Trusty Hogs - Ep103. LAURA RAMOSO / Babe, Berlin & Breakfast Buffets

Episode Date: October 12, 2023

A very exciting episode with Instagram & TikTok Sensation LAURA RAMOSO! Known for her 'German Mum', 'Italian Dad', and 'Girl Who Just Got Back From...' videos, Laura is a fantastic comedian who we were lucky to get on the show whilst she was over from Toronto. Meanwhile Helen's mice drama escalates, Catherine has a new T-shirt and perhaps the greatest wedding story of all time...FOLLOW LAURA: @Lau_RamosoOUTSIDE IS AWFUL (Zoom Shows): www.ticketsource.co.uk/kerfuffleThank you so much for listening!Support us at https://www.patreon.com/TrustyHogs for exclusive bonus content, merch, and more!Trust us with your own problems and questions... [e-mail] give us a follow @TrustyHogs on all socialsBe sure to subscribe and rate us (unless you don’t like these little piggies - 5 Stars only!)Thank you to our Patreon supporters...EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Guy Goodman / Simon Moores / Mary Fox / Annie Tonner / Sarah Jarque-Deakin / Oliver Jago / Anthony Conway / Matthew ThomasPRODUCERS: Richard Bicknell / Elle / Richard Bald / Neil Redmond / Victoria Hutchison / Harald van Dijk / Tim & Dom / David Walker / Rachel R / Sadie Cashmore / Claire Owen-Jones / Jess & Nick / Zoë / Sarah & Molly / Raia Fink / Cordelia / Rachel Page / Helen A / Tina Linsey / Graham Marsh / Amy O'Riordan / Abbie Worf / Kie Web / Matt Sims / Luke Bright / Leah / Kate Spencer / Tristin / Liz Fort / Taz / Klo / Becky Fox / Emily Gee / Dean Michael / Glenys Wood / Stefanie Catracchia / Sophie Chivers / Marc / Anthony / Carey SeutheWith Helen Bauer (Daddy Look at Me, Live at the Apollo) & Catherine Bohart (Roast Battle, Mock the Week, 8 Out of 10 Cats)FOLLOW HELEN, CATHERINE & ANDREW...@HelenBaBauer@CatherineBohart@StandUpAndrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Andrew just said the words I'll give you a thumb when we've done enough Like the phrase I believe is I'll give you a thumbs up And there's something so threatening about I'll thumb me you while I'm done with you

Andrew just you know You can thumb me any time No consent needed That's just a blanket consent That's just a blanket consent for that Welcome to episode 103 of trusty hogs I'm Catherine Beoward She's Helen Bauer

We're going to tell you about our perfect perfect lives And then we're going to answer our listener problems Helen has her period Andrew's being threatening Emma's back from holidays And I'm here Hello

Hello! Maybe not. I've been through it. I can't. I can't. I've been through it. No. Here, is it just the every period?

Nope. What else? Jacob. Not this again. I can't. You shouldn't have named him. Yeah, okay. I don't like it if you have any communication with snail.

You shouldn't have named him. So we've been aware on the podcast for a couple of weeks now. I had a slug problem, which has been dealt with. All good. They've just gone. They've just gone. And a mouse problem. What do you mean they've just gone?

They went. They're like just not there anymore. Are they under your bed? No, we like put salt down so they wouldn't go certain places. And now they're just not there. So it's like maybe the slug season's over. Then we had a mouse. Then we realized we had two mice.

One was counter mice. One was floor mouse. Okay. Now counter mouse. Oh, I thought countermouse was original mice's enemy. No, no. Countermouse was very naughty. very naughty

but not very bright now here's what happened we bought like these electric plugins to make a noise that we can't hear to try and get rid of them but then it turns out it draws them in more

for three weeks and then they go away why would that be the same no that Sunil bought them I think they're wrong I think he bought the wrong thing I think he brought like a drawing in device for animals

anyway like a snow white plugin like a silly snow white plugin so but then And then one day I was in the living room, in my bedroom. And he was like, oh my God, there's a mouse. And I went, oh my God, where? So I came out.

And he went, he went that way. He's gone down that way. And I was like, there's nowhere out that way. He's behind the microwave. There's nowhere out. And so what are you going to do? And I was like, so what are you going to do? And I'm going to capture him in a bowl.

I made him pull the microwave over. I caught Mousy in a bowl, put him onto a sheet. And then I threw him over our back fence. Hello? And he ran away. And then the next... How do you know he made it okay? Did he make it out?

Yeah, because I saw him land and run. And then he burned the bowl? No, washed it. Oh my God, we should have burnt that. Yeah. I don't know which one it is now. Yeah. No, we, I think Sunil cleaned it pretty well.

And he wasn't on, he wasn't in the bowl. He was under it. You know? And only for like 60 seconds. Right, so one's gone. So Catherine's not coming to mine again. No. You lost me at slugs, to be honest of you.

Then the other one could not get him for love nor money. I called him Jacob. He was very silly. He, um, one night, one night. Not so silly that he couldn't outsmart you. He loved a thousand pound sisters. He loved all the TV shows. He was just constantly watching them with us.

One night he came out, he found, because then he started taking over counter as well as floor, because he could have everything, right? Yeah. And he came out and he went on the drying rack and looked over at Saneal. And Saneal looked back at him like, uh, and he was like, Why are you doing a sultry face? Because he's silly.

Jacob was silly. And then he lay under the drying rack. Like, I'm in jail and that's where you want me, but you can't get me there. And then they ran away again. It was just so funny. And I was like, we have to get rid of Jacob. You described him like Gus from Cinderella. Yeah, he was.

He was so silly. What happened to him? What happened to him? So I bought Humane Traps. Right. I bought, they're called Mouse Motel Double Sweet Edition. so it's like in green

in green you bought a Barbie Dreamhouse for the most yeah well double sweet edition so it was big enough that if they get caught they've got a little bit of room you know

a bit of happiness right and it would just stickers with it you could decorate it it was really fun right so I set up one on the counter

and one on the floor what do you mean decorators um so it's like it's just fun for me hello and then put one on the floor

and then I read that they like peanut butter so I put peanut butter so I put peanut butter in and I put loads in so then like even if they did get caught they have a snack for a while.

Right. Next morning, wake up. Where's Jacob? On the floor inside of the mouse motel. And he has clearly had a terrible night of it. I come out, I see him, and I'm like, you know that feeling of like, obviously I want you to be caught, but I didn't want you to go in the trap 10 minutes after I went to bed.

And by the amount of shit and the panic and the, like, condensation from him clearly breathing heavily, that was inside, like, I was like, you've been in here for like six hours. It was awful. So I immediately, like, run down to St. Neal's room. And I'm like, wake up, wake on, wake on. Jacob's awake. Jacob's awake. So, um... Sorry, this is fucking out.

