Trusty Hogs - Ep101. SHARON WANJOHI / Dressage, Divorce & Disney Adults

Episode Date: September 28, 2023

And so we crack on into our second century with a brilliant guest for Ep101: the fast rising and hilarious Sharon Wanjohi! We talk about everything from Puss in Boots to sausage sandwiches and there's even a first ever Trusty Hogs proposal...FOLLOW SHARON: @SharonWanjohi_OUTSIDE IS AWFUL (Zoom Shows): www.ticketsource.co.uk/kerfuffleThank you so much for listening!Support us at https://www.patreon.com/TrustyHogs for exclusive bonus content, merch, and more!Trust us with your own problems and questions... [e-mail] give us a follow @TrustyHogs on all socialsBe sure to subscribe and rate us (unless you don’t like these little piggies - 5 Stars only!)Thank you to our Patreon supporters...EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Guy Goodman / Simon Moores / Mary Fox / Annie Tonner / Sarah Jarque-Deakin / Oliver Jago / Anthony Conway / Matthew ThomasPRODUCERS: Richard Bicknell / Elle / Richard Bald / Neil Redmond / Victoria Hutchison / Emma Walton / Harald van Dijk / Tim & Dom / David Walker / Rachel R / Sadie Cashmore / Claire Owen-Jones / Jess & Nick / Zoë / Sarah & Molly / Raia Fink / Cordelia / Rachel Page / Helen A / Tina Linsey / Graham Marsh / Amy O'Riordan / Abbie Worf / Kie Web / Matt Sims / Luke Bright / Leah / Kate Spencer / Tristin / Liz Fort / Taz / Klo / Becky Fox / Amie / Emily Gee / Alex McPugh / Dean Michael / Glenys Wood / Stefanie Catracchia / Sophie Chivers / Marc / AnthonyWith Helen Bauer (Daddy Look at Me, Live at the Apollo) & Catherine Bohart (Roast Battle, Mock the Week, 8 Out of 10 Cats)FOLLOW HELEN, CATHERINE & ANDREW...@HelenBaBauer@CatherineBohart@StandUpAndrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to episode 101 starring Glenn Close. It's 101 Darmatians of Trotty Hogg. I'm Helen Bauer. This is Catherine Bohart. I don't even hate it. I don't hate. It's Glenn close. It's Glenn fucking close.

Hey guys, welcome to episode 101 of Trustee Hoggs. We're comedians. We are. We are. We shouldn't have to say it. It feels like, but yes, we are. We're going to tell you about our lives that we usually have a guest on and they help us solve our listener problems. Now, look, weirdos, I have a bone to pick with our listeners.

I don't believe you think the hogs are weirdos. I said they are too good to us and you wear this is crazy. This is crazy. So, as you were or we not know on last week's episode, the 100th episode, we made an announcement that we are doing live shows called Trusty Hugs Presents Outside Is Awful. Now, I was about to say to Andrew, oh gosh, how exciting people will have started to buy tickets by now and Andrew said by now.

You people found the link before we put it out before we announced it. Andrew, how does that even work? What the hell are you talking about? So the ticket link was the same thing. link that we use to sell your radio work in progress on Zoom and either people have been going back to that page every day or they've got

Google alert on for us or something like that. God knows what's happened but they've found the link yeah about three days before we even announced the shows. It's incredible it's incredible that you found the link. No, that gives me the creeps. Let me surprise you. Tell you what you haven't found? The link to my Soho

theatre shows. And that I have been pushing for quite a while. So if you're struggling to find that, once again, it's in my bio. I'd like to come on Monday. I'm coming on Monday with Ellen. Oh my God, are you actually?

Do you want comps? Yeah? Yeah. You don't believe in supporting women in comedy? Not you. No. I support. I am dropping you up, baby girl.

You're supported. You're leaning. I'm your third leg. Okay, Kathwin. I do comps once we finish recording this episode. Thank you, Helen. Love you. Love you.

And do singer on tour. The trusty hogs Yeah You're gonna give them your problems And they will solve them Or maybe they won't And that's your problem They'll have guests

And Andrew White on the tech Oh It's Helen and Catherine As the trusty hogs Trust the trusty hogs Or maybe not I am indeed Of by the way

I got sent a candle from a listener who has an amazing candle company called Burn Bitch and the candle is called Tories Can Suck My Wick It's Rose and Ood and they're genuinely the nicest, but more than that She has these little tin travel ones They're like little tea lights But they come in little teeny little tiny

Yes, yes, yes! They're amazing and they're called all kinds of things But yeah, burn bitch, check her out, she's a listener and her products are, the smells are incredible and they're really good. I would rarely push something but like it's genuinely so good. I would say with us being, as of recording this like 90 days away from Christmas

it is time to invest in a nice candle that's in a tin. Not for gifts, but just, no, no, not for gifts just to take home to the family so you can be in your room and pretend to be a witch to save yourself. I thought they were really good for travelling. Does that help you in a household where everyone already thinks they're a witch? That's a good point

actually. I might be bringing the spirits in But we're not doing family Christmas in Fleet. It's not in Fleet this year. Where is it? Kingston, I think. You pretend to be a scientist. You could just bring like lots of little lab this. Kingston.

Why Kingston? I've got a cousin that lives in Kingston. So we're all going to go stay in like the premiere in there. Okay. The offer remains, if you choose an Irish Christmas, we're always waiting for you. I'll always premiere in in Kingston. Now that for me is compared to the Airbnb option of last year. We don't have a buffet breakfast, be fair.

We don't have a buffet breakfast. I mean, the premiere in, I don't know if I'll do a Christmas buffet breakfast. just a normal breakfast at Christmas I think it'll just be average How do you know that? I had a bit of a premier in phase Yeah we remember

Yeah Everything's premier about the price That's up though It does add up Yeah it really does When you're on tour Bloody hell Remember that horrendous hotel

We stayed in that I brought you on When you were my tour support We went from like the nicest So we did Unfortunately we did the nicest hotel And the worst hotel back to back So we stayed at like the Mercure Or something really nice than I before

And then we went to Ibis citrus or something or ibis I've stayed in the citrus did you mean the one in Cardiff citrus? No no no no no no it's the ibis It's the cheaper ibis option Yeah it's below ibis budget

Oh the one without the windows Yeah It was horrendous I'm so sorry That's all right It smelled like weed banana and soap All in one Ibis coffins that's thought Yeah because it makes sense

It's not called Ibus coffin It genuinely had that vibe It felt like sleeping in a wet room Does that make sense? Really, really horrid, horrid stuff. You haven't mentioned it. You haven't mentioned it, so I guess I will.

You've been on TV. Yes. Okay. I had something to say about hotels, Andrew. Oh, sorry, go on. What's the worst hotel you've ever stayed in? That one, I'm really sorry, Andrew. That can't be the worst.

