True Crime with Kimbyr - Part 1: Mother of 4 Stabbed During School Drop-Off: The Aliny Godhino Tragedy

Episode Date: October 20, 2025

Why would someone murder a mother of four during the most ordinary part of her day? In this chilling episode of True Crime with Kimbyr, Kimbyrleigha unravels the shocking story of Aliny Godhino, brutally stabbed in front of her child during school drop-off. Explore the circumstances, possible motives, and the emotional impact on her family and community. With detailed research and a compassionate approach, True Crime with Kimbyr examines the human stories behind the headlines, uncovering the mystery, betrayal, and tragedy that turned an everyday morning into a nightmare. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sometimes there are cases that are so evil and twisted, ones that don't make sense to those of us that are compassionate, loving people with a conscience. But there are monsters walking among us that seem to lack even the slightest bit of humanity. This is one of those stories. It will leave you asking why and questioning whether you can truly know anyone, because some humans have truly evil minds. You know that feeling? when you're being watched. Like a sixth sense, it's the prickling on the back of your neck. It's that uneasy feeling that tells you that something is not right.

Sometimes it's just a feeling, but imagine that this time it's not just paranoia. I imagine it's a real and that you know exactly who is watching you. And that person isn't just anyone. It's someone that you thought you could trust. Someone you thought cared about you. It was a chilly winter afternoon on January 8th of. of 2019 on the quiet streets in Stonle, an affluent area in the United Kingdom.

The day seemed peaceful, normal. Parents waited patiently outside the local primary school, chatting about their plans for the evening, scrolling through their phones. The routine was ordinary. But when no one knew, what no one saw coming, was that in mere moments, the calm would shatter. A mother's screams would echo through that entire neighborhood

and into everyone's nightmares. It was something they would undoubtedly play over and over again for years to come. That mother and her young daughter can be seen on this CCTV footage, getting on the local transit bus, cuddling up together on that cold day, and that poor little girl couldn't have known that moments after they step off that bus, she would have to grow up without her mother. This was the last moment of 39-year-old mother of four Alini Godinio's life, and it only took seven years.

took 17 seconds. 17 seconds to destroy everything. And worst of all, it could have been prevented. Hi everyone, welcome back to my channel. And if you've never been here before, I am Kimberlea. It's nice to finally meet you. Don't forget to subscribe and like this video if you haven't done so already. By the way, it's the countdown to my wedding and I will be sharing all the updates soon on my other channel, actually us. And I'm actually already married, but we never got to have our ceremony because I got pregnant. but I've been diligently working out now, trying to stick to my goals for 2025, especially when it comes to just staying fit and healthy. And one thing that I have been sticking to every single day for at least the past few months,

because it's so easy, is taking Groon's because they are kindly our sponsor for today, so I want to tell you about them. Now, I've shared Grooons with all of you before, and they're still part of my daily routine. And it's an easy and delicious routine to stick to you because grunes are these little cute, cute gummy vitamins that are designed to provide comprehensive daily nutrition. I started taking grunes, gummies because I did the research, and most supplements fall short. Basic multivitamins are limited. Greens powders, they're messy, and I honestly hated the taste. And probiotics are only a part of the puzzle, but grunes is all of those things and more packed into just eight

delicious gummies a day. And they actually do taste good. I promise. They're like a fruit snack. Not only has it completely simplified my routine, but it's also a fraction of the price of buying everything separately. And you might be wondering, Kimber, why are there eight gummies? While cramming 20 plus vitamins and minerals and 60 plus whole food ingredients into just one gummy is not realistic. Generic multivitamins only contain around 7 to 9 vitamins. Grooens delivers a powerhouse formula without any of the fillers. No artificial colors or flavors. And they're vegan, nut free, gluten-free, dairy-free, and low-sugar or sugar-free.

and I have the sugar-free option, and they're also made with pectin, which is from fruit, not gelatin, which contain animal byproducts. They're also eligible for reimbursement through your HSA or your FSA, and now they have Grooons Kids with the same all-in-one comprehensive nutrition with over 21 essential vitamins for development and over 60 whole-food ingredients that help support immunity, brain development, and developmental growth. With Grunes, you'll start noticing that within the first 30 days, you'll have better digestion, more regular bathroom trips, fewer snack cravings, and way more steady energy throughout your day. Grooans is loaded with prebiotics, essential vitamins, and minerals, plus adaptogens that

help support everything from your gut health, your immune system, to your stress levels, and your overall cellular function. It's like giving your body the tools it needs to actually feel good every day. And at the end of the day, Grooons isn't just another supplement. It's a smarter way to nourish your body. One daily pack, no guesswork and the taste that you'll actually look forward to. So if you're ready to feel the difference, try Grooons today. You can get up to 52% off. Just click my link below in the description box and thank you so much to Grooons for sponsoring yet another one of my videos. Now some cases that I cover on this channel really stick with me. Not because they're the most shocking

or the most brutal, but because they make you stop and think, how did this happen? How does someone who does everything right, reaches out for help, tells people what's going on, follows every piece of of advice still end up dead. This is another video in my evil mind series and I know some of you maybe like, what's the difference? And I get it. But these cases aren't so much a mystery, like some of the other ones I cover, where you won't know who did it until the end, because let's face it, these cases, these evil minds cases examine murders that are so evil, they actually make you question everything you thought you knew. What makes Alini's story so devastating is that she wasn't silent. She wasn't in denial. She knew exactly what kind of danger she was in, and she fought so hard

