TrueLife - Yvonne Dam - Elevate Your Game, Accelerate Your Life

Episode Date: December 14, 2023

One on One Video Call W/George https://tidycal.com/georgepmonty/60-minute-meetingSupport the show:https://www.paypal.me/Truelifepodcast?locale.x=en_US🚨🚨Curious about the future of psychedelics? Imagine if Alan Watts started a secret society with Ram Dass and Hunter S. Thompson… now open the door. Use Promocode TRUELIFE for Get 25% off monthly or 30% off the annual plan For the first yearhttps://www.district216.com/Yvonne Dam is the Founder and CEO of Amaze Yourself Coaching, a seasoned performance and business coach dedicated to helping individuals reclaim their time and optimize their professional and personal lives. With a wealth of coaching experience spanning executives, teams, and ambitious business owners, Yvonne has empowered dozens to achieve business growth while strategically reducing their working hours.Her transformative coaching programs focus on the philosophy of saying “yes” selectively, a principle she herself embraced on her journey from workaholism to balance. Yvonne’s personal experience of recovering from burnout fuels her passion for guiding others through the process of finding freedom, focus, and self-fulfillment.When not immersed in coaching, Yvonne enjoys the simple pleasures of life, indulging in beach walks and savoring a sparkly glass of champagne. Her commitment to embracing life and achieving a harmonious blend of work, family, and personal well-being reflects the core principles she instills in her coaching approach.http://www.amaze-yourself.com/http://linkedin.com/in/yvonnedam One on One Video call W/George https://tidycal.com/georgepmonty/60-minute-meetingSupport the show:https://www.paypal.me/Truelifepodcast?locale.x=en_USCheck out our YouTube:https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPzfOaFtA1hF8UhnuvOQnTgKcIYPI9Ni9&si=Jgg9ATGwzhzdmjkg

Darkness struck, a gut-punched theft, Sun ripped away, her health bereft. I roar at the void. This ain't just fate, a cosmic scam I spit my hate. The games rigged tight, shadows deal, blood on their hands, I'll never kneel. Yet in the rage, a crack ignites, occulted sparks cut through the nights. The scars my key, hermetic and stark. To see, to rise, I hunt in the dark, fumbling, fear. Fearist through ruins maze lights my war cry born from the blaze.

The poem is Angels with Rifles. The track, I Am Sorrow, I Am Lust by Codex Seraphini. Check out the entire song at the end of the cast. Ladies and gentlemen, I hope your morning is going beautiful. I hope your evening's going beautiful. I don't know if you're listening to this in the middle of the day. I hope you're not in traffic. I hope you got a smile on your face.

great show for you today and inspirational. And we are, we're talking from Hawaii to Barcelona. So we're going global here, ladies and gentlemen. I got an incredible guest for you, the one and only Yvonne Dam. She's the founder and CEO of Amaze Yourself, a seasoned performance and business coach dedicated to helping individuals reclaim their time and optimize their professional and personal lives. With a wealth of coaching experience spanning executives, teams, and ambitious business owners. Yvonne has empowered dozens to achieve business growth while strategically reducing their work hours. Does that sound interesting to everybody? I know it does to me. Her transformative coaching programs focus on the philosophy of saying yes, selectively. A principle she herself embraced

on her journey from workaholism to balance, which we're going to be getting into. Yvonne's personal experience of recovering from burnout fuels her passion for guiding others to the process of finding freedom, focus, and self-fulfillment. Yvonne, thank you so much for being here today. How are you? I am amazing. Thank you so much for having me. Yeah, the pleasure's all mine.

It's always interesting, and I'm very thankful to get to speak to people who have a different kind of mindset and are using that mindset to help others be successful. So, you know, maybe I'll just jump right in here and ask you, the philosophy of balance. Can you maybe delve a little deeper into your journey from being a workaholic to finding balance? And how did you embrace that philosophy to saying yes on only what you wanted to? That sounds fascinating to me. Sure. Well, I don't know about you, but I'm quite driven.

You know, I and especially when I like what I do, I'm all in, I'm kind of the all or nothing person. Yeah. And I started as an international tax lawyer in one of the top two global audit firms. So we were always drilled in, you know, work, work, work. every minute is going to cost money because every minute was charged to the client. So there was a lot of pressure always to work hard and I love what I did. So I was in a corporate environment for 25 years and in several leadership positions. And there was always something, right?

And I knew that I didn't want that anymore. And I knew that I wanted to help clients one on one. So that's when I left the corporate world to start coaching. but I didn't know, and maybe if you're a business owner, you recognize this, but what I didn't know is that I kind of changed only the environments. I didn't change my working hours, if anything, I started to work more because now it was all for me, right? So, and I was even more driven. And then one day I kind of woke up and I was like, what the beep am I doing? Because I'm just working all day and this was supposed to give me freedom, right?

start my own company, be free. And I was like, yeah, this is really not how it should be. And then I started to cut back, basically. I started to ask myself, okay, so what is it all about? What do I really need to do? And what don't I have to do? And I would love to tell you that it was as inky as that. And then I flipped the switch and all of a sudden there was balance in my life.

