Trusty Hogs - Ep100. ASK US ANYTHING

Episode Date: September 21, 2023

Episode One Hundred. What a treat, what a privilege, what a journey! It was genuinely quite emotional answering all your questions and reflecting on the last two years. There's a lot of silly in among the sincere, you'll pleased and unsurprised to hear, and some fun 'Would You Rathers'...OUTSIDE IS AWFUL (Zoom Shows): www.ticketsource.co.uk/kerfuffleThank you so much for listening!Support us at https://www.patreon.com/TrustyHogs for exclusive bonus content, merch, and more!Trust us with your own problems and questions... [e-mail] give us a follow @TrustyHogs on all socialsBe sure to subscribe and rate us (unless you don’t like these little piggies - 5 Stars only!)Thank you to our Patreon supporters...EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Guy Goodman / Simon Moores / Mary Fox / Annie Tonner / Sarah Jarque-Deakin / Oliver Jago / Anthony Conway / Matthew ThomasPRODUCERS: Richard Bicknell / Elle / Richard Bald / Neil Redmond / Victoria Hutchison / Emma Walton / Harald van Dijk / Tim & Dom / David Walker / Rachel R / Sadie Cashmore / Claire Owen-Jones / Jess & Nick / Zoë / Sarah & Molly / Raia Fink / Cordelia / Rachel Page / Helen A / Tina Linsey / Graham Marsh / Amy O'Riordan / Abbie Worf / Kie Web / Matt Sims / Luke Bright / Leah / Kate Spencer / Tristin / Liz Fort / Taz / Klo / Becky Fox / Amie / Emily Gee / Alex McPugh / Dean Michael / Glenys Wood / Stefanie Catracchia / Sophie Chivers / Marc / AnthonyWith Helen Bauer (Daddy Look at Me, Live at the Apollo) & Catherine Bohart (Roast Battle, Mock the Week, 8 Out of 10 Cats)FOLLOW HELEN, CATHERINE & ANDREW...@HelenBaBauer@CatherineBohart@StandUpAndrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the 100th episode. I am too emotional to do this. Helen, we've both got our shoulders out. We're shimmying into our century. I can't believe we're 100 years old. A 100 episodes. I remember when we were four. We were little.

I thought I'd have love by now. You were supposed to be married. We've fucked up our lives. All we've done is this podcast. Yes. It is crazy that you made me promise that it would be over if I got pregnant or had a baby, was that it? No, I baby, you married.

Yeah, and neither of us has managed either. No, the only thing that we've progressed on in the last hundred weeks of episodes is Andrew's teeth are now straighter. Two years. And they're still not done. The fucking braces are still on. For fuck sake, 100 episodes.

We've achieved nothing. No, congratulations. We've achieved 100 episodes. Shake, air shake. I don't want to touch your hands. And there's so many really sweet animals in the world and they're just ignored and then it's left to die in the world. Well, just because you looked at some Highland cows minute ago.

She was just on the algorithm. And I need you to stop with the Highland cows. I need you to stop. No. They get so chilly in winter. I can't with this. I can't. But then they have lots of hair and they're very fluffy.

They do. Welcome to the 100th episode of Trusty Hogg. Woohoo! Step forth the trusty hogs. Yeah, you're gonna give them your problems and they will solve them or maybe they won't and that's your problem.

They'll have guests and Andrew White on the tech. Oh, it's Helen and Catherine as the trusty hogs. Trust the trusty hogs or maybe not. The only thing we've achieved is that I know what to do with my curls. now.

What? Like I know how to make them curly and not. Oh, that's good. That's good. What? I was like, they've looked the same for the last, like, since the, I don't know exactly what week it was, but the one where Catherine cut a fringe. Oh, and the fringe is gone.

Hallelujah. You've actually regained loads. My hair slightly darker in colour. Not this week, but just in general than when we started. Here's the thing, Helen. I've had... I've gained a bit of weight, I guess, since we start. probably.

Yeah, you should listen, haven't we all. I'm going to say it's not on that point. On the hair point. Your hair is much darker because I searched Gifts for Helen Bauer on Instagram and there's one of you and it's so blonde that I was like, isn't that actually Helen? I had to Google the hypothetical clip to make it. I have a gift? Yeah, it's you on hypothetical.

What am I doing? I'll find it for you. Why are you Googling this? Don't say wanking. No, I wasn't Googling it. It was on Instagram. There's a feature where you can make a story out of a GIF. And I was like, oh, let's see if Helen has a gift.

I don't know why. I should have searched for you as well, Catherine. But it's you saying it's been an absolute blast. That's so harsh that you haven't even checked if I... Oh, yeah, my hair's so blonde then. It really is. Am I wearing the same dress? You're so tan.

She has one nice thing. I literally have like four outfits. She has one nice thing. I've worn repeat outfits on TV so many times. That's fine. We're not fucking millionaires. Exactly. That's fine and it's sustainable.

I believe in sustainability. Taking a lot of flights at the moment, sure. If you search Catherine Bohart, the first thing that comes up is Moira from Schitts Creek. Stop, that's amazing. That's so harsh. How many on your algorithm, though? When I do it, my ex-partner comes up.

Woo-hoo! I would love to be attached to someone that intent. Maybe if I typed in my name, maybe like Sineal Patel would come up. Ellen and I are thinking... Probably you. You'd come up for me. Yeah, I think so. I think so, too. That's cute.

Ellen keeps pitching, or you'll do. Or you'll do too. What a second season that would be. But we're not here to go over our relationships. Because we both have them. We do have some AMAs about past relationships though. Should we avoid them? Fabulous.

No, no, no, let's get into it. Okay. Do you want to explain what we've done? Okay. Yeah. Oh my God. No, no. How have we not managed to figure this out?

This is a hellish start of the episode. Welcome to everyone. episode 100 of the podcast, Trustee Hogs, where we tell you about our gorgeous lives and we help solve listener problems. More importantly today, we've done 100 episodes. We're going to celebrate. How are we going to celebrate?

Well, we've asked all of our patrons and you are dear listeners to send us in your questions. We are going to do and ask us anything. We might live to regret it. And I do think we're both allowed, shall I say, we're both allowed one pass for ourselves and we're both allowed one pass for the other. person and that's it. So if I think you shouldn't answer something. And that's it. But we don't have to use

them. But we only have one, no, no, no. But you're allowed one for the other person where you can veto that they're not allowed to say it. Okay. One where you can offer yourself. Which means that you cannot have vetoed anything before, Andrew. All right. Oh my God. Should we have a coffee before we do this? Because now I'm nervous. No, you have enough energy. You're ground. No, I think I need a coffee. I think you're fine. Andrew can I have a coffee? Andrew's not in charge here. I knew you were in charge I fucking knew it and for all these fucking hundred weeks

you've been like I know Andrew's the producer Andrew's the producer but I know you meet our behind my back and you plan these things I knew you were in charge you fucking piece of shit let me into the meetings

let me into the I won't do what happened last time I promise I won't get drunk let me into the room is this where you plan like dates for us to do trusty hogs live and stuff how do you think those happen? I don't know.

Oh and by the way if you stay tuned to the end of the episode we have a huge announcement which Helen might also be finding out of bed because she never listens in the meetings that she does attend. Then why don't you answer the fucking emails? There's been email.

Oh my God. That's ridiculous. Text messages you don't reply to. Well sometimes in the WhatsApp group because I've got WhatsApp and Signal and a couple of other different messaging things for my Pokemon group. Oh, I got an email?

