TrueLife - The Highway Man: Adam Lopez Part 2 — Crime, Culture & Rebellion
Episode Date: July 27, 2020One on One Video Call W/George https://tidycal.com/georgepmonty/60-minute-meetingSupport the show:https://www.paypal.me/Truelifepodcast?locale.x=en_US🚨🚨Curious about the future of psych...edelics? Imagine if Alan Watts started a secret society with Ram Dass and Hunter S. Thompson… now open the door. Use Promocode TRUELIFE for Get 25% off monthly or 30% off the annual plan For the first yearhttps://www.district216.com/https://adamlopezmusic.com/homeIn the second half of This heartfelt & candid interview. Adam gets into the deep waters of philosophical Behavior. He is brutally honest on What his life was like growing up as well as how those life events helped him to become the man he is today. I hope you enjoy legendary singer/songwriter & my friend.Adam LopezTranscripthttps://app.podscribe.ai/episode/48488080Speaker 0 (0s): That I've been able to just kind of keep building it up. Speaker 1 (5s): Yeah. It seems like that part, I find really interesting. And it's something you would only know if you were in the business, there's so much rich history at clubs that you wouldn't even think or clubs are there. There's so much rich history. If you, if you, if you learn about it, like, you know, how many people have played the whiskey to go go, many people have played, you know, different rooms in San Diego. And it's just like, I had no idea that Juul played there or was like a resident there. And it just, that's just the stuff you would only know if you were in a position like yourself. Speaker 0 (39s): Yeah. And that, that was, that was, that was where it all started. Like the, we were talking about being self-educated for the purpose of furthering, you know, your life's goals. So if you're not going to do it via school or traditional routes, you still have to do it. Right. You still have to put the work in and not just the hands on work of your craft, but you have to know the history of the people that, that, that did it before you, so you know how to connect the dots and how it got to where you are. Speaker 1 (1m 13s): Yeah. You know, it's, it's interesting, like there's this book called tech technically, but in the book, the guy makes the argument much like you did that history to be part of every subject, whether you're going to talk about baseball, guitar playing, or surfing, every sport, every activity has a history behind it. And if you want to succeed in that passion, you're doing, you should know the history of the thing you're learning, right? Yeah. From people before you. Speaker 0 (1m 43s): Yeah. Like I haven't been, this is my first time, like back in California in almost 20 years, like, like, you know, with some roots here. So, but you know, when we were kids, we were surfing and skateboarding. Yeah. I still, I still know my surf history and my skateboarding history and I never, I never really pursued doing any of those professionally. Right. But I love them so much. And I still do that. I couldn't sit here and tell you that I loved them, but then not be able to answer your questions about them. Yeah. Yeah. I feel weird about that. Yeah. You know, so there's, there's things along the way that whether I try to do them professionally or not, if I, if I really truly love them or care about them, I need to learn about it. Right. And more than just the doing of them. Yeah. You know, I still know my baseball history pretty well. You know, when we were kids, we would nerd out on that stuff. Yeah. You know, baseball cards and, and, and reading or watching this week in baseball and learning our history. Speaker 1 (2m 46s): Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm so amazed at like, if you look at where, like North County, San Diego at them, there is so many talented people that came out of there. Like, if you look at the skateboarding industry, the music industry, like just look at the people we went to school with. And like there's some real killers out there. You know what I mean? That just went on to be artists in their own. Right. You know, it's so mind blowing to look back and get up to, I can't believe I used to hang out with them with this guy, this guy's a pro skate or do this guy's a pro surfer or this girl's up. This girl's like, Oh my God, it just naturals paintings. You know, it's like it's. So to me, I feel so inspired and thankful to have got to play a small role in all these people's lives that are so at least to me, important in artistic and it looking back on your life, I hope everyone can look back on their life. And if they don't see it now, I think they will when they're later. But I hope they can all find some inspiration from the people they have an outlet you think of, was there something in the water in San Diego? What was it? Speaker 0 (3m 53s): I feel like it was just the right combination of time and place and, and souls like the right people were there. Yeah. You know? Cause it couldn't, I don't, maybe it could have, I don't know, but I feel like it was, it was meant to be that group of people. Like we were, we were really lucky in that there were cliques and there were groups and all that thing. But there was like this inner circle that was bigger than all those little cliques. Right. Where we all had one foot in one circle and one foot in the other circle. But we were all in this bigger circle where we all had similar interests. And then we all had really different interests, but we were all friends. Yeah. You know, and that's it, wasn't a bunch of closed off small circles of people that didn't interact. We all, we all got along. We all, you know, even like we had a huge gang problem that people don't realize, and we had a huge drug problem that people don't realize. Like, I think it might still stand. Like we had the, like the biggest drug bust in American high school history happened at Rancho. Yeah. Yeah. While we were there and we had, we had the biggest national gang crisis in junior high. Like we had more gang members per capita registered with like the Sheriff's department than anywhere in the country at the same time that we had the drug thing. But, but we, we were friends with some of those kids and those gangs and some of those kids selling drugs, they weren't all bad people. They were just doing stupid shit. Yeah. It's true. It's true. Yeah. There was a lot of good people that came out of that. Speaker 1 (5m 33s): Yeah. It's so weird to think about you haven't exploded. You have the worst drug crisis, but then also an explosion of creativity. You know what I mean? Yeah. Some of the like, like there was, I think a lot of people, maybe it was our circle of friends, but you know, a lot of people were so talented in a lot of ways. I remember. Do you remember Josh and Dylan more? They were like, dude, those guys, they, they were, they went to school with us since we were kids. And like, I remember those guys doing like the stairs at Rancho, the library stare for people yeah. Was like 25 stairs. And like both of those guys were some of the most articulate men I've ever known. Those guys were like on another level when it came to intelligence level, when it came to skateboarding, like I just remember being like, always look at those guys, go and do they got these guys did it, man. How do they do those stairs? I just doing so good at math. Speaker 0 (6m 27s): No, they were, they were, I us...
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Darkness struck, a gut-punched theft, Sun ripped away, her health bereft.
I roar at the void.
This ain't just fate, a cosmic scam I spit my hate.
The games rigged tight, shadows deal, blood on their hands, I'll never kneel.
Yet in the rage, a crack ignites, occulted sparks cut through the nights.
The scars my key, hermetic and stark.
To see, to rise, I hunt in the dark, fumbling, fear.
Hears through ruins maze, lights my war cry, born from the blaze.
The poem is Angels with Rifles.
The track, I Am Sorrow, I Am Lust by Codex Serafini.
Check out the entire song at the end of the cast.
That I've been able to just kind of keep building it up.
Yeah, it seemed like, see, that part I find really interesting,
and it's something you would only know if you were in the business.
There's so much rich history.
at clubs that you wouldn't even think are clubs.