But it's not. But it's, you know, for driven people that really are eager to make things work, you now and again have to really make conscious decisions about what you're doing and what you're doing, what you're not doing anymore. And that's where it starts with me for saying yes to what you really want, but maybe even more important, say no to everything else. And that for me is really the key. to be more in balance and to with that have a better life.

So what is it for you that like you know it's yes? Is it like a heartfelt feeling? Is it like a combination of this cerebral idea of like this is very important and I love this? Or what is it that yes? How does your mind and body know this is a yes? Well, for me it's a couple of things, right? And I think it's different for everyone, but we all know deep down what a yes is and what actually is like, oh, you know. So it starts with the obvious.

Let's say if I just look at what do I like to do in my business, well, I love to coach. I love to coach. I love to speak to people about it. That's, you know, that's like, boo-hoo, makes me happy. Almost wake me up. And I'll talk about it, right? What's a heartfelt note? I really, and I already knew this, I'm not into administration.

So, bookkeeping, first thing, hard felt yes for someone else, not for me. That's it, but that's quite an obvious one. It's more than nuances that you need to be careful of, things that people ask you and that you think can do a lot for your business, and then you're doing it, and you're actually not enjoying it, because it might be not that just once off, but then there's a whole lot of other stuff you need to do that you actually know, oh my God, this drains me. Sometimes you need to do something before you know next time.

I need to say no, right? And sometimes it really, for me, the main thing is, yes, it's a gut feeling and sometimes you struggle to find it. But what brings me joy, you know? What comes easy? What feels effortless? What if I start doing it, it time flies away. That are the yes things and a lot of other things are most likely, no, maybe not, not today.

Let's cancel. Let's follow. Or anything in between, but not doing it. Yeah, that's a good. I love getting down to the kind of nitty-gritty and finding out what it is because I think everybody has these different sort of feelings that they consume them sometimes. And then, you know, when you seem to be climbing the second mountain, be it in life or wherever it is, you know, your relationship with money changes. I've noticed that in a lot of people with whom I'm spoken. And it seems to me that this idea of purpose begins to trump money.

Did you find that on that second mountain climb? Yes, yes. And I think that the money aspect is often one that triggers people to say yes, the things that they don't. want to do. And the funny thing is that if you do that, it doesn't pay off. It doesn't pay what you're expecting to pay. Whereas if you are true to what you're feeling and your purpose and really what makes you happy, then it almost attracts the money. And I'm not going to say it's going to do it, you know, without you doing anything because it's still, hey, I need to work for it. But it's, it's, I like to call it your zone of genius is where it doesn't feel like work because you will be almost

astonished by getting paid for it because you love to do it it comes easy to you yet and years where it often goes wrong because it comes easy to you and because you feel like hey I almost should not be paid for it that's where your zone of genius lies but a lot of people then think it comes easy i can't charge for it and then they get into issues whereas you have to recognize your talents and your strengths you have to recognize that it's you that has it and not someone else and then it becomes easier and then you get to you know be in the right money spirit so to say i love it so it seems to me that lived experience is something that helps you recognize the potential of other people. And when I hear you talking about what's going on here, how do you see that in other

people as a coach or as a mentor or as someone who wants other one to find that zone of genes? You can say that stuff and you know it in your heart because you had the lived experience of it. But how do you help other people spot their own zone of genius? Well, it's a variety of things. But often when I work with my clients, it's quite clear. I must say I have very, it was actually surprising to me. I love people. All kinds of people, I, you know, the more variety, the better for me. I'm always curious, I always like to engage.

I love that. I must say I work with the most amazing people, so somehow there is already a connection that I feel. If I don't feel the connection, I have to say no, because then it's not going to work. And I work with the most amazing people. And I found that a lot of my clients, they often feel like they are different. They often feel they don't fit in.

Whatever reason, but they feel like I'm different. Sometimes it's obvious why they feel different. Sometimes it's not. They just have a different way of thinking or a different way of doing or a different way of being. And for me, like I said, let's work with that. Let's embrace that difference. But you can imagine that when someone has felt different their entire life and sometimes they even have been bullied about that difference or they have been made fun of, it is a bit

painful. It is a bit like they know it, they accept it because it's how they are, but they don't really like it because they've been called out of it or sometimes they have been given a label, you know, your this or your debt. And then I often see there's an opportunity. If that is you, wow, you do it different than all the rest. And then we start to unravel that present all to set, you know. Okay, so if you're different, then let's embrace that. Let's use that. Let's make that bigger and once we work through several things because you can imagine it's not like oh yeah I'm different oh oh I feel so amazing now I'm different though it often feels like I'm different okay

if we work through that but then allow you to to be your natural self well you can only imagine what's going to happen then and that's it's for every person different of course every coaching you know program is different but that's what it comes down to let you see how amazing you are so you can embrace it, use it, and then it in the zone and then, yeah, take off from there. I love it. It's sort of the

