Triple Click - (BONUS) We Solve Your Toughest Conundrums

Episode Date: August 21, 2025

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Hello, everyone. We are off this week, as we mentioned last week, and so in place of our usual episode, we are running a bonus episode from earlier in the year. This is a fun one. It's our conundrums episode, which we recorded at the game developers conference in San Francisco this past March with special guest Chris Plant, then of the besties podcast and still of the besties podcast, but also now of post games, a new podcast that he has launched recently, and that's pretty great. been really enjoying it anyways. So definitely check out post games. Of course, we come out with bonus episodes like this all the time, once a month, for members who support our show on Maximum Fun. And we really do count on your support for all of this. Thanks so much to everyone who is a member. And yeah, we really appreciate your support. Thanks for helping us keep this thing going. If you would like to support Triple Click and Maximum Fun, if you'd like to check out all the other bonus episodes that we have run lately, episodes on TV shows.

like Severance and Andor, games like blueprints and metaphor refantasio, cooking, game history, and more, go to maximum fun.org slash join. Okay, that's enough preamble. Let's get into our conundrums episode, which I feel compelled to note up front was recorded, one slightly overtired but otherwise completely sober afternoon at a hotel in San Francisco. It was very fun, so hopefully you all enjoy it. We will be back next week with a regular episode. I'm Jason Trier.

I'm Maddie Myers. I'm Kirk Hamilton. My name is Christopher Thomas Plant and I know the best podcast of the week. Oh, you kind of did fresh sticks. I know. He has a better thing than I knew. Yeah. He did guests though and he got to do his intro.

So it seems only fair that you're here and you're doing your intro. Welcome back triple click to another bonus episode where we will not be talking about the best games of the week. But instead, we will be playing a game called conundrums. Which is going to be very exciting. But first of all, thank you to everybody who's listening to this for supporting a little old show. And especially if you subscribe during Max Fun Drive. I hope you got a PIN or you signed up to get a PIN because the pin is pretty cool. Yeah.

Yeah, but pick ours because it's pretty cool. It is a really good thing. Do you know what it is? I mean, I'm still just completely shocked that this isn't the main feed. Jumps. The feed for the cool people, you might say. If it helps, this will probably be in the main feed later in the main feed later in the year.

Hell yeah. When we need to fill a spot like over the hall. Oh, thank you. Yeah. When we want to take a week off. Right. Then everyone will finally get to hear Christopher Plain. I am so flattered.

The pin is it's, it says it's a lowercase G gamer pen. It's like a game controller and it says lowercase G. It's a very inside. I like that. It is very inside inside inside. I don't listen to the show. Oh, that's right. Yep.

Chris isn't a fan. No, I am. Oh, you said you do listen. I thought you were like, I don't listen to the show. No, I don't listen to the show. I don't listen to a triple click, just so you know. All right. So we're going to play a game called conundrums today.

And this is a game where we kind of, we go over conundrums. Our listeners have sent in a whole lot of these dilemmas that we're going to kind of debate over, give our takes on. And I've rounded them up. They're going to be a surprise to you guys. This is going to be real fun. Because I'm the only one who's read them. And I put them all together and it's going to be a lot of fun. So we're going to start off with some video game related conundrums.

and then we're going to kind of go off the rails from there. Chris looks scared. I'm going to be canceled. I hope you're right. I can feel it already. You are. From a bonus, a bonus feed,

a triple quick episode. Just wait. That's going to be the thing that finally gets you. We could keep it out of the main feed, depending on. Yeah, we'll see where we go. All right.

I'm going to try to think of one as we go that would get Chris canceled. Thank you. That's our goal for this. Something, I'm not sure whether to go like, it's for the max fond drive. That's true. We got to.

Get people in. If enough people sign up, we'll get Christmas. It looks like a politically cancelable day. It's just like saying things are going really well. Yeah, we're going to find out. You can only keep one. Your child or your spouse. Oh, cool, thanks.

That would be easy for me. I don't have a child. That's true. That's true. Cat or a spouse. Chris, if you have to say a racial slur. Wow, no, no, no, no. You checked, you, check, you check.

And say it right now. All right. Let's get started. This is, this first one comes from a Luna. Luna says, would you rather never be able to play video games for the rest of your lives or never be able to consume any entertainment media besides video games for the rest of your lives? I know my answer, which is I would rather never be able to play video games than not be able

to read books. I would rather have books. I think that might be my answer too. Is that messed up? No. Are we all admitting video games are bad right now? There's a kind of like simple logic to it, right? Yeah, it's also a time thing.

Video games haven't been around long enough. Exactly. So you're cutting yourself off of all entertainment. Right. Including like Leonardo da Vinci's paintings. Like you can't even see anything. That's on entertainment media. I would say it's content.

It's content. Actually, Leonardo da Vinci's Netflix special. You would not be able to watch it. And I love that one. Yeah. Leonardo da Vinci's paintings were kind of the content of the era. I would say they were. The TikTok of the 1500.

He was just a content producer. He was a content creator. And, you know, he made a lot of stuff. He was very productive. He was a prolific. He actually, he went around Italy and he would say, we'll give you $100,000 if you participate in our game. It's actually really upsetting to picture him as a Mr. Beast type. If you survive 15 years of this plague.

So Maddie and I gave our answers. Wait, so, Chris, you were saying some logic. You thought there was some logic to this. Yeah, I mean, it's purely the time. You already answered it, which is like you, what I love about video games is the newness. and it's not helpful to use film comparisons because it's not one to one. But I think there's something exciting about being like, I feel like we're like in the 60s going into the,

or like 50s going to the 60s. We're coming out of the studio system and everything's falling apart and at the same time like all this weird stuff is happening. Right. And that's cool. But like if you were at the beginning of that era of film and it's like, okay, you can watch the talkies and a little bit of the musicals or you can have all of art.

Right. Yeah, I think all of it sounds pretty, pretty good. Yeah, or music is another comparison where, like, they just figured out the stereo spread. And it's like, it's all about to be the 70s and the 70s are going to be like the sickest decade ever. But you're not quite there yet, which is maybe always how it feels with games, but still, I think that's right. And right, we're not saying that games are bad. I'm saying that. Okay, Maddie's saying that games are bad.

The rest of us who are uncanceled are saying that all of other media outweighs games still. Sorry, games are great. They just haven't come up yet. There's kind of, there's the pre-Blueprints era and the post. Interesting. Interesting. Interesting. This will be the 1970s.

This is disco. It's here now. All right. We got lots more to get through. That was a good one. Did you have a question first though, Chris? That was a great question. I didn't like that one.

You were just saying, are you like, I thought you just, you seem like good question for me. I didn't know if we were actually allowed to talk about blueprints. Jason is just excited. Jason has been, happily saying that it's good. There were like three years of demos. So I feel like comfortable. We're just talking about.

The demo. Hey, spoiler. I think it's pretty cool. The demo is fantastic. The demo of blueprints is mind-blowingly great. No comment on the rest of the game. No, I couldn't say.

