TrueLife - Carissa Caudill - Addiction, Nutrition, & Fitness

Episode Date: March 24, 2022

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Darkness struck, a gut-punched theft, Sun ripped away, her health bereft. I roar at the void. This ain't just fate, a cosmic scam I spit my hate. The games rigged tight, shadows deal, blood on their hands, I'll never kneel. Yet in the rage, a crack ignites, occulted sparks cut through the nights. The scars my key, hermetic and stark. To see, to rise, I hunt in the dark. fumbling, furious through ruins

maze, lights my war cry born from the blaze. The poem is Angels with Rifles. The track, I Am Sorrow, I Am Lust by Codex Serafini. Check out the entire song at the end of the cast. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the True Life podcast. We are here with an amazing human being, a nutritionist, a personal trainer,

and someone who's been on a pretty spiritual journey for quite some time and enjoys helping people. All her links are below where you can check her out. But I'm going to let her introduce herself a little bit. The very beautiful Carissa Cadill. How are you? Hi. Good morning. Good afternoon.

Whatever time it is for everybody. I'm good. Thank you. I'm very, very happy to be here and happy to connect with you. Again, we were chatting before, what, 30 years, something like that. We grew up on the same playground. in elementary school or junior high. So, yeah, it's a pleasure to connect.

And it's really nice to see that we're aligned with the work that we do so that we can put this little chat together and hopefully share some good stuff. Yeah, absolutely. For those that don't know, Krista has been on a pretty amazing journey. She's been practicing yoga. She's been working with nutritionists. she has been studying the sober lifestyle. And what can you tell people like, how did you get on this journey? Was there something in particular that happened or was it something that was always inside

you? Or what do you think was the spark that made this thing happen? Well, it's been quite, it's been a long journey. But I'd say in my teen years, my early teen years, you know, the drinking just kind of came along with the slumber parties and the weekend get-togethers with the young kids. It started for me in junior high. And high school, it just expanded and got a little bit more, a little bit more. And through the years, you know, that party lifestyle turned into a coping mechanism for me throughout life.

And so I reached a point in my early 20s to where I knew I needed to quit drinking. and I went to a treatment center and I felt like after close to a year of being sober, you know, I got this thing. I can do life again. So I went back out for 16 years and I approached life on my terms and I tried to do the manageable drinking on my own. And I hit a point at bottom at 39 years old where I was just at an all-time bottom. And I knew that I was in trouble health-wise. My dreams that I had ever wanted for myself were not coming.

I was not living any kind of dream that I had ever wanted for myself. And I knew I was at this cusp of an age where I was starting to notice other women in their mid-40s, early 50s, it looked just so healthy and vibrant. And they were just, you know, business women or just athletic women, yoga, work, whatever. They were just living life. And then I was looking at the people I was with and they were more party people or it was doing a lot of golfing at the time. And so drinking and golfing went really hand in hand. So that's another. I love the sport first off, but that was another reason that made me love it even more.

But I was starting to really look at these, you know, these paths of where I was. And it was just this inside feeling like I had in my 20s where I just knew that I was, I was really shorting myself of a genuine life that I really wanted to live. And so it was beyond the health. I was having some health problems and some weight problems. I was 50 pounds heavier. I was like 170. My scale was like a right of around the 170 mark. And that was my baby weight when I was full term with my kids. So I was I reached that weight with just the lifestyle I was living, heavy drinking. And I was falling into deep depression. And just it was really just knowing that I was doing this to myself. It was a self

sabotage. And it was a cycle. And it was really hard for me to, come to terms that um because i had a love hate relationship with alcohol and i loved it so much it would like feel warm and comfortable and it was my coping mechanism but then yet it was this culprit to a domino effect of problems and issues and so it's definitely kept me in a very low vibration so at 39 years old i um i made some phone calls to some people that i also knew we're on this journey and i asked for some help And it's just been not an easy journey, but I'm seven, seven and a half years sober. And, you know, I have to share, you know, before a year before I got sober, you know, I hit this emotional bottom.

And I remember going to the library. I don't know why I went to the library. I just went to the library because it was just like this place where I didn't know what I was going to do there, but I just started journaling. And I took a notebook with me and I started journaling and journaling. And in this journal, it's so neat to be able to look back on it because now it's the power of that intention and the power of like when you put something out there into the universe and you actually really feel it. You're not just writing something and checking the box like a goal list, that you really truly want something that you're passionate about. And I wrote that one day I want to be one of those women that are healthy and vibrant and share. somehow be able to be strong enough to share with other women that are in the same spot as I was.

And so unfortunately, my kids had to grow up watching their mom. You know, I worked and I did all the things on the outside, but on the inside I was really hurting and I drink a lot. So my kids, your kids feel that. Your kids know when you're a present or not emotionally available. So anyways, I wanted to break out of it and somehow be. be at a point in my life where I can go back and help others. I didn't know if it would ever happen, but I knew that in my journaling session within that time span that I spent in the library, I didn't even open a book in there.

