TrueLife - Ramona Patterson - Fine Artist

Episode Date: December 1, 2022

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramona-patterson-976744109 Licensed artist for IMAGIO Glass and EACGS. Founding artist of the Artocalypse, October 2020. Collaborate currently with CANLOCK creating art on their jars. My mission is to be so busy loving my life that have no time for hate, regret, worry, fret or fear. I served my country honorably in the USAF for 8 years. I held a top secret security clearance for 10 years with specialties in combat mobility, chemical warfare, heavy equipment operations (375KGVW) and large scale dispatching. Was promoted ahead of my peers. Entertained the troops overseas as a singer/ dancer travelling Europe and the Middle East. Created a 24 hour dispatch center for Northeastern three state coverage. Global Patents in the Nonwovens Industry are in my name.

Darkness struck, a gut-punched theft, Sun ripped away, her health bereft. I roar at the void. This ain't just fate, a cosmic scam I spit my hate. The games rigged tight, shadows deal, blood on their hands, I'll never kneel. Yet in the rage, a crack ignites, occulted sparks cut through the nights. The scar's my key, hermetic and stark. To see, to rise, I hunt in the dark, fumbling, fear. Heirous through ruins maze, lights my war cry, born from the blaze.

The poem is Angels with Rifles. The track, I Am Sorrow, I Am Lust by Codex Serafini. Check out the entire song at the end of the cast. Bees and gentlemen, I would love to tell you aloha and welcome to this edition of the True Life podcast. We are here with an incredible artist, an incredible person, and I think someone's who's going to give us some answers you may have never heard of before. The lovely Ramona Patterson, how are you today? Hey, George, it's great to see you. Hi, everybody. Good to see you.

The pleasure is all mine. And for those who are just tuning in right now, right upon introduction, Ramona and I were chit-chatting a little bit. And she has such an amazing life. Let me just, let me just start off with introducing you a little bit here. So Ramona's a licensed artist. She has a CV that's as long as a book almost. You've done everything from chemical warfare to traveling the Middle East. You have global patents. You're a competitive athlete. And those are just a few things to get us started. We were talking about how much we enjoy life. You said you love your life. Maybe we could start there. What is it about your life that you love so much? I like what I've created. I like that it is part of what I dreamed of.

You know, in my mind, I was always like, I'm going to retire and be a painter. And I'm technically, I guess, not retired, but I'm painting. So that's, you know, that's good. And with my sport, I feel like a little kid. I'm like 63 going on 12, man. When I'm out there, I'm like, I so reliant. to the excitement of the little kids.

I still have that ability to play. That is so important. Did you ever lose that? Were you 12 and then you turned into like, Ramona, I'm just the working person? Or did you always have this love and lust and curiosity? I always had the curiosity and I lost it. I would say when I was about nine or 10.

And then, you know, realities of life being a, and then one of six kids and then a couple of step kids and you just kind of get lost in the pack. And so it was easy to be invisible. And then when I joined the military, you know, it was perfect because, I mean, I can follow orders. That's easy. And, you know, being invisible is sometimes a good thing in the military. It can get you, it can give you time. to get knowledge. So being quiet and not noticed, sometimes the big loud people get noticed.

And, you know, being quiet, it'll give you a chance to absorb everything around you and then use all that knowledge for your own good. That's such a, that's, that's so true. I remember being a young boy and talking to my grandfather. We talk about superpowers and comics and stuff one time. And he said to me, George, what do you think is one of the most, if you could have any power, what would it be? And my answer was like, I would love to fly, Grandpa. And I asked him, what's yours? And he goes, well, flying's a good one, George. But I think there's something about being invisible.

And he's like, the thing with being invisible is that you can do it right now. And he told me these cool stories, like you can walk around in your life. And sometimes people think when you're not noticed, like you're insignificant. But the truth is, you're just invisible. And when you're invisible, you have lots of powers because people say things. and they don't know you're there. And even if they treat you like you're not there, that means you're special because you get to hear all these things.

And I always took that with me. It's such a beautiful thing to think about that way. So I'm so stoked that you said that. That's totally my superpower thing. I've always wanted to be invisible, always. And I do see it as a good thing, you know. I do. Yeah.

It seems like a paradox, though, because even though your superpower may be invisible, like you're creating all this artwork that makes people feel good about themselves. So in some ways, you're like this invisible force behind the scenes, but the work you're doing is really visible. And it's funny, too, because when I'm out riding, I'm wearing full motorcross gear.

My helmet is like lime green. I've got a bright blue mohawk. I mean, I could not be more visible. And then I have a big white cotton, I call it my surrender flag, but it's really a, it's to wipe my brow. And, but it's, it's really, I want people to not run over me. And, you know, if I ever get hit by a car, there's no way a cop is going to believe that somebody didn't see that.

So how did you get into this world of competition? Let's tell people like what kind of competition you do and how you got involved in that. I had a traumatic, a couple of traumatic brain injuries. And so it was part of my therapy. was my, when I was going through physical therapy, I had vertigo really bad. And they did a couple, you know, neurological maneuvers and things like that. And then my physical therapist said to me, she said, you need to, when you're getting dizzy, she's like, what do you do? And I'm like, I sit down. I'm dizzy. And she's like, nope, you will never get better if you don't work past it.

You have to do the hard work and being military, you know, ex-military, you know, like I follow directions. So my daughter saw one of these machines in the basement of the hospital she worked at. And then I, she told me about it. So I checked out the infomercials. This was like 2010. And I just like looked at it. I'm like, I think I can do that. It feels natural to me.

It feels really natural to me. and that's what happened. I got one. There was a guy in Ipswich, which mass. I was up in New Hampshire, and we met in Newburyport on the ocean and rode right there. And I picked it up really quickly. So I bought a smaller one, the one with eight-inch wheels. And then when he loaned me one while I was waiting for my brand-new one to come in because I had him put it together.

