the ultimate example of what a soldier for Christ looks like. A frail, 32-year-old, neck-bearded, hipster guy who listens to Matchbox 20 in his car after work and feels guilty about it. I'm what you've always wanted to be. I lift it up. Holy, holy, holy. I lift it up. Sing it with me.

I know that's not really how it goes. Holy, holy, holy. But we're going to do it goes. Holy, holy, holy. But we're going to do it anyways. Holy, holy, holy. High and lifted up. High and lifted up. Holy, holy, holy. Holy, holy, holy. Amen!

Amen! Amen! © BF-WATCH TV 2021 Wow. So here we are today in Sunday school in Bible class. What did you get out of the sermon, my friend? Well, I got two things I wanted to talk about here real quick. And that's that, you know, the message today was about fake friends, about fakes and liars, about people that are drama. People that are preying on your downfall?

People that are praying on your downfall. What do you think God does with that when he gets those prayers, when he gets the prayers of people praying on other people's downfalls? Well, I'm glad you asked that, Brother Ray, because I've got two scriptures here that talk about what happens when messy-ass bitches... Whoa! Hey, this is Sunday school. I'm sorry, when people that are drama act out, here's how they get dealt with by God. Now, of course, here at the church, we believe in the inerrancy of Scripture.

And we believe that it was divinely notated to the writers and divinely inspired. But there is just one little hitch in that idea. And it starts in Matthew 27. If you've got your Bibles, just flip over there to Matthew 27, verse 1 through 10. And the scripture says, Early in the morning all the chief priests and the elders of the people made their plans how to have Jesus executed. So they bound him, led him away, and handed him over to Pilate the governor. When Judas, or excuse me, handed him over to Bashir the governor.

When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned 30 pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders, saying, I have sinned, he said, for I have betrayed innocent blood. What is that to us, they replied? That's your responsibility. So Judas threw the money into the temple and left, and then he went away and hanged himself. Or should he have hung himself?

Which is it? Is it hanged or hung? It's hanged. Okay. So that's one account of how a messy bitch gets dealt with. They get stuck in their own grief and go take matters into their own hands. You're going to get us in trouble over here. Well, I'm sorry.

And then another thing that happens is in Acts 1 and 18, there's a totally different account of how Judas Ex exotic dealt with himself and the scripture says acts 1 verse 18 with the payment he received for his wickedness Judas bought a great field and there he fell headlong his body burst open and all his intestines spilled out like a pinata like a pin which is like interesting that like you know i fell a field many times and never been disemboweled so i mean there's question marks it was their jagged rocks i gotta have some more context well back then if you wanted to kill yourself the common way was falling on your sword so i would imagine that there's probably just fields where you can walk

out swords sticking out of the ground do you want to kill yourself sword seppuku fields is their call seppuku field just fall on just fall on any sword well it, it's interesting that there's two very explicitly talking about the same guy, right? And two very different accounts of how he met his end. Yeah. Well, I mean, what do you think? Do you think that, um, you think that Judas should not have killed himself? What was his alternative? What was he going to do instead?

I mean, he was really backed into a corner. Once you're exposed as a fake friend, there's really just... There's nothing you can do at that point. I mean, there's no turning away from that. Exactly. But it is interesting, though, that this whole business like you know none of us likes waking up this early to go to church uh-huh you know and it would have just been one service we could just treat as normal if judas hadn't been hadn't been drama well let's talk about before this before our our Sunday school teacher comes over here

and slaps us on the back of the head for being recalcitrant. Is that the word? Playing fast and loose with the truth. Playing fast and loose with the truth. One other thing before we go on I wanted to point out is I've been reading out of the New International Version this morning, and the reason I chose the New International Version is because

JesusIsSavior.org says that it was transcribed in hell. I thought that adds a nice little wrinkle to things. I personally, I have the King James Version. The one and only divinely inspired version. Yeah, the King James Version is great because let me read you John. Let me read you John chapter 19, verse 30. This is when Jesus is on the cross. When Jesus, therefore, had received the vinegar, he said,

It is finished. And he bowed his head and gave up the ghost. That's how they write about Jesus dying. The one event that shook Cuban history and reverberates through the generations, they devote about half a sentence to. And that's to say he gave up the ghost. He gave up the ghost. Let's talk about friends that aren't fake.