And then, and then I'm getting messages to my agent being like, you're supposed to be doing an Instagram live, a great Instagram takeover for the Soho Theatre. And I was like, you don't understand. There's a life in the balance. So then I was like, Instagram liveing for Soho Theatre. Like, I've got to go here. I've got a mouse. I've got a mouse. And then the Soho Theatre are like,

plug your show. You've got to plug your show. you've got to plug your show and I'm like, there's a lot. It was insane. And then we get to the park and on the way to the park I'm holding Jacob

inside of a tote bag so we can't see out because you know like when they're torturing people in like Guantamano Bay they cover their eyes they can't see what's going to happen. Guantamano, Guantamano, Guantamano.

Groundtomano. Guantamino. Guantamano. What is it? Guantanamo. Guantanamo. Well, I've not been. And he's covered.

And we're going to to get a cop please can we all calm down because this is important and we're going to get and then Cineal stops and gets a coffee and I'm like I can feel him running up and down

and I'm walking so carefully so as not to shake him and then we get into the park and then a bee flies right by my ear Cineal just went to have a coffee Cineal stopped to get a coffee on the way to the park and I was like what is happening but he was the one that was like we've got to go we've got to go he's having a panic attack and I was like I know he's

having a panic attack I feel terrible right now but you can't like after releasing the other one over the fence, I read that you have to take them like a mile away from your house and I was like, we should take him away. So they'll be back. Maybe. Sorry, focus on Jacob Brainer. Okay, so then we get to the park.

Have you ever read Jacob's Room by Virginia Woolf? Huh? Have you ever read Jacob's Room by Virginia Woolf? No, I read Room of One Zone. Which is like that series of essays about female writers. It was very good though. I didn't know what it was going to be that way. I think it's Jacob's room, isn't it? I think it's a ladder, not a room.

No. Just having to laugh with it. Finish your story. Okay, well done, Catherine. You knew a book name. I was so bitchy. I'm so sorry. Okay, so we get to the park and I get Jacob out of it

and I think you can just release mice into parks, can't you? Like, it's all chill. And I said, you have to release him near a body of water. So I went close to a pond. So I was like, then he's got an option of water. And I was like, there's definitely mice and he'll make friends. If you've traumatized him enough, he can drain himself. But he's such a silly mouse that I think he'd be like,

he'd make friends quite fast. Like he wasn't rude. It was just naughty. Can you stop crying? Come on. So I get him on the floor. I pull it up. He runs straight out and I'm like, bye. Like, don't turn back. It's okay. Like, we have to do a big goodbye.

Are you just left holding a double suite of shit? And then, yeah, like, I'm holding the Mouse Motel and he's gone. Put Mouse Motel back in my bag. You put the bag of shit and condensation back into your bag. Yeah, and then I went home and I washed it and then I washed the bag. You washed the Mouse Motel? They give you, like, when you buy it, they give you, like, a sponge to wash it out with, but that, like, don't wash it, like, so intensely that it ruins the smell of the mouse

because that'll make it easier to catch them in the future, because I'm going to keep it. You reuse it. Yeah. It's a humane trap. Okay. How do you think, okay, this is when it gets really dark. It's not a sanitary trap. So I've let go of Jacob, say goodbye.

I have a takeaway coffee from home already. And then I was like, should we just sit in the park in a little bit and just, like, calm down because I had like a BBC interview to then go do and then my tech and then my first show at Soho. Like it was a really big day. And I was like, you're right. I need to calm down. I just need to like just play my matching game on my phone. Yeah. And like relaxed bits. We went and sat by the bandstand. And as we walked away from my release Jacob, we turned a corner and there was a sign, massive sign, handwritten. Keep your dogs on their leads. Three gozzlings dead in a week. What are gozzlings?

Baby swans, which means if three gozzlings have been killed in a wig. I thought baby swans were signets. Oh, what's the gosling then? Oh, baby goose? Oh, no. There's dogs killing baby geesees in my area. If they do that to a goose, what are they going to do to little Jacob? And his mental health's not good after a night in that hotel.

I basically turned a corner, read that sign. Sineal saw me, like, start to collapse me. He's fine, he's fine. I went, you know he's not. He can run faster than a gozzling. And he doesn't smell like delicious chicken. Three gozlings dead in a week. Yeah, but gozling's dead in a week.

Can I, Helen, listen, I just watched a series called Alone on channel. Yeah, I've been watching it. You recommended to me. Nobody eats a mouse until they can't get fish. What I'm saying to is, if there are gozlings available, they're not going for Jacob. The shit's smelling me. Can I say one more thing then? If their dogs are going for the goslings and they're not going for the mouse,

there's then in the park, mean dogs and angry geese whose babies have been killed. But I think their beef is with each other. They're not going to touch Jacob, do you think? I actually don't think they have the time. It sounds like they're busy. Well, you really have had a stressful week. You haven't even mentioned my t-shirt. Mental health gay.

Mental health gay. It's a really good t-shirt. But can we just all just take a moment just to wish Jacob luck? on his adventures. We wish Jacob luck on his adventures. Can I tell you about my t-shirt now?

Yes, you're a mental health gay. No, that's not the point. Do you remember two years ago at Edinburgh I did this thing that I was like, do a nice thing for your mental health every day. It was the worst idea you've ever had.

People loved it, but okay, fine. Anyway, Ellen, my girlfriend, saw it and when we first met was like, it was telling me after the fact when I was hanging out with her and my best friend, Georgie and her husband.

She was like, I kind of wrote you off because I didn't think you'd be a laugh because I kind of thought you were like one of those mental health gays. And I was like, excuse me what? And Georgie loved it so much that she made me a t-shirt that says mental health gay. It's so beautiful.

It's such a horrible burn, isn't it? No. Ellen thought I'd be no crack because I'm a mental health gay. I think you're gas. Okay. Somebody's been to Ireland recently and I don't like when you learn our phrases. No. I have to tell you two things to cheer you up.

Okay, please, please do. Number one, you're mentally unwell. okay well hot kettle why are you here if that's not what you want from your women two things one i can't believe i didn't remember this in the moment i was washing my face the other night and i was like wait a second i've met the farmer well i haven't met the farmer from babe but i was when he came to my university to give his father so the guy who plays the farmer from babe yes came to my university to receive some sort of medal from the debate society because that's how they would get celebrities in to talk to us and obviously people

were expecting some sort of like charming, like little chat, a little bit of an interview. No, he's an eco warrior. A little bit of an interview with this 19 year old who was like the president of the debate society. This man took the microphone. I can't believe I forgot this. I have such bad memory. And gave, he was wearing a black

beret and gave what I can only describe as like an hour's diatribe on his time with the black panthers. Father hug at the actor. He is like a warrior. Farmer Hoggitt. Farmer Hoggett. But I just was like, I just had this like literally like very lucid memory out of nowhere.

