True Crime with Kimbyr - 12-Year-Old Witnesses Life-Changing Night: The Tragic Case of Crystal Perry

Episode Date: November 27, 2024

In this episode of True Crime with Kimbyr, we delve into the haunting story of Crystal Perry, a woman shaped by a tumultuous childhood and a tragic end. Witness the fateful night through the eyes of her 12-year-old daughter, Sarah, who awoke to terrifying sounds that would forever change their lives. From Crystal’s humble beginnings in rural Maine to the shocking events that led to her death, this case explores a family's dark secrets and resilience. Join Kimbyrleigha as she unravels this chilling tale with her signature blend of empathy and meticulous research. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A 12-year-old little girl named Sarah woke up in the middle of the night, and she heard sounds of her mother fighting with someone. She sat frozen next to her bedroom door as she heard her mother scream again and again. Then there was some kind of commotion, a knife being pulled out of a drawer, and then silence. When Sarah finally felt safe enough to leave her bedroom, what she found changed the course of her entire life forever. This is her story. Welcome back to my channel. My name is Kimberly Leah. If you've never been here before, it's nice to finally meet you. There are going to be many people in this story, but don't worry.

The two most important people you will have to keep track of and remember are Crystal and Sarah. But in order to understand who they are, we have to go back and learn about their family where they came from. Some people get a little annoyed when there's too many names. I can't help that. But I will do my best to make sure I keep you on track. Today I'm going to be telling you the story of Crystal K. Farnham Perry. Crystal was born in a small town called Rumford in Oxford, Maine on August 23rd of 1963. Her parents were Howard, Farnham, and Grace Bartlett. Crystal was part of a large family with a long, complex history, and you know if you've been here,

that's what I love to talk about when I do these cases. But before I dive into her life, I want to introduce you to the matriarch of the family, Crystal's mother, Grace. She was known by everyone as Gracie. She was born April 3rd of 1919. She grew up in Newry, Maine, outside of Bethel, about 30 minutes south of Rumford. And I am doing my very best with these pronunciations.

If I make a mistake, kindly let me know in the comments, because it's important that I know. Rumford had a population of 7,000. Bethel had a population of 2,500, and Newry had a whopping population of just 300 people. These are all rural communities in the mountainous region, southwest, White Mountain National Forest and wow, these towns are stunning.

In the fall of the trees in Maine turned beautiful reds and oranges and there's tons of rivers and waterfalls and hiking trails. I've never been there, but I feel like I'm missing out. Right now I'm just vicariously living through my research. By the 1900s, rural southwestern Maine was known for its farming, manufacturing, and logging opportunities, and Rumford had a huge paper mill. Bethel was known for its shoemaking and masonry jobs. Gracie grew up in a community and a time where you had to work hard for what you had, and everyone knew everyone else.

It's easy to foster close-knit relationships, and it's also easy for rumors to spread. Gracie had six sisters and five brothers, so they grew up having to take care of each other, and Gracie was the primary person looking out for herself. When she was only 17, a month and a half away from her 18th birthday, she got married to a 23-year-old man. He was a cook named Raymond M. Bartlett. She and Ray moved in together, and they were very much in love at the time. But they had their fights as well. Sometimes their personalities just clashed.

Gracie was very particular about the way she organized her home. Perhaps you might call it a little OCD nowadays, but she really loved to have things in order and enjoyed interior decorating, gardening, and listening to music. She actually sounds like someone that I could be friends with. But Gracie especially loved to go out and dance. She liked to let loose. She was pretty, and when she went out, she would catch men's eyes, which sometimes caused Ray to become jealous. Together, they had one child named Keith before Ray left for the Navy.

While he supported his family, Gracie took care of their son and continued to enjoy all of her hobbies, including going out on the town while her husband was far away. And eventually, a rumor spread around town that she was cheating on Ray. And his parents believed this rumor, and they convinced him to get a divorce. So Gracie, sadly, ended up moving back home to New Remain. She lived with her parents for a couple years, and during this time, she had her son Richard. And her parents actually suggested that she put him up for adoption since Gracie didn't have a way to provide for him. And that's hard, especially in those times and the way people would end up judging women

who weren't married. They would judge them pretty harshly if they had a child out of wedlock. Gracie's neighbors stepped up, and they eventually raised Richard, and he, he later ended up becoming the local milkman. But Gracie soon met another man named Howard Farnham, who was in the army. They got married and moved in together just outside of Rumford. She spent the next years of her life as a stay-at-home mom and had 10 children with Howard. Yes, 10.