That's definitely the worst hotel I've ever stayed in. Oh, my God. Plymouth. There's a gig in Plymouth that gives you a B&B. That's awful. And the receptionist kept showing me Facebook videos of him doing his racist puppet act. oh that's bad that's a bad hotel that's a bad one he had a pubic called Winston he did the voice

and some words that he shouldn't have said oh Winston of course he did the voice Andrew he didn't Winston did you don't need to say that part we know he did the voice no as in like he did like a black voice sorry I meant that's what I meant oh I thought you were like explaining how pop would oh this this Vangelo goes he did the voices and everything I was like I love it when I'm understanding more than Catherine it makes me feel It's so good. It's early in the morning. We don't usually start at 9.30, but we have...

No, this is, this is mad. I've done a Pilates class already. You go fuck yourself. Oh, I have to tell you that. I weed in the shower. We've all had busy days. Poor Seneal. He's not there.

He's not there at the moment. He's in a hands gay. That's hell. That's hell. Can I tell you, I'll go on, Andrew. No, no. I want the worst hotels. There's more. Oh, yeah, that was one of the worst experiences.

But the actual hotel was fine. but I paid once £30 for a hotel room in King's Cross you've said 30 pounds like it's a lot but it's not No no I'm saying 30 pounds is in like It's worryingly cheap

For central London Have I lost the meaning of words It was like a prison cell It was awful Everything was dingy and smell There was definitely stains Yeah I don't think even if I had a mattress

I think it was a futon Great You could leave those So ultimately different To a prison cell at least True very true Actually there is a hostel by King's Cross called Clink.

Really? Yeah. I know Clink. I think I've done a gig there. Oh, that's what it is. I've done a gig there. But I think I stayed at a clink in Amsterdam, you know? I think it's a franchise.

Yeah. I did, I stayed in a hotel in Leicester once and it was like, I was doing my work in progress and I was brand new. And I had to work in the bakery the next morning at 7.30. But there was no train or bus back after my spot. So I had to stay overnight, Leicester, by the hotel. hotel and it was like super cheap and I was like this is worryingly cheap so it's

like one bathroom for the whole corridor the room didn't properly lock and I got pink eye bit of a fun story were they related? I bloody think so I think someone farted on the pillow for banter. It's so sweetly you've said farted to make yourself feel better

they didn't shit on the pillow you don't shit on a pillow you shit in a bed not on a pillow no no no there's different places to shitting people famously shit on pillowcases Who? I have a story to tell that I'm not like... That I'm not allowed to tell you on air. Winston Churchill keeps coming up so often in my life lately.

Really? Yeah, well... As a ghost? No, I just... Obviously, he took over from Chamberlain ahead of the Second World War. Yes. And I'm studying somebody who lived through that period and thus met it.

So, for a TV show that I can't say what it is, but at this point I think everyone's already figured it out. If you know what, if you're like on my Instagram, you'd have to be able to surmise which bisexual I'd chosen. Yeah, I went to Pilates this morning. Greatest compliment of my life. Are you ready for this? Are you ready for this? Yes.

I was just doing my class. I wasn't even like showing off. I was just doing my best in my own little zone. And afterwards, the tallest, bossiest woman from the studio, the best one, the one you want to impress. The Helen of the Pilate studio. Sure, let's say that. But the most, like, beautiful former dancer, I was like... The Helen of the Plot Day studio.

Yes, and was like... Your body looked incredibly efficient today. One more time? Your body looked incredibly efficient today. Okay, louder? Your body... I actually might come. Your body looked incredibly efficient today.

What happened to your body when you heard that for the first time? Well, obviously I melted to a puddle. I was like, thank you so much. I thank you so much. Thank you so much. Efficient. Yeah, I wasn't wasting a moment's energy. I was moving through the movements incredibly efficiently.

Finishing every moment to this last piece. But just like when I was in plank and my ass wasn't in the air. She like said all this. I was like, this is honestly making me. I was like blushing head to toe and I was thrilled. It's the greatest moment of my life. I'm really happy for you. Yeah.

So, um... Are you nervous next week that you're going to overhear her saying it to someone else? Next week, I go three times a week. I try to pretend that. that doesn't happen when you go next next week yeah are you afraid that you're here saying it's someone else why would you say that to me because I have had a lot of times in my life you know when like you walk to a room and someone goes oh my god you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen I love I love your outfit I love your outfit and you're like oh my fucking

yeah I've met gay men and then the next person walks in and they're like oh my god stunning I'm stunned yeah that's gay men I know I know them it's awful I mean, I will say this actually. And Rosie Jones. It's also, can I say, Rosie's the worst. The girls I'm about to move in with, I will say, Annie, you can come down in a ball gown or a dressing gown. If you come down the stairs in that house, everyone's like, oh my God, she's the moment, she's living, she's thriving, she's everything, you're beautiful. And it's actually very, it's really, done off by confidence.

Come on over love, they'll really lay it on thick. Okay, I need to, because Sunil just grunts or pretends I don't exist. No, because I have like two straight women and quite a pervy lesbian They're all like, woohoo, every time I come downstairs, it's amazing And please tell me that one day you're just going to come downstairs naked Oh no, but Ellen already does that all the time They don't like that so much Ellen's a naked wanderer

She's such, she's like an always nude What's the opposite? Like I never dressed It's called a never dressed, never dressed She's a never dressed if anything like she's got to put some clothes on I think that's me

Sunil's away at the moment and I'm just wandering around this morning I woke up boiled the kettle made a coffee you've got to be well have I taught you nothing

look at the scars on my legs you've got to be I'm not using a cafe tiara I'm just pouring it into muggy and then like wandered down to the bathroom like door open brushing my teeth

that is her I think it's like a toddler like quality And also I think neither of you have any, you both have real body security. Like you're both like not spending stupid energy. We're incredibly attractive women. You are. And tall, yeah. And you've both got boobs.

And we know if anyone comes in, we're big and we can take them. Yeah. I mean, she thinks she's bigger than she is. But, yeah, why are we talking about it? Yeah, I could take Helen. I first say, why am I talking about her so much? But then I realized she's away for a week. She's been gone for a day.

And I'm like, Ella, la, la, la. One day she's away? Yeah. So far. So far. So far. So far. So then she's

away for a full week. Her and Charlie got this gig where they do

10 minutes of material in a Greek holiday destination and then they get to stay for a week

in the most exquisite exquisite villa for the benefit of the listener both me and Andrew look angry with our

mouths wide open I know just just one 10 minute gig one 10 minutes are you fucking joking what sort of

posh bullshit is this I know it's insane. I honestly was furious when they arrived and it wasn't like a ruse to steal their organs. They're actually there. It's beautiful. So, and they do the gig and they just

do ten minutes. Is it a line-up show? And they don't have to stay in like a place with everybody else. They just stay in a villa with the other axe. Oh, wait a second. No, no, one of the other acts. One of the other acts. And they like that's a risk. It's the act in his family and their kids. And they're good. They're good. They're good. Last night they did

the quiz. They won. They looked like I'm having a fucking great time. Where in Greece? Zanty? I've been to Zanty. I went when I was 18. It looks so posh. Like I didn't know that was possible.

