TrueLife - Kristin Taylor - Gratitude, Connection, Epilepsy & Psychedelics

Episode Date: March 28, 2023

One on One Video Call W/George https://tidycal.com/georgepmonty/60-minute-meetingSupport the show:https://www.paypal.me/Truelifepodcast?locale.x=en_US🚨🚨Curious about the future of psychedelics? Imagine if Alan Watts started a secret society with Ram Dass and Hunter S. Thompson… now open the door. Use Promocode TRUELIFE for Get 25% off monthly or 30% off the annual plan For the first yearhttps://www.district216.com/https://www.kristintaylor.net/How do I wish to show up in the world? At the heart of my practice, this is the primary question that we circle around as we delve into the answers. Through the use of a plethora of tools I have gathered over the years, together we identify, explore, and eventually transform any blockages we face in embodying our inherent birthright to a life of freedom and happiness. The collaborative sessions can take shape into any form, whether through the use of microdosing, Reiki, Shamanic drumming, or healing with equine intuitive healing, I am here to be your guide to your fully embodied presence. One on One Video call W/George https://tidycal.com/georgepmonty/60-minute-meetingSupport the show:https://www.paypal.me/Truelifepodcast?locale.x=en_USCheck out our YouTube:https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPzfOaFtA1hF8UhnuvOQnTgKcIYPI9Ni9&si=Jgg9ATGwzhzdmjkg

Darkness struck, a gut-punched theft, Sun ripped away, her health bereft. I roar at the void. This ain't just fate, a cosmic scam I spit my hate. The games rigged tight, shadows deal, blood on their hands, I'll never kneel. Yet in the rage, a crack ignites, occulted sparks cut through the nights. The scars my key, hermetic and stark. To see, to rise, I hunt in the dark, fumbling, fear. Fearist through ruins maze, lights my war cry, born from the blaze.

The poem is Angels with Rifles. The track, I Am Sorrow, I Am Lust by Codex Serafini. Check out the entire song at the end of the cast. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the True Life podcast. I hope everybody's having a beautiful day. We have a beautiful guest and a beautiful show, and we've got a lot of good information to get into. We have the one and only Kristen Taylor, a micro dosing practitioner, consultant, keynote speaker, Riki master and practitioner, equine intuitive.

Mrs. Kristen Taylor, how are you today? Thank you for being here. I'm so good. And you know what's so funny is the last one was equine intuitive, and I had quite the equine experience this morning. What happened? My dad's horses. I'm currently taking care of them. they finagled their way into the barn, which is not horse-friendly. I went to feed them this morning before taking my daughter at preschool. I go to get the hay and there's two horses inside the barn. And I was like, no, this is not okay.

And there's literally only like three feet for those horses to get through about two and a half feet with this like fence. I mean, it was, it was intense. And three years ago, I wouldn't have been able to do it. it. I literally would not have been able to do it. And they survived, no broken bones. I mean, you know, the greatest scare and greatest risk is one, oh, two, they overeat and get really sick. Um, or a broken leg of the horse, you know, and getting them spooked or something. And one of the horses is really, uh, they're both Arabians and they're high spirited. And so I had a, I knew that if I kept myself calm. Yeah. Then we can co-regulate and work it out. And thankfully, actually, my daughter helped out by yelling out the door, Mom, it's time to go to preschool. Me yelling back got the one horse to get a little spunky, but also staying calm.

And he got his way back out the barn. I mean, it was quite the experience. He quite intuitive. I'm like, what do you do with this? Anyway, I called on my grandpa in the ether. I was like, you got to tell about with this one. Yeah, it's always amazing to me, the way, first off, the way life unfolds. You know, you could be, you wake up out of bed and all of a sudden here's this incident.

And it seems that I heard a good quote one time that said something that like, it's never the things you worry about that get you. It's the things that just happen on some idle Tuesday at 3 p.m. That really end up being something that's worth spending your time on, on. But it's interesting, the idea of relationships and life unfolding. And, you know, you use a, there was a term that you use that I read on your website. It was something along the lines of micro practices. And it almost sounds like you use some micro practices in there.

I was wondering if you could define that term and tell the audience, like, what are micropractices and how do you use them? Yeah, absolutely. Well, I 100%. I literally sat there for a moment. I was like, okay, you got this, Kristen. Like you've been training for this moment. I'm not joking. First, I connected to my breath and I grounded.

And a simple micro practice or micro tools like that. Connecting to your heartbeat, connecting to the ground, centering yourself and recognizing I'm in the present moment, being able to kind of connect to maybe a few things outside of yourself to also maybe not be shooting off into fear. I have a few clients that have bipolar or sometimes they get into a manic state where they're completely outside of their body. And so I have epilepsy. If I'm going to start feeling like I'm going to have a seizure, I connect to those microbeatsy. practices of filling my body, breath work, positive affirmations or mantras.

