Trusty Hogs - Ep102. SAM LAKE / Peebles, Pasta & Passenger Princesses

Episode Date: October 5, 2023

It's the start of the SpoOooOoky season (apparently), but despite Helen's early theme attempts this is just a not-so-spooky regular dose of chaos with the very funny Sam Lake! We chat recipes, Mastermind, skin care, and Sam teaches Catherine some technology tips...FOLLOW SAM: @MrSamLakeOUTSIDE IS AWFUL (Zoom Shows): www.ticketsource.co.uk/kerfuffleThank you so much for listening!Support us at https://www.patreon.com/TrustyHogs for exclusive bonus content, merch, and more!Trust us with your own problems and questions... [e-mail] give us a follow @TrustyHogs on all socialsBe sure to subscribe and rate us (unless you don’t like these little piggies - 5 Stars only!)Thank you to our Patreon supporters...EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Guy Goodman / Simon Moores / Mary Fox / Annie Tonner / Sarah Jarque-Deakin / Oliver Jago / Anthony Conway / Matthew ThomasPRODUCERS: Richard Bicknell / Elle / Richard Bald / Neil Redmond / Victoria Hutchison / Harald van Dijk / Tim & Dom / David Walker / Rachel R / Sadie Cashmore / Claire Owen-Jones / Jess & Nick / Zoë / Sarah & Molly / Raia Fink / Cordelia / Rachel Page / Helen A / Tina Linsey / Graham Marsh / Amy O'Riordan / Abbie Worf / Kie Web / Matt Sims / Luke Bright / Leah / Kate Spencer / Tristin / Liz Fort / Taz / Klo / Becky Fox / Emily Gee / Dean Michael / Glenys Wood / Stefanie Catracchia / Sophie Chivers / Marc / Anthony / Carey SeutheWith Helen Bauer (Daddy Look at Me, Live at the Apollo) & Catherine Bohart (Roast Battle, Mock the Week, 8 Out of 10 Cats)FOLLOW HELEN, CATHERINE & ANDREW...@HelenBaBauer@CatherineBohart@StandUpAndrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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out here it's not only the amazing views but the way time stretches out a little longer how laughter bellows louder among friends and how the breeze hits just right at the summit with all trails you can discover and experience the best of nature with over 450,000 trails worldwide and navigation right at your fingertips find your outside with all trails download the free app today and find your next outdoor adventure. I'll let you away with it. I'll let you away with it. Welcome to episode 102. It's October. It's spooky season and it's trusty hog. Could you imagine if there were ghost pigs wandering around the countryside?

How adorable that would be. That's where you win. Just like, you know, if you go to a pig farm and take a medium there and they're like, oh, there's a very unhappy Betsy here. You think it's at the pig farm, Rod. than at the place where they kill all the pigs. What's that called? Slaughter house? Thank you.

Oh no. Pigs die all the time and I eat bacon and sausages. Oh, so you are the problem. Through the fog. Step forth the trusty hogs. Yeah, you're going to give them your problems and they will solve them or maybe they won't

and that's your problem. They'll have guests and Andrew White on the tech. Oh, it's Helen and Catherine as the trusty hogs. Trust the trusty hogs or maybe not. Okay, well, welcome to trusty hogs, usually the podcast where we tell you about our lives. I'm Catherine Bowhart.

This is Helen Bauer. We're comedians and then we have listeners writing their problems and we do try to solve them. But we're not always together. For example, Helen's currently crying about dead pig ghosts that she caused because it's October 5th. It's spooky season. Let's think about the good things. I also kill cows. Look at me. Look at me.

I honestly. Look at me. Yeah. Look at me. Pumpkin lattes. Crunchy orange leaves on the ground. Oh, stop it. Little kids in Halloween costumes.

Oh my God. So cute. Mini treats so you can eat eight Snickers, but you feel fine about it because they're only little. The Capwees will release their Halloween chockies this year. It's all very exciting. You get those little nets of eyeball covered tin things in works and Spencer's. Yes. Welcome back.

It's Halloween season. Oh my God, and the planet's going to end because of all these little wrappers. Can you please get yourself together? You know, my algorithm on Instagram at the moment is just Baby Highland Cows. Me too! I'm taking it home.

I'm taking it home. We're taking, put it in the van. That one, yeah, I loved it. Did I send that to you? Oh, my God. So good. I've got so many of them. And then what was the one I sent you the other day

and you went, have you been hacked? I sent Catherine like an Instagram thing the other day. And she was like, no, you've been hacked. Telling, and start your phone out. It's like, what the fuck are you talking about? You, it is bang on you. You sent me a cat, and there was music for overplaying. And then it was like, this is a little cat.

And this cat loves her friends. And if you're getting this, is to tell you that you're an amazing friend. And I was like, obviously, you've been hacked. What the hell is going on? And this cat loves you too. And it was so cute. But now all I have are these tiny highland cows. And they are so gentle.

The hacking wasn't that I thought that it was weird that you sent it. I thought it was, well, it was. But it was also weird that you thought, I like it. I was just like, what's going on here? You love little animals. I do love tiny animals. You do.

I think you like to seem a bit more like together than it, but you were fucking, little animals running around for 30 second videos and reals, it's both of our love languages. I agree. Helen, I have to tell you about a television show. There was a dog on my train this morning. What's there? What kind? Minature sausage dog.

Cute. And it was like, it was really cute and I immediately got straight into anxiety. I was going into Farringdon at rush hour. Oh, God. And a woman who. had the dog and the women in front didn't know there was a little dog and I was like really obviously looking down like please notice please

notice because you're going to step on him and he's only ever so tiny. Oh bless! But she noticed too late but she didn't seem fast at all. Okay good okay good. Can I tell you about this television show I've been watching? I presume you've also been watching it. No which one? Have we done alone? No I'm doing the morning show season three. That's insane. Oh no wait you mean the one

It's not so good. With Rees for this been and a round I haven't watched that. I genuinely thought you meant this morning. which is more in government. Sorry, I'm actually watching this morning. I'm catching up on it, season 20. Season 20. Absolutely loving it.

Ruth and Aman's theme not for this world for long. Who the fucks is Ruth and Aman and not Aman and Ruth? I don't watch it. How feminist are you? I don't watch it. Oh my, I really thought you meant this morning, which I think suits your personality more. Wait, what's alone? Tell me what alone is.

