True Crime with Kendall Rae - High School Grad Killed After Dumping Her Boyfriend: The Murder of Lauren Astley

Episode Date: April 18, 2024

Lauren Dunne Astley was 18 years old and had her whole life ahead of her. In the fall of 2011 she was planning on attending Elon University for college, but not before spending her last summer at home in Massachusetts with her friends. But that all changed on July 3rd, 2011, when Nathaniel Fujita, her recent ex-boyfriend, strangled her to death in his garage. His motive? Their breakup. On March 7, 2013, he was found guilty and convicted of first-degree murder. Amidst this tragedy, Lauren’s parents have dedicated their lives to educating teenagers about the dangers of breakup violence and have traveled all around to promote their non-profit, The Lauren Dunne Astley Memorial Fund, which seeks to bring awareness to breakup violence, and promote education surrounding the matter. Donate to NCMEC through my campaign! https://give.missingkids.org/campaign...  Shop my Merch! https://kendallrae.shop This episode is sponsored by: Huggies ZocDoc Check out Kendall's other podcasts: The Sesh & Mile Higher Follow Kendall! YouTube Twitter Instagram Facebook Mile Higher Zoo REQUESTS: General case suggestion form: https://bit.ly/32kwPly Form for people directly related/ close to the victim: https://bit.ly/3KqMZLj Discord: https://discord.com/invite/an4stY9BCN CONTACT: For Business Inquiries - [e-mail]

Hello everyone and welcome back to True Crime with Kendall Rae. So happy to have you again as always. If you're new, then welcome. So today we are going to be talking about a case that so badly needs to be talked about. And that's mainly because it brings up a conversation around breakup violence. This is a case that I came across late last year and I haven't been able to get it off my mind. I considered doing it around October

for Domestic Violence Awareness Month, but I feel it's one that needs to be talked about as soon as possible. Today we're gonna be taking a look at the murder of 18 year old Lauren Astley. Now her parents and many others including myself believe that it was a murder that absolutely could have been prevented and her parents have really dedicated themselves to

spreading awareness about break of violence and it's a topic that we don't often discuss. I feel you know it's something that so many of us experience, but it's not one that we talk about all that much. I mean, as a society, we've gotten better about talking about domestic violence in general. I think we're headed in a good direction there, much more open dialogue, but one term that we just don't bring up very often is breakup violence. Now, what exactly does that mean? Well, we will be talking about it more today and I think it's a conversation that absolutely should be had in more households because the more we educate people on it the more we can prevent it and it's a great thing for parents to talk to their children about

it's something that I think is really lacking in our school systems but of course it's something that doesn't just affect younger people it can affect someone at any age. before we jump in really quick I just wanted to remind you guys that our latest neck mic items have been stocked the topaz blue long-sleeve shirt and the blue sweatshirt They are available in my shop right now. We do have very limited quantities So if you are wanting to get one definitely go ahead and pick yourself one up as soon as you can as always 100% of the profits are donated to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. And you can find all of my NECMEC merch at kendalray.shop.

And because it feels very appropriate today, I also wanted to mention NECMEC's healthy relationships video. A lot of people don't know this, but NECMEC does provide a ton of safety and prevention resources for families. And their healthy relationships video was created to help you identify exploitive or unhealthy behaviors in relationships that are

often a part of various kinds of victimization. They have a discussion guide that you can go through after watching the video that has questions in different scenarios that are meant to spark conversations about relationships. The video is available on their NetSmartz YouTube page which is NetSmartz with a Z and it's free to download from their website along with the discussion guide. But let's go ahead and talk about Lauren. So Lauren Dunn Astley was born on April 1st, just had a birthday, 1993,

to her parents, Mary and Malcolm in Boston, Massachusetts, but she grew up 30 minutes west of the city in Wayland. Lauren was raised by her parents as an only child. So to say that she was the center of their worlds would be a total understatement. And despite her parents as an only child. So to say that she was the center of their worlds would be a total understatement. And despite her parents' divorce, she was raised by two people who loved her and supported her through all seasons of life.

