TrueLife - Rev. Dr. Jessica Rochester - Self-Responsibility; Simple but not Easy

Episode Date: September 5, 2023

One on One Video Call W/George https://tidycal.com/georgepmonty/60-minute-meetingSupport the show:https://www.paypal.me/Truelifepodcast?locale.x=en_US🚨🚨Curious about the future of psychedelics? Imagine if Alan Watts started a secret society with Ram Dass and Hunter S. Thompson… now open the door. Use Promocode TRUELIFE for Get 25% off monthly or 30% off the annual plan For the first yearhttps://www.district216.com/https://www.revdrjessicarochester.com/Rev. Dr. Jessica Rochester is the Madrinha and President of Céu do Montréal, a Santo Daime (Ayahuasca) Church she founded in 1997 in Montréal, Canada.She is a transpersonal counselor, she trained in the work of Dr. Roberto Assagioli and trained with Dr. Stanislav Grof.She worked with Health Canada from 2000 until 2017 to achieve an Section 56 Exemption to import and serve the Santo DaimeSacrament (Ayahuasca).She is an ordained Interfaith Minister with a Doctorate in Divinity.From 1986 to 2018 she has been a workshop leader, teacher, and in private practice.She is the author of Ayahuasca Awakening A Guide to Self-Discovery, Self-Mastery and Self-Care, Volume One and Two.She continues to lecture on consciousness, non-ordinary states of consciousness, self-discovery, spiritual development, health and well-being and personal transformation One on One Video call W/George https://tidycal.com/georgepmonty/60-minute-meetingSupport the show:https://www.paypal.me/Truelifepodcast?locale.x=en_USCheck out our YouTube:https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPzfOaFtA1hF8UhnuvOQnTgKcIYPI9Ni9&si=Jgg9ATGwzhzdmjkg

Darkness struck, a gut-punched theft, Sun ripped away, her health bereft. I roar at the void. This ain't just fate, a cosmic scam I spit my hate. The games rigged tight, shadows deal, blood on their hands, I'll never kneel. Yet in the rage, a crack ignites, occulted sparks cut through the nights. The scars my key, hermetic and stark. To see, to rise, I hunt in the dark, fumbling, fear. Fearist through ruins maze, lights my war cry, born from the blaze.

The poem is Angels with Rifles. The track, I Am Sorrow, I Am Lust by Codex Serafini. Check out the entire song at the end of the cast. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the True Life podcast. I hope that everybody's having a beautiful day. I hope the sun is shining and the wind is at your back. I have an incredible guest for you today. incredible show on a series about the self, the one and only Reverend Dr. Jessica Rochester.

She is an ordained in a faith minister with a doctorate in divinity, a transpersonal counselor. She trained in the work of Dr. Roberto Asagioli and trained with Dr. Stanislav Graf. From 1986 to 2018, she has been a workshop leader, teacher, and in private practice. She continues to lecture on consciousness, non-ordinary states of consciousness, self-discovery, spiritual development, and personal transformation. She has recently written a two-volume set that's a guidebook that is one of the most enlightening, fun, and discovering, self-discovering sets of books I've ever read. And we've been diving into parts of it.

Dr. Reverend Jessica, how are you today? Well, I'm really well. Thank you. And it's always a joy to be on your show. And I just wanted to add because you kind of left it out. And it's one of the things that possibly people find most interesting about the diverse area that I cover is that I founded a Santo Dimey Church in Montreal. I brought the tradition from Brazil in 1996, so it's 27 years later and worked with the Canadian

government for 17 years to receive the recognition as a legitimate spiritual practice and the ability to import and distribute our sacrament in our rituals only. And this was, you know, a big, this was a first for Canada. This was opening a big door. This was, you know, and as the expression goes, and that changed everything. You know, everything with that little tiny door that we worked at to get open meant a lot of education in our government about what this is, and non-ordinary states of consciousness and sacred plants being used throughout millennia to help to, you know, open people. and expand people's consciousness now.

And you know, and thank you for your always, your wonderful introduction. And it is the true, the transpersonal work that is, for me, so fascinating and so important. And I remember Stan Groff talking to us back in the early 90s saying that, you know, the transpersonal studies would be the bridge between east and west and north and south, and the technologies, what he called the technology, what he called the technology, technologies of the sacred. And so all the meditation practices on the larger maps of divinity that came from the East. And then, you know, the whole spiritual traditions and sacred plants that came from South

America. And so we live in exciting times as far as non-ordinary states of consciousness go. And I was, you know, I was really shown I had to put together what I'd been working in for myself for 50 years. in my own spiritual journey and also what I learned from nearly 40 years of working with people in counseling, private practice and teaching and et cetera, in workshops and whatever. So that's what these books are about. And it's about who am I? Why am I here?

What's it all about? What are the maps for the journey? And you and I've been working this last three times in the four main principles. And so we started with self-care and what self-care really is. And for those people who are on their journey of self-discovery, I believe we all need some guidebooks. We need some maps. We need to know what do people who've gone before us learned?

What have they learned about this? And how can what they've learned contribute to my journey and what I'm learning about myself? And so, yes, each of us has. our own unique life and our unique special way of being in the world and finding our way forward and our experiences are all just that little bit different. And at the same time, I believe that the maps and the guidelines are essential. And so we've talked about self-awareness and self-love. And last go around, we talked about self-respect. And out of those three things, now we come to

the fourth, which is self-responsibility. And so, as always, I'm going to put you on the spot. And when I say responsibility, what comes up for you? Well, I wrote down, I thought this question may be asked to me. So I wrote down a little, some notes right here. Oh, excellent. And so for me, responsibility is the unwavering mirror within, reflecting one's worth with a brilliant, unclouded truth,

a steadfast love for oneself that stands as a guardian of dignity, honoring the essence of one soul in all its majesty. I know it's kind of far out there. If I were to condense it down a little bit more, I would say that the self-responsibility is the soul's mark on the world. Like we are responsible for creating our own vision and helping see the best in other people. that's really great i just love what you wrote and what you've said and that's a perfect kind of springing off

to add just a few more thoughts on that but i want to make it even more simple please so that anybody listening can you know put this in their basket and take it away and work with it so being responsible means being accountable for what is within our power or one's control, my control, your control, or management. It's as simple as that. What's out of, you know, that's not my responsibility. And at the same time, it's the ability to make decisions, the willingness to live with the consequences of our choices and decisions made based on our sense of responsibility. Does that make sense? Yeah, it makes perfect sense. It's a nice ratio. Yeah. So when we get, oh, okay, so I'm kind of responsible for my decisions and my choices and my,

oh, hang on a minute, I'm just, I'm responsible for my words, my thoughts, my actions. Mm-hmm. Wow. Okay. That gets serious, right? When we really look at that, you know, is it to recycle or not recycle, to compost or not to compose, to reuse as simple as that? How do we live our everyday life? What degree of responsibility do we take for our words? Are we a mean-spirited gossip? Anybody know, do you know a mean-spirited gossip?

I've met a few in my life. unfortunately women tend to have more of a reputation for that than men do but i've met some men who could you know bat some really fierce conversations so our words you know are so it's so deep when we really look at what am i responsible for you know now how does responsibility fit into karma? Can we talk about that for a moment? Yeah, please. Okay.