And I won't respond to it. Can we, this is the worst start ever to our. Okay, episode 100, we're best friends. And we're doing Ask Us Anythings. Off you go, Andrew. I thought of one more stipulation. For what? But they ask us anything.

Yeah. Maybe we could have an option of like, I'll answer it, but for the patrons. Yeah, fair, fair, fair, fair. Like, just in case. Yeah, I like that. Just in case, because it's still a smaller community where we... Those people pay for our secrets. I get it.

They, yeah, yeah, yeah. And sometimes it's like what's comfortable telling a certain number is not comfortable telling another number. All right, enough stipulations, enough trying to get out of it. Let's have the questions, Andrew. Let's fucking go. How many questions are we talking, Andrew? There's quite a few.

How many you got? I got at least 40. Fucking hell. Let's give it a go. Some of these will be one-line answers. Yeah, straight. I'm straight. Well, that's, now I've only got 10.

We'll start gentle. We're starting. God, that means this. It's like a challenge on I'm a celebrity. I know. Okay, they're a mix. They're a mix of like, oh, what's your favorite, blah, blah, blah. And like, oh, would you rather's?

And then some very deep, intense personal questions. Okay. I actually like that mix. But we'll start with the would you rather. Please. If your hands could squirt a different liquid out of each finger, what liquid would you like each finger to squirt? Coffee, cold iced water, orange juice,

five alive from the early noughties, which is a drink orange squash already diluted apple and black current squash already diluted red wine

rosé cider vodka shots why does it need to be diluted if you have water on one of the fingers no because it's just then awake and just go ah

I would like them to squirt these two these two Sacco and gin and tonic no it's correct these two these two fingers I like champagne

two fingers for champagne yep I want to be able to like giving people glasses as a go. Oh, that's charming. Yeah. It's very nice. A warder. A wardery thumb, for sure. Don't mind a bit of peach squash

diluted. You do love your Robinson's peach. A little bit of peach squash. And then maybe maybe like a Diet Coke or coffee. Coffee's nice. Yeah, I thought Diet Coke, but then I thought I'd be on it too much. My entire left hand, oil. I'm going to be rich. That's smart. Like petroleum

oil. Yeah, I'm going to be fucking loaded. oil oh can I change one of black gold baby I'm sorry you have committed now I also think I should have a lager for the lads you know also sorry to like not help

the environment but I don't know what liquid is environmentally friendly and is there a sustainable liquid that provides energy well I mean if it's coming from your fingers surely it's sustainable oh my god that's good no wait because isn't it the burning of the fossil fuels that's the issue

also Catherine would get kidnapped so fast like the person would get a limited source of oil Oh my God, I'd get kidnapped! That's so exciting! I don't want oil because I'd get kidnapped and that's why I didn't choose it. Smart, that's very smart. I think ahead. I can't believe I had this risk now.

Oh, I'll tell you what I also like. Do you remember when we went to do that podcast for Jamie Lang and we went in his officers and we went a bit mad stealing? That was really good by the way. I enjoyed that. Is it out? Yeah. Is it? Nobody told us. Did you not know?

Oh, really? It's called Write Me Dirty. I didn't get me after. Catherine and they write fanfic about each other Why do they not release our clips? Why do they not? I found out from the

Trustee Hogg's Discord. We're not on the Discord Okay, fascinating. And you never will be. All right, next question? Next question. We should listen to that. This is from Cicada.

Hi, Cicada. The last question was from, it was from, I will find out but yes. We just know that we appreciate you. We do appreciate you Neve, yes Neve. Okay last question was from Neve, thank you need

this is from Cicada, let's go I love a Penelope retrospective Have her readings held true so far this year Did they resonate the first time Penelope is of course our resident psychic No, Cicada, they did not ring true I am not doing well financially As you know from last week's episode

If you're a Patreon I've been spending a lot of money on congestion charge fines I wouldn't say that anything too specific has happened however the information to follow me in my intuition and to not allow other people's opinions in I think it was like

the right thing to say at the right time in my life I think it's so easy to allow other people's opinions or you should do this you should do that and it's like sometimes I don't realise that like I can say like no I don't want that doesn't make me comfortable I don't want to do that or like and it's like following intuition to be like we've spoken about so many times

on the podcast but when you're a freelancer particularly you're like if I don't take over the opportunity then I don't want it bad enough then I won't earn money then I won't be able to do this as a job and I've definitely been able to recently be a bit more like no that's not right for me I don't need to do that yeah that won't make a massive difference to me if I do it or not but it will take a toll on mental health if I take another like five nights out of the flat and I think that's really resonated true and everything else she says

I don't remember it all right now so it's a no from me and a yes from Helen so in other words exactly where you expect is to get up Your intuition did also put four-pest-free tablets down your gloves. Sorry, sorry, Helen. That wasn't my intuition. That was my dyslexia. That's a learning difference. I have a learning difference.

Did she predict that you were going to wet yourself naked in a stairwell? No what, you know what? Next question, Andrew. But also, she saw into my soul and she told me what I needed to know at the time. If she'd have told me when you go to Australia, you'll get locked out of your room naked, pissing yourself, I might not have gone. She did also predict that my girlfriend is not the one for me and I like her, so she's wrong.

Well, do you want a question about your girlfriend? We'll see. Oh my God, a question about my girlfriend. I don't... Oh my God, Catherine hates talking about Ellen. No, not a question about Ellen. This is from Josephine. Actually, another person also asked the same question. Given it's worked out and they've been together for a year,

could Catherine tell us how she met Ellen and got together with her? We've got clues and such from the podcast extras and also from Nish Kumar Live. But, like, how did they get locked in a room before Catherine's show, et cetera? Have we never told this on the podcast? No, okay, let me get into it. So, basically we, okay, so I knew of their double act, Brittany. And I knew Charlie, who's the other member of it, who's in our podcast, a little bit.

And I thought Ellen was cute, but didn't know if she was queer or if she would fancy me, obviously. Didn't know if she was She had a bob when I last saw her Yeah but like Now obviously Okay they've been gone for ages But like even with the bob Then we

So I was like I'm just gonna convince two of my friends To come see their show And the premise of the show was Does anyone fancy us Which of us do you fancy? So I was like I don't know I fancy her

How do I do that? So I messaged Charlie and was like Can I get you guys a drink? What a great show Charlie didn't reply And then hours later It was like sorry We were playing cards in the meadows

And I was like Well there's an absolute shutdown if ever there was and we were playing cards I was like fine that's cool but they genuinely were I was of course they were they fucking love cards that and Monopoly deal I can't Anyway

It's all they do You guys should really hang out over I've only played it in German but I'd be up for it What's Monopoly deal It's just a card game of Monopoly where you collect like But it's like there's no board

It's incredible It's so boring Anyway my mom was playing cards So Ellen and her play for hours But the point is that We then I went out I had a break up before Edinburgh

and was feeling quite down and then I met up with like really near the end I met up with Shelf we know him and we love him and I was like no one's flirting with me no one fancies me I'm gonna... Even though a lot of people thought Catherine was done a relationship so they wouldn't have

but they wanted to... And then they were like have you tried going out and I was like no and then I was like fuck off guys I'm not doing that. I'm lame. You were doing a lot of going out at 10 in the morning and buying a plant or a cat.