I just use that space, I guess, to journal. And so, you know, I'm really, I'm living that right now. I get, I'm living that. So, you know, I work in a treatment center for substance abuse. I work with people all over the world that come in. And I'm a fitness coordinator. I teach yoga and breath work. And then I have my own nutrition business, nutritional recovery.

I work with women virtually, men, women, even teenagers. I've been working with teenagers to help get them on the right food path with nutrients that are athletic and want to start making better choices with foods because those better habits start in our teens, especially, well, in our younger years, but especially those teens when the drinking and all that starts. So it's a way for me to give back and I truly heal through the people I get to work with when I get to work with teenagers and help their parents and them kind of connect on a food level for the internal because it's cognitive as well. What we put into our body, food holds vibration and it affects our cognitive health and it affects our self-esteem. And I know as a teenager I broke out,

I was heavy. I went through weights like this. I'd gain 20 pounds, lose 20 pounds. Gain. So anyways, that's that's in a, that's my story. That's the journey. Yeah, it's, it's super inspiring to hear. Like I feel, I think everybody goes on. I think everybody has issues where they, they ride these waves of like, oh, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that. And then they hit a roadblock. and they fall. And so whenever I hear somebody tell their story about a journey about, like they get to a point where they're like, you know what?

Not anymore. I'm done. Like I get goosebumps when I think about that. And when you tell that story, like that's what I think of. And it's such an empowering thing and such a beautiful thing to see the human emotion come out and conquer fear. Now, you mentioned an interesting point.

You said a lot of interesting points, but I wanted to start here is that when you got to this point where you started journaling and finding a quiet space to, to, you know, begin the process. You all, did you also start beginning to change your diet? And how are those, how do you think your nutrition, your fitness and your ability to get over addiction are all connected? Do they feed off each other? Is one cause the other? Or are they synonymous? How does that work for you? Well, when I first started my journaling, I was in just utter pain. I was in utter pain.

My children had to go live with their dad. And I, you know, I had this time where I had to get my life together. And I was just in this utter pain. And I didn't want to go to a bar. I didn't go hang out with my friends. And I almost didn't feel safe to go anywhere. So I just found, like, you know, because I was just this like, where do I do with myself? You know, so I was just the journaling and was inspired by just utter pain.

I just, I was doing a lot of praying. I went to the church as I went, you know, then I hired a trainer. Like I did the trainer, but that didn't help keep me sober. You know, I, that wasn't working. So during this time, I, for a year, I was just doing a lot of effort, like hiring a trainer, going to church, finding youth groups, you know, or finding groups to, you know, volunteer. getting a different job, journaling, like I was trying all these things. You know, I am a part of a traditional 12-step group, which helps me.

I'm going to be careful, like, with the, you know, it's, but there are traditional groups where you can be a part of being able to be around other people in recovery. So I did join other recovery groups after a year. When I first got sober, it was really, I surrounded myself with a bunch of other people that were sober. But that first year before was just trying everything else but that. Because it's really hard to go into a room and to admit to someone else, I have a problem with alcohol. It was really hard. I mean, it was just that was like, I don't know if it was.

ego or just truly letting go of that one thing I thought I can control because, you know, I wanted to feel like I had control, you know, and it was hard to admit. As soon as I started admitting, you know, I do have a problem with this drinking thing. And I need help. It was like it was so embarrassing and humbling at the same time, but it brought people closer to me. And then all of a sudden, I didn't feel so lonely. And then I would share it with another person.

and then they you know and they'd if they didn't have a problem going on it was like oh my god my uncle or my mom or my sister or my husband or you know like there's i don't think there's one family out there that's not affected by addiction i agree if it's not you it's someone within your family dynamics so when i get to share i just had to hit that point where i was in enough pain where i had to talk about it I didn't have my kids with me. I was just try almost at a point. Like, what's there to live for? You know?

And it was just like, I knew something had to shift. And I'm like, what are these women doing that get to look like that? I'm going to the gym. And I'm, but it's not just like seeing what they look like on the outside. Like I could feel their joy through their smiles and the white in their eyes. And I wanted that. I'm like, what is that? I want that.

You know? I just kept seeking. I just kept seeking. I was in enough pain where I knew it was like, if I go this way any longer, I'm going to die. And it may not be physically death, but it's going to be a spiritual. I was like, they had this soul sickness going on. It was like I had this spiritual pain. It was just like this energy was so low. And I couldn't lift it. So yeah, it started with the journaling, wanting it had enough. out what I wanted and I didn't even know what I wanted till I wrote it all out and I cried and I cried and in the in the journal there's like wet spots in the pen there's so much tears but I wanted it and it's so crazy because it's in us and when I get to work with other people that are new into breaking out of not the dark so to speak but their consciousness is just you know glassed over and they're numbed out and they're numbed out and they And they get to like kind of come into this new. I get to see that.