There's so much rich history if you learn about it.
Like, you know, how many people have played the Whiskey-A-Gogo?
How many people have played, you know, different rooms in San Diego?
And it's just, like, I had no idea that Jewel played there.
Or was, like, a resident there.
And it just, that's the stuff you would only know if you were in a position like yourself.
Yeah, and that was where it all started.
like the we're talking about being self-educated for the purpose of furthering you know your life's goals so if you're not going to do it via school or traditional roots you still have to do it right you still have to put the work in and not just the the hands-on work of your craft but you have to know the history of the the people that that that did it before you so you know how to connect the dots and how it got to where you are
Yeah, you know, it's a, it's interesting.
There's this book called Technopoly.
But in the book, the guy makes the argument, much like you did,
that history should be part of every subject,
whether you're going to talk about baseball, guitar playing, or surfing.
Every sport, every activity has a history behind it.
And if you want to succeed in that passion you're doing,
you should know the history of the thing you're learning, right?
Yeah.
from people before you.
Yeah, like I haven't been, this is my first time, like, back in California in almost 20 years.
Like, like, you know, with some roots here.
So, but, you know, when we were kids, we were surfing and skateboarding.
Yeah.
I still, I still know my surf history and my skateboarding history.
Yeah, yeah, totally.
Right.
And I never, I never really pursued doing any of those professionally.
Right.
But I love them so much and I still do that I couldn't sit here and tell you that I couldn't
sit here and tell you that I love them, but then not be able to answer your questions about
them.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I feel weird about that.
Yeah.
You know, so there's, there's things along the way that whether I try to do them professionally
or not, if I, if I truly love them or care about them, I need to learn about them.
Right.
And more than just the doing of them.
Yeah.
You know, I still know my baseball history pretty well, you know?
When we were kids, we would nerd out on that stuff.
Yeah.
You know, baseball cards and reading or watching this week in baseball and learning our history.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
I'm so amazed at, like, if you look at where, like, North County, San Diego at them,
there are so many talented people that came out of there.
Like, if you look at the skateboarding industry, the surfing, the music industry, like, just look at the people we went to school with.
And, like, there's some real killers out there.
You know what I mean?
that just went on to be artists in their own right.
You know, it's so mind-blowing to look back and be like,
I can't believe he's to hang out with that.
Yeah.
This guy's a pro-skater.
This guy's a pro-surfer.
Yeah.
This girl's a, oh, my God, isn't that girl's paintings?
You know, it's like, it's so, to me,
I feel so inspired and thankful to have got to play a small role
in all these people's lives that are so, at least to me,
important and artistic.
Looking back on your life,
I hope everyone can look back on their life.
And if they don't see it now,
I think they will when they're later.
But I hope they can all find some inspiration from the people they hang out with.
Do you think of,
was there something in the water in San Diego?
What was it?
I feel like it was just the right combination of time and place and souls.
Like the right people were there.
Yeah.
You know,
because it couldn't,
I don't,
maybe it could have.
I don't know.
But I feel like it was,
it was meant to be that,
that group of people.
Like we were,
we were really lucky in that
there were clicks and there were groups and all that thing.
But there was like this inner circle
that was bigger than all those little clicks.
Right.
Where we all had one foot in one circle
and one foot in the other circle,
but we were all in this bigger circle
where we all had similar interests
and then we all had really different interests,
but we were all friends.
Yeah.
You know, and that's,
it wasn't a bunch of closed off small circles of people that didn't interact.
We all got along.
We all, you know, even like we had a huge gang problem that people don't realize.
And we had a huge drug problem that people don't realize.
Yeah.
Like, I think it might still stand.
Like, we had the, like, the biggest drug bust in American high school history happened.
At Aranto, yeah.
Yeah, while we were there.
And we had, we had the biggest national.
gang crisis in junior high.
Yeah.
Like we had more gang members per capita registered with like the sheriff's
department than anywhere in the country at the same time that we had the drug thing.
But we were friends with some of those kids and those gangs and some of those kids selling drugs.
They weren't all bad people.
They were just doing stupid shit.
Yeah.
It's true.
It's true.
Yeah.
There was a lot of good people that came out of that.
Yeah.
It's so weird to think about you have an explode.
you have the worst drug crisis, but then also an explosion of creativity.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Some of the, like, there is, I think a lot of people, maybe it was our circle of friends,
but, you know, a lot of people were so talented in a lot of ways.
I remember, do you remember Josh and Dylan Moore?
They were, oh, yeah.
Like, those guys, they were, they went to school with us since we were kids.
And like, I remember those guys doing like the stairs at Rancho, the library stairs for people.
Oh, yeah.
It's like 25 stairs.
And like both of those guys were some of the most articulate men I've ever known.
Those guys were like on another level when it came to intelligence.
Yeah.
On a different level when it came to skateboard.
And like I just remember being like always look at those guys going to do.
They got it.
These guys did it, man.
How do they do those stairs?
Yeah.
I just dealing so good at math.
You know?
They were.
They were.
I used to go over to their house when I was, because they were a couple of years
younger or older than me. Right. And I would I would I remember going over to the house like on the
weekends like way too early like seven in the morning and like I live miles away and I would I would
hike my way down the railroad tracks with my skateboard and go knock on their door and like let's go.
Like I would be raging and they would just be like half asleep and like yeah like I was like a little
kid to them like yeah. They couldn't believe that I would like I would just be so so amps to go
hang out with them and skate but they were always cool they never slammed the door in my face
they never were like dude what do you get out of here they never did that yeah um and their older
their older brothers were musicians oh i didn't know know that yeah it's like star and ben and ben's a
really well-respected music producer and musician in san diego still oh i could see like he's a huge
huge part of the music scene he's a he's a hub yeah like he's uh he's produced some pretty big
albums and like uh some of them for like friends of mine like bands that i i've been in or played in
as a hired as a hired gun like he's done their records and stuff he's he's well respected
yeah and uh and you were talking about like keeping it real and not you know like not selling out
musically or artistically that's what that's what ben and dylan did with skateboarding yeah it is
they they were they were at least in in skateboarding five years is huge huge the progression
the progression happens so fast in skateboarding you know every every three months they were they were
years ahead of of most people and and chose not to make it their profession because they
I guess intuitively, they knew the risk involved in making your love, your job.
Yeah.
And that's like, at the time I thought, you guys are nuts.
Like, you know, I was, I was young and, like, eager.
And they were, like, they were wise old men when they were, like, 16.
Yeah.
They were super smart.
It really were.
And so, like, now I look back and just, like, just mad respect, you know, they, they, I mean, it helped that they,
were super smart.
Skateboarding wasn't their only way out.
Right.
Whereas some of our other friends, it kind of was.