You don't have to remember these people, but you will hear about a few of them. Her son's names were Wendell, Wayne, Webster, and Walter. They really went all in with the W-names. and her daughters were Betty, Carol, Gloria, Glynnees, Loretta, who went by Tootsie, Gwendolyn, and Crystal. Remember, I told you, Crystal is important because this is her story and her family. Sadly, when Gracie was pregnant, she actually miscarried Walter,

so she lost that child, which was very traumatic for her. In the 1950s, attitudes were slowly beginning to change to understand what a miscarriage was, and that it wasn't a woman's fault. But a lot of people either didn't know this or they still held the belief that a woman was responsible. Even the name miscarriage makes it sound like a woman made a mistake. So back then, Howard blamed Gracie for the miscarriage,

and he took it out on her violently. Having a miscarriage is already devastating enough. But to be hit by your husband because of it is just really sad. Howard was a nasty person. He was aggressive, he was an alcoholic, and he spent most of his life in a woman. of his life in and out of jail. He and his friends would go around the town just terrorizing people, committing petty theft and robberies. Not only did he hit his own wife, he went to prison

for five years for forcing himself on one of his own daughters. Yet Gracie continued to visit him in prison. It was hard being a single mom. And once he got out, Gracie got pregnant with Crystal, her final child, who this case is about. And she gave birth to Crystal K when she was 44 years old, and that's pretty impressive, since today 44 is considered high risk. Even after 35, it's harder. I'm telling you all of this backstory because I want you to understand the environment that Crystal was raised in, a community affected by rampant misogyny and domestic altercations. For Crystal's mom, Gracie, she was used to men controlling every aspect of her life. Fighting was the norm, and she herself would end up picking fights and rebel against her husband Howard. She

She continued to go out to bars every Friday night, often meeting up with her ex-husband, Ray. She and Howard finally decided to get a divorce when Crystal was only five years old, and very quickly, she remarried her ex-husband, Ray Bartlett. And I don't know if you remember, but Ray was also a controlling alcoholic, but he wasn't as bad as Howard, so she sort of did trade up. But Ray did not like children. That would be a red flag and a hard no for most women who already have children or

or want them in the future. And remember, Gracie had 10. One was from Ray, back when they were married, that was Keith, and nine were Howards. Crystal grew up surrounded by her siblings in a tiny farmhouse with not enough beds for everyone, with not enough space, and not enough food. And the kids would usually share a bed or go to a friend's house for sleepover. By the time the kids reached high school, many of them left home to escape the toxic environment they were living in.

Crystal's primary caretaker was actually her older sister, Glenys. When Crystal and Gwen, the two youngest were toddlers, Glenys was 12 years old. She was the one worried about them like a mother would be, even though they were her younger sisters. When the little ones went roaming around the yard, Glenys was there to save them. Gwen almost drowned in the creek once.

And when someone got injured while running around in nature unsupervised, Glenys had to learn first aid and take care of cuts and wounds by herself. Gracie was just too overwhelmed. I mean, it was a bad situation for everyone. I'm not sure for her. if Gracie wanted as many kids as she had at that point, especially since she's living with a man who doesn't want kids, or if she honestly just didn't know how to handle everything. Horiglunice finally became too overwhelmed by how much she had to do for her sisters.

She left home at the age of 14 knowing the only way to graduate would be to prioritize herself first. Crystal was left alone with her sister Gwen. Crystal, she was a sweet and fiercely energetic child, and she learned to survive by escaping. She would spend her days biking around town and swimming with Gwen, and both of them had fiery carrot red hair. People actually assumed they were twins because they were close in age. And it's true, sometimes they fought as sisters do, but they always looked out for one another at school and when they were at home. And they avoided Ray's control as much as possible.

He never got physical with the kids, but he did have ridiculous rules. Like they couldn't eat in the kitchen and they were only allowed to take baths. And they had to be quiet. at all times. So Crystal got out of the house as much as possible. And she excelled in school. She was naturally charismatic and she met her best friend Linda when they were only eight years old and they spent a lot of time together as much as possible. Their birthdays were only six days apart so they would even celebrate every year together. Linda was one of those fun social friends that would drag you out to all the parties and by the time Crystal reached high school they were going out every weekend and having the time of their lives.