You know, they come to me when they're on their first days of detoxing. And then I get to see them within the first, you know, week, second week, third week, and train them and work with them and make sure they drink. You know, it's just like so beautiful. And then this and the most talented. And it doesn't discriminate. You know, it doesn't, it's the most talented people. And I don't know, it's just, it's so beautiful to be able to see people break out of it.

But there's maintenance. You know, we have to stay in recovery. So anybody can go without picking up a drink, you know, if they really wanted to, they could, you know, really just fight it and say, I'm not drinking today. But it's the quality of life and that internal, like, it doesn't have to be a struggle. You know, it could be a beautiful journey. but you got to do some work. You got to find out the why you drink, you know, and what led you to drink.

And what are the things you like to do? And I like to go back to childhood because there's this inner child and all of us. It's like, what did you like to do as a kid? That's the first thing I asked me, well, what do you like to do as a kid? They're like, I don't know. I like to swim. Well, then let's get you swimming. They're like, yeah, that's, you know.

Like I kind of like to use to surf or boogie, but, well, let's get you on a boot. You know, they're like, yeah, but we got to get you healthy enough to be able to do that. They're like, I'm not too old. Like, no, you're not too old. Like, are you kidding? So I don't know. It's just I had to go through those stages when I was, like I said, when I was sober, first got sober. I was like 50 pounds overweight and I went straight to sugar.

All like the people I was hanging out with were like, just eat the donuts, drink the coffee. it's better it's way better than picking up a drink and i was like that sounds right you know and but it was that and dopamine hit it was the serotonin that sugar was kicking i mean it's just like cocaine you know like kicking in and um then i had a whole other battle with food and then i'm like wait a minute i don't want to just eat my problems away and numb out this isn't why i got sober but i had to go through that journey my first year of sobriety and um then i joined a fitness team and I went to the gym. It's pretty cool. I went to the gym and I was so embarrassed to even going to the gym because I was so out of shape. And then I just kept seeing this fitness team,

this one man with all his girls like the fitness team, you know, it was like a sport. It wasn't just girls hanging out looking pretty in the gym. Like these girls were like boot camp and in the gym and they were competitive trainers. They were competing. You know, their training to compete. And I wasn't even like, I looked at them in awe and admired, but very intimidated. And then after so many months, I finally built the courage to like talk to the coach. And then he took me on. And I stayed with that team.

I hired him and he actually sponsored me. And I became a trainer, the first female trainer on the team. and I got certified because I had that athleticism in me since the child. So that's why I'm so in tune to what we used to do as children for athletics. And then he got me competing. He got me competing. And I was doing the bikini competitions and I won first place all natural. And it was just these crazy experiences I got to do since I got sober.

And I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. I became a flight attendant for a little bit. I was doing the personal training. Then I was managing a golf course at the food and beverage area. I was doing a little bartending, but managing. So, yeah, it's been a journey. And so now I get to work with people in recovery. And that's where my heart's at.

That's just where my heart's at. Yeah, it sounds like it's such a story of, Like I always think of biblical scripture sometimes, whether it's like, I've been reading a lot of Siddhartha. And it's just a story of like all of us, how we go through these different stages of life. And when you, the story you told almost sounds like a rebirth. Like you got to this point where part of you died and then another part started growing back. And I think when that happens to people, it gives you this rare ability to see it happening inside other people. And like that's, it seems like a gift you have.

Like the way you talk about helping other people, you know, I can physically see it when you smile. Like you get real joy out of it. And that's probably why you're so successful at it. I was going to ask you this, how does it feel like when you see someone for the first time going through some of the issues that you went through? Like, what are some of the strategies you use to help that person? There's so many different ones because I get the opportunity. to work with young girls that are 18 and up, you know, and then I get women my age and I get older, the senior, you know, and then I get the male, the younger, the younger guy, the 18. And so I get a variety.

And so I'm kind of being broad here because I work a full-time job in a treatment center. And I also have my own business where I work nutrition. And I also do a little sober coaching, life coaching. It just kind of depends on who comes to me if it feels like it's a connect. So I have different strategies. But I really, it's like I had shared before the call, I don't think we were recording. Yeah. Through so many years, I was so blocked and numbed out through my drinking and emotional states of just putting up blocks and keeping.

keeping a disconnect with people and I felt so deeply and it was just a lot of us in addiction do we just have a deep deep need and when we numb out and I hate to speak for other people but I will say for myself but it's this need where it's like this you need you you're hurting so much or you feel so much and you kind of can't handle it so you numb out more um So when you remove the alcohol, like I'm going to speak for myself, I've grown to become very empathically inclined without even knowing. So I can feel the emotion. And I'm going to give this as an example.