Oh, there's half. Okay, Zikintos is an island of two halves. Let me just show you this. By the way, I know that it's not, I can't show the people at home, but just for your reaction. Imagine what you're thinking it would be. Google Posh Zanti.

That's fucked up. I know. Okay, it's loungers looking over an infinity pool that looks straight onto the ocean. And when I say the parasol, are clean and white. I say they are clean and white. Honestly, I was about to be like the loungers are white.

They're not even using a cover-up colour. Like there hasn't been a woman who's had an accident after having too much lactose at breakfast on those. There aren't eight men's body prints of sweat there. Okay, sometimes they're women's prints as well. And I'm sick as... And I'm sick as saying that.

I'm sick of it. I, um... I, oh my God, I've got so much to tell you and we've got the guests coming in. Thank you so much for asking. So the show is called Juice. And it's on BBC I player now. Damn it! No, Andrew, can you edit it?

It's by Mouin. Rizwan. It's incredible. It stars Russell Tovey as well. The show is stunning, surreal, beautiful. And I just have a tiny part, but I played sunburned lesbian and no better woman than I. And genuinely, it was one of the best days of work I've ever had. What a absolute

privilege to work across from Russell Tovey. Also, we will put a picture up of Catherine and her makeup on our Instagram main feed. We have to, because I got sent a picture by the makeup artist on it. It was very great. previously being like, guess who I've got today? And I was like, ah! When they put it on and I looked in the mirror,

I suddenly was like, oh, even though it was so believable. You looked incredible. I'm so excited to watch it. They did that great thing. I love it when people do this, where they dump every episode on Eye Player in the same moment. Me too. And it's all just there.

As a writer, I'd be like furious. You'd be like, oh, decades work. Is it just spaffod all in one evening, is it? Spaffodil. But yeah, obviously. It's so good as a viewer. And the show's so queer and wonderful. It's so,

and there's some little in. I'm in episode two. Episode two. I think I play Maggie or Hannah. One of the lesbians. I'd say even if you're listening to this broad gap VPN link, just so you can see Catherine all burnt up playing a lesbian. Who'd have thought?

Who'd have thought? You know, anyone can do it. Having troubles in the bedroom. So it's all very. It's all very on the nose. It's all very method, actually. I don't think we've ever spoken in depth about your bedroom life with Ellen, but I can assume it's fucking hot as shit.

I'm not doing this on the podcast. I'm not doing this on the podcast. Okay, I'm now turning myself on. Just thinking about it. You're so into lesbians for wanting you, aren't you? But those scissors are going to be sharp as fuck. Like, you're going to be straight on the click. Yeah.

Oh my God, no, I'm not talking about this on the podcast. No, stop. Stop it. What is that? Is you sucking a clip? That's a clit suck. Andrew, let's move on. What is Helen's talking topic today?

Well, you've had a terrible time. What is Helen's talking topic today? What have we allotted Helen to talk you about? I've got a lot of things I'd like to discuss. I know, and we've been over this. You can only have one. Okay, here's the thing, Helen. You have actually had, for once, I will genuinely say,

a sympathy-worthy, genuinely crap, 24 hours I go through a lot I go through a lot compared to other people actually That's not quite what I said I've still got thrush cream in my tummy How do I know that

Because I've still shit in myself Wait are you Yeah Francis came over yesterday Like as soon as I got back From the airport Yeah And I was just every fart I did France was like that was wet

That was wet And I was like oh I don't know what's happening So we had to work outside in the rain Oh yes oh my god Oh I went through it Go on Oh it was awful I was

How did that stories start with farts. I was like, hey, you have a sympathetic story and she made it. Because I've been through a lot, I've been through a lot recently. I was gigging in Paris and Harlem this weekend. Yeah, yesterday I had, I had like three big poos by like 2 p.m. But do you understand what shitting yourself means? Like you weren't like you were making it to the bath.

Yeah, the cloth was down. But you were making it to the bath. Yeah, it was on top of water. Yeah. I've never heard that before. I was on top of water. I was on top of water. where it was like, go, good to go, go, go. Go, go. Go, go. Go, go. Pop, poop, poop.

Hello? Catherine upset. I didn't do anything. Okay, so this is what's awful. I was doing, I was doing some international gigs. Shout out to the hoggies that came to Harlem and to the one in Paris who represented so well in an audience of 14 people. I'm not joking. I'm not joking. It was so, I went, Pouqua. Why not? I generally not.

It's impossible. It's tragic? It's... No. It's not tragic. Yeah, it's tragic. No, it's good. No, it's very well.

But wait, why? They, right, so I just, because the French fucking hate me, which is fine, because I fucking hate them. So, like, if anything, just like, you know, on the... What's your beef with the French? The showcase, the vibes. The vibes. Bad, bad, bad vibes.

I'll tell you this. I live. at Disneyland for several months and loved it and then every time I've been back since in particular

when did you live in Paris during my French degree shut the fuck up did you know she lived in Paris I did not know this no

I know you did a French but I don't know you lived in Paris yeah and noncy for a while yeah I was so poor it was honestly

bleak like that sounds but like it was a beautiful city to walk around I did a lot of walking and a lot of sitting in parks and a lot of like, but it was, I was so lonely and so poor that it was like actually quite shit. Like I, it's one of the most stressful periods of my life being like,

how am I going to pay for everything. Like how much, literally like, oh, I couldn't really sleep or think about anything else really like. I was thinking the other day about like what it was those years being completely broke, trying to figure out how to live in London. And like working on Oxford Street. then walking back to Brixton because I didn't have the chew money and it's so like oh my god I used to walk back to

Wilton Green from Knightsbridge but at the time weren't you like this is just part of it uh yeah I romanticised it yeah I definitely have sins but like yeah I think for Fern Brady said this I think on Twitter but it's so true which is like for such a long period of my life I just thought that I was never not going to be depressed yeah and then I made over 25 grand in a year and was like oh I was poor it's different it's different it's different it's so fucking hard i don't know how i mean let's let me not go into a government rant but like no we should do helen's politics corner they're not nice to us but also they're not nice to people they don't support people and they leave them to die and it's non-kind but also like it's so incredibly difficult to be poor especially

this is not our podcast i'm sorry i feel so bad about this member Mexican trip now. Now? Okay. Because it's going to cost a lot in the end because we're going to go to Mexico City and then Cancun. Helen, first of all, you don't need to feel bad about your holiday. You work hard.

But secondly, I think... I do. No, you don't. I perform just 14 people in Paris. But there was one trusty hogs listener in the front who was there for it wearing a t-shirt saying I'm only four. And I was like, God bless you. Because everyone else, all the French people behind them were just looking at me like,

Why is the big girl screaming? Oh, the big girl, she, she keeps saying she's beautiful, but she's not. Oh, the girl on stage, she said her father has never hugged her. I would not ag her girl. She is disgusting. Oh, my God, it's aloch.