to protect herself and her children. She went to the police. She told them what was going on, that her stalker was threatening her, and it was escalating. He was tracking her every move. She did everything a person's supposed to do when they're trying to escape, so what went wrong? How does this happen, and when will it stop? And that is why this case is so terrifying. It will make you angry and it will make you sad. But there's something. I found out that might shock you. Half of all women that are murdered have been killed by a partner. Just let that sink in. We hear these things over and over again, but just think about that for a moment. Half of all women that are murdered have been killed by a partner. Now, I know it's seen as disrespectful

when someone immediately says, the husband did it when a woman is murdered, but statistically, that's the first place police will look because of what I just told you. Nine months ago, I was pregnant and while Googling every possible ailment or symptom that I was going through, I stumbled upon the heartbreaking truth that the leading cause of death for pregnant women in the United States is homicide. This exceeds deaths related to actual health concerns and giving birth. So you are more likely to be murdered than face those health concerns when you are pregnant and that is just heartbreaking. And then just yesterday while scrolling through Facebook, I stumbled upon a video of a pregnant woman, she's showing off her belly, and the text on the screen said, people asked me why I left him,

here's your answer. And then she showed the rest of that video. It's a short video where her partner took a knife and thrusted it within millimeters of her stomach. And some people in the comments said, oh, he was just joking. Jokes are supposed to be funny. And there's nothing funny about a man pretending to kill a woman and her unborn child, especially with the statistics the way that they are. So anyone defending his actions and not realizing the actual warning signs, I hope this video and others like it can shed some light on the truth. So let's go back to January 8th of 2019. Just before 3 p.m., a bus slowly pulls up to the bus stop. It's break squeak faintly and Alini stepped down onto the pavement, carefully holding the small hand of her three-year-old daughter.

This was their everyday routine. The bus stop. the short walk to the school, a brief moment of normalcy amidst months and months of turmoil. But today wasn't like other days. Today, someone was waiting for her, watching her every move. And without warning, tires screeched violently as the car veered off the road onto the grass blocking their path.

Her eyes were wide with panic because the person leaping from the car wasn't a stranger. It was the very man that she had tried again and again to escape. And her screams filled the air. She was desperate. She tried to run and to pull her daughter to safety. But how fast can a mother run when she's gripping the hand of her terrified three-year-old child? Her stalker was faster. 17 seconds. That's all it took to end her life. 17 seconds to destroy everything. And yet, as horrific and shocking as those 17 seconds were, they were merely the climax, the tragedy to a much longer, darker, story. A story filled with missed opportunities, unheard pleas,

and a haunting question that echoes painfully through this case. Why didn't anyone listen when she begged for help? This wasn't just a sudden act of violence. It was an avoidable tragedy that unfolded slowly and predictably right before everyone's eyes. In the middle of the day in a safe area, it just doesn't seem real. But let's pause here for just a Before we uncover exactly how we got to this moment on the sidewalk, we have to understand who Alini was, because her life isn't going to be defined by the way she died.

It was defined by who she was while she lived. So who was Alini Godineo? Why did she end up in the United Kingdom, thousands of miles away from her home in Brazil? And what made her stay with a man who continued to show her how dangerous he could be? And above all, how could the authorities that were supposed to be protecting a vulnerable victim,

fail her so completely. Stay with me. Because to truly understand the tragedy of what happened on that sidewalk, we have to go back to the very beginning, back before the violence, before the fear, and before everything unraveled. This is the story of a girl with big dreams, a hopeful young woman named Alini Mendez, who just wanted to build a better life for her family. But along the way, she met someone who would turn that dream into a living nightmare. And as we step into this journey together, I want you to ask yourself one thing. What would it take to make you feel trapped, helpless, and completely alone, even when surrounded by people who are supposed to

protect you? Because as we'll soon find out, what happened to Alini could happen to anyone. And it could have been prevented. And yet the people who should have saved her failed in every imaginable way. Alini Mendez was born on the 15th of June in 1979 in Bello-Orizanchi Brazil. Now I'm doing my best to pronounce everything, sorry if I'm not perfect. But Bella Orizanchi is a city that most people outside of Brazil probably haven't heard of much. If you're imagining another big city in Brazil, like in the movies, then you're missing the magic of this place. And since I don't get out that much to travel, I like to know as much as I can about the places I've never been. Picture a city nestled between rolling mountains where the streets curve around hills rather than cut straight through them.