Crystal loved music and dancing just like her mom. She was one of the baton twirlers in her high school band, and she loved a good house party so she could let loose and just lose herself in the music and new people that she was meeting. Crystal was out one of these house parties when she met her future husband, Tom Perry. She was only 15, and Tom was 18, and he even had a girlfriend at the time.

But the moment he locked eyes with Crystal, he knew she was the one. He walked up from across the first. and started talking to her. Not only was Crystal dropped-deggorgeous, she was smart, funny, and easy to talk to. Crystal was super impressed by Tom's confidence. He was charming, good-looking, and a hard worker. And they were instantly smitten. Tom ended up breaking up with his girlfriend so he could start going on dates with Crystal. I wanted to note, where I live here in California and some other states, it's actually illegal for an 18-year-old and a 15-year-old to be together,

since 18 is the age of consent. But in small town, Maine, in the 70s, this was legal, and it happened a lot. But I know that things were a lot different back then. Plus, Crystal was in such a toxic environment. And once she and Tom started dating, it was a perfect chance for her to escape her own house and be able to focus on her schoolwork. Tom had a trailer of his own, and she moved all of her stuff in with him. Well, her mom, Gracie, was not a fan.

She didn't condone this. This was her baby, her youngest child. She was so stressed out about Crystal being so young, but she was mostly worried about what the town would think about her. And she wondered if Crystal and Tom were having sex together. Gracie made a huge deal about Crystal, quote, living in sin, end quote. But Crystal was adamant that living with Tom was the best decision for her so that she could graduate and land a good job. Tom ended up going over Gracie and Ray's house and telling them that he didn't want to live in sin. He wanted to marry Crystal.

Well, this upset Gracie even more. Her daughter was so young. She didn't want Crystal out of the house, even though it was a bad environment. But Ray, he gladly took over the paperwork to make it happen. I can think of a few reasons why he would marry off a 15-year-old girl, and all of them are cold and selfish. Maybe he didn't want another mouth to feed,

or maybe he made some sort of deal with Tom. I don't know. I just know, I don't like him very much from my little. that have gathered. His intentions didn't seem very good. But it's what Crystal wanted to. She and Tom got married in Harris and Maine. This is about 45 minutes away from Bethel, immediately outside the town of Bridgeton. Now, Bridgeton had a population of about 4,500 people, and this is where Crystal lived most of her life. It's a town with one traffic light, no joke, and only several local businesses, and a huge shoe factory. The town is touristy,

in the summer because it's near Pleasant Mountain, which has a ski resort. In the wintertime, you can see the mountains trails that spell out the word love. It's very romantic. The town is also where Stephen King said his novel, The Mist. It can get very spooky in those woods, but it's unique and a beautiful area. Christel got married on June 20th, 1979, and a tiny chapel. The only witnesses were Tom's brother and one of his friends. Just married and in love, Crystal and Tom decided to together that they were going to move out to California to make a new life for themselves. Gwen, of course, was pretty disappointed when she heard the news that her sister would be leaving. They had discussed going to Bridgeton Academy together, but Crystal was ready for something new.

She had grown up in the same town, around the same people, and this was her first chance to be anonymous and live her life on her own terms. It sounds pretty exciting. So they packed up and they drove all the way across the country in one day, in one straight line to a tiny town called Brownsville in California with a population of only about a thousand people. I'd never even heard of this area. Tom's parents actually lived over there and he did not warn them he was coming. He thought if he knocked on the door hoping for work, they wouldn't say no. It kind of reminds me of asking for forgiveness instead of permission, but Tom's dad had plenty of connections, so he was glad to set Tom up with a job servicing trucks in Marysville. Now that area was bigger and more populated with about 12,000 people,

and there Crystal studied hard to get her JD. She was so successful that the high school offered her a job as an assistant teacher at the age of just 17. But Crystal hated the bigger city. It just wasn't her vibe. She liked living in a more simple area with a simple life where she could deeply connect with the people around her and not have to worry about crime and her safety. The couple eventually moved back to Brownsville, California, close to Tom's parents, where Tom worked as a mechanic, and Crystal worked part-time at a cafe. She didn't have her driver's license at the time, so she got a bit stir-crazy. Tom was starting to go to bars and drink all night and stay out really late. So Crystal eventually told him she was homesick, and they

