TrueLife - Raquel Borass - The Road of life is Rocky & You May Stumble Too

Episode Date: August 24, 2023

One on One Video Call W/George https://tidycal.com/georgepmonty/60-minute-meetingSupport the show:https://www.paypal.me/Truelifepodcast?locale.x=en_US🚨🚨Curious about the future of psychedelics? Imagine if Alan Watts started a secret society with Ram Dass and Hunter S. Thompson… now open the door. Use Promocode TRUELIFE for Get 25% off monthly or 30% off the annual plan For the first yearhttps://www.district216.com/https://m.youtube.com/c/RaqTheBoathttp://linkedin.com/in/raquel-borrashttp://linkedin.com/in/raquel-borras* I suffered from Clinical Depression and attempted suicide as a teenager, while attending college. Because of that experience, I am now a huge Mental Health Advocate and have spoken on dozens of Podcasts and Livestreams about overcoming depression, being able to now thrive and give back!I started my own YouTube Channel called'Raq the Boat' where I have candid conversations with kids of all ages! The goal is to empower these kids and have them walk away feeling special, worthy, seen and most importantly......heard!A This has led me to create Raq The Boat Live Events. The first one will be Saturday, November 4th in San Diego. It's geared towards at-risk teens. We will have motivational speakers, financial literacy, music education, meditation, and so much more!) I am also the Founder of RAQVISION powered by XXO Connect!RAQVISION is THE youth 17 and under safe social network for our future Creators, Innovators, Disruptors, Changemakers and Educators to project their voice and protect their reality. Built for Connection. Live interactive Masterclasses with incredible humans. Book clubs with featured authors.Community led activities.....And so much more! One on One Video call W/George https://tidycal.com/georgepmonty/60-minute-meetingSupport the show:https://www.paypal.me/Truelifepodcast?locale.x=en_USCheck out our YouTube:https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPzfOaFtA1hF8UhnuvOQnTgKcIYPI9Ni9&si=Jgg9ATGwzhzdmjkg

Darkness struck, a gut-punched theft, Sun ripped away, her health bereft. I roar at the void. This ain't just fate, a cosmic scam I spit my hate. The games rigged tight, shadows deal, blood on their hands, I'll never kneel. Yet in the rage, a crack ignites, occulted sparks cut through the nights. The scars my key, hermetic and stark. To see, to rise, I hunt in the dark, fumbling, fear. through ruins maze, lights my war cry, born from the blaze.

The poem is Angels with Rifles, the track, I Am Sorrow, I Am Lust by Codex Serafini. Check out the entire song at the end of the cast. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the True Life podcast. I hope everybody's having a beautiful day. I hope that everyone has a moment of reflection where they can understand that the birds singing, the sun is shining, the wind is at your back. And there's always something that you could be proud of. There's always something you could do better, but there's always something that can make the

day worthwhile if you're willing to take a moment and understand it. I got an incredible guest with an incredible story, someone who I think is doing one of the best jobs as a creator out there and making the world more authentic. And they're doing that by sharing their own story of authenticity. Raquel Boris, creator and host of the Rock the Boat, founder of Rock Vision, also founder of the True to you branding. She's a brand strategist, brand strategist, a marketing manager. And so much more.

We're going to get into her story today. Raquel, how are you today? I'm really good. How are you? I am living the dream in so many ways. So thank you for asking. It's been a little tricky over here in Hawaii for those who have seen the notes and seeing the pictures.

It's quite, there's a lot of tragedy over here. But I have found that in tragedy, there are heroes that emerge. And so I see that as inspiration. I hope other people can see it as inspiration too, you know. But where I think, Raquel, some of the things that you have been doing are really inspiration.

Maybe you can give people a bit of a backstory on how you got to be where you are and who you are. You know what's interesting. is that I am, okay, so pedal back a little bit. Yeah, it's a lot, but so pedal back. The main thing is that when I was a teenager, I suffered from clinical depression. And in college, while I was attending UCLA,

I attempted to take my life. And fast forward, I, I dealt with it. I did the work to get into a better place. And to the point where I was in such a great place that no one could imagine that I'd ever experienced something like that. Because I'm always, you know, loving life and laughing and putting out content that's very positive. And I, but I never shared about it publicly because of the stigma and that shame and the narrative around mental health and just, you know, just suicide in general.

Like you say the word suicide and it does have that kind of like, that sting. There's something about that word. So I never said anything. And it wasn't until about four years ago on LinkedIn. I had already built a really great community of people that I trusted, that I respected. So when I decided to pull out my phone during Mental Health Awareness Month and share my story, I just hit record on the phone and six minutes in said, hey, this is my truth. And I didn't share it because I didn't want to be labeled. I didn't want people to think that that's like who I am anymore. That's just, that's who I was. And and so it was amazing because what happened was, is being that it was LinkedIn, I thought I was going to get a lot of backlash because it is a

professional site. And mind you, that was for maybe five years ago where LinkedIn was still kind of going through a transition into, you know, more personal content. It was before COVID. So mental health, all of those things still weren't talked about much on the platform. So when I shared it, I chose to share it on LinkedIn because that's the community that I built there. I wasn't on Facebook. I Instagram and didn't have the same community. So I did it there. And as soon as I shared it, it was amazing how many people reached out to me in my DMs, called me, text me, saying I had no idea.

I had no idea. Thank you for being so brave. Thank you for being so vulnerable. It was all such positive feedback that I realized like, wow, okay, I guess maybe it wasn't a bad thing that I shared. It was a good thing. And from there, people wanted to hear more about how I was able to overcome that and be in the place that I am now. Because unfortunately, a lot of times you don't get to see people kind of, I guess, I don't want to say come out of that, but are able to change their mindset or change just the way that they view life in a way that for me, I don't ever see myself ever getting back to a place like that. So people kind of wanted to hear about it.

And then COVID happened. And then we all know that mental health really came to the forefront. So then I started sharing more about my story. And then during COVID, you know, I was on a ton of lives, a ton of podcasts, talking about personal branding, getting on LinkedIn sharing, but also the mental health aspect, like, you know, it all kind of intertwined. And it wasn't until someone was like, you know what, you should have your own show. Like, you should be hosting.

And I thought, yeah, that would be great, but I don't want to do what everybody else is doing. Like, I'm in a place where growing up, I was like very labeled. I was like this perfect kid. I didn't, couldn't rock the boat. So that's when I had this like download one day. And I have to tell you, I had an end-up every explain session like on a Friday. I never had done that before. I had a phone call with someone who had this session.

And he warned me. He's like, listen, we've opened up some like gates here. we've kind of like you know broken down some obstacles some like you know blocked energy so don't be surprised if like things come to you in a way where you're just like whoa and I'm like okay whatever thinking like I don't what this dude is talking about when it's come Tuesday could you not like I just had this download of like you're going to talk to kids you need to hear what they are experiencing how they're feeling they're the there are future they're the ones that are dealing with you know mental health issues because of social media.

They're the ones that are dealing with being isolated from school, their peers, their friends, their teachers, they're at home. They're at home with parents that are stressed the F out right now. Yeah. So unfortunately,

a lot of these parents aren't really paying attention to their kids the way they should be because they're so focused on, am I going to be able to pay the rent? Am I going to still have a job? Am I going to be able to pay the mortgage, right? So I thought, I need to do something here.

And it was just one of those things. of like, I also wanted to bring it back to the basic form of communication, which is just just talking to someone, start being curious, ask questions, just listen. And 67 conversations later, I can't tell you how much I've learned from speaking to these kids. And it helped my relationship with my own kids, too. I have a 22 and 19 year old, and it really helped me a lot. And so I'm in this place right now where I'm going to therapy as well with my family.

