Trusty Hogs - Ep104. SOFIE HAGEN / Spanish, Spiders & Spring Rolls

Episode Date: October 19, 2023

A lovely treat for you this morning, hot off the press (recorded less than 24hrs ago!) as we welcome the fantastically funny SOFIE HAGEN! We talk some Hogs classics like dictators, musical theatre, and sexual intimacy, but also hear some hilarious stories about funeral falls & releasing specials online...FOLLOW SOFIE: @SofieHagenDKOUTSIDE IS AWFUL (Zoom Shows): www.ticketsource.co.uk/kerfuffleThank you so much for listening!Support us at https://www.patreon.com/TrustyHogs for exclusive bonus content, merch, and more!Trust us with your own problems and questions... [e-mail] give us a follow @TrustyHogs on all socialsBe sure to subscribe and rate us (unless you don’t like these little piggies - 5 Stars only!)Thank you to our Patreon supporters...EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Guy Goodman / Simon Moores / Mary Fox / Annie Tonner / Sarah Jarque-Deakin / Oliver Jago / Anthony Conway / Matthew ThomasPRODUCERS: Richard Bicknell / Elle / Richard Bald / Neil Redmond / Victoria Hutchison / Harald van Dijk / Tim & Dom / David Walker / Rachel R / Sadie Cashmore / Claire Owen-Jones / Jess & Nick / Zoë / Sarah & Molly / Raia Fink / Cordelia / Rachel Page / Helen A / Tina Linsey / Graham Marsh / Amy O'Riordan / Abbie Worf / Kie Web / Matt Sims / Luke Bright / Leah / Kate Spencer / Tristin / Liz Fort / Taz / Klo / Becky Fox / Emily Gee / Dean Michael / Glenys Wood / Stefanie Catracchia / Sophie Chivers / Marc / Anthony / Carey SeutheWith Helen Bauer (Daddy Look at Me, Live at the Apollo) & Catherine Bohart (Roast Battle, Mock the Week, 8 Out of 10 Cats)FOLLOW HELEN, CATHERINE & ANDREW...@HelenBaBauer@CatherineBohart@StandUpAndrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ola! And welcome to Trusty Hoggs episode 103. Four. 104. And Ellen, Helen, Ellen, Helen, Helen has started to learn Spanish. Ola. Come's ta?

It's already pissing me off, actually. Why? I just, you're, A, you're too good at it, and you're so fast. Well, because I said, hello, how are you? And secondly, you're no longer speaking in full English sentences. and it's, honestly, it's too much. This is good for me to learn Spanish. I got, you know, Lara Rocote, friend of the podcast.

Don't say it like that. Lara Caricote. She's been teaching me. Tengo ambre. What does that mean? Andrew can translate, because I can't speak English anymore. I am hungry. Tengo ambre.

Por favor, pan. Oh, my God. Red, please. spread. Yeah, no, even I got that. It's good, no. Hello and welcome to episode 104 of Tristy Hogs, the podcast where we tell you about our gorgeous lives.

I'm Catherine Bohart. She's Helen Bauer. We're technically comedians and also apparently students. And we also then have a celebrity comedy guest in to tell you. To help us solve your listener problems. Listen, we're going to chit chat. We're going to chit chat with Sophie and then we're going to solve one of your bloody problems. I love how I say stuff and then you re-explanet it.

Because it's just better. It's my podcasting with a comedian. Through the fog, step forth the trusty hogs, yeah, you're gonna give them your problems and they will solve them, or maybe they won't, and that's your problem. They'll have guests and Andrew White on the tech. Oh, it's Helen and Catherine have the trusty hogs, trust the trusty hogs, or maybe not. feel like I have the spirit of a male comic. Oh yeah, 100%. Just like vibe-wise. I was watching, do you know

Sarah Schaefer? She's like a really funny... I imagine you sucked it out of one of them one time. Yeah, you see those male comics that are walking around just empty with no song. Withered. It's mine now. I should never have had that blowjob. It wasn't worth it. I'm such a sucker now. So you're watching Sarah Schaefer

comedian and friend of the pod. Love Sarah Schaefer. I was watching our show I think she might do at Edinburgh next year so I don't want to give it away but there's one bit where she's using puppets and it's like it's about comedy right and like she is the puppet

is like going to go talk to the industry and go network with them then all of a sudden it's like oh no here come the male comic and there's just all these puppets of men like you're an agent I'm an agent that's very funny

so pleasing that's very funny maybe I have the spirit of a male comic too do you really think though probably not I think you're too self-aware. Oh, that's kind. We didn't know where that sentence was going to end.