So I'm going to read from Silvio Rimpashe in his book, a Tibetan book of Living and Dying. And he describes karma as being international, national, can be the karma of a city, an individual, and ancestral mind, and that somehow they're all interconnected. In simple terms, what does karma mean? it means that whatever we do with our body, speech, or mind will have a corresponding result. It's like you throw the pebble in the pond and there's ripples. And so when we understand that our words, even our thoughts, our actions, our decisions, our choices, all may have some effect. Then it takes us to a deeper place of understanding responsibility. Do we become more mindful of our thoughts, our words, and our actions?

Do we pay more attention to this back to self-awareness down? Do we pay more attention to our decisions? What, if I make this decision, what effect will it have on, potentially on other people? So if I just toss my still burning cigarette out my car window, okay? Well, we know those who caused fires. I'm not suggesting that all the current fires are caused by people tossing cigarettes out the window, but we know, okay, because there's videos and there's evidence of we don't bother putting our campfire out.

Somebody else will do it. Somebody else will clean up after me. Somebody else will fix it. Somebody else will do it. And so he quotes on back to Stoke-L-Rimposhay says, the Buddha said, do not over overlook negative actions merely because they are small. However small the spark may be, it can burn down a haystack as big as a mountain. So we may think, oh, well, it's only a small thing.

No, but where's that balance? Where's that balance of, okay, I've done my part. I've taken my whatever it is to the recycling depot. I have taken care of whatever it is I'm responsible for. I've swept the street in front of my house. Okay? I'm just doing my part. You know, I keep my garden tidy and I make sure my dog is scooped up after.

I love those dog owners who thinks that somebody once had the nerve to say to me, well, my dog is so special that if it poops on somebody's lawn, it's a blessing. That's how crazy. New definition of entitled, okay, for all of you out there listening, You could just take that right away and use that as a new definition of entitled. Okay. My dog's boop is your blessing. So now, what happens if we have a compromised sense of responsibility?

I mean, we can talk deeper about that if you want to, in which we either go into hypo responsibility, not enough, sense of taking responsibility, or hyper responsibility where we feel the need to take too much responsibility, like everything that's going on around us is somehow I got to fix it and save it and rescue it and party up after it. And so how does that happen to us that our sense of responsibility instead of having a good balance within us, instead of having the teachings that help us learn to be responsible in a healthy way as to what's mine and what's not mine, and then what can collectively we

as a community do together, okay? What can we do as neighbors to help our community? What can we do as friends to help our friend? And so there's that balance of the self and then the family and then, you know, the tribe or the community and then the nation. And if we have a healthy sense of responsibility, then we can take that into those other venues. So did you want to ask something or say something or do I just go click along with? It's good. I'm just following along in depth. I think a lot of people find it very difficult to find that balance because how do we make sense of the world if we don't take responsibility? But are we taking, do we have unreal estate expectations if we take too much? You know, I find myself there all the time. Yeah. And

And that's that, you know, to loose too tight thing that we're back to the Buddha and the middle way, that just retuning things, constantly quietly checking in with ourselves to retune. So I believe that our sense of responsibility lives with our willpower and I believe that it lives in third chakra, our power centered right in the middle of our body. Because if we think about it, that's where we sense our personal power. and if we're grounded and balanced, then we're going to feel it there, and it's going to feel balanced and good. And that's where our sense of responsibility, you know, is, I believe, is worked with our willpower.

And so if our will has been compromised through events in our family environment, when we're a child, at school, in our culture, in our society, if there's been either too much permission, so we don't take responsibility because we have people around us who pick up after us and who do everything for us. And some parents do do that for children instead of learning teaching them, okay, now this is your, you're going to learn to brush your teeth and tie your shoes. Okay, you're going to learn to keep your room tidy. And okay, now you're going to learn to set the table and help clean up.

And now you're going to learn how to cook. I mean, I remember teaching my kids at the right age. My son, okay, you're going to wear shirts. You have to learn to iron it. Don't just keep looking around thinking someone else can iron your shirt, you know. You have to learn to do a load of laundry and cook a meal. And, you know, because you're responsible for your life. And the duty, I believe the duty of parents is to teach their children how to survive in the world.

That's, you know, if we look into nature, we see that every other creature on the planet, you know, daddy robin, as soon as the birds fledged. I mean, it's worms to the nest and worms to the nest for months until the baby robins are ready to fledge, right? The first night or two nights is usually the father Robin, he's faced here and a bit bigger, who's in the hedge and down on the ground with the baby robins because he's teaching them how to get into the hedge at night

so that they're safe and somewhat protected. And instead of worms to the nest, it's like, now you guys have to find it for yourself in the grass and on the ground. And so I'm going to show you how to do this for the end. Now you got it. Okay, I'm out of here. Thanks. So, you know, that's the duty of, you know, and maybe baby whales stay, what, three years. And then they may stay in a whale pod for most of their lives. So we can learn so much from nature because what Mother Nature's creatures are doing is they're teaching their young. This is how you do it. Okay. Mother orcas are teaching their baby orcas. Okay,

this is how you catch seals. This is how you round them up. Okay. This is how you wait in the shallows for them. And so we need to be learning to do that to get to teach our children a healthy sense of responsibility. Now, what happens in families where parents take too little responsibility, is children can grow up feeling a little burdened like somehow I'm responsible because, you know, whatever is going on in the household, the mom and dad aren't or whoever the parental situation is. They aren't taking responsibility for things that traditionally one would assume would be the parental responsibilities. is. And so a child growing up can have this burden of feeling it's mine, you know, it's mine when it isn't, you know. And so we can become hyper responsible, feeling too responsible for things outside of us. Like something's going wrong, I need to fix it. And so there's a term for that called codependency.

a term that was first coined in, I think, the 50s, when the 12-step program was becoming very popular and when, you know, physicians and researchers in the field were noticing that the family members of people who had dependency issues had certain behaviors of accommodating and picking up after. In other words, where the person with dependency issues lacked responsibility. for their behaviors and their decisions, the people around them picked up the energetic. So responsibility is first and foremost an energetic experience. We feel it in our body.

Do you know what makes sense what I'm saying, George? Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. We feel it in our body. We feel that sense of responsibility right in the core of our body. And if we're burdened by too much responsibility, we just need to. stop and so okay what's mine and what's not mine what really doesn't belong to me and codependency is an issue because you will have people in in the workplace who feel like

uber responsible to pick up everybody else's work that they're not doing and um in the family home you can have people who feel like they're kind of responsible to make other people whether it's picking up the tasks of other people or whether it is picking up the kind of emotional responsibility, I'm responsible for your happiness and your moods. You're in a bad mood. I'm somehow responsible to make you happier. I'm supposed to be the peacemaker or the happy maker or the make it better or the fix it person. And this is all a distortion, a compromised sense of responsibility. Did you want to ask a question here or say something? Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes I think the lines can get blurred, at least for me, in that what's the difference between, you know,

enabling someone with a codependent behavior versus teamwork? Because on some level, it seems like you want to help out that other person and you do feel that energy. And you're like, okay, if I pick it up here, then they pick it up there. And it, you know, it's almost like the yin and the yang like where's the difference at well the second one is very healthy teamwork is really helpful yes and you know whether it's in the workplace where people work together as a team or whether it's in a family environment where a committed couple for example work together and yes picking up but over time it should be even it should even out pretty much okay in other words okay i got a crazy week at work, honey, do your mind? Can you, can you take over for this?