We do Zoom therapy. We have a mediator who's actually in Hawaii. Yeah. And my parents, my brother and my sister. And so that we've been going through that last several months at least, maybe almost six months. So that's been bringing up a lot of stuff from my childhood. And I'm working with a coach for like a keynote, just to be a keynote speaker to speak at schools and non-profit. So I'm kind of in this place where a lot of stuff is coming up.

Yeah. So at age 48, I'm kind of myself having to really navigate a lot of my own shit. Yeah. But at the same time, all it's doing is motivating me even more to help. our youth because what I realize is that unfortunately a lot of us adults we forget how we used to feel as a kid we forget like all of the things that we went through as a child with our own parents too with our peers I don't know why we tend to kind of just like push it away and we just you know kind of like move forward and try to not maybe because a lot of it can be triggering I get that

But at the same time, I feel like the only way to really understand each other, understand our youth is to really tap into that. And yeah, it's hard and it's difficult and they can hurt and all of those things. But I feel like it's the only way we're going to be able to help each other and heal. I really do. Like, it's like we have to put in the work. It's it's work to like to live. Yeah. And to just go through life.

Like, I don't know why we or why I felt as a kid that it was supposed to be easy. I thought life was supposed to be easy and I could be perfect. Having that mentality really effed me up, you know? And something very poignant happened a couple weeks ago on my birthday. And that's been kind of weighing a lot on my mind too is that my mom had my best friend, one of my best friends was at dinner. And she's like, mom, dad, say something. wonderful about Raquel, you know? And you know, my mom said she goes, Raquel was the perfect child.

She was just so perfect. She was so perfect that I basically like neglected her. And my, in front of my two kids. That was what she said was she was so good and so perfect that I just wasn't there for her in the way she needed me to be. Like basically I needed a mom. And she admitted that she just wasn't one because she felt like, oh, well, Raquel's doing all the parenting herself and she's such a great kid. Like, what do I have to contribute to this? Not realizing that every kid, whether you are a good kid or considered, you know, a not so good kid, you need a, you need a mom, you need a dad, you need a parent, you need a guy, you'd see me someone, right? And so like just also acknowledging that was really huge for me too a couple weeks ago. I really had to sit

with that of like, wow, my mom just truly admitted that she, like, neglected me as a parent. And my dad was a doctor, so he worked a lot. So he was, you know, did what he could. But that feeling of not being, like, seen or heard or valued, like, that's intense. And here I was, like, a child that got everything, like had everything. You know, I had a good home, had, you know, went to private school, got the car when I was 16, all of the things that people think, would make someone feel happy and content and good about themselves. And that wasn't the case. It was because I didn't feel like I had someone listening to me.

And that's really powerful. And so that's essentially like where I'm at in my life right now is helping others feel seen and heard and valued. I mean, that's, yeah. Wow. Like, beautiful. Thank you for that. Like, there's so much in there.

And so, like, in some ways, I think that if we pan out a little bit. Yeah. And we think about these tragedies that happened to us. Like attempting suicide at a young age and doing what you do now, talking to kids on Rock the Boat. And for everybody listening, Rock the Boat is this amazing show where Raquel goes out and she sits down with kids and she finds ways to not only help them understand who they are, but bring out the best in them. And I think she, the children that she sits with, she helps them be seen. And it's so amazing to me, Raquel, if we pan back out and we look at this generational story that you just told me, isn't it fascinating that you, at the age of 45, when you started rock, when you started rock the boat,

you began solving the problem in other kids' lives that affected you so boldly that made you want to commit, this idea that you weren't seen, this idea, now you're going out and you're finding younger versions of yourself, you're stopping that problem from happening to other kids. Like, I think that's, I think it's, I think it's amazing in some ways. And I think that that's how the world works. I will tell you this, though. You know, my daughter, she's 19 and she's very mature and such a smart kid and very perceptive and just, like, I just adore my kids.

Like, they're just really smart kids. And one day we had this conversation and I was telling her about everything I wanted to do. And she goes, mom, just focus on one. kid at a time. Like, you don't need to save the world. You know, you don't have to save every kid, but just one kid at a time. And I was like, no, you're right. So I wanted to point out, like with Rock the Boat, yeah, I've had wonderful conversations with, you know, kids all around the world, the different ages. And there are a couple that have come back, repeat times. And several of them I have a relationship, though on Rock the Boat, where I've kind of been kind of a mentor

and a guide to them and just someone they can talk to. Well, I have to point out that Aris, who's been on my show six times. He's on the spectrum. So he's neurodidid virgin, but he's just such a brilliant kid. And he's like become like family to the point where his dad texted me the other day when he saw that I announced that I had a venue and a date for my Rock the Boat event. They're in Washington State and I'm in California. They're going to fly down so that Errs can be a part of the day.

And he is 13 now, I think. He's graduating from high school. school this coming year and he already got accepted to pre-med at University of Washington. He's, that's somebody that's going to change the role too. And his parents kept telling me, like Raquel, like what you've done for our son, just having conversations with him has been greater than any kind of like therapy or IEP or anything. Just what you have given him the confidence and you've empowered him in a way that like it's just incredible. and just his social skills and the fact that he's had to like learn how to listen because, you know,

a lot of times he would interrupt me. But he like got the social cues. He got it. And now, yeah, he's like he's like a family member. And I've met him maybe twice or three times now before they moved to Washington. We were just, we were like 45 minutes from each other. But so I just always think about eris. And I'm like, okay, eras was that one kid, right? And I have to be, super grateful that there was at least one kid that I basically was able to kind of change his life a little bit. Yeah. So I try not to get too like overzealous. It's contagious. He's a perfect example though of why I was doing what I was doing and why I want to continue to do what I'm doing. you know so that's awesome yeah it's wonderful it's beautiful it's beautiful and i i think it's a great

story to talk about that one but i've learned in my life sometimes the things that you say especially with such a large audience and so so many people that you may never see their face you may never get to look them in the eyes. But the fact that the words you're putting out, the content you're putting out, can be seen throughout the world and for generations to come. I think that there's a lot of people, like there's echoes of success, if that makes sense. Like an echo of success is the sound that, you know, radiates from the canyon to the traveler you may never see.

Like the kids that five years from now, 10 years from now that hear this story, they too can be affected by it. So I just, I think it's beautiful to think of ERIS. And we should, we should, we rock the boat is coming up in San Diego. When is that event? Yeah. So I decided it needed to evolve. Okay.

Yeah. Just because, you know, that was COVID. So everybody was at home. So it was easy to schedule kids on a Zoom. But now that we're kind of back to normal and these kids are out and about and going to school and living their lives, I thought, okay, well, now I want to kind of do something more live in person. Right.

But also have, I have. I have to be really mindful of like having conversations live with kids because these were, you know, I would have them, record them, send them to the parents if they needed to edit anything out. I could, right? Because, you know, kids can say the darkest things. Yeah. So doing something live, I have to be careful, right? So I thought, okay, well, I can't really do conversations. But what can I do to help? And then that's how it kind of just became this thing where I'm like, well, I'll bring in like motivational speakers. People that have gone through adversity have overcome, have great stories that can inspire these kids. I can bring in someone that

speaks on like financial literacy because not a lot of parents like help these kids, you know, just understand like what a credit card is and how it works or, you know, maybe how to start saving some money. Maybe do something where you bring in someone that does meditation or breathing techniques for those kids that have anxiety and need just kind of the tools to maybe calm them, themselves down in the moments that they have, you know, are experiencing these emotions, have some music, just, you know, like, just have a day where they feel like, wow, this is all about us and people actually care about us and have them be interactive and just walk away feeling like they're inspired and empowered as well. And then I thought, okay, well, let's be honest,

being the mother of a 22 19 year old that have very privileged lives and, you know, happy kids, It's like they're not going to really want to go to an event like this unless like there's something there that's going to like woo them. And I don't want to, I don't want to do that yet. Like I don't want to be that person that feels that it's necessary to bring in like a celebrity or an influencer to have kids come. You know what I mean? Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. Integrity of what rock the boat's all about. Yeah.