The next morning, yeah, I was doing my mental health gay thing. The next morning, have a story about that as well, which is that based on my Instagram, Ellen thought I was in a relationship and thought I was, in her words, a mental health gay. And Georgie had a t-shirt, once she heard this for my birthday, had a t-shirt embroidered for me that says mental health gay. But anyway, so, um, Then I went to my director, Charlie Dinkin, we know her we love her. Friend of the pod.

And I was like, oh, God. Every single morning in Edinburgh, I was doing my show. And then the next morning I was talking to her about how it gone. And then she was like, hey, I told her the story. And she was like, yeah. And the thing is, it's like 20 days into the run. There's really nothing to do with the show now. I have to say that I agree with your friends.

Like, maybe, like, when your director is like, maybe you should try going out one time because you seem boring. and um no your show was a lot earlier in the day than other people's as well but it was like you were also at my show for the end of it every single day yeah and then um and then do you want to coffee do you and then i'm nice to you anyway then the point is I went to on the night out and nobody hit on me nobody I was like not feeling it and I was about to go home and just as I was leaving ellen walked in and I was like maybe I'll just save for one more drink um so I bought her a drink and then we flirted

I thought for like two hours and then her friend was like what's going on here and Ellen was like we're fighting and I was like we're not fighting we're flirting Ellen just hasn't noticed yet and then she was like

how about a huh because we flirt in different ways and then we went home together and then the next morning when I came in Georgie's mom who I stay with in Edinburgh was like thank God you were going to bed earlier than I am

does that answer your question How'd you get locked in the plan? Oh yeah And then one morning We were in And George's mom went out And she went out for the day Usually I'd be gone by then for my show

Because I usually used to walk in But I wasn't so she locked the front door So she locked the front door We went down and we were really cutting a fine Like I had to get an Uber to my gig Like I was like already cutting a fine So bad You know

Well when there's a hot lady there, it's hard And then oh so you did lose your virginity that summer yeah sorry sorry sorry what a whore no we were just kissing I'll be fully closed you're just kissing in the courtyard you're doing a lot more when you're in trying

oh shut off and then and then we were like fuck so then so then we had to climb out the window the end does that do they were already together when they Catherine didn't I feel like maybe now we made it sound in the podcast that you locked

yourself in a room with Ellen to be like, do you fancy me? Oh my God, no, Jesus. They were already, they were already frotting themselves senseless. Next question. Well, this seems like quite a relevant next question. From Charlotte. Hi, Charlotte.

For Helen. For Helen. If Helen did finally decide to not be the straightest woman in comedy. Thank you. This is such a good question. I'm already hyped. You have to answer it. Which famous by or lesbian comedian would she want to go for?

Oh my God. That's such a good question. Oh my God, there's so many really fit ones. Yeah, but you have to choose one. Take your time. Take your time. That's such a good question. Can I list some options at you?

No, because then I feel like we're listing and I'll be saying no, but it'll sound nasty, but it's not. Do you know what I feel like I just need to pick the one. Okay, I'm just going to like do a scenario in my head. Okay, it's late at night. I'm at a gig. We're doing the gig together. They're backstage. Obviously, just to be clear, Catherine Bowhart is not an option in this and neither is Ellen.

Oh, Ellen is. No, Ellen can't be an option in this. She is. Then I'd probably, I'd probably frot Ellen. No. Woohoo! Honestly, me and Olga Koch would have the ride of all time. Do you think Olga?

We'd have such a great ride. Me and Chloe would argue too much. I know Olga's got the energy. I'm going to go for cock. Of course. The most straight woman choice of the bisexual. I'm going for cock. She's going for cock.

That's the straightest answer you could have given. I'm going for cock. That's very funny. She's still the best. the straightest woman in comedy That's so hot Could you imagine? It's just such a straight answer

That's so funny I don't think all the cock is a straight answer I think it's just like The word cock is a straight answer Her energy Do you get the jokes I do But

Fair fine But just know that I would have a good Gone most of the girls Carry on Funny funny Are you picturing this like Backstage at the Comedy Store no meaning

there's quite a tight space not really you know when there's no other comedians they're going it's not the same on stage of the comedy story on stage yeah they have 25 pounds

it's not enough no I agree you gotta pay a lot more for that all right Andrew next question fabulous question whoever that who's that from Charlotte thank you Charlotte

what's the surname of Charlotte I don't know I've not taken surname's damn it what careers would you have if not comedy this is from Yaz's what careers would you have

if not comedy midwife Yeah Yeah That's nice I really like that for you I think you'd be bringing down it Um

Um Um Motiv Um Fuck You really don't know Librarian In like one of those really

Fancy libraries No I think Probably Motivational speaker Mental health nurse Oh, shit, I think I'd be like... You'd be good at everything you do.

No, I think I'd be like a teacher. Yeah. Which I'd be bad at. No. So you'd be a bad teacher? I think I would be very moody and I don't think that's fair to children. I'd also like to work in a craft shop specialising in dollhouses. My, actually, ideally, pastry chef.

Really? Yeah. I'd also like to become one of the, like, new Brendan from coach trip. Yeah, like that. Okay. Like a tall guy, a coach trip. tool guide for like americans coming over and being like this is stone hint i like that i can see that for you thank you everyone um who oh hmm we've got shagmary kill fuck helen andrew katherine and

kloy pets obviously take yourself out of each equation okay okay all right i'm ready wow that was quick go on then katherine shag mary kill me helen clopets shag chag chloe pets because she's the only one of you He knows what they're doing with me. I've masturbated. I know what I'm doing as well with you. No, shank Chloe Pets. Sorry, Anne. Sorry, Andrew.

Peace be with you. I'm going to have to kill you. I'll tell you for why. It's as shocking to me, as it is to you, because I think that I want to be the most Ept one in my relationship. And we are the same part to a marriage. Wait, what's Ept? You're inept.

Oh. Oh. Oh, that was unkind. I just think that if you and I'm, to be clear, I think we'd have the happier marriage. But I think that I'm a, I have a savior complex. Fair, that. And I also think that realistically we were the same guy and each marriage needs one of us, I think. That's my opinion.

No, I can see that. I can see that. Okay. So yeah, I'm marrying Helen, I guess. Okay. Sorry, Andrew. I'd fuck Andrew, because I imagine the soundtrack would be so theatrical. And I've never done it to Phantom of the Opera, but it's sort of a dream of mine.

Oh my God. I love them. I think we'd have a wonderful night. Like, it'd be fun. Neither us would feel good. No. We'd have, like, we'd make a play of it. It'd be role play, and it'd be joyful.

Hell and good role play is a big man. That'd be kind of sad. Pet does piss me off sometimes, but so do you. Oh, God, you're both quite frustrating. But also lovely, lovely, lovely ladies. Tough with friends. This is a tough game. I will kill.

game man I think I'll kill Catherine yes I'll kill Catherine I'll marry Chloe yes but in a nice way I'll kill her in a nice way she won't see it coming

just a bullet in the back of the head she won't even know it like a cow stun her why are you marrying pets she wants maybe like 10 minutes more patience than you in general situations

also with love like a slightly slower walking pace like still fast but not quite as fast as you I feel a lot of the time She's got such long leg No I feel a lot of the time when we're walking on the street

I'm like having to Like I feel like a naughty child Who's like gonna lose their mummy Because you weave and I'm too big to weave I can't weave because it's so obvious If I nudged someone Why have you never said this? I could have adjusted I have said so many times

And you go keep up Keep up! Come on Helen! Yes! But aren't you usually like eating something or smoking and that's why you can't keep on. We have to adapt because if we're married we must...