decided they would move back to Bridgeton, Maine. So just after a year and a half of living in California, Crystal returned to her family and friends. You never know what you have until you leave sometimes. And she quickly landed a job at Bridgeton-Scebago shoe shop, which is also known as Pleasant Mountain Mocococrystal was so detail-oriented, and she worked really hard. Her job was actually to stitch shoes together, especially loafers and boating shoes. She was a natural. She had strong hands and very precise movements.

She and the other women in the shop, including her friend Penny, who worked right across from her, they would race to see who could complete the shoes the fastest. The average person could do about five bins of shoes a day, and Crystal, she did six. So from 6 a.m. to 4.30 p.m. Monday through Friday, Crystal sewed shoes. The work was exhausting, as you can probably imagine, and it was easier to sew shoes while standing up. So over time, sadly, Crystal started to develop carpal tunnel. But she loved being able to provide for herself, and she found a strong sense of community at this shop. When Crystal finally turned 18, she found out that she was pregnant and she was so overjoyed, but she started

to grow a little concerned about her living situation. Tom was working a lot, but he was doing a bunch of odd jobs. He was mainly a mechanic, but he dabbled in construction and carpentry work. And then every evening, he would go out to his favorite bar, sulkeys, and he would drink all nights. He just loved to party a lot. When Crystal told him she was pregnant, and he was so thrilled because he loved children, and he was determined to clean up his act. But unfortunately, Tom struggled to stay sober, and he just went back to his old ways.

Alcoholism is no joke. And it actually breaks my heart that Tom couldn't get it together to be there for Crystal when she needed him the most. He continued going out every night and leaving his wife at home. Crystal gave birth to a beautiful baby girl named Sarah, the other person you're definitely going to have to know in this case, and Crystal was the best mom.

She tried her best to break the cycle of her own childhood trauma and truly provide for her child. Now, she didn't have many options when it came to daycare, so she did have to rely on her mother Gracie to help out. In the mornings, Crystal brought Sarah over to Gracie's house, and then after work, she'd pick Sarah up and played with her all night. Crystal would make dinner. They would watch TV together, they would dance,

and they would read. Some of Sarah's earliest memories are sitting on the couch in the evenings with Crystal, while she threaded her needles for work the next day. Now, I love learning about these things, and I learned a little about the process, and I thought it was really cool. It's called waxing.

Basically, you cut all the threads the same length and take a ball of soft wax and run it over the ragged edges of the thread so that it makes threading the needle easier. I didn't know. Now I know. Now this was a routine that Crystal and Sarah did together every night for years. Unfortunately, Tom, he was rarely home,

and he's drinking horrified and frustrated Crystal. He was becoming violent and aggressive, and he would spend large amounts of money going out. One time Crystal even asked him to please set aside some money for groceries, and when she got home from work, she saw that he spent all of their money on, you guessed it, sulky's. His favorite bar, so she actually went down there and confronted him. They got in a fight, and Crystal ended up punching him in the face,

not saying it's right, but this woman was at her wits' end. They were having loud arguments every single night, and Crystal's anger would often get the best of her. Eventually, Crystal gave up on waiting for Tom to get it together. She filed for divorce, and Tom didn't even show up to court. For years, Crystal would talk about how much of a bad husband he was. But she did choose to keep his last name, because I'm sure a part of Crystal still loved him.

They had spent many years together, And he was still the charming, good-looking, motorcycle-obsessed Tom that she always knew, but he just had fundamental flaws. It is hard when you love someone. You love the person, but you don't love the addiction. For some time, Crystal made an effort to keep Tom in her daughter Sarah's life, at least so she could have a father figure around. And Tom did make an effort as well.