I had no idea how to put it together. And when he delivered it to me, he gave me a lesson. And he was riding the bigger one that had the 12-inch tires. And I'm like, hey, I should have bought that one. And so I made it a goal. I've always set goals for myself, even as a little kid. And so I'm like, if I get a thousand miles on this one, I'm getting the big one. And sure enough, man, I was out there.

It took me two years. because of winter, but I got it. I got it. Now I have two big ones. So I've got Snowflake, my original one. She's got about 37,000 miles on her. And then Lucy Ball, I got her in a group ride because she's copper. Fair enough. Fair enough. And she's, you know, fleet of foot. And so I got her at a group ride. But what we do is we compete, everyone who rides the same machine, the trike, T-R-I-K-K-E. We compete against each other. It's just a global challenge. So it's everybody who rides. We get together once a year for a group ride here in Florida. And so that's coming up in March. I can't wait.

And we ride together for like a week. But all year long we're like, all right, who's going to like, I'm at 260 miles for the month. I'm like 60 miles ahead of everybody else. I got to beat the dudes, man. I'm like, I've given birth. I have given birth. They're not going to beat me, you know.

But it's really, there's no money in it. It's just a, it's really all about bragging rights and, you know, and riding with the crew and not riding for yourself, you know. And it's a nice little goal. And every month I write it in my calendar. How many? Because it used to be the app used to track her for the whole year. So it was really.

really impressive to see, you know? But because I average about 3,000 miles a year. Wow. But this summer was so hot that I couldn't even ride like it. Because usually in the summer, I will adapt and get up and ride from like four to seven a.m. And because the streets are empty, there's nobody out there. But it was even like just the humidity, the hidden decks. It was dangerous. So. But that's what it is. It is. It's just a global ranking that the people who ride are in. It's a global competition. No money in it. It's all bragging rights. And it's fun, though. And it helps keep me mentally and physically strong. That's the important thing is the mental health aspects are really important to me. Yeah, that's such a huge overall impact on your life, on your well-being, on your relationships. And you mentioned a couple of things in there that I picked up on. And the first one is, is, you know, giving a name to the trix.

Like, I think, like, I give a name to my car. And I always try to personify the relationship, even if it's with an inanimate object. I think that there's, I think there's a similarity there. I think that when you, when you, when you, you almost give life to something when you name it. And so when you were like, this is Lucille Ball. And I was like, okay, why? And you're like, oh, it's copper. You know, it's so cool that you, you're able to do that.

And the second part, maybe you can comment on as, as well as the first part is that don't, it seems that there's something that money, automatically just squeezes the juice out of, whether it's a competition, whether it's something you love, or whether it's something you're creating. As soon as we enter money into the aspect of it, it's like it squeezes out a little bit of the worth of it. What do you think about those two particular volleys I'm throwing up there? I absolutely have a tendency to agree with you because we're all doing it for the love of doing it. And then it's kind of like bragging rights. Like when I wake up in the morning, I check that app. I'm like, guys, 20 miles. behind me, you know, and I know I'm not riding tomorrow. So like, I've been riding extra,

extra this is week just so, because I know I'm going to be taking a few days off and I don't want to start out December like behind. I got to be, I got to be leading the time. Yeah. Yep. So I'll probably get about 2,000, maybe, I'm hoping for 2,500. That's a lot of miles. That's, it's, it's, it's so important to have something to be passionate about, and it seems like, you know, writing is just one of your passions. Let's talk a little bit about artwork. Like what is your favorite type of art to produce? I love what I'm producing now because I'm evolving.

Like I look at my work and, you know, and I have it from where I, but I've always been an artist in some form. but I've not actively worked on it until the last five years. So I can see myself evolving and that's good. I try new things. But my favorite art is when I use other objects to create something. Like I like to go to thrift stores and find this is like a little candy dish, right? Yeah.

It's a little candy dish. but if you turn it this way and lay it on top of a canvas and you pour the paint in the top and it slides through each of these little indentations and you just keep layering it and layering it and then you pick it up

and got something wild there that you just don't have control that's a big one and then here's a smaller one just has got so many tiny little ridges along the edge that it creates creates a really cool design. It creates a really cool design. So I like using other objects to make

my art. Yeah. That's that's a true artist. Being able to see something, you know, most, I heard a good quote one time that said, some people see things the way they are and say why. We should strive to see things the way they've never been and say why not. And when I see some of the artwork on your page, I think of that. Oh, thank you. Yeah. I'm like, let's see what happens. I'm a big fan of saying yes to things. So it's like, yeah, let's try it. What's the worst that can happen?

You know, what's the worst that can happen? And some of my best stuff came about because of an accident. Like I've only told the people at Imaggio this story that the one that's in the ladies backslash, the blue one that's in the lady's kitchen, it started out. It has like a ribbon of dark blue running through it and like sand on either side of it because it reminded me of a canal in between turkey and Greece. So I laid the canvas down and it was my kitchen counters, you know, where I work, my workspace is level. But there was something that I think the canvas might have been a little twisted or something. So I painted it and I looked at it.

I'm like, ah, it's perfect. I love it. looks. I go lay down. I take a nap. I get up and it has spread. And it's like, that's not what it looked like when I lay down. So the more I look at it, because I had mixed gold into it. So like ribbon through it. There was like gold lacing through the blue that, you know, it, I was like, well, I guess it was meant to be. I'm really happy. And that became a customer favorite. So, okay. Accidents are not a bad thing.

Yeah. Yeah, they're so creative. You know, it brings me to the idea. Can we talk about your time in the Middle East? Like, when were you over there? Can you talk about some things that inspired you when you were over there? That was in the 70s, 77, 79 and 80. And when I was there, I was there as an entertainer for the military.