And then there's other things that I work with clients on with, that are micro practices, maybe a certain journal prompt, something they do in the mornings to connect not just to breath, but also to body, and then that are very intuitive and very much designed specifically for that person because each one of us are so unique and yet some of the things are so almost like duh like start breathing like notice that you're not breathing okay breathe okay now let's like take a moment pause don't freak out okay we've got this what can we do yeah those are great points i think that a lot of us and i think if people are being honest i know for myself but i believe a lot of get caught up in like what I call a foundation work.

Like we just miss these little things on the foundation. And if you're not building on a foundation that is solid, and that could be, you know, getting the right amount of sleep, that could be not breathing. It could be any of these things. But once you mess up the foundation, it's really difficult to build a structure on there. Structure could be your day.

It could be the relationship with your kid or your wife or your husband or trying to get the horses out of the barn. You know what I mean? Whatever you start out on right there. But I really like that term, the idea of micro practices. Because I think it speaks volumes of how something really small could have significant changes in our lives right there. I mean, it's very similar to like the atomic habits or the idea of, you know, airline, those who are pilots know, if they slightly change the direction or an angle, you end up in a completely different city or country.

if you're flying for a few hours. And so it's a similar type of concept. Those micro practices, very small shifts in the way that you do things can lead to big results. As a mother of five kids and currently single, I don't have like three hours to sit and meditate and take time to really like invest in quote unquote self-care. I do have some times where like if, you know, I'll be like time for me. I'm going to take a bath, you know, things like that. But these micro practices are the things that really set, as you mentioned, the foundation,

the structure, the scaffolding to build upon so that when a moment like horses in a barn happen, I'm not flipping out screaming or crying or a complete disaster. I'm able to literally, like I literally just, I was able to do it. It was, I don't know how to explain it. It was phenomenal. And after I did have a bit of emotion, I kind of, I almost cried a bit. And I had just listened to Eckhart Toll yesterday about emotions where he's like, you don't have to have a lot of emails.

He can be entered. And he literally was like, there was a man who found out his son died. He said, I realize that life is not eternal. And I was like, yeah, I'm going to cry if I find. know, you know, but I literally had just been prepped by Eckhart Tolle yesterday. I'm in the barn. I about start crying and freaking out a little bit afterwards. And I was like, Kristen, we did this. Like, you did it. Okay, breathe. Okay. Now let's go get your daughter to preschool. Okay. And with epilepsy, large moments like that can actually set off a seizure. And so that's where

this practicing is so essential for me. Like, I've got to be able to stay stable so that I don't, have a seizure and then have to have the EMTs come or at least people believe when they see me completely out that they've got to call EMTs or my daughter's home, I've got to be able to be there for her as well. Yeah, that's fascinating to think about. Is that kind of where you began developing the suite of tools that you have? Is you found ways in your life to manage your time, your emotion and the way you maneuver through life and you've been able to explore it to help other people? Yeah. In 2016, I had a really large seizure where when I woke up in the hospital, I couldn't remember my two youngest children at the time. And I found out and was diagnosed with

epilepsy. And my life shifted drastically and very dramatically. And I also lost the ability to fill a lot of joy. And I was stuck in the loop of fear. and a lot of feeling of incapability. And at the time, I had a seven-month-old baby and a two-and-half-year-old. And I had, I think my daughter was like seven or eight and a nine- or ten-year-old son. And I already had all my positive psychology training and health training, and I've been a teacher, but I couldn't access the joy. I couldn't access gratitude.

And I literally was stuck in these thought loops, a lot of rumination. and my brain had made new tracks that I needed to rewire and to be able to access, to be able to access joy, happiness, the ability to get into this gratitude side of life and the remembrance of who I was before, or at least access who I was going to become, I needed to retrain my brain. Back then, I didn't know that I was in an evolution state. I wanted to remember who I was. And that was the catalyst of a ginormous explosion of being, like dying, desiccating, rebirthing.

And just a lot of that happening since 2016. Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot in there, Chris. And I really admire the language you use. And I'm going to take it back to the, well, towards the beginning where you talked about, you had to make new tracks. Like we talk about neuroplasticity and some people, I love that idea of making tracks.

I think of someone going skiing for the first time and they're getting fresh tracks in the snow. I think that's very similar to how thoughts become things and thoughts become feelings and emotions. But I'm wondering, can you maybe help for maybe there's people in the audience, Kristen, that could be suffering from epilepsy or maybe they have an abusive relationship or maybe they have whatever demon it is that they're facing. What do you mean by making new tracks? How does one go about doing that? Well, that's such a good question. One of the things is first recognizing that I'm stuck in a thought loop for why is it that I'm

attracting this into my life? A lot of times we're in denial or we think that this is just what our life is meant to be. And I want to say like bullshit. Like call it out. I truly believe even if we have hard days and really hard, you know, like maybe clumps of lifetime, maybe a. month or two, I truly, truly believe that all people are meant to be able to feel joy and be