I'm not always eating walking down the street. Always eating. Always eating. I smoke standing still. I don't walk and smoke. I think that's gauche. I think it's ghost.

I think it's ghost to do that. No, Catherine, I'm sorry. I think if we fuck it would be a tutorial or like a lesson and that's not necessarily fun. I think it would be like a medical and I think if we got married.

I'd be like, what's that? You've got to get that treated. You need to get that. that needs the tweezers that needs a cream i did tweeze it the other day yeah it's still a cyst but the hair's that we so andrew um i'd probably go the same as helen chag helen for the sort of experience of it all yeah i think especially because neither of us our hearts won't be in it section our parts won't be in it yeah yeah um so i feel like we will put a lot into the ambiance oh come on christine and christine diane and the phantom like doing the whole i love that

We could pick a different, like, sort of musical theatre partnership for each act of the... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like a West Side Story moment. Yeah, lovely. I think we didn't, we'd have a nice night for something that would be tricky for us, yeah. And to marry? I think, hmm, similar logic about the... Someone has to marry Caff when she'll die. No, it's okay.

Let's ask pets. Yeah, I will say... It's okay, let's ask back! I will ask Chloe to voice note in her opinion here as well. We'll ask her now. Yeah, that's fabulous. I think I think I would marry Chloe. I get it.

I really get it. I think if I wanted to watch the football, you would send me down the pub. I feel like I wasn't be allowed to watch it in the lounge. Oh my God, you're so right because it's the good room. It's the nice room. You're dead right. You wouldn't be laid in there at all, to be honest with Andrew. Yeah, so I think for the pure sort of continuation of my current life.

The horrible thing. I would go for Chloe. I'm married Capwin. I think I'd be very happy and at peace. And like, what's the word? I wouldn't have to worry. I'd worry for not marrying you, Catherine. But I think maybe I need a little bit of worry.

I'd worry all the time, marrying Catherine. I'd make you eat less bait. And you'd hate that. That's going to be a problem, yeah. Yeah, you'd hate it. I'd be like trying to diversify your intake. I wouldn't be able to go to the toilet. I wouldn't be able to eat without a plate.

I wouldn't be able to. You'd have quit smoking within six months. You hate it. That's good. That's tempting for me. I do want to quit smoking. so that that then tempts me to you. But I also think Chloe can bring that energy too

at a slightly slower pace. Chloe Pets is free right now. Let's have it. Chloe Pets. Yes. Okay, hello, you might recognise my voice. This is Chris Tarrant from Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. We have Andrew right here.

We are doing the 100th episode of Trusty Hogs and we're doing an Ask Me Anything. Here is the question for Chloe Pets. You have 30 seconds to answer. Andrew. The next voice you hear is your friend Andrew. Hi, Chloe. I'm so sorry that I'd be made to ask you this, but the question is, shag, marry, kill, me, Helen, Catherine. Easy.

Shag Catherine, marry Andrew, kill Helen. Bye. Bye. Fuck you. And I've hung up. That was insane. I absolutely love that the two actual queer people, queer women, were like, I'll be taking the pro, please. One pro, please.

Is Andrew the only one that didn't get killed? No, Catherine killed me. Chloe didn't get killed. Chloe didn't get killed. I nearly killed Chloe. Yeah. Well, you know what, I'd like to change my answer. Good luck getting off that cliff without my help, Chloe.

Chuck you! I'll chuck you! Dover! Well done, everyone. Well done. I can't believe you just hung up on her. She was being a bitch. So funny.

Next question, please. So did the Shagmarry a kill? Who are moving away from sexual questions? But I love you, Catherine. I love you too, Catherine. Oh my God, I love you too. We just don't want to fucking marry you. Oh, and that's totally fine.

And I love you both, but like... You want to marry Helen, no. But I don't want to live in the same house as either of you, so it's fine. We got this. We both wear dresses. I know, be so nice. I'd get a little Janet cup just to surprise you. Stop it.

Yeah. I'd take out my bad tip for you on the wedding day just for full circle. And I'd walk down the aisle to the circle of life. Why, it's perfect, because that's what I call my... Anyway, let's go, Andrew. A little ginger stinger. Nice. This is from Chloe, and she says,

who do you get your advice from? Obviously, we dish out a lot of advice on trusty hogs, or very in quality, but who do you go for life advice? I don't take advice very well. um Helen annoying no you do you know I do

yeah but only like three times a year when you're in genuine peril do you come to me yeah but that's it's always a teary phone call it's never just like genuine day to day

Helen and well to be fair the person I go to probably like most Georgie yeah most consistently is Georgie I have come to you for crisis and I go to Georgie for advice I'm good at crisis

yeah that's probably more accurate crisis is where I shine day to day I go to you for like little things. Yeah. You're very good at sort of being like, that's not even worth it being a thing in your head. Yeah. I should say Francis and Gwyneth,

but I don't know if I do. I'm not very good at taking advice. I would say neither of us are very good at taking advice. Probably my therapist, but even then I'm like, okay, Nicola, we'll see. Show me your workings, Nicola. Show me your workings. I just don't take it very.

I like to call up friends like I'll call Catherine, Gwyneth, Francis, like just for a moan. Yeah, and I'll call up you, Georgie, Chloe to see what you're saying. If I agree with any of them, I'll take that advice. And if I don't love up. I think, Chloe, just do banter. Sometimes I'll ask my sister for advice if I know it's like I need to go over because it'll be so brutal.

Like, I'll be like, oh, I don't know what you should wear to this thing. Or like, do you think I should do this gig or this gig? And she'll be like, no one cares. You're such an embarrassment. You're such a fucking loser. And I'm like, thank you so much. Love you, love you. And then just hang up.

Great to talk. Bye. At least I know exactly where he stands. She's like, it's an embarrassment and everyone hates you. Love that. Okay, thanks. Love that.

I'd say get yourself a young, aggressive, autistic woman in your life if you're missing one. Yeah. Yeah, love that. Who do you go to for comfort? Because when I'm in, like, if I just need someone to, like, to mammy me, but also be, like, sort of fair, but very, very kind, I go to Karen. For comfort.

Definitely, Francis and Gwyneth. Yeah. Lots of teary, cuddly nights. My friend Alice as well is incredibly, like, mother-like, comforting. Also, my mother, over the years, not as of late while we're working on our relationship. But, yeah. Not Sunil Patel or my father, I'll tell you that. Work advice, Sophie Duker?

Very good. Really? Very good. And if I'm cucking anything, it's my mother. Nice. And if it's correlated, it's Andrew. Oh, thank you. Well, a little too late for that.

Yeah, sorry. Andrew, next question? Well, we'll stick with advice. And more specifically, from Isabel, what is the best piece of advice and the worst piece of advice you've ever received? I know my best piece of advice from my mother when I was six

and I stand by it and remind myself every single day. Never jump in a puddle if you can't remember the last time it's rained. Never. And I do think that just counts for every day. everyone. Oh my God. Because she was like,

I'm just sick of these fucking kids I've got jumping in these piss puddles. So just, that's just for everyone. That's so funny. Best piece of advice, that's that.

Worst piece of advice. Oh God. Oh, this one still bothers me even though I know we say it sometimes in the podcast. You're so young. You've got ages.

