TrueLife - Rattled Awake - The Co-Creation of an International Best Seller

Episode Date: October 30, 2023

One on One Video Call W/George https://tidycal.com/georgepmonty/60-minute-meetingSupport the show:https://www.paypal.me/Truelifepodcast?locale.x=en_US🚨🚨Curious about the future of psychedelics? Imagine if Alan Watts started a secret society with Ram Dass and Hunter S. Thompson… now open the door. Use Promocode TRUELIFE for Get 25% off monthly or 30% off the annual plan For the first yearhttps://www.district216.com/Over the last 5 years, what single event rattled you awake? We have all been through a lot, especially in the last five years. What shook you?These nine authors have nine uncommon experiences to share as they show you what it was like to pivot, improve and prevail. All of them shifted with the changing tides, becoming better, not bitter, and bring you nuggets of wisdom mined from the depths of their souls. enJOY!Dare to Surrender…Lisa MarreeShe’s All HeArt…Michelle LaaksRising from Within…Dr. Nhu TruongGrow Through…Wendy WisemanLaugh, Play, Heal…Chiyedza NyahuyePhoenix Awakening…Crystal BeheGremlins…Kim GroshekBend, Don’t Break…George MontyThe Art of Traveling Light…Lonnee Reyhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CLRC4NPRhttps://www.linkedin.com/company/rattled-awake/ One on One Video call W/George https://tidycal.com/georgepmonty/60-minute-meetingSupport the show:https://www.paypal.me/Truelifepodcast?locale.x=en_USCheck out our YouTube:https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPzfOaFtA1hF8UhnuvOQnTgKcIYPI9Ni9&si=Jgg9ATGwzhzdmjkg

Darkness struck, a gut-punched theft, Sun ripped away, her health bereft. I roar at the void. This ain't just fate, a cosmic scam I spit my hate. The games rigged tight, shadows deal, blood on their hands, I'll never kneel. Yet in the rage, a crack ignites, occulted sparks cut through the nights. The scars my key, hermetic and stark. To see, to rise, I hunt in the dark, fumbling, fear, Fearist through ruins maze lights my war cry, born from the blaze.

The poem is Angels with Rifles. The track, I Am Sorrow, I Am Lust by Codex Serafini. Check out the entire song at the end of the cast. If you're not having fun, what are you doing? Come on. Sorry, George, go ahead. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the special edition of the True Life podcast. I have an incredible show for you today, a group of co-creators who have found their way

to an international bestseller with some stories that I think come from the heart and they touch the heart. And I wanted to bring everybody here today just to show that I think this world, wrong, something's happening. There's just this feeling going around. The world is changing in so many ways.

And one thing that I love is that everyday people are finding the courage in themselves to change themselves. And I think that echoes through the world and creates change in the world. And so I just want to start right to do that. I want to go through this little panel right here and introduce every one of you to the people that may or may be listening. Crystal, I thought I'd start with you a little bit.

Maybe you can give us a little bit of a backstory on who you are and how you came to find the courage to write a co-create in this book. Well, my name's Crystal Bay, aka the Crystal Phoenix. I am a single mom who went through a domestic violence. was able to get out of a domestic violence situation that was pretty horrific. And I was brought together with these wonderful group of people by Dr. C.J. and her Global Summit, to be honest. And through LinkedIn, I had actually met one or two of them on LinkedIn beforehand.

I believe Michelle and I had been connections before that. And I have been trying, struggling in finding my voice and trying to help others overcome domestic violence and lift themselves up like I've been doing for myself. And that's why I wrote my chapter to be able to reach out and let others know, hey, there's a light at the end of the tunnel. You can soar, you can thrive. You can do it. If I did, you can too. I love it. I think there's something powerful about overcoming any sort of, any sort of obstacle that has stopped you from living. And I can't wait to dig in a little bit more and hear some

of your thoughts about it. Kim, how about you? What brought you here to this lovely place and this incredible group of people? Wow. Well, what brought me here was Lonnie. I met her. I met her at a writing, an author writing group. And we just connected. And Lonnie had amazing story she shared. And one day she called me up afterwards. I think it was maybe a week later or two weeks later. And she called me and I'm going, who the heck is his lady?

And then we just, I don't know how long we talked. It must have been at least two hours. And from there, you know, we just, she asked me if I'd like to, you know, write my story with her, with all these wonderful people. and here I am. And then I went berserk. I'm like, oh my God!

I'm so excited to have you. You're on such a great mission. Yes. Yeah, it's fascinating to me. Chietta, what about you? Where did you come into contact first? Did you read some of the first novels? Or what was it that brought you to this lovely place of being?

Thank you for the welcome. It's wonderful to see you all. I met Lonnie Ray in an audio. Well, actually, I didn't meet her. I heard her. audio room with Melody and on LinkedIn and I loved her story and our woo-woo tribe. And so I scheduled a coffee with her and we talked for, yeah, a good two hours, laughing, crying and everything in between. And then I decided, okay, I'm going to write,

I'm going to write this chapter. So I did join Radvawake 2. And I felt, I felt in a way a bit overwhelmed but also surprised at how instant the community of co-authors can become. It was almost like, you know, we all here bearing ourselves like, wow, okay, let's go with us. So it felt a bit of like group therapy in some ways, but I felt the gifts that were pouring out of us is what drew me back for round two. So, so, and I was debating about it. I was like, oh, I've already done one, chat to another one. And then, you know, as divine intuition talks to me, says, uh-uh,

write this one. So I decided to talk about the power of laughter and play and healing. And especially my love, being an auntie of 14, nieces and we're all on different continents, and I've been in aunties globe trotted and lived on four continents myself. I just felt there's always that calling of,

how do we become back to our true natural selves? And that's why I go back to being a kid. you know everything was possible anything was possible so often as children we are numbed and taught to be silent by the time we're five years old so the play is where we get to be our natural selves

and so that's what I chose to share thank you I love it yeah that's beautiful we have to dig into some of the psychology of that Michelle you have an interesting background and a way to see the world through images and what was it that brought you to this whole cohort of individuals

Well, I was introduced to Mike Ashabrenner of the Hounds and we had a discussion and instantly he introduced me to CJ, which is Dr. Constance Leland. And instantly she put me on her summits and it was everything because of my story about carrying legacies. and I got sucked into my life of signage for 30 years and I just hit 50 and I was like, oh my word, you know, I need to change my life. But because I had such beautiful parents, they really just warm my heart. I found out I was adopted when I was 30 and it really, it hit home for me big time that I really needed to transform. life and in my journey with meeting CJ and the summits I met Lisa Marie and she was like mesh you need to get hold of Loney immediately and I did and Loney actually came to me as well and we had a chat and

within five minutes it all happened and it's amazing how collaboration and waking up in your life to follow your heart just really makes such a difference. And I'm just going to keep going and keep building those foundations. And I want to do that for others. Create those legacies. Make the moments matter. It's beautiful. I'm glad you're doing it and you're doing a great job at it. So thankful. Dr. New, what about you? You have an incredible story of being here. It seems that you have found a mindful path to mitigate your way over here. Yes. And what I like to say,

thank you, George, and all the amazing soul here, you know, you know, it's always an honor, grateful, blessed to be able to share,

you know, our journey. And to be able to lift others and help others up is really, my really deep down is like when I was, I can remember my being a little kid. always questioning the purpose and why we're here and the circle of life. It's not just, you know, the career and the house and the fancy and the possession, right?

And things that, what were, what's there more to it? And I was always different being the black sheep in the house or in school or when I came here. But that was my, I think when I think I was in on Lincoln, I think it was on Russ show, talk about the Rattle Week, and then, of course, I met, you know, Dr. Constantly run through the level up academy. I was on the Global Summit as the speaker and then the hounds. But it's just, it was always in my kind of like a desire that we need to get out and be a voice for others. So how do we share to make an impact to help others? Because what's normal to us is not normal to others.