And even though Lauren only got to experience 18 short years of life, she did a lot in those 18 years. And everyone that was around her could easily tell that she was a very active person. Whether that meant physically active, like playing sports, or active in her community, she was always doing something. Just to name a few things, Lauren was a tennis player, a singer in an acapella group, a member of the Metro West Youth Symphony Orchestra, a camp counselor,

a member of her church choir group, and even starred as the lead role in a performance of Annie through a local performing arts center. Now, Lauren may have only been five feet tall, but the phrase small but mighty really applied to her. Her interest in performing arts and community service were two things that really encompassed who she was and what she cared about. And I loved learning this about her,

and I think it says so much about who she was. When she was only 12 years old, she actually traveled down to New Orleans to help in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. I mean, to be that young and to think about helping others before yourself, to take such an action like that at such a young age, I think is really impressive

and says so much about her character. That is one thing to know about Lauren is she really cared about other people, other people in her life, her family, her friends, of course, but other random people, total strangers. She just was that type of person. Lauren attended Wayland High School, and it was there that she joined the acapella group, the Muses. And let me tell you, this girl was meant to be on stage. She was a naturally gifted singer and her stage presence was, I mean, impossible to ignore. On top of being part of the singing group, Lauren was also just a regular high school student.

And I'm sure so many of you out there know what I mean when I say this, but looking at pictures of her high school experience, like totally throws me back to my own high school experience. It's just such a interesting and special but also highly emotional and intense time and yeah, just seeing the pictures of her back in high school sort of reminds me of what that time was like and sort of puts everything into perspective for me when it comes to this case. It's also really weird to think about

because I graduated the same year as Lauren, 2011, and to think that she would be around my age right now and has missed out on all these years that I've had since high school, it's just, God, it makes me sick to think about. I think for most people, high school feels like your life, well, it is, your life is supposed to be just beginning. It's so exciting, it's so new, you know, and you feel

sort of invincible. To imagine that those years were her last years is just so unimaginably painful to think about. All the things that she was planning to do with her life were just taken away from her like that and it was so, so preventable. And what's crazy is nobody, not a single person could have predicted what would happen to her. I mean, not even Lauren could have possibly known. And that's what makes this so upsetting to think about and why it is so important to raise awareness around breakup violence. This episode of True Crime with Kendall Rae is brought to you by Huggies Little Movers. Huggies knows that babies come in all shapes and sizes and their toshis do too. Huggies best fitting diaper is their little movers with its curved and stretchy fit. Parents know that there's nothing worse than an ill-fitting diaper, absolutely nothing

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So get your baby's butt into Huggies best fitting diaper. Huggies little movers. We got you baby. The warning signs were so small though, practically non-existent. I mean, there were a few, but no one could have imagined it would lead to murder. And I'm sure you've already figured out by now

that Lauren was killed by her boyfriend or her ex-boyfriend, I should say. And his name is Nathaniel Fujita. Just like Lauren, Nathan was a student at Wayland High School and he was definitely known as being the popular attractive football star and he really was that guy in their high school. I'm sure you can picture that guy from your own high school experience possibly or you know picture any movie. The popular jock you know the person everyone liked the person

everyone wanted to be with that was Nathan everyone seemed to like Nathan everyone cheered for Nathan at the football games everyone was kind of jealous of him in general and especially when it came to his relationship Lauren and Nathan began dating in early high school and on the outside they seemed like the perfect couple. Lauren was bubbly. She was an outgoing theater girl and Nathan was the football guy. However, as you can imagine, their relationship,

and I want to emphasize this, was not perfect, even though it may have seemed that way on the outside. The two of them definitely did a lot of fighting. There was a lot of, you know, breaking up, getting back together, breaking up, getting back together, just sort of the onand-off again cycle and I get it. I mean, they're high schoolers. So it's pretty normal I think to fight like that. I mean even for adults I think fighting in relationships can be healthy can be normal but it gets to a point where it becomes unhealthy and Can be dangerous and I truly believe Lauren was trying to, you know,

figure out what she wanted in life, figure out where her life was going. And Lauren was really in a place at this point in her life where, you know, most high schoolers are when they're starting to think about their future, where they wanna go, who they want to be in their future. And she was really questioning things. Her friends were definitely not supportive