Okay, alone is the television. television show that Ellen made me watch and occasionally I have to let her choose so I was like fine and she's my at home girlfriend and you're my work wife so she has watched

11 series or something of this American one and there's a British version and I was like oh for a fuck sake but there's only six episodes so I was like fun and I do like

reality TV so I was like just give it a chance oh my God Channel 4 drop them in the woods in Canada they don't have food

they have no shelter they have nothing they don't even have a crew with them Helen they have to film themselves It is incredible. The psychology of people is fascinating. Every time you think that person's going to win,

they quit the next day. It's absolutely wild. The people who are doing incredibly well think that they're doing so badly, there is a point at which this woman realizes that she's actually done better than she's expected, like much better. And she's like,

but, and she's done it. She's been like insanely impressive. like she's been amazing she's lasted so long and she realizes it and then she's like what but I thought I was doing so badly and it was like oh my god that is the female experience

it's just like a woman doing phenomenal amazing incredible things and then being someone being like hey did you know that you were like top whatever and then not believing it her being like what I thought I sucked it's so good it's naked and afraid

is that the show that Ellen watches the American seasons are there? They're not naked. Okay, so there's an American version of it called Naked and Afraid. No, there's an American version of it called Alone. Okay, but there's also an American version called Naked. No, there's an American version called Aulah.

But this one, they're naked. Well, that's not the same show. Because they're not... And there is a film crew. Yes, so it's not the same. That's not the same. No. I will watch Alone.

So six episodes. Strong recommend. You know, I still haven't watched Celebrity Hunter with James and Ed? Oh, I've never seen a single episode of that show. Hunter's good. It's really good. I'd love to.

It seems like to the kind of thing. we'd love to do together if anybody's listening. But wait, what's the premise? Catherine, if we went, right, Celebrity hunted is that your MI5 were after you and you've got to be on the run

and then they use all their teams to try and track you down and then they just catch you. But you can stay anywhere within the British Isles, okay? When you say MI5, is it actually at my five? No, but it's like people who worked for them

were trained with them and like police ops and like, but now they're in reality TV but they've got like shit loads of skills like Marines and then they're out there trying to find you but we would get caught with them five seconds. We'd start going on a walk. We'd be like, let's get a manicure. We'd

get a manicure. Then they'd find us because we'd be fucking in a, we'd be in Snowflake and Soho that we've spoken about so many times on the podcast, getting an ice cream. 10 minutes after we've run away. They'd be like, there you go, got you. And we'd be like, oh no. No, we surely would have to be better than that. Let us finish our ice cream first. Surely we could do better than that. But the idea is you have to be completely spontaneous and not go anywhere that you people know that you know. So we couldn't go to my hometown. We couldn't go to any way you've previously lived. We couldn't go to any of your friends' houses.

Because I go on social media or figure out where they all live. You just have to go with the flow of things. And neither of us go with the flow. Yeah. Going with the flow is not our thing. And they track your car? Can you drive? You can drive in it.

You can rent a car, but then they can find out the details of like, have you rented there? Have you been somewhere? Fuck. You have to rely on like random strangers to take you around places and just go along with it. You'd hate it. That sounds like hell.

Do actually book us on it. Book us on it. That'll be so funny. Absolute hell. Wait, so like, do you sleep over random people's houses? Yeah, or in the woods. But then sometimes on Hunter people are just sleeping in the woods and the police use those red, in-for-red cameras, heat sensors.

And they can see someone's out and they just come and run and get you. And the idea of being in the words with someone running up to grab you is just too much from my anxiety. That's hell. Do you know what we could use, though? Go on. By word of mouth. A lesbian network.

Those fuckers. They'll know that you're a part of a lesbian network. won't be able to track it. Here's the thing. Why? Because those fuckers love to camp. They love to camp.

You don't like camping, right? Yeah, but the point is like a very safe butch would take us into the woods to protect us, I think. And then pass us to another where do we find the butch?

We'd have to speak. I'm not going to tell you on air in case they track us back to this conversation. Yeah, yeah. Wow, the game's already begun. They should probably start filming soon because we're on the show.

Holy shit. We're on the show. We're on the show. Run! Andrew, would you drive us? Oh, no, that'd be pointless. That's actually what Andrew's car edge is. It would be absolutely pointless.

I can't drive us either. We need to, yeah, we need to think about this care. Like we couldn't use any of our friends or family members. That's fine. We got this. So I'll be like, oh, let's just go stay at like my uncle's in Cardiff. Why would you say, why are you giving away our, just stop? Well, he's not in Cardiff.

Oh, shit. Helen! It's all hard, isn't it? It's all hard. The thing is, like, everyone's instinct to get out. the city, but the city are more anonymous than if you go to a small town, they'll be like, have you seen anyone new coming through? And they'll be like, yeah. But there's so much

CCTV in London. Mm-hmm. Gosh, that's tricky. There's also so many people. It's intense. Yeah. Gosh. I haven't been watching alone though. Does anyone ever do like moustaches and sunglasses and hats? Yeah. Okay, great. A lot of costumes.

Great. Love that. I would dye my hair 100% and medley dye it. So interesting that you think you have the more distinctive hair. everyone, I think a red-headed and a blonde with our size tits, everyone would know. Yeah, you're right. Also, we'd have to work on our volume control.

We'd, would we? And I'd go hungry, I'd go hungry so quickly. No, I'd bring supplies. I'd get, yeah, but not, like, you would never be able to bring enough. Andrew, if you do it, do you reckon you get caught in a pizza hut buffet? It's highly likely, yeah. But here's my question.

Halloween, got plans? That's my segue You know what my plans are You're coming to my party I'm coming to your party Then I'm going to yours On Halloween night We're doing the show

Oh yeah nice And then I'm staying over And we're watching Practical Magic Are you staying over Don't do this to me You know it's a sleepover Okay I didn't know it was a sleepover

Yeah we're having a sleepover It'll be so cute We'll have a practical magic sleepover Yeah that's fun And then you'll make me breakfast in the morning I love that actually And I'll go get you nice coffees From the little cafe you like

From Sandra Yeah I love it Okay, heaven, it's a plan. I love that idea. That sounds great. But I'm coming to your party at the weekend. Yeah, well, Ellen's party down my party.

Ellen's party. I think I've got a show, so I'll be there late, but I'm excited. Gorgeous, can't wait. I'm going to go dressed up. You know, it's my last month of living alone. As a sexy mouse. It's my last year of, last year, I wish. Last month of living alone.

I know. What should I do? Tweet me what you think I should do that I can't do in a house share. Yeah, what do you do with the last month of freedom right now? I need to walk around naked more. I need to invite more. friends over. I need to eat. No, but you're moving into a very social house share. You're right. You're right. I think I need to eat a disgusting amount of food alone privately

more. Yeah, you've got to go back to secret eating if you want to do that on the house share and not feel any of the judgment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. God, we're such healthy women, aren't we? We really are. What else can't I do? I take a really long baths without anybody knocking on the door, pee with the door open? Pee with the door? You don't do that in any way. Do you enjoy peeing with the door open? Like, I do, but I think you'd get any pleasure from it? Not really. It kind of stresses me out. Oh, do your standing whee's? What? Do you ever do a standing way just to see if you can do it? Like, you know, when you stand over the toilet and don't really push, you just sort of let it trickle out into the bowls you pretend. Pretend you've got

a penis. I know other people do this, so don't look at me like that. No doubt they do. No doubt they do. But why would you think I did? The thoughts of getting it on the seat. Because then you're not getting dirty at all. You're just standing over the toilet. Nothing's touching. I guess I could open the cupboards and touch all of my nice unbroken, lovely things. Why does everyone think are they moving to a house shell is always going to be someone that breaks everything?