So maybe we can share that so that way others can kind of. see what's going on in another view and maybe they can see a different perspective. I love it. I think that so much of our stories combined about seeing different perspectives, but before we get to that point, why don't we bring in Lonnie over here who seems to have the secret ingredients of making the translating vision into reality over here. Lonnie, how do you do this? What's going on? What's your secret? I'll never tell. Come on. Oh, come on.

That's my secret sauce, bro. Come on. I was actually going to do my chapter and begin by quoting Dr. New because in her chapter, you don't know that yet. Wow. That was how I started out. I was because you so eloquently put that when we are, centered and vibe out, we attract back. And that's how collaboration works. And that's exactly how

this has worked. Yeah, I was going to quote you big time. I was just going to plagiarize a paragraph or two. Are you kidding me? Say it. Look, if we're not having fun, what are we doing? I give you the free of free will. Go ahead and do that. It really has to do with intention. And my intention was to give voice to people that don't have a whole book, or maybe they do, but they need a launching place and some training maybe, some help, some assistance. And I love story development so much. And I love giving people an angle for their message because, you know, I think you need to have an angle if you want to have an it. And if you do that math, it, you know, anyway, it works out. It really was about looking, honestly, George, I was looking at an email list of people in particular

that had some issues, some health issues relating to something that happened within the last five years. You know what I mean? That. And they were not doing so good. And I was like talking to a friend. And I said, they have been rattled away big time. And so often it happens. you know, we're talking to somebody else and they'll go, hey, that. And that's what happened. He said,

that's a great title. And I love to title things. I love to give an angle to a message. And I said, yeah, I rattled awake. And before long, it was, it was born. It was a thing. And I said, there's got to be other people with moments that shook them. And so I didn't want another self-help book. I've done a lot of those. And I'm happy that people want to share their knowledge. But what I wanted was something that was more of a bathroom book, I don't know, where you could read a chapter and really take in a lot. And then you have another voice and another story and another one. It seemed to suit the time and the timing was perfect for people to share their shook moment so that they could leave at least a legacy message, if nothing else, whether they have a book in mind or not. And so I just kind of

beacened it out there. I love to connect people. Point dog, I call it. Who do you, who do you want to meet? Hang on. I'll be right back. And they'll just show up. Like, it's magic. It's just so much fun. Wait a second. Just give me a minute. It'll work. It's the same way that things have manifested in my life. Just crazy things. And I wanted to do that with and for other people. And so that's, that's the secret sauce really is it's about intention. And it is a big, yeah. And you know from reading my chapter that's the way to live is according to our big yes. So there you go. I love it.

I'm curious to get all of your opinions on this idea of this world that seems to be changing. And we've kind of gone from like self-help books to books where individuals are writing story to become a book. And it almost seems like a harmony to me. Like the way you would see a church choir sing together, the voice is more melodious and it's longer and it's more powerful. And it reaches different octaves. And it just seems to me that that's the way we're moving. And we're moving in this world of co-creation. Instead of there being one author, there's a multiple, like a family of authors that comes together to share stories that shed perspective on different ways of life.

And I don't know, Kim, is that too far out there? What do you think? Oh, my goodness. So, as you know, I'm the pause lady. Cause for a cause. That's her. So, so, so, so true in everything that, um, You know, I've been stepping through these last couple months, you know, and just, you know, it's almost like once you define your value system and your true truism, like who you are, and then you just share your stories, right?

People just naturally, I don't know, is there a noise? Is that mine? Okay. There you go. So there's like a, you know, it's like you become almost like a magnet. And it's not like you, it's not about you at all. It's not about me at all. What it is is the shift that I am seeing in the world as well, like you're saying.

There is, it's just, you know, once I decided to take a stand for healing the world, just healing one person at a time. and really I'm doing this for my daughter. It just, my whole world shifted. And people started to hop on and say, what is this all about? And I'm starting to even hear people just say, you know, they want to pause or I'm shifting or even the time box that I talk about. And it's not about me, but I'm sharing the fact that the melody that kind of is happening.

And then now this book, I mean, it's like this whole. thing that Lonnie pulled together with her intention, she defined this intention. And she became, you know, she became the magnet, but then she created the melody in this space. I've never, you know, I've written many books, but I've never done it in a collaboration. What it, what an amazing experience. And, you know, just, I don't even know how to explain it. It was just, I mean, we are all connected now in a way that, you know, we will always be connected through this experience. It's just beautiful. Yeah. I love it. You know, earlier, Chieta was talking about the idea of a child and getting

back to this. And is there anything more melodious than the laughter of a child? And when I think about that, I think about how honest children are. And Chiaz, is that part of it? Are we getting back to this idea of being honest with ourselves, like when we were a child? I think you're right on point because I'm the auntie, I'm the fan auntie, right? So I'm the one who puts the kids up in the trees and tell them, don't tell your parents. And I'm the aunt who brings out the bubbles, right? Because maybe it's something inside me, I'm 40 plus, but I'll always feel like I'm a 5-year-old. Because there's always this thing of joy.

It's the easiest thing to tap and do, like in seconds. And I feel so much with all the stuff that's happened in the world that continues. to happen, even with the current global dynamics of wars or whatever, we always, I feel we've been so taught to be afraid and fearful and closed down and contract. Whereas I'm just seeing my five-year-old niece who just blowing bubbles is completely relaxed and open and flowing. And I was like, and that's what she wants to do. It's like, auntie, auntie bubbles. So just even that joy of remembering what it is to be human, right? I know maybe as a kid, I actually, I don't know if I shared this before, some of you,

but my nickname in high school was cheese. But it doesn't so much about, because my friends always saying, why are we singing and laughing all the time? And culturally, I know in a lot of cultures, singing and dancing and laughing is a way to process emotions, right? But I feel, I know for myself, it was ingrained. I think I was singing before I could talk, because that was. my way of moving in the world. And even, I even have a song for you, George, that, because you

have my dad's name. So, oh, my late father's name. And so there's a song that actually talks about your story. So I was like, what? So these are these things of, I've always thought in song. I always find messages for people through song. And so I feel that way, as you're talking about the harmony of the world, the collaboration of the world, I totally get that because that's how it feels for the most part. Thank you. I just want to throw something in there. Chieta was saying to me, George, I'm good. I'm working on something else. I've really enjoyed our time together. And I was like, that's cool. I just adore you. I love you. I'm so appreciative of you. And I'm so excited about this next volume. I think it's going to be really special. And she's like, hang on. I have a

story. I'm in. And I was just like, oh, is it a big yes for you? And she's like, I said, what are you up to? Because I talk to every author first. I want to make sure that there's a story and a synergy and what's their angle and what, you know, we're going with this. And she just is like, that's it. Whatever I just said, forget about it. I'm in. And I said, what is it? She said play therapy. And I was like, yeah, I took dance therapy, if you can take it as a therapy to try and heal from a lot of pain and a lot of wounds. And I know how special it is. But when I read her story, about how Uncle Abu cracked a smile on his 65-year-old face for the first time since when, last time, 30 years ago, who knows, the specialness of what she has done and across the global stage. I'm just so, I'm going to turn it to you, Chiya's Senta, thank you, thank you for sharing your story and the impact that you've had in life. You continue to unfold like a lotus and be amazing. You're just amazing.