And so I got to see the abject poverty. Like when we landed in Turkey at a place called Chili Field, C-H-I-L-E, Chile Field. And we, as American military, we had armed escorts in our buses. So we get off our C-130, go into the airport, and we all have to go to the ladies' room. and we're wearing jumpsuits, military jumpsuits. And so I fling open the bathroom stall and there's a hole in the floor. This one's broken, not even registering that there's porcelain with like drain lines and, you know, like spots to put your feet and stuff. So I go to the next one, open it.

And I'm like, oh, no, why is it a jumpsuit? It was the worst thing to be wearing and learning how to do. do something like that and wearing a jump. It was ridiculous. It was ridiculous. But it was extremely beautiful. We got to go to some really remote sites up in some places that I can't say, you know. But it was just an amazing experience.

And it made me very grateful for the privileges and the things that I took for granted. such as running water, the basic necessities, running water, toilet paper, you know, plumbing, plumbing, heat, windows. Yeah, you know, those things. It really made me appreciative. Yes. It's so amazing. You know, for those of us who have been lucky enough to travel or maybe check out different

spots around the world, it seems like you not only get to learn about the places you go, but you learn so much about where you're from and who you are, like some of your I know when I traveled sometimes, I realized how limited my beliefs were and how much I really didn't know except what people told me. And how much of what people told me was just not true. It was just someone else's opinion of it. I'm wondering if you got that kind of same vibe when you were traveling. The first thing I noticed, because I went straight from Louisiana, my home state to Germany. And I had always wanted to go there.

And so I made that happen. That's a crazy story. But one of the things that I noticed was that all the castles, the pictures of the castles and the books were accurate. They looked exactly like that. But it was a great way to feel invisible, too, you know, because there's all. this thing and you're just absorbing, absorbing, absorbing. But I do believe that it made me appreciate where I had been. And it gave me an education of the global world that I so desperately needed because of

that education where you're told do this, behave a certain way, you're a robot, you're just going to be part of the working class. And, oh, you're joining the military? Well, you fell for that one. You know, but at the time, I'm like, that was the thing to do. I didn't have other options. And then, again, I understand society is set up that way, so we don't have other options to feed the machine.

I do get that. So at the time, I did not know that. I was an unwitting participant because of what I had learned. But luckily for me, when I was overseas, we were still Americans were looked upon with respect. and we were part of the community. So I did not have any negative experiences anywhere that I went. And neither did any of our group. So we were always welcome because we created jobs everywhere we went in the military.

You know, you have to have people helping you along the way. We needed places to stay, you know, all the logistics of travel that the military brings. So it brings in money to the local economy. But yeah. I want to ask you, as you're talking like, and you talk about going over to the Middle East in the late 70s and traveling to Europe and stuff. And how it was a different perspective of how the United States was thought of.

It seems as if we were once held in high esteem and high regard. And it seems like we've kind of lost some of that. From your perspective, like what is it? that you think we've lost. Like what happened with our stature and what does it, how does it make you feel? It makes me really sad because even though the military was part of the machine, there were so many really good things that came out of it.

You know, the ability to, to, even though I knew how to set goals, they helped me like super focus. like here's the mission what are you trying to accomplish let's work backwards from it to make it happen so the military taught me how to not only say what I wanted but to make it happen and also that that respect for each other and and I feel like that seems to have been lost like I I know it's super simplifying things but I feel like man if we had mandatory service like other countries, other countries have mandatory service. And I feel like we should do that. But I know a lot of people don't agree with that.

My own daughter, she's a very tiny little thing. She could never be in a combat squadron. She can never do that. That just would, there's some tiny guys who could never do that, you know, not just her, but small men too. So there are other parts of the mission that can be, you know, supported. But I feel like a lot of that, you know, there's a lot of money that has created this world that we live in today, a lot of negative money. I think that there's so much politics. The whole part about it, in one of your podcasts, you talked about it.

like the kingdom, you know? It's like there's the kings and these guys are telling you, or Roman time, you know, it's the, these guys are saying that they know better than everybody else. And I feel like our leaders have forgotten that they work for us. And that, you know, there are very few people in D.C. that truly care about the actual person because they've lost touch because they're, they have so much money. They don't know what to do with. And, And to them, you know, for me, selling a painting is a car payment to me, you know, or part of my rent. But to them, they have four or five houses or they're, you know, they're so wealthy that they don't have to worry about anything. So I think money has a lot to do with the degradation of society, the way that people have been able to be bought off.

and certain people have more power than others just because of money. And because you have money doesn't make you smart. Because you have money, it doesn't make you good. Yeah, I echo all of those sentiments. It seems to me that we have in some ways, the same way, it seems like a game of Django. Have you played that game Django where you take the little block from the bottom, you put it right up top? It seems to me that, you know, the easy way or this idea,

that we have put money ahead of that money ahead of integrity or money ahead of creativity. It just, it seems to me for a long time we've gone in this way. But I see this new groundswell happening. Like when I see what you're producing and I get, I'm really lucky because I get to talk to all these people that are writing books that are making paintings. And I really think that the artistic community is the new foundation of our future. And I see so many people creating things. And it's because it got so top-heavy.

It's because there's like these gatekeepers there. And now it's like, okay, well, we'll just work for free down here. And we'll make awesome stuff. And you see you compete with that. I think we're building this new kingdom that people are afraid of a little bit. That's why we have censorship. I heard a great quote from Julian Assange that said, you know, censorship is something that people should almost be thankful for because that means the people at the top are so scared

that one little word could bring them down. So I see that as a positive way, and I wanted to echo those sentiments there. But yeah, I'm always interested to hear someone's opinion who has much more experience and has traveled the world. And so thanks for sharing that with me. What are some other things that you have learned by traveling around in different spots that maybe you would tell a younger version of yourself? Don't waste so much money on dudes. I can have a nice condo for the amount of money I wasted on dudes. I love men. I think they're great. I do. You know, yeah, don't waste your money on the dudes.