He would take Sarah for ice cream. He would buy her presents. But he rarely paid his child support. And since he worked those ups, jobs mostly for cash, he didn't report the money that he earned to the state. And then, even worse, he moved in with a woman named Teresa who also had substance issues of her own and she was violent and jealous. She didn't like the fact that Tom had been married to Crystal and that they had a kid together. So Teresa ended up harassing Crystal

for years. This was not something to take lightly. I'm talking about she sent her death threats over the phone. She would come up and fight her in bars, I mean, she got physical. It really wasn't a good situation. And Crystal was afraid that her daughter might now come in contact with Teresa if she was over at her dad's. So she had a heart-to-heart with Sarah, and she asked if she really wanted to keep seeing her father. And by that time, Crystal was dating a new guy, someone that Sarah thought of as a dad, a father figure. So Sarah said it didn't really matter whether she stayed in touch with her biological father or not.

So the rest of her childhood, Sarah would just see Tom around town. but she didn't really, truly connect with him until she was an adult. So let me tell you about Crystal's new boyfriend. His name was Dale Morton. They net at a bar, and I won't judge, because honestly, there weren't too many places to meet someone in such a small town. But Dale was calm. He was laid back at first.

Crystal moved into his house, which they collectively referred to as the dump, because poor Dale didn't have much money coming in, and he'd gotten a back injury because of a construction job, so he wasn't currently working either. The house was a mess. He spent most of his days gardening and fishing and waiting for a settlement check to come in.

Eventually that check did come in from his former employer and he was able to buy a new house and that was good. Living with Dale, Crystal was able to actually buy her first car. It was a cute black Ford Tempo and it gave her the freedom to visit her family and really start to enjoy herself. I always ask questions in these videos because I want to get to know you.

what was your first car? Mine was my grandma's black Thunderbird. Crystal and Sarah would go on long drives together, and Crystal would do what they would refer to as a car dance, which is basically jamming out to music and embarrassing the heck out of her daughter. She would also quiz Sarah to make sure she knew all the cool songs and bands.

This makes me miss my own mom. Sometimes the two of them would go on road trips to Portland, Maine, to collect sand dollars at the beach. Other times, Crystal drove all the way to Boston to visit her sister, Glenys, and see museums there. Crystal finally felt that she had the independence she always dreamed of, and that was awesome. It's so crazy what just having a vehicle a means to get around can do for someone. Sarah was thrilled to be living with her mom's new boyfriend, Dale, and having him as a father figure.

He taught her about all types of trees, how to ice fish, and even though he didn't really like to be called dad, Dale tried to be there for Sarah, but he had his own issues. He was growing illegal drugs down in the basement. And he would turn them into pills and then sell them. And Crystal started getting really concerned that he was going to get caught. The grow lights in the basement made their electricity bill very high, so it was kind of obvious that he had an undercover operation going on. And Crystal was afraid that the government would find out,

and they would take Sarah away from her. And just like in the past with other men, they started to fight. Crystal and Dale began having these loud screaming matches, and it was always in the kitchen. Why is that? But that wasn't the only place they got in fights. They even got into a fight at a bar. Crystal was upset that night, and she began drinking. She ended up taking out her anger she had about Dale by going home with another man. And when Dale found out, he accused her of sleeping with somebody else. So he made her go to rehab for alcohol issues, even though Crystal did not have a drinking problem. She knew she made a mistake, and she

regretted that. But she didn't do it because she drank too much. She did it because she was upset. Unfortunately, this event fundamentally changed her and Dale's relationship, and he became increasingly violent towards her. And over time, all of the thrown plates and the punched walls, it became too much. Crystal moved herself and Sarah back into her mother's house. At this point, It would have been about 1992 at the time. Sarah was 10. Crystal was 28. And her mother's husband, Ray, remember him?

He didn't like kids. He died in 1989, so he wasn't around anymore. And Gracie thrived as a widow. Now, she could do things on her terms. Keep her house exactly the way that she wanted it. She painted all the walls, orchid purple, and arranged the towels and everything just the way she liked. Crystal moving in with her mom was a lot.