I was like, wait a minute. I couldn't have. Yeah. Was he like in real life? Like would you have like, you know? Um, no, I wouldn't have. Okay, yeah. But like good height, right?

Okay, I know that you think he's girthy and would fuck. But it's not for me. And the second, isn't that cheery? That's insane that you've met him. Second piece of information that I want to tell you that I think we'll cheer you up is, as you know, I went to see your show the other night. And I do have a slight bone to pick with you, but then there'll be a treat at the end. So I went to Helen's show, and it's fucking brilliant.

It's so good. It's genuinely, like, you really have, like, nailed the... You've married who you are offstage, on stage, really well. As Catherine said, I had a great diversity of performance. What? He was because of weirdest compliments. No, I said the fact that you now do, like, so many acts and so many act out, so many different stories. So many accents. It's so good.

You must come see it. But it's so good. But no, it was a little hurtful that I went to your show and you listed all of your friends and I wasn't one of them. But that's why you describe all of your friends as like being from Hampshire and Burnett. Yes, so I'm talking about my school friends.

And then you list them out and you don't even mention me. Emma Black gets a mention. Emma Black's fucking, she's a thing. She's been in my life since I was four. You arrived when I was 26. Well, it was hurtful and I'll say this. I was the only one there on your round. opening night so what kind of friends are they

oh my god they came on wednesday they did yeah when you had it bedded in and practiced i was there ready to see you no matter how well it went holy to not be considered one of the friends savage anyway it's crammed i wait to you three times during the show and addressed helen did you wave at me or you just slag me off from stage i don't remember yeah exactly and listen i don't mind that if you were in my show i'd do the same but let's not pretend that that was compensatory is this about how i advertised trusty hogs the end of my life shows because I've already been doing this for a year

and a half so most of the hogs will know this. You do a horrible impression of me. I don't. But that's not what I was actually going to tell you. I was actually trying to cheer you up about your period so I brought you a story. Are you ready? Yeah. By the way, you bonding with my girlfriend afterwards was vile and I hated it. You love it so much. Like Catherine is like let's let my two girls get along. I do quite like it, but I don't like how you gang up on me so fast. You enjoyed it. So fast. Helen described my brother as an

easier raise. Like she'd prefer to be his parent than mine so she would understand if he was my parents' preference because... There's so much more context. I'm mentally unwell, queer and sidebar want to be a star whereas he's nice, lives near home and married a lovely Irish girl.

But just if you were choosing the child to spend the most time with would you pick the... I got it the first time, yeah. Hi, my name's Katta. um i'm bisexual i've got ocd i've got a hospital stay coming up perfectionism and then i'm going to move to london and become a star and it's like oh brilliant she's going to be fun whereas peter he's just sort of like i don't know i guess i'll get married and stay close to the family home oh my god ellen loved it so much because she's met him and also obviously prefers him so hey listen

let's talk about my favorite thing that happened at your show which is that i met two hogs their names were louisa and fiona hi louisa and fiona and they because of the the bit of my show that I'm talking about how much I love gossip, they brought me some. Do you want to hear it? Yes. Did they say we could say out on the podcast? They gave me full consent and permission in writing too.

You ready for this? Yes. Okay. So a friend of one of theirs had just been invited as a plus one, Andrew, you're going to want to pay attention as a plus one to a wedding. So she had no emotional investment in the wedding. She just went with her boyfriend.

They're at the wedding. They're at the reception, lovely wedding. Afterwards, she noticed there are these yellow stickers on some of the names name the place like name places what are they called place names what's the word I'm looking for name tags or things yeah oh no yeah see place cars yeah okay we are all not very bright well yeah it's tricky and we're tired and you have your period so listen we I'm losing a womb

lining so she's like I guess there for the vegans or something um but she thought it looked a bit messy not how she would have done it but that was fine so she was a bit judgmental this friend and I love that for her so she was like at the wedding and And it wasn't for the vegans. Midway through the groom's speech, he invites everyone with a yellow sticker on their name placard to stand. And four men do. And he's like, great.

The four of you fucked my wife while we were engaged. Not only, wait for it. Stop. Stop. Not only was his wife finding out that he was. He knew she cheated. Wait, wait, but they'd already had the ceremony. He did it to fuck with.

He was like, his logic was, can't get, I assume, can't get the money back now. So might as well make the announcement big so. But they had the marriage ceremony. He got married to her and now they're getting divorced immediately. They're not like married. They are immediately getting divorced. Wait for it. Wait for it.

Not only was she finding out at the wedding and her whole family that he knew that she cheated on him. I guess her family were finding out, but she did. Get this. The girlfriends of all of those men were also there. And also finding out. As it happened. Is that not the most scandalous, delicious piece of... I'm sorry, that is the wedding of the year.

Nothing will top it. Nothing will top. And actually, I do think having seen some people like break down weddings without getting married, you don't get a lot of your money back. So actually, if you want to go big, that is the way to do it. Yeah, there's that viral video. Did you ever see that one about the girl and she's like been jilted? No.

And she sends out her two pridesmaids and they're crying and they're like, like she just wants to say like let's have a party let's celebrate life let's enjoy ourselves she's want people to be crying and be sad and then you can like see that the bridesmaids like just try the best for oh god yeah well listen in this scenario isn't what wait but the fact that he was able to go through the i do's the walking out of the ceremony at dinner and then dinner speeches come after main before dessert i assume they did them dinner. I would be like, let's move it to starters. Let's move it to. But the thing

about it is, is like, I think that says to, to me that's like a man who's out of denial and into anger. That's like a rage. The only a rage would propel you through that ceremony. That's like, you have ruined my life. I'm going to fucking ruin yours. It's insane.

I'm taking back now. Are these seven stages of break up the same as seven stages of grief? So is it like denial and then anger? I just I'm assuming that he would be grieving the loss of his marriage. Holy fucking shit. I can't believe he's still not married I mean you can't know that I don't even have to get a divorce

Oh yeah 100% 100% Isn't that good I'm honestly Andrew has thumbed us Now Helen So we've got to bring in the guest I think

Please welcome to Justy Hoggs Laura Ramazzo Enjoy that delicious gosh Enjoy that delicious goss Oh, hi. As you may or may not know, we are doing a live comedy show, a line-up show. It's called Trusty Hugs Presents Outside is Awful. It's on the 31st of October. A Tuesday is Halloween, so why not come along, join us? And you can get tickets where, Andrew? It's a Zoom gig.