Well, they probably won't be in this house but I will say in previous house shares I have had so much of my stuff broken. So much, unfortunately. So actually. Because I guess people just don't value

other people stuff the same way they value their own and I get that. None of us do. You know, that's just the age of it. Yeah, I do like harming Sanil's things. I don't break them

but I use them without full permission sometimes but it's blurry. I feel like I've asked if I could, use it once then that means I can use it the next time no not true wanking in the living room oh so good I never wank in the living room where I live at the moment I used to in the old place but it's two on the street I should get on that um what else could I do that long like long baths long showers like enjoy having that time where there's not someone knocking on the door yeah

god like it makes such a difference like even just I've never lived alone but going down to living with two from four yeah oh my heaven heaven heaven heaven heaven heaven heaven heaven heaven heaven heaven Heaven, heaven, heaven. Although there is, there are two bathrooms at least in this place. And the bath in the main bathroom is like huge and unclothed feet. Ooh. Ooh. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, which is nice.

Bath, baths in the UK have really had an up, like, sell. Yeah. What's it called? Upsail up recently? Glow up. Glow up. Francis had just moved in somewhere with a Japanese bath. And I was like, what's a Japanese bath?

The Japanese bath? What is it? It's not as long, but it's very deep. And you basically just sit fully submerged, like a toad. So it's just your, like, your nose and your eyes just like... That sounds amazing. And you're just in this, like, square and you sit in it. And I was like...

Did you guys go in together? That sounds incredible. We must. That sounds amazing. I mean, they literally moved yesterday. But we must. We must. That heaven.

Don't I know? Are they living with their boyfriend? Mm-hmm. Oh, Francis. Hi, Jackie. How Francis. Oh, hi Jackie, Jackie. Hi, Jack, I guess.

Jack's upset with us again, though. Why? Because we're planning Mexico without him. That'll do it. That will do it. But it's going to be so good. So far, you have to stop rubbing it in my face because I wanted to come and you wouldn't let me come

so you have to stop it now. You have to stop. Sorry, Catherine. But you can send me your itinerie and I'll book the same holiday for a different time. I think you should just come while we're there. I just didn't want to plan a trip for loads of people. Do you think Helen has an itinerary?

Yes, I do. I do think she does. I have flights. I think her only organisation is in holidays. I have flights into Mexico City Yeah And then I have an internal flight So it's not safe to travel on ground

To Cancun And I'm going to stay just south of there In a slightly less tourist area But still tourist enough to be safe Called Playa Del Carmen Right And then I'm going to take daydrip to Tulum

To see all the ruins Nice And we're going to go to the Frida Carlo Museum In Mexico City Heaven And we're going to And it's like in the Caribbean Sea In the Yucatan province

Amazing. I haven't booked anything yet, but... Are you staying in the one place the whole time? No, two places. Where do you go from Cancun? So, Mexico City and then to play a common, which is near Cancun. How long are you taking in Mexico City before you go to... Five days.

Four nights. That sounds genuinely phenomenal. I know, so we're going to do all our culture there, because obviously Francis is an artist. We... Do all the art galleries, and I can do all my war things. Heaven, heaven, heaven. It sounds fucking amazing. Sorry, I underestimated your it's all I can do.

All I can do is holidays. So like the Vienna trip, which is really coming into shape now. Same. Same. Sigman Freud Museum and Chucky Museum, same morning. Great. Freud and Chucky, one morning. Yeah, but when we go to Cordova, I am going to plan the fucking trip of dreams for you.

I can't wait. It's going to be insane. I can't wait. Insane. I can't wait. Prepare to transfer an undisclosed amount to your monsoe. I struggle for rent. But what a time.

time you will have. You have to make choices in life. I'm stressed. No, but I think I should go on holiday soon. Anyway, that's... I think we should do Cordova and I think you should book, like, you know, when you did the Iceland holiday with Ellen and how much you love that. Yeah. Like, surely a couple's holidays on the card. It's astonishing that we think that people would want to listen to us planning our holidays while they send us money to make content that's supposed to be funny. Hey, who's our guest today? It's interesting. Who's our guest today? Please welcome. It's the very funny, very incredible, and not going on holiday outside of Scotland. It's Sam Lay.

Oh, hi. As you may or may not know, we are doing a live comedy show, a line-up show. It's called Trustee Huggs Presents Outside is Awful. It's on the 31st of October. A Tuesday is Halloween, so why not come along? Join us. You can get tickets where, Andrew? It's a Zoom gig. You can go to our link tree or go to ticket source.com. UK, forward slash kerfuffle. We got bloody well celebrities on there. Come on. We all belong outside. We're drawn to nature.

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Babel's conversation-based technique teaches you useful words and phrases to get you speaking quickly about the things you actually talk about in the real. world. With lessons handcrafted by the 200 language experts and voiced by real native speakers, Babel is like having a private tutor in your pocket. Start speaking with Babel today. Get up to 55% off your Babel subscription right now at babble.com slash acast. Spelled B-A-B-B-B-B-B-B-E-L.com Slash-A-Cast. Rules and restrictions may apply. Welcome, Samley! Wait, we've just, don't try and we all be happy now after what just happened.

Have I been putting an acid on my face? Hylaronic is an acid, but you're talking about hydrochloride, which you shouldn't be putting on your face. It probably was just, I'll give you the benefit, it was probably just a slip of the tongue, wasn't it? I hope so. Yeah, yeah. It's not like that time that you thought that a pestery was to be taken orally.

Which is something I'm still suffering with. Oh my God, I can't. You took four of them. I've got four portions worth of cream in my tummy. Are I safe? No, no, the answer is no. This is not a safe space. Oh, okay.

I'm sorry, if somebody misled you on that. No, that's fine. No, I'll be on my guard for the phone. I'm so sorry, but you do have to speak directly into the microphone. Sorry, Catherine's incredibly thrilled. I don't feel safe just so everyone's aware. No, no, and it's not a safe space. And I'm sorry if the email said otherwise, and that can't have been right.

There wasn't an email that was just a DM. It was an Instagram. Okay, your professionalism is astounding. I had tried to get Sam on for like a year in my defense. I have been fighting for this. Welcome, Samley. I'm glad I'm finally. You're very busy.