It's not like Rio de Janeiro with its famous beaches or, Sal Powell with its towering skyscrapers, it's called BH, which is much easier for me to pronounce, and it has a much more relaxed, welcoming vibe than its well-known neighboring cities that get tons of tourism. BH is the capital of the state of Minasgarais, which is known for its colonial history, and most importantly, it's food. If you visit, you have to try, the pauji-caju, which is warm, cheesy bread that's crisp on the outside and soft and the inside. I've actually had that before, and it's very good. The city is also famous for its boatecos, which are small bars where people will gather over a cold beer and endless plates of Brazilian tapas. But beyond the food, Belorazanchi has a unique charm. This city is one of the first

in Brazil to be designed with a planned layout, which was actually inspired by Washington, D.C. It has wide avenues, leafy squares, and a mixture of modern and colonial architecture, which makes it a beautiful place to walk around. While B.H may not be the most famous city in Brazil, for those who visit, it's unforgettable. And I wanted to try my best to paint a picture of where Eleni grew up, because I want you to truly get to know her as much as you can. As a child, she was surrounded by her big family, love, and laughter. Her sister described her as a spectacular person with a heart full of love to give to everyone around her, who never saw the bad in anyone. She remembered Alini's gift for friendship and her love of bringing people together. She was also very good

at cooking. Alan, Alini's younger brother, remembers what it was like growing up in their childhood. It was tough, and there were a lot of adult responsibilities that fell on Alini. Alan said that Alini was like a mother to them. Their environment was full of hard times, especially because they were in poverty. It would cause a lot of arguments between their mother and father because their father was also an alcoholic, and he would get into arguments with the children and his wife. He was also physical with their mother, and he began doing the same to the children. Alini stepped in to protect her her siblings the best that she could. So you can kind of already see a pattern developing here. We don't always get to see someone's past and understand the lens they see the world through.

This was her first example of love and relationships and what a family is supposed to be like. And that's sad, but all too common. Alini's mother appeased her father. She would even leave the kids at home and go out to drink with him at bars, and that is when Alini would step in the most. She did all the chores. She cooked for her siblings and she made sure they were taking care of. She was the oldest of four children, two girls and two boys. And eventually, being that mother figure became part of who Eleni was, nurturing, loving, patient, and a caretaker. Her brother, Alan, used to actually call her his second mother. And that was because their life was a little bit joyful with Eleni around because it had its dark moments.

Our childhood shapes us. And I don't mean the big, obvious ways. I'm talking about those quiet, almost invisible things that we absorb, without even realizing it, the things we dream about, the way we carry ourselves, the responsibility we take, and the way we love and sacrifice. So much of it is implanted in us from a young age and we don't even know it. Alini absorbed everything she went through and she learned early on how to carry all that responsibility, to hold tight to those she loved and to dream about building

something better. When you grow up seeing your parents struggle, you dream of changing it, of being the one who breaks that cycle. And that was exactly Alini's dream. After high school, instead of planning parties or thinking about college, like many of her peers, Alini immediately started working because she felt a deep responsibility for supporting her family and wanting more than anything to relieve their burdens. By 2001, when Alini was 22, she secured a steady job in a local clothing store in Brazil. It wasn't glamorous, but it was stable, and she finally felt like she was contributing. she was doing her part.

And maybe that's why. She took a moment to recognize Ricardo Godineo when he first walked into her life. Ricardo was a local guy a couple years older than her at 24 years old, tall, charming, green eyes, handsome, exactly the kind of guy who turns heads. And at least that's how Olini saw him. He worked delivering close to the store. There was just something magnetic about him. And you know the type.

They're charismatic. They're smooth talking. Someone who can make you feel at the center of their world with just a few words. a bright smile. Some would already say red flag. But I think in most relationships they start out well, and that's why we get into them, right? If they started out bad, we wouldn't give them a chance. Their early relationship was filled with the butterflies and the optimism of young love. Everything was so pure and new. But no one's perfect. And yes, Ricardo smoked a little weed, but who doesn't have their vices? To Eleni, it wasn't a big deal. Certainly nothing worth sounding the alarms. Besides,

They just met. They weren't even serious. And he was kind, attentive, and he seemed genuinely supportive of her dreams. But with every passing day, Ricardo made Eleni feel special and feel seen and cared for. And we all know it's about time that she felt those things because she always cared about everyone else around her. They took things slow, but after two years, by March of 2003, they officially became a couple. Now, at this point, their bond had grew even deeper, and they would spend a lot of time talking and sharing their dreams for the people. future, imagining the life they could have. Eleni always wanted a big family like the one she came from, but she didn't want her kids to experience the financial hardship that she was familiar with.

Ricardo wanted a family too, and he also shared a dream for a better life. They imagined the house they would buy, the family they'd create, the places that they would travel together. They both longed for something bigger than their small town in Brazil could offer them. But there was a difference in their dreams. For Eleni, it was simple. She just, wanted a comfortable life, a loving partner, and healthy children. Stability was everything. Ricardo, on the other hand, he dreamed much bigger. He believed that life abroad was their ticket to something greater, an adventure, and escape from the mundane. It sounded like a dream. But dreams rarely unfold as easily as we imagine, right? And that's why they're dreams,

and sadly, they don't always come true, especially for someone like Alini and Ricardo being Brazilian citizens. Immigrating was not straightforward. They quickly realized that their options were limited. And the process of securing visas, finding work, and setting up a brand new life in a foreign country was overwhelming to say the least. But here's where a little luck came in. As Ricardo was researching, he discovered he was eligible for Italian citizenship due to his ancestry. Italy recognizes citizenship through what's called usanguinus. It's basically the right of blood. If you prove your lineage, a direct descendant from an Italian ancestor, you're eligible for citizenship. But there is a lot of steps that people must take in order to prove their lineage. But if successful,