Not until the embargo is up. But the demo, really, wow. Anyhow, give us our next pin on here. Next question is from Ian. Screw Embargoes. Next question is from Ian. Ian says, would you rather have to play every game

in the hardest possible difficulty setting for the rest of your life or on the easiest difficult. Oh. Sending. Oh, boy. You look like you already have an answer as well. The person who already has an answer gets together.

It's the easiest by far. Yeah. Because the games, plenty of games don't even have the easy settings. That just means you get normal. Yeah, Eldon Ring is Eldon Ring. And the hardest difficulty setting on some games is like, game ruiningly bad. Right. It's like ninja guy dinner. But counterpoint, so is the easiest on some games.

Where it's like, if it's a combat-focused game and like part of the fun is like learning to use the combat. I don't know if it's game ruiningly bad, though. I'd be hard-pressed to think of a game where the easy mode truly would ruin the game. But I guess I wouldn't have experienced it yet because I haven't yet entered into this conundrum of my life. So you're all saying easy. You're saying easier. Especially because of what Chris said, which is like there are a lot of games that just don't even have easy modes.

And so it's kind of like cheating. But also, I could make the game hard in some other way. I could just play it on a weird control. Do you remember, I think it was in the first Bannetta, the easy mode you could play with one hand. It was kind of an accessibility setting and you could just steer her around and I think she auto-attacked and stuff. So really, you could make it harder for yourself in somewhere. Yeah, you could like play Bannett on a DDR pad. I don't know.

I'm just riffing here. So my question, and I agree with the general consensus is that easy mode is better, especially because there are so many games where difficulty makes no difference. And so it's fine for it to just be easy. but I wonder if, so if we are talking about Eldon Ring, would easy mode and Eldon Ring mean every time you play Eldon Ring, your character automatically is over-leveled as shit and like, so you just like one-hit everything

and it kind of- That actually would suck, yeah. That's what I was getting at before, though, like, if the game is not a real mode in the game. No, right, I'm wondering. But you're proposing a new conundrum essentially. I'm sort of wondering if this conundrum is imagining, like, reality is being distorted around us so that when we pick up a game, it just becomes easy for us.

I mean, I think there are some games. games were like, like, okay, to go within the spirit of this, it would also mean like if a game has sliders for like combat or like whatever, you would have to turn them all to the easiest possible mode. And so like essentially the combat would just be kind of going through the motions and you wouldn't have to think about it at all. So I do think, I mean, I still think the answer is easiest for me, but I do think that it would not be fun. Yeah. I think you would be missing out on something along the way. Next question. This is from Linz. Would you rather have someone watch you play video games and constantly give suggestions to solve a puzzle or be a level or have someone

constantly question why you are solving a puzzle or fighting a boss in a certain way. Oh, oh man. Okay, so to think this through, so this is like you're trying to figure out, you know, a puzzle in a puzzle game. I don't know, Oberdinner or something. And someone is being, is behind you saying, no, don't do it that way. Do it. No, go over there. No, this is, you're totally wrong. or someone's behind you being like, so who's that? Why are, why is he there? What is his son? What are you doing?

Why are using the sword? You should be like, why aren't using the bow an hour right now? Because I'm trying to get an distinction because that feels a little like the first one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's more they're just wondering. They always need you to be explaining. Help versus nagging. Right.

This is Cratos. This is son. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And presumably part of it is you do feel compelled to answer. You can't just ignore this voice that is constantly impressive. present, you also need to engage with it in some way, at least for the questioning part. I admit I would feel compelled to answer if somebody was like, so who is Kratos?

I would feel like I had to say. Well, and making suggestions would be quite a bit like some of those tutorial modes that are in a lot of AAA games now, where the character starts, like Aloi starts saying, I should probably drag this connector over and plug it in to bring power. Do you notice this beautiful yellow paint? Right. I think I should climb on. that paint. Shut up, Elo, I know I'm going to figure it out. So, um, I think I'm going to say I would

rather have the person asking questions than the person making suggestions. Because at least then I would get to like, you know, I don't know, like explain what's going on. It's kind of like what we do on the show anyways. It can help you kind of, you know, investigate your priors and try to like explain what's happening. Like anytime you're playing a game and your spouse or someone is watching and you're like, well, here's what's going on and you actually have to explain it and maybe you realize the game is dumb and you shouldn't be playing it. Or maybe you realize like, oh, this is a cool way to think about it. So that's going to be my answer.

I'm envisioning this person asking in bad faith. Like, they're not interested in the answers. They're just bugging you. Oh, wow. So they're either annoying in one way or annoying in another. Exactly. So what's your answer? Yeah.

Which do you prefer, Jason? I think the telling me that rather than the nagging. Because at least the first one feels like they're trying to help as if as to try to just bug the shit out of you. But what if it's bad suggestions? Because I'm picturing the first one, that's true. But I, that really bothered me. Go left.

Go left. I don't know. I feel like it would just annoy me more. I don't know if I know why, but just somebody telling me to do the wrong thing would make me so angry. Whereas somebody asking me questions, even if they were in bad faith, I don't know. At least I could riff on it and tell my own jokes in response as a coping mechanism. I also feel like that kind of reminds me of being a Twitch streamer, which does seem like an incredibly hard job that I don't want.

But like, you're getting dumb questions in the chat sometimes. You're also getting suggestions. And of those two types of ways that people engage with Twitch streamers, I think the suggestions tend to be worse because they're often bad. And they're often like, I already tried that. Or I'm actually just trying to experience this puzzle on my own and I don't want you to spoil the entire puzzle for me. That is horrible. Very frustrating when someone is like, I can't believe he's not even using this item yet.

And you're like, dude, I don't know. I'm just having fun here too. Yeah. I like don't. It's a great question. Let me be clear. The amount of anxiety that gave me the second it was being done.

It was way too real. And that person who is the like, did you know that you can be using the sword right now is our all mutual. to rest fresh dick. That's true. He does. The king of I would never use a guy.

Don't spoil anything for me. But the second I play a game with him in like two seconds pass where it's like I have not done the thing. He's like, have you noticed that there's a door? Yeah, dude. I'm like drinking the sip of water. He is the man who never uses a guy, but he is a walking game guide. Also, let me just say, if you want to settle any beef with any of the besties,

now this is the place to do it. This is great. Can I settle some besties beef? I'm going to do it right here on the bonus feed. Justin McElroy on the besties. He maligned me. He told the story about how he texted me about a song. And I never replied to him.

But I did reply. I replied with a voice memo. And I sent it to him as a very thoughtful reply to him. And I added his question to my Q&A hopper and I'm going to answer it. And then he didn't see the voice memo for whatever reason. And then he went on the besties and read me for filth. And I'm going to say it right here. voice memos like disappear after you listen.

Exactly. I think it triggered something wrong. I don't know that it was his fault, but he jumped to conclusions. And I just want to say for the record, I always respond when my friend Justin McElroy text me music questions. I'm glad we aired this one out. I'm on. I don't remember.