When I teach yoga, I teach yoga five nights a week in the treatment center and I do it right before they go to bed, 830 to 9.30 at night. And I dimmed the room and I light the candles like little. battery candles and we set the tone and I incorporate some breathwork and stretching and yoga. And I'm always asked, you know, what type of yoga do you do? You know, is it going to be hard, intermediate? And I just said, you know, it's restorative. It's yen. You know, it's just very. And I said, you know, actually I said, I read the room. I pick up off your guys's energy. It's an emotional day of therapy for everybody and they come into the room.

I can feel it. I can feel all that emotion in the room and I can incorporate. Like my routine's never the same every night. I just incorporate the right stretches to help relieve tension like in the heart chakra, the hips, help release tension in the hips. So I just kind of read the room and incorporate to their needs. So that's just one strategy of kind of just suiting everybody's needs. And that's in a group setting.

But one-on-one, I don't know. You'll kind of know automatically if it's a connect. You know, I like, I do like to ask, you know, ask them what their goals are. What are they wanting for themselves? You know, why? Why did they quit drinking? You know, why are they making this change? And that's a big reason.

Sometimes it's because you got the nudge from the judge or your wife is making you or your husband's making you and you don't really want it. So that's not going to be exactly the best fit. If it's like you don't really want it and you're just doing it because you have to and you want me to just like, I don't know, just show up. You can tell someone you're showing up. But if you really, really want it, I can feel that and I can connect. with you.

And it's like this language of the heart, you know. And I will not necessarily share what's going on with me, but they know I understand by. I just want them to understand more than anything that I understand. And if I don't, I'm not, I don't. But if I understand and we connect and I've already been through like that eye of the needle, at least I know the way to pull you through it. And so I don't know if I'm kind of speaking in code maybe. No, it's perfect.

It's, it's, I think that there's something to be said about language and, you know, not just our words, but the way we carry ourselves. Like you can totally tell if someone's bullshitting you or if they really mean what they say or if they want to do something or if they're just there because they have to. And, you know, I think that stems from, well, I think it stems from this. Let me ask, let me put it this way. In my life, I've found that looking back on some of the tragedies have happened in my life, you know, I think to myself recently, like maybe everything, all these things happen to me

so that I can be who I am today. And I found it to be kind of therapeutic. And when I speak to people like yourself who've been through difficult tragedies with their families and, you know, trying to figure out who they are and battling with addiction or why they battle with addiction, or maybe some people have been molested or maybe some people have been in abusive relationships. I found it like almost cathartic or just rewarding to think for a moment that there's some force bigger than us. You know, be a God or Allah or Buddha, whatever it is you choose to label that force. Like that force has decided to put you in those situations.

And I think of it like, look, I'm going to put you in this horrible situation. It's going to be horrible, but I want you to know that I'm putting you through this because I think you're strong enough to come out of it and then help other people come through it. And when you do come through tragedy, whether it's addiction or the loss of a child, when you come through something like that, maybe not right afterwards, but you will get stronger. Something dies inside you, but something stronger grows back. And I think that that is part of our evolution, as people, as humans, as intelligent, And that is our job. Look, I'm sorry this horrible thing happened and it's going to suck and there's going to be consequences, but please go out and find the other people so it's easier for them. And when you do that, like it's just one per like you are making the world better, Chris.

I love it. Like you're helping people, not only where you're at, but let me shift gears here. You have this incredible idea about a DNA-based diet. Can we start talking about that a little bit? What is that? How did you get there? And what does it do for us? How does it work?

Yeah, that's really exciting. That's probably my favorite part because nutrition and learning how to eat can do, you know, for the better reasonings of my health, not just to lose weight. Yes, I wanted to lose weight. But more important, like I said, when I first got sober, like I had no idea what was going on with my body. And nobody in the recovery world was talking about nutrition. and nobody in the fitness arena that I jumped into was talking about addiction.

So I had this, these wires were crossed where I just knew eat chicken and rice to get on stage and get in a bikini. And to me, I didn't know anything other than like lose weight, healthy, right? Okay, bikini, fitness, like I love to doing it right. Well, it's not sustainable. You know, it looks great and it wasn't sustainable. It's just not, and it wasn't the healthiest way to live. So then I'm in the addiction. We're just eat donuts, drink coffee.

It's better than a grain. So now I'm like on the opposite ends of the spectrum, all in. It's like the addictive, you know, all in with the donuts, all in with the coffee or all in with the chicken and rice. It's like, so. through my nutrition journey and my health and wellness journey, it's like seven and half years now, and to sustain a healthy weight and sustain a healthy lifestyle for the right reasons, the cognitive, the cravings, the sugar cravings, the alcohol cravings, all of that. I came across this genetic DNA testing a few years back.

And I had studied it and read about it and I liked it. And, you know, I tried it. And then I did got some blood work done. So I did, you know, I've always tried those testings for myself. So I want to learn more and more about how my body operates. And then I just, I started realizing, you know, this is something that like everyone should know. Especially, I mean, not just for people early in recovery, but everyone should know, like how, you know, how your body has a tendency to, react and metabolize different foods, you know.

