TrueLife - The Terry Tucker Story - Discipline = Freedom

Episode Date: January 17, 2021

One on One Video Call W/George https://tidycal.com/georgepmonty/60-minute-meetingSupport the show:https://www.paypal.me/Truelifepodcast?locale.x=en_US🚨🚨Curious about the future of psychedelics? Imagine if Alan Watts started a secret society with Ram Dass and Hunter S. Thompson… now open the door. Use Promocode TRUELIFE for Get 25% off monthly or 30% off the annual plan For the first yearhttps://www.district216.com/https://www.motivationalcheck.com/https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08GLGVTVSTranscript:https://app.podscribe.ai/episode/60693892Speaker 0 (0s): <inaudible> of my friends. Speaker 1 (22s): Terry can I tell you a good morning? And I hope you're having a great day. Speaker 2 (27s): I am George. Thank you. I appreciate you getting up at this hour in the morning to talk with us, Speaker 1 (32s): Man. For those of you that don't know, my friend Terry here is an amazing man. He is someone that I've read his story. And while I can tell everybody listening Terry story, Terry, I would like to turn it over to you and my friend. And can you tell us, I was hoping maybe you can start with something about a little something similar to the Monday motivational moment, and then tell us a little bit about yourself. Speaker 2 (59s): Sure. I, you know, it's funny cause I've, I've taken the Monday morning V a C for AMS. You can even say it it's a great alliteration, but you can't talk about the Monday morning. Motivational message was always, when I started, it was a, what was kind of a Story where people can read it and, and I've kind of gotten now into doing videos with people, you know, were, were kind of life lessons, animated things to stuff like that, because I think, you know, the visual part of it is, is so important to people. So I it's funny because years ago, I, I mean probably 25 years ago, there was a radio station in Santa Barbara, California when we lived out there and they had the Monday morning motivational message. And that's, that's really where I got that from and in that. So, so that's kinda kind of the message, you know, so you kind of got to go to my site, motivational check.com and, and every Monday morning I'll have either a video or a story or something like that out there for ya. So a little bit about me I'm I was born and raised in Chicago. I'm the oldest of three boys. I'm six foot eight and I played college basketball at the Citadel. I've got a brother who's six foot seven that pitched for Notre Dame. And then I have another brother who's six foot six who was drafted by the Cleveland Cavaliers in 1983. And then my dad was six with five. So if you sat behind our family and church, when we were growing up, you weren't going to see a thing that was going on there. So athletics specifically basketball is an important part of my life growing up. And I attended college at the Citadel in Charleston, South Carolina, on a basketball scholarship, despite having three knee surgeries in high school. When I graduated from college, I moved home to find a job. This was old. So this was a log before the internet. I was in the first person in my family to graduate from college. And I was all, you know, set to make my Mark on the world with my newly obtained business administration degree. And I quickly realized, I didn't know a damn thing about business, you know, so I was fortunate to find that first job I worked in the corporate office of a Wendy's international, the hamburger chain in Dublin, Ohio and the marketing department. But I also ended up unfortunately, living with my parents for the next three and a half years is I helped my mother and my grandmother, or I helped my mother care for my grandmother and my father who were both dying of different forms of cancer. And then finally my wife and I had been married for 27 years. We have a daughter who's a graduate and the United States air force Academy, and as a Lieutenant in the, a newly formed space force. And that's pretty much a me in a nutshell, Speaker 1 (3m 43s): It's interesting. It's M in, in a way, it's the Story of all of us. It's the story of, you know, you live in your life and it's a story of taking chances and, and making the most out of what you can out of life. And is it fair to say Terry that along the way in your life, you've met with a little bit of a constraint, is that fair to say, Speaker 2 (4m 10s): So are you sending me off there at George? I I'd say that's a fair to say. Speaker 1 (4m 14s): Nice. Can you tell the people a little bit about maybe to define what you think a challenge is? And then maybe you, could you explain to some of the people that maybe the challenges that you have been through along the way? Speaker 2 (4m 27s): I, I think it's a challenge. I don't know if I can give you a good definition of a challenge that I can probably describe to you what, what I think a challenge is, but I mean, it's certainly something that, that you're faced with, at least in my circumstances, that, that you're not sure that you've got what it takes to, to deal with or, or to overcome. And that's certainly happened to me in, in early 2012, when I was diagnosed with a rare form of melanoma that presented on the bottom of my left foot. By the time the cancer was detected, it had metastasized to a lymph node in my groin. And because my cancer is so rare, you know, you, you learn more about this crap, then you, are you ever want to learn? You know what I mean? We all think of melanoma as a, you know, a mole or, you know, a dark spot on our skin. Well, and that's the vast majority. And then there's a second time that is similar to what I or not similar. It is what I have, which is melanoma that appears on the bottom of your feet or the palms of your hands. And then there's even a third type of melanoma that appears in the mucus membrane. So when your nose or your mouth or something like that, I didn't know any of that stuff. When I, when I first started and I didn't, I didn't really know anything about melanoma itself. And like I said, I'm old enough to remember that when we had acne, as kids, we were taken the dermatologist and put under a sunlamp, you know, that's how we treated. They didn't realize how bad that was for you. So anyways, so I, I got this rare form of, of, of melanoma for about 6,500 people in the United States are diagnosed with it every year. And so it was recommended that I be treated at the world renowned MD Anderson cancer center in Houston. I want you to know your audience to understand that the one I'm going to describe to you is what I experienced during my cancer journey. I realize that there are thousands and thousands of people out there who are suffering terribly with their diseases, whether those be mental or physical diseases. And I make no claims to have the market cornered on suffering. But one thing I've certainly learned during my cancer journey is that suffering is one of life's greatest teachers. So at MD Anderson, I had two surgeries to remove the lymph nodes, to remove the tumor and the lymph nodes in my groin. And then I had a skin graph to close the wound a on the bottom of my foot. And after I healed, I was put on a weekly injection of a drug called interferon to help keep the disease from coming back to my oncologist use to describe it as kicking t...