Yeah, my last husband, when I divorced him, I just signed the condo over to him. I was just like, I got to get out of here. I don't care about stuff. I really didn't care about the stuff. I just need to get away. So, yep, don't waste the dudes. What about that? What about? What about in relationships? Like what if you could go back and tell Ramona 20 years ago and 30 years ago, what relationship advice would you give her? Just because somebody likes you doesn't mean you have to like them back, you know? I always thought that, well, this guy likes me. Yeah, there might not be another one that's going to come along that likes me too. So I'm like, oh, he likes me.

And so every guy that I dated, I wound up in being in a long-term relationship, which, yeah, they weren't all great. They were not all great. I think that's kind of the plate of the, I'm sorry, go ahead. I apologize. I think that for me, my, if I were to fall in love again or anything like that, it would be super important for me to keep my place and him to keep his place because I find that I wind up taking care of that person so much that then they start to expect it. Then I put my dreams on the back burner and then I get resentful.

And then it becomes something that I created. So, you know, I don't want to feel like your mom. I don't want to have to clean up after you. That's your house. You know, whatever. But like we can stay at each other's houses, that's fine. But we're going to each keep our own place. I think that's the key for me.

So I don't feel resentful because I wind up taking care of them too much. Yeah. Yeah. I think that that is something that a lot of people who are artists do, myself included, is that we tend to become very passionate about not only what we do, but our relationships. And I found in my life that it can be exhausting for the other person, you know. Like I just get overwhelmed. Like I have these grand ideas and people are like, yeah.

But after a while, it's like, here we go. You know, and here we go again, George. But, yeah, I think it's interesting to look back on the relationships in your life. Because I think that is, and if you share those with people, you know, I really think that that's one of the things the younger people can take back and maybe incorporate in their lives is this idea of experience. And I think it goes full circle to the world in the United States. to we live in today. I don't think that we have a good enough bridge between the older and experienced

people in our world and the younger people in our world. I think that there should be more of a bridge there. It should be more of a communication. When I live in Hawaii, I see this sort of reverence for older people that I don't see when I go back to the mainland. It's interesting to think about. It's true because here on the mainland, that's another thing I learned in Europe. because I lived in Germany back when it was West Germany for three years. Back when the wall was still up, so that's how old I am. But I love that other cultures live, they keep the kids in the house. They don't like as soon as they're 18, you got to go.

You got to go, you know, and that there is like the Ohana for the family, you know, for mama in the backyard. you know, like our Casita, you know, like keep the family together. And I think that's a big problem where, you know, especially with the way the world is today, that it's almost like we're setting our children up to fail just by throwing them out there. Yep. So, yeah, but without any support. So, yeah, that's a hard thing. Yeah, it's, I guess in some ways, if, you know, the same thing.

when I moved to Hawaii, I saw this idea of a family unit that is, it's, it's almost like what we have in the United States or the West, I guess you could say, is this idea of like, we're going to farm everything out to like profession. We're going to, we're going to, we're going to specialize everything. So the grandparents, they go to like this home where other people take care of them. The kids go to a school where they take care of them and the parents leave and go to work every day. But we already, we already had the unit. The grandparents could watch some of the kids, the mom and dad take care of the house and the payments so the grandparents no longer have to work. We already had this unit that's worked for generations and we tried something new and there's

nothing wrong with trying something new. But it seems to me the ramifications of this thing that are new are not really as good for the family as they are for the state or for making money. We've developed this around making money instead of making peace. Yes. I agree. I totally agree with every single thing. because there's so much that you learn from your elders.

And then that respect that whenever you left your house, when I was a kid, I'm 63. When I was a kid and we left our house if we misbehaved, and the neighbor would straighten us right out. And when we got home and our mom said, hey, what happened today? If you didn't tell her, you got punished again. So like there's that accountability that's missing.

Like no one has any shame anymore. People are not ashamed anymore. I find it that there's this pride of, I went to jail. Like, oh my gosh, if I ever went to jail, it would be mortified. I'd be crying like snot would be running out of my case. I mean, it would be awful. It would be awful. It would be the most humiliating thing in my life.

I would feel like a huge failure if I was ever, ever. arrested. So the fact that it's a, it has turned from a shameful thing into a badge of honor, that's, that's, that's, it's boggles my mind. Like it boggles my mind that the, that certain things that were part of being a good person are just gone like no manners like nothing. That, that lack of manners, the lack of kindness, the lack of love and peace. And I sometimes wonder a lot about if we had a more matriarchal society, would we, because we're the ones giving birth, we're not going to send our children off to war. You know, we're going to like, you guys get in the room and duke it out, work it out,

whatever, work it out, you know, because I've had enough of it. But I feel like, gosh, you know, and it's not man bashing. Like I said, I love men. It's not man bashing. But the guys have had a pretty long run. Let's shake things up a little bit and see if we can't improve this. I think there's a lot of room for improvement in how we treat each other and how in business and in life. There's so much room for improvement.

and it all starts with basic peace, love, and kindness to me. Because you can overcome everything if you're peaceful about it, if you're loving about it, and if you're kind about it, you can overcome a lot of things. But if you walk into something and you're not peaceful, you're not kind, and you're not loving, you're never going to get anywhere. Yeah.

That's so true in so many ways. I'm actually reading, do I have it right here? There's a book right here. It's by David Walton. And it's a, I love science fiction. And this book is science fiction. And in this book, he tells a story about these, these, a species that used to live on earth. And it's all science fiction.