Not everybody's meant for the keto diet. Yes, if you eliminate, if you eat just a bunch of fat, healthy fats, I mean, there's the healthy keto and the unhealthy keto. You see people out that eating fries and all the fried food keto. Then you see the healthy keto. So if you're going to do it, do the healthy keto. But not everybody's body is meant or has the ability, I should say, has the ability to consume and break down the fats like another person.

So everybody's genetics are different. And same thing with protein. And some people are in the lucky club gene and some people aren't. And most of us know, like if you're genetically inclined, you know, if you go to the gym, you get results really fast. but it is nice to know where you're at. This test allows me to better coach someone in the aspect of nutrition, helps us put us in the right direction and focus on the right foods with proteins, fats,

and carbs. And then it gives you a nutrient breakdown of where your body may have more of a tendency to be deficient and like vitamin D. D, B, C, a lot of the deficiencies that a lot of us in early addiction come across. And even in not early addiction, a lot of people in the world now is. And then in the fitness, body composition, how your body responds to cardio. Some people may have, it comes all in the testing. It shows maybe your body would work better to do long-term cardio, you know, 30 to 45 minutes,

moderate cardio. You're going to have more fat loss. Your body's going to burn more fat that way versus sprinting. Some people might have that sprint ability to lose fat faster. So it just kind of allows me to help navigate. And for the people who have a little bit more of a hurdle in the genetic, it gives us a little bit more grace. Like, be easy on yourself. You know, it doesn't mean it's not going to happen. It just means we just need to kind of like modify and like work in this area a little bit more. It's always inevitable. You exercise, you eat right, you get good sleep, you know, keep your stress level down, the self-care, all that stuff. It's inevitable. You're going to get healthier. You're going to lose weight. Some people just faster than others. So this test just allows us.

And it's awesome to be able to see it on paper and go, okay, this is me. You only have to take the test one time. It's your genetics. Your blueprint doesn't change. It's your DNA. The fingerprint doesn't change. And that's it. So it's just something I like to incorporate to help me just get to know the person I'm working with internally.

And then we can discuss traits and genetic, you know, the genes. And I want people to be able to fit into their own genes. That's so good. That should be your tagline. That's beautiful. That's fully, that is right on the cusp of personalized medicine. And if you look where we're going right now, at least if you read a lot of the literature coming out of some of the modern medicine schools, you'll see that sites like 23 and Me or Ancestry.com or even some of these other ones, like Dr. Rhonda Patrick has this one you can put your information into.

and the future, I think, is definitely going towards personalized medicine with your genetic code, what you can eat. And I was curious, if you're, let's say that I sign up and you and I start working on my profile, does my, would you be able to write me like a, like a fitness workout code that goes with diet and eating? And then on top of that, the second part of this question is, do you take notes on someone's psyche because while there's different genetic testing that can be done, I think someone such as yourself, a counselor such as yourself or a coach like yourself, could really add to that particular

system by writing down a set of personality traits or ideas about how that person thinks. There might be some patterns there that you could kind of pioneer. What do you got on those two questions? Yeah, actually, I do do that. that's you know there that goes into the encumbered under the coaching so i do incorporate some coaching in with that and i do with the accountability i do us every sunday an accountability and i so i will create for each client um a way to incorporate healthy habits based on you based on you i mean not everybody's going to fall into meditation and prayer.

You know, so there are other things to kind of wane you into some healthier things. It may be the hot, cold therapy, you know, taking a nice hot bath, lighting some candles, listening, you know, listening to whatever you want to, journaling for just a few minutes, five minutes, and then taking a nice cold shower after, you know, that hot, cold therapy, that adrenaline,

as soon as your body triggers that little bit of adrenaline, which that cold water spike does, that really shocks the body. And it also helps your metabolism throughout the rest of the day. So there are some other things that I can incorporate. The psyche, I don't get too much into the psyche. I get more, like I had said in the beginning, it's more of this emotional connection.

that it's like a language of the heart that I can really feel someone's needs of what what their needs are. And I like to try and incorporate ways for them to fulfill their own needs without needing it from their husband or needing it, you know, from their, like the codependent from your children or, you know, needing to be, you know, just needing to go shop or needing to go, you know, do like this, to fulfill that void in other ways within yourself, I really like to help focus on that because that does really come out in our behaviors of why we do certain things, impulsively eat, say, F it, I'm just going to eat this thing. Or it could just be, I'm at a party and I'm going to celebrate and have a piece of cake. That's totally different. But when we're just in this mood and we're

emotionally eating, you know, I do like to really just get to know the person's needs of what they and why they want to, like, why do you want to lose weight? You know, did you just recently become single and you went to revenge body and you want to go out and meet somebody or, you know, and that's okay too because I've been there. That was my, that was my bikini body journey. I get it. And I did it. But it's, so it's not necessarily the healthiest mindset. I wasn't working with anybody at that time to help tame me down and say,

whoa, woman. Let's do, make sure you're doing this for the right reason. Like, I didn't have anybody kind of navigating me in that area. After I hung up, I didn't say, I hate to say. hung up with the competition bikini and stopped competing is when I really started opening my heart to that deeper level of what I needed. And I was hurt. There was so much hurt from, you know, being made fun of.