it would be a direct path for Ricardo into the UK, which at the time was a part of the European Union. Back then with an Italian passport, he would have the right to live and work across all EU countries. Later, when the UK officially left the European Union in 2020, the automatic right for EU citizens to live and work in the UK ended, but here's the thing. It wasn't quite enough to get them both into the UK unless they were married. And since waiting wasn't really part of their plan, Ricardo and Alini forged a fake marriage certificate to get what's called a visitor's visa. They packed their bags and headed for England in September of 2003 on a holiday to see if it was everything they were looking for in their new life. Officially it was their honey

or so they said when they were questioned by immigration authorities in London, but unofficially, this was their gamble. They were betting everything on a chance at a brighter future, but this was no vacation. Once in London, there were no lazy strolls and sightseeing or leisurely afternoon sipping tea. Almost as soon as they arrived, they got jobs, and they rented rooms to set up a house for themselves, and that's initiative right there. Then it was long shifts, crappy rooms, and the hustle of making a living in a foreign place. Alini worked in a hostel in central London, where she met another woman, Vanessa,

who was also from Brazil, and they clicked and became best friends. Then Alini was introduced and later joined the Brazilian expat community. This is a group of individuals living abroad who share a common nationality or culture, offering support, companionship, and a sense of familiarity in new surroundings.

And they formed comfort in their shared struggles. This was tough, but it was exactly, the life that they had always imagined. Or at least it seemed that way. Things were hard, of course, but they were settling into their new life. And in early 2005, Ricardo's Italian citizenship papers had come through,

which meant he could legally apply for visa to stay in the UK. But since his marriage to Eleni wasn't real, she didn't have a visa, which meant that she was in the country illegally. And I honestly wondered at this point why they hadn't legally gotten married. But maybe things will make more sense looking back.

So let's keep going forward. By 2007, Alini and Vanessa decided to become entrepreneurs. They both loved baking and wanted to bring a taste of Brazil to England. They started baking birthday cakes, but then they also made unique treats that were from their culture. In addition to being a loyal friend and a dedicated hard worker, Alini had a talent for baking. But it wasn't just for baking. It was this experience that Alini would create.

that Alini would create. She didn't just bake a cake for someone. She celebrated them. It was the decor, the ambiance, that she would create because she would go above and beyond. That is who she was. And she would have even more to celebrate because she found out that she was pregnant

with her and Ricardo's first child. It was a boy, and they planned to name him Ricardo Jr. after daddy. They were so happy, and things really seemed to be going well. Eleni told her friend Lucene that she was so ready to be a mom that she was born to be a mom. Both she and Ricardo were really excited,

but I'm sure we all know that smiles can hide darker things lurking beneath the surface. It may have been easy for Eleni to acclimate to England, but it wasn't for Ricardo. His story was different. And it's funny, isn't it? Because he was the one that was legally allowed to be there and now he was having second thoughts.

And Alini was fighting so hard to stay, and she wasn't allowed without help from him. So let's go back for a moment, because when they had just been there for a year, Ricardo was already expressing his desire to leave. By the end of 2004, Ricardo's views of the UK had shifted. England wasn't the fairy tale that he had imagined. The jobs were tough, the money was tight,

and his hope was fading. He expected immediate success, instant comfort, but reality rarely matches expectation does it. Alini, she was flourishing. She had been quiet and reserved back in Brazil, but now she was making friends, she was finding her voice, and building confidence, even without perfect English. It was a beautiful thing to witness. Unless, of course, you were Ricardo. Because Ricardo wasn't interested in watching his partner thrive independently.

They were in this together from the start. His mindset was, if we both aren't succeeding, then we both have to sacrifice. Her life was no longer about Ricardo. The honeymoon period had worn off. He wanted her to need him, to depend on him. And when she started to grow beyond his shadow, something inside Ricardo began to change for the worse. He wasn't fond of the new Alini.

And suddenly, England was no longer the dream. It was just the problem. He figured if they just went back to Brazil, then maybe the grass isn't always greener and they would be happier where they came from. Maybe they took everything for granted when they were there. But that was because things, weren't working for Ricardo, but it was for Eleni. So of course, she pushed back. She even told him,

listen, if you want to go back and you feel that's the right thing to do, then go for it. Maybe he needed a reminder of why they left. Who knows? But this only made Ricardo angrier. The charming man that she fell in love with began to fade. In his place was this nagging, persistent, manipulative man that she couldn't get away from. He would call her constantly when she was working, bombarding her phone and even making threats that he would end himself to get her to do what he wanted. When that didn't work, he threatened to expose their friends who had overstayed their visas like Alini had and make sure that they got kicked out of the country. Wow. Yet Alini still refused to give in. At this point, she felt they needed some space, so she would get away for a while and go stay

with friends. She was done with what she referred to as his mood swings because one moment he was telling her that he was in love with her, she was the love of his life, and the next, he was yelling in her face. But saying he loved her meant there was no length he wouldn't go to make her stay with him. He begged her to please give him another chance. He was going to be different. He wouldn't yell. He wouldn't be nagging. Just remember, this was before Eleni got pregnant. That changed everything. Because truthfully, according to those closest to her, she really did not want to go back to him, but she felt that she had no choice once she was having their child. Now, this brought a whole new level of manipulation. Because of Alini's immigration status, it limited the health care that she was