Right. If that's the constant ongoing pattern where one person has to kind of self-sacrifice to accommodate the wants, needs of another person, that's not healthy. That's not healthy. So there is, of course, that, you know, teamwork is what we would hope for. But with teamwork, there's clear boundaries. there's clear communication and there's clear boundaries. You know, at work it would look like, like, you know, Mr. Jones,

would you mind helping me on the ABC file because I'm a little overwhelmed and, you know, next month I can help you out on the XYZ file, you know what I say? So there's this exchange of, you know, can you help me out on this clear boundary sense of time, or investment in it rather than just dropping stuff. And so the hyper responsible people will often find themselves picking up after the hypo responsible people now hypo behavior, hypo responsibility, not enough sense of responsibility. These are people who will go, yeah, yeah, sure, of course, and never do it. they'll make promises or commitments to whatever it is and to do their share of the housework.

You know, in reality is there's housework. We have to show up and cook and clean and eat and do laundry and change the sheets on the bed and all that jazz, you know. And it should be divided up fairly and cleanly and clearly and discussed respectfully and should be valued. we should be valuing our partner's contribution and respecting it and appreciating it. And it should work out more or less even, you know. If it isn't, if somebody is always having a, oh, well, I can't because, so there's always an excuse to not do it or a reason to not do it or a, I forgot or I can't, then I'm not in the mood, then I have a thing that I have to or whatever it is.

okay, but there's always excuses to why their part isn't being done or they just kind of disappeared. They're just kind of invisible. Okay, they're just not around. It's not done. But, you know, the dishwasher isn't empty. The laundry is not done. The groceries didn't get happened.

You know, whatever it is, the counts didn't get balanced. But the person is not taking responsibility. It's not sitting down and saying, hey, listen, you know what this week? I'm really under the gun and I'm not going to be able to do. this that I said I would be able to do. And so that becomes a real problem for everybody around the person who's just dropping

stuff all the time. And it can create a tremendous amount of problems and personal relationships. Because the person who has all these reasons and excuses as to why they can't or don't do it, is always expecting other people

to pick it up with no complaint. Have you noticed that? Yeah. That if you started saying, hey look, I end up doing 80% of the housework and still, you know, picking the kids up at school and putting dinner on the table and you're watching fill in the blank on television every night, the sports or whatever it is.

Hey, we've got to talk about this. And then there could be stone rolling or there could be tantrums or could there be something. The kind of behavior that the person uses to press the other person back and just making responsibility. Did you want to say something about that? I can see your eyes dazzling. No, it just, it makes perfect sense. It's a good recipe for people to take a look at their life. And as you're talking, I'm just thinking in my mind, okay, what can I do better here?

You know, where are my boundaries? Where is my communication at? So what you see is my mind just racing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Smoke burning. Yeah. Yeah, of course. And this is the thing is if we, if we step back into okay what am i responsible for my words my actions my decisions my choices let's just start with that okay the basics things if we just take a little time to think about that write them up what are my responsibilities what is my job here and oh wait a minute i see i'm not doing my part then i need to pull up my you know pull myself up and and and take my part or wait a minute i'm doing like 85% of that. You know, I need to sit down and say, okay, this is my part, and I'm just not doing the other part, which is not mine anymore.

And then you get to see what happens, you know. And if we do it with respect and with clarity, then we're giving it the best opportunity to transform into something that would be healthier for everyone. because these distortions and compromises in sense of responsibility lead to a lot of problems on the human level. If we look around the world, we can see that a lack of awareness, a lack of love, a lot of lack of respect, and a lack of responsibility is brought us to where we are today. Who's dumping all that plastic in the ocean? Okay. Plus, you know, it's easy to say, well, look, 70% comes from that river over there on the other side of the world. Yeah, what about if our 5%?

Okay, let's clean that up. If that's what we're doing, let's just clean up our part instead of pointing fingers that. And what somebody else is doing, let's just look at ourselves and see what can we do. that is going to improve things for our nation, for our community, for nature, for our country, for the earth. And again, not getting caught up in hyper or hypo because it can be crushing. I've had people who've come to me who, through the years, you know, now I think it's a stronger thing, or they feel responsible for, they feel the whole burden of what's happening to the earth. and now some of us are more sensitive than other people okay it's just how everyone's wired but

how does how does this having a nervous breakdown over that help the earth these are the questions I ask people how do how does you not eating help Mother Earth how does you not taking care of yourself how do you getting depressed or angers? How does that actually help in the earth? You want to do something? Live in a very healthy way. Start there. Start with you. Your life is healthy.

It's respectful. You're taking care of your body. You're taking care of your finances. You're taking care of your career. You can care if you have a family. You can care of that. And then you look and see how else can I contribute to the earth? And so that's such an important piece because too many people are taking too little responsibility.

responsibility. And so remember, it's an energetic, so it's floating around. So the empathic person is going to start picking it up and it's going to feel like a huge and enormous weight. Does this make sense a little bit? Yeah. It's interesting the relationship between contribution and responsibility, whether it's on a self level, on a big level, it seems like it's just a mirror. Yes. Yes. So when we're healthy within ourselves and being responsible in a healthy, balanced way, then that's what we're going to say, okay, you know what, I do have that extra two hours a week. I can donate that to this worthy cause that's going to whatever it is.

It could be a cat shelter. It could be, you know, something that's going to help nature, whatever it is, the person feels called to help, you know. But if we're being responsible with our time and our energy and our finances, Some we're going to be able to see how can we help in a way that's balanced and healthy. Not coming from a burdened place of guilty. Hippo, people don't feel guilty. Hyper people too feel guilty.

Okay. Not my problem. Uh-oh, must be my problem. So finding this, you know, really great sense of balance is a daily practice. It's not like, it's like going in the gym, you know, doing your exercise or your meditation. You actually do have to do it every day, you know, so we need to check in. Is this mine? It's not mine.

What is my responsibility here? And, you know, we have, as we go through life, we have different levels of responsibility now. So here, let's just come to decisions are based on what? Self-discipline. So responsibility, a sense of responsibility and discipline have to work together. If we don't have a healthy sense of personal discipline, which comes from our willpower and our sense of responsibility, then it's all going to fall down. Now, again, discipline can be too tight and it can be too loose. No discipline, too much discipline.

So it's always finding that middle way. And what does discipline look like? What does it look like? When you think of the word self-discipline, what comes up for your turn? What comes up for me when I think of discipline is your word means something. What you say you do and people can count on it. The idea that what you say translates into your actions. this is a planet creates freedom yes good you're getting it especially the freedom part is it's a liberation

people look at it like a burden all being responsible i don't want to be responsible because it's heavy and it's a burden and blah blah blah and i'll try and make it somebody else's fault or you know and and we'll talk a little bit more about that in a moment you know but but what you're saying is absolutely correct is this liberation that comes from knowing what is mind am i conducting it with integrity and so if i make a commitment to my health and well-being am i following good nutrition am i going to do my exercise whatever that is choose something that you like doing and do it or choose from the things that you take the least and do it for people who seem to not like exercising and and and you know, the same with people don't like paperwork, but you know what? We all have to do some.

