True Crime with Kimbyr - The Walk That Ended in Horror: The Heartbreaking Murder of Sabina Nessa: Part 2

Episode Date: May 30, 2025

As the investigation deepens, chilling new details about Sabina Nessa’s final moments emerge. Who was the last person to see her alive? What clues did police uncover from surveillance footage and fo...rensic evidence? In this gripping second installment of True Crime with Kimbyr, Kimbyrleigha dives into the timeline leading up to Sabina's murder, exposing disturbing facts that raise more questions than answers. Could her killer be hiding in plain sight—and what drove them to commit such a brutal act? Stay tuned as the mystery unravels. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Of course, the next person investigators want to speak with is Sabina's date, a man that they found out was 10 years older than her, and he might have been the last person to have contact with her. They actually arrested him under suspicion of murder, and they held him for questioning, because 90% of women are killed by someone they know, so they start there. But to cut to the chase, it was clear that this man was not involved, so he was free to go.
Starting point is 00:00:26 But they had a better lead, an eyewitness. It wasn't a person. As the crispy chicken sandwich from 7-Eleven, people always call me loud. And I'm like, yeah, I know. I'm crispy. Did you expect me to whisper? If you want quiet, go eat some soup and reflect. Like, I know I'm a handful.
Starting point is 00:00:44 I'm bold, I'm juicy. Throw some pickles and barbecue sauce on me, and baby I'm a whole meal. And with seven rewards, I'm just $4. Quiet, no. Krispy, saucy, and $4? Very. Only at 711. Valley 36-2326, participating stores only,
Starting point is 00:01:00 supplies lastly out for full terms. It was CCTV footage. London is one of the most surveilled cities in the world, with recent estimates suggesting that there are between 600,000 to close to a million cameras in the city. And many of these cameras are operated by businesses or private entities, which can make it hard to gain access to them. But in this case, the community in the immediate area was outraged when they found out a woman had been brutally murdered, just steps from her front door, and a park, which was considered
Starting point is 00:01:29 safe. Several camera owners actually submitted the footage to investigators. They had dashboard cameras, doorbell cameras, and security footage. But investigators had already accessed the parks CCTV footage from the area right near where Sabina's body was found. And even though it is newer equipment, we know these videos are notoriously grainy and bad quality, and this footage was no exception. But it was all they had. They began looking at it right after 8.30 p.m. on Friday night. And hauntingly, They soon realize that Sabina's entire murder was captured on video. And although they can't make out any characteristics of the person who killed her because of the position of the camera was overhead,
Starting point is 00:02:10 so they can't see facial features, they can't ascertain ethnicity, age, or even the color of their clothing, so they can't make an identification. But it appeared to be a male subject. But now they've answered one question. They know how Sabina was killed. And I'm going to warn you, this is a very important. very brutal and shocking. Now, of course, they never released the actual footage, but the official reports have described it in detail. First, they were able to identify Sabina from the description
Starting point is 00:02:40 her roommate gave them of what she was wearing that night. A dark top, a skirt, tites, a coat, and sparkly boots. Through the various cameras, they spot Sabina crossing a small bridge from Astell Road near her apartment complex in Decatur Park, and she continued to walk down the footpath. Next, she crossed over a Cambert way and continued to walk on the main sidewalk through the park. And that's when the camera captured a hooded figure that emerged from under the trees. And he walked in her direction and actually crossed her path. He looked straight at her. As she continued to make her way towards the direction of the depot, the attacker kept walking away from her.
Starting point is 00:03:18 It was as though he was looking around to make sure no one was close by. And then he quickly turned back towards Sabina's direction and looked her way, probably making sure that that area was clear as well. And then he ran back to where Sabina was at a very rapid pace, approaching her from behind with something in his hand. And right when he's on her heels, she probably heard his footsteps because she starts to turn her head behind her, and that's when he begins a frenzied attack on this poor woman.