You're very busy. I also just live in Scotland. I just live in a different country. You've been down to London a lot. I saw you in London three times and I was like, I thought you were going to message me when you were coming down to London in advance with you in Hogs and you were like, oh yeah. Liya.

Sorry. You didn't want to come hang out with us. No, I did. Do you be all safe now, babe? Oh no, please. Welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome.

Right, so here's the question for both of you. Why do you live in Scotland? No, skincare. Yeah, because both you have amazing skin. So, number one, what's this under-eye thing? The ordinary caffeine solution. Okay, and is that in one of those little bottles? It's in with a little pipette.

Just dab it. Just a little dab under the eyes. And is that every evening? Morning and evening. Yeah. Do you not do it twice a day? I do a cream at night from my under eyes. Interesting.

Okay, and then I've got three ordinary bottles. So if you don't know what these are, they're little bottles with pipettes on the top, they're like everyone seems to have. and you're like, oh my God, I should get them because everyone's got them, which is what I did. Yeah.

Okay, not everyone does. Mainly. Maybe a mole's listening to this. Moles don't have skincare. That's quite a sweeping generalisation. Yeah, it is. Okay, maybe some moles have skincare, but they live underground and I doubt they're like...

Yeah, what do you think that's for? To protect their skin, I basically live underground. No son for me. You're a mole. I'm a little mole. I'm a hedgehog. I find moles really sexy, as in on people. Oh, okay.

I really do. Moles on people. Oh, moles. Beauty marks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we're talking about the mole of the animal. No, I know, I just was separately saying, I find moles are all sexy. Another tangent, but, you know, when you're, like, scrolling on, like, TikTok or Instagram or whatever.

Yes. And, like, it comes up with a video. There was a video of, like, a British game show, like, way back when, probably, like, five years ago, but they all looked like they were filmed in the 90s. And it was like, a group of moles, the collective noun for a group of moles is also the name of a political party in the UK. Oh, I have seen this. Which party is that? And obviously, the answer is a conservative of moles.

I really was going to say labour. I'm so sure it's a conservative of moles and the woman who's supposed to answer it. Can I ask you if you're more, these collective noun for owls is? Parliament. While we're on the topic, there he may. It is a labour of mould, sorry.

Motherfuckers! Okay, either way, either way. The confidence. Great skin and I know collective nouns. Yes, girl. Come through, but do talk into the mic. Sorry, I'm just so far back and relax. Okay, I was watching that going like,

fucking idiot. and the woman went, oh, that's a hard question. Oh, I'd love to pass it to Trish. And they pass it to the other woman. It's a lot younger. And she's like, I don't know. Liberal Democrats just make sense for me. I'm going to go for the Liberal Democrats.

And even though I didn't know it was Labor, even I know, it's not going to be the Liberal Democrats of moles. Like, come on, love. Yeah. Come on. It's the Liberal Democrats. That's what makes sense for me. Is it tipping point?

A green party of mouth. It might have been tipping point. Yeah, have you seen the Homer one. No, it was. the question. Wait, tell me. What's this? What's this?

It's a question about Homer's Odyssey. And it was like, what is the... Wow, it didn't even occur to me. It might be Homer's Odyssey. I was like, yeah. Immediately. Join me on this journey. The question is about Homer's Odyssey

and what does he call? Was it the food of the gods? Yeah, yeah. And the answer's like, is it nectar? Ambrosia. And he goes like, oh, well, I know Homer Simpson really likes donuts so I'm going to say donuts.

And Ben Chepard genuinely looks like he might punch the man for being so silly. silly man. Have you seen Monty Panazar do Mastermind? Oh, it's so good. You be me and I'll be Clive. I can't remember the questions though.

That's why I'm going to ask. I'm going to be five. Okay, okay, go for it. You be me, you'll be here, my mean, is what I meant to say. Somebody's doing Mastermind soon. Which one of the mastermind is? Really?

I couldn't possibly say, so bad at quizzes. We're just hoping she's on with real thick I was to sure to sell through. I'm so bad. Okay. Okay. can you please name one of the Deathly Hollows?

I don't remember the exact question. That's not the questions. It's something to do with like seasons. And he says, no, I can't remember now. By the way, Sam is watching this like a parent watching their children do a play in the living room.

It's like, oh, yeah. It's basically like, who wrote the poem if? And then she's like, autumn. And they're like, no, um, okay. Um, who wrote the song, blah, blah, blah, and he's like, Lawrence, and he's like so many questions behind and they're still wrong. Wait, wait, wait, wait, here we go. The listener has to hear it.

Okay, for reference. It gets better. This is going to be me. She's going to be playing a clip of me. Yep, which sign of the zodiac is represented by a crab? Sartagnet scorpion cancer. What is the title of A.A. Mills' staged adaptation of Kenneth Graham's children's novel, The Wind in the Willows.

Harry poor. Toad of Toaddle. Henry the 8th had three wives called Catherine two called Anne and another who died shortly after she gave birth to the Futurrette of the 6th. Jane. What was her name? Elizabeth. Jane. What's the standard international unit of absolute temperature, it is indicated by the letter K. Oh gosh. Callum. Kellyn.

Which Asian island city state is served by Changi International Airport? Shanghai. Sympal. Birds described as pelagic spend most of their lives flying over what? Sky. You want 97 film to a group of unemployed men in Sheffield become strippers for a night at their local working men's club. He's is the dream boys. In which city is the Olympia Stadion built for the 1972 Olympics and where Germany's national football team played international matches until 2001? Oh gosh.

What is the title of the first volume of C.S. Lewis's Chronicles of Narnia to be. published chronologically, it follows the magician's nephew. C.J. Lewis, the Lion, the Witch and the War of Kind of Lighter. You know that famous book? CJ Lewis by C.S. Lewis. And it keeps going like that. That's bullying. It's incredible. Very good at cricket. It's bullying. It's going to be me. It's going to be me on Friday.

Just don't be like that woman who, like, they asked her about Greta Tundberg. What's the name of, what's the name of that girl who does all the school? She was like, Sharon. There's no shame in passing. There's no shame. I think there is shame and passing. I've seen somebody get one answer right and there's one pass, pass, pass, pass, pass.

What's the specialist subject? Are you allowed to say? Well, we'll cut back in here. Catherine just said too much information about something she's not allowed to talk about. Welcome back to our conversation with Sam Lake. So it's not acid I've been putting on my face, but it's good acid.

Well, I hope not. It doesn't look like you're doing acid. No, I've got itchy end of nose. Do you need a tissue? I've got itchy end of nose. Stop saying I need a tissue. Is itchy because someone's thinking about me? No, that's not the one.

Itching means you're going to have... Itchy nose means you're going to have a row. Did you wipe all the yoghurt off your face when I saw you? She's been doing it since before the yogurt. Is it okay? Yeah. I was eating a yoghurt on the street when Sam arrived. Yeah.