Darkness struck, a gut-punched theft, Sun ripped away, her health bereft. I roar at the void. This ain't just fate, a cosmic scam I spit my hate. The games rigged tight, shadows deal, blood on their hands, I'll never kneel. Yet in the rage, a crack ignites, occulted sparks cut through the nights. The scars my key, hermetic and stark. To see, to rise, I hunt in the dark, fumbling, fear. Hears through ruins maze, lights my war cry, born from the blaze.

The poem is Angels with Rifles. The track, I Am Sorrow, I Am Lust by Codex Serafini. Check out the entire song at the end of the cast. Perfect, my friend. Terry, can I tell you good morning, and I hope you're having a great day. I am, George. Thank you. I appreciate you getting up at this hour.

in the morning to talk with us. Man, for those of you that don't know, my friend Terry here is an amazing man. He is someone that I have read his story. And while I could tell everybody, listen in Terry's story, Terry, I would like to turn it over to you, my friend. And can you tell us, I was hoping maybe you could start with something about a little, something similar to the Monday motivational moment and then tell us a little bit about yourself? Sure. You know, it's funny because I've taken the Monday morning, see, 4Ms, you can't even say it. It's great alliteration, but you can't talk. The Monday morning motivational message was always, when I started it, was a, was kind of a story where people could read it. And I've kind of gotten now into doing videos with people, you know, where kind of life lessons, animated,

things and stuff like that because I think, you know, the visual part of it is is so important to people. So it's funny because years ago, I mean, probably 25 years ago, there was a radio station in Santa Barbara, California when we lived out there. And they had the Monday morning motivational message. And that's really where I got that from. And so, so that's kind of, kind of the message. You know, so you kind of got to go to my site, motivational check.com. And And every Monday morning, I'll have either a video or a story or something like that out there for you. So a little bit about me. I was born and raised in Chicago.

I'm the oldest of three boys. I'm six foot eight. And I played college basketball at the Citadel. I've got a brother who's six foot seven that pitched for Notre Dame. And then I have another brother who's six foot six who was drafted by the Cleveland Cavaliers in 1983. And then my dad was six foot five. So if you sat behind our family and church when we were growing up, you weren't going to see a thing that was going on there. So athletics, specifically basketball was an important part of my life growing up.

And I attended college at the Citadel in Charleston, South Carolina, on a basketball scholarship, despite having three knee surgeries in high school. When I graduated from college, I moved home to find a job. This was, I'm old. So this was long before the internet. I was the first person in my family to graduate from college, and I was all set to make my mark on the world with my newly obtained business administration degree. And I quickly realized I didn't know a damn thing about business, you know. So I was fortunate to find that first job. I worked in the corporate office of Wendy's International, the hamburger chain in Dublin, Ohio, in their marketing department.

But I also ended up, unfortunately, living with my parents for the next three and a half years as I helped. my mother and my grandmother, or I help my mother care for my grandmother or my father, who were both dying of different forms of cancer. And then finally, my wife and I have been married for 27 years. We have a daughter who's a graduate of the United States Air Force Academy and as a lieutenant in the newly formed Space Force. And that's pretty much me in a nutshell. It's interesting. It's, in a way, it's the story of all of us. It's the story. It's the story. of, you know, live in your life. And it's a story of taking chances and making the most out of what you can out of life.