Let's move on. Let's move on. No, we need to talk about this some more. I think, no, give us another conundrum. My next conundrum is from, oh, it's from Justin McElroy. He says, Kirk, now your friend, texts you and you don't respond.

The next one is from Spencer. This is a lighter one. This should not cause you any anxiety, Chris. I love it already. Would you rather have every console ever made, but only one game for each? Or have only one console with every first party release for that console, ignoring backwards compatible?

That is a terrific question. Okay, let's think this through. Yeah, so one console for all time? Yeah, so you could pick the switch and only get every first party release for the switch. Can we say... Or have every console ever made, but only pick one game for each game. Can we add that you can't say PC?

Right, yeah. Consoles. Oh, console. Okay, cool. Because that's just not a fair answer. Yeah. I think I would rather have only one console with every first party release for that console, specifically the Switch.

Yeah. Because I feel like you get such a variety there as opposed to only one game for each console, which would be a little much. I don't know. I don't know, but it's fun to think through the alternative. I know. I kind of love. like the idea of owning one of every single console ever.

Only one game for each one. I know, but I think I would get to pick, though, right? Yes, you get to pick in this scenario. I mean, I'm not going to have to pick live on the air right now, but in this fantasy, I'd have infinite time to decide. I'm assuming, by the way, in this scenario that, like, you haven't actually played any games except for the ones in this. So, like, if you got a Super Nintendo, you would have to pick between Mario World and, like,

Link to the Pass and like all these other. Right. So as opposed to having only one console, but every first party release. But that means you've never played Mario or Link to the Pass. But you don't have to make the tough choices. You can just be like, all right. Well, I guess I'm just going with all these games.

I'm not afraid of tough choices. I think I'm going every console. And I would make the tough choices as I went along. Yeah. Also, first party is great, especially if you're a big Nintendo fan. I mean, the great thing is you don't have to get an Xbox. Um, so, right. Shots fired.

I mean, well, no, it's like what, what, what one Xbox has that many consistent games. Yeah, you pick the 360 and you play Gears of War over and over it like me in college. What? I was going to say sneak king, but okay. That's not, that's not first party. Sneak king? That's true. Come on, come on.

Follow the rules. Well, first party was only the have only one console. Yes. And then if I do the, like, all the different consoles. Right. Then I can actually get my favorite game. it would just have to be like very careful, right? So I can get my Spolunky, I can get near,

I can get Kentucky at zero between like all the main consoles and I can grab some of the classic Mario, like Mario Kart 64. I feel like I could build like a pretty killer roster. Or like switch. And you'd have to switch between all of these consoles every time you'd have to be plugging you. You'd buy like the sick of my switcher, yeah.

I would have a mister and then I'd have like one other console. Yeah. It's a great question. I mean, how about you? Yeah, I think similarly, I like the idea of making the decision. Like Maddie said, I like that you would get to this little buffet. Because I think I've mentioned on the show, my favorite meal is brunch because at brunch you get a bunch of different things. And then I've got my toast and I've got my eggs and I've got my hash browns and I've got my bacon and my orange juice and my coffee and my water. And I can just like grab a little bit of everything. And this would be more like that. So I understand there would be some variety. pulpery if you pick the switch because the switch would be a good pick like you'd get a lot of good games some great flavors too that you end up getting by having that wide variety of console like the neo geo pocket color has some of my favorite like little games on it right so getting that variety would be nice versus like the switch it's a very specific era of video game and the thing is if we're talking every console yeah you are talking about like the Atari links you're talking about the game gear the game boy the game boy color Nintendo has released so many different iterations of consoles so you can kind of cheat the same

system. Right. And like, and it wouldn't even necessarily be cheating. And so then you're talking to get the Xbox Series S, the Xbox series X. And like, do those count as different ones? Great. So you got two in the Xbox. And you're like, oh, man, I can, like, the world's my oyster. Just one of those can be this Belonkey machine or whatever, you know, your third party, like get Hollow Night on one of them. So you can play that a bunch. So I think that it just seems like the numbers and the variety are in your favor if you go with every console. Plus it would just be kind of cool to have every single console ever, which I certainly don't have now. So I'm going to say that. All right. Next one. This is from AJ.

if you could pick one of these long, unfinished series to finally be completed, which would you pick Half-Life or Game of Thrones, the books? Oof. Man, can we say that it's satisfactorily completed? Yeah, like it's a good ending. Let's say it's a good ending. Let's just kind of more fun to imagine. Let's say they're both bad endings.

Game of Thrones is bad and Half-Life is good. No, you know why I think that's, no, that is not part of this because I think part of the Game of Thrones context is knowing how the TV show ended because that has an impact on your choice. Sure. I think that it's still going to be Game of Thrones for me. And I say that is probably, or at least Triple Click's biggest Half-Life fan. Yeah, this is shocking me right now. It's because Half-Life as a story has never been the reason.

I don't need to know what happens to whatever Alex Vance and Eli Vance and Gordon Freeman. I don't, like, I want to play more Half-Life because I like playing Half-Life, but I don't actually really need to know the outcome of the alien invasion. story or whatever. I just want to play more half-life. With Game of Thrones, I really do want to see how George R. Martin tries to tie the whole thing together. So that's my answer. Yeah. My answer is Half-Life, even though I don't give a shit about Half-Lyight, because Game of Thrones has lost me so badly. It's like it's a hater answer. It is. Yeah, I feel similarly, in part, because I feel like George R. Martin doesn't care about Game of Thrones anymore, and I feel bad for him now.

And I don't want to make him do it, even in this weird fantasy where he's, maybe he had a good time. I'm like a wish has been granted on my part, and now he has to complete this series that it kind of seems like he's tired of and he's excited about all these other projects. Maybe he can do Half-Life 3. You know, he works on games now. I was about to make the same joke.

Maybe George could write Half-Lythrift 3. I mean, he might be interested in that. And also, he's like a Jets and a Giants fan, which is so fucked up. Well, I mean, you've read Game of Thrones. Yeah. It's that's the real Game of Thrones. It's like being a Stark Anna Lannisters fan.

That's true. I wonder if anyone's ever said that to me. Which all of their people weren't. Yeah, that's true. It's kind of true, actually, right? You love Jamie and you love Ariya. Yeah, I mean, neither. But not out of like a dislike for either, but more of a, they have served their cultural purpose.

Like, I don't. We can just move on. Yeah. If we got more half-life, I would be happy. Oh, thank you. We got more of either of them. It would be fun. I want new things.

But like, yeah. No, sure. Yeah, Chris is cooler than all of us. We're silly for one. plotting these days? What could they possibly make that would be like fulfilling in the way our imaginations are for either of them at this point? Well, at least for Half-Life, you would get a new Half-Life game.