Starting point is 00:03:44 It was just blow after blow in a very quick succession, again and again and again, striking her in the head and face repeatedly without warning. Sabina was completely caught off guard, but she did attempt to defend herself, but sadly, she was no match for how ferocious the speeding was. The investigators slowed the video down and they counted 34 strikes to Sabina's head. 34. That is disgusting. It makes me sick to my stomach to think about. And finally, Sabina collapsed right over a park bench. She appeared to be unconscious at this point, and the perpetrator literally throws this poor girl over his shoulder and carries her toward that area that was not within the view of the cameras. It's up a bank and covered with tall grass and several trees.
Starting point is 00:04:32 And for the next 10 minutes, there's no sign of Sabina or her attacker. But then only he reemerges from that area where Sabina's body was ultimately found. And he makes his way back to that bench and begins picking up pieces of the weapon that he used to harm Sabina. It had broken during this attack. That's the force he used. It wasn't clear what this item was at the time, but then the attacker seen going back to where Sabina was taken off camera, and he's gone for another 10 minutes.
Starting point is 00:05:00 And there's no way to know what he was doing to her in that 20 minutes that the cameras didn't catch his actions, but there are clues, and it's not good. After that second 10-minute period off camera, he returned to the bench a second time, and he took out what appeared to be wet wipes, and he began wiping down the bench where Sabina had fallen. Clearly, this man knew a thing or two about forensics
Starting point is 00:05:24 because he was manipulating this crime scene. He was trying to get rid of any evidence of him or Sabina being in that location, but now the investigators know where the murder took place, they make that their new focus. They swabbed the bench and the surrounding area for blood, DNA, and they dust for any fingerprints that may have been left behind.
Starting point is 00:05:44 Because they know what Sabina was wearing before the attack, they were also able to conclude that the killer removed her tights as well as her underwear, because she was not wearing either of those items when she was found. However, what struck them as very odd was the fact that the attacker would have had to remove her boots to take off the underwear and tights,
Starting point is 00:06:02 but Sabina was found with her boots on both her feet. Therefore, this pervert took his time to put them back on her after what he did to her. With the way that she was posed, it would have enabled him to have full intimate access to her. And according to detectives, there didn't seem to be any other reason to remove those lower items of clothing, exposing her top half, and leaving her with her
Starting point is 00:06:25 with her legs open unless there had been sexual conduct, especially because he took that clothing with him from the scene, most likely to avoid there ever being a trace of his DNA being found on them. Either that, or investigators suggested he could have taken them as trophies, but considering they watched him clean up the scene, they believed it was the former theory, a sexually-motivated crime to take advantage of a beautiful woman who was walking all alone at night. He targeted her. He was watching, waiting, stalking that park, looking for prey. They now believe that this could actually be a random attack and that this man may not have had
Starting point is 00:07:06 any connection with Samina, but they couldn't be sure. After the savage attack, the man is seen pulling his hood back over his head and casually walking away around 8.56 p.m. He could have gone anywhere. because once he walked out of the side of the cameras, they weren't sure in which direction he left. And this park is pretty big with many different ways to come and go. The CCTV in the park doesn't cover every nook and cranny, just the main path.
Starting point is 00:07:32 So they wonder, did this man walk here or drive? Does he live nearby? Was he casing this area for a while? They don't know. But they want to know which way he went so they could pull CCTV footage from that area because they want to narrow this down. Otherwise, they will be spending hours upon hours, scouring,
Starting point is 00:07:49 through a number of videos, and time is of the essence. They have a violent killer on the loose, who's likely to strike again or get away with this. The next step was to look at more CCTV footage from the areas around the park and the surrounding buildings and businesses, and then to keep moving outward until they found something. They knew very little about the killer's physical appearance,
Starting point is 00:08:08 but they were going to try very hard to locate anyone who was in that location on the night that this happened and went through that park. And then there was this other officer who was dedicated to combing through that park footage. It took him seven days, but he finally noticed something. It actually ended up being one of the biggest breaks in this entire case, yet it was so minute that everyone else missed it except for him.