Where were your hands? Look at the monster, the British monster. Where were your hands? I was, I was doing some very classy material. Were you? And I'm like, I'm so beautiful. And they were like, no. Okay.

No. You are naked. in a corridor pissing yourself. It is not funny. It is a medical condition. I do, well, it is a medical emergency. You've now, my darling. I'm just going to ask you a little question. You've wiped your nose several times with your hands. Do you need to tissue?

No. Are you sure? I've just tired because of all the flights I had to take. But that's actually the point of the story. It's not that you perform to 14 people and still have somehow are managing to go on in Mexico. What a crowd. What a night. Incredibly humbling and surprisingly very fan.

But what you actually then on the way back was the hell. So then I was in Harlem and I did my show there which was really, really nice and then I went to the airport to get my flighty home and they were like,

I was like there at like 10 a.m. I brought out of sympathy before you finish the story. And then they were like flighty, flighty gone, flighty cancelled. So I was on the easy jet app and I was like, what the fuck do I do now? So I tried to click on the next one and the next flight was at 9.30 in the evening.

So I went through every other flight that was going to like anywhere like even Bristol. Do you know what I mean? Even Bristol. even Bristol and it was just so mad expensive I was like right you know what I've got my laptop with me I've only got carry on luggage

I've got my charger I'm just going to do an airport workday it's going to feel very claustrophobic but like I'm just going to do it doing that doing it I get to like an hour before my flight is going to leave in the evening and it says it's been pushed back another hour so I was like okay cool so we're going to get up to the 12 hour mark but it's absolutely fine yeah and then they cancel it like just before we should start boarding they just cancel it and I was like

those fuckers knew before it landed in the UK from the previous journey that they didn't have enough staff they cancelled it and the only option was to either pay a thousand euros to get to Bristol fuck that and then it's like well what do I do I'm just there in the middle of the night or wait for the next day and have to leave the airport and go to a different city to stay in a hotel and I will say this I was so lucky that I was on the app

at the moment when it came up saying flight's been cancelled do you need a hotel for the night that I pressed yes on it but there were so many people when I came out who didn't even get given that option and the people at the gate were just like yeah you just need to find a three star hotel three star or less and go stay there

and charge it back to us and it's like happens that they don't have that money in their account right now what are you going to do with them why so Helen's just like walking by families with kids being like poor them and then heading on the bus to her hotel. Look, the message of the story is, do not fly, walk. Shall we bring on our guests? Please, everyone, please. Welcome to the show.

Sharon, Joanie! Oh, hi, as you may or may not know, we are doing a live comedy show, a lineup show. It's called Trusty Hugs Presents Outside is Awful. It's on the 31st of October, a Tuesday is Halloween, so why not come along, join us? And you can get tickets where, Andrew? It's a Zoom gig. You can go to our link tree or go to TicketSauce.com.com.

We've got bloody well celebrities on there. Come on. Sharon, welcome to the podcast. Thank you for having me. We've just realised that we've synced. We're both of our periods. I've in a room with two women bleeding out their cunts and I feel uncomfortable.

Oh, my God. I feel aggressive. When you say, I like the idea of a flow. Yeah, I think that's a nicer word. Then bleeding from their... Bleeding from your cunts. It sounds like we're going into war. Yeah.

Here's the thing. I just can't trust you with it. Oh my God. God knows what you're going to do. You could get angry at any second. You could cry at any moment. I'd be asking for rights and shit. Yeah. You have to talk into that.

You have to. I'm so sorry. You've got to leave all the way in. But this is the thing, I tell her that and she's going to get angry now. This is Karen. She's on that period. You know me now. And the next thing I know.

both of you, hands down the knickers, drawing warstripes on. Oh my gosh. Wow. Wow, that went... I feel like I learned a lot about you. There, so fast. Yeah, me too. It was very exposing.

You were just saying that you have a period cold. I do. I know. It's not contagious. So every month, I don't know why. I think it's my immune sister or something, but literally the first day I'm like, okay, I'm out.

Like, my voice goes. It's so bizarre. I can't explain it. Every month. I hate to say it, and I really, really hate to say it because I hate what it says about gender but the thing for me that goes is my spatial awareness and I don't have much to begin with

I have been driving like the three days before my period I was driving and I was like I've forgotten how to drive I was like incompetent on the road and it was just How does that work? Yeah I've never heard that I'll tell you why my mum has the exact same thing I'm way more likely to fall over bang into things

on the way to like around my period even before I drove like I would always end up with bruises around my period because I used to work at where in a cinema and the register was at like my... The register was at my hip level and I used to have just so many bruises across my stuff like that. Yeah. That is so busy.

I've never heard anything like that. It's awful. Why do we get all this shit bits? I just, I'm worried that and I believe you. No, you don't. I believe women, I do. Famously, Sharon, I believe women. No, you don't.

I'm worried that now we've said that people are going to be like to their partners or like any other women in their life be like, well, women can't drive, come they? Oh, no. No, hang on, hang on, hang on, that's how we're like, hold the phone.

First of all, not all women. It's just me and my mom and maybe other women, but like, I'm sure men also have, like, hormonal cycles. They do. Men also have hormonal cycles, so this is true for them too. Men get their period too. But also, I'm talking, like, minor differences where I was, I was worried about it, but like, and I was therefore more careful,

but I really had to be alert because I was like, what the fuck is. One second, were you both, at genuine out of curiosity, were you both doing a bit there when you said? had men get their cycles. They do get their period. Are you kidding me? They just don't ovulate and bleed. Exactly.

There's a time a month where they get weird and when you know a man, like my brothers, I know exactly the date. They get fucking weird. It's not the same as like obviously it's ovulating, but they have,

but hormones move in cycles. Andrew, are you on your hormonal cycle? I don't know. I've never paid attention too much to my body or emotions. Do you ever have a week where you just death for a period for chocolate?

That's most days. I see to take down a Tony's chocolate only big bar without even chewing. Oh, correct. I respect you so much with that, shout. I've never noticed the male period. No, no, it's not a male period. I know they're not bleeding out of their dick.

I'm not a moron. It's like, it's just a period of time where they get extra, you know, sensitive or not to, you know. Basically what we're just going to be is that men have emotions too and it, I'm sure, affects other things. But they're so far down. I don't know, I think I'm quite emotionally repressed. Really?

Yeah, you do, you definitely take yourself away like a dying dog. Yeah, I was going to say, I wonder about both of you, but I think comedy has made me more emotionally repressed. Hello. Because I think it's a defence thing where you're giving so much of your life on stage that I'm like more self-protective. And so it's come, like, I've just like put up a little bit, few more walls, which I know this.

and I know that because I'm dating an emotionally articulate lesbian God, power to you I don't know how you're doing It's a full-time job She trips me You think, don't me? I was like, okay

Okay, little pixie cup We're not gonna have conversations We're not gonna have to talk about my feelings It's more of a mullet Oh my God Just to be, I didn't have a picture of pixkees I was sorry My little vintage idea of lesbians

It's definitely like Where's your cup bag in the day Sorry, we're 2023 Lesbans have mullets now Come on! I'm sorry I'm new to this gay shit, by the way. And they're somehow in there. Wait, how new to this gay shit?