We have to pay our bills. So, you know, choose one day of the month and that's when you do it and put it in your agenda and you do it that day and it's done and you walk away from it going, well done me. You know, I'm being responsible to the things that I'm responsible for. Now, part of, you know, discipline can go too tight, right? We, there's some household. where discipline is very strict and very tight. And then there needs to be kind of a rebelliousness to put it away and try and find some space to be a self in that. And we can understand that that will have an effect on

if it's in a school that's too tight on the students, if it's at home on their growing children. But people don't quite understand or maybe need to understand more clearly how the opposite also has a deep effect too little discipline. Everybody thinks, oh, I don't want any discipline. I just want to run wild and I want to, you know, do whatever I want. And, you know, no boundaries, no limits, just be me, just be free. Yep, but that doesn't really work, does it?

Because then it means everybody around you is having to pick up all the things that you're not doing and you're dropping. And eventually that leads to resentment. Because we don't like, we're willing to do it for small children or someone we care about and ill. You know, there's definite times when it's appropriate. So discipline.

Let's talk for a moment about distractions. And then decisions. Okay. All the D things that come with, responsibility, discipline, distractions, and decisions. Distractions. Wow. How easy is it to get distracted from the things that we've been determined that we're going to be disciplined on, right?

Yeah, absolutely. They're everywhere. They're constantly pulling at your attention. Now, I'm going to quote from, it's the Aramaic translation of what is known as the Lord's Prayer. And for people who don't know it, I encourage people to look at it. up. And there's a few different translations of it. I'm very partial to one. And one of the, you know, one of the sentences in it says, do not let us be. So what's attributed is the Lord's

prayer, our Father who are in heaven that kind of that's been around for since, let's say, the fourth century current era is, is, you know, what's used in both Christian and other paths. Yet what a lot of people don't know is the more original words from the Aramaic, not having been translated through Latin, Greek, and other languages and kind of padded around with patriarchy. How it starts is, O cosmic birther of all radiance. A little bit different from our father who are in heaven, right? Oh, cosmic further of all radiance.

So Jesus was a consciousness teacher who spoke to Mother God, as easily as Father God. And so one of my favorite lines in that version is do not let us be seduced by that which would divert us from our true purpose, but

illuminate the opportunities of the present moment. Do not let us be seduced by that which would divert us from our true purpose, but illuminate the opportunity of the present moment.

It's really easy to get distracted and diverted and seduced. Yeah. You know? And the thing is, and here's all my Eastern teachers that I bow to. It's in that moment when we realize, oh, oh, I just fell asleep on the path.

Okay, I got diverted and distracted. Everything else, we don't give up. We just stand up and keep walking. We just get up. up and keep going. And these, you know, that's one of the most important teachings that I have taken from my Eastern teachers, which is you don't sit by the side of the road, boo-hoo, poor me, I fell asleep, you know.

I'm going to sit here and whip myself. So it's like, no, stand up, long, slow, deep breath. If there's anything you need to clean up, clean it up, and then just, just. keep going. Just keep going. And learn what you need to learn about being diverted and being distracted. And then getting closer to what is my true purpose. What is my true purpose?

And that may be illuminated and then we fall asleep again and then we wake up again. And then we go, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, I got it again. again, you know, our language in the 70s, okay, because remember, that's my kind of era, the 60s and 70s, and it was all ramdash, and, you know, the whole thing that was happening with all that. We had these phrases that we would use, and it would be, you get it and you lose it, and you get it, and you lose it, okay? You get it and you lose it again.

And there was a, it's not that it's okay that we get it and lose it. It's a what is so. It's just the reality that that's what we do. And now we can either enash our teeth and, you know, tear on wear, or we can just go, okay, we get it and we lose it. And let's try and hold on to the getting it longer. Let's just do that. Holding on to the getting it longer.

And so we lose it for shorter periods and we get it for longer periods. And, you know, moving in the stream of our consciousness, it means illuminating the opportunities of the present moment. When we're moving in the stream of our consciousness, we see the illumination of the opportunities in the present moment. When we're all caught up with stuff, it's happening and it's around us and we're losing it. We're not because we're diverted and distracted and it's all tied up with hyper and hypo and I didn't

do and I should do and I'm responsible for, you know, questions. Yes. So the first question is, would you be so kind as to say the name of that translation again? It's the Aramaic translation of the Lord's Prayer. And there's a few people who have done. So if anybody's interested, you can just Google and I'll send you after you. I'll send a copy of my favorite version of it. So because you know, translation, especially of older languages, can be difficult because one symbol can mean a few things, you know. And so you'll see that in translations of older, older languages, older cultural writings. You're going to see that there's going to be slightly different

versions of things. So the Nag Hammadi scholar, because these versions, come from the Nag Hammadi Library. And so there's the Nag Hammadi scholars have done translations. You know, learn Aramaic to be able to translate it, right? And so there's a couple of different versions out. And again, I'm happy to send you, what I'll do is I'll actually post it on LinkedIn. Perfect.

And my favorite version. And so it's, we see that this sense of response. responsibility and who am I and what life is about is profoundly deeply rooted in the spiritual traditions of the human species. That you're going to find these teachings, what's known as a perennial philosophy, you're going to find them in every great spiritual tradition. They're going to have some version of it, you know.

And then we, you know, we tweak it. Of course we do when people play with it. You know, it's a whole other conversation. You have to get me and Dr. David Sullivan. Yes. We'd have a conversation on misquoting Jesus. I love that and so would I. That would be a great conversation because of what happened in all.

of those translations and rewriting and scribal errors and people deciding to tweak something and, you know, rewrite history a little bit to suit themselves. And you know how people in ancient Greece would just erase whatever in Egypt, and take down the old pharaoh and put the new pharaoh up. And, okay, well, you know, that hasn't changed much. Those things are still happening. And so to take responsibility today, we just need to say, okay this is what is so and now we have all those distractions and diversions and how do we stay on

track and that's where self-discipline and self-responsibility comes in but it's really about keeping it healthy not going to lose not going too tight and so let's move on to decisions how do we make decisions okay choices so i'm going to give you a little list and you're to see if you agree with. Okay. I choose. So self-respect, accompany self-determination.

So they all work together. Self-respect, self-responsibility, self-determination. So that willpower and action again. So it takes courage and willpower. Two things working together. We need courage.

We also need clarity. Sometimes it's not clear, but we make the best, that we can in the moment, being willing to revisit it if we have to, if circumstances change. Okay. Okay, so a little list. I believe that our life options include the care of the body, yes, care of the soul, how we care for our soul, okay, our home, our finances, our relationships, our careers, work, study, We're back at school, what have you, and our activities. So we play tennis or golf or play bridge, whatever it is that we do.

Okay. I choose, you choose, George chooses, my words. Are we responsible for our words? Absolutely. Absolutely. My actions. Do I get to blame other people? Well, you know, I only did it because how's that one work?

for you. Okay. So words, actions. How about my attitudes? My attitudes. Yeah. My behavior. I don't get to blame somebody else. I only did it because she started it. Okay, this is small children say this. Okay, small children, we teach them that we can't blame my brother, you know, if we bopped him because he knocked over our Lego blocks. okay. It's like, yeah, I really get why you wanted to pop in one, but you know, the bottom line is, is you're still responsible for your actions, both of you, you know, into the corner each of you. So how about this? My beliefs.