of the relationship. Many of them had actually created a list for her or helped her kind of create a list of reasons why she should break up with him. Now, this is something that there's no evidence Nathan knew about, but I thought it was interesting to note that her friends knew that he was bad for her. I don't think they knew, actually I know they have said they couldn't imagine it would have ever gotten to the point that it did, but they knew that he was not the right match for her

for sure. But as graduation approached and the reality of life really beginning at that point for Lauren, which unfortunately wouldn't actually be the case for her, but she was definitely feeling the pressure of figuring out what she wanted to do with her life and who she wanted to be in it. And so just like she had before in the past,

she ended up breaking up with Nathan actually on her birthday. And this time it was supposed to be permanent. Lauren had been accepted into Elon University in North Carolina, which is where she was planning on going in the fall. And of course she was really looking forward to it. As for Nathan, he was gonna go play football

at Trinity College where he would be going and starting a new chapter of his life. And I can only imagine that the timing just felt right to Lauren, that they're both moving on with their lives. So Lauren graduated high school single, and she was looking forward to her last summer at home with her friends.

In fact, her and her friends wanted to really kick off the summer with a pretty big party. There was over 150 students invited and it was supposed to be this, you know, big celebration of life beginning high school ending, you know, all of that. And even that had to be ruined for her by who else? Nathan. Nathan came to the party and just seemed intent on not allowing her to have fun. He kept coming up to her, trying to talk to her, and her friends say that she was pushing him away.

Not an aggressive way, but just back up off me. I'm trying to enjoy my time here. We're broken up. We're done. Leave me alone." And he could not do it. I mean she's trying to have fun at this party, not have a serious conversation with her ex-boyfriend. It just, you know, it's like time and place, dude. And I'm sure they had had plenty of conversations about it all in the past. So she was just ready to really move on and he could not let it go.

Lauren even told her mom about how he was acting that night saying that he was harassing her, that he was being super invasive. He just, like I said, he couldn't let it go. I mean, he was just pissed off, pissed about Lauren breaking up with him, pissed that Lauren didn't wanna talk to him and pissed off about the fact that Lauren seemed to be happy.

In fact, he was so pissed that during the party, they had rented some type of, you know, one of those tents that you see for weddings or big parties that go outside. And he was so mad about Lauren not wanting to talk to him that he went up to one of the polls and punished it so hard that the whole thing almost collapsed and people had to rush up to it and hold it up so that that wouldn't happen. At that point Nathan was asked to leave but the damage had really been done. I mean the night was pretty much ruined for Lauren by Nathan. So that brings us to Sunday, July 3rd, 2011. Lauren spent her afternoon at the boutique clothing store that she worked for at her local mall and she can actually

be seen entering the mall on surveillance footage and sadly this would actually end up being one of the last times that she was ever seen. And after work Lauren had plans to hang out with a couple of her friends, however she didn't end up showing up and instantly they were worried because it just wasn't like her to not show up and to not you know at least let them know that she wasn't going to be there. And her father, Malcolm was also really worried because she always would check in with him, even though he knew that she did have plans after work, she was supposed to come home

and you know, quickly touch base before heading back out with her friends. And when she didn't, and this being so out of character for her, he instantly knew that something was wrong and didn't waste any time. He immediately called the Wayland Police Department and reported her as missing. And by that point, all of her friends really started to panic that no one had heard from her. Word got around town that she was missing and people were starting to freak out. And luckily the police jumped right into action which

Oftentimes I don't get to say when covering these cases Oftentimes we see the police being really hesitant to take immediate action And so I really commend everyone here not just the police but also her friends and family for knowing that something was wrong and getting help immediately so the search for Lauren started right away and Very quickly into their search. They actually made a huge discovery. That night, Lauren's red Jeep was found in the Wayland town beach parking lot with its windows rolled down. Her purse and computer were still inside, but there was no sign of Lauren and her dad remembers driving to the beach as fast as he could. And this is heartbreaking, but he actually ran right out to the water,

hoping that if she were out there, that he could help her. But she wasn't there, and he sadly could not help her at this point. All of her friends were so concerned that they actually spent the night on the beach, camped out, hoping Lauren would show up, but she never did. Officers obviously start asking her loved ones if there was anyone in mind

that maybe could have done something to her, taken her somewhere, anyone she could be with. And at first, no one could think of anybody. They actually specifically asked if her ex-boyfriend could be involved once hearing about the fact that she had recently broken up with him and her friends even were like, no, there's no way he would have done anything to her.