I think anyone that has to move in with their parents at 28 is hard. I know I love my relatives, but sometimes personalities just clash. I moved into my mom's when I was 29 and just had my daughter. I'm actually glad she was there for me when no one else was. And with Gracie, even though she gave her daughter a place to stay and she loved her deep down, she was a controlling and critical parent. She would scrutinize everything down to Crystal's outfits. And she would get mad at her for the littlest things,

like adjusting the heat by just a couple degrees, or forgetting to replace the water in the refrigerator water jug. She criticized Crystal for even getting into a relationship with Dale, but then she also criticized her for ruining the relationship with Dale because she now had to move into her house. It was its own form of abuse, and it was really hard for Crystal and Sarah to live in that environment. They were finally relieved when Crystal was able to save enough money

and get a government check to buy a home of her own. The new home was in Bridgeton, on Route 93, which was regularly used as a logging road. It was a single-family ranch-style home painted black and white. It was in a pretty isolated wooded area, though. At 135, Sweden Road, and when the developers put in this house, they ripped out most of the trees. And then they just replanted two smaller ones along the front entrance, so without trees covering everything, Crystal and Sarah actually felt a little exposed.

You can see what the trees look like on the road right past their driveway, with With many of them removed, they thought, who knows if some random person could be looking at them from the street. But since this was kind of a remote area, they weren't too worried. However, being remote causes other fears. If anything happened to them, it would be hard for them to get help. It was a five-minute walk to the nearest neighbor's home. And with all the death threats that Crystal was getting from Teresa over the phone and elsewhere,

Crystal was cautious. She always made sure to lock and double bolt the door. But this house was an absolute dream for them. It was true independence, and together, Crystal and Sarah made a little life for themselves. They spent a lot of time outside going on long walks along the road and buying a birdhouse for their yard. Crystal had freckles from spending so much time outside, and now that she was older, her hair had turned into this beautiful, dark red Auburn color. She wore blue eyeliner every day, which made her blue eyes pop even more. And she was really into fashion.

She loved wearing those big white cuffed shirts, floral dresses, sunglasses, sunglasses, and flashy necklaces, Crystal liked wearing nice jewelry and really pretty perfume and going out and getting a perm. This home was Crystal's oasis, where she could really finally practice some self-care and be the best mom possible. Since Crystal was so young, people would actually mistake her and Sarah for sisters instead of mother and daughter. Sarah said they were like sisters too. They hung out all the time at the mall, they went to the movies together. They liked to go pick out a VHS tape, get some dinner at House of Pizza, which was only a five-minute drive off Main Street, where all the shops and restaurants are in Bridgeton. And then the two of them would watch a scary movie. Their favorites were The Shining and Children of the Corn, and every year they dressed up for Halloween.

Sarah as a pirate and Crystal as a vampire, Crystal actually loved true crime. She had books on Ted Bundy and the Mansons, even though she didn't let Sarah read them because they were too graphic in her opinion. On Thursday nights, they watched Seinfeld together. On Saturday mornings, Crystal cooked pancakes and bacon while Sarah watched Garfield. And every night, Crystal sang to Sarah and tucked her into bed. She truly sounds like a super mom.

And Sarah was quoted saying that she always knew that she was loved. And I want to thank Sarah so much for really capturing her life in her book after the eclipse, which I'm linking below in the description box, because it's where I got a lot of this information. It is such a beautiful and heart-wrenching novel. Crystal was absolutely full of life and super down earth. She was not religious, but she was spiritual, and she really enjoyed pulling cards from her deck of tarot cards.

She appreciated the small things and the little moment she shared with her loved ones. She was the closest with her sisters Gwen and Glenys. And everything's giving and Christmas and summer she would spend with them. She also spent a lot of time with her mom, Gracie, and at that point she couldn't drive, so Crystal would go over there and pick her up and take her shopping. Even though her mom never told Crystal how much she appreciated those trips, because that just wasn't the type of person she was. She did tell others that Crystal being around made her feel a lot less lonely.

Crystal was just that kind of person. She was generous, loyal, and devoted to her family. The only thing that weighed on her was a struggle to find a loving, supportive partner. She had grown up with a ton of misogynistic jerks, and she was just a struggle. unlucky. I mean, when you live in such a small town, it's really slim pickings. Even though Crystal was such a catch, it's sad. And this took an extreme toll on her mental health. She had anxiety and she had self-esteem issues. When Crystal turned 29, she started to go to a therapist so she could talk about her thoughts of self-harm. And it was that bad. I feel so bad for Crystal.