able to have the ability to understand the divine, the divines that literally resides within every single cell of their being. And sometimes, like, when I couldn't access that and I didn't know that I'd be able to ever again, I just needed somebody else to say, you know what, you're going to get through this and it is possible. You will be able to access joy again. You will be able to access your authentic sovereign being again. And once you have someone who literally can just put a little bit of that love and light back into you, that spark that is still within you, then once you start blowing on that spark and finding

things that bring you a little bit of joy, even if it's just a feeling, few moments a day, remembering the things that feed your fire, just starting with those things a little bit at a time and remembering that you have the ability to shift your life and you can make the changes because you truly are the medicine. And I do believe that. It doesn't mean that you're not going to have bad days or bad moments because I still like last night, totally lost it with my kiddos at nighttime. I was like, I'm going to lose it, guys. Because I was reminded of something that was really difficult last night. And it was a big, like a lot of things going on. I have a nine, a seven, and a four-year-old. I was putting the bed and I want them to go to bed so I can go

to bed. And like, girl, Kristen, you're like this mindset and mind guru, gratitude girl who should be able to not lose her shit with her kids and sorry about the language. But like, I still do. And then, but what's so cool about it is I don't sit in the shame cycle anymore. Yeah. And before, though, I couldn't forgive myself. Now I'm like, you know what? Okay, we got this. And I'm able to handle the horses the next day and sit with my daughter in love and light and hold her and witness her in her glory instead of thinking about, oh, I'm such a terrible mother.

Yeah. It's those loops or I like the, I like how you explain feeling and being in shame because so, so many people have never been taught, you know, maybe what their emotions are for. I don't think the purpose of guilt is to stay there. The purpose of guilt is to be aware and then move on so you don't do it again. But it's not to put yourself in this thought loop where you continue to beat yourself up over and over and you hold yourself down in this self-abusive cycle. And it seems like so many people hold themselves there.

Why do you think that is? Well, I've personally been taught my mentors that it's because it's a very comfortable place to be because it's somewhere that we're used to being. It's almost like if you like being in a hot tub at a certain temperature and you get so comfy, you stay there. And then all of a sudden you realize like your fingers all wrinkle and you're like, I'll stay longer. It doesn't matter. And you don't go out and get into the snow where it's uncomfortable. And I think that, you know, we get used to just having this place where it feels nice and comfy and cozy. in the right temperature.

But once in a while, if you were to actually go out and get into the snow and then jump back in the hot tub, you realize how hot that hot tub actually is. And you might not want to stay in for as long as you were before. It's kind of, I don't know, kind of like the frog thing, you know. Yeah. You just kind of get used to being in that warm water

and they turn up the temperature until you just get cooked. I had a mentor. I did work with DMT for a little while. It's not my medicine. But she asked me if I was ready to stop being in the, stop being in literally the non-passionate, non-excitment, non-joy frequency. Was I ready to stop suffering?

And honestly, I could not at that time say, yeah and I still can't yet yesterday also listening to Eckhart Toll he said that we have someone within us that loves to feel suffering and shame and even just recognizing that we have that part within us it it likes to eat eat eat eat until it's been full and then it will rest for a while and then we can feel peace for a little bit until it's starting to feel like gets hungry again and then it wants to eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, and then rest again. I recognize I have that part within me and I recognize that I like to feed that part. I've given it a name, but I'm still not there yet.

I'm not there where I'm like, yeah, I'm totally able to just sit in love and light and not suffer. Have you gotten there yet, George? I don't know if anybody ever gets there. I have found that like at the height of a psychics, I feel like you get to be in the light. I feel like you get to go to the top of the mountain, but you can't live there. You can only go there to visit and look back and learn. And then, you know, call it God or Gaia or Buddha or whatever you want to call this higher

version of yourself or this higher power that we connect to. It's like, okay, you see this? You're doing all right. Here's the things you got to work on. Or hey, congratulations. Or you can be better at that. Whatever the teaching is, you're only, you're only, you're doing all right. You're doing. allowed to be with that teaching for a little bit and then comes the integration. Now I want you to go back down off the mountain and work on those things. Don't come back here until you've figured out a few of those things. So, you know, I also happen to think that the suffering, it's a bit of a different idea on suffering in that, like, some people find the attraction to suffering as an opportunity for learning. And only the people, and I'm willing to bet you've seen.

this, but only the people that have been through the most traumatic experiences and come out the other side have begun to understand the beauty of suffering. It seems to me that this power, this spirit, the beauty of nature, whatever it is, you know, forces you to go through these events that no person should go through, whether it's a child dying or if it's, you know, there's so many events out there where you have an epileptic seizure and you forget your kids' names. You know, all these events that each of us are probably predestined to go through. I think that the suffering is there to show you how strong you are. Like, look, yes, no one should go through this.