I'm responsible for my beliefs. I can't blame them on culture, society, a religion that I was exposed to. If I discovered that I have beliefs that don't feel in alignment with my higher self and my true, you know, authentic self, what do I do? How do you change beliefs? I think it starts with the language, the inner dialogue that you have, the story you tell yourself, your words become your thoughts.

The stories that live inside of us, the stories that live inside of us, and we have to say, wow, I heard this story over and over again when I was growing up or at school or wherever it was. I was taught this in fill in the blank, my culture, my school, my family home on the street, whatever. But now I realize I don't want to believe that anymore, whether it's about myself. Because sometimes we're taught things about ourselves. you know one of the most powerful exercises that we did when I was doing my psychosynthesis training you know going back what 35 something years now but um the work of Roberto said you know one of the most powerful exercises that we

did was about beliefs what do I believe about when we had started with myself what do I believe about myself and take that deeper and then take that deeper and then take that deeper and then take that deeper. And then we start to, each of us start to understand that there's things that we came to believe about ourselves that actually aren't true, that aren't healthy, but don't help us to live our full potential in everyday life. So whether there are things that diminish us, because they're going to fall into two categories. The first one is those things which diminish us, where we believe we're, let's just use the, we, word on bad, okay?

Or I'm not good at, or I'm not enough, whatever it is. Okay. And then there's those beliefs where we're special and wonderful. Those are dangerous beliefs because inside of ourselves, there's a difference between I'm special to mom and I'm special. Okay. There's a huge difference there. mom loves me and I'm special to mom because I'm mom's little girl, little boy,

what have you, to I'm special. And there was a whole chunk of time there where very strange things were being said to young children. And I'm not sure if they still are or not, but this kind of bubble was being created, which is not actually as unhealthy for children as your bad is. you're marvellous and wonderful. It's like you can do anything you want. Well, how about we all have strengths

and we all have, you know, shortcomings and we can work at everything, but it doesn't mean we're going to get it or we're going to win it or we're going to be first in it. We have to learn that there's some things that we're going to really do well in with our strengths and there's some things that we may have to work quite a bit harder

and still only be mediocre at. Okay? I mean, like, seriously, you know? And to tell young children that you can be anything you want to be, you can do anything you want to do is what does that do to children as far as a sense of responsibility goes? That if I don't become president of the United States, or if I don't become an astronaut and pilot the ship to Mars, then I'm not enough. like what happens to all of those layers of either you're not good enough or you're so marvelous and special that you should be able to do or can do anything you want and so messaging that we get the messaging that we get is going to affect our sense of self-responsibility in life as to what's mine and what's not mine and it also might send us completely in the wrong direction instead of saying hey listen you you you have this lifetime and you're going to have your gifts and your strengths and you know you're also

going to have your surecomings because we all have them and you're going to have your little personality glitches because we all have them and you're going to have some habits that people are going to love and some habits that people aren't going to like so much and we all have to work with this and now how do we go forward building on our strengths and managing those other stuff in a way that we find what our true sense of self is and we can move to work to work. authenticity and find within ourselves that which has meaning for us and and the very things that you know we thought okay I might do that in life turns out that we don't do that in life we kind of look at it and go you know what no that's interesting you know and we don't have

parents imposing on us that we have to be an accountant or we have to go into the family business or we have to become a doctor we have to whatever it is okay imposing things on our sense of self and our responsibility so beliefs what we come to believe about ourselves will impact our sense of responsibility so we have to sit down and have a look at them it's it's amazing to me to think about the way in which we've been conditioned to have unrealistic expectations without even knowing it. Like if we're just hearing that, I'm like, oh my gosh. Right.

And it all focuses down into our unconscious and then we're over it all the time. But we don't recognize it because we're always being distracted and diverting. Okay. And a lot of the time we're distracting and diverting ourselves. Never mind just general life getting in the way. And maybe that's why we distract ourselves is because we have these unrealistic expectations. So why not take a break from it and look at this shiny object instead of realizing you're not going to hit those ridiculous things. Exactly. You're getting it. You're getting it.

And if we look at the level of kind of distraction and diversion and dependency issues, addiction in our society, you know, Anne Wilson's Schafe, well written, well published American psychologist who's written and published so much on. on dependency issues and addictions and codependency. And one of her books is when society is an addict. Yeah. And what do we do when society itself has become addicted to its own culture and its own materialism? And we've forgotten what to society is a human relationship, ships are about and how to work together and how what are we accomplishing what are we moving towards

so yeah our beliefs are really important okay so moving along i choose how i spend my time how i use my energy my life energy my life force how i invest it you know are we like the candle We've only got so many hours. I don't know. I don't know. I think so because, you know, I'm 73 now. I have less energy than I did 10 years ago. 10 years ago, I had less energy than I had 10 years before.

And so we can see there's this, you know, it's like a booster rocket that thrusts, you know, the spaceship out of the Earth's orbit. And then once it's out there, you know, it's got this little solar panel that keeps it going to it's going. And so, you know, there's, we have to adjust to the time and the energy that we have and how we're investing in it. And so I can take my time and energy and I can spend it with friends and family on meaningful work, work that has meaning for me. And if, if somebody has a job that doesn't have meaning for them, they have only two healthy choices. Find meaning in it. bring meaning to it, okay, or dust off your CV and see what else is out there. Creative activities.

You know, unless you're kind of both parents working and you have, you know, two, three children under the age of, you know, six or something, most people do have some time that they can do creative activities and sports and education and, you know, social activities and things like that. And how do we, how do we find the balance? Rest and relaxation, being in nature, our spiritual development. So we're responsible. You and I and everyone listening, we are responsible for where we put our life energy and our time, how we invest it in our life. Yeah.

Now, I have a couple of questions because you're always so amenable. It's a kind of playing this game. And so I feel in the, fill in the sentence, okay, complete the sentence. I feel most self-responsible when I. I feel most self-responsible when I am providing for my family. Okay. Okay. I feel the least self-responsible when I.

Don't live up to my words. Oh Yeah Thank you Love your honesty If I take responsibility For making myself anxious Is that I don't know

Is that a question? I don't hear a question Can you repeat the question again? If I was to take responsibility For making myself anxious So let's complete the rest of the sentence If I was to take responsibility For making myself anxious I could have more time doing the things I love.

Great. So that's going to be your homework for today. If I give up the lie of being unable to change, it's a hard one. Yeah. If I give up the lie of being able, unable to change. Then I can become the person I'm supposed to be. How about the person I really am? person you're supposed to be. That sounds like somebody told you. Okay. Yes. They did tell me that.

The person I am. I can become the person I am. Yes. You already the person you are. You are 100% and fully the person you are. And okay, so let's take that. So what's in the way? What's in the way? If you were to take responsibility for whatever is in the way that's limiting, you or preventing you from being fully yourself, if you take full responsibility for those, let's call them limitations or... One more time. Ask me the question one more time. Okay.

I've got to take it all in. If I give up the lie of being unable to change, okay? So if I... Okay. Then I can accept myself for everything for who I am, my shortcomings, my strengths, that I'm enough. If I give up the lie, then I realize I'm enough. I don't need to be anything else.

Yeah, I can just... Can let go. Surrender maybe. I can surrender to whatever this being me is. Okay. And then I can see if... Okay, I've got some beliefs. I don't like them, so we're going to toss them out.