Nathan wasn't violent. I mean, he did punch that pole, but for the most part, Nathan wasn't known to be violent, at least not to their knowledge. And so that just seemed like the furthest thing from their minds. But of course just seemed like the furthest thing from their minds. But of course the police know that anything is possible. Even the people that you would never expect could do something absolutely can. So they of course got in contact with Nathan right away.

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Come on guys, we don't do or buy anything these days without looking at reviews first. And you can filter specifically for ones who take your insurance, are located near you and treat basically any condition you're searching for. And the typical wait time to see a doctor booked on ZocDoc is just between 24 and 72 hours. That's it. Sometimes you can even score same day appointments. I love ZocDoc and I know you will too. Go to ZocDoc.com slash Kendall Rae and download the ZockDoc app for free then find and book a top rated doctor today. That's z-o-c-d-o-c.com slash Kendall Rae once again zockdoc.com slash Kendall Rae. That night they drove to Nathan's house where they spoke with him and his mom Beth. However, it sounded at least initially like he had an alibi. He did admit to seeing Lauren that night.

He said that she was in her car and pulled up. They had a five minute very awkward conversation according to him. But that was it. She drove off and he hadn't seen her since. But his alibi and that story were about as strong as a twig because 48 hours later he was being arrested for murder. And that's because that following morning just before dawn, a cyclist was out taking a morning ride and they came across a gruesome discovery. Just five miles away from her home, Lauren Astley's body was discovered in a marsh. And when she was recovered from the water it was immediately clear what her cause of death was. And god it's just so brutal

at age 18 I hate even having to explain what happened to her it's obviously important but it's very upsetting. Lauren was found with a bungee cord around her neck and a gaping wound to her throat. Her body was immediately sent to the medical examiner's office where her father had to make the official identification which oh my god this just broke my heart to hear. There's an immediately sent to the medical examiner's office where her father had to make the official identification, which, oh my God, this just broke my heart to hear. There's an interview with him in an episode of 48 Hours and it chokes me up even thinking about it.

It is so, so sad seeing the pain on his face. I mean, that is something no parent should ever have to do. Identify your child's remains. it is just unimaginable. It's truly a responsibility that I would not wish on my worst enemy, but it was in fact, Lauren. He knew right away. 18 year old Lauren Dunn Astley had been strangled to death and stabbed multiple times by someone

who the police had already spoken to. And I know you all know who it was. That day investigators learned a lot more about Nathan Fujita and just what a massive toll the breakup had taken on him. He had not been the same since he had gone from this upbeat football player who was, you know, super popular, always hanging out with his friends, thriving social life to miserable, never leaving home. And a lot of people in his life were worried about him.

He had been drinking and smoking daily. He showed no excitement towards playing college football, which is something that he had dreamt of since he was a kid. And his mom, of course, had really picked up on this, knew something had to be really wrong. She had actually taken him to the psychiatrist. And what's crazy is his mom actually secretly visited Lauren at work and asked her if she could go and talk to her son, you know, maybe try and cheer him up, just try to have more of a civil conversation from like a friendly perspective. And while I do understand where she was coming from as a mother

myself obviously you want to do whatever you can to help cheer up your child especially when they're in such a dark place like that and I think bringing him to the psychiatrist was a great move for sure but I don't know I struggle with the fact that she asked Lauren to go and talk to him maybe she didn't know all the details of their relationship and how, I mean, I don't know. I just don't think it was Lauren's responsibility to ever do that.