They had a head start compared to like myself and some of our friends that were able to make
their art or their love, their job.
You know, for me, like, I, I, unless I wanted to do something like dig ditches or,
you know, put roofs on houses, I really didn't have a whole lot of other options.
like I said it was a it was a risk but as far as I was concerned it wasn't a big risk
it was to them they didn't I don't I don't think I could be wrong but like they were just
smart enough and secure in their life and in their personalities enough to know that they
skateboarding wasn't their only option yeah maybe that's good at it too is because they
yeah it was all love it was all passion there was never any there was never any hurry or
or rush to make it their living.
Right.
And that's why I think that's why it was so,
and I don't mean this in a derogatory way,
but that's why it came so easy to them.
Hmm.
You know what I mean?
Like, yeah.
I remember those, like, we'd have skateboard sessions,
like, out in front of,
when Alex's assessment has lived behind you.
Yeah.
And I was at his house all the time,
and we would all meet up in front of your house with Josh and Dylan.
Yeah.
And go down to the,
the like the shopping center and escapes but it was just so effortless man it was so beautiful
watching those guys do what they did is a beautiful thing whether you're into skateboarding or not
because you don't you don't get to see people do things on that level very often and it's so
amazing to see people do something so effortlessly when like when you and i would watch them
you would agree that it was beautiful and effortlessly and we were in awe, right?
Yeah, because we knew how difficult what they were doing was, but it looked so easy.
That's how I feel when I watch you play guitar.
Thank you.
I think most people would.
It's just weird how it works like that.
You know, we can describe, we can see.
I had this theory, too.
Like, you know, when you think about people, if you see something in somebody that bothers you,
that's because that quality that bothers you in somebody is something you have in yourself or vice versa if you see something beautiful or poetic that's beautiful in someone else isn't it's a quality you have in yourself you're seeing yourself and you're people yeah and yeah i guess we're getting into into more of the like the the the uh the deeper end and that's good that's good because getting back again to the questions you were asking me before about how i got to where i'm at
Um, like I feel like I'm just getting started because I'm getting to the realization of what
you're talking about when it comes to the, the, the spiritual side of it.
Yeah.
Um, you know, I didn't come from the best home.
I didn't have, you know, and I, I hate to, I'm not putting anybody on blast, but like,
I didn't have the best parenting.
You know, I, I was in a lot of ways, I was on my own by the time I was seven or eight years
old.
You know, I was coming, I was coming home to an empty house and cooking my own
food and you know I I was just independent because I had to be like that's just how it worked out
and we didn't have a lot of means so I couldn't you know I couldn't get to go to to do things
that a lot of the other kids got to go and do I was stuck at home and just kind of making my own way
so when I was you know in my late teens and I started I started to really really
I realized I could make a I could make my own way without needing, you know, anybody's financial
backing.
You know, I've been really lucky.
Like, my parents haven't really had to support me.
They've helped me out.
They've helped me out here and there.
But, like, I know of people with real, so-called real jobs that have needed way more
help than I have.
Like, I'm pretty, I'm pretty lucky that way.
But my point, my point is not that I, I don't.
I did it. My point is that I got
I got turned on very early
to the educational
part of the spiritual part
and knowing that
there were a lot of scars
in like I guess these days we call it PTSD
of the childhood
that were
showing signs
it was it was already happening in high school where
the signs were becoming a parent even to me as a teenager
that if I didn't get help or start helping myself
that end of things was going to prohibit
the it was going to it was going to cancel out the talent end of things
right you know what I mean like I could have all the talent in the world
but if the mental emotional spiritual part of
stuff didn't get some work and some help, it was going to sink the ship.
Because you can't be successful in anything if you're unhealthy, you know, emotionally or spiritually.
Yeah.
And I started to realize that I was, you know.
In some ways, it seems to me that some of the people we think are the least fortunate
actually have the most opportunity.
Let me try to unpack that.
Like when you're 70, wow.
Coming home by yourself and your, you know, your father had an accident.
In a weird way, life taught you at an early age that you're going to need to make it on your own.
And luckily, you were mentally capable of understanding the lesson life was trying to teach.
You know what I mean by that?
Like some people feel like they're abandoned.
You may have felt like that, but ultimately, if you didn't grow up like that, you might be right.
that, hey, I got to get here.
It's okay to be with me.
I can do it on my own since I'm doing.
Well, some people that have a good, some people that are never asked.
They don't get to go and be on their own until they're short.
Right.
And, you know, by that time, you are 13 years ahead of them with independent,
understanding the law, the jungle.
Yeah.
And, you know, you say, like, mentally,
I understood that.
And I don't know that I did mentally.
It's almost like that same, that same part of me that writes songs where you're just compelled to do it.
It's not even a mental thing that you think about.
You just know that this is something you need to address or something you need to do or something you need to put work into.
And this is where I hope your, I hope your father's listening because, because he was a big part of that.
because because his his presence at the time that it was in my life was really a crucial crossroads
and in fact i don't know if you probably don't know this and man if i get emotional i apologize
but uh he actually sat my mom down and and talked to her because she was our team mom at the time
that transition and that accident happened.
I don't know if you remember that.
No, I don't.
And she told me later that George Monty sat me down and talked to me through the
the conflict that she had because she had an obligation to me and to you and to all our friends
and she was dealing with my dad.
Yeah.
Man. So that's, that's, you know, the older and the wiser I get, the bigger of a deal, I realized that that was.
Like, that's, I don't even know how, how deep they went in the conversation or what was said, but it was enough that she told me about it.
Yeah.
And, and I know that it's enough, whether it was 10 seconds or 10 minutes or a couple hours, that.
without it, things might have been different, you know.
Because, like, I didn't, I didn't have to quit baseball when everything happened.
Like, luckily, my other, you know, family members stepped in,
make sure I got where I needed to go.
And if, and if I couldn't be there or my mom couldn't be there,
your dad knew what was up and understood, right?
Like, that's, that's a huge thing.
do you know my dad's going to call me and be like see george i told you do you know how lucky you are
george and do like a 30-minute phone call of like friends respectful george you know what i mean
well yeah yeah i mean there are there are moments like that and they're just moments and you
don't if you're not paying attention you don't realize that they could be pivotal major
you know moments where we everything happens for
a reason, I think.
Yeah.
Everything happens for a reason, but you also have the ability to make things happen
or to dictate where things go.
But there's also moments in time where opportunities present themselves for you to make
those choices.
And that's one of them.
Yeah.
Like, you know, your dad was a really big role model during that year.
whether he knew it or not, you know, for me.
That's heavy.
Dude, that's, it's mind-blowing.
I was lucky in that my parents got divorced when I was younger,
but they both were such, they both went out of their ways to,
to help create an awesome life.
My mom got remarried and she married this guy that was,
he was equally impressive and had so much stuff.