So then I thought, you know what? I want to go ahead and have my audience be at risk youth. Kids that are underprivileged, underserved, the ones that really need. mentorship guidance that might not have it at home, might be on the verge of homelessness, that really, really need to feel like they matter. And so that's where I'm focusing on right now. And my goal is to have it be success and be able to duplicate that in different cities all around the country, essentially all around the world, where you have these days, you know, like these events where kids get to come in and just have it be all about them. And

And because, you know, I feel like we have a lot of like the Tony Robbins and a lot of these like, you know, influencers that have these huge events and people come in and they're like, rah, rah, rah, and leave. But at the same time, like, we don't really have anything like that for our youth. And that's where I was just like, well, let me fill that void. Yeah. I mean, why not? It's so meta in so many ways, like so fractal. When I hear the story that you speak and talk about ERIS and how the way you were able to sit with him and help someone who's neurodivergent learn in different ways. And then I see this event that you're putting on.

It's like, it's like ERIS is the letter. The event is the word. Next comes the sentence. And after that comes the paragraph. After the paragraph comes the story. After the story comes the book. And if you're if you just see it in a linear fashion like that, you can see it taking place. And it's beautiful to see.

It's beautiful not only to watch from my point of view, but it's beautiful to put it online so other people can see it happening in real time, Raquel. And I think that what you're doing and so many other people in this space were redefining what education is. The same way that you had the courage to build online and you've retrained who you were,

you could say that symbolically the suicide attempt that happened to you was a rebirth. That was your opportunity to become the authentic version of yourself because that little girl, Part of her died that day. And this new, just like a phoenix rises from the ashes. So too did rock the boat and the idea of Raquel emerged from that place.

I think you're providing people. I think you're providing people with that opportunity. So I think that education is changing. I think you're playing a part of it. I'm playing a part of it. And so many people are. And the good thing is everybody can begin playing a part in our education moving forward. Do you see what you're doing as an educational shift?

maybe I think you should I mean I do know that I was able to kind of take make a shift in the mortgage industry with just putting out content on LinkedIn so I guess I believe that I could be doing this too Well why wouldn't it? You know if we if we talk about that I think we can incorporate that you know there was a time and and

Let me throw this out here and then you can fill in the blanks here. But it seems to me there was a time that you walked away from the mortgage industry and then you came back. And when you did come back, you came back in a different way. Again, the old Raquel was reborn and you were reborn into the similar industry, but an actual new position was created for you. So too is this new position being created for you in this other thing. What do you think? Maybe you could talk that story a little bit.

Well, I think a lot had to do with just feeling empowered and confident and how much that like can do for someone. Yes. So for me, when I left the industry, I left it in January of 2020. So right before COVID, I had been doing branding and I thought, okay, well, let me go ahead and go out on my own because I feel that I can provide that for different industries for, you know, multiple companies within the mortgage industry, not just the company I was working for. because I had enough people reaching out to me asking about my services, if you will. So I thought, okay, you know what? The universe was also like aligning in a way. Yes.

So I went ahead and took the risk, went out on my own, and then COVID hit in March. Went, wow. So if anything, it was really hard for my business, but it was the best thing for my brand. Because what it did was it opened me up to a totally different world. because what happens a lot of us in the real estate mortgage financial services industry, we tend to kind of keep in our bubble, right? Like a lot of people, especially on LinkedIn, if their loan officers are like, oh, let me just connect with real estate agents or, you know what I mean?

And so what happened was for me, it opened up my world in this way where I was being asked to speak on these global podcasts and lives. And, you know, the fact that people wanted to hear what had to say and people like thought that I had value and all those things, it just gave me the sense. of confidence more and more each time I would do something. So then, you know, unfortunately, what happens to is that I also realize that one of my weaknesses is running a business. I was giving essentially everything away for free because I was that person where I would

say when we reach out and be like, hey, I would love to just hop on a call and see what you like offer. And then by the end of the call, I'm like basically telling them like what they should do with their brand and like giving them all these great ideas. for free. And so I thought, okay, I really stink at this. And, you know, it's just, it was hard to have people pay for my services when people once again were worried about whether or not they could pay their bills or they were going to still have their job. So I understood that. So that's why I was willing to give out my, you know, insight and advice for free. So what happened was, is there got

to a point where I was like, all right, you know what? I have, I need a job. Like I can't be doing this, you know, on my own. Like, I'm not, I can't. I can't. survive and I was very blessed that I had my dad was helping me out a little bit I had had a cushion I didn't save money I didn't just like take a risk without having security there but it was running out and so the reality is was like okay I need a good back to work I in no way did I think I would come back into the mortgage industry I thought there's no place for me in the mortgage industry and then what happened was is I had someone once again the universe works in funny funny ways The universe like heard me and literally sent someone to me, a colleague of mine who was like,

hey, you know, New American funding is hiring. I know New American funding very well. And I respect the company. And they're the CEO. She's Latina. And she's a female. And her and her husband have started this company years ago. And I love the fact that she was a Latina and female.

And I just love what they stood for. So I was willing to talk to someone. But I was very flippant about it. Like, why don't want to come back? And I just had this kind of sense of like, this is what I bring to the table. This is what I will do what I won't do. And they were like, that's perfect. And I'm going to be celebrating my two-year anniversary in October.

And they have allowed me to be me. Like they saw what I was doing online. So they knew what we were getting into. Like they knew who I was as a person and what kind of content I put out there. So I love that they understood that when they. came to me. So it wasn't like I had to pretend to be someone I was not. I just continued to be myself and I still am. And so like liberating is to be able to be 100% authentic at work and outside of work. Like I know that there's like a debate of who you bring to work and who you bring

outside of work. I'm the same person. Like you can ask all my coworkers like they'll say that she's crazy. She's like in a good way. She's like, has all this energy. she makes us laugh she just you know has we have a ton of fun at work like i'm getting ready to my boss and he's uh he's actually in the office so i'm gonna already have an idea of like a video that i want to do with him and he doesn't do videos but he also sees the value and like going along with what i do yeah of course so um that's like the beauty of it is that i have created this like position for myself that i'm at a company that i absolutely like love you being here, love what I'm doing, and I get to have conversations with you like this. And, you know,

he knows, I told him I'm going to be on a live. Like, so I love that I don't have to like, you know, hide anything or, I mean, they see what I do with Rock the Boat. They, I mean, that's like so beautiful, right, to be able to just be able to be me and pursue my passion and still be in the mortgage industry doing what I do and helping with their social media and helping them with content creation and just be who they are too on social media. Like that's what's so cool too is that they see what I do. And they're like, well, we want to do that too where we can just be ourselves and still be able to do business.

And so it's that kind of merging of like everything that's that I'm really just really blessed to have because not many people have that. Yeah. It's, you know, it reminds me. like a grunion run. Like, you know, like the fish, like for those who don't know, like once or twice a year during spring, there's all these fish that show up on the shores of like the California beaches. They're called grunion. And the first grunion come up. But if you go and you take those first grunions, the other ones might not come. And so on some level, I see all these outliers

is like the first grunions. You know, I see the way that you have created a personal brand. And now as you were seeking like, hey, I can do this for all the companies. You going out and telling the companies, hey, I can do it for you. Now the companies are reaching out to you. And it is this merger. It's like, looking at what this person did for themselves. Imagine what they can do for the company. And the companies, it seems to me, are beginning to understand that the people that actually work for them are not liabilities. They're actually assets. And I think we got away from that for so long. And it's hopefully the tide is coming in. But is this a trend that you see happening as someone who has built their personal brand and now is

applying those same skills for a company they like to work for. They're good at. And there's a great culture there. Do you think that this is the future and other companies should be looking at this? I believe so. Because it's like if you have these happy employees and people that are naturally wanting to rave about your company and their employer, like, hello. It's free marketing. It's free you are. I mean, it really is. I mean, how better way to recruit or better way to showcase your company culture or who you are as companies, your employees genuinely. telling people, hey, I love it here. Yeah. You know what I mean?