ugly duckling in real life, right? And on some level, I wonder, I just had a conversation with Perry about this. We were talking about how a lot of the times the corporate environment tends to squeeze uniqueness out of people and try to shove this beautiful round peg into the square, you know, they really don't like people that are nonlinear because they see things

different or they're not doing exactly like they're told because maybe they have a better way to do it. You know, I've seen that in my life. Have you seen the corporate world just try to like squeeze people into places that they have no business being? And it kills their soul, right? Yes, it does. Yeah, I know that I, when I worked before, but I always felt like I was wearing a mask. Yes, yep. And it already starts with how you have to dress. You all have to be dressed, equally, you know, even in my environment, you couldn't even wear color or have like a, the most rebellious thing is if you would have a pinstripe, you know? Oh.

You know, no, no, it's not. And if your hair was different or anything, it's really, it's not done. So that's just the outside. And then it's inside and you have to be on time or you have to actually wait, you have to work longer than your boss. You have to be seen. You know, it's all that kind of things that that kind of kills your brains and your creativity. And that's why I think, you know, there's so much to do to make that world better because they actually need nonlinear thinkers.

And if they're not tapping into that source, they're missing out big time. Yeah. Yeah. It's, you know, sometimes I'll talk to people who, when my mentor group, when I talk to them and they're like, oh, I got five. I'm like, congratulations. What? You know, you should see their face change. What do you mean?

I'm like, congratulations. That means you stood up and you fought for something. You know, let me give you a hug. Like, you know, people don't do that. Like, and I, I've seen both people. I've seen, by myself, have been escorted out of buildings before. And I've also been the guy that's sitting in there like, I can't believe I'm going to do this thing that goes completely against my code of respect for myself.

And I think that one feels worse because that one stays with you. It's like, I didn't see. say or do what I know I'm capable of. And you don't forgive yourself, especially the nonlinear thinkers. Like, they're so hard on themselves. Have you found that to be true? Yeah, I definitely. And there's a beautiful project that's now going on from the octopus movement that's going

to help corporates to actually make sure that they embrace nonlinear thinkers. So I'm part of their project. So I'm very excited about it. But it is because we need it. And you're so right. If you go against what you are made of, what you stand for, your own values. Yeah.

It's soul-sucking. So, yeah, I totally, totally agree with you. It's fascinating to me to think. You know, sometimes I think of the term business alchemy. And I see that when reading through your bio and reading through some of the comments that people are saying about you. In optimizing businesses while reducing working hours, what key principles or strategies have you found most effective?

It's so funny. I had a conversation about this yesterday. I somehow I always like to look for the shortcuts, right? I'm very much a person, if we can do it in four hours instead of eight, let's do that. You know? I love that. And I really feel that my experience in the corporate world, I was in finance, HR, sales and business development, change management. So I've seen a lot of things. And like I said, I love to work with diverse people, diverse companies.

So that kind of helps me to see, okay, let's assess where you are, what's happening, what's going on in your business. Let's look at, you know, how are you standing in the race? Are you still happy? Are you doing the best you can? What's your vision? Where do you want to take it? But also, how is your setup right now?

How are your systems? How is your team? How are your sales efforts? How is everything within your business supporting you? And then if we look at that, we already start seeing things that like, you know, it's not really supporting me or I hate to do that or I shouldn't be doing that. So those are the things that we then let go off. And it's surprising because people often feel like I need to do more in my experience so often

is no, you need to do less. And then the other thing I always like to look at is, okay, so if you look back, what did you love to do, what came easy, and what worked really well. And again, and I think this is a beautiful time because we're at the end of the year is people are thinking about, hey, what do I want to do next year? Now think about this. And then let's keep it simple. New Year's resolutions.

What do people think about? They think about the things they don't like about themselves and they leave the things, right? I need to move more because I'm lazy. I need to lose weight because I feel fat. Okay, how about we turn it around? Hey, I love walking in nature. Okay, let me walk in nature more. And yes, with that, I'm moving more.

Okay, so I don't know, I love vegetables. Let me eat more vegetables. You see, it's the same outcome, but it's a total different way of getting there. And that's what I love to do most, looking at what do you love, what went well in your business, what paid off. How can we do more of that? So it actually starts to be like, woo-hoo. And the funny thing is, if you do that, you don't have to work so hard. You don't have to work so long because you're doing what goes well and you're doing more of it.

So that's, yeah, that's what I love to do to look at. I love it. I like that little rearrangement of language patterns that you do for people when you're getting, let's just switch it backwards. Like that sounds so simple, but that is a fundamental shift in the way people move their life as their language patterns. I'm curious, have you noticed that the language patterns that people have with their language or their voice tends to echo the patterns in their life. and their relationships. Isn't that amazing? It is. Yeah, I love that. And it's so true. And it's also people aren't even aware what they're saying, is it? You know, and if you think about it, everything you say, but also everything you think has an effect.