But my, my dad, he was always the coach.
And he realized this until you become older.
But, like, he gave up.
Like, we had a lot of financial problems as well.
But my dad made sure that he was at every practice.
He was the coach.
And I, like, I have so many friends that have,
I remember being little in my friends.
You're like, your dad's so awesome, George.
Your dad's so awesome.
And you're going to make me cry.
But when you tell me that story, you know what I mean?
Like, that is awesome.
And I love him.
And I didn't know that he did that for you or your family.
And I'm thankful to hear that.
That's cool.
Yeah.
It's funny.
Like, I had for, I hadn't remembered that or thought about that until, like, I think last night when you, when you, when we finally set a time and said, all right, we're doing.
You know, we've been talking about this for like a month or two.
Right.
But last night, we were like, let's just, let's do it tomorrow.
We're doing it.
Yeah.
And then I started thinking, like, last night I had that thought, wow.
Like, not, like, I remember us, we would hang out in high school with our circle of friends.
Like, every morning we'd meet up and we all have breakfast together.
Yeah.
Like, there was a, there was like a third period break where we would all hang out and have breakfast.
Right?
Yeah.
And we were, like, we thought we were cool, like old people drinking coffee.
And, like, there was like a good 10 or 12 of us.
Every morning we'd hang out and meet up for breakfast.
Yeah.
And that's the memory that, like, I have when I see your name on Facebook or whatever, or you message me or I message you, that's like the obvious memory.
Yeah.
And then last night, I thought about it.
I was like, wow.
Like, wait a minute.
Not only do I remember George from high school, like, you're one of my oldest friends.
Like, we go way, we go way further back.
We go back like first or second grade, I think.
Right?
Like, and then I thought, wow, wait, wait, we played baseball.
I mean, we all, all our friends played baseball together.
Right.
We were on the same team.
And then I've realized like, wait a minute, your dad was our coach.
And then like all, all of this hit me last night.
Yeah.
Including the, the story about him and my mom.
Yeah.
Like, I don't know if you remember, but like, I was, I was the only kid, I think, whose parents were still together.
And still alive, but only one of my parents ever came to my baseball games.
And people don't know why.
Right.
That's why.
Because my dad was, my dad was in, either in a hospital or in a rehab.
You know, that's why at that time, there were other times when he wasn't there.
And that was the whole different thing because he was, you know, he was also an alcoholic.
So, you know.
But my mom was always there, always.
Yes.
You know, and me and my dad are cool.
Like, we've, we've, I, the work that I put in allowed,
and he's put in work too, like, for sure.
But for me, the, I had to put in my own work to make peace with him.
Yeah, of course.
Because he's a dad, like, even at his worst, he, even if he didn't know how to show it,
he still loved me.
Sure.
Teenage me, I couldn't say that about him.
I couldn't say that I loved him.
And I didn't.
I never, we were not that type of family anyway.
We never said I loved you.
We never hugged.
Right.
We never did any of that stuff.
But I, I, and I'm not proud of this, but like, I was well into my 20s before I ever said, I love you to my dad.
So what we're talking about now in the past, I'm not here to, like, you know, point the finger or anything.
It's the truth.
Yeah.
That's all it is.
But I have to point those things out so that hopefully, I have to point those things out
so that hopefully through talking to friends like you or people that need to hear these things
that maybe I have something, you know, to offer them that might help them get through their stuff.
Yeah.
You know?
Absolutely.
Because again, again, going full circle, talking about how we.
got to this point where I'm living the life that I want to live and I, you know, telling you
that I had to get through certain things that I started learning in my teenage years.
And now that's my life.
My life is not music.
Music is something I do.
But my life is making life better for me and the people around me.
Like my goal now, I have music goals still.
I haven't accomplished everything I want to accomplish.
But like my goal now is to do my best that every person that I make eye contact with,
open a door for it, the grocery store or hang out with, like,
somehow I want to make everybody's life a little easier or better at the moment that I'm in,
in their vicinity.
That's beautiful.
Like, I think a better world is the only way to make the world better is to make everyone around you better.
That's the goal.
Yeah. And what you said about basically being a mirror, which we all are.
Yeah. That's what we all are.
That's that's, that's my, like that's where I'm putting more of my work.
My work is on being that person, you know.
I still spend plenty of hours, you know, making music and practicing and writing and recordings.
But I spend as many or more on the other stuff, you know.
You know, it blows my mind as I'm sitting here and we're having this conversation.
And previously we had talked about, you know, what you used to do as far as going out and traveling and the COVID kind of hit.
And then picking up this new style of music, it's organic and you're changing.
And then, you know, with the last piece you just told me about your philosophy of making the world better,
it seems like that's the direction your music is going in.
Because if that's your thought process about doing that,
that's probably going to be reflected in the upcoming music.
It makes me excited to kind of hear it.
Yeah, you know, I've always had it in there in the music.
It's been there all along,
but I feel like I'm consciously being less guarded
with how I wrap it in the music.
poetry.
You know, because you can hide things in poetry.
You can say some really heavy stuff
knowing that it's wrapped in this
wording that it's,
it's so not obvious that I don't have to be
as self-conscious about putting it out there.
Kind of hiding behind it, you know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
And I, and one of the, the only,
the only thing I always said was if I'm in a,
if I'm going to express a concern or a complaint
in a song,
there's going to be a resolution.
in the song somewhere.
Wow, that is awesome.
So,
because I don't ever want to be a complainer about anything.
Right.
And I don't ever want to be a naysayer or feel like, you know,
we're doomed.
Yeah.
With whatever the situation or whatever the, you know,
I don't know what the, I'm lost for words,
but whatever the topic is, I don't want to just,
complain or write it off and then not offer a solution.
So even in the older material, there's always a solution.
There's always some kind of resolution.
But yeah, I think the new songs are a little more obvious as far as what I'm trying
to convey.
Less poetry in the turning of phrases and more poetry and saying plainly, but musically,
what I want to say.
Yeah, it's such a powerful medium.
And, you know, when I think about communicating and I think about language, you know, so many of us, and I'm guilty of this as well, so many of us, instead of listening to what someone says, we're thinking of what to say while the other person is talking.
You're right.
And you lose so much connection.
You lose so much humanity.
You lose so much potential to solve problems when you don't give the conversation, the attention that is.
it needs.
You know, it's, it's like a dance.
It's like, okay, this person goes and this person goes and they can move together.
Here's one for you, like getting away from music to explain the music.
Talking about people you've been reading.
One of the people I've been reading and listening to is Dr. Joe Dispenza.