But like properly out there with a metal teaspoon on the street. It's not confident. Yeah. Also, she was like, I'm going to have a smoke. Good to know what that's what she was up to. I didn't actually have a cigarette. You weren't smoking. I waited for Sam and ate a yogh up.

She did. So Sam. Yes. live in Edinburgh. Sure do. With your Scottish husband. Uh-huh. Crazy.

And you're going on... Wait, why is that crazy? Because two men can get married now. Yeah. You did tell me about that. It's fine. In Scotland, it's wild. I thought they were traditional.

Now, you are going on holidays soon. Something that sounds bleak. What is it? Catherine Mary Joseph. I get lovely. It sounds lovely. We're going to Peebles. Peoples.

Peoples. Peoples. Peoples. Peoples. balls it's like on the borders we're going we're not going to people's to visit peoples there's a nice like big spa hotel kind of thing there with like activities on the grounds it looks like it's got very nice views but we're not planning to like actually leave anywhere there's like a gin distillery that we're going to do a tour of what borders of Scotland and what borders of Scotland

and what the sea I guess so I don't know don't you mean it's probably the borders between England and Scotland like country jeans will well well Is that the border between England and Scotland? Yeah. Adrian's Wall. Okay. Oh, okay. It's Cumbria, the next place over the border.

It depends on which side of it you are. It can also be like Newcastle from time. My husband said the borders and I just went, yes, the borders. We all know where the borders are. There's no need to get into details about it. See, I hear borders and I think of the hotel biscuit. Oh, interesting, actually. Or people who stay at school, like, you live at the school.

It's fascinating because in that one thing where you said, I asked my husband where we were going and he said the borders and I asked no further questions. I found out exactly who you are. Yes. Yeah. Okay. So he plans the holidays. He chose a hotel. And presumably he's the driver of the two? Yeah. It's a passenger princess. You can totally tell people who are born to be driven.

I'm not a girl who drives. Sorry. And good for you. Why would you? Like you live at such a central place for comedy. One month of the year. One month of the year. Here's my question. So you're going for how long? Like a long weekend, like four, three nights, four days. Love perfect amount. Gorgeous, that's heavenly. And that's when you go back after this?

No, we're going next week. Okay, gorgeous. Is it really good? Is it like proper like spas and like there's just a pool where you could be in? Oh yeah, we've already booked like our facials, our massages. We've got, we're going axe throwing. That's not part of the spa. That's just another thing you can do.

Imagine if it was, if they were like, and girls, we're going to encourage you up to pop down your tea. Pick up an axe and chuck it at that fucking wall. I am actually very relaxed at you saying that. Oh, nice, good. There's a good bit of ASMR then. Oh, my God. That's gorgeous.

Can I ask a personal question? Yes. You wouldn't want to do axes straight after the massage. They'd slip right out of your hand. I do think that is how we're doing it though. Oh, is it? It's a scheduling. Okay.

Well, dry them off. It might be a bit sleepy. And slippy. Yeah, but then like our muscles will be loose. We've got better range of motion. Drowsy, sleepy gay men doing axe throwing. That's scary. The fact that we're gay doesn't mean we won't be able to hold the axe.

Oh, no, but it does mean you're starting with a disadvantage. I hold weaponry all of the time. Time. Which one? The microphone. Like knives in the kitchen and like stuff, whatever. Oh, right, okay. Like scissors for cutting the ends of flowers.

Yes, that is true. I don't like the voice you just did there, but yes. I'm gay. I'm going to be. It's fine. Oh, you're too bristed for the axes, aren't you? They will be after the massage. They don't get our struggle, do they?

No. They don't. No. They really don't. What are you cooking in the kitchen with the knives? Like when you chop stuff, Helen. Yeah. I want to know what your signature dishes, though. I'll tell you the last thing

I made, and it's a recipe I got off TikTok. I don't, it's not bad, I don't recommend it. I get all my recipes off Instagram, it's fine. It's so fun. It's a lovely woman who made a recipe for a very quick, creamy pasta, but it was flavoured with gotcha jam paste. You know,

like the spicy sort of red peppery paste I didn't know how to say it, so it was kind of nice to hear it out loud. I might have said it wrong, but I said it confidently, so you never know. One more time for the people to judge you. Jang. Got you Jang. Yeah. Lovely. Gorgeous. And you just, it's like a creamy, it was nice, but I, like, my husband taste it and he was like, it shouldn't taste like that. Oh. Same more. Well, when something looks like it should taste it, so it looked like a tomatoy creamy sauce. And then you taste it. It was like, this is peppery and spicy. And so it makes me not like it. It's confusing. It's confusing. I do get that. It's why I don't love, like, when something comes out and looks like a dessert and it's actually savory.

Or something looks like a sweet. You're like, fuck all. Do you get the woman who like gets a massive oven dish and then she fills it with dry pasta and then puts like a block of like, I don't know, like a whole block of, like a kilo block of cheddar and then puts sauce over the top of it and then grates cheese over the top

and then puts her season. And then she pours like some chicken stock or something and she just puts the whole thing in the other. Yeah. And then she brings it out and mixes it all together. No, I'm on that side. Yes, I get them all the time. That's horrific.

Yeah. But it's inspiring. There's one that I can't, it always comes up for me from a channel called Carissa Eats. Uh-huh. And she just like, she doesn't cook,

she just talks about like all the food that she's eaten that week. And she's like tiny and gorgeous and it's like, you're baffing it up. Like, don't fucking lie to me. Show me the purge. Don't just show me the binge.

But she's great. And there's one where she's like, only eating foods that I saw on TikTok. And it starts with, someone who this is genius. They just make a pan, like a baking tray of just, marinar sauce and cheese and pepperoni

on the top of pepperoni pizza and they make a pan of French fries and they just pour it on top and they call it like pizza fries. I have seen that. I want it. It doesn't sound awful. It sounds amazing. That sounds so good. I just get loads of... I get two types of people. One is like lots of vegan women trying to be like

you want to get more protein in your diet so it's just like a lot of sauces made out of tofu. Or I get... See, lesbians. You can do it back. You can do it back. And I think they have some flaws, those lesbians. You said that like Chloe Pets is about to run and hit you. You what? Chloe's not here. You're right.

I mean, Chloe is listening, but not here right now. She is listening. But the other... Hi, Chloe, I didn't mean... Oh my God, sidebar, sorry. There's an axe, like a wood chopping lesbian on Instagram. Of course I is. Who my friends told me about it.