Yes, this is horrible, but guess what? You're still here. And now I want you to go help other people. I think that that is, in a weird way, it turns that suffering into something that is tangible. And it turns that suffering into, I hesitate to say the word power, but maybe understanding is a better way. transformation of suffering into understanding. And when you transform that, you're transforming yourself. We get back into the ideas of death and birth that you recalled just a few moments

ago. I haven't got there. I think I get views from time to time. Does that kind of makes sense? Am I just kind of jibber jabber in there? No, it absolutely makes sense. I mean, one of the things that I'm learning, you know, as you mentioned, with a deep journey work, you do, you reach like this state of, oh, I'm here. And even like, I am the Christ. Like I have literally reached it. And then I watched the alchemist and she's like, and there's a point where you learn that you are the Christ. And I was like, oh, I did learn that.

And she's like, no, that's not. And I was like, oh, okay. Well, my name's Kristen. It means people are to Christ. But it was such a moment where I felt so connected to the divine essence of love. literally where I and I was like okay and but you can't hold on to it when you pop back into this you know this state and yet what I like this morning what I have learned is that there's hope there is the ability to tap into this you know this feeling of course you can't stay at that

highest state of nirvana or whatever you want to call it at all times um There are some people who believe that one can, maybe Ram Dass. Maybe, yeah. And yet, you know, I have been gaining the skill set to help my kids and myself be able to move through, as I mentioned, and you mentioned, quicker through the lower points. Like, my daughter brought up, you know, death has been coming up so much, so much lately with my four-year-old. and she'll often say, mom, I don't want you to get old.

And then she'll say, Mom, I don't want you to die. And, you know, we've buried like bunnies and we've, um, just recently,

she's been with me with two of my epilepic, like my large seizures where EMTs got called and it was just her with me. And like one time we're walking home from preschool and people come and, you know, witness us and she's, I told her, I think I'm going to shake, hold on to.

me and then I'm out. I don't remember a thing. And I wake up in the hospital and she's with me. And today we're in the car and she's like, I don't want you to die, mom. And I'm like, there's part of me that feels very invincible because I have not died so many times. And yet, the same time, I'm like, Kristen, you got to be good. Like, you got to remember. You're not like this teen who can jump off 80 foot cliffs into water and think that you're going to be all right. You're a 45-year-old mother who has a responsibility. And I said, I asked her, did you think I died when I had my seizure? And she said, no, I knew you didn't die. I said, why? She said, you had spit coming out of your mouth. And I was like, oh, you know, like,

there's like this point where you're just like, oh. And I said, do you know why the spit came out? And she said, no. And I said, well, remember last night when you drank your water and you choked really bad. She went like this, you just like literally poured a huge amount and just choked. I said the spit came out so I wouldn't choke. And she said, okay. So we have like, I don't know what is about the medicine, whether it's the microdosing, the deep journey work I've done. But there's something that's given me the ability and the handle to recognize that one, the medicine lies within. Two, I can have these conversations with my children about the, the simplicity and the fragility of life in a way that what is interesting is I grew up thinking

that I knew all the answers because I grew up in a very strict religion. I grew up Mormon and I loved it so much. I loved being Mormon and then things didn't work out in a way that I thought they would with my marriages. I got married twice, not that I was polygamous, you know. Anyway, I got divorced two different times with marriages that were supposed to be eternal, keeping all the rules and the regulations. And when things didn't add up anymore, all of a sudden my life kind of exploded, along with the epilepsy and the inability to reach God and all these other things. And then I find with the simplicity of something that Mother Earth has created,

that I find a connection to my heart in a way that I've never felt, a trust in myself. that I've never felt and the ability to not know and be okay with not knowing that I have never felt. And how do you explain that to anyone? You don't. And yet, I'm able to have conversations with my four-year-old daughter about death without knowing all the answers and be able to just trust that somehow, in some way, because of, the medicine that lies within. And the way that the universe works

in bringing together people like you, George, or like others that have come into my life serendipitously to remind me that all of us are here for the highest good and the highest purpose, for the good of raising the vibration of humanity, and to remind ourselves that divinity lies within and we can all find the ability to break through those negative thought cycles

to remember that just small shifts in our lives with those micro practices, even just little tiny doses of microdosing. If one cannot do microdosing with psilocybin because of, let's say, schizophrenia or bipolar or even epilepsy, one can find beautiful plants to work with that can partner with one or even breathwork. You can reach DMT within your lungs just by doing Wim Hof or other types of breathwork and finding wonder,

wonder by just witnessing the sun and calibrating through the magic of life. When we have those moments of reconnecting to who we truly are, we're able to overcome so much that's happened to us, quote unquote, in all the trauma that has occurred to us as a collective, as an individual, and is what we claim what holds us back. But really, it's just something that we get to shift and move aside from those tracks that we think we're stuck in, but really it's just a small shift, and we're able to remember what lies within. I'm speechless. That was beautiful. It's so beautiful, Kristen.