And are you saying the positive things or are you saying the negative things? and I'm also aware we all have had bad experiences, you know, life isn't always peachy, let's be honest. But you can do two things. You can really, you know, rehearse the bad again and again and again and again and maybe share it and talk about it and say, oh, this was so bad and this happened and da-da-da. I get it and you definitely have to work through things. But ask yourself, rehashing again and again, do you think it's going to be?

you more positivity or more negativity. And I'm a very firm believer of flipping the script. And it's not an easy thing, but if you can reframe it, if you can take this bad experience, and once again, I'm not saying don't work through it or, you know, you have to, right? But once you feel like, okay, I'm ready to let it go because it's actually bugging me away, then how can you flip the script? How can you take that and maybe zoom out and look at, okay, but that bad thing happened. But there was also a reason.

Maybe there was because you were so strong. Maybe it was because you're now benefiting from it. What is the other thing that you can talk about that actually kind of makes you feel better? Yeah. I love it. Yeah, that's it's, you see that in PTSD and in survivors of trauma. and you could argue that getting up and going to a work that you despise is trauma. Like it was for me.

And it's so one thing I've noticed when we speak of patterns is that sometimes the patterns that you despise in other people are in fact the patterns you despise about yourself. I know this person that I was, I speak to a while back and I just saw him replaying this scene. Like they were saying, you know what this person did? They did this. And then they just kept repeating it. And you know, they did this. And you know why I think they did this? They did this.

And I was like, oh, that's a negative feedback loop. They're just breaking this connection stronger in their mind. And they're making themselves more angry. And then I was like, how do I know that? And I'm like, oh, because I do it. You know? It's crazy to see that people are mirrors, right? Like the things we see and people we despise are usually things we despise

about ourselves. The people, the things we love are usually things we're nurturing in ourselves and we should be nurturing. Does that seem pretty on point? Definitely. it's sometimes painful that you go like oh and then you go I do that myself yeah yeah yeah but there's also a really good side of it that we often don't recognize and it's when you kind of see someone doing something and you go like oh my gosh I wish I could do that you know for example I have it when I feel when

when I read something or I hear someone using the most eloquent words that kind of and I'm not a native speaker right? So I always go like, oh my gosh, one day when I grow up, I want to be a speaker like that or I want to be able to write like that. I now know that if you see something a merit in someone, something that you really, I wouldn't say be jealous of because that's not how I feel. Let's say you're inspired by you go like, I wish I could do it. You can only see it if you have it in you as well. So, you know, if it's next time when you see someone and you go like, I would do it and then you start beating yourself up because you can't, remember this. You can only see it because it's in you. It's from the negative side, like, oh, oh, I've got that.

But it's also from the positive side. Like, you know, maybe one day next year, I'll be more eloquent in my words, you know? I just, that inspires me so much that I go like, well, I don't know where it is yet, but I know there is like a little seed in me that waits to come out and be more, you know, poetic with their words and everything. But that kind of lights me up as much as it's painful to sometimes be confronted with your own shadow sites. And it lands. Just hearing you say that. like it it changes the way I think a little bit in it you know that if we stay on patterns for a minute how long do you think you need to interrupt someone's

patterns before they start changing their behavior um well let's be honest it can be very quick and it can also take well almost a life you know and I I'm I'm already told you like I'm a very much like all or nothing I'm very impatient if I I've decided that I, you know, that I want to be more healthy. I'm expecting it tomorrow. I must be honest. That's kind of my thing. That kind of doesn't work.

I've got to be completely honest. Like with the whole balance, I still have to work on it. It's my quest. It's, you know, it's what I do. They say what you teach, you need to learn yourself the most, right? And what I've learned more and more is that as much as I, like, big gestures, big changes, it all starts with the little things. And it always starts with awareness. And if you can already be aware, then you already have half the race. And then, you know,

there are so many ways to change things. But I always tell myself and my clients, depending on how long have you been harboring this. So for example, if you've been told, from childhood that you're not good enough, then it's not, oh, I've decided I'm a great person now and now I'm feeling it. No, there's a lot of unraveling to do. There's a lot of continuation you need to do to break that pattern, but you can do it a step at a time. And then there's also, which, again, unfortunately, I've experienced in my client's experience as well, but there's also the thing and they call it each level has its own devil oh i've never heard that before no okay so oh i love it so let's say uh you you want to change um i don't know well let's let's take a very

obvious one that everybody can relate to right you you want to stop eating sugar right you you want to be because it's it's a holiday festive so let's talk about not eating sugar eating healthy. So the easy thing is like, okay, kind of cut out all the sugar in my life. It's kind of hard, especially when you've been eating sugar your whole life. So instead of that go like, okay, well, I used to use sugar in my tea. Let's skip that. Okay, I've done it for a while. I've grown into it and it can take months. Now I feel okay. So now I'm going to reduce my cookies. I'm not going to stop them all together, but I'm going to reduce them. And so it's like Instead of doing everything, which is very unsustainable, you cut out little things.