And I'm sure his mother feels terrible about asking her to do that because she probably for sure never could have imagined how that meeting would end. And truth be told, Lauren was actually worried about him herself. I mean, I think she'd also really seen this change in him. And of course she, there was a part of her that still cared about him. As many people, even after you break up, you still have that part of you that

wants what's best for this person, even if they're not with you. And Lauren cared so much about others. I mean, I've talked about that already. And she wanted to help him. She definitely wasn't worried enough to get back together with him, but she was willing to go and talk to him. And again, it just shows what a kind person Lauren was. But sadly though, this act of kindness would actually get her killed.

That same surveillance footage from the local mall shows that on that evening around July 3rd, Lauren left work around 6 45 p.m. And in this footage, she can be seen talking on her phone and a quick search of the cell record show that she was talking to Nathan. Now, she never told anyone that she was planning to go and talk to Nathan, which I'm sure she didn't see the need to. I mean, she was planning to quickly run over to his place after work and talk to him quickly. I'm sure she was planning to keep it short and then go meet up with her friends. Lauren texted Nathan the word here at 705 to let him know that she'd arrived at his house. And sadly, this would end up being the last text she ever sent.

And knowing that his house was the last place that she ever made communication with anyone was enough to point investigators back in Nathan's direction. So on July 4th, investigators go back over to his house to speak with him. However, this time he's not there and his parents have no idea where he is. Luckily though, that didn't hinder

their investigation entirely because obviously they needed to now find evidence to corroborate their theory that Nathan was probably involved. So later that night, July 4th, they executed a search warrant on the Fujita home and they started their search in the garage and it only took them a few moments to realize

that something terrible had happened there. In addition to finding several bungee cords that matched the cord found around Lauren's neck, they also found several blood-stained splotches. Blood was found on the floor of the garage, a door handle, the floor of the kitchen, the kitchen sink, and the bathroom sink. They also found a gym bag, and inside that bag was a pair of muddy shoes and mud that matched the type of mud that was found by the marsh where Lauren's body was recovered. And if that weren't incriminating enough, they also found something extremely disturbing in the crawl space above Nathan's bedroom. Hidden up there was another pair of shoes, a pair of blood

soaked shoes and wet clothing. And obviously at this point, the evidence was pretty undeniable. And so the following morning, 18 year old Nathan Fujita was arrested and charged with the murder of 18 year old Lauren Astley. The crime lab confirmed that the blood found in his home was a match to Lauren and he was taken into custody without incident. It's been reported that he was quiet and compliant during his arrest at his aunt's house and said nothing during the process. And this sort of quiet compliance appears to be how Nathan acted for the next several months. And on August 23rd, he was seen in court for a plea hearing and in a voice hardly louder than a whisper,

Nathan ended up pleading not guilty. And this was to the charge of first degree murder as well as two counts of assault and battery with a dangerous weapon and assault and battery. And more details regarding Lauren's murder came to light during this hearing, including that additional wounds to her body were found, which were said to have occurred before her death.

And this is really, really bizarre. But on the night of the murder, it turns out Nathan had called up his cousin and asked her if she wanted to hang out. Now they didn't end up hanging out, she was busy or whatever, but the next day she sees him. And at that point,

the news of Lauren's murder had come to light and so she asks him about it and his response was chilling. He said they're never going to find the murder weapon there if that's what you mean and he also admitted to having driven Lauren's car down to the town beach parking lot and said that he had wanted to hang out with her, his cousin, that night because he needed to get his mind off of it. And at the end of this hearing, prosecuting attorney Lisa McGovern asked the judge

to hold Nathan without bail, and that request was granted. Then there was another hearing for pretrial motions, and that was held about a month before trial began, and some seriously interesting and disturbing information came to light. It turns out that back in 2009, Lauren and Nathan were on one of their, you know, off periods in their on and off relationship. And at one point she was at a dance and there was another boy who kissed her and Nathan threatened

to slit this kid's throat because of it. And so obviously in the eyes of the prosecutor and everyone, this showed the rage and jealousy that Nathan was capable of showing. And it's also, you know, exactly what ended up happening to Lauren. It was also made clear during this hearing that Nathan was possibly going to be using a not guilty by reason of insanity