Like, I only came out the other fucking day. What? I don't know you. Are you fine? You gay? I'm gay. No one other. Shut the fuck up.

Helen, have you ever seen Carrie do comedy? One time, years ago. Years ago. It's gay as hell. You say my comedy is gay as hell. I'm putting that on everything from that one. Sharon and Joe, he's gay as hell comedy. Wait, how gay as hell?

I just talk a little bit about it. Fucking news the end. You don't know. in a very religious context. I think that is gay as hell. But wait. So when did you come? How old are you and when did you commit?

I came out, I'm 25 now. I came out one else. Oh God, don't. I hate it. I hate being 25. Oh, please, don't get me started. It's awful. I think people get, I think people look through like,

their Chinese through like rose tinted glasses. Yeah. And really it's the worst. Yeah, I agree. I agree. I feel like I'm being gassed. Everyone's like, this is the best time of your life.

You have a great time. It's almost exactly the same as being a teenager except do you have to pay for the food? The only thing that it's true is it doesn't get better. It's always consistently. You've gone through the work. I can't wait for my 30s. I am counting down the days.

They are fundamentally better. I've got to say from 27 felt good for me. Yeah? For me it was definitely 2930. That was like partly because of the brain for myself, I was like, oh, I'm 30. I need to get certain things together. Right. But also like you just, it just takes ages to like make money.

What age were you in color coordinated your butts? So you're 25. for the benefit of the listener. I thought that was a valid question. But that felt like we're getting together moment. Like the colourical name. Yeah, I'll give you that. I've done that since I was like a kid.

I used to bond. Then you've had your shit together. I used to lend my brother and sister my books and like write it in the library system so I'd know which ones they had. What do you? Like I kept a list of people who used to dog ear my books and therefore they wouldn't be lent to again.

It's a part of a podcast to snort on to not coming out. I was a busy child. You know what I love that for you. I came out like, okay, so there are things to do. are we starting with a list I wish I was like that No you don't Yes

No you don't I have a book from you Just that like If me and Sharon wanted to borrow something I would just gift it to you For you I would just But Sharon to give it back I'm sure Look on her white top

With those stains box Oh my god It's early It's the morning I've got one ketchup stain Give me an hour I've got one ketchup Stain that's it

Oh that doesn't even count And also me and Andrew That's what I said Sleeve stains don't count Sleep stays don't count You're right This ketchup stain, Sharon It's kind of aesthetic

It's five, thank you It's five days old And I'll tell you what I made the mistake of I made the mistake of having a sausage samuels With ketchup and not a bacon sandwich On the go You fucked up The sausages don't get any

The top of the sausage Gets no purchase on the ketchup And it slides straight off It's bacon, there's grooves There are this friction there Wow, that was very scientific Yeah, pat on the back I do regret me

I know Bad lesbian, bad lesbian I know Give me some time I'll speak up for a month You got to give me that, right? Wait, so you came out when? When I was 23.

So I've had two years, but I feel like the pandemic. I don't know. It took that, those early stages. Some of my people came out and then were kept in. Yeah, that's exactly it. It does feel like leadership. It's like someone's gone, no. No.

No. Let's try that again. Oh my God, congratulations. Thank you. That's nice. Have you had a girlfriend? I have. Oh, my God, that's so excited. How does that feel?

I've never had a partner. Genuinely. Genuinely. Good on you. Thank you. that way. Thank you. Stress-free life.

I was not really a choice at the moment, but yeah. Look, you're gorgeous and funny and sexy. No, I know, I know. I've got too much of anything. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys are sort of like, you know. And you date men? Yeah, yeah, men, boys.

They don't like that. They don't like funny, sexy, independent women. What? Oh, sorry. Is that? No, I think that's probably fair. Is that maybe sex is teens men? No, no, I know.

I don't, yeah. I can do everything myself. But don't just think it's just you under the firing line here because Sharon has some things to learn. For example, let's talk about the nails. Sharon. Oh no. You're gonna do like PM 101?

Are you wearing acrylic? Do you know what? This is for me, right? You know when like you're like, you're like, you're like, I'm not going to go on the pool tonight. So I'm not going to shave. I'm not going to wax. Yeah. You want to wear the ugliest underwear.

Yeah. That's me with the nails. So I'm like, I'm not going to pull. They are repellent. They are. I know. This is like, of course people are not going to hit on me because it's like. Yeah.

You can tell me you're a gay or the chaos came home. I'd be like, okay. Well, your hands say otherwise, my friend. I just feel like the listener. Sharon has long nails. I do, I do. Lank acrylic nails. Shame on me.

They were for holiday, to be fair, and I wasn't trying to pull on holiday. Okay, because you don't like sex in the sun. I do. Oh, God, I do. What's wrong with you? I'm like on a hiatus. I've had a couple dates recently.

Okay. And I think I'm just over dating. Fine. It's like, it is awful. And you can also just use the pad of the finger, surely. Does that work? No, because... I mean, I'm the wrong person to ask, but like...

Why, you like all the time. You're right. just use the pad of the finger so you put this on your click like the bottom of your like the nails don't get involved but it's easy to do on yourself because you can

yeah harder to get around that practice things perfect like no one wins dressage on their first holes you know put that get that tattooed somewhere a classic phrase a classic phrase Helen Bell

no one does of course not okay well this is amazing because we get problems in from our listeners a lot of the problems are queer, let's be honest. So it's good to know your credentials. Wait, don't you want to ask any more lesbian questions

to like the old lesbian? Oh, oh. Young women are... No, that's not fair. Old lesbians are... She's been around the block, Sharon. Sharon. She's been good in a lot of consonants. I have been out for 16 years.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. How is it? Does it get into it? I thought you're going to say 16 winters. That is some gay shit. I've been lesbianing for 16 winters. Oh, I've been through 16 cuffings in my life. And then Catherine Girl School before that

There's a lot of history there That is gay You had no There was no choice there There was no It's genuinely All girls When you said it doesn't get better

Do you find it bad? Not bad no no Not bad actually I'm loving it I don't know Just in terms of like I don't know Maybe in general

I'm struggling with my identity at the moment Just in general Like trying to find yourself All that shit Yeah so I feel like I don't know Adding gay to that

I'm just like are you fucking kidding me Like Can I say something as a 32-year-old? You'll find an identity and then you'll change. You change. You get older, you mature and you change and there's no like, this is me. Because every time I'm like, oh, this is my thing.