I don't know if you're familiar with him, but he's done a lot of work on the electrical
system and the mind and body connection and understanding that if you correlate us to like a computer
our systems can can and are constantly being programmed by our environment our thoughts our brain
like our brain is not us right it's it's this other thing that that we can choose to be controlled by or
control. So there's and there's sign Joe Despenza is the guy that's on the forefront of putting
science to the theories. So he's he's he's showing through science that the mind-body soul connection
is absolutely true. The things you say have chemical and electrical effects on your body
immediately and music being one of those so we know that our cells in our atoms and neural
everything is constantly in in motion and in regeneration you're not the same person you were
yesterday or the day before literally and figuratively right so your your programming comes from
Like you have your physical voice.
You have that voice in your head.
It's usually the one that's like very, very self-conscious.
Then you have that other voice that's like, I know that's not true, even though I think it.
You have like multiple voices.
And you have multiple consciousness, you know, levels of consciousness.
And so what he's been doing is putting scientific proof to all those things.
So we know that me having this conversation with.
with you is going to make my day better than if I had this conversation with somebody where
we were talking about things we didn't like or didn't believe it.
Right.
Even if we weren't angry or upset, we were just talking about things we don't like.
Yeah.
Our day is not, the rest of our day is not going to be as good as if you and I are talking
about the good old days.
Yeah.
Or talking about health and healing.
Yeah.
You know, like, and it might be on a minute level that you don't consciously recognize.
you might just think oh that's just you know what that's that it's out there it's BS or
whatever like but it's there it's real and so if if you're not if you're not feeling it
you're not recognizing it then maybe you're not doing it in it so if you want people to recognize
it and you want people to understand it then you've got to do it more and you've got to do it all the
time and so I have to do it through my art as well as through my conversation or my
interactions with people. You know, and I'm not, I'm not, I'm not great at it. I don't,
I don't nail it every day. Some days I make people's days worse and I'm sorry, but like,
I don't try to, right, you know, right? And so the, the, the, the, the upside for me is that
music, I'm lucky to have an audience and I'm really lucky to have a pretty good, good size
audience.
I've sold records from Japan to Australia to the UK, like all over.
Like I'm really lucky.
But I feel like maybe on some level, even though the music has always been honest and
from the heart and totally me, I feel like now I'm learning that there's still a lot
more to give.
Not just more, not just more music, but more intent in the music.
Yeah.
Like more substance, you know?
And so I'm way more conscious of it today than I was yesterday,
and I'll be more conscious of it tomorrow.
So, and it's not music necessarily with a message,
or I'm not preaching to anybody.
I'm just trying to relate to people.
You know, if the music is the food,
it's getting more and more potent with nutrients and micronutrients
and vitamins and minerals.
Right?
You know, so that every bite doesn't have to be bigger for you to get more from it.
Right.
You can take the same size bites and you're going to feel better and better, hopefully,
or relate more on a deeper level with what you're getting.
So you're getting, you know, hopefully you're getting more for your dollar, you know,
in that way.
But, yeah, man, like, again, just trying to answer your question and, like, come full circle
with these long answers, but that's my goal.
You know, the music is, is, is, is my voice.
I'm lucky that I love to do it and that I have an audience.
So thank you for, for giving me another one.
Man, I'm learning a lot.
And I, you know, it's, that is, it's truly amazing to think about language that way.
I've been sharing some ideas about language.
And it's, it's, okay, so when I think about language and music and communicating,
one part I don't like about language is like user agreements and contracts and like ambiguous language that pretends to get you out of stuff.
But, you know, like you get insurance.
They have all these things.
We're going to protect you from all this stuff unless there's an act of God.
There's always like we do words and all these words to wiggle your way out of stuff.
And wouldn't it be a better world if user agreements and contracts were written in poetry or in song?
If you had to sing the user agreement, you would have to make a structure so that it flowed together.
You know what I mean?
Well, if nothing else, people would actually read them.
You know, right?
Like, how many of us are just like, we don't have time for this?
This is ridiculous.
And the print is too small anyway.
You know, so at least people would at least probably give them more attention.
Could you have a good agreement?
If someone, if you had an artist perform the user agreement for Google or Facebook,
hey, this is our new.
People would tune in to listen to the user agreement.
You know what I mean?
You can get you can.
You know, it's funny is yesterday evening we're sitting on the beach in Moro Bay in California.
And I'm sitting there picking my guitar.
And this guy comes up and he goes,
can I join you?
And it's always like a sketchy situation.
You're like, you know, I don't know if it's like drunk,
homeless harmonica guy or like,
and that's cool too.
It's always entertaining,
but like you never know what you're getting into.
And so the guy sits down and we play and he's pretty good
and we're hanging out and he turns out to be a super cool dude.
But just to connect it to what you're talking about,
he works for Snapchat.
So maybe maybe we could get your idea.
Like bring it to life.
Dude, I'm telling you, talk to that guy.
And dude, you guys will be famous.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
You'll be playing parties.
And think about it.
If you could make this part of life that no one likes into something that people do like,
now you're really making the world a better place.
You've taken something high and weak and no one reads.
Not only would it make it more interesting,
but you would probably make it better
because you could put some sarcastic lyrics into
you've got to sign this thing, sign your life away,
or however you would word it, you know what I mean?
And that would make people actually think about what they're signing.
Or you could fundamentally change the way people see contracts
by changing the way in which they were played.
Right.
You know what I mean?
Like perceived?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thank you.
Yeah, well.
That guy, make that happen.
Yeah.
We should start a band called The Contracts.
And we'll make an album called User Agreements.
You would start your, like there's country music, rap music, and then there's, there's
contract music.
There you go.
Our own genre.
The own genre.
Yeah, that'd be awesome.
It's on a related story.
I saw, I listened to Ice Tea a while back.
And that guy is so.
I really like that guy.
He made this what seemed like an outrageous claim.
So I'll say the claim, and then I'll tell you how he explained it.
Because the claim on its face sounds crazy.
But he says, you know, rap music and country music.
And this goes back to what you said about folk music.
He's like hardcore rap music and country music are like the exact same thing.
Yeah.
You know what I've heard that quote?
Yeah.
You're like, what are you talking about?
He's like, listen, man, they're talking about their dogs, talking about their trucks, you know?
And I was like, when you step back and you look at it, both genres of music are talking about their love, their life, their, the things in there.
What you know, what you have, where you're at the place to be.
Like, it's the same substance, but just in a different dialogue, if that kind of makes sense.
You know, it's hilarious is I just, like, within the last month, read a quote from Bob Dylan.
Or, no, no, I think I saw an interview with him.
and, you know, he was always heralded as the voice of his generation.
Right.
And they asked him, well, like, you're still here, but is there a new you?
And you know what he said?
You know, he said something like, it was somebody, it was like, yeah, it's like the guys in the Wu-Tang clan.