Thank you for sharing that. I'm really big on language and language patterns. And when I hear the word explain, like, how can I ever explain this? Well, I don't think you could do it with words, but I think you are explaining it through your experience. And when I close my eyes and I see a young child holding her mom who may be having a problem. I see a young child who is learning a lesson in love in medicine

that even people in medical school will maybe never learn until they get to be in their 30s or 40s. When I close my eyes and I see a child in wonder and amazement at her mom in this particular state, I see a bond between two people that is unbreakable. And I see that experience as the, unbreakable experience of knowledge between people and planet on this planet. And so, you know, I think that we are in this shift, Kristen, and I think that people like you, everybody in this

space. And I think that the majority, maybe everybody has this spark of divinity inside them that will allow them to feel wondering. And you know what I wonder is, I wonder why we've gotten so far away from wondering about beauty. Like you said, you can look up at the sky and see a sunset. You can feel the sun on your skin and be like, wow, it feels fantastic. Or if you're alone and you're out on your back patio or your front yard or driving down the street and you hear a bird sing. And that song of that bird reaches in and grabs a little part of your soul. You're like, wow, that's a pretty song. I never noticed that before. But I do see this new emerging sort of feeling. And I think it is because of whether it's microdosing or whether it's,

is a death and rebirth of the generations that have gone before us or if it's the pole shifting or if it's the medicine. I really see us as a species going through like a rebirth right now. And I hear so many cool stories. And you are speaking, here's a question I got for you, Kristen. You speak to boardrooms. You speak to men's groups. You speak to women's groups. And I'm wondering what are some of the similarities and what are some of the different? differences that you're hearing from these people when you speak to all these different groups, is there a thread that unites them or are there certain things that are different? Or what's your take on that?

Yeah. So the thing that unites them is they all are desiring to live life and remember what brings them joy. There's been a thread of malice and the inability to remember what brings them joy. the thing that I mainly focus on is gratitude, wonder, and connection. It's extremely abundant as far as the loss of ability to connect, including with myself. Like, it's so easy to get, I almost call it the womb. Like, I put myself in the womb and a lot of self-healing's going on,

But the self-healing can only go so far before you've got to reach out and get connected to something and someone. And so that COVID bubble that created, you know, where we weren't even seeing like facial expressions. Yeah. The youth are specially struggling with that. And then we've got the parents and trying to coach the youth. And then we've got the executives who now have all of these others who are. are struggling with all the things. I mean, almost everyone knows somebody that they lost, you know, or someone that lost someone during COVID. And so, and then there was just so much anxiety and depression that happened during the

COVID season, as well as a lot of partnerships that broke up during that time. So you just have like this huge, like, volcano explosion. And then you've got everyone trying to pull back together. And then now we're trying to do events and get to. together, but everyone's feeling quite awkward. Like last night, I just went to a, it was, they're called Giddy. They're, um, they're a cryptocurrency that was created here in Utah by a man who is very social and very just like, he's out there on LinkedIn, like, been kicked off of LinkedIn

like six or seven times. I love him, Scott Paul. I love him because he's so out there and so authentic. Okay. And so I was like, I'm supposed to go there for some reason. I don't understand anything about crypto. Nothing. But what I did see and witness were all these people connecting on a similar something,

which was crypto, and it was a language I don't understand. And yet they were bonding. And afterwards, they were smiling and shaking hands. And some of them were hugging. and they all were able to connect on a similar type of theme. And so when I present and speak to groups, a lot of times my stories bring something up within them that helps them remember, oh, I forgot.

I forgot that I loved doing that. Or I forgot that I haven't talked to my mom or dad or my sister for a long time. I forgot there's this so-and-so that I haven't said thank you to in a long time. So a lot of what I do is I literally will just ask, is there someone that comes to mind that you want to reach out to? What would you say to them? What is something you haven't done in a long time that brings you joy, that you find yourself in flow? So it depends on what they ask me to speak on or what they want me to focus on. But most of it is about learning a type of breathwork, connection, and then gratitude.

and then, you know, pointing out those small little tiny micro tools that they can use to kind of up level and up their vibration level very quickly on a daily basis. Yeah, it's interesting to me because I think for a long time what we've all forgotten is that feeling of togetherness. And like you said, COVID really brought out a lot of divisiveness and it brought out a lot of fear, I think. Fear tends to divide people on a level that is almost pornographic to me. And I guess, you know what? I know that you do a lot of microdosing practitioner work. Would you mind talking about that a little bit? Yeah.

Well, it's so interesting because my work before was all about gratitude, wonder, and connection. And I went to Mount Shasta to get Reiki attunement while I was there. I was introduced to the idea of working with psychedelics. And I grew up like not feeling like a rebel if I drink Coca-Cola. I'm not joking. Like I swore I would not drink any more caffeine in my senior year in high school. Because I was like, this way I will get more blessings. So that kind of tells you my background a little bit.