And with each little step, you tell yourself, yeah, but how many years have I been doing this? Oh, right. Yeah, so it's easy to have a fallback, but I still want it. And breaking the patterns, you meet more than willpower. You need to know your intrinsic motivation. Why do I want this? why do I feel this important? Why am I ready to let it go?

If there's not a big enough why, it's very hard. Yeah, that's the catalyst to move you forward. Yeah. Without that, then there's relapse and almost back to addiction on some level where people have this unrealistic expectation of quitting something that they've done for years and then, I can't do it, I'm a loser. And then right back, it's just this wild machine, right? Yes.

Yes. And that's what I found with, you know, being a workaholic. You think, oh, I'm just going to cut back on my hours and then I'm done. Well, first of all, that's quite hard. But even when you've done it, it goes so much further because then you've reached a certain level and you go like, oh, I've done it. And then someone asks you to do something in the weekends. And you go like, well, mind. So you do it one weekend. You do it the next and the next. And then you go like, oh, there I go, like, oh, there I go again. So even then when I've cut back my hours during the week, all of a sudden, I'm slipping back into I'm working weekends. Again, you need to cut back because that's a different level. And when you've caught that back, then what often happens is I'm working eight hours, but what I'm secretly doing is I'm pushing 10 hours in eight because I'm so productive. And then your stress levels rise because all of a sudden you're putting so much pressure on yourself next level. need to make sure that I slow down and build in time in between. So I actually, it's also a contradiction thing. You need to push more in less hours. It's not working. You need to actually

be relaxed and then you get more productive. But that's a side note. But basically you need to then, okay, now I need to work less intense. And that's another level of, you know, being a workaholic. So there's so many levels, but you can't unravel all the levels until you've done steps by steps. Does that make sense? Yeah, it makes perfect sense. It leads me to this next question of whether it's being a workaholic or whether it is people self-sabotaging or people fighting and a weight problem. Do you find there's a common thread? On some level, these are all forms of self-sabotage, but it feels like we're running.

running from something. Have you noticed in your clients, is there maybe not one certain thing, but are people running from something? What do you think is happening there? Why are we doing this? Yeah, it's, it's, to make it very black and white, and it's never black and white, not for my clients or, nor was it for me. But basically, when you're a workaholic, you're addicted to work. Nobody likes the word addicted, but it is what it is. The reason why you make yourself, addicted to something is to kind of numb a pain, right? It's what you do. So you don't have to feel it. Very often, you work too much because you're unhappy in an other element of your life. Right. And it doesn't have to be blatantly obvious, right? It doesn't have to be obvious for the

outside world, but inside, you know something is missing. And for me, it was I wasn't happy with who I was. I wasn't feeling great. I always had the feeling of not being enough. And I had to work on that before being able to let him go of an addiction. And this is what I very often see with my clients. They feel they're not good enough. And that's why they feel they have to work harder.

that's why they have to feel they have to work more so they can prove to others that they're good enough but if you're not working on your intrinsic value that you feel you're good enough it doesn't matter how many hours you work how many people you try to please you will still feel hollow inside so that's what often is underneath an addiction it makes me sad in some ways because I know that feeling of not being enough and trying to satiate it through all kinds of things. You know, whether I've got to make more money or I got to work out harder, but it doesn't. It just, it seems to me that around 47, 48, for me, as when it's like, oh, okay, you know, I've played these games long enough. Like, it doesn't matter what I do, I do it like that.

You know, it's time to be a big boy and figure out what it is, what is bothering you, you know. And a lot of the time it's easy to fall back in those old patterns because you get close to having a breakthrough and you realize, you know what I never dealt with was this problem I have in my family. That's probably why I moved away, you know, you start, you start dancing around the issue and then it's easy to fall back in those patterns. What do you do for people so they don't fall back in those patterns? Well, that's basically where I'm there. I help them. I can either call them out on it when they don't notice it. Well done.

Or if they notice it themselves, I can help them work through it. And by no means I'm no therapist. Let's get that right. You know, that's not what I do. Right. But it does come through in how they run their business or how they are harsh on themselves. And then, you know, we can work through it. we can flip the script and I can hold them accountable.

And that's what I do. I help them through it so they can make the change and make it a lasting change. And you're so right. It's not a linear path. Much as we would love it, but it's more like, and you go up. And it's nice to have someone with you who understands you and who helps you through it and who doesn't say

what the hell are you doing you know but like it's normal because it is that's one thing that's so amazing about the octopus group is like oh this person gets it you know like for so many people for so long

it's just like you're all alone you don't understand what's happening and it makes perfect sense to you but nobody around you they're just like this guy dude stay away from that person like they're just lunatic but you're not you just

have a different way to see it. And here's one thing that I really think you probably do beautiful is that it takes two people to notice a pattern. And so if you are yourself or in a destructive mode or something, you may know something's wrong with you, but it takes another person to perceive that pattern with you and point it out to you. That's very, very helpful to have someone, it takes two people to recognize a pattern, right? Yes, it does. Yeah. And it's so I was just before this, I was writing a client who asked several questions that I was like, okay, you're asking these questions because you're stuck in your pattern. And if you keep asking these questions, if you keep having this outlook,