This is like, what I do is to hang out with. You evolve and there's no point trying to find it. In the same way, there's no point being like, this is what I want to do with my life because what you want to do might change. I genuinely thought I would want to be on the road touring my entire life. And I do like touring. But next year, I'm like, I'm not going to do a new show.

I'm going to focus on scripted stuff and spend time with my family and, like, friends down in London. So, like, I totally get that need to be like, this is me, this is my thing, and this is what I do. But, like, allow space for that to move around. Because there's so many parts of the world you could live in, some place you could travel, you could be speaking a different language in two years of time. So, like, don't try and figure out something. We don't all have your language and skills, so maybe not that one. But what I will say is this, I just sort of an interesting word that is.

used was add in gay and it's like I think there's an interesting thing when I came out and around the same time I got quite sick with OCD and I felt like I was like there were too many things that were dramatic that's exactly what it feels like but the thing is it's not active you haven't added in gay you haven't been like let me just make this more complicated for the people who are finding me difficult you're just I sounds like you are finding your identity you're just being like you are gay you didn't add it in Right, and I need to, yeah, sometimes I need to remind myself that. You know, like, none of it's your...

And those are good things to be, but also, like, if anyone's making you feel like those are, like, burdens, that feels like that's an external imposition, not a truth. Yes, you're no longer welcome in straight bars. Oh my God, yeah. That's just part of it. You can't come to pizza, huh? Okay, sorry, sorry, I don't know pizza, it's a gay space.

The salad bar. Gay male space, gay male space, gay male space, yeah, that's on me, that's on me. I don't know why I said it. I meant to say ZZZs and I panicked, and that is on me. Sorry, Andrew, I know. know you're a pizza hut. Thank you. I've had 22 pizza buffets in the last year.

Thank you. Holy shit. You also used to work at pizza. Jesus. Please be supportive of them. It's very, it's 13 pounds on limited pizza ice cream and drinks. Thank you. I haven't been in a minute.

You've just, you've actually done something. Yeah. Are you sponsored by them? Is that? Would you be able to date? Would you be? Yes. Are you kidding me.

I'd be there in a minute. Nothing makes me feel like a mature adult woman. Then tell me another adult woman to a buffet being like, it's only 13 pounds. also I know I'm straight and I shouldn't give any advice because I've never had a partner and I'm also not gay

but word on the street is you don't have to date you just go to a rock climbing gym that's what I'm told is that where all the lesbians hide they're like talking up their fingers they're in their local sports teams they're in they're a player all like

oh see I'm not a boy person that makes sense of rock climbing where one of the person is a base and you just stand there with a rope that sounds very sexual that sounds like it can lead to something Yeah, I don't know if I'm a base.

And it's just a wall covered in lesbians. That's going my different. I don't think you take any advice from Helen. But wait, you just said that you were having an issue with identity. We'd assumed that it was queer. Is that what you meant? Maybe. Just in general, just, oh, it sounds so cliche, but like figuring yourself out, man.

Just that whole, like, who am I? What do I want to do? Where do I want to be? Like, where am I? Yeah. Where am I? I don't answer to that. one, you go to a big tourist map

and let's as you are here. Oh my God. Little Arrow. Yeah. You just have all the answers. We actually have a very relevant listener email. Oh my goodness.

Hello. Before we do that, what kind of advice giver are you? Oh, I like to shoot straight from their hip. Right. Okay, that's what we like here. Something's just need to be said. Oh my fantastic.

Here we go. Oh, my good luck to this one. Look, I'm not a bitch, right, energy. With love. With love and with empathy. I'm a sagittarius. This is going to be a her. Okay.

All right. I don't know what it means. but I know we're listening to them, so go on. Just for context, I just did Control F lesbian in our inbox. Tell me about 7,000. Over 100. Oh, yeah.

I love your audience. I love you. I love you. Brilliant. I'm so excited. You can go on. This is from B. Hi, B.

Hello, everyone. Long-time listener. And looking forward to seeing Helen and Catherine soon live. I don't know if this is a problem or a question per se, but more of a quandary. I am 90% sure I am gay, bracket she-her, attracted to other women. I find some men attractive but cannot imagine sleeping with them or having a relationship. Whereas I know I have a much stronger pull of sexual and physical attraction towards women

and can imagine being with one for my future. However, I've never date anyone, slept with anyone, and I'm in my very early 20s. My university experience was dominated by illness, and so I've never had a comfortable space just to explore I'm only just beginning to get to know my body again and realise it and me as a person could be intimate or loved I feel no need to come out as gay, lesbian, queer or whatever the word might be best for me

I think this is because I don't know what I identify as so I cannot 100% say to someone else do I need to come out question mark or can I explore things more myself before I do I start a new university for postgraduate study in September and I want to be able to be more like me potentially explore queer spaces and date but I literally have no clue where to start

so I suppose my questions are do I need to come out even if I don't feel ready or understand my own identity and B how do I go exploring my identity and queer spaces and dating I actually know the answer to this one I said I wrote that email I know I was actually like sham

I was like me guys can you like help me how old is she? 22 Well, I'm just doing postgraduate, so I guess, yeah, I guess 22, 23. That's when this is you. Genuinely, like, genuinely, boom, boom, boom. Wow. Thoughts?

Well, first of, we don't need a label, which is something I've also struggled with. So if you feel like you're not ready for that, just don't put that pressure on yourself because you're adding more pressure. But also... You can just get a rainbow tattoo on your phone. Right, and everyone will know. I get a little rainbow necklace. I really felt that.

The whole, like, I can't see myself with a man, but I find them attractive is so... Did you ever feel that when you were exploring your sexuality? Oh, but I am attracted to men. Oh, fair do's, fair do's. Because sometimes I think I'm attracted to member, then I can't see myself settling down with a man. I definitely do have that, probably that's the dynamic I feel about them as well. But also, like, I think it's entirely dependent on the person.

Yeah. I also think I'm so happy in my queerness now that I hate to say, but there's a loss, I feel, when I'm in a straight relationship. Oh, I hear that. So, yeah. but but I agree that you don't need a label I would think a little bit about like what like is that it that you're just not sure or do you have any aversion to a label because sometimes that like that can be like shame and you just got to check that that's not what it is and if it is maybe like have a thing about why that might be because I mean it sounds like you think you're queer and like you're like figuring it out and I think if that's not an okay answer in queer spaces then they need to have a word to themselves. I also agree. But I think it will be, is my point.

I think if you go to a new university and you're like, I'm figuring it out. People will be like, cool. Yeah. You'll naturally gravitate towards those kinds of people. Maybe find queer spaces, you know, like, I don't know, queer book clubs. I'm still quite new to this shit.

I think universities are really good place to do it. It is, to be fair. Because there'll definitely be an LGBT group. There'll definitely be a student uni, and those are queer spaces, like a union. Those are, student unions are queer. There's quite a lot. I reckon you could do this in an afternoon.