I mean, did you play Alex? I really liked Alex. So, like, we could get another thing like that. But video games have come so far since then that it's like, do you ever see that movie John Carter from Mars? Yes. It's like John Carter from Mars. Unhinged movie.

Unhinged movie. But it's like the source text, not source text, the inspirational text, from like Star Wars and all of science fiction of that style that has come out since it was written as a book. And the problem then is when like, it's like, oh great, John Carter from Mars, we've got that. And it's like, well, we've already gotten like every spin off of that. So it's hard for me to imagine ever playing a new half-life

and it being like as exciting as that. It would just be like another really, really good first-person shooter. Yeah, okay, fair. Felix asks, if you were the absolute ruler of a small nation, what would be the first law that you would pass? It cannot be a law that already exists in any jurisdiction, like don't kill people. It has to be unique. Would any of your hypothetical countries go to war with each other over these policies? Wow.

It has to be a law that doesn't exist anywhere? A whole original law? We can be a little loose with it. No. Like everything Yeah, I know. That's part of why this is too hard. You're ruling a nation.

What would be the first law that you pass? I imagine that the spirit of this question is like silly things. Like a new Metro game has to come out every year in Maddie's country. Everybody has to learn the saxophone. Right. Yeah. These are great so far. Okay.

Actually, I'm just going to say that's mine since we're being kind of silly. I'm going to say my law is that every single person has to learn a musical instrument. We've tried it with the recorder. But I'm just going to say every citizen, you got to play some instrument. Are you counting the recorder? Is the recorder cal? It could be one of the instruments, sure, but you can pick whatever. And we'll fund it, it'll be like, we'll have like an amount of our treasury that's dedicated to whatever instruments you're going to learn.

Yeah. Like having to learn how to write. Yeah. And it'll, I think, make people more like in tune with their emotions and sensitive and connected to one another. That's mine. It's mine. I think mine would be something about, like, maybe not. having to work a retail job for a year, but something like that.

Oh, yeah. Like some type of job where you have, yeah, service job or, or something where you have to talk to people and be part of the community for a year. And it's just like a socially enforced and accepted thing that everybody has done that type of work at least once in their lives. Right. But like mandatory military service. I was going to say, yes.

But like for like for like being part of. And I don't even know that it has to be retail because I feel like I would also accept working for like a suicide hotline for example or something where you interface with the public in some way and there'd be like a series of jobs that would qualify for this and you'd have to do one for a year and you're helping people yeah you're helping people are coming to you and you're having to come to you for help and you have to help them I like that that's a great law mine would be that nobody can have more than uh 500 million dollars oh the great one I love it really good honestly you would have I wouldn't fight a war with your nation yeah so it's good I would probably adopt that law I

like, look, it's working great for them. Yeah, the number is up in a little variation. Something, but some seems like a strong number. Half a billion seems like more than anyone should ever. Now, you would be invaded and destroyed by America. I hate to tell you this. But I would help the resistance in your country. Yeah.

Maddie took mine. Oh, really? Well, yeah. You can say the same thing. No, no, I have a different one. In my country, Ghostbusters, you know the movie, right? Yeah. It exists.

Okay. But everyone has to call it geese busters. And they all have to talk about how it's about busting geese. But it's like the same movie. Nothing has changed in all. But if you, if you,

if you, if you, fuck up, off their head. Full guillotine. Into the guillotine. It's a full kilotine. The death penalty only exists for this while.

Nobody else is killed. Correct. Right. It's a utopia. It sounds great. Yeah. Thank you. Not universal basic income because who cares.

Well, no. So actually, everything is perfect except for this. You get a universal. You get the UBI. But it's this. Right. But you have to say geese mustard.

Philemine asks. Philamine asks, here is a question that will tell me all I need to know and I meet a new person. Relish mustard ketchup. You can only pick two out of these three for the rest of your life. What do you choose? It tells them all they need to do that. Let's just go in order. I get it.

What's yours? Relish and mustard Yeah, word, Maddie I guess ketchup and mustard This is hard I do like all three It's hard Catchup and mustard

But relish You know, it has a special place In my heart Yeah It's gonna be mustard and relish for me Because ketchup I'm not really a fan It's too watery Too sweet

It's too sweet Yeah Wow Too sugary Must and relish I love pickles This is why we're so close So that apparently

This is why I work at Polygon. It's a catch-up workplace. Andreas asks, would you rather play every side quest in every game you finish or never touch a side quest in a video game again? Wow. I've been talking to Stephen Totella about AC Odyssey, and he is like the side quest master. He does every side quest ever.

Yeah, he does them all. Which is kind of the way to play that game. But the idea of doing every side quest, Bing! Kirk here, as I am editing this bonus episode. First of all, I hope you're having fun with our. our slightly unhinged energy. Look, we never get to be in the same room, so we all get very excited.

And also, I just wanted to say that when I say AC Odyssey there, Assassin's Creed Odyssey, I actually mean shadows, the new one, which we are going to be talking about, the same week you might be listening to this episode. Anyways, you know, like I said, we were in the same room. We got excited. I said the wrong thing. So that's what I was talking about. There's going to be a funnier one of those a little bit later, and I will bang in to let you

know what I actually meant for that one as well. Okay, back to the episode. Bing! So is this like I can stop, I can I still stop playing? Like if I'm playing ASEOd-Od-C-Odice? And you don't want to play any of all. You have to do every side-quest. Well, the idea is for you to play a game, you have to do every side-quest or you just

never do any side-quest. Well, no, I think I get what you're like putting here is, let's say that you start a game in either in these scenarios and you'll play for five hours like, I've had enough. You would be allowed to stop playing the game. Yeah, I think so. Okay. Yeah, I think that's good. Oh, man.

But if you are going to finish it, you have to do every side quest. And otherwise you can never do a side quest. I would have to do side quests. I would have to, even though it would be too much in a lot of games, most games where that's too much, I don't finish them anyways because they're too long because there's too many side quests. But there are so many great side quests in so many games that like, and especially like things that get qualified as side quests that are like the best.

things in the game. So yeah, absolutely. I would say all side quests. That's how I like to play a video game. Like I would I rather play, especially again if you can put it down. I like playing a game doing all the side quests I can. And if I get forward with it and it's like I got my fill.

I don't have to see the credits to enjoy a game. Did you play Indiana Jones? Yeah, I like that. The side quest and that were great. And like imagine missing those. You mentioned Odyssey and I was like, oh, I can talk about that game forever. That game. I really, really enjoy the side quest in that game. Yeah, I mean, there's too many good side quests in games now.

I feel like that has to be the answer. And too many games rely on them for the story to such an extent. Like, in a vowed, they call things side quests that I'm like, this feels like it's kind of the name game. And that just increasingly is a design philosophy. So, yeah, you got to go side quests. Spencer. You didn't answer, Jason.

Yes, I said, yeah. Okay. I think we all gave the same answer. Everyone's got to answer. Spencer says, hey, guys, we had someone present this hypothetical at work once, and it spawned a multi-week debate and challenges being issued. Oh, boy. Challenges being issued.