defense and obviously the hopes of that is that even if he is found guilty that he will get a lesser sentence and that is exactly what ended up happening. Trial started for Nathan on February 13th 2013 and right off the bat it was clear they were going to be using the not guilty by reason of insanity defense. So let me just walk you through what the prosecution said happened and how the defense tried to counter it using the claim of insanity. Over the course of the three week trial, prosecuting attorney Lisa McGovern argued that Nathan purposely and deliberately murdered Lauren Astley

as a result of his inability to cope with the breakup. This was not a crime of passion, rather an intentional plot to end her life. On the day of her murder, Nathan had called the store where Lauren worked trying to get ahold of her. And he also called her cell phone three times. And we know that one of these calls was when she was seen

leaving work on surveillance video. While the prosecutor argued that Nathan lured her over to his house when he knew his parents would not be home and then brought her into his garage where the attack took place. And based on the autopsy report, Lauren did suffer more wounds than just the strangulation and the slit to her throat. She also had clear signs of defense wounds as well. From there, they argued that Nathan drove

her Jeep a quarter mile down the road to the parking lot where he abandoned it and then dumped her car keys in a storm drain, which were later recovered. After that, he went back home, put Lauren's body in his own car, and then drove to the marsh where he dumped and concealed her body. And a witness even saw Nathan driving back after doing that with his shirt off, windows down in his car, blaring music. And from there, the prosecution argued that Nathan took steps to clean the evidence, such as wiping up blood and hiding his wet

and bloodied clothes. This act alone, the cleaning up and hiding of evidence was proof of Nathan's guilty conscience, according to prosecutors. It was not, as the defense was trying to argue, a fleeting moment of psychosis. But of course that is exactly what the defense argued that it was throughout the course of the trial. Of course Nathan's defense team absolutely couldn't deny that he was in fact Lawrence Killer. I mean it's pretty obvious at

this point right? But they argued that he wasn't in his right mind when he did it. His attorney argued that he had slipped into a temporary psychotic episode, which was the result of several mental health conditions. For one, they argued that schizophrenia ran in the Fujita family, which they say may have partially contributed to the psychosis. They also argued that repeated head injuries

from playing football over his lifetime had an impact on his mental state. And lastly, and really the biggest thing they argued repeated head injuries from playing football over his lifetime had an impact on his mental state. And lastly, and really the biggest thing they argued was that Nathan was suffering from major clinical depression. A forensic psychiatrist that evaluated Nathan and took the stand for the defense said that based on their professional analysis, Nathan lacked the ability to know his actions were wrong.

Again, citing the major clinical depression, the repeated brain injuries from football, and also daily marijuana and alcohol use. And friends of Nathan even got up there and testified and said that he had just not been the same since the breakup, which just added to the idea that even people close to him recognized that he was in a depressed state. And because there had been no prior mention

of abuse in their relationship, the defense really tried to emphasize that this was a one-time lapse in character and that Nathan was not someone who could truly murder someone if he was in his right mind. They even brought up that Nathan had mentioned that he felt out of his body while the murder happened, almost like his brain was doing one thing and his body

was doing another. But all of these arguments were met with repeated attempts by the prosecution to show otherwise. And they had their own forensic psychiatrist evaluate Nathan and they testified for the prosecution and said that he absolutely was in his right mind when he killed Lauren. And in closing arguments, the prosecution reminded the jury that Nathan didn't just get a magical dose of psychosis from the psychosis fairy. The reality is Nathan lured Lauren over to his house,

he brutally attacked her and killed her, then took steps to conceal her body and then cleaned up the evidence or at least tried to. They argued that the amount of time and effort that it took to commit this crime was proof that he was consciously making decisions and understood the consequences of his actions. And the jury agreed.