Starting point is 00:08:27 Moments after the killer walked off camera, there was a flash of light that peaked through the darkness. It was probably only a millisecond. If you blink, you would miss it. The flash appeared to be coming from an object the killer was holding. Could it be a phone? They weren't sure. But I have a portion of this footage, and I'm going to play it for you.
Starting point is 00:08:46 But you have to look closely, because you have to look closely, closely because it only glows for a second if that. So here goes. Did you see it glimmering? It's right there. I'm going to slow it down and then I'm going to blow it up and play it again. Ready? Okay, do you see it? Now I'm going to freeze the frame as it's lighting up. It's right there. You see that? It's almost like something lit up as the killer walked by. And you might be wondering, why is this important? Well, because now they know what direction he was leaving the park. That, coupled with the time they have, they can focus on the cameras in that direction, in that area, which appeared to be an entrance off a peggler square. I'm showing it on the screen if you're watching. The investigators scour CCTV footage from stores and businesses in that area looking for anyone coming and going around the time
Starting point is 00:09:34 before and after the attack. I'm telling you all these details because it's what I do, but it's also because I want you to recognize all of this work. A lot of work went into this. Detectives did hundreds and hundreds of hours piecing so much together to connect all the dots and catch a killer. On one of the cameras, they see a car arrive at Pegler Square at 7.41 p.m. at same night. So about 50 minutes before Sabina had even left her apartment, I'm going to show it to you on this map how close it was to the park. It's just across the street. And the car was around this area right here. It pulls in in parallel parks.
Starting point is 00:10:11 It's the proximity to the park that makes this car stand out. I have the CCTV footage as well. And you can see the driver moving around with their phone and their hand inside. But this camera angle doesn't show much. Again, it's grainy, it's black and white, and the license plate isn't in view. However, I learned this.
Starting point is 00:10:30 London has ANPR cameras on all their roadways. And ANPR is short for automatic number plate recognition. So as drivers make their way around town, their license plate is recorded, which I think is pretty cool. I love technology. So investigators go and they pull all this footage and records from the nearest and PR camera,
Starting point is 00:10:51 but it's just their luck that it was not working properly that night. So it did not record this vehicle's license plate number, and that has to be so frustrating because just when you think you have this big lead, you have nothing. But at least they could see this car. It was a light color, maybe beige, silver or white, and there were enough characteristics to know it was a Nissan.
Starting point is 00:11:12 So they have a Nissan, come in, take a look at the footage, and they're able to determine from the tires, the rims, the headlight style, the make model, and the year of the vehicle. It was a newer Nissan Micra, only about a year old, and I don't think we have these here in the US, so I'm going to put an example up on the screen
Starting point is 00:11:30 of what it looks like. Meanwhile, another camera picked up something else that investigators believed was very relevant to this case. They think it could be an image of the killer after he fled the scene. It's footage from Pegler Square right after the attack. right after the attack. The video shows a balding man who looked like he had a lighter complexion,
Starting point is 00:11:49 wearing a black hoodie, light-colored pants, and black shoes with a thick white sole. He's also carrying something peculiar in his hands, and it appears to be a red object. As he walks into frame, he's looking around him and behind him as though he's checking to make sure no one's around. And then he pulls his hood up over his head. Very suspicious, kind of exactly what the killer did on camera
Starting point is 00:12:10 when he was leaving the park. Several minutes later, another, Another camera in this vicinity picked up the same man as he got into that vehicle that I showed you, the one parked on the side of the road, and then he sped away from the area. At this point, the police release still shots of this man and the car driving away.
Starting point is 00:12:28 They confirm it's a silver Nissan Micra, and they asked the public for tips. And Detective Chief Superintendent Trevor Lawry held a press conference about a week after Sabina was murdered. It was on September 23rd, right outside the park where her body was found. And by now, the news of Sabina's murder had spread, and the public was outraged.