You've got your whole life ahead of you. I remember being 13 hearing that 14, 15, all the way up until now and people still say you're so young and I'm like I don't have that energy

I've got the Go Go Go energy I've got the Vienna by Billy Joel song energy like slow down you crazy child like keep going and I really hate to people

like you've got ages and it's like you don't know that yeah fuck you like but we still say it on this every now and again we literally said it last week

but I think that was more that last time was about like how it wasn't weird to have not done this thing by a certain age not that you shouldn't want it but that it's not weird to have done it

by then but the um the slow down thing like i think all three of us have like run at life very fast which i think is amazing and a great thing and when you're told to slow down it has a similar effect on me as when people say calm down which is like inherently just like you're telling me to change your way and also like we're our expectations for our life and ourselves can be different so everyone always says like slow down you're not in a rush it's like well look at you look at you I fucking um I don't want to work in sewage with my dad

you know like that she's I don't want it I don't want it um best and worst advice I guess all worst advice I've ever received has been to do was like um diet advice diet culture is but

listen to maintenance phase and the best advice I ever received is that oh god it's so cliché go on follow your heart because I swear to God I'll chuck you out of the room My dad's always like you never know

what somebody has going on at home. It's like his go-to phrase, you never know. And I think that it's a lesson I've had to learn a thousand times, a thousand times. I'll be like, what the fuck is that? Like, and Ellen always says to me because I'll like come in fuming and she'll be like, yes, that person exists to be, they're actually, they're motivated to be a villain. And then I'll be like, okay, well, maybe they're actually trying to be bad. But there are some villains out there.

But like, my point is that like, yeah, I think I often forget that, like, like everyone has something going on. Often there's people you don't know very well. Often it's things you don't know anything about or won't know anything about forever or for a long time. People have shit going on. Hello, it's Helen Bauer plugging my tour. What are you doing, Helen? I'm plugging my tour. My new show, Grand Supreme Darling Princess, is on tour at this very moment. I'm in Harris this weekend. I'm in Harlem this weekend. And then I'm going to pool. I've got a week at London at the Soho Theatre from the 25th to the 30th. I'm Brighton, Maidenhead, Manchester, Winchester,

Belfast, Cork, Dublin, Leeds, Nottingham. I'm everywhere. I am everywhere. Go on to my website, helenbauer.com.com. UK. And please book tickets and bring the coolest, coolest people and ideally Disney fans, because it makes such a difference. Love you so much. We will go to Sadie. Hello, Sadie. How I think we know who that is? How many say this is?

Hi, Sadie. Not really a question, but what would be everyone's roses and thorns of the last 100 shows? A single rose and single thorn. A great question. A great question. I know what my thorn and my rose are. I don't know what my rose is.

go on go first okay my rose is how incredibly successful it's become I genuinely feel like the amount of support we've had is so it's really hard to know if you're doing anything right sometimes and the joy of the podcast has been like watching the numbers go up on Patreon

watching the numbers go up on listenership watching you guys come to our shows meeting you after shows that has been like I don't think I've had that from anything else like any other job I've done in this field where it's like really rewarding like yeah it's just sort of immediately like I feel like we built a community of people

who also matter to each other and who and like the fact that when people do come up to us afterwards it's usually to say like oh I look forward to that morning because it gets me to work or because it gets me to okay we have such different interactions so nice well yeah and so it's really nice and that would be my rose and my thorn

if I'm honest is the level of detail I now know about your body as if if that was your thorn then how come there's so many follow-ups post-records how are you feeling now

is that okay yeah you've made me feel utterly responsible for you unbelievable um okay my thorn I'll do in picture no really yeah okay yeah fascinated no what about your rose though my rose what intrigue now even i want to hear the patron about that i mean be there because i will be i guess i want to say i mean it is what katherine just said but i feel like

i should have something more specific than that yeah i should have my own one um like it yeah it's just I love that we've done it and kept it going and I like that we've become even closer and stronger as a team as it's gone on I don't know if everyone's aware of this but like there's so many times people do podcasts and it's sort of like their friendship sort of goes or like it becomes like a business

but not something where they we get to have fun together and I love that we managed to do it that's actually so true there was a day last week we hadn't seen M in ages and she was able to come and we were all losing our minds we were like the whole gang like yeah that's really special yeah you're right that's so nice obviously meeting the hogs and like seeing people come to stuff oh that's so nice

yeah I don't know just the general the whole thing Andrew um I mean my rose I echo obviously both your roses um but your actual rose I think I think I will change it for variety but that will probably be my roses is keeping going everything um I think for me personally the having the hogs support my staff comment on TikToks and come to shows and stuff is really cool because I you know I don't have any like TV profile or anything I don't really have like a massive fan base and I think it's been a quite a large injection of trusty hogs people who have come over to watch my content and they love you yeah so I really like that my thorn um okay I've got a thorn I'll say now the time that Andrew and Catherine got free tickets to the Lion King and went

without me. Oh, I'm sorry. Thank you so much to Georgie. Our listener, Georgie, thank you so much. That really just came in. You were like, boom. Feel free to send more, Georgie. I'm back to me.

My thorn probably will be, would be like the very early days when we were like trying to turn it over for like the next day and I was up at like 2am editing and stuff. And also we weren't even making money back then. So it was a lot of work and travelling into London.

Yeah. But it's been well worth it. So a thorn, I was very willing to suffer. Woo-hoo! And you did suffer. We were so bad then. Our records were so long. It was stressful.

And we had no idea what we should share and what we shouldn't share. And now we don't even think. Now we don't even care. We don't fucking scare. Now we're like, we fucking are, bitches. By the beginning, finding out, like, where our line was with our personal life and people in our lives. Yeah. Andrew, next question.

These are great questions. I'm having still a little time. I'm not. so emotional right now. I could cry. Did you not cry? I'm so proud of us. Oh, that's nice.

Yeah, when you put it like that, yeah, I'm really proud of us. I'm really proud of us that this kind of got built out of a bad, shitty thing. Like, we started Gigless during Lockett. I think the fact that it's been like, I also don't think we would have started the podcast without the, there was a confidence in us all, I think, after Giglis,

that there were some people who would listen, and some people who thought we were a good little group. And I said no to doing it for a couple of weeks because I thought me and Rosie Jones were doing another season because we didn't know whether we got another season of Daddy look at me before our studio closed down as well. And it's like how easily it could have just been like, I didn't do it.

I know. And not only did we know that people would support us because they've been so lovely during Giglose. I don't even remember. We had people signing up to the Patreon before we'd release the series. That's right. Oh, I love you all.

Oh, okay, you've got to make me teary now. Next, Andrew. Well, let's absolutely wreck the emotional vibe in the room. If anyone else is feeling emotional, do not go on to Instagram and type in Highland Cowbby. I have a question. Here's one that'll break the,

that I've always wanted to ask you, Helen. You know your bit on stage about your dad waffle stomping his shit down the shower? How did you know about it? Did he actually tell people? That's the anecdote, yeah. That's his favourite anecdote about that. He tells themselves.

That's my bit of material about it, is that he is so proud of the time he was an engineer. Next. Next, now I feel too sick, actually. He went too far the other way. He's my hero. Okay, maybe I'll ask. My daddy. My hero. I won't ask that one next. We'd love to know how Catherine does such a perfect red lip

from Holly. Okay, thank you for the question. Okay, but I want a question similar to that. Okay, here we go. Powder on your lips. You're like translucent powder. You're setting powder first. Then, sorry, at the end, even when you've got done your lip is an important thing. Okay, calm down.

You've got so ever excited because this question was clearly a compliment from a woman and you've immediately freaked out. Okay. You're sitting down in front of your mirror. Start again.