But the species that used to live on earth, they are a matriarchal society. And I think that there's a lot of different authors that have written somewhat about it. And in some ways, I can see it happening here. I think that I know where I work. work at UPS and this is the first time in my life. I've been it for 25 years and I have seen more women in leadership roles at UPS and I can see a fundamental difference prior to the last 10 years, you know, it's not uncommon to see fist fights in the building. It's not uncommon to see two men just yelling at each other and it quickly deteriorates into what the issue was about to like add hominem attacks and

oh yeah, you know, you can just see like two guys fighting. Like that's just what we do sometimes, like a bunch of knuckleheads. But since the women have been introduced, I have noticed that it's been, there's been a lot more talk about the actual issues. And there's been more understanding about pain. And there's been more understanding. So I think there's a lot of credence to what you're saying.

Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, it's true. I guess I'm also kind of wondering, like, if we shift gears a little bit and we talk about, a woman who has done things in the world as far as creating her own patents on things. That would be you, Ramona. What is going on with these global patents that you have?

Well, the patents, I do not own them anymore. Just to be clear, there was a hostile takeover of my company. But my name is on them. My name is on the patents. I did the patent drawings. I wrote the patents. So, you know, that can never be taken. away from me. So, yeah. And it was for adult incontinence products for men. So they wouldn't have to

wear diapers. Go ahead. I was just going to say, what is that process like? I mean, it sounds fascinating to me. How do you understand how to do that? How do you, how do you go about trying that? My boyfriend was, this crazy story, was dying of esophageal cancer. And so while he was dying of cancer, he would throw up a lot. And when he would throw up, he would pee a little bit. And he's like, oh, great, I'm dying. And now I'm humiliated at the same time. So I go into the bathroom, grab a bounty select a sheet, wrap him up, tuck him back in. And he's like, oh, my God, that's great. Thank you. You know, wrapped him up. And then after he died, I almost died. So after that happened and I got better, I thought, why not take this and what the heck?

What's the worst that can happen to me? I'm not going to die. So I think that's one of my secrets for doing as much as I can do and having a happy life is because I don't recommend it, but man, when you think that you think that you're like when you can see that you're going to die and it changes everything when you get to the other side of it totally changes everything when you get to the other side because then you're like I've been through that bring it on you know bring it on I'm ready let's do it so yeah it's interesting to me I've heard people mention this before and I think a lot of people out there can

with real tragedy. Unfortunately, it's probably too many people. However, is there some sort of, like, it sounds, in my life, it seems that being close to the ultimate tragedy, seeing someone you love die or maybe holding their bodies or just being close to that, it changes you inside. And on some level, can it make you a better person, do you think? My older brother killed himself in 1981.

and he was seven years older than I. We shared the same birthday. And I may, I was, he was 27, I was 21. And I made a promise to myself that I was going to live a life big enough for both of us. And because he didn't get that chance, you know. And so, you know, I'm doing it. I'm just doing the best I can and have I failed along the way. I've made mistakes.

Everything isn't always easy, but I am not giving up. I'm not giving up. No way. I'm sorry to hear that. That's, it's tragic, but I'm thankful that you shared it with me because I think people go one or two ways. When you come to the situation like that, there's people that say, because this happened, I'm going to live for both of us. Because this happened, I'm going to go out and do so much. making proud. Because this happened, I'm going to live a life worthwhile.

Yeah. There's people that go the other way and be like, because happened I can never love again. Because this happened and be trapped in the small mind in this. What is it, Ramona, that like, what advice can you give to people so that they can take that same path that you took? For me, it was because I had, if I had never left my home, which I always had a desire to travel, if I had never left my home and seen the war, and knew that there was something way bigger than that little bubble, that that

constant stream of the same information over and over and over again, the same stories, the same family dynamics, you know, that are going on, that are toxic. It's just getting away was the best thing for me. And that's my advice. If you don't come from a happy family, get the hell out of town. Go see the world. And then, you know, he died after I had been gone for three years. So I'd had a chance to see the world.

And so that helped me make the difference because I knew that there was a whole big universe out there. And there was a, and that's, I remember saying to my mother that if only I could have gotten him an airline ticket and flew him to Germany so he could see, you know, that I, you know, everybody feels like. like they could save them. If only I did this, I could have saved him. If only I saw that, I could have saved him, you know? But yeah, I think that's my advice is like, get out of, get out of your hometown or the things that you're used to and see and experience other things. Yeah, I agree. It's, there's something to be said about seeing things in a way that are possible. And too many of us get stuck in this negative feedback loop. And it's easy to do.

It's really easy to get stuck in a rut. And you're surrounded by the same people that are telling you the same things. And if you don't get out of there, pretty soon you start believing those same things. It's almost like a frequency. And if you get on it, it's really hard to get off of it, you know? Yeah. And then everybody has their roles that they're playing. And man, if you step outside of your role and everybody gets all twisted up about it, you know.

And that's, I feel like that's what made me a great mom was because I was away from those influences that I didn't have anybody second guessing me. You know, it was just me and the baby and her dad. And that was it. You know, we lived so far up in Northern Maine because I was stationed up in Limestone, Maine for four years and when my daughter was born. And so my family, nobody was flying to Northern Maine to visit us. But when we moved to Florida, people came to visit us. It goes like that. Yep.

Yep. All right, Ramona, we got one of our live viewers here that wants to challenge your idea about why do people, this one's, Emmett, thank you very much for talking to me and Ramona. I'm going to throw this to Ramona and see what she has to say. Why do people falsely assume that a matriarchal world would be a kinder, gentler world? I think that's a great question, Emmett. Why wouldn't I assume that? Because the truth and the facts of the patriarchal society that is violent and, you know, active military and like just that not caring about others so much as women do. And I'm not saying all women are pined and loving.