You can go to our link tree or go to ticketsauce.com.u.kowl. We got bloody well celebrities on there. Come on. Welcome to the podcast, Laura Ramosa! Welcome to the podcast! Thank you. How the hell are you? I'm good. I'm good.

So worried. Like, in a way, I haven't been for any guest with such a media seat before, because just before we started recording, you said, can you curse? And I thought, oh, sweet God, this poor angel of a woman is in for some, like, a horrible hour. Oh, no, I mean, I'm cool. I mean, I'm cool. Yeah, first of all, you seem so cool.

First of all, I'm fucking cool. Oh, my God. Oh my God. Oh, my God. Cut that out. Sorry. Just breaks the microphone. No. I'm the con.

No. Yes. Yes. No. It's just you never know. I don't know. You never know. It's so nice of you to ask.

So polite. We haven't had anyone on this podcast. So usually Helen invites Helens. And by that I mean, she'll ask. It means she asks people onto the podcast who are more her than me. But may I say out the gate? Yeah. With this level of apologizing and concern for the rules.

It's a Catherine in the house. Yes. Isn't it like an Irish-Canadian sort of like joining forces thing right now? Maybe. Are you Canadian? I mean, I'm half Italian, half-German, but moved to Canada when I was 18, so I do consider myself pretty Canadian now. Yeah, they beat the politeness into you. They have, yeah.

And sorry about that. And Italians and Germans are also famously very polite. Oh, famously. They feel like in the world. I am obsessed with your videos. Oh, thank you. I hadn't seen them until Helen introduced them to us, and now I'm like, oh, German moms are me. I'm German moms to my internal monologue to myself is, is that. You are so harsh on

yourself and that's 100% what it is. I cannot wait to become a German mom. Although a German mom is harsh unto the world and very confident of themselves. Oh, I, okay, I've managed to invert it. Invert. So I guess maybe I'm more of an Irish mom, but it feels like the world's great. Why are you ruining it? Right. I'm a German mom through and through. I genuinely believe I have the power to change the world for the better single-handedly. And at the same time, I also think everyone else

is doing everything wrong and they do need my input with it because I do think I see things clearer than most people do. I also think my intellect is higher. Right. Is the level of... And I'm beautiful.

Yeah. And everyone really fancies me. Wow. Do you need us to go? No. Is the level of involvement in your life? Is that accurate?

Of your German parentage? Yeah. especially when I was living at home obviously and in you know in your university years I mean now it's a lot more we're not adults and I'd like to think but especially when I go visit yeah definitely okay very very involved and super outspoken and no knocking on the bedroom door just straight in there just straight in there yeah yeah yeah it's truly a quality that I um found the most stressful as a teenager I used to work in Germany did you used to work at a hotel during the breakfast buffet you get two minutes to speak in German by the way two minutes you

We don't need to speak in German. It's an English language podcast. I know, but I felt like, wow. You speak in German to all the people who don't speak German on the point. It's like, it's a beautiful language. Wait, are you not very good at German and you're scared to speak to someone

you actually speak to me? No, I can't you read. Okay, I have a Berlin in a hotel, yeah, I'm a hotel. Yeah, I'm going to go to... And all the other Kellenrenren was so Dutch and she was Sylvie, and she was always, Okay, Helen, make this so forth!

No, so forth! Wishing! Vision! And then I have a video seen and I thought, oh my God, it's Sylvie, and she was also a mother, and I'm that also. She's a German mother. She's very good, yeah. No, actually

10 at a 10. Wow, that's amazing. Thank you. You did the breakfast buffet at a Berlin hotel. Yeah. Why are you saying that with such disbelief? I mean, I don't have the vibe of someone who ever worked in service. I think hotels specifically are like such, I mean,

I did front desk at a hotel for two and a half months. Which hotel? It's called it was a I don't know if you should say the name but what was the vibe? The vibe was like, I love that you're protecting the hotels on the image I don't know why. Good for you. Good for you. I don't know like the Marriott Courtyard, Berlin, Axel Springerstrasse.

No, it was an independent hotel but like very okay so in Canada you know Canadians because there's a lot of English or UK immigrants in Canada are they're obsessed with like the UK and the sort of the Anglophiles. Okay. Anglophiles. And so it was a very, like, dark, you know, they want to do the dark wood, like, manor, English. Loll. Hotel.

They didn't say like that, but I am. That sounds like a place for loose women hang out. Yes. It's a hotel, girls. That was very Texas. It's a hotel. I'm going to pray for you. Yes, me too.

Actually. No, it was like dark wood, like, we are equally like you guys. Wow. Wait, what are you trying to say? Let her have it. Leave her alone. Leave her alone. Leave her alone. Leave her alone. Hotel.

In the age. Dark woods. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like carpet. Uh-huh. Is that specifically English and Canadian's lines? Carpest. Just dark.

Carpet. Okay, yeah. Darkness. It's darkness. Beers. Okay. Anyway, forget everything I said. But like, then the, this is like, just, uh, just, uh, okay.

I'm going to say this is just a hotel that just hadn't been like redone up since the 70s and instead you're describing it as like a woodland retreat for those who need to get away and arrive in the middle ages

you'll leave with your tummy's full and a head of plague classic England okay so you know the lettering on the outside was like gold and like dark green something you see they're going for like ye oldy British

ye oldie lowly low you can murder your wife I'm with you yeah yeah wow oh god no but like but then it was the most boring job in the world that's a shame it is a shame

it's just the same conversation over and over like hello welcome checking in deposit everyone's always surprised that there's a hotel deposit like you know your security you're like they have to take your card yeah credit card they're like I'm gonna be fine I'm like are you gonna be fine we don't know

it's normal just met you yeah And I had to wear, you know, a very loose-fitting, like, Vicarra, not Viscos. What's Viscos? What's Viscos? Like a polyester? Yeah, flammable. Yeah, with like a name tag that's like weighing down the fabric.

You know, like, I'm Laura. Like, it's way to do it. I had a non-shel that was perfect and gold, but maybe it's just better at the Marriott. That's better at the Berlin Marriott. A little name-shield, a name badge that said Helen Bauer. Both? Both are all right? First and last?

Yeah, Fra Bauer. Yeah. Frau Bauer. Wow. And I was so fucking sexy. But maybe it was a different hotel, you know? Yeah, maybe. We didn't have carpets.

Was the conversation the same every morning? Eggs or beans or coffee or... It was just... Good morning! Morgan's a coffee! And then I would pour them coffee. Were you also the wake-up call at the same time? Yes.