Thank you for being part of this again. Thank you, Lodi, for creating this space. Because I believe it's the environment that allows this brilliance and gifts to flow out of us to share with the world. Because even when talking about the kids, they'd all been traumatized by all sorts of stuff. As human beings, we all go through trauma. Unfortunately, theirs was on another whole level. But it was just creating a space where they could be free to be themselves. to be whole. Even one kid

had actually cussed out his grandmother and just from whatever, he'd even run away from home, he'd just being a delinquent, right? But because of the collaboration of the gains, of the forum theater, the peers were correcting him. And after the third session, his grandmother came up to me and said,

what did you do to this child? I just had them play. I was like, he's a completely different person. I was like, no, it's about the community. we correct each other. We give each other that loving energy of this is how we're supposed to be. This is what it feels good for us to live our lives. So, Lani, I continue to say thank you for creating the space

so I could pour out that story because, you know, we all have all these amazing stories. We just don't know where is the right place or right platform to embrace it and then to share it. So thank you. No, thank you. She offered to help me laugh away my broken wrist. so I'm hoping that that works. All we can do is hope. Sometimes I wonder where it's all of us,

and I say all of us, I'm willing to bet that everybody in their life finds themselves in a position where they have to figure out the courage to change. And in places where there's like domestic abuse or where you're really up against the hard wall and you have to really dig down deep to find courage, you know, I'm just curious where,

Crystal, maybe you could talk about inner courage and inner dialogue, and where do you find the courage to make change in your life when you know you have to do it? Honestly, with me, it took what my daughter, my precious six-year-old baby said to me to get the courage to do it. She looked at me. We were standing outside with these big, beautiful hazel eyes and said to me, Mommy, it's okay if daddy hurt you as long as he comes home. I hit my knee. Literally, my heart stopped in that moment, and I just grabbed her in my arms, her and her sister, because all three of us were outside. He had just gotten arrested again.

And that was my moment of, no, I have the strength to do this. I can do this. And I ended it for good. And I won't lie to you. I had an amazing support system to be able to do it. You know, I had my best friend who gave me a home when I needed it and things like that. But to find the strength, a lot of times it is, with domestic violence at least, trying to save your children. A lot of times the strength comes from your children and getting out because you don't want to see them hurt or otherwise.

That's my my girls gave me that that final push of I'm done that wake up moment. That's where I got my strength was from realizing my girls are not going to think that's okay. Wow. Thank you for sharing that. You know, on some level, when somebody breaks a pattern like that for the next generation, I think the world can find cause to celebrate. Thank you. It's beautiful. and you're breaking a pattern like that is something that people, that's generational trauma on a level. And for one person to be aware of it and then break,

like I get goosebumps. Like, you were here, I'd give you a giant hug and kiss you on the cheek and tell you how awesome you are. I'll do it anyway. You're super awesome, you know. But, you know, and I love the way you brought up, like, I saw the signs.

I see the look in my daughter's eyes and this angel looking at me. And, you know, the world is speaking to us through us. And I think Michelle has some ideas on the, She's been in science her whole life. Does your idea of symbology and imagery, like how do you see nature talking to us? Are there different signs that you see, Michelle, with the abilities that you have? Well, I will tell you, in all honesty, I think it's just more in my heart and what I see out there. And if something is reaching out to me, I know it's touching other hearts.

And it just makes me really want to express it and make that person's story just so special. So it's a matter of I pull out the emotions or the expression or the feeling just to marry those words because they are so special. And yeah, with going through my past, it really touched my heart because at 18, my father dies in front of me at my age now, the year before that, I was almost on my deathbed and needing to go on life support. And then he dies in front of me alone the next year. And it hit home and it stayed with me all the years.

And yes, I got very conditioned in my signage industry along the way. And then mom slips into Alzheimer's. For 12 years, she was my child. But she said to me, Shilly, you need to do something with your art. now I had studied art as an illustrator from school, straight off to school, but I got sucked into signage. There weren't computers then. So I was doing airbrushing and all those kind of things. And then of course computers came in, everything else came in and you get sucked away from your love of your life. And I did it parallel to my career. So I still built a huge foundation.

And that's what I want to say to people, even though you get sucked away from, your dreams. Don't let go of your dreams because you will keep building your foundations. And that's where my passion's lying because my wake-up moment was realizing at 50-52, oh shit, I really want to follow my heart. I want to do all this stuff. I need, I want to say thank you to my parents. I found out at 30. I never knew I was adopted. And I'm like, crap. That was the oldest of seven brothers and sisters. Nobody told the secret. Because everything is a sh in those days. And I was so blessed. I was so, so loved. They were so adopted by brother. And eventually when I did speak to him, mom was slipping into Alzheimer's. So he, he, he, he, he,

We both felt exactly the same. We were so, so blessed and so loved. And this need for me to share their love, their unconditional love, by not being biologically connected, is very doable. And I see this world crashing around me and how many children are left with our parents? Through COVID, through these wars.

And I'm like, we need to reach out to our children. We need to carry on the legacies because who's going to remember all those parents and all their family? It's so important to carry legacies and the memory of those that we love. And if I can be a very big part of that to help marry stories with heart, then that's what I'm going to do with absolute full, full, full force. So thank you. Yeah. That's wonderful.

I sometimes think about it like that. It seems to me on some level, like maybe we come out of the, maybe we, I don't know if we come into this world, but sometimes I think we come out of it. And that the earth grows people, like an apple tree grows apples.

And it gives me this feeling of oneness. Like, look, we're all part of this thing together. And when you start talking about legacy and memories and this oneness, you know, I'm often reminded of some of the words that Dr. New has talked about about her universal kindness and being mindful and meditation. Dr. New, what do you think of when I say the word empathy? Is that something? Is that a method you use to try to maintain the homeostasis of the kindness that you have in your heart?

Yes. And really go above the empathy is compassion to not only see the person in their shoes, but really, you know, how do you. help others, the heart and the desire to go above, not just to feel, I get your pain. But how can you alleviate that pain? You know, how can you help someone go through the trauma, the grief, the loss, or if they're out of work? How do you alleviate those pain? And that's the desire to go above. It's not about you. It's about how can you make the suffering less for others and have provided happiness and joy because they come through your life. You have the power, not only just your action and your words, but even the thoughts.

If your thoughts are purely aligned with your heart and have a vision and what you want, you send it out, like for instance, when we do meditations, and literally when you send out a message to the universe and saying that you want wish that nothing come harm, people who are suffering for them to have less suffering, the healing, and people who lost their parents to be united, that energy you send out, the universe will not only receive, but give you tenfold of it. And it's amazing because people who don't believe in the miracle of prayers, right? the higher divine, even if you don't believe in God, Buddha, whatever, but that's the law. If you talk about science, that's the law and the quantum that you go above that.

And so it's amazing how, I think because I've gone through a lot, and in the book, I only kind of scratched the surface. There's more to it, but I don't want to kind of fireholds people, but literally I get this Goosebump because a lot of things are what I want, even my vision and my thoughts, I haven't write it down, I haven't said it, but it comes to me because of my intentions is always there. I have a lose sight of what I need to do because when you are grounded like that, you won't be sway. You have a mission.

You are just a vehicle that you are a messenger to tell the world. And we're all tools. We're all healing. It's just different modality. right? It's just very powerful. Yeah, that's really well said. I love the idea of being tools for change on some level. And that kind of, you know, a lot of the times, and I know everyone in this room at some point in time has probably asked themselves a question, why me? You know, and that's where you get stuck.

This why me? And the answer is because you're strong enough to handle it. But more than that, I know you can handle it. And when you're done, I want you to go help other people. People can understand that this thing that's called suffering is a collective sharing of pain. Like, wow, then it becomes this thing where, hey, the suffering becomes the thing that binds us together. Lonnie, you talk to so many people with so many stories. What do you think is the relationship between suffering? Like, you talk to so many people and they all have these stories. How do you see the relationship between people and suffering?

And is there a greater good? Can it be a gift? The relationship between people and suffering. I don't understand the question. Well, it seems to me that on an individual basis, we suffer in silence, and it's very painful. I hate that part. Yeah, of course.