And luckily, my boss is right outside. I'm off of the kitchen and there's the co-workers. I love my job. I heard a laughter, so maybe they're. Yeah. But yeah, that's what I don't understand. It's like, well, why wouldn't you want your own people to be your super fans and to be advocating for your company.

And so I feel like, you know, because obviously there are influencers and there are people that are out there to like that get paid to promote a product or promote a service or something. But it's genuine and it truly is someone that's working for you. I feel like that's the best endorsement you can probably, you know, give and receive. And like I said, it's free. Yeah. It's so fascinating. But at the same time, like, I also have a lot of integrity and I'm not going to sit here and, you know, say these things if I don't mean it.

You know, and I think people can tell that I'm being sincere about it, like, just that I'm not sitting here just trying to keep my job. No, like, I was genuinely happy to see my boss. I gave him, like, the biggest hug. Yeah. It's beautiful. I'm hopeful that everybody watching this can understand that that's possible. You could find a place to do that. Or if you're a business owner, you can create an environment like that.

Yeah. You know, it seems in a world where we're so connected that we're also so lonely. It's so weird the difference between relationships and connections. And I think that what is your take on that? Like, you know, there's a difference between a connection and a relationship, right? How do you mitigate that? Or how do you deal with those two different realms of like, here's this community that I've built online? I communicate with them.

I talk to them. And sometimes we can do these Zoom calls together. But then you have this other reality where you sit down with people in your office. It seems, is it similar? Is it at odds or is it different? How is it similar? And how is it different? For me, I make it a point to have it be like similar in the sense that there are a lot of

connections of mine that will come to San Diego for vacation, for conferences. And they'll reach out to me and said, hey, can we meet up and have coffee, have a drink, meet up for lunch, anything. And I'm always up for it. I have time, I'll do it because I know that that's when the relationship starts forming. Yeah. Right? Because like you have all these connections and you can do the DMs and the Zooms.

But the relationship really begins when you're able to, at least for me to be face to face and to really be able to like feel someone's energy. Like even there was a connection of mine on that we met for breakfast on Friday. And he's in San Diego. We hadn't like we've been living in the same town for, you know, I'm moving. out here a year ago and I finally just, you know, send him an audio on LinkedIn. I'm like, dude, we're both like 15 minutes from each other. There's no reason why we haven't had the opportunity to meet. Like, let's just do this. And two days later, we had coffee. Breakfast, it was like

two hours. The only reason why we cut it short at two hours because his meter, his parking meter was going to run out because we could have kept talking. But that to me felt like, okay, now I'm building a relationship with someone because we felt like a connection where we were like, like-minded, a great energy. And so for me, that's really important. I know there's plenty of people that are able to have a relationship with people that they have never met, but everybody's different. Like for me, we at some point have to meet them.

Like there was someone Michael Ray who is huge on LinkedIn. I don't know if you follow him. You need to follow him because he has a great story. You will fall in love with him. And Maddie, his daughter, who has Down syndrome. And he and I just connected on LinkedIn and we just felt like this huge connection, but we finally met each other because we were like, do we need to meet each other? Because we already feel like we're like brother and sister.

And we met and it just solidified it to the point where I had seen him several times have stayed with him and his fiancee at their house and their kids and Maddie. And, you know, we FaceTime. And so we took that relationship and like to another level because we were able to finally meet. And so for me, it really is important to meet. people. So that's why I make it a point to take those online connections offline. Not many people do that. Some people are really comfortable keeping some kind of like wall and to be able to just do online. And that's fine. Maybe like I said, for them, they can still have a relationship and still feel

like a strong connection with someone they've never met. Me personally, I at some point I do need to meet you to really like make it real. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So. It's a great point. The connections. Because everyone's like, you've met so many people. I'm like, yeah, because for me, it's really important to, because you can, you can, there's people that I've met and I've seen online and then I've met them offline and they're very different. And I feel and a lot of them like are great, but I just didn't feel that connection once we were like in person.

Mm-hmm. And that's a big deal. Yeah. You know, like that whole, there's something to be said about like in. real life energy exchange. Yeah, I like to think of it as like the felt presence of the other. You can do a lot with appearances. You can do a lot with images.

But there's things that you can communicate when you sit next to somebody and you know it's real, you know, just a pat on the shoulder or, you know, like the, if I can see like their lip move up this way or their eye twitch a little bit. Like there's real, their nostril flare a little bit. Like there's real communication happening there. And sometimes I worry that that particular part of the human condition is beginning to atrophy in the younger children because they're so there. But even if that is true, even if that is beginning to atrophy,

I think that there are attributes that are beginning to blossom. I heard a great quote. And I want to get your take on it because I think that this particular quote speaks volumes of yourself and so many people today. And the day came when the risk to remain. tight in a butt was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. Wow. What do you think about when I say that quote? Well, I think about how like what's the difference, right?

You're taking a risk. Like, and you're like, I don't, yeah, it's one of those things where I don't know. I'm just in a place of like, why not? Like you never know. like what's the worst that can happen type thing? And I know that some people be like, well, you could die or you go something or other. But I don't know. I'm just so that I'm at the point in my life where like, why wouldn't you want to blossom?

Like, why wouldn't you? Like I get it where holding tight and being a bud is sometimes, you know, it's easier for people because it just kind of keeps them confined. And, you know, it's like a defense mechanism. I get that. But it's like knowing what the other side is like for me, I think that's why I'm kind of like, why wouldn't you? But then again, there's that whole yin-yang, right? Like in order to appreciate certain things you have to have struggled, you have to have failed,

you have to have done all those things, right? So the blossoming, like you have to be a bud in order to blossom either way. So, yeah, I mean, obviously there's a lot. Yeah, no, it's beautiful. But I think that's the thing, too, is that not many. people realize that the struggle, the failures, all those things have to happen in order to be able to appreciate life and have an experience gratitude and all of those things. But once again, it's like we have this sense of like failing and struggle and all those things is like, oh,

that's that's negative. Like that's not a good thing. But that's, I mean, you've got to go through that. Yeah. So that's why to me I get confused when people are still so hesitant about being very transparent and vulnerable with their journey, especially like entrepreneurship and business. And I feel like there's still this kind of weird thing on social media where these entrepreneurs are making it look like it was so easy. You know, and then you have these young kids like influencers.

I had this conversation with someone yesterday. about how these influencers make it look so fun and easy and there's no hard work. All you do is just promote a thing or do a video and look cute. And so then you have all these other people going, well, I want to do that because that doesn't look like you got to do much, right? Yeah, yeah. I don't think they realize on the back end that it is a lot of work. And there's a lot of consistency. There's a lot that goes in.

They're not saying that like you should be an influencer. I'm just saying that like it's the way it's portrayed, I feel like is not really truthful. in a lot of ways. I feel like a lot of that exists just in general on social media, to be honest. Yeah. It's the residue of conditioning of just do it for 25 years. It's the residue of the madman type of advertising K Street. You know, it's like, yeah, man, you should be a billionaire by now.

It should be easy. Like, look at this person playing tennis over here and they drive a Ferrari. That's all you got to do. Yeah. And then it's also kind of like, and then you get people kind of knocking at like if you're not like doing more than, you know, a side hustle on a regular job and trying to, you know, do something to give back or whatever. Like there's plenty of people that want that are okay with just a nine to five and very simple life and just, you know, there's a lot of women like myself that love just being a stay at home mom and focusing on my kids and doing the laundry and cooking. Like I was okay with that. Like I, you know, I kind of evolved and changed, but it's just was part of my journey.