you're going to call more in of it because this is how you feel it's going to be, so it's going to be like that. So let's stop and let's change that because this isn't going to help you. And I'm pretty sure that if I wouldn't have called them out, it's just the way they are thinking forever. So it's not changed. And that's indeed why you need two people to see it and to change it. Yeah. It's really well said. And it's maybe you could speak to the idea for some people listening or watching this, like how you can actually call more of that drama,

or call more of that pattern in your life. Do you speak to the magnetism of it? So it's, it's, it's very often it starts with something that you are unsatisfied with. It, that's, I think the biggest, the easiest way is something that you, you feel unhappy with that's always niggling or that kind of upsets you, right? So, So I'm thinking about a real life example because that always makes it better. Well, let's talk about trust. You know, I have many clients who have trust issues or control issues.

They know they want to scale their business. They want to expand. But they feel like, yeah, but I'm the only one who can really do it. You know, I nobody else can do it like me, which is true, because you're only you and nobody's going to do it like you. And then we need to unravel it, you know, because then they get grumpy because they work to hard. They actually should delegate, but they don't want to delegate because they can't, you know.

So then what's underneath it? Why can't you, why can't you trust? And then maybe their trust has been misused in the past or abused or over again and again And when they had faith, you know, something didn't work out. And then when we can look into that, what happens? Okay, how could that happen? You know, what brought it? Because that's something we often tend to forget.

But a lot of negativity has brought us something. Maybe we're stronger. Maybe we're more resilient. Maybe we're more like, I'm going to do it anyway, right? Yep. Very often it has brought you to where you are right now, which is amazing. So it's also acknowledging what it has brought you and then seeing, hey, I have this trust issue and I'm ready to work on it. So we do a couple of things.

We look at, okay, how has it helped you? What will help you to make it feel good? So, for example, if you need to delegate more and you want it to go your way, well, write out your way, you know, step by step so that people do it. train them and then you can let it go and you can check it. But there's there's all kinds of ways to work through it so that you finally start trusting again. Start with small things. Don't you know don't handle your your whole business. Start with a small thing. If that goes well, great. Checking things like that. So it's really unraveling what happens, seeing what you can put in place to feel better about it.

And then once you have the evidence that it works, you can build on that. Okay, so it worked with this person. Now maybe I need more, or maybe I can start in other things that I'm doing to also incorporate more trust. And that's how you build it up. You start with something small.

You make sure that it feels good for you to do it. You work on it. You get the evidence that it works. And then you take the next step. right started creating these positive feedback loops and these habits in your life to to you know sometimes you'll hear people talk about following their heart or a voice that they hear like what do you think that is and how do you get people to resonate with that and unify that that call to action um i'm a very firm believer that that that voice you hear

or you know that that inner calling is something you need to listen to and if if you don't you kind of we already talked about it you kind of like you shrivel up you know it's and and and for me I know I I wanted to start my coaching business I think it was like seven years or something and I never did it because I was afraid you know I had golden handcuffs But every house we moved into and I've moved a lot around, I was like, okay, this room is going to be my coaching room. And I always had like, you need to go. And I was like, yeah, no, but I can't.

And for me, what happened was I was working in my last corporate job and it was hell. Honestly, it was the worst environment ever. And mind you, I already worked for that company in three or four different countries. and now I was there and it was the worst. And I think it's because my calling was to do something else. So if you don't listen to it, you will be miserable,

but very often, if it's really meant to be, something around you will happen, which isn't great, that you have to go like, and now you will have to do it. Yeah. So, but it's scary

because often also this little voice or this very strong voice is urging you to do something that you go like, I can't do that. That's way different from what I'm going to do and how am I going to make money and, you know, all the wise. But it's almost, I like to question what if, not in a sense of what if it goes wrong, but what if it works out? Yeah.

What if? And then allow yourself to dream. and that can be a first step of tapping into that voice. So what if I would have a coaching business, right? What if I would do this? How would I feel? Don't fall into the nitty gritty and how to get there, but just what if I would listen to that voice.

And I don't know about you, but I can already feel like, ooh, you know, the problem is starting to come up. What if it does work out? And then when that starts stronger and you allow yourself to believe in it, then you can start building a bridge to how to get there. But first, what if it does work?