I'm not saying that. But I think that we've given the guys a chance. So I don't think it's a false assumption. Because when you look at the truth of how the men have done, I'm just saying, why not give it a chance? Is there a reason you don't want to give women a chance, Emmett? That's a good question. I often wonder this. Like, you know, I love relationships.

And I mean, I'm going to tell this one. To everybody listening, first off, thank you so much for commenting and thanks for participating with Ramona and I. This is fun for us. So Ramona and Emmett, what do you guys think about this? Like relationships are very tricky things, whether you're married, whether you're in a, whether it's your first love that's like this pure thing. And I think that the workplace, I think I read a stat somewhere that said people that end up in a relationship are usually people that are in relationship to each other on every day. So it's someone you see every day. That's when you get this ability to kind of see them in different ways. And I think,

relationships in the workplace are a tricky thing. Like sometimes it said, hey, you shouldn't fall in love with somebody at work or you shouldn't have relationships at work because it complicates things. And this idea of men and women working together, it's kind of new in some ways. You know, it's maybe for the last few hundred years. And so I think we're still figuring out like where we fit. And when you take a complicated relationship that is supposed to be a man and a woman, and all of a sudden you impose this monetary thing on them, okay, let's just put you in this monetary cage, like that complicates things a little bit. How do you think that men and women in the workplace and that relationship works with each other? Romano, what do you think?

Well, I agree that we spend so much time in the workplace that there, I know that there are statistics that back it up that a lot of people meet their significant others in the workplace because they are spending so much time there. It's a normal thing. You become, you know, you develop a trust, a relationship and things like that. But when I was my first base in the Air Force, we had a co-ed dorm. And, you know, we didn't. The girls had their own rooms. The guys had their own rooms.

But we all, you know, like they were, we were all in the same squadron. We all worked together. And so we would, after work, hang out together. But it didn't because everybody had dreams and goals, like, I want to go to this place. I want to go. So nobody was really interested in, like, getting into a relationship. We wanted to see the world. And, you know, so that was a whole different aspect.

But I think that having women around does make men softer. I agree with you. I think it does. I think especially if they grew up with women. My son-in-law, the first time I met him, I knew he'd grown up with women because he was so comfortable with me. I knew it. I'm like, you have sisters. How many sisters you have, three?

Okay. Yep, I knew it. Yeah, you get it. You know, you, you can see a difference there. I, sometimes I wonder, like, the Institute of Marriage, when I got into a pretty big debate with a couple of friends of mine, and it was all in good fun. And one of my friends was saying, you know what, George, I've been with my partner for 25 years, and I'm never getting married because it's just a piece of paper. And I counter with him, like, well, if it's just a big piece of paper, why does it matter? And my argument, and I don't know the answer, you know, but in my mind, I did grow up with a lot of women. And I came to the conclusion, and I'm lucky. I found a partner.

And I think luck plays a part in it as well to finding someone that you can be with. And that person wants that shares that same thing. But what about this Institute of Marriage? You know, what do you think it's something that could be reformed or changed or is important or is not important? What's your take on that, Ramon? Well, I think that. marriage. When we think about it, I feel like if there weren't penalties for women to not be married, if there weren't penalties for people to not be married, then a lot less people would get

married, you know, because there are so many benefits to being married. Financial benefits that single people do not get. Just the unspoken benefits. Like if you're a single person, person in the workplace, the people who have kids, I got to leave early, my kid, my kid. But if I ever said, I got to leave early, got to go to a teaky bar and have a drink. That's not going to fly, you know, like I'm single, you know. So, but I also have this thought that think about being married when now our life expectancy, life expectancy is a huge thing. when people first got married, they stayed married for life, but then they all died at about 35, 40.

And they barely made it to 40. That was like old age. You know, and now people are living so long. So it's no wonder that people have been in multiple marriages because it used to be when you got married, he stuck with it, you know. But now you don't have to because you're like, oh, my God, I'm not going to do this for another 60 years. years. So, but that's my take on it. I feel like if there weren't penalties for it, that'll, you know, or there's so many benefits to being married a lot of people, especially because of, you know, the wage gap, women not making the same as men and, you know, the being passed up for promotions,

those things. They do exist. Some people don't like to think that they do, but they do, you know. but I wish Emma would come back I want to hear what he thinks I want to hear his take on things

yeah he's he's got let me see what does he say up here he is talking about he's had some he had a female boss

that was very rude to him he didn't love that very much and he it's interesting to think about a female boss and sexual harassment like anybody in power I think abuses that power whether it's a woman

or a man that is true still get some cases there. Yeah, and I could totally see Emmett's point of view on that because I wouldn't want to work for anybody male or female who was going to sexually abuse me, harass me, or be a total jerk. And women absolutely can be terrible bullies, especially to other women, especially to other women. But I think that if we were to be able to have like a better way to make, to make everybody work together, it would be so nice. I just, I know I sound like the famous Rodney King. Like,