And then when I went to look at her page, she already followed me. a huge day for Catherine a massive day for Catherine it was very exciting anyway that's just an insight to me I also have a recurring dream

that whenever I send myself because I'm always sending myself Oh because of axe wounds I get it right yeah No but wow what a horrific thought No I have a recurring panic And I messaged her about the other day Kat Cohen former guests on this podcast

Love Katana but she is the only either Catherine that comes up When I go to send myself recipes self-care or Pilates videos on Instagram and so sometimes I have a nightmare where I'll wake up in the middle of the night sweating and be like, I sent them all to Kat Cohen and then she's just seen inside my fucking horrible mind.

Do you DM them to yourself? Yeah. Instead of like bookmarking them all. Yeah, bookmarking would be one. I okay. Catherine's in her late 40s. The skin cream really works for me. Wait, what do you mean?

And the Botox. Because you can just like, you can bookmark post that you like. again in your bookmarks Andrew if you want to I'll show you note that down to teach Catherine at the end do you want to sit with the gay boys for a minute Catherine and learn how to use your social media

well but where are my bookmark once we when we first moved into the studio Catherine wanted to do an Instagram story and the first five minutes of the five seconds of the stories is Catherine going is this a real am I doing a real? What is this?

But where are the well I don't think you You'd have any, because you've not saved any. Yeah, you haven't got any bookmarks, babe. Yeah. Do you, we can't do this on the podcast, babe. Just because of, sorry, that was Trustee Huggs. I'm on the Trusty Huggs account.

You can't see them. How do I find my bookmarks? The three lines and then go to Save, saved it. What three lines? Okay, here. Three lines on the shirt. On your profile. And then it's good to save.

There's a football content there. Saved ones. One Sophie Hagan video, one Phil Wang video. This is what I do on TikTok. You can save them to collection. So all of my recipes are saved in a collection. All of like my, I'm trying to learn some more Spanish. So all of my Spanish videos are in a different section.

Moisbien. My bien. Fascinating. Yeah. Can I... How useful. Do you want to hear about how I get my recipes? You love all those things.

Yeah, I can't wait. And that's helpful. I feel like I've added something to your life and I'm very pleased for myself. Well, done. Oh, that's very helpful. Can I tell you how I get? Does everybody else know at home how to do bookmarks? There's this amazing thing on Instagram.

Oh. I'm going to be that girl now. Are you going to edit me out and then look like you discovered it on your own? They'll know. They'll know. They'll be like, I'm just saying we're upholding a particular stereotype that I may have heard about your community of people. No, no, no, you're the, no, I don't know anything about it.

And thank you for explaining it to me. You're very welcome. Well, we should get more men with glasses on the podcast. More men with us? I'm not in that community. No. But don't you think we should get more men with glasses on? I'm burning loads.

I wouldn't make sense if I didn't have got... You're so cute. It's adorable. Who said that? Can I tell you where I get my recipes from now, please? Your wessepees. My wessepees. Good God.

I wait until I've got a meeting at like a fancy offices where it's not just the comedy company. It's like loads of different companies. In a reception, they have a thing that says magazines help yourself. And no one does. And what you want to do is bypass fashion magazines and go for country and home. Country and home

Right And at the back of it They do like a thing With a really cool restaurant And they put a couple of their recipes on it But then you have to take the whole magazine home Yes I know me and Neil love it With a little stack of them at home

But that's a tip of space And pick recipes No because you do it once And you throw the magazine away You don't like clip them out of the magazine And then put them in a nice like book No Okay

No I do have That would be too far apparently But I want the Leon recipe book At the moment You should do that then you'd be making your own recipe book as you went, if you like it, just put it in a little book. It's fun, it's cute. That would be gorgeous. I've got her

recipe book when she died when I was like I can't, it must have been 16 or 17 and I got her recipe book. It's fucking illegible and I can't get rid of it because that'll be awful. What am I doing with this? It wouldn't be eligible if they're out of magazines though. That's true. I think that was before photocopying. When was photocopying

invented? Why are you looking at me like I was there? I don't know. I see. I don't know. I'm going to say like earlier than we would think. Pre-1900s. Andrew. Pre-1900s. Because of technical.

No way. You're crazy. I'm going to go 1970. I'm going to go 1970. You're crazy. Helen? I'm going to go early 80s. Wait, sorry, are we saying photocopying or the photocopier?

Because I know that copiers were existed because Millie Dillamout from thoroughly modern Millie had to do copy. Which we need to type things up. Andrew, when was photocopy? The photocopying machine was invented in 1938. Whoa! You were. closer than, we were as close to as each other.

I wouldn't by three years, but that's fine. But Helen was crazy out. That was really quick maths. Oh my God, 18th century is, 19th century is crazy. They had plug thickets in the 1930s. They had electricity, yeah. Oh yeah.

We're learning a lot today. Because in downtown abbey, in downtown abbey they get light bulbs in the kitchen. That was like a thing in the first season and that's Titanic's, that's 19. 12. April 1912. April 19th, 19th, 19th 12th, is that?

I don't know the exact day. I don't know the exact day either, no. I'd be fucked up if I knew that. You should ask your mom from her past life. That's not funny, Andrew. She suffered. Was your mom on the Titanic? Yeah, well, she can't watch the film

because it makes her bones feel funny. Which she rose. Some women didn't invite her on a group hang to see the Titanic and then she said that the reason she didn't go is because she was actually on it, not because she wasn't invited. She can't hit Celine Dion because of the flashbacks. Shout out.

Man Bauer. Honestly, we stand this. This is one of the best things you've ever done with your life. I agree. Yeah. I agree. If someone mentions it, her legs hurt,

like she just gets a feeling in her body. Oh, my God, behave. Memories, memories, memories, memories. Yeah, like PTSD. What happened on the Titanic? She died. Oh, well, right. She wore really uncomfortable shoes, actually.

And then she died. Have you seen, um... Oh, actually, no, I'm going to say. She had those schedules. You know, the ones that tone your legs. I wish you could see the motion I was doing at home. But do you remember those ones that are like, they're like a rocking always for your meat?

Have you seen, do you remember Summer Heights High Thai, the TV show? Yes. I loved it. And it's like they've got a character and they're called Mr. G. who's like the drama teacher. I don't think it was ever in an episode, but you can watch it on YouTube. It's like Mr. G. Titanic, the musical.

And he's trying to do it at his school. So we've got the opening of the new swimming pool and the principal thought it would be a good idea to put on a show. So we will be doing Titanic the Musical and how it killed six million people. Six million. Six million. And then he goes on to sort of like do a show of it

and he's like, I'm a survivor so I'm happy. Drowners, big cheap. And it's so fucked up and I loved it. Wow. Type in Mr. G. Titanic Musical onto YouTube. Okay, I think it might be time for a problem. How are you with solving this or problem? What's your advice giving style?

you say some um if someone tells me something difficult that are going through i go like that that sounds bad there have i helped i'm very i think i'm very blokey with advice and that i'm bad at you are not a gay stereotype but oh how dare i i think you're more sort of like just find like i remember once doing a weekend at monkey barrels a couple of years ago and you just moved up there and i was like oh let's hang out and we went for a coffee and then i went to buy some tat and i I ended up buying a rubber duck locknest monster and a couple of the pieces of absolute shit. And you did not stop me in any way.