I was like, selfish. All comics are self-aware. I don't know. Oh, that's not true. Come on. Don't make me name names. I'll have to do it all fair. And you'll have to bleep it.

It's going to take ages. But can we note down to do those names after this? I'd be curious to know if our lists have changed. I took Ellen home this weekend. That's my news. I can't believe you went to Ireland without me. Took her home? My homeland.

No, I'm so sorry. Sweet Jesus. You're horrible. My home land. The Emerald. I'm going to Ireland on Thursday. How do you sound so Norwegian? I know I keep telling people who listen, go to Helen's show. My sister is going. Yay. Which is so nice. So great. She's so excited. So we went home and as always the case, Ellen's immediately my mother's favorite child. She's adorable. Also my mom lures a lesbian. And you're just by. And I'm just by. It's not enough. It's not enough for her. I never even wear a button down. So that's not true, but she doesn't care. And so then... What's underneath the pinnifor is that a button down?

It's like a blouse rather than a shirt, isn't it? And there is a distinction. But she... My dad, I realised like, you know when you're watching your culture through somebody else's eyes? Like, for example, I was... We were with a group of people and someone said, oh, God bless him. And I realized I needed to explain to Ellen that God bless him in Ireland doesn't mean like we wish the best for him or we have.

No, it's poor them. Exactly. Ew! It's me, but it's not just poor them. It's like, just to be clear, we all really pity that person. It's the Southern American version of, I'm going to pray for you. No, it's not. No, it's the Irish equivalent of yikes.

It's a yikes. God bless him is a yikes. You guys are such a bitchy country. Oh, we're so bitchy. And the other thing to say is that when you're watching your culture through somebody's eyes, you're like, oh yeah, I guess that is a man. story. For example, the notion of funerals came up and my dad was saying like

oh yeah, you have to be like, we obviously have to be careful not to stand too close to the grave. And we were like, sorry, what? And he was like... Looks, you might fall in? Yeah. Okay, yeah. And we were like, okay, you just said that like, that's normal. I was like, why would you fall in? And he was like, oh, it happens. And we were like, what do you mean? He's like, it's happened. I was like, what? No, get this. My dad was in training to be a deacon. They were at a funeral training. They had this man

and being like, you must never, ever a priest, ever go too close to the grave. And they were like, okay. He had done a funeral in wet weather. Oh, no. He'd fallen in not once. No. Not once, but twice. He fell in the same grave twice.

And my dad said, like, you could see it in his eyes. It was true. There was nothing, they weren't laughing. The full six feet. He fell in. I don't know if the coffin was. already in either so I don't know

what you'd want it to be wouldn't yeah well I don't know just for the extra foot I guess but do you want to land on wood

and a dead person or do you want to land to climb out isn't it? I'd rather land on mud than a corpse but well the corpse

is fresh isn't it it's just been like yeah and it's Ireland it's been buried within three days acidy thing isn't it we bury within three days too usually

you must you must but yeah so yeah anyway my point is like those are just off the cuff stories where like or like this woman

was talking about the Catholic association's marriage course basically there's like you have to do six weeks marriage counselling with a priest before you get married in a church in Ireland oh yeah yeah

of course you do because why wouldn't you ask a virgin who's sworn off women? No they won't yeah that you can still all right I'm not sure that you know okay listen

I'm not getting into the stanchic you're no longer pure off your first ejaculation but yeah it was just a it was just a fascinating thing to watch through her eyes and also to watch

us lose the rugby oh I'm sorry who are you playing against okay I don't know the all blacks New Zealand oh New Zealand

and the New Zealand's one I'm not sure that's how they call what they call themselves The New Zealand D's does All blacks The all blacks one They did yeah

Oh good for them Yeah congratulations Yay New Zealand Wow you're At least your accent They're all over the place everywhere At least it's not just

When you were telling that story, what I could think of, do you know that Tim Robbins sketch? It's so, it's like the Tim Robbins show, you know, I think you should leave. And there's a sketch. Which one, Helen? It's got, like, is that funeral.