Wow. There's people being slapped above. The question was, would you rather receive $1 million up front or $1,000 per hot dog eaten for the rest of your life with no restrictions on how or how many or anything on the hot dog? Zero restrictions. You eat a hot dog, you get $1,000. I won't read the rest. Spencer basically said that like this led to him being dared to eat X number of hot dogs.

Wow. But he wasn't being paid $1,000 per hot dog, I presume? No, it's something, another, a smaller bet. Okay. So $1 million up front or $1,000 per hot dog eaten for the rest of your life. Okay, and that means basically that you need to eat 1,000 hot dogs. Yes, for the rest of your life. So you could eat one a day for the next three years.

Because that's, for starters, we're just joking about UBI, but that is basically a UBI. Yeah. A really good one. $1,000 a day. Hot dog for lunch. I don't love hot dogs, but I don't love hot dogs. But you could get a nice hot dog. There's no restrictions on the hot dog.

A fancy hot dog. You can get a sausage. And you could afford a fancy hot dog. You can pay a thousand dollars to eat it. Hold on. Some counterpoints here. Okay. Oh, my God.

It's actually the opposite. Okay. Okay. So Kirk and I are hot dogs. Well, a couple things. Team eat the hot dogs. First of all, you put a million dollars in the stock market. You get a return of 8 to 10% a year.

You're ready making. That's quite a few hot dogs are ready. there's no like you're still getting the health detriments of eating the hot dogs. That's such a Jason answer. No, this is worth thinking.

Right. So if you're eating so if you're eating a hot dog every single day, like you might go blind. You'll make it to like 600. They're not that bad for you. What? What?

What if you ate veggie dogs? Or veggie dogs? Also, Maddie, you don't have to like go get a klonoscopy his office. Oh, yes. So you're right. You're right. You know.

And also, like, you're going to be so sick of hot dogs by, like, the fourth week. You'll be like, oh, my God. Yeah, I'm less worried about that. I should have taken the million dollars. Okay, so you're saying a million. And also, but even if you, like, the thing is that because of inflation, the hot dogs are worth less and less every single day. So you feel like also a time pressure where you're like, I have to eat more now for that you'd be worth a while. What a statement.

You get a million dollars. Again, you put it in the bank and it's just making money. passive income. I'd rather have passive income than active hot dog. No, you're kind of convincing me because also you get the million dollars and you just don't have to worry about it anymore. Like initially I was thinking the hot dog thing is sort of fun. But each time you eat the hot dog, but then it is the kind of thing. Right. It becomes a curse, especially because there's no end. So if it were like until you eat a thousand hot dogs, well, then that's just crazy. I suppose there has to be some enticement. And yeah, you might feel like

it might drive you crazy because you're like, man, any minute I'm not even. eating a hot dog. I could be making myself money. Yeah. Why am I going to work every day? Okay, okay. I'm convinced. You're right.

You're right. Yeah. No, actually, though. But I don't know. I don't know if I'm convinced yet because also like, couldn't you just be looking back on the million dollars in the same way if you chose the hot dogs and being like, no, I'm glad I'm eating the hot dogs because I have so much more money now. Like I don't know.

Only if you eat a thousand hot dogs. How long would it take you to eat a thousand? No, no, no, no, not a thousand, two thousand. Because a thousand breaks even. Yeah. Yeah. So really like. You're going to want...

1,000 and 1. Great. You made $1,000 that you could have made in the store. How I think about money, which is such that I'm like, I don't know that I need that much money to live. Oh, yeah. So, yes, on the one hand, I'd have the million dollars and that I'd be set for life. But I'm also like, I could just have a hot dog every now and then and then just like do other work as I see fit. And that would just be like a part of my life.

Or you could put a million dollars in the bank and take out 4% every year and have 40 grand just from... I mean, you're probably right, but I don't know. I think the main takeaway is in imagining some of the downsides thinking it through of the infinite hot dogs thing. This feels like it would be a black mirror episode or something like that where you give someone what sounds like this wonderful thing, eat a hot dog, get a thousand dollars. And then there's all these downstream effects that you didn't anticipate. And it does seem as though there's a risk of that where with the million dollars, there's no real risk. It is just clean and you get a million dollars. There's no cholesterol worry.

And then you can keep working and making money and doing whatever you want. Yeah. It's like the less interesting answer, but it is the same thing. I would take the million dollars. I feel like the fact that I'm hungry right now is hurting. We haven't had dinner yet. My answer. I am hungry.

It's a question you don't want to answer. We'll ask you again after that. I would like a hot dog. I will order our answer after we eat. I feel like as soon as I eat dinner tonight, I'm going to be like, yeah, it's a million dollars. Yeah, obviously. I don't need a hot dog now. Well, they all say, I love pigs in a blanket, a little constant.

My God, those are amazing. Those I would definitely I'd eat a lot of those. If it was $1,000 per picking a blanket, that would be a different story because those are much easier to eat. That's insane. That's insane.

And then you bet it all and losing all the Chiefs, your frigging team. Wow. What? Everybody's just settling their beefs on this episode. Wow. I assume it's your fault that they lost.

Oh, my God. To be honest, though, it is much worse to be a Kansas City Chief. fan than a New York Jets fan because they are just living in happiness all the time. They're a great team that wins. We don't have to get our hopes up. That's true. Eric asks, this is a heartbreaking one.

Would you rather stop doing the podcast or for the rest of your lives only ever be allowed to talk to one another when recording the podcast? So for us that will be trouble like Chris, for you, you can make this a best ease question. Right. Okay. So the three of us are only the only times we talk where live are recorded. recording. So like our planning sessions would become content. Or any other personal conversation

we have. I feel like okay I feel like for the purposes of this question to make it simpler we would be able to have conversations planning the podcast but we wouldn't be able to like to socialize during those those conversations. Right. It would be only podcast related, work related

conversations. I don't know talking to each other about anything else. I don't think I would keep doing the podcast. That sounds really sad. Jason, Jason, you would keep doing the podcast. not to find out who's mercenary. I would just be like, oh, screw it. We'll just catch up for, like, we'll just add extra time to the podcast. We could make it work, but I feel like having to be on is different.

That's true. Can't get real. And I also like having conversations. Can't talk shit about Chris Lane. It's true. We're taking all shit talk and gossip off the table, which, come on. Yeah, actually, you're right. You're just convinced me.