And is it fair to say, Terry, that along the way in your life you've met with a little bit of constraints? Is that fair to say? Are you setting me up there, George? I'd say that's fair to say. Nice. Can you tell the people a little bit about maybe define what? you think a challenge is. And then maybe could you explain to some of the people,

maybe the challenges that you have been through along the way? I think a challenge, I don't know if I can give you a good definition of a challenge. I can probably describe to you what what I think a challenge is. But I mean, it's certainly something that you're faced with, at least in my circumstances, that you're not sure that you've got what it takes to deal with or to overcome. And that certainly happened to me in early 2012 when I was diagnosed with a rare form of melanoma that presented on the bottom of my left foot. By the time the cancer was detected, it had metastasized to a lymph node in my groin.

And because my cancer is so rare, you know, you learn more about this crap than you ever wanted to learn. You know, I mean, we all think a melanoma as a, you know, a mole or, you know, a dark spot on our skin. well, that's the vast majority. And then there's a second type that is similar to what I, or not similar, it is what I had, which is melanoma that appears on the bottom of your feet or the palms of your hands. And then there's even a third type of melanoma that appears in the mucus membrane, so in your nose or your mouth or something like that.

I didn't know any of that stuff when I first started. And I didn't really know anything about melanoma itself. And like I said, I'm old enough to. remember that when we had acne as kids, we were taking the dermatologist and put under a sunland. You know, that's how they treated it. They didn't realize how bad that was for you. So anyway, so I've got this rare form of melanoma. About 6,500 people in the United States are diagnosed with it every year. And so it was recommended that I be treated at the world-renowned MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston. I want your audience to understand that what I'm going to

describe you is what I experienced during my cancer journey. I realize there are thousands and thousands of people out there who are suffering terribly with their diseases, whether those be mental or physical diseases. And I make no claims to have the market cornered on suffering. But one thing I've certainly learned during my cancer journey is that suffering is one of life's greatest teachers. So at MD Anderson, I had two surgeries to remove the lymph nodes, to remove the tumor and the lymph nodes in my groin. And then I had a skin graft. to close the wound on the bottom of my foot. And after I healed, I was put on a weekly injection of a drug called interferon to help keep the disease from coming back. My oncologist used to describe it as

kicking in the can down the road. Now, interferon for me was a horrible, nasty, debilitating drug. And I took those weekly interferon injections for four years and seven months before the medication became so toxic to my body that I ended up in the intense. intensive care unit with a fever of 108 degrees, which usually isn't compatible with being alive. But I was fortunately at a level one trauma center and they were able to stabilize me. So I was on this interviewer on, like I said, for four years and seven months. And it gave me severe flu-like symptoms. I mean, we've all had the flu.

I imagine having the flu every week for almost five years. I lost 50 pounds during my therapy. I used to joke to my wife that I was pretty sure I was so skinny that I could go hang gliding on a Dorito, you know. You kind of had to laugh at this stuff because if you don't, it makes you cry. You know, so I was constantly nauseous, fatigued, and chilled, my ability to taste food diminished and my body continually ached. And this misery went on for over 1,660 days.

And one thing I learned during all my pain and suffering is that you have two choices. You can succumb the debilitating discomfort and misery. or you can learn to embrace it and make you a stronger human being. And I chose the latter. And, you know, I wish I could say that this was a feel-good story, you know, that I had conquered my cancer. But unfortunately, it is the melanoma that had plagued me since 2012, returned in 2017.

And eventually my only treatment option was the amputation of most of my left foot, which occurred in January of 2018. And then it returned again in 2000. 2019 requiring two additional surgeries. And then in 2020, an undiagnosed tumor in my ankle fractured my tibia or my shin bone. And that led to the amputation of my leg above the knee. And then further testing revealed that I have multiple tumors in my lungs. And I've been on a chemotherapy regimen, most recently a clinical trial to try to address those tumors. But my oncologist is not exactly optimistic about my future longevity.

Wow. It's hang gliding on a Dorito. Yeah. I was pretty sure I was skinny enough I could do that. You know, it's, it always amazes me to talk to somebody who's been through things that would make a lot of people unable to get up in the morning, or it would make a lot of people take it out on other people they care about. And, you know, I have this theory about life.

And it's that when horrible things happen to us, you don't get to choose in life what happens to you, but you and you alone get to choose the meaning of that event. And it seems to me that what the force of nature or God or whatever divine being people believe in is testing us. And it seems to me that when you go through an event like that you went through, you know, you know, let me try to say it this way. Some people say that people who are blind, that their other senses make up for them. Or if you lose a sense, your other sense become heightened. And it seems to me that when you go through tragedy, while part of you inside may die, something grows in that spot.