Well, okay, so Simon Peter is kind of a fake friend. Simon Peter is, you know. He's just kind of a friend that's a little shifty, you know what I mean? He's a little shifty. He's like a guy that'll try to fuck your girlfriend, but still really cares about kind of a friend that's a little shifty you know what i mean he's a little shifty that's he's like a guy that try to fuck your girlfriend but like still really like cares about she's a friend but just has a kind of a weak moral compass um yeah yeah yeah i mean never would never call the cops on you or anything like that but you know i mean i've definitely never done anything like that i've definitely never done anything like that. I've definitely never done that. So I'm not really like Simon Peter.

I'm like, who's the most devout disciple? Oh, God. You know, you don't really hear Matthew being talked about bad. Yeah, Matthew had a good head on his shoulders. Matthew, if you had, well, you know, there's a reason why that Peter got bumped to the back of the New Testament and he's only got

like a handful of like little things they say about him you know what I mean it's like like but one of the if you were

named after one of the big gospels man you know you're kind of drama free so Simon Peter's i'm afraid um so simon peter is maybe the most fascinating bible the most fascinating character in the new testament and definitely the most fascinating disciple just because he um he doubted jesus it's it's you know doubting thomas doubbting Thomas gets a bad rep because Simon Peter was just as much of a doubter.

He denied his Lord three times, obviously, before the cock crowed. But I think probably because he felt so much guilt, he went on to be the first pope. I think probably because he felt so much guilt, he went on to be the first pope. Yeah. Which, you know, let's just call it what it is. You know, that church has its own problems. Simon Peter and Judas are really the two paths you can take as a fake friend. You can either kill yourself in the seppuku fields or you can go on to be the pope.

It's no middle ground. And if you think about it, it kind of makes sense because all the popes were kind of fake friends. Like, you know, you got the new pope, you know, the woke pope, and he's like, you know, has proven to be a little problematic. Remember he smacked the woman that tried to hold his hand a little too long? And then the one before that was a Nazi. Like a literal Hitler youth. Right, right, right. Well, I like the Pope that moved the court to France.

What pope was that? The one that fled Rome? Oh, God. That moved... Avignon. How long ago was this? This was 1305. Pope Clement V decided to establish his papal court at Poitiers in France. Oh, Clement Le Fille.

Yeah, but in 1309, he moved it to Avignon, where it was to remain for the next 68 years under seven different popes until Pope Gregory XI moved it back to Rome. Interesting. My man just, he wanted to partake in the French. That's funny. What did you

call them back then? Parisian Catholics? Like, you're not the Roman Church anymore at that point. You know, you're the... Right, right. He wanted to get the tan in France. right he wanted to get the 10 um so i i'm i'm reading out of john chapter 20 this is when peter and mary go to the tomb so it's's Easter Sunday. All right. We had our sermon.

We were sitting. I don't know if all of you enjoyed the sermon as much as we did. We heard a nice sermon from Pastor Sexton. I don't know who. I prefer Bishop, but, you know, whatever. Bishop Sexton. And then we had a nice praise and worship ceremony and call to the altar from the David Chowder Band, their traveling praise and worship band. And the theme was about fake friends and how, you know, that can get you into some hot water,

but we shouldn't forget that it's Easter Sunday and he is risen, you know? Yeah, that's true. And so let's, let's, let's talk a little bit about what happened when he rose. Um, so Mary and Simon, they couldn't, Simon Peter, they wanted to take the body of Jesus,

but they couldn't find where it was at. They were like, where's the body? Where is it? Where's it at? This is the first day of the week. Cometh Mary Magdalene early when it was yet dark unto the sepulcher and seeth the stone taken away from the sepulcher. Who was that other disciple, Tom? Do you remember?

The other disciple? Yeah. Gosh, who was it? I'm forgetting that. It may have been Thomas. I can't remember. Doubting Thomas. Yeah, that would make sense because then they stick his fingers in his wounds.

Yeah, so that was what I was going to get to. John chapter 20, verse 27. Then he saith to Thomas, this is Jesus. I know it's because my Bible has red letters where Jesus talks, just in case you couldn't figure it out. Okay. Reach hither thy finger, and behold my hands, and reach hither thy hand, and thrust it into my side.