I just want everybody to get along, you know, I just want everybody to get along, please. It just would be so nice, you know. Here's our friend Eminigan. He says he has, he has, five sisters and was closer to his mother than he was to his father. He'll fully endorse his mother's kindness. And his sisters are another matter. However, that's super funny. Yeah, that's awesome. All right. And then you know, see, yeah. I get it. I totally get it. Yeah. Not everybody's a good leader. Right. Yeah. I think that, you know what, I think that men and women both have a masculine and a feminine energy too. Like I've met a lot of men that were masculine and a lot of men that were feminine. I've met a lot of women that had a very masculine side to them and a very feminine side to

them. So I think we both have both those energies in us. And it's just a matter of finding where you as an individual fit into a certain area. And like I said, it's new. This whole idea we spoke earlier about you know, splitting up our family and going into institutions. And it's interesting to find different leadership positions and in where you fit in in that. kind of stuff. How do you think we can find a way for more of us to get along? Ramona. Do you have any tips or strategies there? For me, the best thing that I could have done, but I had three brothers. I was comfortable with men. So when I joined the Air Force, I was in a male dominated job. I was heavy equipment operator for six and a half of my eight years. So I was towing airplanes, driving

tractor trailer. I mean, and then you have to load your own vehicle. You have to tie down your load. You have to do all that stuff. You know, you have to take care of the maintenance. You're crawling in and out of the machines all the time. And as long as you educated yourself about your machine, you knew what needed to be done. You were the best operator that you could be. As long as you, you met the standards that the guys met and nobody asked me to do anything. less than the guys. Nobody asked me to do more than the guys. But I earned that respect. And I think people nowadays think respect should just be automatically handed out. And I think that respect is earned. And a lot of kids never get that because of the participation trophies or never having to earn

anything. And again, the way that the education system is set out to create this conveyor belt of bodies for industry. Yeah. And if you don't have money and you can't go to the big schools, then you, like you said, there's a hold in one of your podcast. You were talking about, oh, this family can go back to, they can trace their history back to, you know, king so-and-so at Schnaffenhausen Castle. You know, and they go to the castle every, you know, three months for the summer,

that's loaded with history, tapestries, artwork. You know, and then they're traveling around Europe and educating themselves. And I think that lack of travel, even in the United States, we're big enough that we can travel within the United States and learn and educate ourselves. You don't have to go to Europe, you know. So also our transportation system here is once you're outside of the cities isn't that great. So it's harder for people who don't have a whole lot of money or who might not have a car. to get around. Yeah.

You know, when I think about our country, and I think about what you said about military service, and I think about, you know, participation trophies, like, I really think in the United States of America, and maybe around the world, but I'll just talk specifically about the United States. I think we're so much closer together than the media portrays. I think the right and the left want the same things. And this idea of making it easier, you know, I think that there's that, my mom used to say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

And I think we had these great intentions of not leaving any child behind, for making it easier for people that may have grown up in a war, in a poor socioeconomic background. I think that that was the premise of all these programs that got put out there. Like, there was a good idea of like, let's let's let all these kids have these wins. Let's let all these kids in these neighborhoods understand what it's like. And I think that that intention was pure. But it's like you said, you have to earn.

things in life, whether it's respect, whether it's athletic wins, like you have to earn it or it doesn't mean anything. If there's no shame, then there's nothing to, there's no sort of boundaries. And if we, if we could just come together and say, look, we want the same thing. We want better neighborhoods. We want better environments. We want our kids to have a better education. Everybody wants that. And I think if we had a platform that we could all get behind, I think we could get back to getting that for everybody, whether you're red or whether you blue. There's things we could rally around. And maybe that is, I like your idea of service, whether it's military service or some sort of national service. Yeah, like the Peace Corps.

Yeah. We're in the U.S. like here in the U.S. and at least teach because some people are behaving the way they are because they don't know any better. Right. Because their parents didn't know any better. And they didn't teach them or they didn't just weren't able to because they were off working five jobs to try to keep a roof over their head, you know? And so it's not faulting the parents, but, you know, at some point we have to stop this because this decline of, I feel like we're living in the movie idiocracy. I do. I do. Like, I don't want the Air Force guy that was frozen to be the smartest guy in the world. Right.

Because he was only like a two striper. It's not like he even had a sleeve of stripes on. He was brand new. Yeah. Just common sense. You know, and yeah, I think we could create real programs like they had about, you know, back when people were building bridges and we had these grants for infrastructure. You know, there's so many people that would feel so much better about themselves if they could

volunteer and help. If they could just see themselves being part of the solution instead of the part of the problem, I think that shift would change the country we live in. And plus, like, when I went to Germany and I was living there, I had met a German girl in New York City. And I said, well, I'm putting paperwork to go to Germany. If I ever get there, I'm going to look you up. I got orders to go to Germany. I get there. My first night there, I didn't even stay on base. I stayed at her house. Well, then we hung out all the time. And so she was explaining how the education system works. So, like, they get to, like, eighth grade, ninth grade. And then, you know, they go out and they do different jobs as part of, you know, as part of their education. So it gives them an opportunity

to figure out what they want to do with their lives. But it's practical. So I feel like if we actually, you know, work more on like, let's, let's be proud of. our plumbers. Let's be proud of our carpenters. Let's be proud of our electricians. Let's be proud of the guys who, you know, do the landscaping. Let's be proud of the guys who, you know, pave our roads. Let's be proud of those guys and elevate them up in status a little bit more and not make there be shame about that be the job or that be your profession. Whereas some people ask you like, oh, where did you go to college? What's your college degree? And they do that because not that they're curious.

They ask you that question because they want to know how to treat you. Yeah. Like, oh, you didn't go to college? You know? I do. But I was in the military. I had top secret security clearance. I got to see stuff I'd never see.

I got to do things I never got to see. But you went to the same building for four years and drank a lot and had it on the ad. Right. Next to Finlay. and it's a Boston Gadding, you know? It's so true. Why do we do that? Like we feel like the need to judge other people like,

oh, I have this. I guess that's just an internal way of trying to put yourself ahead or feel good about yourself in some way. But it seems like so many of us have this instinctive way of judging other people. And maybe not all of us, but on some level, it seems like maybe it's the system. Maybe it's the structure.

I don't know. Human nature or something. I know for me having that power of invisibility, because I finally figure out how to turn it on and off. You know, so having that power of invisibility is a superpower. And it is something I do have control because I can totally blend into the background or I can be the life of the party. But having that power makes you realize,

is that you don't care. I care about who one person thinks about me, and that's my daughter. And she knows me. She knows me, all my faults, everything. And it would be virtually impossible for her to lose respect or not love me. So I don't care what anybody else thinks. And that's very freeing.