Or, like, he named some hip-hop artists, but he named, like, the real shit, not like, you know, it wasn't like, I don't know,
whoever's on the radio or whatever, like, he went deep and he knew what he was talking about.
And he's like, that's, that's, that's the new me.
He's like, it's not, it's not another kid with a guitar and harmonica.
It's those dudes.
It's so true.
I mean, that's, that's someone who's an artist who can see himself and another artist, you know.
Yeah.
And that's, that's, like, an 83-year-old man that's, that's in tune with what's happening.
That's cool.
Like, that, that interview should be, be played all over TV.
like, we need more of that right now.
Like, here's this old guy that is an artist in one way, and he's saying, here's
these other guys.
Like, that's the wisdom of our fathers that we're missing in the community that is, I like
that interview.
I'm not to look that up.
Thanks for sharing that.
Well, and Dylan just released an album like two weeks ago.
That's great.
He's still that good.
So he's not out of touch or he's not like over the hill or like any of that stuff.
and now that I think about it, he wrote a memoir called, I think, the Chronicles.
And actually, he may have written what I just told you in that book.
It might not have been from a live interview.
So it might actually be in print in that book.
So I'd recommend reading it.
Yeah.
I'm going to write it down.
Yeah.
There's tons of cool stuff out there that helps me kind of direct.
whatever course I'm on, whether it's
musical or not, it still helps the music, you know?
Absolutely.
That's one of the things that I try to
I try to make everything count.
Like even if I go
if I go run 10 miles in the mountains,
which is something I love to do.
I love to trail run.
So, you know, if I go do that,
it's not just because I want to look better
or get skinnier or that running
helps me be the better person that helps me make the music.
Like, it's all connected.
Right.
And I do that with the conscious purpose of it.
For me, it has to cover all those bases or it's not worth doing.
You know, I could be doing something better with my time.
So, like, if I go, like, I'm probably going to do it after this.
I'm probably going to go eat and then I'm going to go probably go skateboard somewhere.
Nice.
My skateboarding has intention.
that it's adding to, I need that to get to where I need to be here or in the heart or wherever
so that I treat my girlfriend better or that I write a good song or I make a stranger's day better.
Like I don't do it.
I don't do anything just to do it.
I just make what I do count and have substance, especially skateboarding because like as a kid,
we were told how we shouldn't do it, how it was a waste of time.
Like, you know, like my skateboards would disappear from the house because they didn't want me doing it.
Right.
At least my dad didn't.
My mom was cool.
But they did.
My mom understood that it was part of the hole.
You know, I wasn't outbraith.
Even when I got arrested for doing it, I didn't get in trouble from her.
I carried that with me where I'm not going to waste my time doing things that don't make the hole better or more productive.
even if somebody thinks that what I'm doing is silly.
Yeah.
You know?
I think it's a great philosophy to live your life by,
and I think it drives home the point.
What you do sometimes, you do all the time.
And one thing that I,
one way I have seen the exact same thing in my life is that,
like, in my work,
there's a lot of guys, like, I care about everybody there.
Even the people that I fight with,
I care about him.
I want them to be better.
And there's some people that take a...
Sometimes in life, there's a lot of argumentation.
And what I try to tell people, you know,
let's say you're at work and you get into an argument.
You've got to remember that the purpose,
you know, what's the purpose of an argument?
The purpose of an argument is to solve it.
You know, we're so worried about being wrong.
You don't want to get in trouble.
You don't want to lose.
No one wants to be involved.
You develop strategies to win our problems.
Getting to solving the problem.
There's winning the argument.
So if you get really good at winning an argument,
all of a sudden you're not at work anymore.
You're at home.
How's the strategy for your family,
you're kids, your friends.
Right.
You're distancing yourself from solving problems.
You know, so I would agree that you should have intent
and try to be mindful on your daily routine,
what you're doing.
That's perfect.
And then it is part of the whole.
Yeah, I was reading a book last night, but are you familiar with Wayne Dyer?
Yeah.
Yeah, I am.
He was there in Hawaii until he passed away.
But I read basically what you just said.
Like, you need to disassociate or detach yourself from the need to be right if you want to connect with the source.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah, that's a phenomenal point.
it's impossible to to to get to that point where you feel centered and present if you have attachments
to things like being right yeah that's the fundamental tenet of buddhism is attachment right like
you right but that's one of the things like that's one of the things i picked up like i said
when i started this as a teenager is i would just grab books on all this stuff that i could find
And it started with like, you know, the Tao and Buddhism and Eastern philosophies.
Yeah.
And, you know, that's not to say those are the answers, but everybody needs to start somewhere.
And the answer is not one thing or from one source.
It's from all the sources that you can absorb and kind of mold in your being and then put back out into the world.
So if one doesn't work, try another one.
You know, if one doesn't resonate with you, try another one.
And what I found is once I found one, I would find the next one.
Yeah.
And then I find the next one.
And then sometimes the next one was one that I tried years ago and rode off is not the one.
And all that really happened was I realized at the time that I found it originally, I just wasn't ready for it.
Yeah.
So you just find your way in.
You find that first step.
and then you just keep taking steps.
Yeah.
You know?
It's poetry in motion, man.
Yeah, I hope so.
Like, it's, it works for me.
And it works for, I see it work for the people around me in the sense that when I'm present and focused and aware,
my relationships with the people around me on any given day are better, you know?
Yeah.
The people around me are in better.
moods. They're more carefree. They're more focused. You know, and it's it's not because I made
them that way. It's just I didn't, I know that I didn't, I did my part to not detract from
their presence or their energy. Yeah. You know, I can't give anybody my energy, but I can
certainly take from theirs. Great. That's easy to do. You know, just going, just going to work in a
shitty mood.
Yeah.
And you can, the whole room, you can just suck the energy right out of a room, easy.
Yeah.
But try to make one person's day better.
It's a little more complicated.
Right.
But way more rewarding.
Way more rewarding.
And way more addictive.
Yeah.
Or maybe not addictive.
Way more.
Oh, what's the word?
I'm looking for the word where like, you know, it becomes a dog.
effect. Like you
reach that one person and they reach somebody
and it multiplies.
Exponential, I think.
There you go. Yeah, there you go.
Yeah, like it becomes exponential.
And it's because you're doing it together
with the other people.
It can't be one person.
You know, one person can ruin it, but one person
can't fix it. Yeah.
But they can fix themselves.
Yeah.
You know, and that's what has to happen.
You know?
Like, you know, people are really vulnerable and very concerned and on edge right now with the way that, like, the world is.
Yeah.
But it really, the world hasn't changed all that much.
Only like.
Yeah, like the, the current events of the day are no more or less intense or scary than they were all along.
Right.
Like, I still feel in my, when I close my eyes, if I don't look in a mirror or look at myself on the, on the camera staring back at me right now, I still think I'm like 17 years old.