She told her therapist she just felt unable to do anything by herself. And I think it is important to take yourself on dates. I wish Crystal would have been able to do that for herself. She was spontaneous, hardworking, energetic, mischievous, kind, the whole package. She just kept finding men that refused to treat her like a queen, and it affected her self-worth. The next guy she met was Tim. He was a younger guy in his early 20s, and it was a long-distance relationship. They actually met through mutual friends, and Tim, he just wasn't ready to settle down. There's always something. He was still in school to become an electrician, and he didn't want to get married until he landed a steady job, which is reasonable.

Also, he had some baggage. His ex-girlfriend cheated on him, so he had major trust issues, and he told Crystal he would never be able to tell her that he loved her. I mean, at least he's being honest, but at the same time, it can be seen as pretty cruel, not giving Crystal a chance because of his past. But it was never meant to be. Crystal wanted a stable partner who she could marry and have another child with. She dreamed. to being able to give Sarah a little brother. She was so happy when she met Tim, but they would have these intense fights

because they just didn't see eye to eye in their relationship and they ended up breaking up. But it was kind of an on-and-off again relationship that took a little time to actually burn out. That year in 1992, Crystal was still working full-time at the shoe shop when a new guy started working there. He was even younger than Tim.

He was 19. He was tall, thin, and handsome. He had bright blue, blue, bright blue eyes, and she liked that he wore an earring. I get it, a little edgy. I can see the appeal. His name was Dennis, but he went by Denny, and he worked with the machines. But he was known for throwing tantrums every day at these machines, which eventually got him fired. When they met, Crystal was still dating Tim, and Dennis was actually married. But they started hanging out just as friends, and Dennis would do little things for Crystal like fix her car or work on other things at her

house. They flirted, but nothing actually happened until Dennis' wife cheated on him, and the two of them got a divorce. Crystal and Dennis got together after that, and Dennis adored Crystal. He came over every Wednesday and Saturday night, and he proposed to her on several occasions, but she was like, I can't take this seriously. If it's for real, I need to see a ring. But as amazing Dennis seemed to be, he also had a temper. Why? I was hoping that he would be different. And they too, started having fights regularly. Now, Dennis did buy that ring, and you planned to propose a Crystal on her 30th birthday, but that night, instead of sliding a ring on her finger, they got into an explosive argument. It went so far that both of them were just screaming and throwing things.

They slipped into a toxic routine, and this just kept happening in Crystal's life over and over again with every man. Dennis actually broke the siding of the house. He punched the walls in, and he even totaled his truck after they got in an argument. He was controlling. He would convince Crystal to do things like cut off her beautiful red hair and make it really short and more masculine. And that is a huge sign of an emotional control over someone and of jealousy. Controlling someone's hair like that, a lot of time abusers use this as a way to diminish

their partner's self-worth. And poor Crystal, she had already been through so much of that time before meeting Dennis. Now Sarah was 11. And everything she saw was pretty normal to her. She thought Denny was just being Denny. She didn't really consider him violent. He just threw tantrums, adult ones. But keep in mind, Sarah had seen her mom get in fights

with Tom and Dale and Tim and now Dennis. So this is sadly what she thought relationships looked like, and so did I for so very long, and I'm so sorry for anyone that has experienced this. Crystal knew their relationship wasn't 100% healthy, but they still had feelings for one another. Dennis loved to talk about the future, and he promised to build Sarah a tree house,

and the three of them would go on long walks and drives together, just enjoying each other's company. Now, Dennis did eventually propose to Crystal, and she said yes. But in therapy, Crystal talked about her relationship with Dennis and how it affected her mental health. At her sessions, she discussed how to set boundaries with Dennis. If they were to really get married, their fights could not be so explosive.

It just wasn't fair to her or to Sarah. If he didn't get his act together, there were other fish in the sea, even though the sea is kind of small where she is. But being alone is sometimes better when you're in this toxic environment. Sarah said this about her mom, quote,

in her romantic selections, she could have done better, and she could have done worse, end quote. Crystal did everything in her power to make a great life for her daughter. for her daughter and to find the love that she herself deserved. On Tuesday, May 10th, 1994, 30-year-old Crystal,

and 12-year-old Sarah witnessed a solar eclipse together. They always bonded over big weather events like that, and together they watched the moon partially cover the sun, marveling at how cool it was just to be alive. They had no idea what was ahead of them. Just like the moon had covered the sun and brought darkness to the earth, a blanket of darkness was a blanket of darkness

was about to come over their lives.