All of us do. But isn't it necessary so that you can find someone else who is suffering and then you can see yourself in them? You know, when you brought us all together, you would spoke a little bit about the way in which all of our stories tie together and create this woven tapestry of, look at this beautiful imagery right here. But this all came from pain.

Like all of us are sharing stories that maybe on some level when it happened. We weren't proud of. But we found a way to weave it into this incredible blanket that can comfort people. Like that's the story of suffering, right? Like, do you see that? And you've done it for multiple. You've done it for 24 people so far, Lonnie. So like, I guess that's, does that even out the question a little bit?

Like, what is this thing called suffering? This is a law school question for you? I appreciate the question, George. Not everybody gets back up. And some people identify what their suffering, and I did for a long time. Personally, I was an angry person. I told people I was pissed off for five years as a joke, but it was a lot longer than that. And what I think that we've decided to do was to make it matter somehow.

I used to say that prayer myself, somehow, some way, someday make it matter that, you know, I haven't just gone through this for nothing because this has not been shits and giggles. This has been really, really hard. And I hope that it can someday serve somehow. And what I found is that there were other people like me. I'm not the only one who wants to bring some kind of here's the magic dust that work for me. I hope this works for you. Try it on like a shirt, see what parts fit, throw away the rest.

that I know that everyone has their special sauce, their special, you know, their path that they cultivated and the breadcrumbs that they want to leave behind. I couldn't be the only one. As far as, I don't think that suffering was, I don't think our planet was meant for suffering. I think that it has devolved into that. I believe if we want to go there, George, and I know you can. Yeah, what would everyone? The, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I think that it's, right. Right.

That doesn't make it at all. Like, it doesn't. Um, I, I, I think that, um, there has been a lot of overbearing, um, control or manipulations over what this beautiful planet was meant to be. and that there are those of us who recognize that still and are still just fighting like blooms coming out, the winter snow, just going, you know what?

I'm going to do it. You know, try and stop me. No, don't, because I've been through enough things. The, I think what we're trying to do innately in all of us is that there is a core understanding of, hey, this actually could be better, should be better, maybe. even and I'm here to restore my little attractive land, my little place of influence. And when I saw on a bigger scale what was going on a global scale with the clown show on parade,

and I just went, oh, okay, it's like that, huh? Oh, okay. I can't fix that, but what I know is that locally we can make a difference. Think global, act local. And so how can we transform ourselves, transmute what we're seeing and then translate it into a way that can become relatable and useful to other people seeking to get out of their pain in some way and feeling confounded for decades and feeling broken myself and that I was never going to get any better things were never going to be anything but a struggle and that was my destiny my whatever I was just like that part socks I don't like that thought maybe there's something else And when we start questioning, maybe there's something else.

Maybe there's more. That's when the answers start to come. And so I question the need for suffering. I don't believe in it. I don't. I think it has been brought on. But I think it's an imbalance in a natural system. For instance, nature knows what to do if we just leave it alone.

And I think human beings, for the most part, 99.9% of us that aren't NPCs. are genuinely real people. You can laugh for us. It's okay. I'm just calling it like it is. It's the way I see it anyway. Take it for what you want. We are genuinely love-based.

And those who aren't don't like us anymore than we care for those who want to hurt people. And so there is this duality going on of, well, we should just allow all things. And yeah, I get that. But I don't think that we should condone or be silent when they're suffering unnecessary that's motivated by profit and greed and ego. And so as humans being here doing what we're doing, I think it's up to us. It's on us, those of us who get who we are and our spiritual connection and the power that lies within each of us.

To impact change from the inside out. and to ripple that out like a little pebble that's thrown in the middle of the lake, it will not only reach the edges, it will go back to the center too. And I think in that regard, we can create waves that matter and that don't accept that suffering is okay because it's not, it's not okay what's happening for people and two people. They didn't manifest that. They didn't come here to experience that.

I don't buy that. I don't, I think it's happened to them. I can't imagine a soul saying, yeah, I want to be, you know, SRA. It's just not okay with me. And I think that that's maybe some philosophy that we try to wrap around things we don't understand that are going on just so we can try to grasp some sense or sensibility or make sense of it in a crazy, crazy world that's revealing itself to be what it truly is, which is motivated by ego power and greed and control. And it's up to us to shine our light and be beacons of light for those who are looking for you know because they're mumbling

stumbling and fumbling through the darkness just like each of us were at one point and it's on us if nothing else our lives have value to turn back and go hey I have a lantern and a map and follow my giggle because I finally learned how to laugh so you know just follow me out of the freaking Let's go. Whatever's happened, I don't think it needs to be your future and your destiny. And I don't think you came here just to experience being beaten up or hurt or that that's your, that's your purpose. I don't think so. I think really, ultimately, our purpose is to realize, call bullshit and say, no.

No. I'm not buying the story. I'm not buying the whole wrap around that this is what you came to experience. because if we really did have a higher self, and I believe we do, it didn't intentionally decide to dumb down and come here. I don't think so. I think that we have been subjected to some really dark things, and us with strong lights and strong spines and strong will are standing up and going,

you know what? Not doing this anymore. We're not because silence is compliant. And so I wanted to give voices in the Routle to Wake movement, the opportunity to say I found my way out follow the light and the giggle and we'll find our way together

yeah I think that there's so much trauma out there and maybe maybe I heard a good quote one time that was something along the lines of you can't control what happens to you but you and you alone can control the meaning of it and it sounds to me like when you when you

when you find a way to control the meaning of your story you could change your life because you can change the outlook and you can change your relationship to things. I don't know. Kim, what do you think about changing? This is great. What do you think? Well, so really, Lonnie's on to something here. So what I actually, I'm actually very data driven. I'm a computer scientist, cognitive scientist, but I'm also an artist, right? And I am totally hearing what you're saying about

this fluff around whatever that word is, right? What I teach people is really the framework around getting the tangibility of what they are dealing with, patterns, triggers, anger, stress, fears, all those soft things we talk about. I will say soft skills, right? And there is a way to understand the judgments around what we see in it. But we have to go through a framework to understand a simple framework. And then understanding that it's all data, everything, everything is all data, and deciding how long you sit, I always call it in the black hole of whatever that feeling is that you're dealing with. But it's good to sit in that black hole for a while.

And Crystal's word, Phoenix, I always say, sitting in that black hole and feeling it, being in it, deciding in it, though, not staying for too long, and then rising like a phoenix out of the hole, right, and becoming a whole new person. And my grandma was said to me, you know, she loved butterflies and I always said, and we were very, very, very close. And she, I used to, I always hang out with her, right? I'd be drawing. Everything I did was just so much more fantastical than, you know, I'd write something and, oh my goodness, you know. And that. who I loved being around the most. And I asked her one day, I said,

Grandma, why do you like butterfly so much? And she says, well, Kim, it's this easy. She said, there's a little caterpillar crawling along. And she says, it's just amazing how a caterpillar, and kind of an ugly thing that's crawling on the ground, can turn into this beautiful, beautiful flying creature. And everyone is different. Every butterfly is different.