Be not faithless, but believing. Thomas, go ahead. I just got to say something. I mean, we've been railing on fake friends all morning, but let's just keep it a buck. Christ wasn't exactly the easiest person to be friends with. He was always asking you to do weird things like go into the village and talk to a certain man and ask him to go up into the attic and pour out seven vessels of elderberry juice

and then drink four of them and return to me with the other three and i'll do something something you know he just he just asked a lot of his friends you're right he did um we all have friends who ask a lot of you they're very high maintenance and uh anybody that asks you to finger their mortal wounds it's a little i mean that's a lot you know i mean it takes a lot i got questions about that i mean were they still bloody were they like you know what i mean oh and also this is ancient israel so i mean gangrene they didn't even have antibiotics bro so you can't have someone sticking your was heart was Horowitz reporting on this back at the time you don't know where Thomas's fucking hands were before this this is Matthew Mark Peter the bureau chiefs for 2000 AD.

So, yeah. Thomas fingers Jesus' wound. Jesus loves it. He loves it. Thomas answered and said unto him, My Lord and my God, Jesus saith unto him, Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed. Blessed are they that have not seen and yet have believed.

And then that's when, that's obviously when he takes them fishing and tells Peter, they throw the net over the side of the ship and then he brings up a bunch of fish and they did they did do a lot of fishing Jesus and the boys did a lot of fishing that's right that's right

they did a lot of fishing of men too they really did um alright so I can hear you in my headphones I'm feeding back I guess

uh wait uh cut that out we're in Sunday school All right, so I can hear you in my headphones. I'm feeding back, I guess. Wait, cut that out. We're in Sunday school. There's no distance between us. We are in the temple of God. So any closing words, Brother Tom? You know, I know that you're related to the pastor we heard earlier. Maybe he's your father or your uncle, but maybe he gave you some closing insights as to what was behind his sermon. Well, here's one thing I want to say about the Easter thing.

And this is just a testament to sort of how Americanized, you know, religion has become in this country. We're all about winners in this country, right? Yeah. We don't really have sports these days, but usually it's the Yankees or the Lakers or whoever. That's who we gravitate toward, the winners, right? But the Easter story's not really about a winner if you really dig into it.

You know what I mean? He's saying, my God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? That's not exactly a declaration of faith. And then, you know, it's like you go around, this God forsake your country. Everybody's like on Thursday, he's risen, he's risen, he's risen. And it's like, no, he ain't even dead yet. You know what I mean? It's like we skip over Saturday. and Saturday, of course, what happens?

God's dead, and it's unclear if there's even going to be an Easter at all. But in this country, we don't trust the process anymore. We just want the end result. And I think that should be the grand takeaway here is to always trust the process. And if you can avoid your fake friends, we can also cut down on our health care costs and in particular, you know, unnecessary crucifixions. Well, you heard it here first. Obviously, you should social distance from your close friends. I know that's hard, but it shouldn't be hard to social distance from your fake friends. So take that advice.

And we'll be praying for you all this week. Don't forget to tell them where they can make a love offering. Oh, if you'd like to, the tithing plates will be going around soon. Or bowls. What did you call them in your church? I guess we call them plates. I don't know why. Yeah, pass the plate.

We're going to be passing the plate around $5 a month on the Patreon. P-A-T-R-e-o-n.com slash trailbilly workers party go go go send us a tithe of five dollars bring all your ties into the storehouse or or ten percent of your income you know we'll take that we'll take whatever you got. So hopefully, you know, hopefully this gives you the faith and the courage to get through this week. And yeah, I guess we're going to go out on a song.

I was trying to think of good. So, you know, it's really hard to stay Christian and godly in a secular world, in a really, you know, in a ungodly world. You got to be in the world, but not of it. And it's really hard to do when there's so much good goddamn, I mean, goddarn music out there. And so I will be offering you some Christian alternatives to that secular, ungodly music you listen to so this week we'll be going out on uh sonic floods i want to know you which is quite literally about fucking it's about fucking god jesus well i want to know you in the biblical

sense honestly it's it's a direct one-on-one ripoff of Third Eye Blind's Semi-Charmed Life, but with lyrics about wanting to dick down Jesus. Oh, my God. My God. Have you no shame, Sonic Flood? So, hopefully you will enjoy that. Thanks so much for listening, everybody. We will see you on the Patreon. Go with God.

Bye. In the secret, in the quiet place In the stillness, you are there In the secret, in the quiet hour I wait only for you Cause I want to know you cause I want to know you more. I want to know you, I want to hear your voice. I want to know you more. I want to touch you, I want to see your face.

I want to know you more. I'm reaching for the highest goal.