Starting point is 00:12:48 They wanted answers, and Detective Laurie was pleading with the public to come forward if they were in the area that Friday night and saw anything. And I'm going to play this clip. Sabina, we believe, was walking from her home address. Her journey would have seen her walk through Cater Park. And we believe as she walked through the park,
Starting point is 00:13:06 she was approached by an individual and fatally attacked. Sabina's body was sadly found by a member of the public around 5.30 p.m. the following day. As anyone who lives here will know, Cater Park is well used by the community. And we are appealing for anyone who was here on Friday evening and who thinks they saw anything unusual to come forward. Maybe you saw someone acting strangely inside the park or running away from it. If you were in the area, please think back and let us know if you have any information. You will see that we have an extensive crime scene in place and we expected to be here for the next couple of days. It wasn't just the
Starting point is 00:13:42 brutal circumstances of Sabina's death that came as a shock to this community. Sabina's murder came just a few months after another young woman named Sarah Everard. A 33-year-old marketing executive was killed by Wayne Cousins, an off-duty police officer, who had falsely arrested her for pretending that she had breached COVID-19 regulations. Instead of bringing her to the station, he drove her 80 miles away, forced himself upon her, strangled her to death, and then later he burned her body, and disposed of her remains in a nearby pond. Sarah's death had made headline news both nationally and internationally due to the fact that she was simply walking along the street, mining her own business when she was
Starting point is 00:14:23 killed, and that's scary. And it's also very worrisome. There was a significant group of citizens who were outspoken about the lack of safety for women and girls in London. I think we can say the same about the United States. When Sarah was killed, an organization called Reclaim These Streets was formed to hold a a vigil for her and all women affected by male violence. They called for social change. Women should not be afraid to walk alone. They should be allowed to be free to walk the streets without being in fear for their lives. But as most women know, the reality is we are afraid. We're taught to be cautious, not to wear anything revealing to travel in groups all because men want us for their pleasure and then want to kill us and discard us like trash when they're finished
Starting point is 00:15:08 with us. Just like so many other women, women like Sarah and now Sabina and countless others. Another aspect of Sabina's case that bothered her family and the public was that her murder did not attract the same media attention as Sarah's. There was definitely a disparity in the media coverage. And some people claimed it was because Sabina wasn't white like Sarah was. And I gotta tell you, there is some truth to this. Missing White Woman Syndrome is real.
Starting point is 00:15:34 It's the media's biased against missing people of color. They just do not get the same amount of media coverage and therefore their cases are not talked about as much or even known at all. The syndrome also encompasses a disproportionate media attention to females who are young, attractive, white, and upper middle class. It had been a week, and social media was finally starting to react to Sabina's murder,
Starting point is 00:15:55 with some people wondering why they're just now becoming aware of such a brutal killing of yet another innocent woman. Celebrities began weighing in with Jamila Jamil, Emma Barnett, and Tracy Ann Oberman, among them. Jamila posted, quote, I don't want to hear more public warnings about women not walking in parks in the evening. I'm tired of women being burdened with treating the symptoms of men's violence against women.
Starting point is 00:16:19 Treat the damn cause, men's violence. This is a man problem that women pay the price for." Actress Tracy Ann Oberman posted, quote, Let's never forget hashtag Sabina Nessa. News channels keep the pressure on and the story up. So close after hashtag Sarah Everard, we need to reclaim the street. Women have to be safe and feel safe, tragic and sickening, thoughts with her family, end quote. And Emma Barnett added, quote, Sabina and Nessa, the 20-year-old schoolteacher killed in a park,
Starting point is 00:16:53 a vigil will be held tomorrow, six months on from the murder of Sarah Everard, what has to change? End quote. And it's true. I can get on board with all three of those statements. When is it going to change? And why are we paying the price for something that men decide to do? That vigil was held on Friday, September 24th at 7 p.m. right in Pegler Square, where that CCTV footage captured both the car and that suspicious man. It's also the location where Sabina had been planning to meet her date. Over 500 people showed up to honor Sabina and support her family. Sabina's sister, Jabina spoke.