And so there is truisms around, you know, us and the whole thing around pause is, you know, let's pause, unplug, and breathe. And I'm not saying this is a bad thing. I'm saying let's take our power back, right? So the power is in, and you said it. You said the empowering us to decide. Because we're accepting everything that comes to us saying, this is what, you are. And then letting your ego be because there's a difference between being vulnerable and

having ego. And God, the spirit, whoever gave us all of this on this earth. It's not that ego is bad or good. And it's not that vulnerability is bad or good. Everything is one or the other, the yang yang. And it's there for a reason. And to understand that, being empowered to understand that, and then not making it wrong or right, but living through it and designing and understanding the judgments we have, or the other word, there's a judgment in another one, the two different things that you make assumptions around,

understanding that they are and the judgments of someone else. We're just not taking the time to even understanding ourselves enough, understanding what we don't agree on or agree on, lying to ourselves a lot, a lot, lying being the truisms around the decisions we say we're going to make around ourselves or not. And I'm getting a little bit conflict, you know, like, but it is truly not even talking to another person, and I keep bringing people back to leave it to Beaver. I loved that show. And if you go and watch that again right now,

you would see how well they articulated to each other. Beave would come home. right beva come home with a problem and dad would be there and instead of beb looking in this thing like this and dad's in the newspaper dad came over to beve and said hey beef how was your day and then beve would talk about his problem and then his dad you know would articulate watching that we're missing that that conversation between each other even and then we don't have conversations so we have conversations in ourselves and create all these conversations in our head that are not they're just going all over the place, right? So when you talk about the suffering word, right? We've made that word. It's an example, but there's so many. We've made that word something more, a flowery thing,

a black hole thing, whatever it may be, than what it needs to be. So it's just understanding that and, you know, using the frameworks, understand that everything really is data in the end, and you can make a decision around it. Yeah, I like that. I, I, I think that if we have the ability to define our terms and understand the ideas of other people who are acting with us, then you can understand motivations and you can understand what people are trying to get across. A lot of the times the problems begin with frustration at something that maybe you didn't even do, but it just gets passed on through you. And it's interesting, this idea of meaning.

Sometimes I think that we're just, our language is so rudimentary that we don't, have a real clear way to communicate our feelings. And when you can't communicate your feelings, you do like a child and you scream and you cry because you need something, but you can't get it across because you can't communicate to them, you know? And I love the idea of the caterpillar and the butterfly. There's another one that's similar about a snake that sheds its skin. It must find its way to the rocky ground and move around and make itself so vulnerable that it's something can get to it, you know? And when you do that, oh, it gives me chills. Like, You can die if you're vulnerable.

And I think we have that fear. Chiazza, what say you about the idea of vulnerability and suffering and meaning? The word ritual came up for me. Love it. Because I totally resonate with you, Lonnie, about the suffering that we go through as human beings as to what is the point of all of this, right? And I've been through my 20-plus years of doing various healing processes. But I come back to my origins. I'm originally.

Zerushana from Zimbabwe. And as much as I was brought up in the colonial, British environment, private school, and all of that, there's certain ways of being that are so innate, which I don't even just only put to only Africans. I find it globally, because I seem to be invited into these settings where that way of being is held with reverence, right? The way of being is called Ubuntu. And I know the various cultures have the same name. Like, it's in Kalesh in Mayan. I know it's even just namaste for the Indians.

It's basically the divinity in me sees the divinity in you. I am because you are, right? So in recognizing that whatever suffering I'm going through, I'm also connected to somebody else's suffering. But at the same time, I can also be connected to somebody's joy, somebody's compassion, somebody's peace. So as much as we're going through those various emotions, what I've found in a lot of cultures is the power of circle, power of doing something that channels it where you don't need words.

That's where the music comes in. That's where the chanting comes in. That's where the dancing comes in. And I've been in circles like that with other Native Americans or even at home in Zimbabwe. It's the same thing. All night rituals of processing all of that emotion, processing all of whatever. needs to be shed, as you said, like a snake, or even birthing into the, from the big caterpillar into a mariposa. I'm already thinking of Enkanto. I'm singing in the side of a bitosur. Yes.

So I was thinking, singing about the mariposa. So that's where I'm feeling that as much as we see all the suffering, et cetera, I think a lot of cultures know how to transform that energy, right, through ritual, through dancing, through singing, through, even the drum, I know it's very popular, that's in the heartbeat, right? Once you get into the rhythm of that heartbeat, the magic that happens when a whole circle of people are doing it, even within, I know I used to even do a thing of sitting in silence, but even that silence, synchronizing your heartbeat, synchronizing, just being fully present, you don't even have to say a word.

You can be there for five minutes. You can be there for an hour, but you, so I'm, I guess mainly what I'm saying is there is that calling of how do we bring back ritual into our daily lives? With all of this modernization, unfortunately, we've been mostly being alienated from it. And yet I still feel it's very present because my great-grandmother decided to come back through me, and I know that's sounding woo-woo, but what I mean is when I was in college, my sophomore year, I was feeling lost. I was being so well, all well-educated in Minnesota, learning all these degree stuff, but I kept feeling that the more I learned in that college, the less I knew about myself.

And so I looked up an Bera teacher who happens to be Jewish American in Berkeley, California. But she'd been playing the Mbita, which is our Ashona instrument that has been played for thousands of years. And in two weeks, I was taught 12 songs and how to play them. But she says nobody ever does that. But then I got back home and I was playing this one particular song to my grandma. I was like, oh, grandma, this is when I learned. And I'm playing it. And she starts sobbing and saying,

how can my granddaughter who's lived in China and the U.S. come back to me playing my mother's song? I don't know a single thing about her until that moment. What? Yeah. Wow. That's so cool. Because that's my...

So as much as it's not just a physical. Like you said, Nani, the higher being, we have access to that. We have access to that. way of being. It speaks through us. Even just the way that you bring us together, Lonnie, I was like, wow, it's that internal wisdom that continues to find itself. Yes, unfortunately, we go through some sufferings, yes. Unfortunately, as human beings, we go through whatever we go through. I know even for myself, I know you can't see it, but, you know, my head was split open and my cheek

shredded with barbed wire when I was 10 years old. But again, when it's not your time, it's not your time. And I'm so grateful that I've lived the life that I have, because even when I was thinking about you, Dr. No, especially, because I've been through a lot of, like the art of living and a lot of meditation, a lot of, not just even yoga, but even in the art of living, they also presence the power of singing. They call a satsan, right, where all you're doing is singing and being fully present to your divine connection. And all of that completely transformed so many different people. So over and over again, you hear people have been healed. People are much better. I know I've played my embitter at certain places and people come up to me.

It's like, this one professor when I was in grad school comes up to me, says, Chedza. I was in a car accident three days ago. My whole spine was bruised. I could barely walk. Just from listening to your song, I can walk freely now. And I know it's not me. I feel it's the old channels of that. Oh, I didn't expect to go that deep today. Oh, girl. That's where the word ritual comes from me in all that we're doing. Even the power of the circle in storytelling, that's how I feel it's been like for me with Yolani, even with these past two experiences, wow, in one month.

But yeah, when the pressure's on, you need to do this, it happens. Where even there's always a lot of cultures that do the power of sitting in a circle and sharing stories, I always just picture the fireplace or even underneath the tree. right? That's where we get to be and to listen. Because unfortunately, our very fast-paced cultures these days don't know how to listen a lot more. And that's why I love the LinkedIn audio rooms because we force to listen and not be distracted by, you know, what people look like, whatever. But just really listen to what is being shared. And also even in the power of listening, I find people bear their hearts much more easily because they feel heard and seen, even if we don't like CC them.

Does that make sense? So I'll oppose that. I was just thinking about ritual. That's what came to me. Thank you. I love it. I often, just thinking about someone sitting in a circle, if you're in a circle, you're a part of something.