And something begins to grow that makes you better than you were. And when I talk to you, when I listen to you and I hear these things that sound like these tragedies, and they are tragedies, it seems to me that you have found something to grow in those spots to make your life better. Is there a strategy that you've used to do that? Or do you agree with that? Or how do you feel about that? I do agree with you. I mean, I look back on my life, when I was a little kid, I was deathfully afraid of doctors. I mean, it was when my mom was taking me to pediatrician to have a vaccine or something like that, and I knew that that was coming.

You know, this was long before key fobs were available on cars and stuff like that. I'd wait until my mom got out of the car and then I'd lock all the doors from the inside. You know, so she'd have to go get the pediatrician and they'd have to, you know, play this cat and mouse game until they finally extracted me from the car. I mean, that's how deathly afraid I was of doctors.

And then here I am presented with, you know, all these surgeries and these amputations. And I joke with my orthopedic doctor. I said, you know, you're piecemealing me to hell one body part at a time. You know, here's a foot. Here's a leg. Here's kind of, you know, so I do understand where you're coming from. And I guess from me, from my perspective, you know, you're right.

You kind of got two choices. You're like, you know what? Oh, I've got this. Woe is me. You know, life sucks. You know, God did this to me and all that kind of stuff. I never blamed God. I never blamed my circumstances.

I never, super. Good morning, young lady. How are you? I think she's going to my kids about being in the car. Oh. She might be locking herself in there. Yeah, I won't say these things so that she gets any IT for you and stuff like that. But, but yeah. So, I mean, I, I've always been very religious, spiritual. You know, growing up, God's been important to me. I probably spend an hour a day praying.

not so much for me, but for other people, because I've really connected with a lot of people who are in dire circumstances. You always kind of look at it and say, gee, yeah, my life sucks. Well, you don't have to look too far to find somebody whose life sucks a whole lot worse than yours. But I guess, you know, probably to answer your question, I have a posted note on my desk, and I'm looking at it right now, and it has three sentences on it. And here are the sentences.

And I use this every day to get me stronger, to get me more motivated. And the first one is, you need to control your mind or it will control you. The second one is you need to embrace your pain and suffering and use it to make you a stronger and more determined individual. And the third one is, as long as you don't quit, you can never be defeated. And I found a way to take all this pain, to take all this misery, and to turn it inside and use it as motivation, as fuel, as energy, whatever you want to say to keep going. And so, and people ask, well, how do you do that? I don't know. I just, I just did. I refuse to be a

victim to this malignancy, you know? And so it's like, you know what? I'm going to turn this crap inside. I'm going to burn it as fuel and it's going to make me stronger and tougher. Yeah, it's, it's really something. And, I really think that that is the, you know, one of my favorite authors is this guy, Joseph Campbell. And Joseph Campbell is a gentleman that speaks a lot about mythology. And anybody who's ever seen the Star Wars movie, you know Joseph Campbell, because that is the hero's journey. That is the journey of a man comes into the world. He is introduced to the ordinary world.

He receives the call to adventure. and then he's reluctant to the call. He refuses the call. He meets a mentor and then he crosses the threshold into life. And I think that that's what the world, life, and God is trying to teach each and every one of us. It's like, listen, you're going to play all these roles. You're going to be the hero. You're going to be the mentor.

And your life is destined for greatness if you just allow it to happen to you and then seize the bull by the horns and make the best of that situation. It also reminds me of another one of my favorite characters who you may have a cool story about, Doc Holiday. I do. Would you be so kind as to share that story with these beautiful people listening? Absolutely. So I've always been a huge fan of Westerns. You know, growing up, my mom and dad used to let me stay up and watch, you know, gun smoke or Maverick.

Or my favorite was Wild Wild West, you know, Jim West. Love that. Love staying up and watching that. And in 1993, the movie Tombstone came out. And it starred Kurt Russell as Wyatt Earp and Val Kilmer as John Doc Holliday. And these two men were best of friends, but could not have been more diverse in their backgrounds. I mean, Wyatt was a lawman in his life. And Doc, why they called him Doc because he was a dentist by trade, but he was pretty much a gunslinger and a card shark.

And that's what he what he was. So at the very end of the movie Tombstone, Doc is dying in a sanitarium in Glenwood Springs, Colorado. And Doc Holliday, and let me back up a little bit. Doc Holliday and Wyatt Earp were two living, breathing human beings that walked on the face of the earth. They are not made up characters for the movie. So fast forward to the end of the movie, Doc is dying in the sanitarium in Glenwood Springs, Colorado. And Doc Holliday did die in that sanitarium, and he's buried in the Glenwood Springs Colorado Cemetery. And one of my bucket list things is to go out there and see his grave.

I don't know why I want to do that, but I do want to do that. So at the end of this movie, Wyatt is destitute. He has no money. He has no job. He has no prospects for a job. So he comes every day to visit Doc, and the two men play cards to pass the time. And in this scene, they're talking about what they want out of life. And Doc says, you know, I was in love with my cousin when I was younger and she joined a convent over the affair.