I mean, but, you know, there's plenty of people that are actually very content with, with living, you know, a certain life. And I feel like sometimes when we see online, we feel almost like we should be doing more. Yeah. And I don't think that's fair either, you know, like that is kind of like this extreme. That, I think that's what's really tough is that it's just what we see and how we can. compare ourselves and just kind of how it affects just how we feel about ourselves. And that's the tough part with social media is like, that's not going to ever change as long as we can be putting content out there and sharing, you know, pictures and videos and sharing them with filters and,

you know, adding fun music and making it seem like, you know, everything, you know, what a happy day. Then we're, then that's where I feel like it's so important to now that everybody needs to really focus more on like that self-awareness part of it, right? Because like you said, it's like we're getting away from that, but this is where it's really important that we actually get. We think about that even more is like, who are we, who am, you know, like have that self-reflection, introspection, like really like listen to your inner voice, really kind of like hone in on who you are because I feel like when you can do that, then everything else doesn't really affect you as badly. I think that's a lot. That's just once again, like how I've been able to manage a lot of it,

not let it affect me in a negative way is because I feel like I know who I am and I'm confident enough to like love myself and not let it affect me because I see somebody doing something better or having a fancier life or, you know, getting to travel when I want to travel or, you know, all of those things. And I think that's what happens is like we've lost sight of who we are. So then when we see all this other stuff, we let it affect us in a way that maybe wouldn't affect us if we were, like more secure with who we were. If that makes sense. I don't know. I might be going in circles, but.

Not at all. Not at all. It's beautiful. And I think it speaks to the idea. of unrealistic expectations that are put on all of us, whether it's through, you know, something that is done purposefully or whether it's subliminally or whether it is our own desire

to break away from the tragedies that are happening all around us. Sometimes we find ourselves running into this world of fantasy where like, okay, if I just did this, then I could have that. If I just had that, then I would be happy. And it seems to me like there's this area Rodney thread that's beginning to run through this story. When I hear your mom talk about Raquel was the perfect kid.

And I hear you talk now about, you know, I love myself and, you know, there's all these, there's so much coming at me to tell me to be perfect. She still says I'm perfect. Like when people, because I live with her. Right. She'll tell everybody. She's the perfect roomy.

She's the perfect roommate. She's so perfect. And I'm like, and it's triggering because I'm 48, years old and I still have a mom that like is so focused on this like perfection right um and luckily like i said i'm in a place where i just like let it roll off but anybody else that maybe was like still really insecure might be like oh shit you know what i got to i got to keep with this label that you know that i've had all these years as this perfect person um you know and so that part once again it doesn't affect me, but a lot of people it would. And that's the problem, right? Is that we allow,

like, what other people say about us or how they label us or how they describe us to affect us in a way where we suddenly believe that. And then we morph into that person even more because we're like, oh, well, that's what they think that I should be. Right. So even with this whole thing of me being the queen of goofiness and being funny, like, there's still a serious side to me. And I still will post content out there every now and again where I'm pretty vulnerable and I'll share things that are not goofy. you know and and it freaks people out sometimes it really does you know I won't tell you I mean there's so many times that I do that and people will reach out to me and be like are you okay I hate to see you upset I hate to see you cry I hate to and I'm like yeah but it's part of

life like they're I don't not happy all the time I have my moments and it's important for me to share those moments too because I don't want people to believe that I'm this like you know 100% happy and maybe 99.9 but that point one percent like you know um So for me, but it's interesting when I share those, that's when people get like super freaked out. And I'm like, why are they like, why is it affecting them so much that I'm not like happy in this video? And I'm not like making people laugh and I'm like kind of just being serious. Right. So it makes you think too like it's a lot.

It's big when people feel uncomfortable, you know, what that does for them too. yeah it's yeah there's let me ask you this let me ask me this one rquel why does it why does your mom saying you're perfect have to roll off you why doesn't it maybe that should land like maybe that your mom saying i love you and there's no and i respect you and everything you do i love you and i'm sorry if i fucked up maybe that's what your perfect means instead of like you have to be this perfect thing um yeah I guess a lot of it too has to do with that we have like this really good relationship now because

you know we didn't really have the when I say we didn't have the best relationship it's not like we fought or anything we just didn't communicate really much like she was she's always about my mom and I always loved her but I've never really like opened up to her because once again when you don't feel like your parents are listening you're not going to really share much right and that's very poignant too where my kids tell me everything especially my daughter because guess what? I've learned to just listen. So for me, I think it's, she's just in this place of like, wow, I have a daughter that she and I get along great. There's no arguments. There's no confrontation. Like, we have this,

like, perfect situation. So I do appreciate that. But I think, like I said, I think for me, it's just triggering. Yeah. Yeah. So it is hard because once again, I'm not, you know, I'm in a place too where I'm still trying to heal. Yeah. You know, childhood wounds and everything and a lot of stuff comes up. So yeah, I'm not sitting here like totally healed.

You know, like I still have a moment. But that's like what's, it's important to share that because I think like it's always be a process and it's always going to be a journey. I don't think we're ever like we ever hit our pinnacle. Yeah. With anything.

I think there's always something there. right like just when you you know think you got it all figured out yeah that's why i don't try to never think that i haven't figured out and then that's some force comes in and goes oh really yeah so yeah i try not to invite those forces what you know and when it's unnecessary so then i try to hope not say things in my head it's like you're tempting fate when you get there right And fate loves irony. So it's just like, yeah. Yeah.

If anything, I feel grateful that I'm able to kind of take my experiences with my parents and do what I need to do with them in order to help my relationship with my own kids. Right. That's what I've learned to do is kind of like, all right, well, what will I not do? what will like, you know, repeat, you know, all those things, right? Because I think there was a moment in time where I started realizing I was like my parents. Yeah. Kids were like, you, we don't like you.

You know, and I thought, what? And then I had to once again, like step back a little bit and be like, what's going on here with myself? And then I realized I was making my kids feel the same way that my parents were making me feel. So I was like, yeah, we got to stop that. So it was making. that conscious effort to change. And that's another thing too that also with all of this with the rock of the boat is I want to speak on behalf of like bridging that general regional regional gap a lot to parenting.

Because just like you were saying, you know, how kids and everything have evolved and with technology and social media and like they're, it's different the way that they're growing up. Well, guess what? Because of that as parents, we also have to evolve and change the way we parent because the old school parenting is not that doesn't work anymore in a lot of ways right um right and it's also kind of breaking that narrative as well of we know it all we're always right with the parents or we can't be friends with our kids or we you know all those things that i've managed to be friends with my kids i've managed to apologize to my kids i've managed to say that you're right i'm wrong i've

managed to be like all of those things right where i think we have a great relationship i mean how many parents can say that they're 22 and 19 year old actually like to like do stuff with their parents, both my parents, but both my ex and myself, we have great relationship with our kids. Like, like we have fun together. Like my daughter, she calls me and tells me pretty much everything. Why? Because she feels like she can trust me and I'm not going to judge her and I'm going to listen and I'm going to go ahead and be there for her as a mom or if she needs me to be there for her as like more

of a friend, then that I can do that too. But a lot of times I have to ask her and she calls me because I can tell she's kind of like upset or on edge. I'm like, are you calling me because you need my advice? Are you calling me because you just need to vent and just like, I should just shut up and listen. And she'll be like, shut up and listen. Or, but usually she'll preface it right away when she calls me, hey, mom, are you free?