And it's just the whole symbolic understanding of a part of this thing right here. And it brings up the idea of like ceremonies and rites of passage, which seem to be absent in the Western world. And imagine a young woman or a young man going through a ceremony, whether becoming a woman or becoming a man. The young child gets to see their older brother going through a ceremony that one day they'll go through. The older brother gets to go through it

and see his little brother and the elders. The elder gets to remember a time when he went through it and when he didn't go through it. And in some way, you're getting to see the progression of life and all its strengths and all its traumas from a third person point of view. We don't really have a whole lot of that in this world. Dr. Newt, what do you think about the incredible comments

that Chietta was talking about rituals and what now. What's your take on all that? It's a cultural, spiritual that I guess for me, it's more of like it's in our DNA, right? It's not woo, but in American Western world, it becomes woo-woo. You're talking about that higher being, that nobody physically see what they naked eye, you know? that you're not able to sense the rationale of that's where our mind become blocked because we become judgmental, right? So in our cultures, I know, I know that people share what they believe, but for me, in our cultures, we believe in past life, recarnations, and why we hear

and the things that happen to us, and whether the pain, no one wants pain. You know, no one's here to request pain, but how we deal with the situations, how we deal with the emotions, whether it's inflict on us, someone calls us by whether it's verbal abuse or physical abuse or environmental things that are happening to us, but it's how we deal with it. And that's the challenge, I think, in the Western because in the world that we live in, material. and things like that. We don't lack none of that, right? But we lack is the eternal bond that we all are one. Going back to the oneness, we all crave for love. We all crave to be hurt.

We all crave to be healed. No one wants to be sick in bed, right? No one, you know, at the end of the day, what is that commonality when we see positivity? Everything will be positive. But the same situation when we see, negative, then you're going to start having war. You're going to see bias.

You can see, oh, you know, you don't agree with me. I don't like you. And this and that, that's how it costs. But if you see that it is beautiful on one perspective, that's like the tree growing different branches and leaves, right? We all connected. We all want. We're brothers and sisters that we are divinely,

whether you believe or not, but we are brought. together for a reason. And it's when you realize that and when you embody that, not only your life will change, other people will change. That's the transformation when it really become who you are and you take power back to you. And one of the things, again, I guess as a science in a background, I have a doctor degree in pharmacy, some of the things that I see challenging, right? As far as in the Western world, is it just give me a quick pill, right? Whatever it is, just lap it on, give it to me.

I don't want to hear about it. And literally, oh, no, my pain's not real well. Give me something higher. It's the expectation of a fast, microwavable instant world, right? I want quick result. I want quick success. I want whatever you have. But a lot of things, so it become, and then become the eagle,

that we talk about the money power and people wanting so really i mean it's when i dive into and i say you know people are wearing masks when they literally saying they're here to help people right profession no matter what industry but if you have really a purpose and saying okay you are a doctor you are pharmacist you or so-and-so but if you're not really taking care of your patients or your community And patients, like your art is your patience, right? If you're talking about joy with the kids, the app, the customer is whatever it is in your industry. But at the end of the day, how are you serving? How are you aligning?

And most of them, if they really, if you see them, they're not really aligned. It's all about money, quota, status, all this and that. So with the health care, when I was like unraveled, when I said, you know, when we really look at it, all the plants that we can be treated with, that medication-wise, when you talk about, we can definitely treat people with. But some people believe it or not, that's a different story, acupuncture.

I mean, you talk about a lot of modalities that doesn't need just a quick pill, even though I'm a pharmacist, but everything is unless I'm dying. To that point, I'm not going to resort to taking a medication that's going to cause you a side effect, because then you become addicted.

and people when they talk about why you're addicted. So the education piece is a lot, but then also the cultures that we have to break this for our next generation. That's why I always said that we have to not be in silo and seeing the things that are not doing right, we cannot be involved in saying that I'm going to just survive so I can make a career and feed my family when you know that it's not right.

We have to be, because I've been in the pharmacist, you know, in the retail world, in the CVS when we're like 14 hours a day. I can remember drive through customers and checking out and all that. But just imagine the patients care. Do you think that that's quality? And the patients and the pharmacists don't want that. But the corporate, you know, when they make decision,

it's all about what money at the end of the day. But if you really look at you serving a purpose and you're helping, you cannot allow those. And if you see it, I have to step out, right? you have to have a power to say no, that is not right. Speak up because then you're feeding the karma, the negative contribution that is much higher than you than when you're saying, why does this and that? So when you really take it ownership, then you say you can't not say that why it happened

to you because you own up, right? Because let's say if the doctor tell you have to lose weight, you have to do so-and-so, you have to, I mean, now I'm going to be offensive to some people who's most. right here. But if let's say if they said you have to quit so your health, your lungs, you can breathe better, right? Let's say. But some might not make that decision. It's up to them. I understand, right? But some people is like, well, I'm going to live one life and I'm just going to live whatever I want. So that's their choice. But then it also affects other people. There's secondhand smoker, right? That affect by the breathing of that. So I think it's if you really own up to and how we collectively can help

as a community, as our oneness, right? Because then when we are self-centered, just thinking about what's in it for us, then that's where the eagle and a lot of things that are not aligned and it won't solve the problem. But when you see a thing that is all for us, we're going to collaborate, we're going to work together, let's fix a problem, look at all the problems that we have. Let's go through one by one. We can't solve it all.

We can't do about self, but we can amplify our voice. we can do things together to help others to speak up because there's other modalities that doesn't need like even meditation you're talking about healing from blood pressures you're talking about heart rate when people taking like a beta blocker to help reduce their heart rate i mean there's lots of things that i mean it's because if you are just giving the power to the pharmaceutical or whatever, that just saying this, I mean, I really wish that every patient have a patient advocacy to really look after. I'm not saying that, you know, it's their fault. It's, it's really about the system. We have to break away from the system and educate our populations. So that way,

they know their option, and then they can go from there. I know I'm going on a rat hole. No, it's relevant, all of it. I think these are all symptoms of a sickness that plague us as a human body, all of us. You know, there's a, it's amazing to me when we, there's this, can I share a quick story with you? This is a really cool story that I heard. And I think it explains a lot of what we've all been talking about. And it's this idea that, so the body, the human body, like one day, the, the, the body quits work and the hands, the hands say like, let me pull this back over here. There we go. So one day, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, The body starts talking and the hands say to the body, look, I do all the picking and the feet say I do all the walking.

The mouth says I do all the chewing and this lazy stomach gets all the food. So they decided to go on strike and the hands go, well, I'm not going to pick any more food. And the feet say, I'm not going to walk anymore. And the mouth says, I'm not going to chew any more food. And they just quit. And a few days go by and they realize they can't even move anymore. Like they're so tired. Like they couldn't walk or they couldn't pick or they couldn't talk if they wanted to.

And at that point in time, they realize it's not the lazy. stomach. The stomach is providing nutrients to all in their one body. You know, and Dr. New you said something like in the first part of the story that was like, I want what you have. Like, I cannot tell you how many times when I was younger. And still sometimes like I think like, I want what they have. No, you don't. You think you want what they have because you don't thoroughly understand what they have. And if you knew what they had, you probably wouldn't want it because you don't know what they went through to get it or what they sacrificed to have it. But when we start seeing ourselves in this individual world, like it's fractured.

You know, when you think of something that gets broken, it's fractured. And so too is our relationships fractured. And you spoke about change and lasting change. And I think that's a great question for Crystal is like, how do you sustain change? Like when you create a change in your life and you find yourself moving through life, what do you grip onto to make sure that you keep that positive change in your life, Crystal? Wow. Honestly, what keeps me moving is the fact that I want to make the world a better place for my kids, for Kim's daughter, for chances, nieces and nephews, you know, for Dr. News kids.

That's what keeps me going. I want to be a better world for the future generations. I don't want the victim to be the one that's blamed anymore. I want to give the silenced a voice. And that's what keeps me going and keeps me motivated. Today, my mom, like, for one of the first times in my life, I actually felt validated by my mother. I called to give her the news that we reached number one bestseller internationally.

she actually told me that she was proud of me, but the only thing was, was that she wanted more of my story. She wanted me to actually write my book and to get my story out there to help others. She felt like what I had done needed to be continued. And that validation from my mom, who is of the generation, your children are seen and not heard you, do not. your dirty laundry to the world. What happens at home stays at home. You do not talk about anything outside of the home. So for my mom to tell me she was proud of me and that she loved my story, but she wanted more.