On March 7th, Nathan was found guilty on all charges after one day of jury deliberation. And as you can imagine, this moment in the courtroom was so incredibly emotional for everyone. I mean, on one hand, this is an 18 year old and Nathan's parents are just so shocked and disturbed that their son could do something like this and was found guilty. Obviously, it's beyond upsetting for them as well. And also for Lauren's family, I mean, it's a total mix of emotions. I mean, she's finally getting justice,

but at the end of the day, she is gone. And then Lauren's dad did something that I don't think I've ever seen in all of my years covering true crime. And it was truly beautiful to me. He walked across the courtroom and gave was truly beautiful to me. He walked across the courtroom and gave Nathan's parents a hug. Malcolm said that he did that because he knew that both families had lost something that day and I just I

really think that shows so much strength of character that he was able to do that in that moment. Honestly I don't know what I would do in that situation. I normally don't even like to speculate or say how I would act if I were in these parents shoes, because obviously I'm not and I hope to never be, but I don't know if I would have the strength that he had. I mean, that is just, that just shows so much empathy. But yeah, I don't think that's something I've ever seen. And I thought it was a really interesting and powerful moment. Now when it came to Nathan's sentencing,

the state of Massachusetts has a mandatory sentence of life in prison without parole for those convicted of first degree murder. So that is what he ended up getting. But before that sentence was given to him, Lauren's parents gave a victim's impact statement and as you can imagine it was incredibly emotional. Lauren's mom Mary spoke about her daily life and how her days are no longer filled with being a mom but instead filled with a shock, grief, disorientation, unrest, and longing. And one thing that she said that just broke my heart is that she said

from this day forward she will never be called mom or mommy ever again. Oh it's so horrible. In her dad's statement he spoke a lot about needing to educate teens on the dangers of relationship violence and breakup violence. And it was incredibly powerful, to say the least. We do need to expand our efforts to understand what led to the deeply harmful and tragic act to take steps to identify needs, vulnerabilities and shortcomings in our young people, and to address them with determination, education, protection and caring so as to foster responsibility,

mutual respect, and safety, and thus prevent such acts in the future. And like I mentioned at the beginning of this episode, Lauren's parents have really made it their mission to educate other young people about the dangers of breakup violence. In the wake of their daughter's death, Malcolm and Mary have created the Lauren Dunn Astley Memorial Fund. This is a nonprofit that seeks to educate teens about the dangers of breakup violence and they promote healthy teenage relationships as well as support the arts and community service. Two things that were extremely important to Lauren. I think the work that her parents have done over the past 12 or 13 years has been really incredible to see and the more I looked into it the more impressed I was. Like I

said the term breakup violence I don't think is something we hear very often. It's not something I've thought that much about but it's such an important thing to discuss. Lauren's story is unfortunately a prime example of it and it is exactly what it sounds like. It's violence that occurs as the result of a breakup. And so to try and help combat this, the Lauren Dunn Astley Memorial Fund raises money to sponsor programs in schools so that kids across the country can learn about this phenomenon and how they can avoid it. Malcolm and Mary have done a ton of media appearances talking about their goals with their organization and they really emphasize the need for teens to have proper tools to

deal with the pain of a breakup. The parents of Lauren Dunn Astley are asking state lawmakers to support legislation that would mandate sexual education and violence prevention programs in Massachusetts schools. Their daughter's boyfriend of three years was convicted of killing Lauren after she tried to break up with him. Kids need a lot of training in what is one of the most painful parts of being human, and that is having an intimate relationship come to an end. We can provide them with support and tools and ways to cope with and to be

ready for the jolts of breaking up. And like I said, breakup violence is something that can affect someone at any age, but their mission is to really focus on the youth, giving them the tools to prepare themselves for what they could encounter in life. Because the reality is breakups are a part of life. It's very, very painful. I mean, anyone, I'm sure most of you out there have experienced a breakup at some point,

it can be devastating. But even though breakups are normally a part of everyone's life, violence doesn't have to be. And her parents have said that they have found a lot of strength in their mission to help others. That it's been, you know, very healing for them in a lot of ways. And I think it's really cool that even though they were divorced, that it's been very healing for them in a lot of ways.

And I think it's really cool that even though they were divorced, that they really came together on this for their daughter. It's beautiful. My talks with them try to focus on the need to prepare young people better for the terrible pain of breakups. When we think about it, it's the most painful, the most traumatic event that happens to young people, apart from the death of a loved one

or apart from violence in a neighborhood. But the breakup, if you talk with adults about it, you watch their postures droop, it's terribly painful. But we don't provide significant education about it, information about it. Kids have on an average of about eight breakups before things get serious, but they don't have knowledge about it. They're not prepared for it.