I get my Mac pencil liner. I sharpen it. The narrow the line the better. I draw my line and then I fill it in with on my lip once it's perfect then I fill it in with a pencil as well

because that's going to give you a longer lasting lip. Then I do Mac Cabanero as my lipstick color. Then I put translucent powder, setting powder over it. And I will

sometimes, if I put on too much, if I think this is going to smudge, I will blot it with a tissue. But I don't do that thing where people go, on the thing, I just hold the tissue to my lips. And I pick it a scab, wait for a bit of blood to come out and rub it on my lips and go, and I'm ready for a night

out on the town. Next question. I'll often use the same lipstick color. I'll just dab some of it on my finger and put it on my cheeks because then you get the same blush and same lip of the sweet. And for more feminist advice, please write in too nice. Andrew, that's the clip. Thanks for the question. Love the podcast.

This is from Jay. Hi, Jay. I want to know everybody's celebrity crush and, more importantly, if that crush said they were up for it, would you ditch a current partner to go with them instead? Are we assuming then that my current partner is Sinell Patel on my fingers? Um, is it Patel or Fingus? Um, Patel, Patel, Patel. Okay, I'll, I didn't snail for anything. Jesus Christ. Um, okay. Oh my God. I've always got a James McAvoy thing going on. That's just like general in the back of my head.

Um, Jeremy Clarkson just, hi. I don't know why. I'm not okay with it either. Um, oh my God. Do you know the story of Jeremy Clarkson, by the way, why he's, why he became a media mogul? No. His parents were like to make a bit of extra money started like selling stuffed Pallington Bears and then the guy who actually owns the Pallington Bears intellectual property was like you can't do that. They met them in London

to like sue them basically and start litigation but then Jeremy Clarkson's dad met the guy in the lift just by chance they hit it off so the guy was like okay you can have the licensing rights for Pallington Bears stuffed toys they then have the made so much money to send that son to public school and that son became Jeremy Clarkson. Isn't that crazy? Be nice to people in lifts.

You never know if you have going on a lot. I've got the Jason Mamoa thing, but who fucking doesn't? I've also got the Idris Elba thing, but who fucking doesn't? Wow. Just one. Just one. You imagine it? You don't make yourself calm believe.

selling myself on Saw the hogget from Babe that said it Are you serious? He's kind That's your choice He's strong

He's mature Wow Next question Eight from Steps He's also very cute Huh God I'm really panicking And I'm not sure

There's so many good choices Yeah they're not In the whole world While you're thinking I would say I would normally say Troy Savan for this question. Oh, yeah. He's hot, but he's in Australia.

It's going to be very hard for you to meet. Yeah, it will be hard for us to meet. Also, there's been different eras of Troy in how he presents, and I've not been attracted to all of them. Okay. But on the whole, Troy Savan would be my subject crush. I would not leave him to him, though, no. That's so sweet.

You wouldn't. Okay, look, I'm going to choose... Oh, Maui from Moana. Right. That level of big lad, if we're doing cartoon-y sort of vibes. We're not. Okay. Kate Blanchett and Ellen would be offended if I didn't.

Fair. Fair. And Kate Blanchett's fucking hot. Like from notes on a scandal when she slept with a teenager. No, like for, although thank you for comparing me to a teenager. No. You're welcome. From Carol. While we are also turned on, well, mainly Helen,

there is an early episode reference to the scene in Friends. Apparently, early in the Trusty Hugs episodes, we reference the seven original zones. Yes! Yes, I remember this. The seven, seven, seven! Yeah. Monaco's showing Chandler, the Aboriginesones. Can you please teach us what they are?

It's confused me from years. That's from Jessica. I think I was asking as well. Okay, clit, tip, nipples, ear, neck. This is what I'm saying. I don't know. Ashole, is asshole? That doesn't turn me on at all.

mouse is mouth on a rudderner sign um I oh yes hang on I've got yes

yes lips lips lips lips penis um no I think that they're all based around a female oh sorry um

well the clit and the G spot oh yeah of course and yeah anyone got a penis um

the G spot and the clit the same thing we're arguing back of knee or something is there like a knee one a leg one ass ass

well according According to Monica, it's ears, lips, neck, breast, but in the thighs and vagina. In the thighs, yeah, that actually is a real, else, an erogenous sign. Yeah. Okay, well, there you go, yes, you can. That actually makes sense. There you go. There you go, you're welcome.

You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome, Jessica. Oh my God, I haven't had someone, like, really fancy, like, having their hand on my leg for so long. Yeah, nice. Oh, it's so hot. Oh, it's nice. Yeah, it's really nice.

Can you stop turning us all on? Andrew, Nick. I'm emotional and now horny. This is a terrible mix. All right, well, let's try to turn you off. Please, please. Would you rather perform on stage naked or evidently shit yourself on stage? This is from Lindsay.

You know that the naked one is like a viable option. I've been asked to do that gig. They do it in Leicester Comedy Festival. They definitely do it in Edinburgh. And it's like naked comedy and comedians perform naked. So would you rather do that gig or have a gig where you have evidently shit yourself on stage? Hmm. I mean, both would be quite funny.

I mean, I do naked, because I think you'll be one of many who've done that, whereas how many people have actually shit themselves on stage? I remember when Hugh pissed himself on stage. What? He, like, sat down behind the keyboard, and he hadn't finished weeing in the urinal. And then, obviously, when he sat down and started playing his music, like the rest of the wee release from him, and then he had to stand up to leave the stage.

It was back in the day when he used to sit down with the keyboard. He was like, I'm going to have to love it with you guys. I've wet myself before he stood up. But weeing and shitting is so different. I'm really struggling to choose. I mean, naked, naked, yeah. Yeah. The thing is,

it would maybe be funny about the poo thing, but you can't really take back that all those people have seen you naked. I don't want them to see me naked. I think I'd have a really hard time being naked in front of that many people. But you'd find pooing yourself. No, no, no, not ideal,

but I assume that that would be against my will. Let's say it's a wet poo. Oh. In a skirt with no... Naked. Yeah. There we go. And you have to stay on stage after the emcees left to clean up.

But I don't want to do either. But I don't want to do naked. No. I don't want to either. This is from Catriona. Hi, Katriana. Do you mean Katrina? Yeah, it's definitely Katrina.

A, A-T-R-I-O-N-A. Katrina. Is that Katrina? Yeah. Yeah, but I love Katriana. Yeah, she's fun. Nice girl. I also read it out loud as Katriana in my head.

Okay. I just said, yeah, I've never seen them before. Somebody has sent us, she has sent us, sorry, not somebody. And some wine glasses. What? What? It's very sweet. They've not arrived yet.

Woo-hoo, thank you. But they will be coming here to the studio. For Helen, not for Catherine. For both of you. And Andrew. For my new house. Perfectly new house. Yeah, and I assume there'll be some for me as well.

Snail don't have anyone. Crazy assumption. We use mugs. We use mugs for wine. Yeah. She sent us wine glasses, thank you so much. If there's not one for me, I think I should have it instead of Helen. She sent them for us.

We'll see. We'll see what comes. Thank you, Katrina. Thank you. I met Helen after the Oslo show. Stop it. My partner was the lucky man to have, look at me. Oh my God, I remember her.

She was in the front row. Yes. If anyone who hasn't seen the show, I do pick one man at the beginning of the show. Scream, look at me in his face periodically for an hour. He was being disrespectful to her partner and we did speak about it afterwards. That's why she sent apology glasses. She must. Which did make me wonder, if Helen managed to achieve a full female audience. That which is my dream.