She wanted me to reach more people and to encourage me to do my book, which I've said all along that my chapter was a preview, like reading the back of a book, you know, that that was what my chapter was going to be, was like that back of the book for my full on healing story that I'm in the process of writing. So just knowing that I reached my mom and she said, what you're doing is important, keep going. That probably gave me that boost of confidence. took grip for probably quite a few years. Because my mom, I love her dearly, but she's not the touchy-feely kind of mom.

I had the longest conversation with her today than I have in probably about four years. And it was because she was proud of me and she believed in what I was doing. Well, okay, longest conversation without her yelling at me. Let's put it that way. You know, so just like knowing that I'm reaching people, that I'm helping people, that I'm shining that light, that is what motivates me and keeps me being positive and not, you know, sinking into the depression of, you know, being a failure

at my relationship. Now, granted, I have a wonderful relationship now with a wonderful man who supports me and, yeah, we have ups and downs like any couple. Don't get me wrong. Every couple fights. Okay, that's normal. What I went through before, not normal. But he's so supportive of me. And I'm so grateful that I have a positive relationship now, and I'm able to open myself up to love again, because so many people who come out of domestic violence don't even want to try. They feel like, you know, they can't trust themselves. They can't, they can't trust anybody else. And I got lucky and was able to open my heart up again and found who I feel is my soul being. he'll jokingly say that he let me move in and you just couldn't get rid of me.

You know, he tells me that all the time joking around. But he also says, well, I don't want to get rid of you because why am I going to have to train a whole other crazy and get you still a whole other crazy? But that's how we tease and we play. And, you know, to me, that's a healthy relationship. You know, you banter, you play. But when it comes down to the hard stuff, we talk and we work through it together. And he's a shoulder for me to cry on or, you know, bounce ideas off of.

Or if my tech is failing me, honey, you know, because he's a programmer. You know, he's the yin to my yang. I'm arts and crafts and he is tech. So it works. And I'm so lucky to have found that. So I want to help other people realize, hey, there is a light at the tunnel. You can thrive. You can trust again.

And you can learn to love again. You can put yourself out there. You just have to be brave enough to leave first. But there are people who understand and want to help. So that's kind of my motivation. I just want the world to be kind and let the love shine through instead of being. angry and vengeful and, well, money grubbing, you know. Yeah, money's great.

It lets you have all the toys and all the fun stuff. But what is having all the fun stuff without having somebody to truly enjoy it with? Yeah. Yeah. You know, there's, I once heard someone say that, uh, that there's two kinds of people that come out of tragic events. And one of them is because this happened, I can never love it. again. And the other one says, because this happened, I'm going to love more than I've ever

loved before. And it sounds to me like you're the latter. And I just want to cry. It's so beautiful. I love it. I love that you have a beautiful relationship and that you love yourself enough to be loved by someone that you deserve to be loved by. It's beautiful. Thank you for having the courage to do it. I'll give you a big hug if I could. I'm so stoked for that. You know, Michelle, what do you think? Like, we've been covering a lot of deep stuff on meaning and suffering and loving in relationships. What is something that you are thinking about after writing in this book? And what's something you're holding on to to create positive change in your life?

Oh. Michelle, I'm you, finally. Oh, there you go. There you go. Now I can hear you. I actually wanted to just share with you guys sorry about pain and shock and all that kind of a thing. Because obviously when you find out you adopted, it is a bit of a shock.

Right. My world stopped literally, even though I was loved. And I did pause. Kim, very important to pause. And I think everybody needs to pause when they're in shock because they will do things that they shouldn't. out of the way that they feel. They need to process things. By processing things in life and shock,

you can actually start dealing with it in the right way. And you ask yourself all the questions that you need to. Do you want to actually follow your heart? And now are you going to stop and say, no, I'm not going to go and meet these people. I was one of those. I'm not going to not continue. I actually wanted to share the message with them, to meet them, to say, oh my word, you must have been thinking about me all these years.

I want to come here to say thank you for what you did for me. And that was my approach. And my approach being that way, I have a big heart. and if something good comes of it, so be it. And I will tell you for the last 20-something years, I've integrated everybody and my six brothers and sisters into my life. And who gets a second chance in life with two more parents? I did go through my biological mom's passing.

And she died two years before my mom at 81 died of Alzheimer's. and I was there personally in her passing as well. And I prayed and it's by keeping faith and your belief in things in life that if you follow your heart, you will be heard. And God did something for me that day because I said to him, I was driving out and my last day to say goodbye to her. and I had to because I had to fly out to see her. And I said, Lord, she saw me in this world. I want to be there to see her out. My sister from my father's side of the family, she's driving me.

And we arrived at the hospital. And she met some people that she knew because we were in a different province. And I said, well, I've got to go up a field. urgency and we all know that calling when you get that gut feeling so I go up and the doctor says to me in the ICU are you the oldest because she's busy passing right now you need to call the family I had my 10 minutes with her and I thanked her from the bottom of my heart for what she did for it must have been the hardest thing she could have ever done in her entire life she told me because I've spent many years getting to know her.

She said to me, Michelle, I held you so tight in my arms, I did not want to give you up for adoption. For 10 months, she held me in an adoption agency. She did not want to give me up, but it was the 60s. It was a no-no in those days. And how she must have felt carrying that. with her all those years. And I just feel so blessed to be able to have gone through what I've needed to go through in life

in order to share that with others. That there is love out there. And I want to help those to say, you know what, face your fears, get over it. The sooner you get over it, the better, because then you know which direction you're going. Don't sit on the fence and have all that because that's where illness comes.

if you hold all those burdens on yourself and all that fear of not facing it, just deal with it. It's either going to be yes or it's going to be no or it's going to be a mess. What do you want in life? And do you know, my biological mom, she too was given up for adoption. And she asked me to look for her mom. And three days before I went up, I found her mom. That's my grandmother. It took many years, but I did.

And the saddest was, she was two hours drive away, and I was doing it through a third party. And she said to me, well, she actually didn't reply, but I wrote to her the whole time to say, you know, do you want to see your daughter out? And she never wrote back. And then my brother did. she come on past and two weeks later she phoned me and she said i didn't have the heart i've never told my

family i have three three other children they do not know and she said and i can't know you either so i had to pause again and i had to respect that sometimes in life you've got to make choices and move on. I will tell you one year later on the passing of my biological mom, I did phone her just to see how she felt. And she still felt the same way. But I never contacted her again and I wish her all the best. But at the end of the day, I am not going to have regrets.

I did what I needed to do in life. And I'll keep doing that and keep facing it because I do believe I'm here for a reason and that is to pass on unconditional love for the love my parents gave to me and the love I can give to others through the journey that I have really, really gone through. And being in the presence of two parents passing, my biological mom waited half an hour after spending a whole day together. And she didn't obviously want us to be there with her when she passed. And that I respect too.

and now I have a biological father left and yes I have six brothers and sisters and so many nieces and nephews I cannot keep up with birthdays it's like crazy and my family as I said my father was the eldest of seven brothers and sisters and now my biological father is the eldest of six brothers and sisters

so I know all of them I know all their children and it's like family gatherings are big, but COVID obviously and time has all changed. And in my father in upbringing, that whole generation, they're busy dying. They're all in the 70s, 80s now. My father was the eldest of all of them. And this is the urgency as well for me. I need to share the legacies of those that I love. And now it's the coming together of families. Now it's three families because my biological parents, after me, I was a love child. She was in college, she was in school.