entitled to. And once their son was born, he needed an important surgery that would cost way too much in England. This was Ricardo's chance to get Alini to go back to Brazil. There's nothing that she wouldn't do for her child. At first, only Alini was going to go back with the baby, Ricardo Jr., to Brazil, and then come back to England right after he had his surgery and he healed. But Ricardo insisted they go together as a family. Besides, everyone back home wanted to meet the baby, and they could stay with family for free and save some money. So it seemed like a great idea. But Alini never planned on staying in Brazil. She was going to come right back. And it seems Eleni could be happy anywhere. As long as she was surrounded by the people she loved, and once she got

back to Brazil, she was so grateful, she finally felt safe again, secure in her support system. But you could have guessed. Ricardo was the type of person that blamed everything and everyone for his shortcomings. He was the one that wanted to leave the UK for Brazil, but as soon as they were there, he was complaining. It was a slower pace of life. He felt suffocated. He flip-flopped. Now he missed England, and he was desperate to go back. But Eleni wasn't in a rush to go anywhere. especially with him. Their child's health came first, and she felt safer in Brazil

with her support network all around her. She wanted Ricardo to be happy, but she wasn't willing to pack up and leave just because he was feeling restless. Her defiance did not sit well with him. He hated it. He had always been possessive, always had a temper. However, possessiveness took on the form of,

oh, I love being around you. I never want to be apart. And the temper was at bay, But now it had escalated. It was obvious. He was becoming controlling and jealous. And that's the thing with toxic relationships. The mistreatment rarely starts dramatically all at once.

It creeps in slowly, quietly, disguised as love or passion, and it builds gradually until the victim can't clearly see when love ended and danger began. And that's exactly what happened with Ricardo. Over the next few months, Ricardo was cold towards Eleni and their son, and he was much more irritable. In the past, sure, he would express his feelings of jealousy, but now it was like he was looking for reasons

to accuse Alini of being unfaithful. If she simply spoke to a male friend or even if she was just distracted, he would throw around all kinds of accusations that made no sense at all. He was so obsessed with catching her that he started keeping tabs on her every move, questioning where she was going, who she was with,

and why she was taking so long. red flag. I'm sure you can see it waving brightly now, but Alini knew something wasn't right because this wasn't the Ricardo she knew. So she confronted him. Now, I'm going to tell you Ricardo's explanation, which I personally found as more of an excuse, but it doesn't mean that it wasn't affecting his behavior. I just don't think it was deep down the root cause of it. He admitted that he was smoking weed several times a day every day. Now we know from the beginning of the relationship that he'd always been a pot smoker, but it was casual, not something he did all the time. So Alini made it clear.

If he didn't plan to stop, she would not be under the same roof. And to understand where she was coming from, she was correlating everything that was going wrong with him, with him smoking. She thought that was the change in his behavior. So Alini decided to stay with her family without Ricardo. And once he was aware that she was staying with one of her brothers and their uncle, he became livid. It was family. but they were male family members. And to him, this wasn't appropriate.

He called them, and he said, if Alini didn't come back to him right now, he was going to go over there and kill them. That was a big enough threat that it made Alini feel like she had no choice, but to go back to him, otherwise he would hurt her family. And this is exactly what people mean

when they say, you're stuck between a rock and a hard place. It's like he's got this temper, he's possessive, and he's controlling. But the alternative is, he's going to hurt your family if you leave. But despite it all, for years, Alini held on to hope that if Ricardo could just find his purpose, then things would change. So one of the things she thought would make him more secure, especially in the relationship, was making it official and getting married on paper.

Remember, their marriage had been a sham. So they officially became husband and wife. Alini felt if Ricardo could just be successful in something and feel proud of himself. maybe he would not only stop with the weed, but the old Ricardo that she knew in love would come back. After all, one of the reasons he gave her for smoking was because he was so stressed that he couldn't provide for his wife, his now wife, and his child.

He was saying that it was a way for him to escape and feel better about himself, but it only created a sick cycle where he would get irritable and aggressive. Eleni did see the light at the end of the tunnel at this point, and she was a visionary. She started exploring their options for business ventures that they could get involved in together, and they decided to pool all their savings and open a local coffee shop in their neighborhood.

Everyone knew them. It was familiar, and Eleni could bake her special treats. And they did it. It seemed like this was going to be their answer. They were excited. Ricardo seemed to finally feel like he was contributing. Plus, he could be around Alini all the time. But we know that his intentions weren't just, to be close to her because he missed her or he liked her company. It was to monitor her.

And at first, it went unnoticed. But it became yet another place that Ricardo could exert control. Cameras watched her every move. He installed CCTV, which he said was for security. But then he would spend hours watching the footage when he wasn't there. And I can only imagine. And then he would sit there and criticize and question Alini's interactions with customers and even their staff. He would accuse her of having an affair, stealing money from the registers. And at first, the humiliation was confined between the two of them. But then, in one particular incident, Alini allowed a trusted customer to purchase items on credit. This was common practice in their community.