They... I started working there. I like my breakfast with a side of extreme anxiety so that I'm awake. Yeah, true. Within two weeks of working there, they realized that my energy levels were like... Usually when I started

new job everyone thinks I'm on like cocaine or something and it's like I'm not I'm not I'm just like the world's exciting and I want to make a nice impression yeah and they weren't too hard on it so they were like right so you're the 430 a.m girl so I was the one that went and put all the mix milks out on the tables like really early because they were like she can handle it but I immediately spooked myself because the hotel was right next to like checkpoint Charlie so I'd have to walk through it in the first hours in the morning and they'd be like rats going across and I was like checkpoint Charlie it's like where the wall like you could like go between it like the Russian side and the, like

western side in Berlin. But it's still like creepy deep. Yeah, they've got like a big framed portrait. And they have like sandbags. Yeah. Like it's like military sandbags. Just like... And I'm like Donald's. It's not like, yeah. Yeah. Wow. And a curry verse museum. Okay, nice. That sounds amazing.

But I imagine walking through that in the early hours at dawn with the rats. You're like, let me prepare what I'm going to say at the border. But I also because like I'm one of those people when I'm walking around the streets, I pretend that I'm in like a different era sometimes or I'm doing something different.

Laura just described an entire group of people who, because of a dark wood and some carpet, decided that they were in 1920s, England. So please, you don't have to explain here. Like ghosts, like when you're in ghosts and you're like pretending to be... Can we talk about how they gave you the 430 slot

and you were like, it's because I have so much energy and I was well able to handle it and not they were like, she's on cocaine. We need her to be away from the guests. Oh. I think she just realized

that might have been like you're too much for the guests Oh my God and then Because of that time I started They put me on break At a different time from everyone else Uh huh

So I was alone in the So also too much for the stuff Oh baby Helen No they made me so many cards when I left Were they like thank you for leaving? Like get well soon Can you go down? No, I'm going to message.

No, I'm going to message some people and check this because I think I was popular. No, no, fuck this. I was offered a promotion. I was offered a promotion to... Work in the back. Oh, my God. To work in the back?

To run a cafe separately to it that wasn't in the main building. Empty. Empty. Holy. Wait, am I not likable? No, I'm likable. No, you are so likable.

I'm fun. I'm fun. You're so likable and Laura's so cool and we're all fucking great. Don't ruin this for me. You know I want to be Laura's friend. Please don't ruin it for me. Well, I guess it sounds like you are, is like so fun and maybe not like a service place, breakfast, 6 a.m. We don't know how popular Laura was at the hotel.

Oh, not. I feel like as soon as it. but behind the front desk, I had no personality. Oh, really? Oh, it's okay. Oh, my God. Please don't be sad. That's fine.

I think that's how you're supposed to be in a service job. You're supposed to be like, hello, thank you. Have a great day. Thanks so much. Thanks. And honestly, anyone in a hotel, I think you're not the bad person here. It's the guests. The guests are annoying in a hotel.

Yes. They always want sex workers, like constantly. What? Oh. And it's like, no? I was like, they always ask for towels, but I guess... Towels and sex workers. And it's like...

Wait, is the word for both in German clothes? Because Helen might have got that wrong. Oh, maybe. They're like, what? I just wanted a towel. So you gave me a look. Are you like the guests are not the bad people at the hotel? I actually, do you know what? I used to work at 4 a.m. to 2 p.m. shift in an airport.

and my brother then went down to work in an airport for a while too when I actually it was not the guests that hotels are necessarily not bad I think I'm charming at a hotel but I can see how people would be bad you actually are

I've been away with you and incredibly charming everywhere he's life I hope but what I will say is my worst experience of working is people in the airport people lose their freaking minds in airports

like they lose all logic all common sense and I used to work when I was 16 at the outset outside in a hut where people would come along and buy tickets for a bus into town so by the time they came to me their flight had been delayed

their luggage had been lost they'd been travelling for 10 hours they were missing a kid or they still had their kid worse and then there's a real Irish person with red hair and they need a picture and they literally would ask for pictures there was two types of people who came out

right they were let's be honest angry Europeans who were like what do you mean we have to get another bus to the place and it doesn't go directly there and they could not understand a word I said or they'd be like do you speak English

I'd be like that's what I've been speaking the whole time or you would get a level of enthusiastic American that was like oh my God a laprician

who's a laprician at the airport can we get up and you're like first of all it's leprecon second of all fuck you thirdly

yes you can have a picture provided I get a tip it was hellish but mainly it was just like it was bad. It was just a horrible weather and people just being so mad they were travelling.

People do lose their minds at the airport. Have you ever gone to the airport toilets like in the morning? Like everyone forgets how to use a bathroom. Can I tell you something? So my soon-to-be sister-in-law I hope she doesn't mind me telling the story. Nope, can't do that.

How about I say this? Random person. How about I say this? My brother used to work in the airport and they used to be like somebody whose job it is to check that the cleaning was done properly. Like you have to maintain the service providers

and make sure that they're like all their job well and honestly like it's the single hardest job to have to clean a airport bathroom people are horrific like horrific and they get so sick on planes and they're oh oh yeah look i'm not going into it but there was one woman in the airport office who apparently really enjoyed it like found it very funny so she would like she'd be who enjoyed what as in she was happy to be the person who the cleaners sent pictures to for like for her reports oh like she liked getting the graphic She wanted all the pics. Let's not kink shame.

Let's not kink shame now. Sorry. It's really good. It wasn't a kink. It was just like she found it very funny. Oh, my dad, yeah. Sorry, to see poo. Poof.

Yeah. Because people have so much gas in them from flying, right? I would wager that an airport bathroom has sees more vomit than like a bar. I agree. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just in terms of turnaround. Horrendous. Yeah, airports are lawless places.

So I can imagine the bathroom is even, I mean, you've got people drinking at like four in the morning. And their flights delayed and then they're still drinking. And there's nothing matters at an airport. You're just, you're going for it. Yeah. But like the only rule that they make you follow at airports is still that if you're an adult, you cannot go in the kids play area without a child. The amount of times I've tried to kill time by going on slides and they're like,

absolutely not. And it's like, that's the rule we're following here. It's fucking bullshit. I'm talking about you, Shippole in Amsterdam. Huh. That's not a relatable problem. Hey, here's my other question. You're both at Soho at the same time.

We share a dressing room. We're best friends now. We do. So you're on at 7.15. 915. And you're on a 715. 715. Sorry, apologies.

Yeah, you should be sorry. And I am. And may I say, I am. Yes. How do you find the Soho Theater experience? Oh, great. I mean, unrelated. Helen's seen me cry already.