Okay. So then I'm at Mountain Shire. Chasta and I'm like, I'm supposed to work with psychedelics. And so I decided to better get some training and some background due to my health background. I'm a health education major. So I'm in this training, this therapeutic, psychedelic therapeutic training. And they brought up microdosing.

And while they bring up microdosing, I have been focusing so much on breaking negative thought cycles and rumination and for my own health and for my epilepsy and other things. And that's what I speak about all the time. And they're literally stating, this will help you move aside your default mode network. And you'll be able to have your neuro. And they showed us the dendrites, like slides of dendrites and showing how the dendrites almost, it was like a shovel would come and slid through people with anxiety or depression, and how the dendrites couldn't really communicate very well.

And this is a slide with someone who's been microdosing, psilocybin and it showed like the dendrites growing like tree roots reconnecting and I'm sitting there going oh this is like exactly just an enhancement of what I've been speaking about and seeking out for my own health little did I know that with epilepsy it would create a little bit more of a lightning you know lightning effect than I need personally it did aid me but those with bipolar those with hyperactive brain neurons, it's not as healthy. But those who have, you know, anxiety, deep depression, complex PTSD, those types of things where they're stuck in a rut, they can't get out,

this microdosing and the moving aside the default mode network where you can actually witness your patterns. It is insane. I had a client that 10 years she'd been in therapy, had paranoia, a few other things, within three months of microdosing, just this minute amount, you know, five days on, two days off. She's out of paranoia. She's functioning and doing so well.

And she was able to witness that a lot of the paranoia and other triggers were, of course, from childhood, but also witnessing and being able to, like, move that aside and is no longer caught in the cyclical going back into the paranoia of it, moving forward. and being able to have hard conversations with other people and partners that she couldn't have previously. That's just one example. I've had over 150 clients where I've witnessed just huge shifts. It doesn't mean everyone has these ginormous shifts. But it is like it fell in my lap. But it's because I was already being prepared to, in a way, be an ambassador.

because my whole focus was wonder, connection, and gratitude, and microdosing is all about that. Yeah, I heard a good quote once that said, the things that you are interested in, those things are interested in you. It's fascinating to me. You are the only person I've ever spoken with about microdosing and the epilepsy. Would you mind sharing some of your, like, is that, it must have been scary to be like, okay, I, I have epitolepsy. Sometimes I have these particular episodes. Microdosing may do that. Like what was going?

Did you decide that because of that? Or like, what's that relationship like? Well, I, as I mentioned, tend to be, it literally is in my human design as well as in my astrology that I tend to learn by experience. So that means I experiment things and then I learn. So I chose to microdose due to I had gone through some like extremely very large complex trauma traumatic events right before COVID shut down the world. And and so it like it all played into a lot of why I was led to psychedelics also. So I chose to microdose.

And microdosing actually did increase some of my, I have temporal lobe seizures. So I never lost any type of presence when I have my seizures. What I would usually have is an olfactory hallucination, deja vu, and then I would have a moment where I would feel fear or euphoria. And then, though, for about a week, I might recognize everybody. So I'd have facial recognition issues and then anxiety and depression for about a week afterwards. So I was like, well, I never lose consciousness. I'm going to be okay.

It's worth that. And I thought also that it might help heal the epilepsy, to be honest. So I thought it was worth taking that. I took under consideration and the risks outweighed the, I mean the benefits outweighed. the risks. It did increase the neuro the neuroplasticity. I did 100% receive so much healing from it. My

synchronicities increased, my ability to see patterns. And though, I also believe I might have received a new type of seizure from it, which is losing consciousness in while I'm awake. So I've had four full-blown tonic-clonic seizures now while awake, two of those of which my daughter witnessed, my four-year-old.

Would I undo what I did? No, because I don't believe in coincidences. I felt very much like I was meant to do this. I also now, like I have, currently I have a client that was referred to me who did a deep dive macro journey but was not vetted for bipolar and is in a manic phase now and has been for three and a half weeks. But this client did not disclose that they were bipolar to the facilitator. So what I am learning is there are risks, there are benefits. There are people who choose not to disclose, you know, what they, that they may have bipolar, that they have schizophrenia running in their family, or that they have a heart murmur.

So these plants, I am learning, these plants are not to be played or toyed around with. They are sacred. They are here to help us, and they are not something that you just, I'm going to go do a journey this weekend. I'm going to do another journey this weekend. I'm going to do another journey. If it's meant to be, it will fall into your lap so easily. And you don't push it and press it. You allow it to happen if it's meant for you.