But when Ricardo discovered what she had done, he was enraged. He stormed into the coffee shop and began yelling at her in front of their customers and even their employees. and in a fit of anger, he overturned tables, he smashed chairs, even the ones that people were sitting in and eating. This violent outburst embarrassed Alini so much, but it also frightened their customers, and it caused irreparable damage to the atmosphere in the coffee shop. It became tense and unwelcoming, and the staff members were worried that Ricardo could return at any moment and do it again or hurt them. And not long after smashing up the cafe, Ricardo smashed a glass table. table at their home. And I want to pause here. And I want to let you know that right there, that's escalation. It's the beginning of something more, just so you're aware. Because at first,

he was only breaking things. He was smashing items, but in close proximity to her and others. And soon, he would move to actually making contact with Eleni. The first time came in the form of pushing her to the ground during an argument. It should never get that far. It's not okay. and no excuse justifies it. If you've experienced this, I am so sorry if this is triggering. But you know the excuses that I'm talking about when I say, that they'll say, okay, I'm sorry I got upset.

I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't mean to. I'm so, so sorry. I don't know what came over me, and I'll never do it again. This is where things became crystal clear to Eleni. Ricardo wasn't going to change. His apologies were hollow.

His promises were worthless, and it was a turning point. She realized she was never getting the old Ricardo back. Because maybe he never existed to begin with. Maybe it was all the facade. I stumbled upon a YouTube video the other day from a small creator, and I was so glad I did. She created a video about running into her ex

and wanting to do a simple 24-hour glow-up. But there was something in that video that was more serious and very profound, and I don't even know if she realized it. She was explaining she had an argument with her ex. And from what I gathered, He would get on her case and say that she was nice, and she wasn't considerate of other people's feelings. And I think he was making the argument that it should come naturally,

like what's wrong with you, if you're not automatically putting people first and being kind-hearted. And what was interesting is this creator said that she believes it's really the opposite. She believes that we're not all kind people at heart, and that each one of us has this threshold that we have to overcome to be kind and to be nice, and to make the right decisions.

And not all of us have the capacity to cross that threshold on a regular basis as easily as the next person can. And that was very profound to me because I do a lot of cases, background in psychology, I'm sure you know the whole thing you can look in my description box

for who I am and where I came from. It's a choice to behave a certain way towards others. It doesn't make you a bad person if it doesn't come 100% natural and we have to work on it, sometimes harder when dealing with certain people. And like I said, this may not be your perspective, but I just found it interesting.

But for Ricardo, it seemed like he wasn't able to keep his mask from slipping. And she was worried that one day he would snap and do something much worse than just push her. And as we continue the story, remember this version of Alini, the woman who dreamed big, who loved deeply, and who never imagined her life could unravel so horribly. And to understand how truly trap she was, we have to dig deeper into the terrifying spiral of control and fear, and fear that Ricardo built around her. And that's exactly where we're heading next. And I want you to think about Disney movies right now,

or fairy tales, because I'm sure you've noticed how they always end with happily ever after. The princess marries her prince, they ride off into the sunset, and that's it. The story's over. We never really get to see what happens next. We never see Cinderella and her prince navigating money problems, or arguing about household chores, because reality isn't always so perfect. Can you imagine how frustrating all of this must have been for Eleni?

She built herself up. She became stronger, braver, more independent, came up with ideas to help Ricardo thrive. But it was like every step forward was two steps back. And you might think, well, why didn't she just leave? And I get it. It's an understandable thought. We hear it all the time. And I want to scream at sometimes.

but then I realize it's not that simple. I want you to imagine that you're holding a ticking time bomb and you don't know when it's going to explode. And if you throw it, that might actually trigger it. And if it doesn't, maybe running away will shake the ground just enough for it to go off and destroy you and everyone you love. I don't know if that metaphor helped at all, but for anyone who's been in this situation or knows someone that has,

every single attempt she made it leaving, Ricardo would twist into a weapon, threatening harm against himself, her family, or even their child. So it's like that taking time on. You don't know how to get rid of it. Because either way, it's going to explode. Ricardo showed that he would do it too. The promises it may have been empty, but his threats weren't.

It had been almost three years now, and Nalini found out she was pregnant again. It's like history repeating itself, but she wanted a big family, and she wasn't getting any younger. However, she knew it wasn't right to raise another child in such an unstable environment. She closed the coffee shop, and with the support of her family, Eleni made a very difficult decision. She was going to leave Ricardo.

How many attempts was that now? At least two, I think. But you know what Ricardo would say? I only do it because of you. Because you're always stressing me out. It's your fault and slowly, subtly. It really wears a person down until they question every thought. They have every decision they make, and they start believing the lie.