Oh, I see I've got an attitude. Don't really like that one. Okay, I'm going to toss that out Because that doesn't feel like in alignment with how I want to be in my everyday life. Right. Oh, I see I say some words. Don't like those words when I say those words. I don't like them.

Would I say those words in front of my grandchildren? Would I say those words as front of my rabbi or my spiritual teacher or self-relection? self-awareness. Self-awareness. So that lie of being unable to change, you're now seeing is just simply a belief system around a limitation that is an illusion. Right.

Do you need me to say that again? Yes, I do. It's a belief, a belief system. Okay. Around limitations that is an illusion. Those, these limitations don't exist. Okay. If you had said to me, you know, I never finished high school and I feel inadequate because of that and I feel unable to change that, you'd be like a half of many people saying, okay, I'm going to support you to get back to school. Let's do it. You either go back to school and finish that and get it in your hand or you completely let it go and say, man, I don't need that. And I've been living the last 30 years. I needed that to be okay. But wait a minute. I started. business that the $10 million

entrepreneurship something or other I didn't finish high school but hey look what I did I don't need that high school thing okay so you know we see we have these healthy decisions where we either do something that is looking like

a limitation holding us back from being ourselves and being fully responsible for our lives you know I can't be fully responsible because we didn't finish high school or I didn't get a college degree or I didn't do this or I didn't do that or I didn't marry a doctor. I don't know. All these things that we have inside of us.

Where mommy didn't like me very much or I don't know, whatever the story is, okay, that gives us these limitations that we then can come to understand are an illusion because we can either be responsible and do something about it. Start an exercise program. Lose that extra 30 pounds. don't feel good because of it. Go back to school and get a degree or take a course or a certificate of some kind or that's where the discipline and the willpower and the courage comes in. Get out there and do it. No more excuses for what your life is or isn't.

Right? Right. When I avoid responsibility for the words that come out of my mouth. I feel horrible. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Most of us will. Flip side of that when I don't say the words that are appropriate, when I'm not responsible for speaking out. I'm dishonest. I feel dishonest. Yeah. That's great. Yeah, because it is a form, isn't it? I'm not being honest with yourself.

Yeah. So we see that, wow, that we can say things that aren't kind necessary or true. And we're in another Buddhist teaching on speech. Or we can withhold things that need to be said. There's a part of us that's responsible for speaking the truth, for speaking when it's important, when, again, when it's true, when it's necessary, and then trying to find a kind way to do it. And if we withhold what is true and necessary, then it's drilling.

Uh-oh. Home office. Never know what's going to happen. Then that's what happens. Okay. Well, we came to one or two last little question. Sure. Am I responsible for the realization of my desires and dreams?

Absolutely. What does that look like? Authenticity. Authenticity. Okay. I am responsible for the level of consciousness I bring to my life. 100%. Yes.

I am responsible for how I prioritize my time. 100%. Yes. I'm responsible for the quality of my communications. Absolutely. Yeah. A lot of people, one of the challenges I found in all the years I worked with people on communication, including myself, I just want, let me put me right up front there. Some of the hard teachings that I had to learn about communication is, you know, and I bow to some of my teachers on this, is do you want to be heard and understood?

because a lot of people think that communication is just me going blah, blah, blah, dump. Okay? And yeah, you know what if we've been holding things in and the things we haven't said, you know, from time to time, maybe we actually need to do a blah, blah, blah, blah, dump, okay? But do we really want to be heard and understood? And if we want to be heard and understood, how do we communicate in a way that has the quality

in the integrity that it stands the best chance of the person that we're speaking to getting what we're really saying. What does that look like? I think it looks a lot like listening. Okay. So listening. What else? Remember it's communicating. It's the speaking side. I'm responsible for my words here. So it's the speaking side as well as the listening. Okay. So listening, tick, yes, we want to listen. But when it comes to speaking so that we have, hope to be heard and understood. What does that speaking look like? I think it looks like doing your empathy, trying to find your see yourself in that other person's situation. I think that is something that allows you to communicate in the level that is meaningful.

If I can see it from your point of view and do my best to come without any sort of animosity or resentment in my words, then I allow you to be. be a receptacle to those words, almost like a mirror. Okay, we're getting closer. There's a really important piece that's missing. You're still focusing too much on the other person. Okay. You want to bring it right back inside of me.

Honesty. Bringing. Honest. So again, what's true, what's necessary. If I'm responsible for my words, for communicating me, my aspirations, my hopes, my longings, even my expectations, even if I can say, I know I have these expectations and expectations are just expectations, but if I communicate them in a way that is true and necessary, what does that look like? Is it simple? Is it? I think for me it's fearful that I'll lose people,

if I'm honest. Oh, good. We got there. Okay. If I really want to my words, And if I'm authentic and honest in my speaking, oh, my God, everybody's going to panic and run away from me. Abandonment. Abandonment. Yeah, yeah, they're going to just leave me and abandon me. So you see how deep those belief systems are that limit us from being fully responsible for our words, our actions. If we're not speaking being responsible and speaking our words, because some part of us believes, if I really say what I really think and what I really feel, then people will.

abandon me or people will be angry with me or people won't accept what I'm saying but then we have to swallow our words and our truth and we then we're not being responsible and we're not being honest to ourselves and then we're not respecting ourselves and then we're going to feel not very good right yes absolutely so in the end is it is it better to you know and again I love the I keep saying is it true, is it necessary? Kind, you know, about the Buddhist teachings. And so if we look at this, this is true, and yes, it's necessary. In other words, it's true.

It's what I'm feeling, thinking, witnessing, and living. And it feels necessary to communicate if I want things to move in a healthy direction. Okay. Then I have to have the courage and the discipline, the self-determination, to be able to sit and communicate that. And then comes liberation. Because when we speak that which is true and necessary, then it gives everybody else around us the opportunity

to find that which is true and necessary for themselves. If you do what is for your higher good and being self-responsible for words and actions, then you're going to give the people around you the best opportunity to do the same thing. If you're not doing it because you're scared that people will not like it, they'll be unhappy with it. They'll abandon you.

They'll be angry with you. They'll be unhappy. They'll be displeased. Then you're not going to feel really good in your soul about that. Where'd that take to? It's just a, it sounds so easy on the surface. Oh, it's not. It's not.

It's not. Okay. This is a big one. People can use simple and easy. It's simple. Speak your truth. Speak what's true and necessary. Simple.

But this is like saying quit smoking and lose 25 pounds. Nobody's going to say that's easy. Right. Okay. You go to the doctor, doctor says, hey, buddy, you've got high blood pressure

and your cholesterol's up. You need to lose 25 pounds and you need to quit smoking. And you've got to quit smoking. And you've got to, go off and you weep because it's not going to be easy. Okay. It's simple. So the really important things in life are often simple, but it's definitely not easy. Yeah, it reminds me there's a great quote by Carl von Klauschwitz, who was a great general. And he said, everything in war is easy,

or everything in war is simple. But everything that is simple in war comes with the cost of life. You know, and it's just like, phew. Yeah. So this man goes. Got it. Yeah. Yeah. He got it. You got it. You know?

It's simple, but it's going to have a big cost and it's not going to be easy. You know? And it's almost as if letting go feels as if part of you is dying. And I don't know why that has to be, but maybe that's the, it's necessary. It's ego death. Yes. It's ego death. You will not physically die.