And he's doing, like, an infomercial for his TV channel being like, Coffendrop. And it's called Coffin Drop. I have seen Coffin Drop. It's so good. Falling out of the bottom of coffin. It's good stuff. It's good stuff.

It's good stuff. They have that bit where it's just. naked ponies coming out and it's just on the floor and all the mourners are like oh no my husband how many coffees have you had this morning this is my second to bring a guest everybody it's the incredible sophie hagen hello hogs it's katherine bowhart from trusty hogs Helen laughs me when I say that I'm Catherine from trusty hogs when you're listening to trusty hogs and you know that it's not Helen but nonetheless there we are you still listening. Hey if you are please join my newsletters on my website because at the end of October I got some big news and I want to tell you first and I want you to be on shall we say a prior like a little private previous little prior list so that maybe you'll get preferential treatment in access to that news you will go on join up sign up please newsletter catherine beauhart.com

I'm still on tour. I'm coming to Cork, Dublin, York, Leeds, Nottingham. No, Leeds are sold out. Forget it. Lester, Bristol, which has got like five left. Redding, Berlin, Birmingham, Guildford, Aldershot, Norwich, Newcastle, Edinburgh, Glasgow. Fuck, there's so much travel. Cambridge, Manchester and Maidenhead. Oh man, that's going to be, please come. Please come because some of those are like when it's really cold and dark out and I'll be sad. Bring gifts. Thank you. Bye. Hey, hey, Helen, stop. I know there's something in there for me. I can feel it. Is it a gifty? Is it just for me or for Catherine? Well, now I feel bad. It's for both of you.

Oh, you feel bad because it's for both of us? Well, not because she was going to like. It's my birthday next. What's your birthday? March 25th. Well, November 10th. Okay. Are you November 10?

Where's my birthday? Oh, good point. Gifty. Oh, don't do that. Oh, she does that and it's awful. It's usually like a pencil she's chewed. I knew I guess it. Just found a pen in my bag. Or a tampon. It's always a tampon. I need a chewed pencil. Or hand sanitizer. Yeah. And murders. Nice, nice.

Oh. What's that? That is a, that's from the end of my tour show from Jamie D'Souza wrote on the back of it because he had to run and get his train. Do you want that? Why would Sophie want that? What does that mean? Because it's got a picture of me on it. He was staying in Fairham and we were in Winchester. Do you want that?

Sophie. I actually do. There we go. Happy birthday. I'm going to say if you become like massively famous. Then you'll have that. Oh, if what was that? Bless you, it's when.

Jamie. It's when, not if. Yeah. It's just a matter of time with me. Yeah, Jamie's a huge star in the making. I think that I need to explain to you what I'm giving you so I can put my bag down

and stuff looking insane so I thought because I've been listening to all of your episodes I also have questions for you stop it but nobody ever brings questions but a lot of them

and I thought oh me really cute if I gave you like a teeny tiny like little pig thing because you get a lot of pigs like this one like a teeny tiny pig we get a lot of pigs

so I went on Etsy and I was like oh I'm going to find a teeny tiny pig and then I'm going to see if I can find a teeny tiny pig like a micro pig micro pig I was like, oh no.

It's a daddy, it was so big. And then you canceled the last date, so it had to be in my kitchen. Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. It's so big. Oh, my God. Guys, if you're listening to this and not watching it, Sophie has just pulled the largest pig. Life-size pig.

I feel like you got con. Do you remember there was that con for a while where people would be sold a teakup pig? and then it would turn into an actual fully grown farm-sized pig. I'm taking a picture, I'll put it on the internet. A people who buy a rug and it's a mouse mad. Yeah, except the inverse. Oh my God, please hold it up beside your head, Helen.