Maybe if I just try harder. Maybe if I'm better, it'll stop. It's textbook coercive control. With Eleni, she felt safe with her family, and she gave birth to her second son. But it was anything but calm. Ricardo's behavior only got worse. He called her day in and day out, day and night, threatening to hurt himself and now hurt their children and her family

if she didn't come be a family with him again. Something that was really disturbing was he actually wrote a letter to his children, even though they were little, explaining that he was going to take his own life because of their mother. I know you may be angry once I tell you this, but once again, Alini was so fearful of what Ricardo may do that she went back to him. What she wasn't aware of is that it wasn't just weed that Ricardo was doing. It was crack and coke. Yeah, there's a big difference. So you can see now that it makes more sense that substances could have. contributed to his behavior. It could have amplified his feelings of paranoia and anger, but not excuse them. And sadly, since things hadn't worked out with the coffee shop, they were

broke. The savings that they once had were gone, and of course, Ricardo had been spending what he did have to fuel his bad habits. It was exactly the life that Alini had been trying to avoid since she was just a little girl. Her dream of a loving, stable family felt unachievable. But she didn't want to give up. She applied for another job, so she could could start bringing in some money to support their family. But on her first day of work, Ricardo came there and threatened to break everything in the store if she didn't leave with him immediately. Now, on the way home, she was crying and screaming at Ricardo. Rightfully so. He had done something so egregious and rude to her and disrespectful. And that's when he drove directly in the path

of oncoming traffic. And he refused to move until she stopped screaming. And I wish this wasn't true. I know some of you can't imagine how could it even get to this? And by now she knew about his issues with illicit substances. But despite all of this chaos and dysfunction, or perhaps because of it, Alini felt like she had no choice, but to keep fighting, especially for her kids. Because if she were gone, what would happen to her boys? She was desperate for an answer, a way out of this mess. And I'm sure you've heard the saying before, wherever you go, there you are.

People usually say it about vacations or moving away, thinking a change of scenery can magically solve their problems. But what if the problem isn't the place you live or the life you built? What if it's the person standing right beside you? In 2013, Ricardo convinced Eleni they needed yet another fresh start. Again. They've already had at least two. Once in the UK, then back to Brazil with a coffee shop.

But in 2013, with their boys now five and two years old and a third on the way, yes, they're There's another one, a little boy they're having together. Ricardo wanted to go back to England, where they first tried to build their dream. Maybe it's where they belonged all along. He thought so. But wherever they went, Ricardo would be there. Ricardo insists that the problem was in him. It was Brazil.

It was their surroundings. It was the people, their financial struggles. And maybe England, the place they had once dreamed about, would finally give them the peace that they'd been chasing for so many years. It was a desperate idea, born out of chaos and promises that things would finally be different. So reluctantly and hoping for change, Alini agreed to stay with Ricardo and try one more time if they went back to London because she wanted to go back there the whole time. So they packed up their lives again, now with three children in tow, and moved back to the UK.

Specifically to Epsom Insari, a picturesque town, just 14 miles southwest of London. Epsom is famous for the Epsom Derby, which is one of the most famous horse races in the world, but it's also known for its historic and charming quiet streets. It's worlds away from the chaos that they would be leaving behind. And when Eleni told her friend Vanessa that she was coming back, she was so excited to see her again, and so was Lucene. She even said that it felt like her sister was coming back. That's how close that they'd been. But neither one knew the truth about the reasons Alini was coming back and forth. For a moment, it actually seemed hopeful, though. A fresh start. But that doesn't always fix people,

fix people, especially ones like Ricardo. It only delays the inevitable. Ricardo's toxic tendencies weren't attached to a location. They were deeply embedded within him, waiting for the right trigger. When they first arrived, they moved in with Alini's friend Vanessa and her husband Henrique. They lived in an area with a very strong Portuguese community, so they fit right in. It's also very close to London, so more job opportunities are not too far away, and the schools were also top-rated, And it was in an affluent community where they wouldn't really have had a chance to live if it wasn't for Vanessa and her husband already being established there. And things were actually really positive. Everyone was in good spirits.

Alini stayed home with the boys and Ricardo went out looking for a job. It only took him about two weeks before he was working. Then Alini also found employment and the boys were in kindergarten and preschool and daycare. And Epsom felt promising. Ricardo was busy with not only work, but he was in addiction recovery. at the time, so he was pretty distracted. And that meant there was just enough time to give Valini a glimpse of independence.

She made new friends, and she even started dreaming again, just a little bit. But it was as though nothing was ever right. If Alini got a job to help support the family, Ricardo felt threatened and returned to his familiar playbook, isolation, threats, and total control. He constantly reminded her of her immigration status,

an effective tool for manipulation, because Ricardo now had an Italian passport. an Italian passport. He was legally allowed to live and work in the UK, but Eleni was on shaky ground. If their marriage ended, she risked losing her right to stay. And Ricardo never let her forget this. He would say, if you leave me, they'll deport you,

and you'll never see your kids again. And that was enough to keep her under his thumb. Imagine that fear, not just the threat of physical harm, but the gut-wrenching terror of being separated from your own children forever. Every decision she made was overshadowed by that threat. Ricardo had trapped her in his web, leaving her physically free, but emotionally imprisoned. She confided in Lucene that she wasn't in love with Ricardo anymore.

And the only thing she wanted from him was that he was good to the children, that he was a good father to them. And that's it. She'd given up on them ever being in a close, loving, romantic bond that she had dreamed of when they first met. And I don't even want to, but to give him just a little bit of credit, he was at times a good father to the children. But if you know anything about substances, they change you. He was in recovery, but he wasn't recovered. You, as an addict, are always recovering and never fully recovered. And he was still using.