Starting point is 00:17:28 Breaking down in tears as she addressed the crowd, she said, quote, I just want to say thank you to everyone who came today to show support for my sister. We have lost an amazing, caring, beautiful sister who left this world far too early." And her husband took her side as she began to cry. Here's a clip of that now. I just want to say thank you for everyone who came in to show you support and respect. Far too early. She didn't reach her 25th birthday.
Starting point is 00:18:05 My next mom. I loved her family. Lost our sister. My parents have lost their daughter and my girls have lost such a brilliant loving care. You're an auntie who dearly loved her. Words cannot describe how we are feeling. This feels like we are stuck in a bad dream and can't get out of it.
Starting point is 00:18:29 Remember while all of this is going on, the killer is still out there, and by now, the autopsy results had come in. Sabina's wounds were horrific, as I already told you. She was hit 34 times in the head with a blunt object. Her skull was fractured. She had several broken ribs, and her liver had sustained damage.
Starting point is 00:18:47 She had also been struck. strangled, and she was in such bad condition that it was not clear how she died. It could have been the trauma to her head or exfixiation. So her cause of death was labeled as undetermined. But the manner of death was, of course, homicide. There were also defensive wounds to her right hand. And although there were no injuries to Sabina's private areas and no evidence of the presence of anyone else's bodily fluids, the removal of her tights and underwear and the way in which her outer clothing was moved, and how she was positioned, all pointed. to her being violated.
Starting point is 00:19:20 The pressure was on to find her killer. Investigators decided to gather all ANPR records for Nissan Micra's that passed within a two-mile radius of the crime scene on the night of Sabina's murder and between the time the killer left the park and about two hours before. And there were hundreds of owners that needed to be looked into. After about 60 have been ruled out,
Starting point is 00:19:40 one particular vehicle stood out, not just because it was a newer silver Nissan Micra, but because it wasn't usually in this area ever. The ANPR records show how many times a license plate has ever been recorded traveling into a specific area and this Nissan Micra had been purchased and registered in the last year or so in a town called Eastbourne, which is about an hour and a half away from Kidbrook. It's a seaside town in East Sussex, England.
Starting point is 00:20:08 And the only time this vehicle had ever traveled to London was on the day of Sabina's murder. And I mean, that would definitely stand out. It's like they came there just to kill her. So who was this person and why would they target her? Investigators didn't know the why, but now they knew the who. The owner of that car was a 36-year-old man named Cochie Selimach. They run a simple background check on him and they learn he has no prior conviction. So naturally, they were perplexed.
Starting point is 00:20:38 They wondered if this guy had anything to do with this crime or if it was just his car that was used to commit it. It seems unusual that a person with no criminal, would commit such a heinous murder. But remember, just because there's no record doesn't mean they haven't committed a crime. Maybe they just haven't gotten caught yet. And now once again, they need to backtrack to find out what Cochee was doing in the days
Starting point is 00:21:00 leading up to Sabina's murder and who he was. So they do a little more digging. Cochee was born in Albison, Albania, to his father, Bashkim, and his mother, Tephta, and he spent his childhood in one of the poorest parts of Elbason. The apartment they lived in was small, in was small and it was located at the top of a crumbling set of stairs in an old five-story
Starting point is 00:21:20 building. Cochee's neighbors remember him as a nice boy that used to play with other children when he was growing up. There really are no jobs available in this area, so the unemployment rate is very high, and many residents are impoverished. To make ends meet, they usually resort to selling homegrown vegetables, second-end clothing, or other odds and ends as street vendors, but since many people in this community can't afford food and clothing, it's not a booming business. It's a very sad situation. Cochi's father was lucky enough to be able to to work as a builder and brought in some extra money, while Cochie's mother stayed home to raise him,
Starting point is 00:21:50 his older brother, and two sisters. Her family were cattle farmers, and they lived in the countryside in a very remote part of Albania. The Salamage family was known to their community, and Cochie's parents were considered to be good, respectable people. Cochie's father knew they were very poor, and that there were no opportunities for young men where they lived. So we had high hopes that his sons would find opportunities elsewhere.