My weight was made fun of. You know, I was never, you know, I chose relationships where they picked me apart. heated on. I was, you know, all those things. I wanted to feel good enough. You know, I wanted to, and yeah, I wanted to get healthy and I wanted, but I got sidetracked, you know, so I didn't have anybody to really help navigate me of your deeper level of what does Carissa need.

What does Carissa? Why does Carissa want to do this bikini competition? Why does it? Nobody asked me that. I was just like, you know, all these other reasons. All I had 100 reasons. So yeah, I just really like to get to know your need, your why, and focus on that and help you just become the best version of yourself for all the right reasons. That's it.

Because otherwise it's, you know, it's wasted energy. It's energy that vengeful energy. It's just low vibration energy, spiteful energy, like all that stuff is toxic. so I really like to keep your your whole journey as healthy as possible. And I guess that does go into the mindset, into the psyche. It all, it's like this mind, like in yoga, I like to say, connect your breath with your heartbeat, you know, because then you really feel the alignment of your mind and head. And when you make a decision and you start doing this long enough,

you'll know if you make a decision and it's straight from here. it's just straight here. And then I also make decisions and it's straight here. And I'm like later on, I'm like, oh, man, I should have thought that through a little bit. But I know when I make decisions and then my mind and my heart is completely aligned and it feels right. Whatever the decision is, I'm like, yes, this feels right. Like, I know. And I want that for people I work with.

I want you to know why you're choosing the right foods. Why you're losing the weight, why you're making decisions, because how we do one thing is how we do everything. So those are such great points. Like if you don't know your why, then you're not going to have the ability to continue when times get tough because you don't know why you're doing it. You know, and on the topic of your heart and mind being aligned, like I recently read this book. I'm going to send you a copy. It's phenomenal. It's called the embodied mind.

The gentleman's name is Thomas Verney. He graduated from Stanford and I think, I think maybe it was Harvard, one of those Ivy League schools. I think it was Harvard in like 197. And he wrote a book. His first book was called The Heart and Mind of the Unborn Child or something like that. And he talked about how we begin to develop patterns that will be forever in our lives before we're even born. His second book, the one that I'm going to tell you about, is that he's done. done a lot of recent studies that show the way in which we form memories, the way in which we

think is not only in the brain, but in every cell of the body. And every single cell of the body is like its own brain. And he spoke specifically about people that got heart transplants and they began to take on a new personality. He talked about the different neurotransmitters that are throughout the body. And when you said to me, like, George, when my heart and my mind is align. Like, I know it's the right thing. Like, that's your, that's your body working perfectly together to come up with the right decision. And then on another side note, I was thinking, when you do yoga, and also in this book, he was saying that when people are on the same frequency, like, if you and I are running together or if you and I are working out together, our heartbeat

somewhat synchronized. And that is when you, you know, when you're with the person you love, whether it's your child or your lover and you're waking up or you're sitting at dinner or whatever, the chances of your heartbeat being aligned is probably pretty good. And that's probably a pretty opportune time to have a discussion about things that are real. It just excites me for what you do. And to see the future coming for nutrition, for, you know, recovery and for all these things. It's an exciting time. I got one more topic I wanted to ask you.

Well, I got a few more. But what do you think about? It seems to me that all of us are some, going through some form of abuse, you know, and it doesn't matter if you're white or black or it seems from like a very early time, all of us have been kind of beaten up. And we get into our 30s or our 40s and we're like, we treat other people much better than we would treat ourselves. It seems like we have this inner dialogue that's so negative. And it's the more people I talk to, like I can hear it in their words like, oh, I can never do that. You know, just like these

little, little jabs they do to themselves. And I always got to stop and say, hey, don't do that. What are you doing? Don't do that. Don't tell yourself that. You would never say that to somebody else. Why do you think we have this collective guilt or this collective anger at ourselves? Where does that stem from? That's inner child work.

That's inner child work right there. I have done a lot of inner child work. I started doing inner child work. I was introduced to it my first year of sobriety. And it's deep. It's deep stuff because it makes you look back on your fur, how you grew up. And, you know, I grew up in a, I mean, I had a good upbringing, but there was, I mean, our parents only know what they know.

Right. And our families only know what they know. And none of it's meant like pun intended. You know, nobody's mad, I don't think, you know, or maybe when they're mad, I don't know. But then we're just hard on ourselves. But it does start from that child. That child is told no. No.