Jason. The podcast just got veterans when I'm here. Yeah, that's true. But I do think, I think having the podcast gives us an excuse to talk to other every week. I mean, I talk to the two of you more than a lot of my other friends. We might lose touch if we stopped doing the podcast. That's a good point. And I do feel like the podcast preserves our friendship and that's probably something all podcasters feel on some level. But shit talking is fun. That's true. Chris, what's your take on this? Yeah. For you,

it's besties. Yeah, it's tough. I would probably be stop the podcast. I mean, I love all of my co-hosts, but especially like rush, fresh dick. Yeah. I've known for so long. And I think it would be like we our kids have so much in common and I would like that would be really tough you could start making a like parenting podcast I don't think that will happen that's not really the rule I mean hey you know what our audience and they're getting older maybe they'll begin to it I think I would say stop the podcast only on principle because we live in a world where people are constantly pushed to turn every moment of their lives into content that's part of it too and just on principle being like no I just don't agree that I didn't do that yeah real life all right

Ron asks, would you rather live without modern computers or without air conditioning slash refrigeration? Whoa. That's a great one. It's a great debate. World without modern computers sounds kind of. Or computers. Yeah. Or all computers gone?

No, no, wait, wait, wait. Does the question say modern computers? Yeah, but I... No, no, no, no, no, no. Give me your interpretation of this. Let me play this out. What do you think so? Like, I would say that modern computers would be anything post Windows.

95. I would say like once you actually have a agreeing. Including our phones. Including our phones. Including our phones. Right. Right. So those are all gone. I, that sounds quite appealing. I understand that it's like not. I understand that there's like there is a different world out there. But so many of the things that I really freak me out about the world would disappear. Yeah.

where yeah like the air conditioning part almost isn't related at all honestly I forgot what the other thing was do I want to get all with technology disappeared suddenly or no so I read this by the way but air conditioning slash refrigeration is a very important

food refrigeration so like we would not be able to have any of the kind of food infrastructure that we have like ice boxes like old school medieval style refrigeration and AC. Right, like you dig a hole in your basement. Like you could still have roots sellers.

They're letting us get rid of all the stuff. I know, I know. I guess we get AC as a nice knock on a fact. It would be great. So one part of this that isn't addressed is whether other people would have this stuff. Yeah, like are we sapping it out of all existence or is it just us? It just kind of changed things. Right, which does change things because like getting rid of modern computers would be more tolerable

if nobody had modern computers, as opposed to, like, air conditioning and refrigeration, where it's like if I could just, like, put my shit in my neighbor's fridge, then that would change it. Right. You use their Facebook account when you need to get on marketplace. I love to have a Shabbas Glee for you. Yeah, that's a good idea. And I'll press the elevator buttons for me. Yeah, and you just explain that you've been cursed and you're like, I just need somebody else to refrigerate my stuff.

Yeah. Right. I don't know. It's a tough one. It was a conundering. I had the answer. I'd rather live without, man, I think without modern computers, just because, like, I think that's life would, life went on for a long time.

Like, whereas before air conditioning or refrigeration, things were pretty rough. Eating was very difficult. Like, you just, you have to eat things as, like, you have to get things every single day. Yeah, that was kind of better though. And also get, like, yeah, but also. I'm kind of in favor of getting rid of all of it. But it would not work in our modern, like, society because we're not living in. Yeah, we're not built for that.

Yeah. I think I would want to get rid of technology just because I would be very curious what that would be like. So I just want to see what happens. Yeah, maybe we should just release an electromagnetic pulse and see what happens. Yeah, just right. Have we thought about becoming environmental terrorists? It's like the end of fight club or whatever. Next question.

Eric says, would you rather only be able to use mouse and keyboard for the rest of your life for gaming? Only be able to use mouse and keyboard for the rest of your life or only be able to use a controller slash game path. For me, that is extremely easy. Controller is what I use almost all the time anyway. Yeah. The thing is you'd have to play games like civilization with a controller or whatever. So of those games that are, I guess that's maybe okay. I wouldn't be surprised if Jason does that.

There we go. I'm trying to pick something impossible. But still, I mean, I'd rather use a controller. I think there's a spicier version of this question, which is when you are using a computer, you can only use one. So you have to type with that horrible valve radio interface for everything. Wow. But then for people like Jay Science, like, I don't know, it's still kind of tough.

You can you tell me I have to play games with a mouse and keyboard? I don't hate mouse and keyboard that much, though. No, I love a mouse and keyboard for the right game. I feel like this is another one where you and I are, would be picking the same thing. But it's tricky because, like, I also think about playing like Eldon Ring with a mouse and keyboard and I want to jump out of windows. Maybe not that. So maybe a controller. Like, I think actually, thinking it through, there are plenty of mouse and keyboard games that I really like that I would

be fine playing on a controller because I only play first person games with the mouse and keyboard. And they're fine at the control. I just prefer the mouse and keyboard. But there are a lot of like third person games and action adventure games that are a nightmare on mouse and keyboard that I would only want to play with the controller. So I think the answer is going to be controller for me. Can I give you guys, here's a supplemental one from Mac. Would you rather use mouse and keyboard, but the mouse is a touchpad or a controller, but it has stick draft. Oh, God.

Oh, no. Oh, God. I think touchpad mouse. I think stick drift control. Really? I get used to it. I don't really care. I like had stick drift on the switch.

I know there were class action lawsuits and people were so mad. And I was like... Why didn't you get your joycon replaced? What? I did. I did a lot of it. And I like modded my D pad for Hollow Night and stuff and it got kind of weird and then I fix it. But it's just like when Link runs in the wrong direction for a little while.

It's fine. I'm not trying to... I'm not a sports athlete. But this would be for everything. Yeah. It also depends on how severe the drink is. Because I feel like I've played on some things where they're up just like What's a crazy?

Yes. Like you're trying to play a racing game and you're always adjusting. Yeah, that one's really bother me. How inconsistent. And I don't mind track pads that much. This is a cursed question. It's terrible. Okay, guys, this is a good one.

We all need to give an answer for this. Ryan asks, he sent a bunch of questions when I'm just picking one. He says, if you had to kill and eat any celebrity, who would it be? Oh, my God. Let's say no politicians allowed. Okay. Kill and eat. So you have to kill them yourself too.

To kill them and eat them. Okay. This is what gets us canceled. Yeah, I was going to say. I'm in winning. I want to kill a celebrity, which I don't know. Well, so, I mean, for the purpose of this question, it doesn't necessarily mean you have to dislike the celebrity.

You just want their energy. You think they could be delicious. Oh, I see. You think they would taste good. Okay. Well, no, you can interpret this however you want. But you are killing them. They're dead.

So if you like them, that's sad. Exactly. But you get to eat them. Kill and eat one celebrity. This is an upsetting question. I really don't want to eat a person. What if it's killed? I know that's a crazy thing to say.

No, but I don't want. I have an answer. It's easy. Okay, go ahead. The dog and Frasier. Okay. Would be so easy? That's not a celebrity.

No, that dog is famous. Okay. It's pretty cute too. What about the dog from Taco Bell? The worst thing is I met when I said that. Do you know how many people were listening? And they were like truly offended. And they were like, such a dog?

No. There it is. We got you canceled. No. No, then we did it. No, if it has to be, it has to be a person,

right? Presumable. Yeah, sure. I don't, man. It's hard. What if we say fictional character? Only because,

like, I don't think anyone wants to say a real person. You give an answer then, Jason. Sidney. Sidney. Yeah.