I need your advice. So I like to be up front and says like, this is what the phone calls about. Yeah. You know, or my 22-year-old, when he came out to visit for my birthday, we drove up and went to an Angels, Saints game, Angels Giants game because he loves baseball. And like, we made it a day of the two of us and we've done some sporting events together. Like, like, that's really neat, you know, to be able to have that with my kids. But once again, it was a lot of work and it was a lot of me having to also check my own ego and all of us.

those things. And so because of my experience, I want to be able to speak on behalf of that as well. So for me, it's, once again, just taking your own kind of life stuff and do what I can to help others, if possible. Like, I just feel at this point, my life was spared, so it must have been for good reason. It's well said. I don't, you know what I mean? Like I had never really thought about that. George, to be honest, it wasn't until recently where I was like, why did I have never

questioned why my suicide attempt never worked? Right. There has to be a reason. There has to be a bigger picture here as to why I'm still here. You know, and then I think it's once again, like, it might be a little bit later in life and being that I'm 48. I'm just now realizing all of it. But hey, better late than never, because I'm,

I do realize that the people that go through life don't even kind of question like, why am I here? Like, what's my purpose? You know? And there's a lot to be said around purpose and passion and all of those things, right? But for me, I'm just in this really amazing place. And I have to be okay with it. Yeah. I was a big self-sabotage, sabotage or two.

And I'm like, I'm not going to sabotage this anymore. Like if I'm in a really good place and I'm content and things are going well, like that's okay to also like sit with that and be present with that and be okay with that. Like, you know, so I'm learning to be grateful for those moments as well. It's so awesome. It's beautiful in so many ways to get to see the way in which obstacles are overcome and relationships are built. And I really, you know what I really think is helpful, at least for me so far in this

conversation and as I'm listening to this conversation and thinking about other people that I've spoken to is I've seen this thread of like generational trauma where people maybe at a certain age, they're able to look back and maybe it takes a lot of the pressure off of them from being like, ah, I'm such a freaking loser. I can't believe I did this. I always make this mistake. Instead, they're able to sit back and be like, you know what? this is a pattern that not only happens in my life,

but it happened with my dad or it happened with my mom or it happened with my grandparents. And you can begin to see that pattern and how it's evolved, and then you as the latest manifestation of that pattern. I think there's something really powerful about understanding that when we look at our life through the lens of generations

or generational trauma, we can find great gratitude and understanding, hey, if I can break this or if I can begin to stop this pattern, then my kid doesn't have to have that pattern. You know, I hear that in the stories. What's your take on generational trauma and using it as a lens to make changes in your life? Oh, no, I think it's great to be able to acknowledge it and pinpoint where that trauma is and what it is, right? Because a lot of people, I didn't realize I had trauma either until just like five years ago or so.

because I thought that trauma meant that I had to have experienced like some kind of abuse or some kind of death in the family in an early age. Like I thought it had to be that in order to have trauma. And I realized like, no, you can have emotional trauma in many different forms and many different ways. And it's until I acknowledged it. And I was able to realize like, oh, my gosh, my trauma was from emotional ammishment within my family and no boundaries.

and, you know, not defined roles and all of those things. And once I realized that, I was like, oh, crap, this makes so much sense as to why this, this and this and this and why I react this way to my kids. And so then it's acknowledging it and then realizing like, how can I change it? Because that's the thing, too, is you can acknowledge it. But then, like, in order to change it, you know, it was the same thing with my divorce. My dad and my mom and dad are divorced, but my dad stuck around like most a lot of people do because of the kids. Right?

But we saw it and my dad would talk to me about it. So we all kind of knew like why he was still there. And I remember in my own marriage, I was like, I'm not going to do that. I'm not breaking the cycle. I'm not staying in this marriage just because I have two young kids. I'm not doing it. And I was like, and so I got a divorce. My kids were nine and six.

and yeah, it was tough, but I was just, I knew as a kid how it felt to have a parent just there because of us, not because he loved my mother because I had a good relationship, it was because his, you know, he felt a responsibility to us. And they were kind of like, no, you also owe yourself to be happy, you know, all of those things, right? And so then when that happened in my situation, I was like, I cannot repeat it because then guess what? And then my kids will probably end up doing the same thing. But then the good thing, but then also the positive that I took from that was that when my parents did get divorced, they were actually friends. And they still, to this day, we do everything as a family.

Well, guess what? My ex and I are really good friends, 13 years divorce. And we still do everything as a family. Birthdays, holidays. Like he flew out from Virginia to Tucson and moved my daughter. And I drove out. We met up together. You know, our daughter was sleeping in.

he and I went and had breakfast together and went grocery shopping for her. We did everything like as if we were, you know, mom and dad couple for our daughter. And, you know, it's like a lot of people are like, that's really weird. But I'm like, yeah, but at the same time, like, if you can do that, why wouldn't you? Because then your kids, you don't, our kids have less stress, anxiety because they don't have to worry about like, oh, mom and dad and like, who's going to move me in? And are they going to be able to like talk? And that's a lot for our kids, right?

And the fact that I didn't really have, didn't really feel that. And then even to the day, you know, be able to still do everything with my parents together and my dad's, you know, new partner and everything. Like I, I love that. So yeah, once again, it's like taking things that that you're like, okay, this worked and I'm going to take this moving forward or this didn't work. So I'm going to go ahead and, you know, stop on that one and break that cycle. Yeah. Right. I feel like that's really important too.

Make the good and the bad, you know, and decide what you want to do with it. It's so hard sometimes. I love what you said about being aware or being conscious that there's a pattern or a problem. But then changing it is a different animal. Yeah. You know, it's first off, it takes to anybody, and I'm sure everybody on some level, wants to be better and people who are doing a lot of self-work that are looking for these patterns in their life that may be destructive. It takes a lot of courage to acknowledge, like, hey, I got

some real problems I need to work on. And people should be commended for understanding to getting, just getting to there is a pretty big step. I think that's a great step for people. But taking that next step and creating lasting change in your life, is there a scaffolding for that? Or what kind of strategies do you do to do that? Or you have any tips or tricks? gosh to be honest i think a lot has to do with and this might be like okay everyone's like okay whatever is um i've been practicing yoga for 15 years and i used to teach and i stopped practicing for a while and i started practicing up again especially this last year when i moved to san diego i've been doing consistently for the last year and i can't tell you like how it's it's just there's

something to be said about the practice of yoga because it really does kind of like take you internally in this in this way that it's like you're able to really like listen to yourself and there's something about that once again it wasn't until I learned to really listen to my inner voice and my intuition that really everything changed and then that's why I worry about this world that we're in that everybody's you know like a motivational person inspirational person And, you know, everybody's so quick to want to. Like, believe me, I love Mel Robbins. I love Glenn and Doyle.

Like all these women, you know, a lot of other men, like, I love listening to them. But at the same time, like, I also am self-aware enough to know when what they say doesn't apply to me. Or some of those things are like, okay, that's just not me. I know who I am. So I know it wouldn't work for me. Right. But unfortunately, there's too many people that don't understand themselves. So then when they're.

out seeking outside advice in order to kind of fix themselves or you know and i think that's once again where it's dangerous right because what everybody's different like i think we forget that every single individual is different not one formula works for everybody so some of the things that mel robin says i take to heart like there's been a couple of things where i'm like oh my gosh i'm i'm using that i'm doing that and some things i'm like yeah no i know i know myself enough to know that that's just not going to work. And so that's the thing too is, and that's the same thing with what I'm,

I want to like be very adamant about is that, yeah, I'm sitting here like telling people like about my experiences and when I, you know, when I'm sharing all these, you know, insights and advice. But once again, it's like it doesn't mean that everybody,

it's going to work for everybody. And I totally understand that, right? And so it's, it's knowing that you're sharing your experiences. is in hopes that maybe some people will be able to do something with it and help them. Like, I don't think you should ever feel like everybody has to do what I'm saying or has to practice what I'm saying or has to like me or has to believe me or has to think I'm right. None of those things, right?

I think that's where it gets a little bit dangerous when people have that kind of ego and want that sense of power of it. you know yeah so that so i try to be careful with that because i don't want i don't want to see here and think i'm like i'm no expert in anything yeah i'm just trying to share my truth and if that could help someone then great you know it's interesting yeah i i like to listen to like Deepak chopra i used to listen to a lot of Tony robbins and you know now i i the problem it seems to me, at least on some level, is that the idea of storytelling changes and it changes where we are in our life. It changes where we are when we listen to it.