No. No. No. No. Just it's so good though. Oh, I don't know. Sometimes it's hard. Where are you based for comedy? Toronto. So I mainly personally... Do you want to hear what Laura's done this summer? A month for Edinburgh with added extra shows and then straight on to two weeks at the Soho Theater. Sweet Jesus. I know. So I'm having the best time. Did you do JFL? Did you do JFL before? I did JFL right before Edinburgh. me. So it's been a long time, but I just want to say when I said tears, I mean personally, I'm just been away from home for so long. We just, you know, caught me in a moment of homesickness. That's so fair. We're out of people because I'm

so emotional. Very emotional and motherly as well. Really earnest and sincere. But no, I'm having a blast at the Soho and I'm so happy to be here. It's been such an iconic. But that's so hard to be away from home for six weeks. When do you go home? I go home in a couple

weeks. More weeks? Where else are you going? I'm not doing shows but I'm going to go, my parents live in Italy and I'm just going to go visit them for a couple weeks before going home. Okay, that's amazing. It's also still like a trip with the family. Like it's still not quite full switch off. But it is the land of comfort food. Like if you were ever going to go to a place to eat, just like eat your feelings that you wanted to be Italy. Yes, it's true. And what do you go for ice cream or like the pastas? Everything. All of it. Just eat. Eat, eat, eat. Come on. Incredible. I know. Absolutely. And so who's waiting at home for so which like Canada home yeah oh my husband he's here now but he's going back this weekend yeah yeah yeah I love that he was like I won't be coming to see your parents oh yeah

and we can cut that out if you like yes no no it's all good I'll do the first section of the trip yeah yeah I will be leaving as you go to see your family I just think for me of doing a full month at Edinburgh and then straight to Soho for a couple of weeks oh no obviously you could only trick a foreigner into that, no offence. But I only did two weeks at Edinburgh, so it felt okay. But yeah, it's fucking, but I also said to you, like, you've earned your badge now. Yeah, point proven. You know the, like, I've done the full month at Edinburgh.

Once you've done it, you don't have to do it again. Yeah. I say that as two women who learned that lesson and then went back and did it again. You did the full month again. Oh, you've done it three times. I've done it three full hours for full months. So. The Irish love to self-harm.

Oh, yeah, self-flatulation, that's all that is. I've heard that, you know, after you do it, there's like a period of like, no, no, no, never doing it again. But then, like, the spring comes around and they're kind of like, it's kind of like having a baby where you forget the birth that occurred with your first baby. Except imagine every single year, everyone you know is having a baby. So it's not a case of like you'll be the one. You know what I'm saying? Everyone's doing it. And if you don't do it, you might be missing out on this amazing thing.

Yeah. has it been amazing every time no are you crazy okay we're both so medicated we spend so much if we make money from Edinburgh it goes on therapy

like it's sad it's bad yeah I'm no no but it's basically like it's a trade fair right it's like you go here my wares and hopefully that gets you enough

work during the year that it's fine that you lost all your money and well-being and you know a sense of self while you're there. What I would recommend is writing yourself a note. Now. Yeah, like, just how, like, it's been an amazing experience,

but, like, what do you really think you got out of doing it as an endurance test? Helen, no word. Last time you saw her, she cried because she's homesick. You're now like, hey, babe, in the midst of this year. Why do you write it out and actually think about it? Did you get anything from this? No, you get it stuff from it, but it's like,

do I have to do the full thing? because obviously we all want to create new shows. Like, I always want to do a new hour. But, like, how am I going to take that around and it be the most enjoyable way of doing it? Right? Yeah. Well, I mean, I had to do it at least once.

Yeah, you definitely had to do it. And you get your brownie badge and you put it on your sash. And well done. And well done. Yeah. Oh, thanks. Thanks. No, it was all in all, a very positive experience.

And I learned so much. I really, really did. But yeah, it was tiring. Of course. Of course it was. Of course. But also, then you get to go lie down in Italy and eat loads of pasta. Okay.

That sounds so good, actually. Doesn't it? I take that trade. Can we come? Yeah. Yes! Okay, I'm in. No, I'd love to.

We have actually been invited. I've heard the Vatican are selling a new range of magnets. How have you heard this? I'm a magnet collector. So you must, yeah, yeah. Keep up, Laura. Come on.

It's the new Pope, and he's like, eh. And they've got all these, like, quotes in Italian. He's not that new a pope. Which are, like, proper, like, basic bitch quotes, which they've like translated Are you being serious? Like the world's your oyster

And it's like him like Really? The Vatican that's from the Vatican Yeah They're official Well their merch has to be constantly coming out They need good merch That is good merch

That is good merch The selling options at the Vatican Like you want to have good totes Good beanies Like good magnets Bookmarking Like you might as well No you're dead right

You should really get on that Oh my God Anyone's going to the Vatican Please do Do buy me a fridge magnet with the Pope on it and send it in trusting house.

No one is listening to this and also going to the Vatican. Maybe you're in the Vatican right now and listening to us. You're not in the Vatican listening to us. If you are in the Vatican right now and listening to us.

Oh my God. This part... Something in Italian. Yeah. This part is an option on the guided audio to me. Could you imagine? You should do.

You'd be like, this is a painting. Okay, next. Yeah. This is a painting of Jesus. He's a baby here. I'll be like, what's the checkpoint?

You're like, wrong city. I can't believe I didn't know that that's what it was called. Don't beat yourself up about this. I've been thinking about it since. Okay. Mm-hmm. Okay, so, um...

Oh, dear. Hey, Andrew, do you have a, um... Do you have a problem for us? I do. Okay, before you tell us... Is it about Jesus? No. Wait, before you do it, Laura, what kind of advice giver are you, would you say?

the same person. I was just asking. Yeah. I mean, I feel like, but I always, I'm always prefacing with like, listen, this is my advice. So like, don't, you know. Oh, no, you mustn't just tell them this is your only option. Exactly. Because then if they do it and things go awry.

Yeah, you don't want to be held responsible. But I will, I believe in my self. Oh my God. I really believe that you did in July as well. That was the worst part. I was like, that was said like a woman who used to. And then she went. to JFL the fringe

Soho Theater and it's like I feel like Lord doesn't want to be touched but so we are similar but I was like I believe is yeah okay go on

please okay I'm already between the three of us we have one woman's self-confidence fabulous. Yes I can do anything as long as I put my mind to it Hi Hogs this is from C

Hi C I love you all so much I think you're amazing and as you're such great problem solvers I was hoping you could help I female was in a relationship for five years moved across from Canada to the UK for this woman

only to find out she was having an affair as we bought a house here and got a dog I'm a bit stuck bought a house here she has moved out of the house that was M saying the first thing she's Ever said on the podcast? Have you just heard Em in the background going, fuck?

M's first contribution to the pod of verbally. Fuck. Fuck. This is not okay. Whoa. Sorry, no, come on. We must let the problem. Let's hear it out.