Well, no, I bought the same umbrella as you. That's it. Which I was then assaulted because I had the umbrella. You were. Yeah, I was assaulted. Because it was raining. That's why we brought the umbrella. What kind of umbrella?

Like a tartan. Yeah. It was like a normal red, like classic red tauton. Why were you assaulted because of it? Because some blokes on like a weekend away or something. I had the umbrella and they tried to get under my umbrella. and then one of them tried to take the umbrella off me and so I moved him away and I said you're actually pushing me into the street can you back off please and because of the sound of my voice men find it very easy to make fun of so then he called me I won't say it on the pocket we call me the F slur and then like I just went on my merry way with my umbrella they were very well I'm very nervous of this because I would have I would have got well I'd have cried Sam I'm so sorry I'm fine now and I was fine at the time as well it's like it's not the first time it's not fine I know I get it too but it's not

If any of the hogs who live in Scotland are seeing Sam do a show soon Please buy a tartan umbrella and give it to him afterwards Yeah please He doesn't need a fucking mirror Yes he does He needs a new tartan umbrella He got assaulted

So many umbrellas Because David buys really nice umbrellas And he doesn't let me use them Because I'll break them I will break them Wow what's yours What's his is yours Those are, that's marriage

Those are the vows Please can one of the Scottish hogs Go find Sam at a show I hate the world You're going to get a new tartan umbrella I can feel it please someone treat him what the hell but also if you can't that's fine what sort of tartan didn't red again or do you want like a purple green one do you know my husband doesn't actually have a family tartan because his family's technically from ireland ooh so he doesn't have a tartan

but he does have great vibes a lovely vibe oh yeah because of all the fun irish fight is coming off here right now beautiful gowns but does he have great vibes I'm sorry we started too early recording today and I feel crazy right next time next time we're doing like 6 p.m. in the evening before gigs. So what you're saying, Sam, is that you're bad at advice it on that note. Let's hear a problem. Maybe it's a blokey problem.

We get those all the time. Great. If it's something like my printer isn't, like, doing the paper properly, that I can help with. Oh my God, amazing. Okay. Last week, Andrew,

control-fed lesbian on our emails. I had 100 emails come up. Yeah. Control F bloke. And I guarantee you it's going to be zero. Or man. Not man, because there's a lot of man complaining and hating.

Helen. Oh. Control of bloke. I don't know, GMO does this. No results for bloke, but showing related results, we just have man and guy in it. How many?

How many? Who? Um, 20. A fifth. All right, we'll take one. Let's go. It's a blokey problem for you. Okay. This is from Dave.

My carburettas. What's the carburetta? Sounds like a cornetto, doesn't it? Is it an ice cream? A gelato even? It's a car part. Oh, it's a car part. Oh, yeah.

It is. Oh, no. Here's the problem, which is. drama involving jealousy, friends and a wedding. Ooh! The listener, Sam immediately just lit up the way he hasn't at the entire time.

Yeah, give it to me. Give it to me. This is from N. Hi, N. Hi, N. Dear Hogs, I have a dilemma. My best friend's friend one sister is getting married this week. Hang on, hang on, hang on. This is going to be a complicated one.

Friend one, their first friend's sister. There are three friends. The first friend's sister is getting married this week. getting married this week. Oh, so how long ago do they send this email, Andrew? A year. Oh, okay. We are sorry we are working on a backlog. They've been married for 364 weeks. Go on?

I have a very tight friend group of four people. And one of my friends, Brackett's Friend Two, accidentally let's slip this week that he and our other friend, Brackett's Friend Three, are going to said wedding. Okay. Okay. I understand that weddings are very selective events and that Friend One might have only been allowed to guests, but the guest list would have been made months

and months in advance, meaning that friends one, two, and three have known for months that they were all invited, and I was not. And they never told me. I feel really hurt that my friends felt they had to keep this a secret from me, but also I feel guilty that I'm slightly jealous of friend two and three for being selected by friend one. Hogs, how do I bring up the fact that I feel excluded and sad that they felt they couldn't tell me without seeming jealous and making friend one, friend one feel guilty for a decision that might not have been hers to make? Thank you, I've got a good personal experience story on this. Do you? Go on.

My school enemy. I will not name her on here, but if you go back to the backlog, you've got to figure it out. Initial's A-B. She was invited to... Anna. Not Anna, no.

Alison. You know who it is. A bitch. Oh. She's a bit. Yeah. I didn't get the... I'll tell you afterwards.

Do it... Do you... Do you... You were not doing this. Do it again? I didn't see it. yeah okay with you yeah yeah yeah okay so she was invited to a wedding and our friend was only having her sister and um her future husband's sister and one of our friends who lived with her

family from like when we went to secondary school yeah so like basically like a sister as well um and that was it because she was like I can't afford to have loads of bridesmaid and this girl said well I won't go if I'm not in part of the wedding and we were were like, oh, come on, grow up. Of course you're going to go. Like, it's just what it is. I won't go if I've gotten in the bride of party.

She didn't go. Really? She refused to go. If she wasn't part of the bride? Because she's the worst. Sorry, and how is that the same as this? I just had to mention it. Okay.

But you were saying the opposite, which is this person saying I wasn't invited and you're like, oh, I know people turning down weddings because they're not high enough status at them. That reminds me of one of my favorite ever done to the bride episodes. Here we go. They're running low on budget. So the guy says to his groomsman,

you're going to have to buy your own suit. and this one guy's like, what the fuck? It doesn't even come to the wedding. He walks out of the entire wedding just because he had to buy his own suit. Beautiful, it's great episode. That's very funny. That's very funny.

I think that's kind of great. I think that's such a good... That is a man who was looking for the first excuse not to go. He didn't want to go at all. And he was like, okay, the second he says even anything, I can take an insult to, he was like, here's my moment. And then the camera's going to him and he was like, what the fuck?

And then he was like, who, that guy had another wedding to go to that weekend. He just didn't know how to get out of both. that's so funny there's two parts to this problem from N here number one is feeling hurt by not being invited but I think the main problem

from like hearing how you've written it is that you're so upset your friends didn't tell you that they were invited and you weren't you feel that's the betrayal it feels like that's worse to you it's also cringe to think that they were all like we mustn't tell the person

in case like they can't like cope with it or like it's just and them having a secret it's just like weirdly bonding for them and weirdly exclusive They could have been, the friend two and three could have been asked by friend one not to say anything to this person. Definitely. Definitely. I think it's more likely that's the case, to be honest with you. I don't know. Who did you not invite to your wedding that got upset?