And an example of that might be it's interesting to listen to someone who's a multi-millionaire and listen to them shares stories. But they're so far removed from the average person. It's almost like you're reading, you know, like the Homeric verses or like the Odyssey or something like that because it's even though like that person's still alive it just sounds like such a fantasy and so i think that there's something so beautiful about listening to the stories of people who are on the front lines listening to the people who are like listen like there's a real good chance that my life is about to have the hamlet sort of damocles is currently right above me and let me show you guys where this thing is take a look you see that small strand it's hanging by it could very well come down

on me right now. There's something so beautiful about it. And I wish more people could do it because it's so hard to be vulnerable online because we don't want people to look at us and judge us. But it's that same vulnerability that makes our message resonate with people. And I love it, Rocchio. I love that you have the courage to do it. And I think that that's why, earlier in the conversation you said, you said, you know,

why are people so affected by when I'm not happy? Like, why do you think people are so affected when you're not happy? Are they building up this idea of who you are? Probably an unfair idea of who you are. But why do you think people are so affected when you're not the happy Raquel that's putting out messaging? Well, because it's, I don't, that's a really good question. Thank you. Yeah.

And I'm just trying to think, like, for myself, like, if anyone that I follow, that also kind of makes me laugh. And if they were kind of in that moment of just, you know, despair or they just kind of shared something that was, you know, different than what I'm used to seeing them. Like, how would I feel? I guess it is just kind of that reality and the truth of like shit. It's not all combos and roses. And I think it's like just being hit with that with the truth of it's not always pretty. Yeah. You know, I think we do like to kind of.

Yeah. One of us do like to be in denial. Really do. You know, I think that's why people escape and go to the movies or the show and all of those things. It's an escape, right? Like, that's why reality TV, too, sometimes is so popular. Yeah. Because it's like this weird escape and this weird of kind of like, oh, let me see other people have a, like go through hot messes and go through a train wreck because it makes me feel better about my own life.

You know, like maybe I'm not as bad or whatever. So then I do feel like, yeah, maybe it is a little bit of a reflection of that what that person's going. through. But yeah, once again, it's like it's really hard because if you speak to most people individually, they'll say, you know, I'm not online. I don't put content people. I don't want to be judged and the haters and the trolls and what are people going to think. But if we're all saying that, then why are we doing it? Why are we judging? Why are we being hateful? Why are we saying horrible things on our comments? So that's why I don't, that's the part that. That's the part that I don't understand.

It seems like everybody has the same reason for not doing it, but then yet people are still doing it, are still, you know, judging and being mean and all of those things. So it's just, I think it's something that we're going to continue to kind of have to figure out and learn and navigate because, it can be really daunting, but at the same time, like, I try to look at the positive of all of it, and it's being able to connect with people that you wouldn't be able to, be able to learn about other cultures. You wouldn't, like, I've learned so many different things about different cultures and people

because of the conversations I've been able to have with them, and it's opened up my world. You know, so it opens up your world in many different ways, too, but at the same time, like, that can be, you know, really tough for people that maybe kind of lived in their own little bubble. Like I know that someone had said that there's a lot of kids, I think especially like in Africa, I think they were talking about it was Africa that like now most of them have phones. So now they're being exposed to all these things that they never were exposed to before. So guess what? Now their world has opened up, but it's open up in a way where, you know, it's like now you're invited. Yeah.

A lot of things in. So I think it's just our job as people in general to be able to talk about it and be like and just be more open about how we feel about it. Maybe. I don't know. Yeah. It's a lot. It's, you know.

I do. I know. It's overwhelming. And but once again, I just try to focus on what I can control. You know? Yeah. So, and I can't control the way I show up in the world and how I react to people and what I do. And so for me, it's it's being that person that smiles at someone that says, you know, every time I order my Starbucks wherever I go, I always say, how are, hi, how are you? I always ask them how they're doing before I place the order. You know, I try to say their name if they have their name, you know, open the door just two days ago. Like I was in the parking lot backing out. And this has kind of made me sad too, is that there was a guy in a wheelchair and he had a cart with like a dresser in it. And he had it. He was an amputee. And he was clearly, it looked like to me he was struggling with the cart. And nobody was stopping. Like traffic was still going around and nothing. Like, and so I, when I saw that, I pulled back into my parking spot, put the parking break and jumped out of my car and like ran up to him.

I'm like, sir, can I help you? And he's like, no, no, no, no, I'm fine. Like he was super cool. Yeah. He's all the time. Like, I live right here. No words. I'm like, are you free? I mean, you don't need me to help you with your guys. Like, no, no, no, I'm good. I'm like, all right, we'll have a great day. Like, you too. Like, it was a very, you know, like, pleasant interaction where he wasn't, like, pissed off that I was trying to help him.

And he didn't, you know, all of those things. But at the same time, I realized that, like, nobody was, like, checking to make sure he was okay. Like, because he did look like he was struggling. And that was the, that was, like, the sad part for me where I was like, people, we need to be able to do better. Like, you know, we got to do better. We can't just go our way and ignore situations like this. You know, like we have to be more aware of what's going around and surrounding, in our surroundings and be more self-aware in that respect.

I think until we do that, like, you know, so. Do you think that your ability to see people struggling and no one helping them stems from you struggling and no one trying to help you when you needed it most? I wouldn't I wouldn't go that deep I go deep I'm sorry I can't help it I just like my mind goes down these rabbit holes I'm like oh my God I wonder if that's happening no I've just always been you know what it is

I come from a family of doctors okay my grandfather is a doctor I think I just have that like and then my daughter wants to be a physician assistant like I just come from a family of like like you know empath just people that like want to help like genuinely want to be like we're healers like it's all those all those personality tests that I do it's psychiatry I'm in the NFJ yeah I'm in the NFJ I know I can tell yeah and so all those tests it says I should be like a therapist or a psychologist like I'm that person at work that

people come in I know a lot of their personal stuff because yeah we just feel like they can share those things with me and they can because I'll listen and I'm just you know I talk a lot but I'm also a really good listener. I tell people, I'm like, I might be, but when it's time for me to just shut my mouth and open on my ears, I'm like, I'm really good at that as well. So I think it's just kind of innate in me.

I think there's just people that have, you know, naturally have that kind of like wanting to always help. And I've just always been that person. Like as a little kid, even before I could recognize, you know, that trauma and all that stuff before any of that I was that kid that at school I was I would always gravitate towards the kid that wasn't being spoken to or that was like kind of an outsider or you know wasn't cool if you will I always gravitated towards that person there was something that I always

felt like you know like I just would feel badly that they were yeah it's interesting you know what one I love the idea of making sure that whether you go into a Starbucks or whether you're passing someone going into a grocery store. One of the ones I always say when I see somebody is like, hey, thanks for working today. It's such a cool one to say. Like people get so stoked to like, they're like to register. I have to use that one. Use it.

It makes everybody happy. Yeah. It's really cool. I wish more people would do it because I've had it done to me. And I'm like, hey, you're welcome. You know? It's like, hey, someone acknowledged that I'm actually doing this thing that I'm doing. and meet something.

It's so cool. No, it's amazing. And then a lot of times, like, the conversation, like, I have had so many conversations with people just, like, ordering my drink or when I checked into a hotel the other day, we ended up having a half hour conversation. We ended up talking about therapy. And the guy and the gal, they were like, thank you for that. They said that was so refreshing.