And so when you don't think what other people think, then you don't judge. I don't find myself judging because I don't care what other people think about me. Probably they're not even thinking about me. You know, that's probably the truth. Somebody could be looking at you with that RBF and they're just mad at their husband because they got in a fight before they left. It has nothing to do with you. Yeah. So I live my life where, now, I didn't do that. That had nothing to do with me. I don't take things personally. You're mad. Okay. I know I didn't do anything. So I'm good. Yeah. That's such a great way to look at it.

And it's, I think that that particular perspective comes from a lot of experience and a lot of, you know, not having that idea and letting other people's ideas affect you. Letting other people's emotions infect you like a virus would. One thing that I've learned that I, that I do that's really helped me that maybe can help other people is this idea that no matter who you see, it's a reflection of you. If someone's upset, like if someone's being nasty or maybe if someone's being kind, I always tell myself, like the only way I can recognize they're being nasty is because I recognize that behavior because I do it. The only way I can recognize someone's beautiful behavior is because I have that seed in me too. So when I see other people, I'm like, oh, this is how I was like a year ago or this is how I was yesterday when I was being mean to that person. I shouldn't really change that. Like that's a reflection

of me. Yes. Right. It's a good way to see. I really believe that you can see yourself in the other. And that's what people are doing all day long as they're mirroring you. and showing you how you are. Sometimes it's not very pretty. Yeah, and that's one of the things. It's funny that you said that because I say that to my female friends when they are like, when they give me compliments. And I'm like, I'm just reflecting you.

Yeah. You give good to me. I'm giving back to you. They're like, you're so kind. But I'm reflecting you. You know, if you were a jerk to me, I just wouldn't even be in your vicinity. But you're kind to me and I'm going to allow you in. Yeah.

Is that something that's reflected in like your in your artwork, you think? I did definitely. I worked a lot of trauma out. In my early art was really dark. It was really dark. But now I am so at peace. And when I create like, you know that that song by the Gap Band? You dropped a bomb on me.

Yeah, totally. Yes. I'll show you this one. Yeah. So I play music while I paint. And so. Wow. To me as I'm like,

you dropped a bomb on me. Baby. That's beautiful. Yeah, my art is totally connected to how I'm feeling, but I'm always playing music, and it's always upbeat music. And a lot of times I will dream

of certain colors, and I will wake up at like two in the morning and just lay them down. It's awesome. spoken like a true artist. Ramona, I'm having an absolute blast and I could probably talk to you for another two hours. Yes, I'm sure you on another one.

Well, I do got something signed up, but will you come back and we can continue our conversation? Because this is really fun for me. Absolutely. I think you're a very fascinating person. I love your podcast. I like learning about the way you see things.

And I like it that you ask really great questions. Thank you. Yeah, you're making me blush over here. I love it. I love it. I'm just reflecting you, man. Okay, I got a little exercise.

Before we go, I want to do this little word association game, and then I'll give you an opportunity to tell people like what you got coming up and where they're at when they can find you. Sure. Let's go ahead. I'm just going to say some words, and I want you to say what comes to your mind. Okay. All right.

Are you ready? I'm ready. Okay, beauty. Nature. Permanence. Energy. Character. Ethics.

Figurative. Abstract. Limitation. Infinite. Imagination. Dull and boring. Seductive. Ramona.

It's so beautiful. Okay. Don't tell your wife. It's too late. It's recorded. Mother. Daughter. Artistic.

Mechanical. Renaissance. Modern. Poetry. Music. Longing. Desire. Normal.

Abnorm. Normal. Mythology. Legend. Elegance. Beauty. Ramona, these are all words I think of when I look at you in your art. And I'm super thankful to get to spend some time with you today.

Oh, that's so sweet. Yeah. I know it was a quiz. It's not. It's just a free-flowing exercise that I wrote down some words. I'm like, I'm going to ask her about this. When I was looking at different things, I wrote them down, and I wanted to reflect them back to you.

I really enjoy it. So that being said, what are you up to? What do you, where can people find you? And what are you excited about? I'm going to find out if I'm in an art gallery in St. Pete on December 1st. So fingers crossed, good energy out there. And so it'll be an exhibition that lasts from April to June. So that would be a cool thing.

there's a local guy here who's building a salon and he's just about ready he's purchased several of my pieces so he's just like to show up with something you know with it and I'm on the artocalypse advent calendar on LinkedIn I'm on LinkedIn under hashtag tiny little art show so feel free to reach out support my art if you want to buy my art get in touch with me and I ship in like five, I ship, as soon as the money hits my account, I hold on to it to you get the art. If you're not happy, I will refund you the money and you can keep the art.

You don't even have to send it back, but I want you to be happy with it. That's my ultimate goal is that when I send my children out into the world, that they're loved just as much by you as they are by me. That's so beautiful, Ramona. I love it. I love it.

Okay. Well, that's what I got. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to put the links in the show notes down there. And Ramona, as soon as I get this put in the podcast form, I'll send that to you. And then I'll also send these files like a raw MP3 and a raw MP4. And you can do whatever you like with them. And I'll get you some more dates. And we'll make it a, we'll make it something we do commonly because this is a lot of fun. And I think a lot of people enjoy the conversation.

So thank you for your time today. And when you posted on LinkedIn, I'll tag my crew too. Yeah. Okay. Well, that's what we got for today. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much time. Emmett, MQ Square. Thank you to all the people out there that participated in.

We're looking forward to more conversations. That's what we've got for today. Thanks, Emma. Aloha, ladies and gentlemen. Bye-bye.