Starting point is 00:22:12 So 20 years earlier in 2001, Kochi, who had dropped out of high school was 16 years old, and he left Albania with his older brother. By 2015, 30-year-old Kochi had other plans, and that is when he immigrated to England. However, his move to the UK wasn't for the same noble reasons as Sabina's parents. He came there illegally. Cochi paid someone to transport him to England hidden in the back of a truck. He arrived in the seaside city of Eastbourne and began establishing himself by starting to work odd jobs here and there. Ultimately, he found a job at ESK Car Wash during the day,
Starting point is 00:22:49 and he would deliver pizzas for dominoes at night so he could get ahead. His co-worker said that he was very ambitious. He wanted to do better in life, especially because he had met a Romanian woman in 2007 who was nine years older than him and he wanted to settle down. Her name is Ayanella Gorgina, and she's a European national. The two began dating even though it seemed like they were a bit mismatched, not just because of the age gap, but neither one of the of them practiced the same religion or spoke each other's languages.
Starting point is 00:23:17 Kochi was Muslim and Ayanella was Christian. He wasn't religious, but she was. However, both of them knew enough Italian to be able to communicate with one another. And those who knew them said they were truly in love. There were pictures on Ayanella's Facebook page that included a photo of them smiling together with the caption saying, quote, London with my lover forever together, end quote. Another picture shows them in Brighton.
Starting point is 00:23:42 Cochee is dressed nicely in a dark suit and tie, and Nianella is wearing a strapless turquoise dress, and they look very happy together, just an ordinary couple. That it wasn't just a relationship of convenience in order for, let's say, Cochee to stay in the UK. Because she was a citizen of the European Union, she was allowed to live in the country legally, while Cochee was still in the country illegally. But as luck would have it, just before Brexit was signed into law, the government announced that spouses of even of EU citizens would be allowed to stay in the country legally and permanently. So it does make you wonder.
Starting point is 00:24:18 Did Cochee want to marry her to stay? But instead it seemed like they were genuinely in love. Friends said they were very affectionate with one another, and by November 5th of 2018 on Bonfire Night, they were married at City Hall among a group of their friends. Bonfire Night, I did not know this. It celebrated across the UK. There's fireworks, bonfires, sparklers, and toffee apples.
Starting point is 00:24:40 And the reason they do this is because it's the anniversary of a failed attempt to blow up the houses of parliament. So after getting married, the couple moved into an apartment above the shops on the high street in Eastbourne. Ionella ended up getting a job as a part-time belly dancer and as a maid in a nearby hotel, while Cochie switched to working as a gas station attendant so that he could save more money for a better apartment. He told his friends that marrying Ionella was the best thing that ever happened for him. Cochie still went back to Albania to see his family every now and then. His last trip home was September of 2020. So with everything investigators pulled up on Cochi
Starting point is 00:25:19 from the background check, interviewing coworkers and friends, and even people from his own town, they wondered, was this really the guy they were looking for? What reason would he have to murder Sabina? It really wasn't making sense. There were no known connections between them at all. However, Cochee did look like the man that they saw. saw on the footage, holding up that red item in his hand in Pegler Square on the night of the
Starting point is 00:25:44 murder. And he drove the exact same car that was spotted there. I mean, he is either the most unluckiest man alive at this very moment, or he was involved. Remember that they're still backtracking his steps. And as they gather more ANPR data from tracking the Nissan, they see that he had been at the Grand Hotel in Eastbourne on the same day of Sabina's murder, Friday, September 17th. This hotel is only a five-minute drive from Cochie's home, so they wonder what business he would have over there since they didn't think he would need or even be able to stay in a place like that because if you're not familiar, because I wasn't. This is a very luxurious Oceanside Hotel. I took one look and I've never seen anything like it.