So it was a big no-no as well. And that's why she got sent down to Cape Town to have me. And I just look at all of this and I realized now when I wrote out my quote for people that every single time in a book I would love to put three surnames. And that is bringing together of those who have been a very big part of my life. And that is just for me carrying legacies and memories of those who are so dear to me. And I love them all very, very much. And I am so rich in love and being given all that as a gift to give to others.

and I've been seeking a way to share this that people will hear me because I know, and it's weird, you know, when you're looking for that car, then all of a sudden you see that car everywhere. And if you're looking for something, you find it. But when you're not looking for it, you never see it. And this is the thing in life.

if you don't focus on something that's not going to happen. And yeah, so I did that and I put myself out there. And I was always talking from my heart. But then somebody very special started listening. And quite a few people from that started listening. And it's something so special that I really, really need to share. that to carry on legacies is being forgotten. Everybody's been sucked into all this noise.

And in the old days, there weren't anxiety and all this bloody blah, and all the medication and road rage. And I'm getting into this world of, oh, my word, I went grey when I turned 30, I'll tell you now. Because everything just changed so fast. I mean, geez, you come from nothing into everything. And I see how fast everything's going. And I see how our children have we brought up.

We're not climbing trees anymore and playing outside. And we're losing the value of the most important things. I am still a big kid, too. We've got a tree house in my 50s and I dig this treehouse. You know what I'm saying? I love dancing, love music. And it's about bringing the social things back into life that are so valuable. And yes, the pausing is so valuable because there's just too much of a chase and a rush.

And it's too much for our brains and it's too much for our heart. We're not being able to actually deal with stuff properly. That's why people are getting married and divorced within five seconds flat. And nothing's valued. And all those children are suffering through all of it. I never grew up with a stigma. That's for sure. So I thank my parents for that.

Because if I had known, I would have been that child like a divorced scenario. Oh, I'm going to run to my biological appearance. I want to do something better. You know, so yes, I was protected. And I value that and their decision. Each person will be different, obviously. But I'm sharing my story and I'm saying, you know what, it is doable. And there's a hell of a lot of love around.

And you've just got to actually focus on it. And, yeah, value it. Value it very, very much. So, yeah. So I had to, sorry, I had to share that. I just, yeah. Michelle. Yeah, what you, when you say, I was thinking, yeah, I'm sure George also thinks that.

But I'm just here, like, you know, when we're looking at being the present moment, when people talk about mindfulness and meditation, really is not the woo-woo. How are you showing up right now? Are you really in sync and being present right here versus, okay, what am I doing tomorrow? What I'm doing this and that, right? our mind just keep going. But when we're mindful of all of our surroundings and being present, we're not judged because then you're at the moment.

You're living in the moment, not the past, not the future, but the present. And being paused on having that is a tool when people are not grounded. Because when you're grounded anywhere, you can be mindful, mindful of the moment. Walking, you can be mindful. It's not just sitting like a monk or a nun or in a secret place. It's being in the moment at any time, right, where it can be mindful of eating, mindful of talking, mindful of things that will have an effect on others. Maybe our words we don't see that it's being hurtful for somebody else,

but that could be a trigger for somebody else. It could be a poison or a medicines, right? So it depends on how you want to use it. It's a double-sided sword. So it's how we use it. It becomes. And when our brain, whatever we practice is what we grow. So our intentions and being present and being mindful, it's very simple.

But people, it's hard because they're so immersed in something that's artificial. Being, I guess, being trapped into the social media, right? The expectations and things that are on. I guess the materialistic, the possession. Oh, you're mine, you know, you're my spouse, you're my husband, you can't be complimenting another lady or another husband, you know. That becomes that ego of that possession. So the violence and things that it all starts,

if we're in tune to ourselves, then we won't judge others. Then that start with us. We got to, we want to change. It got to change from us. I love all the, amazing soul here that when we see commonality, we see a lot of alignment. But when you see separation, then you can nickpick everything, right, of whatever you want. So that's where we challenge people to look at the common.

Well, how are we alike? How are we more aligned? We have a lot in common than we all think. We're not different. Yeah. It's well said. I always say, be careful for what you wish for. You know, when I was younger, I was like, Mom, Mom, Dad, I want more brothers and sisters.

And I'm like, oh, crap. And then my sister, one sister was picking me up at the airport when I went to go visit, and her daughter was with us. And she was sitting in the back of the car saying, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, or what more brothers and sisters? So I turned around and I laughed at her and I said to her, well, careful. look for what you wish for, because that's what I did. And now I've got six more. And then the best was she's got two more brothers and sisters since then,

that is now four. So it looked big gaps. So, yeah, careful what you wish for too sometimes. Yeah, it's both. Lonnie, as we're getting ready to land the plane here, I thought I would kick it back to you for a summary of, of how you're feeling. Maybe you can tell people a little bit about the Rattle of the Wake series

and this volume in particular. Or is there any of the thoughts that you have? Or maybe you could summarize some of the ways you're feeling right now. How much time we got? We are different. There's skunks and there's roses. And even if you're a rose, if you get in a room with the skunk,

you're going to come out stinking because skunk spray. So the best thing you can do is recognize that there are telltale signs. We are different. And there is a reason for that. And I'm okay with that, you know, because God makes skunks the way they are and they're perfect and roses too. But you better know that if you get into it with a skunk, you're going to come out and stinking. I'm just saying we are different.

And we have to be able to recognize that. I'm dismayed at the mesh and blending of saying, well, you can't use judgment. You need to have good judgment. You absolutely have to have good judgment skills. that is not being judgmental. Being judgmental is putting a person down and yourself up. We need to have good judgment skills now more than ever. We need to trust our big yes. We need to trust our divine guidance. I genuinely believe that there are certain things that ourselves, literally ourselves have carried in this lifetime to remedy, balance, fix, whatever it is. And sometimes

they manifest as physical maladies, situational experiences. But I think that we can put an end to that just say, screw it, I'm out, exit the matrix this time. We don't have to keep doing what I call reincarceration as opposed to reincarnation. I genuinely believe that we are part of a bigger picture that maybe we're just now starting to understand. And it's a rather cosmic conversation that we don't have time for a landing on a wrap-up on. But there is a lot more to it than what we've been shown. And as far as, yeah, the destiny that we have, my experience with a natal chart reading that showed me that they were able to tell that I was three when my parents got divorced. And I said, how do you know that? And they said, it's right here on your chart. And I said,

I'm 30 and you're telling me what happened when I was three is on a natal chart. Is it all already done? So, you know, I've never forgotten that question. And I, you know, sometimes we think we're in the driver's seat. I think we're in the passenger seat. And that the best thing we can do is put our feet out the window, let the breezeblower skirt up and just say, how can I have more fun today than I ever thought possible? Because the rest of it is Ksara, sarah, baby. And all we're here to do is just beam as much light as we possibly can to those who want to receive it and those who want to stay in the dark, go ahead. Bye. You do you. Go ahead. And that's okay. Rattled awake is a place for people to express their voices, their experiences, their perspective shift. If you add an F

to shit, you get shift. So effort. Let's move on. And that's really what it's about. Look, it's in the book. It's in the freaking book. Let me see if I can do this, my one good hand. But I want to show you an illustration that was in the book, in my chapter. And I said, just put an F in that word and you can shift. And that's really what it's about is these wonderful people and all their diverse upbringings and philosophies. The bottom line is we're just trying to figure this shit out and we're trying to shift into high gear and make the best of whatever the heck is going on. And hopefully we can all die laughing. That's phenomenal. That's phenomenal. Rattle to Wake, volume three, ladies and gentlemen.

If you are watching this, if you're listening to this, the link will be into the show notes. It's an incredible collaboration of co-authors, telling stories of healing that I think are contagious. And I hope if you're listening to this, that you will one day share your story with us. Reach out to all of us. I'll put all the links down in the show notes to reach out if you're curious.

And that's all we got for a day. Hang on, ladies. I'll speak to you briefly afterwards, but to all the listening and watching audience. Thank you so much for hanging out with us today. That's all we got. Aloha.