And you don't try and do it just to get the experience, if that makes sense. Yeah, totally makes sense. I'm really glad that you brought this up. And, you know, there's in some ways I'm torn. that. You know, I think that some of the people that need the plant medicine the most are the people that suffer from bipolar disease, that suffer from epilepsy, that suffer from schizophrenia. And because the literature is not there, because there's insurance reasons, and there's real health risks, a lot of these people are excluded from participating or partaking in potential

studies that may show benefit. You know, it's interesting. When you were talking about epilepsy, you had mentioned that there's no doubt in your mind that it's helping you heal. Who better to understand how their health is and the individual that's participating in this healing? And I love doctors. I'm thankful that we have big pharma for penicillin and they've done a lot of great things and there's definitely a place for them. I think people that have ever been rushed to the hospital are thankful for pharmaceutical medicine and hospitals. That being said, I think that there is a, it doesn't have to be an either or, it doesn't have to be either pharmaceuticals or plants. It's like a both and. And I really see something emerging. And I want to

speak to what you said about, hey, I have decided that here, I've done the research. I have epilepsy. I have decided that I learned through experience and here's what I'm going to experience this. And it's helping me. I think other people who are in their right mind who have done the research and maybe sought out some mentors to figure out what this could do to them, I think that they should be, you know, some of the people that we look at most to learn from. Because who's to say that these plant medicines aren't healing your brain? Who's to say that this new type of epilepsy isn't a process in healing in some way? What do you think? Well, the other thing I want to bring up is that I was personally choosing not to take my epilepsy meds.

Okay, all right. A lot of moving parts. Every single large seizure I had. So one of them that I had was two days after I did do a deep dive journey. But the thing is with epilepsy, much like with bipolar or schizophrenia, sleep is very important. So the one seizure I had was after I'd been with a group, it was a group journey. I stayed up really late. I didn't take care of my health.

I didn't have my boundaries. I wasn't like, you know what, I need my sleep. I'm going to go over to this place. I'm going to sleep, even though it was a daytime journey. I was so happy and excited to be with everybody. I just barely had a training for manic, specifically manic, working with psychedelics from the spirit pharmacist. I can't remember his name right now.

Ben. He's amazing. Unbelievable. He was mentioning all the medicines that are for bipolar, usually. half of those are for people with epilepsy. So I was looking at all the similarities. I was like, and he was mentioning sleep, and he was mentioning diet.

So I'm saying they're going, this training's for me too. And the thing is, every single time I had one of my larger seizures, I was not taking my meds. And I was warned by my neurologist, if you're not taking your medications, the amount of communication within your brain

could create where you'll have a new type of breakthrough seizure. I was warned about that. The reason why a lot of us that have a non-neurotypical brain activation don't take our meds is it slows us down. Like currently, I'm taking my meds, and I'm doing fabulous, by the way. But when I take my medication, I have word recall issues. I tend to forget things. I don't remember people's names. I will, I mean, it's messy.

And I have to be extremely humble, vulnerable, and look like sometimes a total idiot in front of people. And I'm not an idiot. But when I take my meds, it slows my mental process down. It really does. And so that's why a lot of us choose not to take our meds because we don't feel like ourselves. But if we don't take them, then we run the risk of hurting other people, including ourselves. And so the unique aspect is, Ben even mentioned ayahuasca, what if those that have bipolar take, do ayahuasca in the non-traditional way during the day

where they're facilitated by themselves so the energy is not extreme during the day so they'll go and get their sleep at night so they don't run that risk. So my life I have learned ever since visiting Mount Shasta is about living outside. of the box. I am not to be boxed. I am I am extremely unique as well as most people are. But this brain is one of those that is a unique brain and I am meant to function in a way that is unique. So I am meant to take care of this brain in a unique way. I can partake of psychedelics. I have sat with peyote. I was invited to sit with a tribe member and sit with peyote and it was fabulous. I have sat with ayahuasca. during the day though.

It was one of the most magical, beautiful experiences, and I love her. I have been able to sit with high doses of psilocybin, eight or nine grams, and lemon tect during the night, though, maybe a bit of a risk. And I have sat in the divine essence of whatever that is. And I've been able to microdose whatchuma. I've been able to microdose psilocybin. I've been able to microdose Amanita muscaria.

And now I currently microdose Blue Lotus and Amanita mainly. That's what I choose. I also am able to work with hape, rapae. And it is so beautiful. And I'm grateful for that ability to do so. And I have learned that I am meant to work with caution. And I can have my cake and eat it. Because that's the kind of life I want.

It's beautiful. It's really well said. Sometimes I think that people, they tend to look at other people who, like my father, growing up, my father was bipolar. And, you know, when you are around people that some people, I don't, I hate saying that these things are mental disease. or something like that. Because on some level, I think they present the person that has them

with a heightened sense of awareness in different ways. It's an alternate state of conscience. It's an alternate way of seeing the world. And sometimes those alternate states, they allow you to not only experience, but participate in the world in ways that no one else can. And when you can do that, you really have the opportunity to see things different. And if you do that, then you can really begin to help people because you can see things that other people can't. You know what? It's weird to think about it that way, but it's true. And sometimes I think the people that we diagnose with mental illness may be the people that have the answers to some solutions that no one's talking about.