I mean, eventually, yes, we all do. eventually our son will die, but that's going to be in a couple of trillion years, you know. So if you and I are back again, doing another cycle around the sun when it goes, okay, then we'll go, oops, there we go. So, yeah, it's ego death. And ego death is uncomfortable, but it's extremely liberating. And when we take that long, slow, deep breath and say, okay, this is just ego. It's just, and, you know, what is ego?

Ego collects belief systems and delusions and ego collects behaviors and habits and attitudes. And, you know, I think that ego's a real pack rat. And it just allows to stuff itself with all kinds of things because it makes it feel secure. Right. And when we start to strip ego of faulty beliefs and delusions and distractions and, and all those things that it's got busy with. It feels naked and vulnerable, but it also then feels liberated.

Then we feel, wow. So maybe the last question on this. What would my life look like if I take full responsibility for being my most authentic self? Liberating. How is my life different from yesterday? If today I take full responsibility for myself. I struggle to find the right word.

I want to say rewarding, but that's not it. That's okay. Take your time. Okay. And you don't have to have one word. You can have five words, ten words. Don't limit yourself. I think I'll have the love that I deserve if I allow it.

And, you know, and then I'd love to take you past the love I deserve. Yeah. Because that sounds like a kind of a young. experience of I didn't get something I'm now realizing it I should have had it and maybe I deserved to have fill in the blank safety shelter food you know care respect tension affection okay but let's right let's up the ante on this one how about I'll be able to provide the love to others that they deserve. Nope. That's your fallback position. I didn't get it, so I'm going to give it to you.

Maybe it'll feel good inside because if I give it to you, maybe it'll fill me up. So no. I'm not against you creating a beautiful sacred space for others to grow in that we're calling love. I'm all in favor of you sharing love and giving love to your family and your friends and your community. But how about if I remove, if I'm fully responsible for myself and my authenticity, I realize that I am love. That's who I am. It's not what I deserve anymore. It's what I am.

Yeah, I love that. It's a vibration of my being. That if I remove all the illusions and strip it all off, the only thing was left is vibrating light and love. It's not attached to anything anymore. it's not attached to merit or value or needs or other people. No, it's just my state of being. It's my state of being.

No attachment. Yes. Yes, it is. Yes, I like that one better. I love that one, yeah. Moving beyond this attachment to like I deserve something or I should have something. Because when you say I deserve, what you're basically saying is I don't have it right now. Right.

Right. And I'm going to be here if you don't have it. I am it. I don't have to look outside of me for anything. I have it all inside of me. And I am it. I am the source. See, this is what all our great spiritual teachers tell us. It's inside you. You know, Jesus said, don't go looking for the kingdom of heaven. Outside of yourself up in the sky there, kingdom of heaven is within you. Okay. You are the source of the love that you are looking. for you are the source of the peace that you're hoping to find you are the source of the truth that you know inside is somewhere but yeah it's all inside the gospel of thomas yeah yeah all the great teachers they say the same thing how does that feel like empowering loving caring like a weight off my shoulders like a connection to me yeah yeah just me just me without attachments yeah without attachment expectations and i have everything you know one of my favorite mantras is i have everything i need and all as well one of my favorite i i can't even remember the source of it

you know i don't even remember i'd love to attribute it but i think it's very very very very old you know I think it's one of the female saints it goes back centuries and centuries and centuries have everything I need and all as well another one is I'm happy in peace with the whole universe that's from the key of harmony which is a very beautiful kind of prayer statement we open our concentration works with it. It's a prayer statement that I say every day many times

to myself. I'm happy and a piece with the whole young eyes. Those are the kind of affirmations that bring it all back in. So then I'm responsible for my happiness, not other people. If other people don't love me,

okay. If other people don't like me, okay. You know what? I don't like everybody either. Sorry. sorry out there don't have been offended anyone but it's all okay we're all good you know it's okay to not like yeah yeah it's okay you know i'm reminded of something we said earlier in the conversation about the slippery nature of getting it and losing it and it's very helpful to know that that's the way that's the nature of it because often we find ourselves or sometimes i find myself having it and having this clear vision only to have it be distracted out of it in some ways and you try to spend

all this time getting back into it when maybe it's just that glimpse that you got that's enough maybe that's that's what it was maybe you were supposed to catch that glimpse and then take time to think about that glimpse instead of trying to get back there like it's just something to hold on to for a moment. And weaving, you know, our way through life and understanding that everything somehow is just all part of the tapestry. Right. And we're just all moving in the stream of our consciousness and how to navigate as wisely

as we can, knowing that we will always screw up. Yeah. And it just is like, okay, so hopefully I'll screw up less. Right. and be more moving in my stream of consciousness and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and direction you know now there's one more thing yeah responsibility if are we still good for time we still have course plenty and that's the victim experience and this is a kind of a deep tough one and you know people will ask me like why did you put in in with responsibility and it's like

Because that's where it belongs. Sorry. Where else would we put it? No, we can't not talk about the victim experience. First of all, it's archetypal. I don't know anybody who hasn't had some form of victim experience. It's like the Buddha says, no one escapes illness or suffering. No one.

So it's archetypal. We all experience at one time or another something. in which we go, you know, when we come out and somebody's side swiped our car, hit and run, they've gone. Okay, what do we feel like in that moment? We feel victimized by that. Now, sometimes, you know, far too often as children in school or at home, we are the victim of some kind of either neglect or abuse. Okay, so these are genuine experiences that people have. we're certainly not going to deny them.

They're real experiences that people have. And there's an vibration of the archetype of victim and martyr. These are archetypal forces. You understand what I'm saying, right? Yeah. So they're universal. It's not like some people have them and some people don't. And so we can all relate to these experiences.

But then how do we manage them? That's the thing. Do we take responsibility for the times when we were a genuine victim? And do we do our best to transform, to heal, to understand, to repair, to... Is that our responsibility? Yeah. Yeah, it is. And whether or not we find forgiveness end or reconciliation,

This is the path that each of us can only explore, hopefully with wise advice, professional or counseling or spiritual or a spiritual advisor, whoever is advising us. But is it our responsibility? Yes. To come to terms with experiences that we had as a victim and then do what we can that is healthy and right for us to be liberated from those experiences. Does that make sense? Yeah, it does make sense. It makes perfect sense. The only way out is through. Yeah, the only way. And sometimes that can be really painful and difficult and you may need quite a bit of support.

Yeah. And we need to learn to ask for help. And we need to, whether it's in a support group of some kind, whether it's in individual counseling, whether it's the help of a family member, whether it's reading books and taking programs or whatever it is, that it's for us to move forward in our, let's call it, healing journey, from whatever it is that we've experienced, that has made an impact on us, that has somehow affected us how we see ourselves, what we believe about ourselves, so that we become liberated from those things.

And so, yeah, that piece, I believe, is our responsibility. Now, there's a bit of a dark side to that. There are some people who become very attached to being a victim, being a martyr and a victim. And it's as if they almost set up their life so that that's the place that they live in. Now, fortunately, I don't think that that's the larger percentage. Most people who have had experiences that have been difficult that have left their mark, want to resolve them, want to be liberated from them,

want to grow from them, okay? That's my understanding. However, I have encountered people who are deeply committed in staying the complaining, constantly complaining, needing attention, needing something, something, fill in the blank for their victim experience.