And we can do a lot better job. It's part of what our work is with the amendment. And Mary's message to teens is really to never go alone. And this is a really great piece of advice to keep in mind. She wants people to not go alone during the actual breakup or in Lauren's case going to see the person afterwards. These moments can create a lot of vulnerability and possibly a lot of danger if the person who was broken up with doesn't handle it well. What do you tell people? And I have to say because it was breakup violence, Lauren was not afraid of him.

And so my message always is do not go alone. If you are, you have to be in public if you're gonna go alone, especially if the other person hasn't wanted the breakup because she somewhat walked into it because she wasn't fearful of him. So to avoid it, I can say there were things that I saw, but really the one thing that probably

would have maybe prevented it was her not going alone that night. Malcolm himself has traveled all over the country to speak at schools and directly educate teenagers and share his daughter's story as a cautionary tale. There's a lot coming to light now about it, relationship violence of all kinds. And it's so good that women are starting to speak out about it and that boys and men are starting to step forward to join with women to deal with this very tough problem. What happened to Lauren is horrible, unimaginably horrible. But like I said, I don't

think anyone really saw the signs. And that's why education around breakup violence is so important. If people are equipped with better tools and knowledge when it comes to breaking up with someone, it could potentially save lives. And that's why this week I wanted to make a donation to their organization because I know they're going to put it to amazing use. And of course I'll have it linked in the description below if you're also interested in contributing. As a mother to a little girl myself,

this story has obviously been really difficult, but I feel it's important to know about. And I'm so grateful to their family for, you know, making this their mission and educating so many others. Cause I have learned a lot as well. And it's something that, you know, when my daughter is dating age, which, oh, don't even want to think about that.

But when she's there, I know I will have these discussions with her. And you know, many, most parents know to have the discussions regarding safety and drinking and sex education, you know, many, most parents know to have the discussions regarding safety and drinking and sex education, you know, all those things. But I think breakups and how to handle that is sometimes missed or not explained fully. And that's probably because we didn't get that education ourselves and there aren't that many tools available.

And that's why I think their organization is so vital. But before I wrap up this episode, there's one more thing I wanna share. And that's that I found a recent article from January of 2024 saying that the highest court in Massachusetts has overruled legislature that previously required everyone convicted of first degree murder to be given a sentence

of life in prison without parole, which as we know was the sentence given to Nathan because of the original state mandate. And this new ruling says that anyone under the age of 20 cannot be given a life sentence without the possibility of parole, even if they're convicted of first degree murder. And obviously the idea behind that

is that their brains are not fully developed. Now, Nathan was 20 when he was convicted and sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole and We haven't heard anything yet, but it's possible that him and others May be given the possibility of parole in the future. Now Lauren's mom is Understandably devastated by this ruling and doesn't understand why he would get to live his life if her daughter can no longer live hers. She said, I did think it's over when he was deemed guilty and sentenced, but that was completely naive. I don't see how if Lauren doesn't get to live her life, why he gets to live any life.

I don't want him dead. I don't believe in the death penalty, but he doesn't deserve to be outliving a regular life. Now I know that people have different opinions when it comes to things like this. So I definitely wanna hear your thoughts below. I'm very curious to see what comes of this and especially to see what ends up happening

with Nathan's case. Ultimately though, I'm just so sad for this family, especially now that things are kind of continuing on with this new ruling and just the fact that they have to forever live their lives without their daughter and think about all the things that she would have done and never had the chance to do because Nathan stole all of that away from her and from them. Lauren had so much more life to live.

I mean, she was just getting started only for it all to be cut short by someone who was so cold and so heartless. I just hope her parents know at the end of the day how much all the efforts that they are putting in are actually helping other people. It's truly admirable. That is going to be it for me today, guys. Thank you for joining me for another episode and make sure you follow the show on Spotify and Apple podcasts. It really does help me out. If you want to watch the video version of this show, you can find it on my YouTube channel, which will be linked, or you can just search Kendall Rae. I will

be back with another episode soon, but until then, stay safe out there.