Like, thank you so much. I'm like, welcome. Yeah. It was just because I love it when people can walk away. thinking like wow that was like really cool conversation that I just had that I wouldn't have had otherwise because so many people are so focused on just like doing their job and then moving on and I'm the opposite I'm like no I want to get to know who this person is obviously if there's a huge line of people I'm not going to be that a hole they're talking when there's

a bunch of people online like there are people where I'm like does this person not realize Right. It's just like 10 of us. Yeah. But yeah. I don't know. I just love it because I love people and I'm just so curious about like just people and their stories. So I'm that person that's like constantly like asking questions and my kids hate it.

They like, mom, you're so annoying. I'm like, oh, well. Yeah. They secretly love it. I think. You know, on some level, they're like, yeah, my mom's awesome. You know, I love this idea of curiosity because we can see it in whether you read mythology or sci-fi or whatever your guiding lights are.

There's usually a beaming stream of curiosity. But sometimes it's fear that kind of snuffs out that light. But what do you think is the relationship between curiosity and fear? I don't know. I think it stifles it. People that are fearful, they seem to be less curious. And I bring it up because I think that at a young age, especially it seems to me that a lot of education has taken curiosity out of the curriculum.

We have decided that going to school and learning these five or six different things, while helpful to be effective and efficient and productive, they steal the imagination. I think curiosity is a tool for imagination. And I'm just speaking from my own experience. It seems to me that fear is something that gets in the way. And you see it manifests later in life. Like, if I don't get this job, then I can't have this.

If I don't get this job, I can't have this car. If I can't have this car, this girl's probably not going to like me. This girl's probably not going to like me. I probably can't have a family. Once again, it's that narrative in society, all of those things. I feel like you, I feel like when you use the words creativity, and imagination, it's far removed from being professional in business, right? Like for whatever reason, we have this idea that you can't be a creative and have an imagination

and still be like a professional. And I have found that, if anything, yeah, you can. And I did have to kind of go against the grain a little bit, especially in the mortgage industry, being that person that has an imagination and super creative. And then implementing that into my content, it was kind of like, I think a lot of people at first were like, what is she doing? Yeah. That's not, you know, mortgage industry talk or that's not this and that.

But so then that could instill fear in me if you think about it, right? But it didn't. If anything, it fueled me more because I was, once again, it's that intuition, that inner voice. Intuition was telling me just keep doing it, Raquel, because at some point you're going to be like, and then now that's the case. is like now everybody else is trying to like great content and do it in a fun way. And, you know, now you've got instrument. Right.

So now it's like I look back and I think, okay, I kind of like help pave the way in that respect. I could have easily let fear set in and be like, oh my gosh, what am I doing? I got to stop. But for whatever reason, I just, like I said, just listen to myself and just kept doing it. And now I'm like proud of myself. Yeah. For just like continuing to be me and believe in myself and what I was doing. But there is that fear for sure, the fear and that doubt that sets in because of what everybody else is going to think.

Right. Right. Like I was thinking about that yesterday. I was like, why don't we not do certain things? I go, because we're so worried about what other people think. I go, if there was, if you knew that nobody was going to care, if everybody was going to be okay with. what you did, you would do it. It's simple as that, I feel like,

if like social media was a safe space and nobody ever, like, said anything mean, and no one ever judged, and you were just putting yourself out there the most authentic way nobody was saying anything bad about it. Well, guess what? Everybody would be doing it. I feel like it's as that, that's simple as that.

I really do. It's just unfortunate, you know, as humans that we continue to do that. So yeah, in some ways like I, it makes me think like maybe the online world is a, you know, the online world is the actual, what are they, what is it called when, gosh, dang, I can't think of the word. But if you could do it online, maybe that's the practice for doing it in real life. And maybe, you know what I mean, maybe that's the, this is the virtual reality. it, right? So if you can have a startup, if you can become this authentic person online,

maybe that gives you the courage to become that authentic person in real life. You know what I mean? So certainly, I think we have it backwards. I think we have to be this insane person or this great person and then we'll be this great person online. But maybe happening is that technology, AI is giving us a real vision into who we are. And it's kind of training us to be better people. Everyone seems to be so afraid of it in some ways. But look what it's doing. It's allowing us to see who we really are. It's allowing us to have this virtual machine where we can use our imagination to be our own brand. You can have rock the boat and you can reach out to all these people worldwide. And when you do that, it changes who you are in real life. Changing who you are

in virtual reality has real ramifications. Like you're reaching out to the young kid with autism in Washington changing his life. And that has real ramifications for you in the real world. It's just interesting how that that parallel happens there, right? Is that too much of a rant to like to go off on? It's pretty powerful, isn't it? Yeah. It is. That's why it's all so scary.

Yeah, it is. It's real change that's happening and it's happening at a pace that people can't control. Never before in history has the individual become so empowered. And, you know, on some level, when I look at the stock market and I see it going down, I don't see that as the economy going down. I see that as a panic index for people that already have so much, you know, these large corporations, like, they're panicking because the individual is creating. You know, they're three individual creators moving up. And I hope that moving into this world, the youth of today can harness it.

And I think they are. I think that people like yourself and so many people out there that are redefining what is possible, that is bringing imagination and creativity back into the workplace or setting an example for the youth of tomorrow. And I'm so stoked to get to talk to you, Raquel, thanks for hanging out with me today. Thanks. I should probably get back to work. I know. You've been so gracious with your time. I truly appreciate it. Thank you. Yeah, but maybe before we go, though, we talked a little bit about this event, Rock the Boat

coming up. Maybe you could talk a little bit more about like where people can find you. But specifically, what events do you have? coming up and how can people reach out to you and be part of them or well this is the inaugural one so I'm hoping that this goes well so that I can do more yeah here in San Diego November on the Saturday November 4th so I am trying to this is where it gets a little bit difficult find the youth that should be there and then thanks Tom and then so the thing is I need to get the teams there I'm not short of people wanting to help in some way but I do have a fundraising link because, you know, to pay for the venue, I do, I am going to provide breakfast and lunch for these kids.

And then I do want to have swag bags with like journals and notebooks in there and pens so that they can take notes and write down and journal as well. And just, you know, some goodies that they can walk away with. But we did partner up with ANOVA behavioral health services. So they are a platform that provide mental health services and they have an adolescent platform. as well. And so they've, for instance, donated memberships to these kids that attend. So that'll be cool. And I do have another nonprofit right now. We're working on trying to get a sponsorship so that they can go ahead and have these kids part of this music program where they come in. They write their own song. They record it, produce it, make a video out of it. It's a really cool organization,

David Zee Foundation. So we're working with them trying to get like a $15,000 sponsorship so that these kids can be part of that program. So it's like I'm working on those type of things as well. So it is a lot because I am a one woman show over here. But at the same time, like just I'm determined to make it happen and to make it successful. And to me, success would mean that one team walks away feeling like, you know, their world can change. And so, yeah. if anybody wants to help out in any way there is a fundraising link you can go over to my

LinkedIn or I guess we can eventually put it in the show notes um yeah I'm on LinkedIn and you can you know check out Rock the Boat the show with these kids I haven't done one in a while but there are 67 conversations uploaded and um yeah so I'm just a lot of moving pieces yeah so and any help We'll be greatly appreciated if anybody has any advice or anybody that I should connect with. Let me know. I'm open to all suggestions. Advice. All of it.

It's amazing. And it's super inspiring. I love to see rock the boat go from being something you did as a passion project on air and now being something you do live. I think that you should, I think there's rituals that happen in life. And the transformation of this one to this one. It should be totally celebrated. I hope I can celebrate with you. It's awesome.

I love what it is that you're doing. Thank you for today. Hang on for one second. I'll talk to you briefly afterwards, but I'm going to tell all the people here that. Aloha, everybody. Thank you so much for spending time with us today. Go check out Raquel.

Check out what she's doing. Check out the Rock the Boat Show in San Diego. We'll put the links for anybody that can support in any way. Please do. And that's all we got for today. Ladies and gentlemen, Aloha. okay we're still alive

oh did it in it i'm not in it here aha okay way to go george