Absolutely. My oldest is diagnosed with autism. It was Asperger's. He's highly sensitive. And this world is not designed for him to really. function in. And yet, yeah, like, I've learned so much from being around him. And I, my daughter, the four-year-olds, I mean, she's, it's insanely almost eerie sometimes

at the amount of almost telepathy that she has. And I'm just like, oh, we're, you know, it's going to be quite the, quite the experience with this one, you know, and working with this client than I currently have. you know, that's still in Manick. I have a dear friend that's on LinkedIn, Karanina Bullock, who's very open and very transparent about her being bipolar. And

I love her. I love Karanina. And the way that she views the world and the way that she's able to express herself, she is so lively and so just like her essence. I mean, you could drink of her essence and be filled for like a month. Because hardly anyone has that energy. And it used to be that people say, well, that's too much.

And what I say is she is so much. And it's so amazing. Thank you. I held a Blue Lotus tea ceremony recently. And a woman who works in a company that's local here in Utah, she introduced herself. This is literally how she introduced herself. I bring joy everywhere I go. And I was like, I have never heard a woman say something like that.

introducing herself. And it was so refreshing, so welcoming. It's time for that shift, George. It's time for people to be like, this is who I am. And, you know, I might be a little effed up and I am this. And it's beautiful in its essence. Yeah. And that's kind of what I have found that working with plant medicine has done for me personally. I have become so much more accepting of everyone recognizing that everyone has their gifts and there's no coincidences. And the more we put aside, I also have, I have this question, what will we be without our story? Like, what would I be without my epilepsy, my trauma, my drama, my all the things? Like, if I were to just sit here and someone just saw me and I couldn't speak, I couldn't tell them anything about who I am, and just

be witnessed for Kristen for like five seconds. I'm curious what it would be like to just be witnessed to just, just by being. And I would love to like send that out there to everyone today, like kind of sit in that. What would we be without our story? And I would hope that we would all choose to be love and to spread that love and gift it to someone else. And just, yeah, find something that brings you not the malice, but the opposite, the other polar. You know, something that brings you fulfillment and flow. And whether that's eating like a mango that's so juicy and delicious just for a moment, just like making noises and sitting in that and wonderment of eating or wonderment of the sun

or wonderment in your hands and the wrinkles and the lines or wonderment in the water or wonderment in someone else's eyes. Just finding that moment of wonder and awe and gratitude that is 100% abundant. Anywhere you go, you can find those three things. That's beautiful. I love it. I know we're getting short on our time here, Kristen. And I, you're going to have to come back because I feel like we just scratched the surface of really,

a deeper conversation. I think you and I could probably talk one of the two hours and start figuring out a lot of things, but I know you got some stuff to do. And before I let you go, can you tell me what you have coming up, where people can find you and what you're excited about? Yeah. Well, one thing I'm extremely excited about is I will be participating in a women's retreat in Boulder, Utah, where East Forest will be providing a private concert. And I called that in. I literally was like, I need to go to Boulder, Utah. And my friend who's an equine therapist is putting on a retreat.

So I'll be providing the Blue Lotus meditation right before East Forest's ceremony. And you can just contact me for that. It's May 18th through the 21st, and there's only going to be 14 women there. I also have coming up a few other podcast interviews, and then I do a lot of private one-on-one consulting. And my hours are a few because I personally, at this time, work during preschool hours, but my hours will be opening up more in September. And yeah, I literally have just been.

putting out in the universe that in September's when my hours will be opening up. And I work mainly through word of mouth. And Blue Lotus and Amanita Muscaria are my main medicines. And those tend to work very well with people who may be a little less neurotypical. But those who reside out of the box like me. But I do work with those who still, you know, I love to do the microdosing practitioner thing. for those who have their access to psilocybin as well.

Yeah. Amina Mascar is a tricky one because it's, I don't know a lot about it, but it seems like there's different, you know, flavors to the season, and there's different sorts of, you know, depending on where it grows. It's amazing. I'm going to have to get with you and learn more about that. I think it's beautiful. Chris, and I had a wonderful time talking to you.

I really felt like you were really honest and open with me. And I'm always amazed at how beautiful and how natural someone can be when they're sharing things that are so intimate. I really think it's a great quality about you. I just want to say thank you for that. Thank you. It was so funny. I was like, I have no idea. We're going to talk about today.

I was driving home from dropping off the daughter at preschool. And I was just like, I had all these experiences. So it's going to be interesting. What's going to come up today? The horses, the horses gave me, you know, I love them. They were there after a car wreck where they literally laid down and let me lay on top of them while I bawled my eyes out after an interesting car wreck that happened a year and a half ago. I love them so much.

I'm so glad that there were no broken legs with those horses today. Yeah. So thank you, George. Thank you for providing such an easy. place to be and to share. And we're out. And for everyone else is still watching, I hope you have a fabulous day. Okay. Chow. I do what just happened. Here we go.