So she's moved out of the house and is now living with the affair woman. My problem is I don't have many friends here as I work from home. And as we have so many house repairs to do on the house before we can sell it, it would make sense for us to be friends and get the work done in the. the house and maybe hang out. My question is, do you think you can be friends with someone who betrayed you? She thinks we can and that we are adults to move past things. However, it took me about six months of just crying every day to even talk to her.

I still love her, even though I know I can't be with her, and she has no guilt over what she did. She walks around like nothing happened. I feel like we maybe can be friends, but I don't know. I need your thoughts. The worst part is her friends and family don't know about the affair. They just think we broke up. Anyway, I will bring you across to Toronto with me when I move back.

But there you go. From C, quite a lot to unpack there. Okay. We all lent it. We all landed. Do you not think you need to talk to her to sort of like Canadian to Canadian? Just like have a moment. Can you tell her that it's still there and it's nice and it's waiting for her?

Girl. The six is there for you. The six, Toronto, is there. right the six the six is Toronto it's like another word for Toronto the 416 which is the area code it's that's kind of cool actually that was it was so cool it was even cooler before Laura had to explain it but yes it was so cool the six is every what okay um I am the thing that got me the most there's no guilt from this partner about having done this is is such a bad okay okay I feel like if this was, okay, work it out, work it out.

Here, here it is. You've got a house to take care of that you say you have to do repairs on before you can sell it. My advice would be to go into like stealth mode and I know it's so hard to separate your emotions from the situation. But you, this. Oh, like mentally lock yourself down like a psychopath. Mentally lock yourself down, write a list of all this stuff that needs to get done. on the house take control

go be like this needs to get done this needs to get done this needs to get done if you can manage it maybe stay with someone else I feel like it is not

conducive to be in this house together as friends I mean obviously she thinks she could be friends she's gone to live with the woman

she cheated on her with yeah oh okay she's left her in the house fun of the she's alone in the house she's left her

with all the responsibility I'll get to that go on okay so I mean I hate to say this that you're already like on your own and I'm sorry to say that but like make a list of all

this shit that needs to get done try your hardest to get it done quickly so that you can sell the house and just move home um not to say run away from this but like right girl run this this sounds horrible I'm so sorry that you're in the situation honestly honestly you need to just tell this fucking ex-partner of yours the amount of pain the six months of crying this is so painful. You moved, you left everything you knew and you moved across the world for someone. And when you arrived, they were cheating on you. You've been, this is wrong. Oh, fuck. I would, I would lose it. I'd be like, you're paying for me to go on holiday. I'm going on holiday. I'm working from there and you are going to do up the house and then we're going to sell it. And at the

end of this, I'm not going to be your friend. And if anything, I'm going to send you bad vibes. And this is not going to mean anything to anyone here. But when you go back to Toronto, we're grabbing a drink at Ozington and Dundas and that's on that. Okay. And now what is that? That is... It's an area code.

It's just an area code. It's another word for Toronto, Ozington and Dundas. It's streets and they've got a bunch of cute cocktail bars and cafes and like just a cute place to go to hang. Okay, here's the situation.

As I see it, what you have listed is all of the ways in which you are taking responsibility and she's taking none. So let's be clear. She cheated on you. That is in of itself horrific and I'm so sorry.

was there. But what you're saying is at no point does she have to face the consequences of that action around any of your mutual friends or her family. So of course she doesn't feel guilty

because she's allowed to continue living as if it didn't happen. She's left the house. So fundamentally she has left you with the responsibility of the house because she's living a very happy life where it seems like she has somewhere to be

until the house is gone, whereas you don't. And also ultimately the person who's there is going to be left with the responsibilities of letting the workers in letting workmen come through making the appointments it's fucked

so no you shouldn't be friends with somebody because here's the thing about being friends with somebody your friends should be kind to you she's not they should respect you she doesn't

and they should be fair to you and she isn't so fuck that she's not your friend what would be convenient for her just like her moving out of the house you sorting the house and her family and friends not knowing

is if you were her friend because it would alleviate probably the last niggle of guilt Fuck that. No. You're fine. Make the list, absolutely. Get the shit done. The bare minimum you need to get done to get it sold and get the hell out of there. Also, it doesn't have to be perfect to be sold. That's probably, I'm sure you know the parameters in which it needs to be improved for it to be like sufficient gain back on whatever you invest in the house. I'm sure you're a sensible person. But it does not need to be perfect. And well, no, house prices are down but interest rates are up so mortgages are harder to achieve. It depends. Sometimes it depends on where they are and what their house. is like, I don't know. I'll buy it. Also, there are frameworks in which you can sell

a house whilst not living in this country. So I don't think you should need to feel, if that is her, if those are your feelings that you have to be there till it's sold, that's fine. But make sure you're not, it seems like you're living by her set of rules in every regard. So is that actually true? And is it true for you?

Is what I would ask? And in relation to friends, you have every right to tell her family and friends. every right, they are, if they're in your life, because you don't have to pretend for her anymore. I think also you're going through the grief of a relationship ending and you've got none of your friends are here and their friends you do have a mutual and they think that you've just guys are just broken up so you don't have anyone to share this massive grief with you've been cheated on. Exactly. And you are allowed to talk about that with people because

otherwise you hold it all in and that's harder. It's horrendous that she's asking you to lie for her having lied to this whole time. Yeah. And the last thing I'd say is I do think, I do think, goddess temple. No, I do think you need friends. And I think for however long you're here, it's okay to try to make them. Whether that's like asking if you can go into the office one day a week, whether that's going to like your local pub quiz and seeing if anybody like, whatever. Like I don't like join a club, whatever, but like you need something one day a week that's just for you because it seems like understandably that level of deception and that level of shame that you must feel because I would feel so ashamed that I didn't know that I'm putting up with it that I'm in this country that I've left

my family, even though that's all unfair, you need to rebuild your self-esteem because it will be on the floor because she's ruined it. And do not be this woman's fucking friend. Wow, that was really great advice. Sorry, I really went into a pit of like, I'm so angry on your behalf there. I saw where you went and I was there to support it. I, how dare she? No, no, no, no. Do you not think maybe like a trip to the south of France to do the Mary Magdalene? cave might be a nice thing to do because Mary Magdalene was also wronged and

a lot of women congregate there to think about how they've been wrong Is this just a trip you and your mom went on? No, my mum went on it by herself well she went on with a witch that she met I can't May I say Helen C has enough problems and at the end of it

it's just a cave with a statue of Mary Magdalene and just like divorced women and I think C would love it Give this woman back a bunch of responsibility also, by the way. If you do make a list of tasks, stuff that's in her control that she can be doing, here you go, off you go. I'm not your fucking maid. Yeah.

And you don't bear the responsibility of keeping this news from your mutual friends because you think they might think differently of her or of you or whatever. But you didn't do that. She did that by cheating on you, not by you telling them that she cheated on you. Oh my God, yes. If she doesn't want them to know that she cheated on you, then she shouldn't have cheated on you. Exactly. Not that you should keep it to yourself.