Or what's wrong with you? What the heck's wrong with you? Or we're not talk to. We're not communicated to. So we don't understand. So then we start, at least I'm going to speak for it. I'm not like a doctor. I don't know.

But this is my experience. And from the research that I have done and the inner child work that I've done has taught me that it was all learned from a very, very, very young age. Either someone told you something and you believed it or they punished you and you didn't understand why. So you just thought I'm bad. And so those short, they're like short circuits. The work I've done, I've done some work, and I was told it was short circuits. I had short circuits. So we, of those belief systems, of those belief systems that carried on through the years.

And that's probably, there is a chemical reaction to alcohol. You know, I take a drink that says, you know, me after three drinks, my body's like, yay, more for the average person. And they're like, whoa, I've kind of had enough. You know, but me, it's more, more, more. But that's the chemical reaction. But then also underlying from that, you got this short circuit of saying of depression. So it's like putting, you know, alcohol is a depressant.

So you're putting fuel on the fire of, you know, something's wrong with me. Or, you know, you might be going through a breakup or you might be going through a hard time at work or find it whatever. And you're just short circuiting back to that old belief system of something. things wrong with me or I'm not good enough or, you know, I let I'm failing again or I, you know, I let someone down again. It's just this vibrational like, like weight. But I do truly believe it starts from childhood. There is a lot of work that you can do. I don't specialize in the work, but I have done the work, so I'm aware of it. And I do know some ways. I've done enough work around it where I do know some ways to work with someone that may be having. I can empathically kind of

pick up and we can talk, you know, I may not even talk about it, but I'm familiar with it enough where if I see it, I'm going to, I'm going to see the familiarity. I'm going to see it's familiar. I do believe it's just from childhood. There's a lot of work you can do around it. It's almost like reparenting yourself. You have to reparent your own. You have to reparent your I've done a lot of deep meditations and writings and visualizations of literally me holding the, as the adult, Carissa, I'm an adult, I'm 46 years old holding that little girl's hand and saying, I got you. You're okay. No one's going to hurt you no more. I got you. Like it's because that little emotional, that emotion still is living inside in that cell and it's still that painful,

memory still comes up. And so I, you know, I get to hold my hand in my inner teenager. I have an inner teenager that's been hurt. I've had been an inner 20 year old. There's things that have happened in my 20s where I've been very hurt, like traumatized or in my 30s. And, you know, I get to now know, I'm 46 and I'm here. We are here now. You know, and I hate to like it for anybody, I don't know, maybe a long time ago I might have thought that person's kind of crazy talking to herself, but it's positive talk. It's a positive talk rather than saying you fucking, you know, you're stupid, and cussing myself out or what's wrong with you or put it, you know, I have to reframe it. I have to reframe it and find another way to replace it. And that is we're okay.

We're okay. I do know a lot of people that work that specialize and actually working with people in the inner child arena. And I have worked with a lot of people that do specialize in that solely. So I know the work's out there and it's beautiful work. It's beautiful work because there is a lot of self-sabotage. And we are very hard on ourselves. And I see it all. the time. I see it all, especially the arena that I work in. I see it all the time. And sometimes it comes out in shopping, it comes out and getting yourself indebted. Kim comes out in cheating. It comes out in overeating, comes out in addiction. It comes out in all sorts of ways. But there's this deeper layer that does stem from childhood. Yeah. It's maybe it's just a part of getting older and looking back on your life and reflecting, or maybe it's a part of helping people have better relationships or maybe it's just a human condition that we're flawed.

However, I feel like we can be on the cusp of changing not only ourselves, but the planet. If we can just learn to, you know what I think it stems from? I think it comes down to language. When I was at school, I never realized, like, why do I got to take English? Like, I totally speak it. Like, this is so dumb. However, the older you get, the more you realize the canon that is the English language and the different words that can be used.

And, you know, a thought of sentence is just a linguistic pathway for a thought. And if you can provide a really beautiful linguistic pathway, then you can get people. You can paint pictures in the minds of other people. And if you can do that, that's when you can really begin to change people's opinions and their views of themselves. or if a young child who maybe grows up in a home where both parents are working and they don't have any time or maybe there's just one parent they don't have any time to spend with them that child is at a deficit especially when it comes to language where if the mom like you said if the mom is busy and she's like what are you dumb you stupid instead of saying oh my gosh are you

struggling right here what's the problem can I help you to the exact same thing she's saying but just in different words but to a child it's like oh man I am dumb I am stupid I'll never make it. And at that point in time, it's, it's so hard for that child to catch back up to the, to the person who has someone that can communicate well to them. And I, I think if there's one thing I could tell people that on my podcast, I try to talk to people about is change your language, change your life, right? Your inner dialogue, the words you use, like the words you use, describe who you are. You should be trying to find the most beautiful words possible. Look for a 15-letter word in the dictionary and try to use that one to describe.

who you are, what you do. It's such a beautiful way to communicate is that when you can, I think it opens up ways to see other people too. Like when you, just the word empathic or, you know, the word empathy. And you think about the ideas behind these words, the intention behind those words. I think it really opens up. Yeah, and how you treat someone else as a mere reflection of what you feel about yourself. It just is, you know, so it's so much so.