And she's all that I ever wanted. And he looks at Wyatt and he says, what about you? Why? What do you want? And Wyatt says, I just want to lead a normal life. And Doc looks at him and says, there's no normal. There's just life. And get on with living yours.

And I think that was one of the greatest lines from a movie that I ever heard. You know, what I like to not have cancer, oh my God, you have no idea how much I would give for that. But you know what? These are the cards that I've been dealt. And because of that, I've got to play them. I don't have a choice to say, you know, I can opt out of this. And I guess I do, but that's never been who I am. I've never quit anything in my life.

And I'm going through a clinical trial now. It's a very hard trial in my body. I take a drug for every day for a week. and I shake and I throw up and I do all kinds of things. And I remember a nurse came in one day and she said, Terry, nobody would blame you if you quit this drug. And I looked at her and I said, you know, they may take me off the study or I may die on it, but I'm not quitting.

I've never quit anything in my life. So, you know, I kind of, I like that Doc holiday and that Wyatt Earp exchange because to me, you know, we're all living our lives. And it's like you said, it depends on how well do you want to live? live it. I mean, we all know people that when I call, they're dead. They go through life every day. They're doing the same thing. They're not growing. They're not maturing. And, you know, they're really dead. They just haven't fallen over yet. And those people bug me more than anything. You know, I just kind of like, just get away from me. I don't want you in my life. I don't want you part of my life.

Your negative energy that just sucks life out of me. So, you know, from my perspective, it's like, let's go. Let's do this stuff. And if we go down, try and, And you know what? I can live with that. Death has never scared me. As a matter of fact, I'm almost excited about it. God, this is, I'm probably going to have every psychiatrist in the United States going after me after this. But it almost excites me to see what's on the other side of this, you know, because I don't think this is it.

I just in my heart, I mean, when you look at this country and I've lived all over the United States, it's too beautiful. It's too great. It's too grandiose to say that, oh, this just happened. No, I don't think so. You know, there's something else bigger than us involved in this, and I kind of like to see what that bigger thing is. To me, it's God, but I want to see what's on the other side,

because I just don't think, well, one day I'm going to drop dead, and that's going to be the end of it. Yeah, I agree. That which was never born can never die. And it seems to me it's almost like a metamorphosis, like the same way a caterpillar becomes a butterfly. so do you and I move on to a more beautiful becoming of ourselves. And, you know, I really think that, like, I like to listen to classical music and regular music.

And I like to read a lot. And for example, when I read Joseph Campbell, like, you know, I have all these books in my bookshelf. And all these people, like, they may no longer be with us, but they didn't die because I can read them. And when I read them or I listen to them, it's like I get to become part of them or inspired by them. And what you're doing right now, Terry, like you can, you may move on from this part of earth as we know it, but you will never die. Because from now on, you live within me. Like every time I tell people about adventure or overcoming difficult situations or when I talk to my daughter whom you just saw, like she knows your name. She knows the stuff you've been through.

Even though I haven't met you and given you a hug or shook your hand, like you live right here in my heart. And you can't die. As long as I'm alive, you're alive. As long as my daughter's alive, you're alive. And I think that is another beautiful part of life is that we're only here. We're only here for a tiny little bit. And it's so important for us to share our stories, to fail as much as we can so we can learn as much as we can. So when we move forward, we have that experience.

And another point that I wanted to bring up is, you know, you have this, you have had some traumatic effects where you have, quote unquote, cancer. But the cancer you have is nowhere as debilitating as the cancer known as a negative attitude. And I don't understand, like, and I think those things cross over. If you look at the treatments you went through, like, there's treatments for that. But there's almost nothing worse than someone who has this negative attitude because that's like themselves giving themselves cancer. It's like can't is the cancer of can. And people that have that attitude, whether it's learned helplessness or maybe they've been in a situation in life where they have been taught that they can't move forward or I always think of the dog on a chain. Have you guys ever, I'm a UPS driver.

So sometimes I'm walking around carrying packages and here comes this dog on a chain. running full speed and then he gets to the end of his chain and smack he stops. And a while back I was, there was this house that always had a big dog. He'd run to his chain and stop. And one day, I was like, he ran, he was coming towards me and I go, he's on a chain. No big deal. But this time he wasn't on a chain. But sure enough, that dog got to the same spot he got to every day and he just stopped.

He no longer had the chain, but he stopped anyway. And I think it's a good metaphor for what we have in our life. the things we've been through, the situations we've been through, the people that have molded us have shaped us in a way where we get to a point where we just stop. And it's similar to people who have that cancer of, oh, I can't make this happen? Or, oh, can I tell you what happened to me or constantly feeling sorry for themselves? And I'm just thankful and I'm inspired by hearing what you have to say. And it helps me want to help those people who have that attitude.