Who's being screamed about it? Who's being screamed at? God, this woman's great with the questions. I actually know this because I have had this problem before. my main like if we're taking men out the equation the audience members I struggle with the most are girls who find something funny you say even if it is like a bit disgusting or a bit embarrassing

to maybe laugh because it's a recognition of a truth and instead of laughing they go to their boyfriend like ugh like they look at their boyfriend in the room so you won't be able to tell oh my god yes okay then the girls that do that to each other like like she's do you know what I mean or the ones that go like they're babies and they can't laugh out loud and they've got to cover their face and I'm sure it's a society that's taught them they have to do that

but laugh openly and don't roll your eyes other women or people like it's just because people have taught us that we can not say what we think or be open So basically whoever makes you feel remotely threatened Yeah and I will fucking ruin you Yeah next This is from Maddie

I think this is great question Hi Maddie If you can remake a classic movie, but cast hogs, i.e. ourselves and previous guests, what film? We didn't assume they meant pigs, are you? What film? And who? Okay, I know this one already. So the 1990s, Danny DeVito's Matilda, Zinia Wormwood for me, Mr. Wormwood for Andrew, Matilda, Catherine.

Oh, that'd be good. Yeah, and then obviously Chloe's Miss Honey. Love that. And you get Zindu Vita. Oh, my God, reprise are all of Miss Feltz. Yeah. Gorgeous. Selma and Louise.

Oh no. Selma, Louise, Brad Pitt. So which one of us gets sexually assaulted? I mean, both eventually. Which one gets sexually assaulted? At the beginning. I don't know. I'm Susan Sarandon, basically.

I don't know which one is Selma. Oh, I get sexually assaulted. I'm Gina Davis. Yeah. Okay. What a fun part for me. Andrew gets cast as Brad Pitt, though, pretty excited. That's good, yeah, good for me.

It's better than Danny DeVito. True. I don't know. I quite like us as the one. words. That's quite fun. Me too. Ask Zinio and Harry. I know you, Andrew. Oh, um, you know, I'm not, I'm not a massive film person. This is a slight problem. The

correct answer is little women. Right. Um, and your, uh... Laurie. Laurie, no, I, that's not... Fred Vaughn. I'd have put him as Meg. We have, we've talked about our little women in cut things before. Meg, Joe, and I think Beth, I'm only for... Beth as... I'm Joe. I'm Joe, and you're Beth.

I'm Joe. You're as winding him of being sick. You're Beth. You know, you know what Elle is. You're Amy. you're such an Amy I just want to refer you to the colouring book You're in Amy Trusty Hogg's colouring book Which is now

You're ripping out of the door There we go Okay we're back Helen very enthusiastically Pulled out all the cables Whilst trying to grab a colouring book But she's got it now I don't know my own strength

And I'm Joe in that picture my love And this is L for little women If you have a Trusty Hogg's colouring book Obviously turn to page L Also please send us some pictures of you colouring it in We've not seen any yet. Oh yeah, that'd be so nice.

Okay, here it is. But also, to be clear, you're such an Amy and I'm such a Joe. I am clearly a Joe. Yeah, I'm a Joe. Baby, are you kidding? I, no relationship and then finally gets with a bear and turns down guys that are interested in her. You were constantly in a relationship. Freedier, Frisierreiber.

That's the name of Gris, who she ends up with. My love, I just think that you're so wrong. No, you're being such a bear. Wait, can I just actually tell you the truth? I think I'm Meg and I think you're Amy and I hate that it's true. How am I Amy? Because earlier when you didn't think you got to be the person that you wanted to be

you accidentally ripped out all the cables at a tantrum a bit like Amy ripping up the book and putting it in the fire. You would totally steal your sister's boyfriend if you liked him most. Who you're calling? Chloe Pats. Yeah. I don't know. think she has this kind of time on her hands

I feel like she'll be busy now and I hope she is for her sake okay Chloe Petz is busy can people vote on which sister they think each of us is yeah please let us know unbelievable um would you like wow

yes put you know by the trustee host colouring back yeah please do yeah limited stock left you can you don't you know that one yeah one andrew well maybe this is a perfect time for this actually from E who would like a hundredth episode compliment circle

Andrew, do you want to start? Yes. For the whole all hundred episodes from beginning to end I will base my confidence off of that and I will say

starting with Helen Helen your creativity and passion on Trustee Hoggs is amazing I don't think people appreciate how much

you do behind the scenes I do work hard behind the scene just not in the decision making so hard you'd work really hard on the clips so really hard on all the admin, you're great. Yeah, I think it's very easy for people to assume that it's all just produced and, you know, away from everything.

But it's a collaborative effort. We're all in the WhatsApp group making suggestions, and you especially, Helen, are very, very caring of what goes out and what we do to grow this podcast. You're very particular by the standards, I agree. I am. I do. I care that you have good audio quality, everyone. Indeed. So are we both benefit from your standards and your passion and your care for this podcast? Thank you very much. Can I also give you a compliment? Oh my God, yes. You're the funniest person I know.

You are very, very funny. I'll take it. Thank you very much. Andrew, you work incredibly hard on this podcast. I don't think we would have ever made it without you. I'm in awe of how much you know about this industry and indeed the tech side of things, which we are clueless on, or certainly I am. And I'm very grateful to you. You worked really, really hard.

Thank you. Catherine, you always smell nice Thank you Andrew You always have an exciting item of clothing on And I think that's really cool Well, thank you You're welcome, done, done

I appreciate that I didn't get mine from Andrew I know, sorry, I was just coming around to that It's true that you do always smell nice You are the best spending person in the studio Next question, Andrew? No, it's too late No, I do. I smell nice You do smell nice

No, give her another one Otherwise it's going to freak out It's going to freak out I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I've never a little too long or a fetter women, is it? It's going to freak out.

It's got itself sad again. Let's move on. Can I actually say something? Can I actually say something? Sure, yeah. I do. I don't have a genuine compliment. Oh, Andrew. It's not my fucking hair.

No, I think, Catherine, first of all, on pod when we are talking, you are always so insightful and interesting and empathetic. I think as much as we have lots of fun and are very silly and you're, you're very funny as well um i think you're the heart you brings to this show and the heart that you bring out of helen um is uh because i know she can be a just uh wanted cover everything with jokes and katherine does soften me and katherine you make us all much more human and in touch

with ourselves and i i hope that comes across to the listener and also behind the scenes you are so professional and on it you really care about both me and helen um not just in the podcast but You're always looking out for our, like, opportunities. Our actual careers. Yeah. You are a very, very wonderful person. Oh, that's so nice. But I do think you both are brilliant and deserve everything.

And so, of course. This is such an emotional day. Okay, next. Give us another one. That was so nice. That was too nice. I'm Joe. Carry on.

Would you rather cum mayonnaise or sweat mustard? Come mayonnaise. Next question. Interesting. Okay. Because I get sweat around my eyes. It'd be fucking painful. Also mayonnaise with my fingers.

Okay, we're at the chips. Next. Is misdry bad from Alicia? What's that word? It's the equivalent of misogyny, but it's where misandry is where you dislike men or like you're anti-men. Oh yeah, you should never group people together.