There's a TikTok. trend where all the family members line up and baby runs towards them and then that person disappears. Do you know what I mean? It's like baby will be like granny, grandpa, mum, dad, siblings and then baby hugs their favourite and then at the end there's just two left and baby picks their favourite out those two and the last one is the least favourite. So I would just do that with like just a mixture of different gender sexualities. I'd say honestly you're probably more truthful after a couple shots, I'd get a little bit wacky. That's so funny.

That's fun. Holy shit. Half a bottle of tequila. Play some fun music. I don't support this. Okay. And then you run toward them and whoever you pick first and whoever you pick last, that's your spectrum of sexuality.

That's where you go from beginning to end. And obviously people do change and I'm not going back and what's it to you earlier. I'd say repeat every six months. Oh, hello. Yeah, like a little MOT. I was just going to say, that's the thing I will say. I put it on TikTok because I think people would like it. That is the one thing I will say is I do feel like

there's this sort of weird like need to come to a resolution on your sexuality. But you can within like, it's like 30 seconds I think the trend is. No, so my point is like you can be like I'm dating women at the moment and then see if like if you that door opens again with men then fine. But also like you don't have to make this decision anytime soon. I just think it's cool that you're like open to explore.

If you want to be with a cat, you know, like no I'm judging anything. Okay. Open up your right. I would be judgmental of that. I think I would. Sexually, yeah, I'm going to say no. Puss and boots, hello. Oh my God.

Are you fucking kidding me? Oh my fucking God. The cat. Hello, the hat and the boots. Keep those motherfuckers on. Hello. Yes. And part of it is also because it's dad from spy kids, you know?

Yeah, and Tonya Banderas just. I think he was made in a lab to seduce women. I'll have a white Russian, hold the rum. Can I just leave? That's so funny, can I please show you the picture of my girlfriend on my phone? Yes. She's wearing boots. She's wearing boots.

That is Puss and boots. That is Puss and Boots. You're dating Puss and Boots. I know, that's what I'm saying. Oh my God, I just got it, Puss, Pussy. Yeah. I didn't even. Oh, oh.

Oh my God, is Puss and Boots The Last Witch? A metaphor for lesbianism. I guess so. The last wish. We made it so. That's the second Puss and Boots films. It is the second bitch. Is that anyone who doesn't know?

Would you be weird? Which, yeah. Because it is one of the best films I have all the whole time. It should be. You're nominated, yes? It's incredible. It's incredible. I loved it.

Oh, wow. It's so good. Genuinely, it's so good. Okay. Like, it really... Well, listen, maybe another tip might be to, like, nasty the same movie in the cinema seven times. Just to free up some time to meet lesbys. Wow.

And that's just to the writer of the email. Maybe that's... That felt like an attack. That's genuinely... What if I met my wife on the seventh viewing? Do you know what I mean? Did you? No.

But what if I did? Just so you know. I will conduct your ceremony as a gingerbread man. Do you know the muffin? I thought I couldn't love you more. Yes. What if you met your wife today talking about? Oh my God, do you think so?

Are we about to get married? Oh, me? Yeah. Oh, my God. Well, nobody else cares as much about this movie. Everyone does. This is too soon, but I just feel like it's the right time. Helen's being proposed to.

I know. we've been doing this. Catherine, playing Beauty and the Beast by Ender... Don't know, no, no, not Andrew. No, no, not Andrew, the Celine Dion version of you. Yeah, of course, I have to do. I don't.

Andrew, sorry, we can't know part of this. Celine Dion version, they? Yes, I've got it my favourite, honestly. I know you've got this. You can do it. You can do it. I feel like I should have taken a shot or something before on nerves. Half a bottle of tequila.

I don't should be on a pizza heart. This is so romantic. I know we've done about three gigs together and it's early days, but I just feel like when you know, you know. And the first time I saw you grab that Micah just, this rush of, just emotion, just pure emotion. It makes sense that I'm here too, right?

I want to spend the rest of my life watching Puss and Boots, the last wish with you, Helen. If you'll have me, will you be my wife? Oh my God, get consent, Helen consent. Can I kiss you? Woo-hoo! This is... I'm calling my mom! Oh my God, then you stop having the dress, the caterer, the babies.

He said my personality was so difficult, but it's not. I can't believe I just got engaged. I can't do you. I can't believe that. It's an emotional moment. It's so does. It's perfect. How are you going to fit my finger, was it? It's so tiny. I love you so much. Oh my God, this is so romantic.

This is genuinely, okay. I moved. I moved. Hey, B, have you considered just proposing to women? And you barely know? Yeah. It's worked for me. I don't know what other advice to give you. Honestly, I don't even know if I'm straight. Oh my gosh. I turned her.

You're telling her. I'm not joking. Your lips are so fucking soft. Oh my God. Stop it. That is genuinely the best compliment you could have given me. Oh my God. We have been working to chip awareness for 100 episodes, 1001.

The answer was Sharon. Sharon turned Helen. Well, Sharon and Antonio Banderas. Well, that's to be expected, yeah. That's fine. That's fine. Oh my God, I meant to be a reality. No.

Not the takeaway. That's an awful realisation to have after all of this. That you turned her to be a reality. I don't know how to be a guy. All these pigs behind you are suddenly turning me on. It's starting to make sense. Okay, the moment's ruined. Back to the problem.

Back to the problem. I think we solved it. Would you like a new problem? No, no, let's just quickly say, you're going to university, join queer groups, join. join sports teams, join drama. What else is gay in the university? Drama Society, student unions,

football teams. No, you can't have all of them as being a gay thing. Where's the lie? Where's the lie? No, there is, yeah. Any sort of breed. Student union is a gay. Croceying any kind of arts and crafts.

Arts and craft, the knitting club. Yes. And the debate club will be gay. The film club will be gay. Definitely. Comedy, if you have a comedy. The film club will be gay. The film club is straight men.

No, no. Stop it. Baby girl. Depends. Sorry, sorry, sorry. If there are women there, they're gay. They're gay. Have you seen CEX, the state of the lad from the CEX?

And I'm saying if there's a woman in there, she's gay as now. Have you seen the people coming in and out of fop? The shop fop? Okay, but I'm telling me that's a queer space. I'm talking to people who are funding to make their free short film. They're lesbian. They are lesbians. Thank you.

They like women. They eat vaginas. I'm so sick of this appropriation. And yeah, I think that, that's it pretty. Keep out of Zizi's. And don't stress. Don't stress. Yeah, don't stress.

It's all going to be. fine and when it happens it happens I didn't I didn't have sex in my early 20s I didn't date anyone until my early 20s like there's no rush I feel like the society place a lot of pressure best case scenario you try it and you get to see boobs which all of us can be engaged like me woohoo I can't have got engaged before Catherine that's insane that does that mean we have to end the podcast now what was the deal I've got to have a baby that was it baby marriage yeah sorry and we do it live a live baby baby a live baby right live streaming

ideally a live baby I said no it live streaming oh right I was like yeah ideally are you fucking kidding me why is that where your mind went too fast No problem sweet Andrew I'm confident

Are you okay to honeymoon in Disney world We'll talk about that later I think What? Poss and booths You want a honeymoon in Disneyland It's called a sweetheart's honeymoon Are you a Disney adult

Oh shit Have I just opened something that I shouldn't have There's no, there's no, listen, I think they're very fun And I love that they... They? Oh God. Oh my God, watching two people find out the core values of each other. Stop, stop, stop.