And, you know, there's a, I think we have another thing in common in that when I was a little boy, my grandfather had a trucking company and he, his trucking company was out on the Indian reservation. And I got to see the Indian reservation in California, this place called Paula. It's got a huge casino on it now. And it's so different than when I was a young boy and running around and playing and stuff. And I remember meeting two girls from there when I was older. And, you know, they were my age. So they had been through life on an Indian reservation with no money. And then the casino came in and then these girls started getting 10 grand a month.

One of these girls became an actress. She bought some real estate, some property. She did really well for herself. And her sister, she turned to a life of excess, if that makes sense, because she had all this money now. And, you know, I remember talking to them and they were telling me a story about one of their uncles who had told the girls, you know, this casino and this money is going to do to us what the white man never did to us. And, you know, it was an interesting story to think about, but I believe you also have an interesting story. I think it's about the Blackfoot Nation that maybe you might want to share. And I'm hopeful that you will share with our audience, the North American Blackfoot.

Indians? Yeah, there's a saying that I really enjoy that I heard years ago, and I wish I remember where I heard it, but it's always resonated with me. And it was from the Native American Blackfoot people. And it went like this. It said, when you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life in such a way so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice. And I think that is, you know, it's two quick little sentences, but it's, there's so much of a punch that that's, that's, that is packed within that. You know, and I look back, I, we were talking about quotes and stuff like that. There's a quote from, from Mark Twain that, that I heard years ago that said, you know, I loved English and I was, I excelled in English. I don't know why, because I can barely talk these days, but I excelled in English when when I was in high school and, and, and, you know, I was, I was in English. And, and I was, I was, I was in English. And I was, and I was college and I love to write and I love to read and I still do. But this quote from Twain I thought was one of the greatest too. And it went like this.

It said, the two most important days of our lives are the day we're born and the day we figure out why. And when I talk to groups, a lot of times I'll ask them, you know, do you have any idea why you're here, why you were put on this earth? Why did God put you here?

And sometimes I'll even take that a step further. with them and ask them, do you know why you were born at this time? You know, why weren't you born 5,000 years ago or, you know, 50,000 years in the future? There's a reason that we were all born. And to me, that reason involves finding and living whatever our purpose is. I believe that we're all destined to live uncommon and extraordinary lives. And that has absolutely nothing to do with the kind of job we have, how much money we make, what kind of house we live in, nothing like that. We're not all born with the same gifts and talents, but we all have the ability to become the best person that we're capable of becoming.

And this goes back to something you were saying a minute ago. The problem is that most people take an unintentional approach to living. And by living that casual, so to speak, life, their dreams, their goals, their aspirations, whatever you want to call it, they become a casualty of that unplanned living. And during the eight years that I've been battling cancer, almost nine years now, I've had plenty of time to think about my own death. And after I die, I can't imagine standing in the presence of our creator, whoever or whatever you believe that entity to be, and being unable to account for the gifts and the talents that I was born with and that I never used to make his or her world a better place. being a cop for a number of years and certainly, you know, having met a lot of people with cancer, I've seen a lot of people die. And the experiences that I've had are the people who die, what you and I would probably call peaceful deaths,

are those who utilize their time on this earth to find and live that purpose. On the other hand, the people that we would probably describe as, you know, the ones that go kicking and screaming, they want another day or another year or whatever it is, those are the people that never did anything with their lives. They never saw the urgency of living their uncommon and extraordinary purpose. They never took the time to figure out who they were, why they were here, and what they were supposed to do with their lives. You know, it's been said that the richest real estate in any country are cemeteries,

because their areas rich in businesses never started, books never written, relationships never pursued, and dreams never realized. And, you know, the only way we can find our purpose is to search it out, to try things that make us uncomfortable, you know, to fight against the status quo, to experience things that basically scare you and sometimes are just flat out embarrassing. You know, finding your why or your purpose is important because it's the reason that you were born. And the only way to discover that, excuse me, to discover that reason is to be open to it and search for it with your heart. Wow, Terry, that was beautiful. That's so true. And it really gives me pause for thought.