Absolutely. Oh, my God, enraging. Oh, also, the idea that she's like, we can be friends, which obviously just implies that she didn't love you the way you loved her. And then you said that you're still in love with her. You're not to feel bad about that. It is way more normal to marry someone and buy a house with them because you love them and still be in love with them

six months after that breaks up than it is to marry someone, get a house with them and be cheating on them. That's the psychopathic behaviour. It's not of normal to be in love with somebody that you declared an interest in spending your life with. I kind of need you to be here, right? Yikes. I feel like you need a talking to you, like, face to face.

Like, you need love and warmth, but also someone to be like, this is fucking bullshit. You have to treat yourself like you would treat your actual friend in this scenario. Like, what would you do if your friend had this situation? And some days it would be, right, we're getting in the shower. It might be the only thing we achieved today, but we're getting in the shower and we're eating vegetables.

And I'm sure it sounds like you're, you've pulled yourself through that if it's six months of crying so fair fuck yeah but now like fuck that which camera is the one that's is that one yes see see listen this yeah listen to this um uh you i'll just say one thing is i think you have more control than you think you have in this situation like you have the control to get yourself out of this you do you maybe don't think you do but you absolutely do and just take it one step at a time go down that list and get shit done and you will do it. I think that's so true.

I still think I'd go to the Mary Magdalene Cave. I know this list thing is important, but like different personalities. But like I'd say Cave, too. Hello? Maybe you could write a list on the walk. Maybe you could write the list on the walk. Thank you, Andrew.

I don't like having two Catherine's here. Yeah, sorry about that. Wow, my heart goes out to you. But also just like, and also the last thing I'll say is like, that other woman who thinks that she's won some prize, Poor her. Oh yeah. The one that's not living with this one.

She thinks she won something so shiny. And at some point, like anyone who could do that to you will, if not do that, doesn't understand the dynamics of relationships and what they respect or like what they require in terms of respect or like maturity.

So fucking all that's going to be like that. There's just so much of this problem. But the main takeaway is she's not your friend. And we have more control than you think you do. I think that's such a good point. And the six is waiting for you. The six. And the six and Dundas.

Garfield, was it? Yeah, Garfield. Dunders and Garpe was actually? No, it was a cocktail bar. No, it's not. It's a street, is it? I've lost. The six.

Go get some friends who are kind to you, respect you and fair to you. Oh, Canada. New friends are still better than that shit. Let's have some meeple syrup. Yes. Yucatan province. Is that a place? No.

That all that's Mexico, isn't it? Yeah, I think so. No, wait, wait, wait, UConn, UCon, because of the Yukon of the Yukon. Did you see that cartoon when you're growing up? No, I didn't. Yvonne of the Yukon. I didn't.

And he just wore pants. Okay. Hey, Laura, if you want to find you online, where can they find you? You can find me on Instagram on TikTok at L-A-U-U-U-R-A-M-O-S-O. It's my favorite Instagram channel. There's such funny videos. You're going to have the best. I'm actually jealous of people who are going to discover you now

because, oh, God, they'll have the whole. When you get sad, watch more videos online. That's a healthy tip. And where can people, so Instagram, they can find you on TikTok. What about if they want to see you do live shows? Well, in my Instagram bio, I have a link of all my live shows. Amazing. And Francis, the live show that you're currently doing is so amazing.

I saw at Edinburgh. It's so funny. And if you can get a ticket, lucky fucking you. Yeah. And now, the last thing to say is, if you see Laura in an Italian restaurant eating pasta or ice cream leave her alone leave her alone

she needs a break okay it's not time to talk it's not time to ask her how she is she's fine she just needs a minute thank you no she's good

she's fine thank you no she does appreciate it but she's having a little minute I will say though if you do need to interrupt her because you've got a magnet of the Pope I think that's allowed

that's allowed That's a lot. If it's to give a Maggie, then we'll be chill about it. Yeah, I'll share it over to, yes. I'm glad. I'm really glad we checked in with that. Do you know, I mean, the problem is you have to go home to your husband after all of this. I hope that he's not been cheating on you.

Yeah. What the fuck? Where did that come from? I'm C, actually. No. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

But I said if you were seeing, then you were saying to yourself, don't worry. You have more control than you. Thank you, dude. We're friends. Oh, no, no. No, no. Yeah, I'm going home to him. Yeah.

Good for you. Your smart. Having you on this side of the pond. I will too. It's been really nice. It has been great. Do you have a podcast? I don't.

I'm taking a little break, so I'm kind of happy. I don't have anything to promote. Promote your favorite pasta. What's your favorite pasta dish? Oh, my favorite pasta is to Carbonara. Really? Oh, you surprised? Is it because you don't do it right here?

No, hey, no, I don't eat meat. but um and also i'm not english so your offense can't hurt me um the food here is bad correct um but i was more shocked that it was such a boring answer sorry i want to flip the table you're free to fight back with her what have you heard about irish food that's amazing don't let her just do things like that like what's what oh i loved a potato don't be led by her to say something culturally insensitive don't do that don't follow her lead I even run out of those. So it's mad.

It's absolutely mad. Ran out of crazy. You won't wherever they go. I want the potato famine if you didn't run out of them. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. This is a strive.

What's your favorite Irish stew? Oh, I'd expect something more exciting. The Irish stew. But wait, so what's your favorite Italian dessert? I like a panacotta. Oh, silence. Listen. What's your favorite German dessert?

that. Um, a marmore kuchen. Oh, lovely. What's that? Well, wouldn't you like to know. It's a marbled cake. It's very nice. What do you like to know?

And what's your favorite Irish pudding? Yeah, what's your favorite Irish slop? Yes. See, this is it. This is it. And then you can just punch her in the face. No. What do you eat?

Your slop out of your pale. Irish food is bad. English food is bad. But of Italian. one of the best cuisines in the world. It's wild to just choose cream for Maine and cream for dessert. But that's cool.

It's not cream as egg. I know, but like it's just such a basic, it's just such like a boring, hey, good for, listen, yum. No what I mean good for you? Yum. Yeah. Yum. You obviously never had like a proper one,

and I hate to be this person right now, but you obviously have you tried. I'm raising your hand as well. I'm raising it, like, and I'm saluting because. Please put your hand dead. Please. I won't, actually. Um, wow, I'm sweating.

This is, I'm angry. Okay, you can, you can go. Thank you so, so much for coming. Let's never see that level of conviction around with Carponara. Because now we're just proving that women can't work together again. Okay, fine. Okay, thank you so much, Laura. Thank you, Laura. Thank you for having me.

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