What do you mean, they're very fun? I wouldn't call myself a Disney adult. Define Disney adult? You know, Disneyland every year, Minnie Mouse ears some little mermaid tattoo every room in the house is a different Disney theme

shit so far so Helen you should really see someone's place before you get married you should see someone's place Catherine you're gonna wrap it up oh my god Sharon thank you so much for doing the podcast

everyone says thank you to Sharon she came she got a wife she lost the wife my God what a clear journey all in her days work hey Sharon thank you for coming How are you feeling?

Thank you for having me. Oh my God, amazing. I'm really sorry that Helen dumped you on it. No, it's, do you know, I think maybe we'll make me more eligible. We're never going out. Right? Women love heartbreak and I can use that. I know you've had a broken engagement.

That's sexy. Oh, that's kind of sexy. That actually is sexy. Yeah, I would be into that low key, which is awful. Yeah, me too. I'd have a lot of questions and I would be intrigued. And I want to know all the answers. Um, here's my question.

Helen, get off your phone. I want to say Sharon pictures of me and my God. Oh, for the love of God. I can't. No, right. I don't go to fuck. Okay. Sharon,

where can people find you and we know it's not Disneyland? Oh my gosh. On social media, I'm on Instagram. Yeah, what's your handle? Sharon Van Joey underscore. How are we spelling one Joey?

W-A-N-J-O-H-I. Thank you so much. What about, are you on X? Am I on X? Twitter. Oh, my God. I completely forgot. I know.

I know. I know. I wish X lived up to its name and it was, in fact, just a social media platform for your exes. Oh, hello. Wouldn't that be so far. Yeah.

If you're not wrong. Yeah. If your bio. to be who you dated previously. That would be so fun. Messy. I love that. But this is cute.

This isn't giving Disney Ad. It was giving a woman at Disney. I've got many mousee as on. Oh, okay. Never mind. I take that back. There's me with my best friends. You are a Disney.

The listener, I'm holding. Lopso, Marie and funny. Oh, I hated. But I just engage from it. Okay. I am on Twitter. Sorry, Sharon Wenjohee. Just Sharon and Joe.

Great. TikTok? I'm not on TikTok. Good for you. I know. I should be, though. Oh, this is me pretending to chase Remy! I ironically really like that.

Dear God. And what about if you want to see you? Me and Princess Aurora. This is... My opinion of you has changed. I know. I know. It's tough. It's tough. Can people see you do shows?

Oh, yes. I'm doing a work in progress at Abberfest. The 1st of October 630 at Bank. Bankball. At Abbafest? Yes. Aba Comedy Fast. I'm a comedy first. Yeah, sorry.

I should really... Is it my accent? No, no, no, no, not at all, but I was like... I can never say the full thing. I genuinely assumed it was more like an... Like an abba. Can you imagine? That would be so much fun.

Okay, so you'll be in... I cried so much that night. Do you remember? Yes, wait, so you'll be in... Can we focus? In Wales. Is that where Abbeye is? Yes, yeah, in Wales, sorry, yes.

And then if we want to see you in London? Just follow me on Instagram. I usually upload where I'm going to be, when I'm going to be. Yeah, I follow Sharon. DM me, I don't know if you think like, like you want to go for a drink or something, I don't know. Oh my God! Is that like

Por? No, I love that. Fuck it! Shooting my shot! Yes, she'll be nobody has ever on this podcast being like, DM me if you want a drink, but oh my God, you should be so lucky to go on a date with Sharon, so please do. I love you, thank you. I'm not sporty either, but I know a lot of the sporty ones that's what you're into. Okay, great. Well, we can do some intro. Oh my God, I have a... Okay, great. I am a good

candidly for you. What? I mean, I'm a... I'm even quick, come. I don't know what to tell you. Sorry, but no, I really do have someone for you. Okay, fun. Guys, do we have any announcements? I have one, which is that on my website, catherinebowhart.com,

please could you sign up to my mailing list because I have news coming early October and also because I kind of want to get into mailing list as in like actually writing a proper letter to you guys. So please could you sign up? Otherwise, it doesn't feel worth my while. You know what? Sign up to my mail list.

The list. Yeah. Take two. And see. And I guess that's kind of indicative of what our mailing list emails will be like. You can sign up to my mailing list too.

Yeah. Go there in the end. You got there in the end. Do you have a website? I do not. Good for you. God, we're so old etching our dates into our website.

I feel old-school. Join our mailing list. Join our mailing list. Join our chain letter. I love it. Send us a pigeon. Let us know by Telegram. if you like the podcast.

Oh my God, please send me a pigeon. I would fucking love that. That would be amazing. Oh my God, send a pigeon. Post a pigeon into the trusty hogs officer. No, good God. Get her alive. It would be dead.

It would definitely be dead. Not if it came from my next door or something. Okay. Please give it up one more time for Sharon and Joey, everybody. I love you. And we'll tag Sharon in all of our posts. Bye. Bye.

Thank you so much to our executive producers, We don't know where we'd be without you. Guy Goodman, Simon Moores, Mary Fox, Annie Tonner, Sarah Harcay, Deacon, Oliver Jago, Anthony Conway and Matthew Thomas. We are so grateful. We're so grateful. Thank you to our producers. Thank you, Richard Bicknell L.

Richard Bold, Neil Redmond, Victoria Hutchinson, Emma Walton, Harold Van Dyke, Tim and Dom, David Walker, Rachel R, Sadie Cashmore, Claire Owen Jones, Jess and Nick. I'm doing so well with his names. Zoe, Sarah and Molly. Ria Fink, Cordelia, Rachel Page, Helen A, Tina Lindsay, Graham Marsh, Amy O'Reardon, Abby Woff, Key Webb, Matt Sims, Luke Bright, Leah, Kate Spencer, Tristan, Liz Fort, Taz, Clow, Becky Fox, Amy, Emily G, Alex McPew, Dean Michael, Glenys Wood. Oh, come on, Stephanie, give me a break.

Stephanie. She said you can do Steffy, if that's easier. I don't have a problem pronouncing Stephanie. It's the second name. Come on. Stephanie Katrakia. Cat Rachia, yeah. Katrachia.

Give me a break. Come on, Stephanie, give me a break. Sophie shivers. Andrew's like, Steffy as if that's the other. Yeah, Steffy. If you can't do Stephanie, babe, it's just Steffy. Sophie Chivers, Mark and Anthony. Almost a clear street.

Thank you.