Sometimes when I find myself feeling sorry for myself or if I'm talking to someone else and I see that they're maybe hurting a little bit, I often think that right now, somewhere in this world, there's someone in the hospital begging for one more day. There's someone praying, like, please give my dad, please give my mom, please allow myself. son or my daughter one more day. And there's so many of us that wake up, they're like, oh, I can't do this today, or I can't do that, or I can't believe this happened to me. But there's people right now begging God for one more day. Give me one more. I'm going to change everything, you know. And if people can remember that, like when you start to get down or when you see somebody that's down, if you can just mentally remind yourself of like, listen, there's people that would be begging for one more these days. And I, I, I, I, I, I,

sometimes it it both inspires me and saddens me to know that people are they they rarely reach their potential and that's sad because people could be so much more if you just believed in yourself then you can't be that person or that thing that you want to be you can accomplish that goal if you can dream it you can begin it and it's it's inspiring to know because I I I know that I know that you know that that people can do it. And all it takes is seeing someone talk about difficult times or going through something and they can't achieve those things. And it just makes me want to get up and face life every day and with a smile on my face and reach out to people and try to make their life better. There's something really positive about making everyone around you better. In fact, I would argue that may be

the secret sauce in the hammer. of life is that if you can make everyone around you better, then by default, you're going to make your life better. And people are going to want to be around you. People are going to want to come to you and reach out to you and talk to you. And it changes the way you see the world when you change the way you think. I believe that thoughts are things. And if you can fundamentally change the way you think, then you can change the way you see the world and interact in it. I wanted to maybe shift gears a little bit and talk about thinking and inner dialogue. All day long, we're walking around answering and asking questions in our own mind.

You may not say it out loud. Sometimes I talk to myself a little bit, but all day long we have this inner dialogue going on. And it seems to me that when we get in tough times, you hear people say, oh, I heard this voice or I just thought this thing. And it's that inner dialogue that people are unconscious of. You can change that inner dialogue. And once you begin doing it, you'll change your life.

And I was curious if you could talk a little bit about the thoughts you think and maybe the inner dialogue going on in your mind when you faced some of these situations that you spoke about earlier. Sure. There's, you know, we just talked about, you know, we need to find and live our purpose. And that's great. Yes, we all should do that. But why don't we?

You know, there's an impediment, an obstacle that's preventing us from doing it. And that impediment, that obstacle, that's us. It's totally up because we know this. I mean, you know this. Our brains are hardwired to avoid pain and discomfort and to seek pleasure. I mean, to our minds, the status quo is comfortable and familiar and should just be left alone. Just let me alone. Things are good right now.

Just don't try anything new because it's scary. Don't do that. You might fail. That's your brain. I mean, that's the part of that one sentence that I talked about where, you know, control your mind or it will control you. Because if you start listening to your mind,

your mind knows your fears. It knows your vulnerabilities. And it's going to play on those if you start messing with the status quo. I always try to give an example. You know, we all know people that are stuck in dead end jobs. And they should have been working somewhere else. ago, but for some reason, they stay put. And I always wondered, why is that? And I'd suggest it's because

every time that they decide to find new employment, their brain kicks in and starts pointing out all the reasons they should stay. You know, hey, you're making good money or you're accustomed to the routines, or let's face it, the work's easy. You know what? It goes somewhere else. She might not get along with your co-worker. That's your brain talking to you. That's not the brain you want to listen to. Whatever the reason to the brain, a new job presents, all types of uncertainty and uncomfortableness. If you're in a job that you can't stand, and it would make sense for you to explore new opportunities, your brain will fight you on making that change. And I think this next statement, I mean, there's a whole chapter in my book about

it is the problem with most people is they think with their fears and their insecurities instead of using their minds. And we don't like to live in an uncomfortable state, but that's the only place where real growth can occur. When I was a girls high school basketball coach in Houston for a while, and I used to constantly remind my players that they needed to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. And as such, I'd move players in and out of drills and practice that I knew caused them anxiety. I wanted them to be uneasy because it's practice. That's why you practice.

Not because I was trying to get them to fail, but because I wanted them to realize that they could succeed at something that made them apprehensive. the only way that we can grow, the only way that we can push past those comfort zones is to do what we find unpleasant and undesirable. It's in those painful, difficult, ugly, sometimes embarrassing moments that real growth can occur. And I'm going to date myself here a little bit, not that I already haven't, but in 1976, the U.S. Gold Medal Olympic swimmer by the name of Shirley Babashoff, again, Every quote I ever heard was one of the greatest quotes I ever heard in my life. But she did. She had a great quote and I still use it to this day.

And this is what she said. She said, winners think about what they want to happen and losers think about what they don't want to happen. Winners can override their brains and focus on the things that they want to occur. Losers focus on the negative aspect of competition and they aren't able to see the positive qualities of pursuing a goal or a dream. most people will never get to where they want to be because they won't stop whining and complaining about where they're at. If you want to lead an uncommon and extraordinary life, and I believe everybody should want that,

the only way to make that happen is to embrace the uncomfortable and to do the things that you don't like and that you don't want to do. To become successful or significant or whatever you want to say, your purpose has to be bigger than your pain. And I try to put this in a quick little story. If you were to go to a gym and pick up a 10 pound weight and do 10 arm curls and you didn't find that movement difficult, then your muscle's never going to grow. However, if you go to that same gym, pick up that same 10 pound weight and do arm curls until you exhaust your muscle and you can't do another repetition, then you're stressing that muscle. And as a result, it will grow and get stronger. that same tactic works with your mind. And it's what I used every day when I knew,

you know what, I got surgery today or I got another treatment today or whatever it is. If you stress and push your mind by doing things that are uncomfortable, then it will grow, it will develop, and you will become a stronger and tougher individual. Yeah, that, I mean, that's beautifully put it. It sounds to me, Like, I was a young, as a young kid, I was a wrestler. And my dad would always preach mental toughness.