My body feels better than it did when I was 17, even though I was an athlete as a kid in good shape.
I'm way healthier now and in way better shape.
And when I go ride my skateboard, I have way less aches and pains.
I have none.
I have none anymore.
I have better range of motion.
Everything about me feels better and younger at 44 than it did at 17, including my mental state, emotional state.
But I guess the point is, with regards to what we're talking about, is that is there for everybody.
Like the source, the creator, the creation, whatever this life is, all of that is available to all
of us all the time and there's always more.
It's an infinite source.
And when we look at like things that are going on in the world, whether, whatever side
of the coin you're on or if there's many sides, none of it matters.
None of it.
And it's always been there.
Think of all the, the moments.
Like our parents grew up with, you know, the Vietnam War and JFK and Martin Luther
King.
We've grown up with just as many.
or more major current events than they did in a shorter time.
Yeah.
We've lived through some shit.
Yeah.
Like, so what's going on now is, is, it's only different, but it's all been, it's been there all along.
So there's no, for me, there's no excuse to not continue the work to make myself better
so that I can make somebody else's day better.
Because now's a perfect, now's a perfect, now.
a perfect time to say screw it and just go hide in the cave and most people would go would
understand and say you know what i get it i would i would do i would do that too if i could right
so if you look at it you know objectively you just you realize like for me that's not an option
that's not an excuse because nothing's really changed it really hasn't you know it's just there's
to the problems.
And, and, and, and, I don't know, this is one of those intuitive things, but as a kid, like,
I always knew, like, the answer wasn't in religion, it wasn't in politics, it wasn't in any of
that stuff that we as, as humans, that stuff's all fake.
We created that stuff.
It's real to people, and I respect that.
But in the grand scheme of things, when this earth and us and animals and, you know,
ecosystems were created, those things weren't.
Those were created by us.
Right.
Right?
I mean, yeah.
So, to get involved in those things and choose sides is really unhealthy.
The answers don't lie there.
To me, the answers lie in, you know, making your day better if I can.
Going to the grocery store and maybe opening a door for somebody.
like something as simple as that.
Like I don't have to give,
I don't have to give a homeless person money to make their day better.
You know?
And if I have some,
maybe I'll give it to them.
Most cases I probably don't.
And I'm not lying to them when I tell them I don't.
Yeah.
But I can still make their day at least a little better.
Yeah.
And people that live in,
you know,
a neighborhood with neighbors on both sides of them,
which I don't live like I don't live like that but people that do and most people do
just think about how disconnected most people are from their neighbors yeah I know that they are
because when I go to visit friends or family that have that lifestyle they've lived next you know
they've lived next door to the same people for years or decades and they don't know anything
about them it's tragic yeah so like how how is that how is that how
is that issue not more important than a political issue that involves a few chosen people
in a different world that don't listen to us anyway, right?
Like we would be way more effective, in my opinion, as a society if we just treated everybody
that we come in contact with better, right?
So, you know, none of what's going on outside of a – of – of – of – of – of –
my bubble, it doesn't affect me until it affects me.
And so worrying about it puts the concept of time to it, which puts it basically in the
future, which means I, you know, stress comes from worrying about the future.
Right.
If I just sit here now with you and look around what, there's no worries.
There's no, there's no stress.
There's no sickness.
You know.
and if I think if we go back and talk about the past in the context that you and I are talking about it that's one thing but if I go back to the past and all I do is think about it in the sense of remembering those emotions and those feelings from from growing up at that time in those circumstances then I'd be really miserable right now yeah you know time time goes with religion in politics for me
It's made up.
It's not real, right?
You know, months, weeks, days of the month, that's not real.
There's not a calendar on the sun or the moon that was created with us.
That was our doing.
And so that that concept of time is unhealthy for me.
You know, if it's something that other people need or crave or whatever, that's cool.
Like, I can still be their friend.
if somebody is a
as a political supporter
on any side
and I don't
associate or agree or any
or whatever
or even if I disagree with him
I can still be their friend
I can still make their day better
right
I can still be a source of
something productive
or
you know
nutritious
you know to their life
so
I guess, you know, that's my focus right now in life.
And I foresee it being only, I foresee that only becoming more important to me.
And, you know, and if I can help somebody along the way, then, then, you know, I feel like I'm doing something.
I'm doing something right because I feel that I am, not because there's a scoreboard somewhere, you know?
Yeah, I heard a story one time about, gosh, this was the, I forgot his name.
He's like the winningest basketball coach of all time in college.
John Wooden.
John Wooden.
Okay.
I played basketball, so I learned my history about that, too.
Okay, so John Wooden, you know, he, I read his biography.
And in his biography, he says, they talk about.
winning in life and such. And they, they asked John Wooden, like, what, what is it? Like,
what do you teach these kids? You've won, you know, 11 out of 13, seven in a row. The next
closest person is won, like, three or four. What, what is it? He gave the speech, and what he
says is, here's what I tell the kids. There's a real simple thing I want all you kids to know.
At the end of the day, only you will truly know whether you won or lost out there.
It won't be based on the points on the board. Because you can go out.
out there and you can play the best game of your life, you know, and if if you have less
points on the scoreboard, but you gave your all, then you get to walk away the winner because
you got out of yourself, you know, and on the flip side of that, if you go out there and you
just kind of lolly gag and you don't play your best and you still win, then you're a loser.
You know what I mean?
You gave up.
You didn't get out of yourself.
You failed to get out of yourself.
The hook was in life, what you give, you get to keep.
But what you fail to give, you lose.
Yep.
You know, it's profound, man.
Yeah.
And go back to your old man, like, he was one of the few that didn't, it wasn't a big
deal how good we were, right?
Like, it didn't matter if we were good baseball players or a good baseball team.
if we won or lost.
He treated us with respect and care no matter what.
And I played baseball from T-ball, like four years old, all the way up to high school.
And your dad and one other coach, those are the only two I can say that about.
Out of, you know, what?
Between coaches and assistant coaches?
Right.
15, 20 dudes?
Easy.
There were plenty of episodes where you saw parents and coaches cursing and throwing fits in front of the kids and the parents.
Yeah.
Or do you ever remember seeing kids get pulled off the field by their angry parents because they hated the coach during games?
Yeah, I remember.
In front of everybody and the shame that those kids had to go through.
Yep.
And they were good kids.
Yeah.
You know.
And their parents were just so misguided.
So yeah, credit again, your old man.
Yeah, he really preached mental toughness, you know, he all the time is like, listen, you can't, he's all in here, George.
You know, what you put in, what you put in life, you're going to get out of it.
Mm-hmm.
Whatever it is you do, do it your style.
Don't worry about that stuff.
And he's like, you can't lose.
All you can do is get better.
Right.