It's so beautiful. In my mind's eye, I can hear you singing what if and calling in the imagination, which is the next step to create something. And I can't agree more. I myself had that moment where I denied my life so long that I was filled with misperiod. place to anger and I took it out on other people and I just I could see the change but as soon as like

and for some reason the resistance in me was so crazy life had to take me by the arm and just force the situation okay you fought enough now this now what and then that you know after the moment of breaking and cracking and maybe feeling sorry for yourself for a while that voice begins to speak up to you and it's you know it's now is the time do that thing you know you start asking yourself what if and then all of a sudden it seems to me for me anyway the next stage was having these incredible visions of what if it does work out and then the strong imagination of seeing it work out and all of a sudden you come to the realization you can be that person you could have always been that person you just have to have the courage to do it how do

how do we get people to take maybe just one baby step towards courage and start living this authentic version of themselves what are some tools or tricks for that well i i i i I personally really like what you're saying because that works really well if you allow yourself to dream, if you allow yourself to go there every day or as often as you can. And what I have seen is that when you allow yourself to play with this idea, excuse me, to kind of embrace it, people and situations will start showing up that you know, oh gosh, can do this. You know, it is because you allow yourself to go there. You allow yourself to think this is going to happen.

And I really, if you tap into that feeling constantly, things will happen. If not, go out and look for it. What a great exercise to do is to actually, I would like to do that. Now, I can tell myself 3,000 reasons why it can't because that's, Human nature, right? Yeah. Now let's look at some examples where what I want to do has worked out for someone else. And that really, really helps. When I started my coaching business, I remember thinking, oh gosh, but there are already a million coaches.

So how am I going to be different? And then I taught myself, but there are already a thousand restaurants and yet still I like to go to one. And there are already so many hairdresses. So how come I still have troubles finding the right one? Very true. So, you know, it's like tell yourself different stories instead of saying, you know, but look at examples of how it did happen for someone. Get inspiration from that.

I think that's why most of us like these stories where the underdog becomes the hero. Because we often feel like the underdog and we want to be the hero. So find real life examples that you know tell you that you can do it as well and then take take a little step, you know. Okay, if I, if I want to do, let's say, if I want to write a book, because a lot of people want to write a book. How about I just start to put pen to paper? Honestly, how will I, if I just allow myself to maybe write, what is it, 15 minutes a day, why not? or if I feel in the flow I just start writing or I what would be some of the topics I want to write about and before you know it oh I kind of have the layout of a book wow you start to

write and and basically start with a little step don't make it big make it small small in time small in what you have to do but start and then it's easier and it gets easier and it gets easy and it gets easier and it gets bigger and more fundamental. I love it. You're singing to my heart right now. And I think we're beginning to touch on this idea of co-creation. When you start talking to people that do all kinds of things, one of them is writing a book. A lot of the things you'll hear is I felt as if something was writing through me. You know, you talk to athletes, oh, I was in the zone. I felt like someone was moving through me. Like that, and I think we're all capable of it. And once you catch a little taste of it, you realize there's something bigger going on here. And

you can tap into it. Whatever it is that you want to begin, you can definitely begin it. Can you become the best at it? Maybe, I don't know, but you can definitely begin it, and you could definitely start getting better at it, and you could definitely wake up and do that thing you want to do if you just have the courage to start doing it. What is going on with co-creation? Like when someone's writing through you, what do things happen in there? Well, it's very, depending on what you believe is, right? If you believe in God, no matter what God, if you believe in the universe, if you believe in having something go through you,

channeling, for me, it doesn't really matter, but there is a belief that there is something bigger than you and to feel or to allow that connection to be there. And it very often works very well if you pray or if you meditate, if you kind of sit in silence and allow that to be. And I think that's why it's so beautiful that we spoke about that imagination, that vision, because if you go there, you often already feel good. And if you sit in silence and you allow yourself to tap into that bigger source

or that holier source or what have you, you have that same feeling, that same vibe that like who, you know, it's almost like the piece inside starts to reoccur. And then when it's there, you can either ask for it to come through or you just will feel it. And all of a sudden you start to write or you start to do or you start what have you. But it's, it's in my experience, very much allowing it to come in. And again, it can be allowed to. whatever your faith is or the universe or tap into it and allow it to be. And then it's an amazing feeling when it does come through.

It is an amazing feeling. You know what else seems to be an amazing feeling? And I'm sure you have a lot of experience with this. I can't wait to hear what you have to say is that when people begin to make these changes in their life, it becomes contagious. And all of a sudden, you start seeing them around other people that are. living a little bit better and doing more things. And the same way we see is contagion usually with being sick, so too is contagion with wellness, right?

Like, how does that feel? That's an amazing thing to see, right? It is amazing. And I really feel that if you raise your own vibration, if you feel better, if you feel more happy, you attract the same people. And it really has to have that frequency, that like, okay, it's when you're happy,

you see more happy people, right? but it's also as simple as because if you smile, you know, that raises the happy endorphins in you, but if you smile, it is very difficult for someone to stay grumpy because you're smiling, you know. And the bigger your smile, the bigger someone returns their smile. I was actually doing an experiment. I was in New York earlier this year and I was staying in Queens and I was dog sitting. So I was walking the dog there. and walking around the neighborhood.

And but I was so happy because I was in New York and I was going to see a lot of my clients and a lot of the people that I knew. So I was feeling like, oh, I'm in New York, you know, I'm woohoo. But it was raining, it was dark. It wasn't like woohoo experience for a lot of people because they were going into work. So they were all like, you know.