And we'll suck you dry. And then once you're sucked dry, move on to find somebody else, such a right. So self-responsibility means taking responsibility for this piece. That whatever happened to us, that we don't understand the karma of it. You know,

and the other side of it is understanding where we've been the perpetrator. That's often really hard to take responsibility for. You know, there's a large focus now in, And this kind of maybe treading a little bit on thin ice. But there's a large focus right now in the kind of psychedelic movement on one kind of healing and trauma. And there's a big focus on that. And I'm wondering, you know, and I'm certainly not wanting to point fingers in any way at anybody or anybody's program or anything like that. But all I'm asking is a question, which is, does this?

the accountability and responsibility for the ways that we've been the perpetrator, is that part of it too? The omissions and the commissions, which are mine, not just the ones that happened to me, the omissions and the commissions, because that's one side of it, but my omissions and commissions. You've got such a serious face on here, Joy. Tell me what you're thinking. I said it's a bit of a thing. I think it's perfect. I think we should, I think we should un- unveil it even more. Okay. Next episode. Okay, okay.

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, we'll do a deeper number on. Yeah. Do a deeper number on this. Because a lot of people don't want to talk about it. You know, they don't want to talk about it. A lot of people are, or seem to be quite willing to talk about this happened to me. Right.

But fewer people seem willing in this current movement of healing and psychedelic. and everything. I'm not seeing or hearing much about healing what I have done to myself or what I might have done to others by my, through my lack of self-love, self-respect and self-responsibility. Or self-awareness too, of course. And so for me, they're all part of responsibility.

I'm saying, oh yeah, I'm responsible for my words and I'm responsible for my actions and I'm responsible for this. Okay, well, then I really mean I'm responsible for my omissions and my commissions. And then I need to take ownership of any of my victim experiences where I was and be willing to work with that to transform. But I also need to be willing to where I might have been the, you know, maybe I wasn't only the mouse. Maybe I was also the cat. you know, I wasn't just the prey, maybe I was also the predator, not just the victim, but also the perpetrator. Stephen Lewin, who maybe you know him, you know, comrade of Ram Dass's same era, all the guys, you know, doing the thing and, you know, going east and coming back with Buddhism and Hinduism and what have you. Sigmund Mavim well known for his work, I think his most well-known book would be who dies.

And he, based on his exploration, he became, you know, not only committed to the Buddhist Pant, but also to, you know, carrying on the work of Kubler-Ross on grieving and death and dying. And really one of a number of people who really took that field forward. Okay. And I think it's in that book, but it may be in another. one of his books where he talks about an experience he had, which is obviously on an entheogen or a psychedelic. And he says, you know, that being a Jewish man, that he has this experience where he kind of stretches in and connects with the Holocaust. And he's having this devastating experience of, you know, of what happened in the Holocaust. And just as he's trying

to cope with that and his experience and breathe with it and be with it, the whole thing. The whole thing shifts. And he finds himself standing and he looks down and he sees these shiny black dates. And then with word, he looks and he sees himself in an answer movement. And he understands the power of being on both sides of the equation and how we need to at least be willing to hold that model up to look at. You know? So it's a deep conversation that when we're willing to do that when we're willing to take ownership of it for ourselves and when we're willing to see that human history is is back and forth and back and forth and back and forth on on who's responsible for what okay it's hard for how far back do we go

until we realize we can go back thousands and thousands of years and it's the same story being played out one side and then the other side and then one side and then the other side and we're still doing this today what did gondy say if we stay with an eye for an eye the world will be blind so self-responsibility it's when we really take it seriously we go wow that goes really really deep and if we do that on an individual level and then we start doing it on at national level It blows my mind to think about the things you just said on a national, on a human, on a societal, on a forever level. And you can see it in the relationship where you spoke about earlier where sometimes the person with the problem, the family enables them. It's like we see it in our relationships and we see it in the world.

It's the same enabling and moving back and forth through. Yes. Yes, it is. It is. Just on a larger scale. We're dangerous toys. It's all us. Yeah.

It's all us. You know, it's all us. And what is that about? And how do we understand it? Do we have some kind of power or ability to make positive changes? And if so, what does that look like? And again, we're right back to, in my life, what am I responsible for? And how do I bring positive, effectual change?

here just in my life. And then if I feel called to, how do I help outside of my life? How do I help in my community, in my, with my, you know, my city, with my nation, with my tribe? How do I take responsibility for what I can offer there? And so it's that dance. So it's been wonderful. We really wandered around the topic, you know.

We talked about, you know, being responsible for our words and our actions and our beliefs and our thoughts and our behaviors and our bodies and our souls and our minds. And then what we're not responsible for, you know, and then the strength and the impairment to be able to say, I'm sorry, that's not my responsibility. You know? Yeah. To recognize where that line is and to be able to hold it true and clear and clean. And then again, that sneaky old victim thing where we, you know, I'm 25 pounds overweight. I mean, I'm personally not 25 pounds overweight, but maybe 10, okay? It's what happens with older women.

You know, that I can't blame that on someone. Right. You know, I love how, I'm sorry, oh, goodness, we could go on down on a whole other topic on this, but I love how people are blaming the food industry for what they're eating. Okay. That's another conversation. I'm going to stop right there. Okay.

Okay, it's called don't buy it. I put a new shopping cart. Don't eat it and then blame somebody that you're eating it, right? So there's an appalling lack of self-responsibility in our culture today. and which we're trying to take make other people responsible for decisions we have made and are making and so long slow deep breath everybody and remember that you are loved that's that's i think that's the spot right there yeah you you you that's who you are that's who you are now don't you go forgetting it because that's who you are yeah

See, simple, not easy. Yeah. Simple, not easy. Well, okay. Now, I know I said, I made a few promises here. I promised that I would put up the Aramaic translation that from Aramaic directly into English, okay, from modern Aramaic Nakamati scholars. Then I would post that up on LinkedIn for everybody to hopefully enjoy. Did I promise anything else, church?

I don't remember. I think you under-promised and over-delivered. It was such a beautiful conversation. Oh, okay. I feel moved. I feel better. And like most of our conversations, it leaves me with so much to think about and so much to be thankful for.

I really appreciate your time and the book. And I think everybody that's, if you're watching it, this is what the book looks like. And what we talked about today is sort of the landscape of some of the maps that Dr. Rochester paints in her books. they're really, really well done. They're really beautiful and they will provide you with a lifetime of learning. At least they have to me so far. I would also point out that you have a brand new site that looks amazing.

Once I went and checked out, easy navigatable. Yeah. I redid the website and, you know, it was long overdue. I was just, you know, things got super busy this last six or eight months and I just couldn't get at it. But yeah, I redid the website to put up a lot more. more of things on my website. For those of you were interested, www.

www.org, jesska-R-R-G-R-G-R-Gasca-R-Gaster.com. And there's a ton of stuff, videos, audios, publications, and everything is available free for educational purposes, except my two books, which you can buy either through the publisher or Amazon. And thank you, George, as always.

It's wonderful. See everybody next month. We'll dive more deeply into some of these topics. Well, fantastic. Thank you so much for everybody who played a part and listened to the conversation and enjoyed it. And we are so thankful you with us today. That's all we got. Check out the links in the show notes.

Buy the books. You'll definitely love them. That's all we got. Aloha.