You know, the goal of life is to be defeated by ever bigger thing.
Right.
But yeah, you know, it's, it's an interesting relationship.
And I, you know, as two young men, having similar, you know, having similar things,
I think all young men, you get to a point where you have to fight your dad.
Not 50, but you have to mentally, like, that's why you challenge your dad.
That's why you're, you don't want to, why you hate them.
Like, you get to this point where you got to beat them.
So that, and when you get older, you learn that you were fighting, but your dad was never fighting.
You know what I mean?
It would teach you.
And like, yeah.
Yeah.
Because you don't realize until you get older.
And hopefully your parents are still around when you get older.
And then you can actually get to meet your parents on a level that is not, you know, father's son.
There's just people.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like I said earlier, like, you know, if you want to talk on a parenting level at a child's level, I don't have a lot of nice things to say.
But, but.
having made peace and getting to where I am now, like the things that I've learned about how
my parents grew up, especially my dad, he had it way worse than he ever gave it to me.
And I got it pretty bad.
Right.
And so now that we're cool, we're, like, we're buddies.
Like, I love him.
He's awesome.
But, like, now, like, the things he...
Here's one.
And before I say this, here's something I'll put out there, and I hope not to, if he's watching, I hope not to embarrass him.
But he grew up as an alcoholic.
I mean, and he is admitted to me, like, he was already full-blown, you know, when we were in, like, six, seventh grade, and we were skateboarding.
And we were probably doing some stuff that adults do, right?
I mean, I was.
Guaranteed.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But we, we, at least me, I know some of our friends weren't so lucky.
but I never had a problem with it.
I never got in trouble for it.
It was something, it was fun.
I know that my old man, by the time he was in seventh grade,
somewhere in that age, like 11, 12 years old,
was already a full-blown alcoholic, like a habitual alcoholic.
So I also know now that they say that people that live through alcoholism,
it kind of stunts their growth.
it's true so if you're an alcoholic by 12 13 years old and you're 50 years old or 60 years old
on some or many levels you're still only 12 or 13 years old yeah so when I say my dad in some
ways is still like a 12 or 13 year old at like 64 65 years old I don't mean that in a derogatory
way what I'm saying is I've gotten to the point where I can recognize and have empathy
and also relate to him because we've gotten past the problem stage.
He's sober.
And so we can actually communicate.
And we never could communicate when I was young because we were fighting.
Right.
You know?
So what you're saying about like, you know, fighting your parents and going through
that whole thing, everybody pretty much does.
You have to.
I know now that, well, I know now that you actually.
you don't have to. But you, but chances are you probably going to. Right, right. Unless,
unless, unless you're lucky enough to find the path that, you know, I started finding it when I was like
16, 17, and I'm still learning how to follow it and stay on it. So it's not an overnight thing. For
me, it was not overnight. It wasn't easy. But there's some people out there that they might find it
when they're eight or nine years old,
and they might never have to be off of it,
and God bless them, good for them.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And so if you're one of the people that doesn't find it early,
or you find it early and you feel like,
you feel like you found it and were on it and you failed,
get back on it.
It's,
it's don't,
if you find that you fail,
you're not a failure.
Yeah.
So,
you know,
there was a point where I went from being like a young,
happy, talkative kid to somebody that didn't like people and wouldn't talk to anybody for a long
time. And so I feel like I'm getting back to being that kid where I can be anybody and everybody's friend.
Right. And somewhere in those high school years and all through, you know, through a good portion of my
early 20s and 30s, that wasn't true anymore. Even as a person in the public, I don't,
of some sort as a musician,
I was never dishonest on stage or in my music,
but I also didn't give any more than I had to
when it came time to get off stage and interact with people.
You know, I really shortchanged a lot of people on a level
where I wasn't mean or, you know, rude or any,
maybe to some people they thought I was,
but I was really just not connecting and not.
not, you know, making,
not making that personal contact with people.
Right.
And that was just, that was just, you know, the scars or the pre-programming that happened
that as I figured it out, I started to address it.
And now I'm getting back to where, like, I can just walk up to any old stranger
and make conversation and not feel weird.
Right.
and feel like even after spending just 30 seconds with somebody,
like being able to sense who they are and I can call them a friend.
Yeah.
Even if I don't ever talk to them again, you know.
So like coming to come full circle with the interview and talking with you.
Yeah.
I'm trying to be my five-year-old self with regards to like how I handle the world around me
and the people around me.
Because when I was that age,
you know,
I used to get in trouble in school
for being too friendly
and talking too much.
Whereas later in my,
in my school years,
I used to get in trouble
for not engaging enough
and not interacting enough
and not participating.
Right.
Because a lot of that was just like,
you know,
it was beaten out of me
in one way or another.
Yeah.
Whether it was verbally or physically or whatever,
like it was just,
it was just you know it got to the point where i was starting to break and luck luckily i don't
think i ever fully broke but i got close enough and in my mom recognized it soon enough that i
was able to you know because intuitively we all know if if we're not giving our best we all know
if if we are not truly happy right we all know yeah that's why that's why people turn to drugs in
alcohol and the people that are on it talk all that noise about oh you're just a square you're not
you're not having fun they know the truth right they know that they're doing it because they're
not having fun to put it plain and simple i'm trying to be my five-year-old self and be childlike at 44
where i want to be a shining light to people i know and love and to strangers and that's it
It's simple.
Once you figure it out, you realize how simple it was and how it was only difficult to get there because I made it difficult.
Right.
Yeah.
It seems like on some level you'd have to be broken so you can be built.
Yeah.
And the trick is to, you know, one of the things I had to learn was forgiveness.
And one of the things I didn't know that I had to learn was forgiving myself.
Wow.
Because at the time, I was like, I have every right to be angry.
I didn't do anything wrong.
And I was right.
But all that anger only hurt me.
It didn't hurt anybody else.
Yeah.
You know, unless I acted on it, then it did.
Yeah, it's like, what do they say about, like, anger?
It's like swallowing a poison pill.
Like, you're going to take the poison when you want to hurt somebody else.
I forgot how the quote goes.
It's way more elegant.
Yeah.
There's a comedian that made good light of it, too.
That's hilarious on all.
try to find that and send it to you.
Yeah.
But, yeah, so I feel like we could do a few versions or a few volumes of these.
Yeah, absolutely.
Absolutely.
Next, maybe at some point in time we'll have you bring your guitar down and you can bang out a song or something.
Yeah.
My battery is about to die, so I don't even think I'll have time to do that now.
But let's do some more if people are digging it.
Yeah, you know what, man.
I love you, buddy.
It's super awesome to talk to you.
Thank you for spending time with all of us today.
And we'll do it again soon, man.
And I'll touch base with you a little bit later today and go over some editing and stuff.
Right on.
I love you too, man.