Just because. Do you just take her out of nowhere? Yeah, there's no. All right, well, I'm going to say, Glenn. Honestly, she would taste

she would taste terrible. There's almost no fat on that woman's body. Like, there's their tits and that's about it. Oh, my damn it. I'm saying, I don't think she looks good, and I'm saying that the person who's disgusted by what I just said. Here's what I'm going to say.

Okay, here's that second one that I alluded to earlier. I am about to say that I would kill and eat Glenn Campbell, who is, of course, the guitarist from the wrecking crew and singer of the wonderful strong song, Wichita Lineman. And then now while Glenn Campbell would doubtless be delicious and full of protein, what I actually meant to say was Glenn Powell, the actor, sometime writer. and, of course, Star of Everybody Wants Some Hit Man, Twisters, Top Gun Maverick, and many other movies. So when I say Glenn Campbell, everybody gamely responds as though I said Glenn Powell, because I think they know what I meant, but I did mean Glenn Powell. So, yeah, just so you know that that's what I meant, and let's carry on. I would kill and eat Glenn Campbell. There you go.

We're going to get the whole cast of anyone but you. And I think Glenn Campbell would be delicious. A Glinghamel's steak would be full of protein and energy And I would get his positive vibes As a part of my life That's good That's good Probably the rock

Oh shit A lot of lot of meat The muscle is like stringy and like No I wouldn't save the universe from a rock president Right from the inevitable That actually is like The rules said no politicians

But we can pick people who we just don't want to run It's more like a cautionary thing, right? Yeah. So like anybody that we don't want to run. I'm like projecting out. All right, Maddie, you need to answer this. I just have to think of someone. I don't know.

Amy Adams. I don't want to eat anyone. All right. Next up. I like her energy. She seems cool and I could probably take her. We don't have to kill the person. You think you can kill the rock?

And sleep. We're going to get even more. We're going to get even more bonkers. Oh, no. I'm already. Peter says, I've got a convent. for you. You can play any game fully immersed in that game's world, but you are only equipped with

your own real life abilities. You can only exit the game's world when you have rolled credits. In what game would you be most successful? So you enter your game's world as yourself with your own real life ability, and you can only exit when you've rolled credits. In what game would you be most successful? I mean, Rockbin, definitely. I would make it all the way through. That is a good answer and a fun answer. I don't get through that one I think. You have to burn the rope. Sure, because you can burn a rope.

Yeah, I can burn a rope. And then you do it. You get a cutout song. That's like you only live twice. Will you only live once? Is that what it's called? The more you just die and then the game is. It's like, great.

I could die. Passage. That's funny. I was going to say like cooking mama. I would do cooking mama. I would like overcooked or something like that. Right. Yeah.

I feel like something like Oberiden is like an easy answer because It's like you're already kind of playing as yourself. Right. A game like Papers Please, where you're literally doing. I don't actually want to be in Papers Please I thought of that and was like I would not like to be in that world at all. But the game where the mechanic of the game is literally doing the job. Yes. It is more doable.

Typing of the dead. Oh. Yeah, exactly. I'm going to type. And you would just get really even better. Yeah. And then credits. And the idea isn't like you're in the hell world video game where you get killed if you die.

Well, I mean, we didn't pick at Eldenring or whatever. so no, we're not in a hell world. And if you fail on typing of the dead once, you just come back. You are just in the game, but you have to use your typing skills to win. Yeah, that's a good answer, too. All right, we have a couple more.

Okay. Truly unhinged. This one is from Lindsay. Lindsay writes, this is a scenario. All of the major carb-based foods are gone, for whatever reason, except for one.

Which carb would you want to be left standing, assuming you couldn't eat any of the others ever again? And so it could be like you pick like one of the major crops like wheat or rice or oats or corn or it could just be like based on food. So we need to kind of pick a version of this scenario. Let's say like you can pick a food and it would be like so if you pick rice, it can be any variation of rice. Like rice noodles, rice flour. It can't be like bread and pasta. You have to pick like bread versus pasta.

So it could be like rice, bread, pasta, like any of those cards. So pick a type of carb. bread. Yeah, I'm going wheat as well. I feel like I... Well, it has to be a type of wheat. Okay, so bread. Or can I include cake as well?

No. Cake is different than bread. Cake is different than bread. So really it's like, this is a very restrictive question then. Yeah. Because you can't choose... One type of carb that you're going to eat forever. Okay.

I mean, I feel like that's even less than one type of carb. It's like one type of food that is a carb. Yes. Yeah. Oof, so I guess bread. Yeah. I mean, because bread is so good. It is.

What would you pick? Pasta. pasta is great. But you couldn't ever have a sandwich. That's fine. You don't like sandwiches? I have a lasagna. No, I love sandwiches.

You have a spaghetti sandwich. No. Because you can put anything in a lasagna. Lazzania is kind of a sandwich when you think of back thing. It's like a grilled cheese. I feel like I would miss desserts so much. I guess you could sell fudge and like things that don't have. Milkshakes.

Yeah. Ice cream. Yeah, that's true. Rice. Easy. Yeah. Rice is very versatile. Right and so personal.

But the rule is that it isn't. Sugar is a carb. So the milkshakes. Yeah, I was wondering how far we were going with this. If we're going to take this serious. Which is part of why I was like maybe I should say cake because, but at that point is that counted as multiple carbs.

I guess we're saying no for the purposes of the rule. Mm-hmm. I think in that case I would say cake. Cake. Okay. Because, I mean, recently I had to do low FodMap diet for like a health thing. Oh, yeah, sure.

And the foods that I missed. So I'm just thinking about the foods I missed. And like I really missed. Bread and cake. We're so hungry. We're so hungry. We have got to go to dinner. We have not had dinner.

We are going to go to dinner soon. Yeah. Wait, so the answer is pasta cake, bread, and rice. It's rice because you can garnish it like onigiri. You can put so many different flavors with it. Rice pudding. Oh, yeah.

You need to have sugar on it. Her rice pudding is really good. Pasta, onigiri. So. Just kidding. All right. This looks so mad. No, not really.

This is our last one. This is possibly the most unhinged one. Okay, so in this conundrum, I'm going to preempt this. There's no long-term health problems that are caused by this convention. Oh, boy. Here we go. This is from Inga. Inga writes, would you rather have a perpetually damp butt or

or only be able to ambulate on all fours. So no bipedal walking, but you can stand. Oh my God. Or your butt is wet at all the time. Or your butt is perpetually damp. Perpetually damp butt or only be able to walk on all four. I have some questions about this. Okay.

And no long-term health problems. So neither of these will crowds any issues. So if you're only walking on all fours, you have to go through society like this. That I feel like is a huge downside. Or you have to confess societies of the damp side. But people might not notice that. You notice that.

I got a damp butt right now, you guys. No one knows. It's fine. We really have to go to dinner. He's also ways to address it. I was just kidding. I was kidding. I don't know how a damp butt. My butt's fine.