And there I was, I was like, oh, I'm walking this dog. I kind of like this dog as well and I'm here. So I was like, and. And every single person that I looked at, they just started smiling back at me. When I would say, good morning, without whatever time it was, they would greet me back. And that's why I think it's contagious, because you feel good. So other people, you kind of, you know, you vibe it out and others will feel it. And it's not, you don't always have to go around like smiling because that's not how it's and how you feel.

but still because you feel internally good it's it's kind of attracts the same people because if you're miserable you don't want to be around a happy person you want to eat ice cream on the couch right so that's why I really think that if you if you feel it you raise your vibration or whatever you want to call it you get more like-minded people yeah it makes sense it's it's a wonderful feeling and More than that, it's so nice to give somebody a smile and see them change. We really have the power to help each other in ways that we don't understand, I don't think. Yeah, it's a beautiful thing. It is.

We spoke, here's an interesting one. Champagne moments. The mention of enjoying a sparkly glass of champagne. That always catches my attention. But how do you integrate moments of celebrating? and indulgence into your routine? Well, first of all, I love champagne. So, but I don't want anybody, you know, to get.

But I had to learn. It's the one thing. But if I still bring champagne to celebrate. So when do I do it? Well, when I want a new client or when I had an amazing month. And sometimes just to celebrate life, I must be honest there as well. But I do a couple of things to remember to celebrate. I write down wins every day.

Right. And that can be small things like I did a workout. It's also the things I'm working on. But it can also be like, hey, I made a referral to someone and I made them happy. That's a win, you know. or I got a new client or I had a great presentation. So this podcast is going to be on my wing for today. I can already tell you that.

You know, I had fun. I loved it. We had a good conversation. Yeah. And writing these wins down makes me already be more aware and more celebrating. So that's one thing I do. I do gratitude every day. And I have a daughter and we have a head.

habit that when she goes to bed, the three of us, we always say, so what were the three best things of the day? And then, and it's such a, it's, it's so small, but it's such a nice thing because you, her day is ended on a high. And, and it's also really nice to learn what she appreciates. And it's nice to understand, you know, what my husband appreciated. And it's such a nice habit. So that's what I do. And sometimes when something really awesome happens, you know, I can also have a very nice cup of tea. Of course. But just really enjoy it. So it's small and big, but it starts with acknowledging it. Yeah. Yeah. In some ways, it sounds to me like you're just inviting inviting gratitude into your life, which when you don't have it, it's hard. It's empty without gratitude.

Yes, yes. If you want to change something, start with gratitude for what you already have, because only then you can change it. Yeah. I've noticed some of really big shifts. It seems to me, maybe it's because I'm talking to so many cool people, but it seems like even though when you watch the headlines, it's all this despair, like I'm seeing radical changes in people happening really fast. Have you noticed that? Yes, yes. And I actually sometimes think it's because there are so many dark things happening. We need more light. Everything is always a balance, right? There's dark, but there's also a lot of lights. And the darker it gets, the more light we need. So. Yeah. And we're back to balance, just like that. Well, Ivana, we're coming up on an hour already. And this always happens whenever we have, crazy questions whenever I have like a lot of crazy awesome conversations they go by super

fast and so before I let you go though where can people find you what do you have coming up and what are you excited about okay people can find me on LinkedIn or on social media I'm in von the Dom so you can you can find me just Google it or my company's name is Amaze Yourself reach out connect I would love to connect I'm also a member of the Octopus Foundation, so you can find me there. I'm a founding member. Maybe that might seem easier. What am I excited about?

I'm very excited about I'm going to host a clinic in January. The reason why I do it in January is so we can finally relax in December and just enjoy the holidays. But it's going to be an amazing clinic. It's going to help you to set your business up for success. I'm going to provide you with the framework that I used for my one-on-one clients. One of them doubled their business, honestly, in six weeks. She was so like, what? So I've taken that framework, and I'm going to walk you through it in three days.

It's just an hour a day. And I'm going to give you all the ins and hours. Basically, what we talked about today, you know, what made you feel good? What are you going to keep? And that's going to be phenomenal. So it's the CEO clinic. It's coming up in January. That's what I'm very excited about.

And what was the other question again? Where can people find you? Did you name your website? Oh, my website is amaze-yourself.com. Nice. What if people wanted to go to this clinic coming up? If they go to your website, can they sign up for the clinics you have in January? Yes, for sure.

Or shoot me an email when you, or connect with me, and I'll happily, I love it. Well, hang on briefly afterwards. I'll speak to you briefly afterwards, but to everybody hanging out with us today, I want to say thank you for spending some time with us. I want to encourage you to go down and check out the show notes and the links and reach out to Yvonne. She's an incredible coach with an incredible list of referrals that you can go and look for yourself. But she's helped a ton of people. She's insightful, and she has a very unique way of making people become the most authentic versions. of themselves. So go check her out. Do yourself a favor. That's all we got for today. Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you have a wonderful day. Aloha.