That being said. I love men. There was extra context. This is like, is misdry bad or is it sort of okay, like correctively? I kind of find myself drawn towards it, but it should stop. I think there's a difference between like asking for equal rights and misandry and I don't enjoy the conflation between them that happens a lot

but in answer to your question I don't know I see the podcast what do you think we think I love men It's not ideal obviously If we didn't have men We'd only have half babber

When you pot it like that I'm not saying that Frida Agnetta wouldn't have made an amazing band I'm just saying that Ben and Bjorn brought a lot to the table and we left to forget And of course Chess the Musical Chess the Musical. Thank God for Tim Rice as well, being in the mix there.

Benny Beyond a Tim Rice, yeah. Fair play. I know him so well. Next. Do you have any party tricks, asks, says. I'm an incredible host if that's what you mean. Yes, me and Anna Grant used to have one at school where she'd lie on the floor. I'd step over her.

I'd pick her up with her head coming through my legs and her legs around my waist and we'd play to those bums like a drum. Very nice. They loved it. They fucking loved it. That's great. Yeah. That's great. I don't know if we'd be able to, well, we still be able to do it, actually. Anna, remind me to that with your next time to see you. Make us a video and send it to us if you do.

Thank you, Anna Grant. Remind me, please. And so our final question, obviously, there's a few more have gone into the Patreon extras. If you want to go to Patreon, you can see what's been cut, and also Helen's Thorn will be there. Don't sign up just for that because I'll feel self-conscious. Wait on, come on. Start up for anyway. In fact, by the time this goes out, we might already be on a thousand Patreon. thousand patrons just saying just saying and before we go there's a huge announcement but go on yep uh well

it's relevant to this question actually okay going back to sunday the 11th of july 2021 so like getting close to edinburgh last two years ago the first ever gigless live gigless live no it wasn't okay oh my god and we all met up i remember the three of us went to balance yeah and we had brunch before we did it and we were so nervous oh my god yeah go on and then you were all sitting

it was so weird and now we have our own studio just around the corner from Ballons so weird that's really cool Nick were any of you nervous on the day of the show

so for those that you don't know petrified we went and had a drink and I'll worry yeah we got quite drunk actually but for those who don't know Gig looks was an online gig that we used to run during COVID

on Zoom and on YouTube so yes were you nervous and was it weird seeing people in real life after seeing them on Zoom for so long So weird. So weird and also so affirming And a real relief

That the whole thing hadn't been a fever dream To be honest Yeah they were nervous They were nervous to see each other But they were like there was a nervous energy From every single one of us that had I think they were nervous to see each other as well Because they'd all like some people had like

Joined a WhatsApp group and like really formed a community And also like a lot of people came alone Like it was a very nervous excitable energy From everywhere People had come also to like the nervousness for me was like People are driven hours. Happens if we're not what they thought. Yeah.

Yeah, it was terrifying. It's like a first date, but with so many people that you might have conned for so long. Totally, totally. It was petrifying. It was so exciting. And do we walk past that guy I used to date?

Oh my God, yes! Oh, it was a day. A big day. But on the way there, I was like, no! Like, it was just, there was too much going on. Okay, before we go to the Patreon extras, we have an announcement. What?

No, I know. We have got, we have decided. We started as an online gig, and that community was where we got our initial following from. And also, like, we're thrilled the lockdown is over and that we don't have to do online gigs anymore. But there are still a huge number of people for whom online gigs were amazing because of accessibility issues, because they're not from here, because sometimes... Hey, fever. Because sometimes going outside is difficult. And so, we would like to know.

two online gigs. Trusty Hoggs Presents Outside is awful. We've got one on the 31st of October now you might be thinking Catherine but that's Halloween yes but Halloween falls on a Tuesday

this year so you've gone to your party is the weekend beforehand and then on the Tuesday I'll be thinking well I need something to do of the evening I highly recommend coming to Outsides is awful and then watching your practical magic moment that's what we're going to do

I'm going to Catherine to do it we'll be as drunk as ever I found a video of you at my house one of those nights dancing around my living room and you were hammered and the camera was all over the shop and I was like God we used to get absolutely all right in. We got blackout for a while. Yeah so that is October 31st and the second is a Christmas spectacular December 5th, early doors so that you can also do all your work

events blah blah blah and both of them there will be Zoom tickets there will be YouTube tickets there's a cap of 80 Zoom tickets so if you want those get on there early. We are telling you now, because you'll be listening to this earliest, if you're on the Patreon, you'll be listening to this on Wednesday, so you can go to the website. Where will the tickets be, Andrew? We can either go to our link tree, linktura.e.

slash trusty hogs, or direct to the ticket website, which is tickets.orgot.com.com. Because we won't be sharing it until Thursday when the gen pop. Exactly. And hello to the genpop. If you're here, my darling. Hi, Jen Pop! Tickets available for you, too, my loves. And then we actually probably, yeah, we'll share it later. Thursday or on Friday for everybody who didn't listen to episode yet on Instagram, on Twitter, et cetera. But please come. I think it's going to be a joyful

celebration. The lineups are looking so good. Oh my God, the lineups are looking incredible and real trusty hogs faves on the lineups. And also, um, just really excited to see our, if we have international listeners, we'd love to see you there. Anyone, everyone is welcome. Um, that's the beauty also is that like everyone can come because it's in your freaking living room. Yeah, it will also be available on the stream. Yeah. We're 80 captained the Zoom. We're doing what we always did. which is like we want it to be accessible so the ticket prices are very low and then we'll have a donation link

on the night if people, if you're having a great time when you want to donate more you can but the point is we want it to be for everyone so we'll see you there and are we doing dress up?

For Halloween, fuck yeah and for Christmas, fuck yeah! Okay, dress up everyone. Yeah, you missed one of the Halloween ones. Yeah, I had to host with Rachel from Shelf, remember, you missed the Halloween one and yeah, I remember. Why was I not there?

You had something you were sick, I think. Possibly you had COVID. Yeah, I think. possibly you did. Poor Helen. Oh, for God's sake. We'll see you on the 31st of October.

Woo-hoo! Oh, guys, 100 episodes. You absolutely fucking legend. I'm sure you don't want to sing it out. No, but I want to say that thank you for sticking with us and here's to another 100.

Here's to another 100. Please have a baby before. Oh my God, no, this is so emotional. Who the fuck? Step forth the trusty. hogs you're gonna give them your problems and they will solve them but maybe they won't and that's your problem they'll have guests and Andrew White on the tech yeah it's Helen

and Catherine has the trusty hogs trust those trusty hogs or maybe not oh a lovely listener I believe called Sadie. Let me find it. Yes, Sadie, but not Sadie Cashmore. There's two Sadie's? Yes, this is... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Sadie, married lady.

Name that musical. Oklahoma? I actually don't know. Funny girl. Oh, that is very bad of me. Bad guy of me. Sadie Smith, which I can say because she's put it publicly,

has written Trustee Hoggs verse two. And put it on the piano. Just sung her own version of Trustyogs. What? Wait, can we hear her now? Yeah, let me see. How will Hugh feel that he has a competitor? Hugh won't know.

There we go. Ready? Yes. Is it on Instagram? Yes, it's on Instagram. On YouTube. It's so country, I love it. It's so country, I love it.

To their years, you will have flow in all your feelings. Oh, when you're gonna give them some kids and they will love? Or maybe they won't. That's their problem. Elephants and you'll place some in your pants Oh, it's always a good time with the trusty hearts Trust the trusty hearts are maybe not It's always a good time with the trusty hearts

Trust the trusty hearts Or maybe not What? I was prepared to hate that and I fucking loved it. I can literally feel the people of trusty Hog Nation just standing up being like, there's our new anthem.

Lighters at the... Oh my God! That was amazing!