I mean, treating yourself really well and being loving towards yourself, I mean, how the heck can you treat somebody genuinely give away? You know, you can't give something you don't have. So if you're, you know, when somebody's doing really good and you're, I mean, you're really genuinely happy for them, it's because you're in a good place. You're in a good headspace. You know, there have been times where I've seen people do really well and I'm jealous. I'm angry. I mean, that's, you know, that's, those are states of, I'm not in a good place and you kind of can't see it. You're not aware of it. But we, you know, it's our duty. You know, and that's why I like to tell people the better, how can you not invest in yourself, you know? Like, that's the best gift you can give to your loved ones. It's the best gift when you are taking care of yourself and on all levels.

Like you just, I mean, it's the best gift. Because now. you feel so good and you want to share it. You want to give it away. And that's how you keep it. I truly believe, you know, you have to give it away to keep it. You have to share it. And I'm just going to keep it to myself. I want to share it because then it just makes me feel like, I don't know, the purpose, a passion.

And when I get to see other people go help other people and they're just like, it's just just like, oh my God, it's so awesome. And, you know, but we do owe it to ourselves. I mean, it's the best gift we can give our loved ones is to take care of ourselves and start talking lovingly to ourselves and treating ourselves, you know, really good on all levels. Yeah, I heard a good quote one time that says, in life, what you give, you get to keep, but what you fail to give, you lose forever. In the beginning, it sounds kind of like, does that make sense?

but you know, you'll never get another chance to give your heart or never get another chance to give kindness to someone in that moment. But if you give everything you got, like you look back on that and be thankful for it. And ultimately, that's all we have. You know, at the very end, we can't take all the monumental things with us. I mean, it's nice to live nice. It is. It's nice to live comfortable and we want, you know, but it's what you do. It's how you respect your stuff and what you do with your stuff. And, you know, but at the end, we can't take it with us. You know, we have to be able to have that peace in our heart and know that we did good things in life. So I don't know. So on that, you know, I know we're going to talk about the cookbook.

super excited to talk about. Absolutely. What do you got about? Tell us about the cookbook. When does it come out? What's in it? What can we expect to be cooking? What do you got about it? Yes. It's called the sober cookbook. And it was all stemmed from pretty much everything we're already talked about nutrients, how important it is to take care of your body. But I'm going to have all sorts of fun recipes in there. Focusing on deficiencies that a lot of us are most common to have when we're first early in sobriety. And it probably is going to be very aligned with a lot of people who aren't in the recovery arena. But it really focuses on the foods that are best in the nutrients level for deficiencies and to help lose unwanted pounds. Because anybody who's had the

beer belly or the beverage valley knows that, you know, it's time to lose some pounds. So anyways, that's what the cookbook's about. I'm really excited about that. And that'll be out hopefully in the next few months. But there is a wait list on my website. I don't know if you have it on your podcast. I have some links below, but where is the bet like if people want to reach out to you, where can they find you?

Either I'm, I think I'm on all this. So the Instagram, the Facebook, and then I have my website. And on the website, you can go on the wait list for the cookbook. Nice. Is it some of like the Kedell family recipes from generations ago? We're going to see any of that in there? No, no, no. Those were more like softball filled.

We always on the softball field most of the time at the snack bar. That's so funny. This is through my last seven years of the journey of my favorite recipes that I put together and next best options. So there's a lot of good stuff on there. And there's the journal in the cookbook as well. So you can kind of show an assessment of where you're at when you first start. It's like a 30-day reset, basically. And I know I've kind of sampled it and done some kind of beta testing with a few girls already.

And it's pretty neat. Like these two girls had no desire to quit drinking, but they wanted to see what it felt like to not drink for 30 days. So they did really well. And they had some good results. So it's been, it's a fun little thing to put out there. Yeah, it's awesome. Does it work with the DNA testing kit as well? The DNA testing kit will only help the food selections, help you.

you narrow down the food selections to your most optimal foods. So if you do the genetic testing with it, that's optimal. That's going to be the best. But it's not needed. Nice. All right. Well, Carissa Kadda, I'm excited to talk. You think you for taking some time to spend with me in the audience and taking us through a journey that is, I think everyone is going to hopefully go through and find their own way. And thank you very much for helping people and just being a beautiful human being. And I got your links below. Is there anything you want to tell people before we go? Just thank you for being here if you're listening. And if you have any questions, please feel free to reach out to me. And yeah, just take care of yourself. Drink lots of water.

Lots of water and talk kind to yourself. And yeah, just love and health to everybody. Nice. Okay, everybody. Have a great day. Aloha.