And he would always preach that, I think it was Henry Ford who said, whether you believe he can or whether you believe you can't, either way you're right. And so, you know, I think a lot of that comes from sports and competition. And you spoke about basketball. And there's a great story that you've probably heard about John Wooden, you know, the winningest coach of all time in basketball history. And he said that he would sit the young men down when he, when the first started the team and the first day of practice, he would sit the men down and he would say, gentlemen, here's the deal, gentlemen. If you go out on that court and you give your all, I don't care about the score.

I don't care about what happens at the end of the game. If you go out there and you give your all, everything you have, you give your soul on that court, then you get to walk away. the winner because you get more out of yourself than the other team did. And on the flip side, if you go out on that court and you kind of slacked off or you weren't paying attention or you didn't give 120 percent, then I don't care about the score either. You're a loser because you made a conscious decision to go out there and not do what's best for you. You made a conscious decision to go out there and slack off. And that is the mindset of life, I think. You know, And it just takes us back to giving everything you have for what you believe in and living life to the fullest and finding your purpose.

And it's a beautiful thing. And I just want to say thanks, Terry, for spending some time and talking to me and helping me out. Whether you believe it or not, I've been reading a lot of the stuff on the website, which I link to below. and it's beautiful. I mean, you can go there. Everybody who's listening to this, please go to the link below. And just,

if you just need a quick little hit of dopamine, you can read these awesome quotes that Terry's got. I have a friend named Maurice who had a really beautiful, Maurice Pushall. He had a beautiful, you know, New Year's Day post. And he says, I'm not taking anything with me into the new year that weighs me down.

He says, if you owe me money, forget about it. If I have wronged you in the past, past, please accept my apology. If you've wronged me in the past, then I'm over it. I'm not bringing anything into this new year that was weighing me down. And it just reminds me of that same mindset we were talking about. So can you tell us where your book is available and maybe some of the other sites we can go. And I'll also link to them in the show notes. But can you tell us where we can find all your stuff at? Sure. The easiest place to kind of find everything is back in 2019, I started

this blog and you have to understand what an accomplishment that was for me because I can barely turn on my cell phone. So to put a blog together was, you know, it was four pages. It took me four months. You know, it was like, I'd start something. I'm like, I don't know what that means. Now I've got to go research it. Okay. Yeah, I get that. All right. Now, I don't know what that means. I got to go research that. Literally, I mean, my daughter could have probably done it in about 30 seconds. You know, it took me four months to put four pages together. Yeah. So, you know, I mean, it's, This book, really, I wrote this book between the time that I had my leg amputated in April of last year and the time I started chemotherapy in June of this year, or of last year. So it was a book that I wrote that I really believe was inspired by God.

I really think God was like, yeah, you're going to write it, but just shut up and listen to what I'm going to tell you here and put this out. And so it's everything you want to know about me is available on motivationalcheck.com. And you can link to the book. The book's available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Apple Eye Books and all that kind of stuff. It's called Sustainable Excellence, The Ten Principles, to Leading Your Uncommon and Extraordinary Life. And also on there is a link to my Twitter account, my Facebook account, my LinkedIn account. So Motivational Check.com will pretty much get you more Terry Tucker than you ever wanted in your life. Well, that's awesome.

I am going to make some, I've already made. breakfast for my daughter, but I got to pack her lunch and get this little girl off to school. But Terry, I hope we can talk again soon, and maybe we can do it, you know, maybe we can check in a few times this year. And if you have anything ever coming up or you need to get the word out, please reach out. And everybody listening to this, I hope that this interview did it justice. But I would truly recommend that everybody go and check out, Motivationalcheck.com, and listen to Terry's story and I hope that a little piece of Terry can reside in everybody that's listening to this because I think it'll be a better person if you can take a little Terry Tucker and put them in your

heart. Thank you, George. I really appreciate you having me on and I really enjoy talking with you. Me as well and I'll reach out to you via all the other channels later this week to touch base and stuff. But thank you so much for your time, Terry. Aloha. If you ever make it out or your family makes out to Hawaii, you've got a place to stay. Have a great. rest of your day and aloha my friend you too aloha to you okay take care okay have a nice day thank you thank you thank you