Well, thanks for bringing this up. My wedding was during COVID. So like, we went from 170 people to about 15. Incredible. It must have to rescind invitations. Sort of. We'd sent save the dates already. Yikes. Yeah. But then everyone just. watch on a Zoom, which is like just as good. That's nice. Yeah. It's just as good. Yeah. Unless they wanted to party in which case. But you couldn't really

on a COVID wedding, so fine. No. God, you must have saved so much money. Nice. I'm so rich. Oh, no. Just a nice intimate wedding. Lovely. But back to N. Who's again not invited to the wedding. Number one, and I will say this. No, it does this. You don't want to go to every wedding you're invited.

No, you don't. If anything, it is a blessing. Is this too, like, simple a response? Because I think you would They would assume that you would feel like jealous and upset by not being invited to the wedding anyway. So why care if they think that when you, like, confront them? Just be like, why didn't you invite me? You know why they're going to think you're upset? So just be aggressive about it. Turn up at their house, like in the middle of the night.

That is terrible advice. I like that's bad. It's worse than hell and even by like it. It's like, yo, why didn't you tell me I was invited? Yes. I think you'd say to your friends, hey, if anything like it, ever happens again, please tell me because I hated not knowing

and finding out that you all knew and you didn't think that you could tell me and then this is the tricky thing when you say something like that it's very easy to get upset. If you're crying when you say that and they go, we're scared that you'll get too emotional

you've got nothing to fall back on so you have to say it very strong being like, can you tell me things? Can I say by the way, I'm really sorry for screaming just then and indeed the last few episodes. I've really taken to screaming and the reason is, it's so unlike me

but the reason is basically we were making coffee outside of office squawking a bit as Helen and I are want to do and a man popped his head out of the next office and was like keep it down and honestly since then I can't help myself but make more noise to annoy him so I do apologise to the listener

Wait wait no no no stop for a second What the fuck is wrong with you If someone was screaming in the corridor We were recording an episode You'd be the first to go down to be quiet I know it's not right I'm a complete hypocris He's in the right there we were screaming in the corridor He could have said would you mind please it was a way

He was clearly on his headphones He was clearly on a call Wow, you've real much more empathy than me I think I feel bad that we were screaming in the corridor I thought that was disrespectful of us That's so interesting whereas I've just like Subconsciously obviously I've decided to scream more I just like a fight

So yeah He had a face like a slapped ass as well Well that's the thing Well he should smile more Yeah And can I say something Can I go other way Please please do because we are being useless

And be aggressive because they already assume I'm saying, just confront them and not worry about how it comes off. Because you're right, they do already think the things that you're worried about them thinking. You're saying, please don't put me in that position again because I hated not knowing. Oh yeah, but also like, I mean,

I wish that we'd got this the week it was arrived of poison the food, join the wedding band. Do people have to send in follow-ups? I hope. Yeah, yeah, we'd say what I would have done. If you're still a listener. I'd have shut down, not mentioned it again, distanced myself from the entire group

and made new friends because I'm very healthy and very comfortable with confrontation okay and I'm going to level with you this has been awful for you oh new idea new idea and you're written in to get advice and it's been even more awful for you this one still works okay

seduce sister of friend one break up the marriage wow went to a failed wedding sorry That's good. Thank you. That is good. Thank you. I'm a really big fan of that one.

Still applies now, still will work. It's a slow burn revenge. You should be allowed to say to your friends, hey, let's not have secrets like that. Like, I understand that I wasn't invited because they're numbers or whatever. But don't all know that you're invited and talk about it and be like, don't tell me.

Like, I can tell me because otherwise it's weird. I would agree, but if the secret is like, oh, the secret that we all keeping from you is that we actually don't like think you're a very good person. I'd rather not know. Oh, don't tell them. that that's different. Yeah that's not really, you've just, you've extrapolated that

now and that's quite hurtful. Well, we get I think we should look at why this person wasn't right, maybe there are terrible pancies her. Oh my God, you were such a bad person. Did I miss something? It's because the sister fancies her and that's like enough Was that in the mess? Or is that just you having a bit of a fantasy? Okay.

No, Catherine always seems like, once a, you are so bad at advice. Yeah. That's like, you've gone. I didn't lie about that, so I don't feel like I should be confronted but like actively terrible. But you're like, I see, you're paranoia, let me add gasoline. If you see how this would make you feel, you're probably right. Gosh.

I think we should say a thank you and good night to sound like. I think so too. Sam Lake. Quite frankly, it was insane. Where can people find you other than by like a following tartan umbrellas around? I am a licensed therapist as well. I've genuinely had worse therapists than you. Oh, that's awful.

Yeah. I'm very underqualified. No, that's okay. So tell us, where can people find? find you online. Online, I am at Mr. Sam Lake. Oh, hello. Hello.

At Mr. Sam Lake on Instagram. On everything. On everything. On everything. And tell us, are you going on tour? I am. Where are you going on tour? No, you're not.

I'm going on tour. I mean, you must have realised I never showed up. But I didn't see your show in Edinburgh. When are you, do you bring it down to London? Yes, but I don't know dates yet. Okay, that's okay. It's not officially not. Where will they find out that the tour is on?

It will be on my website, samlakecomody. dot com forward slash tour great and then the second question is what's the show

called so the Newby and I is aspiring dill and the poster is so fucking hot it's great it's a little sexual

we ran into each other in the street and you said that I was giving off a very straight look yes oh my God

you really were yeah but I didn't know you as well I thought like now I think like you could kill me

with an axe like I've really learned a lot today I could but I won't but you won't because you'll just have had a massage

so Yeah, I'd be too relaxed. I'd say follow Sam on Instagram and then you'll be able to see everything when it pops up there. Woo-hoo! Oh my God, last thing to say is I forgot to tell you that I recorded a radio show when I was in Edinburgh

and Sam opened for me and was amazing. Single favourite joke of the Fringe was the joke that you told about J.K. Rowling and Phoebe Waller Bridges show. Lost to a crowd of... No, you opened for the radio. We will continue this conversation with the extras, but we're going to finish up the...

We're in it. But what about the main... We'll wrap up the main episode first, Catherine. Otherwise, Andrew's a nightmare editing. And you have to know that. Is it hard to edit podcasts, Andrew? Yes. It's time consuming.

Oh gosh, okay. Well, wait till you find out about this thing to save time. It's called Buck Marks. Oh, my God. Sam Lake, you've been an absolute treat. Thank you so much. for doing our podcast. Terrible advice

for very funny and comedy. Sorry, the person you're probably a lovely person I'm sorry, I take it all back. Oh my God, weak. You're weak in the head. Oh my God, I can't win. Okay.

Get up for Samley! So cute, so funny, so nice. You're going to be able to be.