Starting point is 00:26:26 The name says it all. It's grand. It's extravagant. It's ivory tower after tower of rooms and inside it's just gorgeous. It looks like royalty would live there. It's around, 325 pounds a night, which is roughly $420 U.S. dollars. So this is a really nice hotel. One that you would stay at for a special occasion, unless you're very wealthy. So what was the occasion? Well, here's where things get interesting. Police contacted the hotel to inquire about whether they had a record of Cochee being there as a guest, and they said yes. The staff explained that Cochee had come into the hotel on Tuesday, September 14th, and asked to pre-book a room for Friday the 17th.
Starting point is 00:27:09 Well, since it was so last minute, they only had one room still available, and it was even more costly than usual. But he said he didn't care. He was very determined to get this room. He worked at a gas station for minimum wage, so this was well outside his standard of living. Investigators wondered what this hotel
Starting point is 00:27:28 would have to do with the murder, since it's over an hour and a half away from Kidbrook. Well, that's when the staff explained. They had an issue with Cochie. When he came in to check in on Friday, they ended up calling Sussex Police non-emergency line to report an incident. Interesting.
Starting point is 00:27:46 At around 1.15 PM on Friday afternoon, Kochi arrived in the lobby to check into his room. This was captured on video, and I have this clip. You can see him in the bottom left of the screen. He comes through the door carrying a duffel bag and makes his way to the front desk. During check-in, he becomes irate. He's yelling at the staff when they ask him
Starting point is 00:28:05 for his credit card to prepay for the room. He said, you already have my banking details. Why do I need to pay before I've even stayed? He was causing a scene and making the staff uneasy. But it wasn't just because he was being difficult. It was because some of them knew who he was. Yeah. His estranged wife worked at this hotel as a housekeeper. A strained wife. Cochi and Ionella had split up a month before this in August. Ionella decided to move out due to things not working out between them anymore. The staff was well aware that they were not in the best terms, so it struck them as very odd that he was trying to check into a room at the hotel where she worked. It was a red flag. They knew he lived close by
Starting point is 00:28:48 that he didn't need a place to stay, so they weren't quite sure what he would be doing there and something just didn't feel right about the situation. They figured that he most likely wanted to impress her, a last-ditch effort to try to get her to take him back, to show her that he could afford to give her the nicer things in life. Instead of being an employee, she would be an honored guests that night, but it didn't work out. About an hour after he settled in, he messaged Ionella on WhatsApp from his room on the third floor while she was working on the floor below him and she had no idea at this time that he was staying at the hotel because she was busy working and was not notified about it yet. He asked her to meet him in the parking lot,
Starting point is 00:29:28 just to have a chat, without mentioning that he had just checked in at the same hotel she was working at, she thought that he had just driven over to her work to talk about their relationship. And at this point, they had been broken up for about six weeks. He had made a number of attempts to try to get her back. At this point, he appeared desperate. And it did seem like it had something to do with his citizenship and also his pride. The truth was, I and Ella wasn't interested in getting back together, but she hoped if they talked one final time, he would get the closure he needed and get the message that she was done, and then maybe he would finally leave her alone.
Starting point is 00:30:04 Many people in similar situations as Zionella feel the exact same way. They hope that they'll be able to get through to this person that they once loved if they just try hard enough, but people like Kochi cannot be convinced, and no amount of persuasion is gonna change their mind. They feel entitled to control and dominate their partners.
Starting point is 00:30:23 They liken them to possessions, and they believe they have ownership over them. And this sense of entitlement is often reinforced by their inability to empathize with others, all of which makes it nearly impossible for them to recognize or accept that their actions are unwanted and invasive. And if they can't accept that, that what they're doing is wrong,
Starting point is 00:30:41 then they definitely won't be able to accept that someone wouldn't want them to do it to them anymore. But in this case, Ionella decided to acquiesce. She met him outside the hotel in the parking lot. He wanted to talk inside his car, which was parked outside, and he got in the driver's seat, while she got in the passenger side. And they began their chat.
Starting point is 00:30:58 chat. But midway through the conversation, Kochi is convinced that in order to make everything right between them, all they have to do is just have sex. Because maybe being intimate would remind Ayanella of what they have, their bond.

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