Just want to say it's fine. It's just making a joke. Kirk just got canceled. So now I've learned the downside of having a damp butt is you tell people about it and then you feel really embarrassed. Well, but the walking on all force thing, like, you'd be pretty tough. But hold on. Hold on.

What if it's so damp that it shows through your pants? Okay. everyone sees it all the time. You are basically, I think you should leave character. You're kind of when I think you should leave character either way. You are. Like, people think something's wrong with you.

Yeah. Oh, it's just my butted stamp. Oh man, I can just picture it. And you're doing it to mark as a character. And you are just having to walk down the street on all fours. I mean, I think it's hard to go with that.

It is hard to go with that. The argument I would make in favor of all fours, even though I think I agree, is that we are designed kind of as creatures to walk around on all fours. Like, we're not really meant to be upright. Like all of our stuff kind of hangs. It's like a lot easier to like walk.

It's easier on your back if you're on all for us. So it would be like ergonomically pretty good for you, except for the fact that as we have pointed out, you'd be like walking up the sidewalk. And you'd be, I like how you said all this like smart sounding stuff. Because it's true. And you're like, however you do look.

Like how would you order at McDonald's or something? Yeah. You would either have to. I need to share. You would either. You would either have to put shoes on your hands or get gross street gunk all over your Well you wear gloves probably

You get like those grippy gloves like for rollerblading or whatever Okay Okay so can you drive a car Because that feels like cheating This is only for ambulance And because there are people who just drive a car When you get out of your car You walk through the parking lot

Okay but then I would just be a long haul trucker And I would just not really interact with people that much Or you could be a well But if you're a long haul trucker you're going to have a damn but anyway. Oh my God. Chris has been silent this old time. I want to know what Chris thinks.

I truly feel like I'm hallucinated. We say the best for last. Everything's just happening. I feel like we didn't say it was recording this in person, by the way. So if you're sensing manic energy, that's part of it. It's very important for people. It really hinges on if it will be noticeable no matter what. Because if it's like you can just wear like vinyl pants or something,

to cover it up. That's one thing. But then you're wearing vinyl pants. But also, if you get to wear vinyl pants. If no matter what it's going to like come through, that's like truly horrifying. Because what I feel like wearing vinyl pants with like leather around it? Oh God. The rule is it's going to come through. Yeah.

It sounds like a like fire hose. It's just out of your anus. Like it should make it work. That would be really bad. But if it's just like just like just a damp. Yeah, just dance. Because they don't say wet. They're not like soaking.

No. I'm referring to the sensory aspect of it and we've kind of supplanted the additional rule that it's embarrassing because the all four's part is so unusual yeah yeah severely inhibit your ability to get a job have friends have a romantic partner

like the thing yeah there might be people into that yeah that's true you never know so and the thing is a damn with am I right well actually you're right I don't know why I didn't think and the problem with the all four things as well because there are cars that are designed to be driven without the use of your legs.

That's true. You could just use a wheelchair or use some other device to get around, but that's not what we're talking about. That would be cheating almost. You can't use all of the different accessibility devices that would be available to you. You have to just walk around. I'm just like, you can't dry your butt. You can't use all the butt drying. A towel.

For example, a hair dryer. None of these things are available to you. They will not work. I have a second question. kind of building off this. Yeah. Let's play out the damp butt scenario. Okay.

Quote. Things you didn't think you would say today. Let's know that. Let's play out. Chris Plan, Polygon editor in chief. Let's play out the damp butt. You picked damp butt, okay? Even though you know that you picked this and you're fully aware of the curse.

How many times would you, like how many towels would you use before you gave up? Right. You know, trying to dry it. A lot. Probably a lot. I feel like the thing that I almost can't evaluate because the all four thing, all, all fours thing is hanging me up is the damp butt being so unpleasant.

Right. Like, I feel like we can't even touch on that because we're just talking about the social ramifications. But, like, picturing that for the rest of my life is really upsetting and might make me go insane. Here's the thing, though. Like, I might lose my mind from that. Or you might just get used to it.

I don't know if I would. Spend most of your time in, like, a bathtub. Like, travel just doing most of your writing in a bathtub. Yeah, like, because. become like a professional mermaid. I was going to say a hot tub professional swimmer. Maddie, you could have gone

with professional swimmer, but you're talking about things I think I could do. I'm not that good at swimming. You don't have a butt. You have a tail. Exactly, but it's damp tail all the time. Do you really think mermaids don't have butts, Jason? Because that's kind of wrong. Yeah. I would say they do. I mean, it's just the main thing

that they still have. They have a fish butt. Sounds like somebody isn't reading the best mermaid fiction. Hold on. Is it a mermaid butt? Is it like shaped like a human butt? I don't think so. It's a fish. It's a fish. It's a fish. Yeah. But fish have butts. All right, guys, I think it's time for answers. Fish have butt. Kirk. What's your answer?

Damp butt. Damp butt. I guess it has to be damp butt. I'm upset by it and I do think I lose my mind over the course of that time. Well, that's part of why this is such a great connection. But I also lose my mind when I'm walking around on all fours. So whatever, I guess. And Jason, you were a damp butt to be clear. We're unanimous for damp butts. Four damp butts in this hotel room. Welcome to our podcast. Ford. Oh my God. This is so upsetting.

This has been great. Yeah, this was fun. Chris, thank you for joining us. Oh, thank you for having me. Where can people find you? People can find me at the besties.

It's a podcast and they can listen to it whenever they would like. It's free on all platforms. And at polygon.com. You can find me at polygon. It's a website. It is a website and a YouTube channel. That's true. Let's not discount that.

Asme nominated. Have you been nominated for a Nassmi? Whoa. No, no alleys for you? Note that Chris is looking directly with Jason. What is it as me? American Society for magazine and editors. We don't know.

It's clearly a very prestigious award. We are shit talking, but we weren't prepared. I've been nominated for a Damp Butt Award. Oh, a Dampy. All right, everybody. Well, thank you again to everybody for listening. Yeah. And thanks for being members.

Yeah, for being members. Thank you for making it all the way through this. Happy Max Fund drive. We're making it all the way through. This was a reward. We hope you had fun. Oh, man. Let's go to dinner.

Yay. Hot dogs. Hot dogs all around. Hi, everybody. Bye. Triple Click is produced by Jason Schreier, Maddie Myers, and me, Kirk Hamilton. I edit and mix the show and also wrote our theme music. Our show art is by Tom DJ.

Some of the games and products we talked about on this episode may have been sent to us for free for review considerations. you can find a link to our ethics policy in the show notes. Triple Click is a proud member of the Maximum Fun podcast network. And if you're listening to this bonus episode, it means you're already a member. So thank you. We really appreciate your support. Find us on Twitter at Triple ClickPod.

Send email the triple click at Maximumfund.org and find a link to our Discord in the show notes. Thanks for listening. See you next time. Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network of artists-owned shows. Supported directly by you.