So it was back and forth. At times, he would be loving and happy, but then sad and depressed and angry. It was truly a rollercoaster of emotions. And whenever Vanessa and her husband weren't home, Ricardo would strike, physically pinning Eleni down and hurting her. But still, no one knew the truth. Until one night, Vanessa heard Alini scream her husband's name. She was like, Henrique!

And that's when they ran down, it woke them up, they were in the living room, trying to see what was going on. And Alini was hysterically crying and telling them that Ricardo had put his hands around her neck and was choking her. This was very shocking because all along no one had a clue this was going on. Eleni hit it very well and so did Ricardo. Of course they did. So Vanessa and her husband, they could not understand and what could have caused this, except for his issues with substances. They kind of chalked it up to that,

but still sat both of them down and talked to them for hours trying to work this out. But this was so deeply rooted. There wasn't hope for change just through speaking with them, especially when Alini retracted what she said. She was like, well, you know, it was maybe the heat of the moment. I might have gotten confused. Maybe he wasn't choking me. Maybe he was just like putting his hand over my mouth

so that I wouldn't scream and wait. anybody up but still I don't think that's okay and she was minimizing it there was a psychologist that was giving perspective on this case on why women like Alini get into relationships with men like Ricardo and the truth is they get into these relationships with men like this because they don't know they're getting into a relationship with a man like this it doesn't start this way it's gradual and it gets worse over time and by then they have so many different connections They've got children.

They've got financial obligations. They don't have a place to stay. And it becomes very isolating. And Alini thought she felt safe being under the same roof with Vanessa and Henrique. But now she knew that Ricardo was getting bolder. The truth is she decided that she had now tried everything possible and she was preparing to face the fact

that nothing was going to change in her marriage. Without telling Ricardo, she booked flights back to Brazil for her and the children. She quit her job. And then she began to pass. things up little by little while he was out, only taking the most important things because she could replace the material ones.

It was the night before Eleni had planned to leave Ricardo for good, but he discovered her plans. And that's what led to this confrontation where he cornered her and demanded that she hand over the children's passports. When she refused, his rage boiled over, and he wrapped his hands around her neck until she could barely breathe. And the only reason he stopped that night was because she screamed for Vanessa's husband.

husband. So that was what was going on. But this seemed to trigger change for the better in Ricardo. It's like that old show scared straight from the 90s. I don't know if you're going to remember it, but it was where the juvenile delinquents, they would have a chance to see what it was like in prison, and they would be so scared that they would stop their bad habits and their evil ways. Well, it seemed like now that people recognize that Ricardo had the ability to be violent, he settled down. He knew there were witnesses now. So for a while, things got better again. Ricardo was taking steps in recovery. They were both working and having a good time together. By 2016, Alini gave birth to a baby girl, their first daughter, and maybe she was waiting

for a little girl all along after three boys, and now she had the exact size family that she grew up with. And maybe she planned to have even more. And if you look at all the pictures, you would imagine a happy family, celebrating birthdays, dressed in cute outfits, and Eleni always made sure her children were were taken care of and loved. Some might ask, why keep having kids with this man? And I understand. But she wanted the kids. She just wanted out of Ricardo's life. And she was planning a way out for a long time. You can kind of think of it like this. If the only thing he's good for was giving her children, so be it. But he wasn't someone she could stay married to. She knew that. But the safest thing for her to do at that moment was to play nicely. Her life actually depended on it. Besides,

This was a calm period for them. Ricardo actually started his own maintenance business in this area, and they called it Cadyno maintenance. And it was growing fast because the area was upscale. People were using his services for cleaning buildings and homes. And Alini helped out, filling out all the paperwork to get the business started and get the right permits. And then it just took off. Eleni began handling all the bookkeeping, which meant that she was able to be home with the children more.

And they even got their own place in the same affluent area in Surrey. in the town of Yule. Friends who hung out with them regularly said that they looked like a very lovy-dovey couple. They even had nicknames. They would cook together and laugh and clean and do chores happily side by side. And friends, and this was surprising when I learned this, but they aspired to have that kind of connection with their partner. And I'm not always trying to bring up other cases, but what comes to my mind is Gabby Petito. From the outside, people saw them doing things together, traveling, smiling, and photos in highly edited videos, but if you saw the documentary recently, you would know. Behind the scenes, things were very different. You could see the tension,

the awkward moments, and the hidden dynamic. And I do want to be educational. It's one reason I talk about these cases. Studies confirm that survivors of strangulation by intimate partners are approximately 750 percent, more likely to be killed by the same person. That moment, when Ricardo's hands closed around Alini's neck, her risk of death skyrocketed. After that attack, Ricardo destroyed her passport. Without identification, without documentation, she couldn't even board her flight home. Another calculated tactic and act of control, ensuring she was trapped in a country where she had no safety net and limited rights.

As Ricardo's company grew, so did his stress, which made his moods worse. And now the only time Alini left the house was to drop off and pick up the children from school. Ricardo turned their kids into pawns in his twisted game as well, manipulating and emotionally blackmilling them against their own mother. He would start arguments in front of them, he would yell loudly, and he would say things to Alini like, look what you're doing to the children. Look how upset you're making them. Ugh, it makes me so angry.