I've even got a name for her. You can't name her alone already. She's Bacon Hagen. I like it. I do, to be fair, honestly. That's the first pun in my life I've ever enjoyed. Bacon Hagen? I love it.

Isn't that good? I'm a big fan. It's good stuff. I love you. You've shown up with a gift. You've shown up with a cake. You can come any time. Thank you.

That's good guesting. And question? I'm going to wait, but I have questions as well. And all just statements. Okay, fantastic. Catherine touched Bacon Hagen's butt. It's really hard not to. It's very juicy.

I want to give it a little pinch. I washed it because it had been standing right next to my stove, so it had a lot of food sprays on it. But I've washed it. Wow, thank you so much. I love that you greased up our pig. Bacon spray on it. I don't like bacon.

I know. As a Danish person and someone who's surname, rhymes with Hagen. It's real bad. I know. I put it in Bolognaise sometimes but I'm not really. Okay, I've never done that.

Is this going to be our first fight on the podcast? I can't have the two of you start off at the fight. No, no, I'm not having a fight. I'm not having a fight. Everyone's got soft hands in the air. That's warm. Bacon in Bolognaise. Yeah.

Like just like chopped up like little bit. Yeah. That's in genius. You start with that and then the onions and then the veggies and then meat. Yeah, that's very nice. Yeah, but it has to be the bacon that's most similar. Not the bacon you put on your, in your breakfast. Not pure bacon.

Oh, not like rashis. Not like, yeah, yeah. Not the, yeah, not the bigger. Oh, it's the same. It's the same. More like, not the meaty one, but like we want the, what they're called. The stripy. Panchetta.

No, that's a whole different thing, I think. No, isn't the same? It's just chopped up in it. No? What? Hello? No, because it's like panchetta's just bacon chopped up. Yeah, but there's like little thick things.

Lardons. Lardons. Yes, but no We need the long strips Yeah I think this is the Danish thing I think it might be No I know what you mean

But I don't eat meat So I've been a one Oh me neither Me neither Since when? I know I don't know Not today

I was like hey What? Sophie Agen Welcome to the podcast Thank you Thank you so much for being here Let's talk about it You've had

A haircut We gotta talk about it It's been waiting to happen It's very exciting Thank you. How long did you think about cutting your hair? How do you feel since you've done it? I thought about it for, I think, 13 hours.

Wait, what? But it's been a long time coming. Okay, yeah. I was like, I don't make decisions like in the future. I can't do anything like vacations, tattoos, haircuts. I don't. Like it has happened now. Otherwise I'm like, because I've made the decision.

So in my head I have short hair now. So why I have this weird long hair? Yeah. So, yeah. But when you said it was, it's been a long time. I'm coming. I would agree. Say more on that. I don't want to speak on your behalf. I would say, come on now.

Yeah, I think so. I think it's as well, I've always thought like, no, I don't know. What withholding you back? I, honestly, I think a fear of letting go of femininity. Yeah. Like, I wore dresses for like a decade before I was like, I think I hate wearing dresses. It feels really bad. Yeah. And then I switched like trousers, which felt like a big, well, no, I middled with jumpsuits. Oh, yes, the jumpsuit conversion track Yes, now I'm on trousers and jeans

It took a while after trousers as well So like it's a whole same So they're so warm as well aren't they That's just very nice There's also really hard finding They're so hard to find Any clothes to be when you're fat It's so hard

So yeah then we're in the jeans Then we're in the shirts Then we're in the area And then you were really in the area And the area arrived real fast the second I cut my hair. No, a girlfriend. A wife.

The second I cut my hair, I was like, I don't want to wear makeup and I don't want to wear jewelry. Great. It was so wild. That's so interesting. This was like three kind of big things. I always wore earrings, I always wore makeup. I had long hair.

And then suddenly overnight I was like, oh no, it feels wrong. It feels so weird. This is interesting. So do you think it's a case of like, like, oh, this matches the aesthetic I've created with my hair. Or do you think it's that the hair and the clothes have taken you closer to a sense of authenticity and then you're like, any performance feels bizarre now?

Yeah, it's sort of like, it's sort of like with the short hair I've gone from trying to look pretty to trying to look handsome. Yes. And that feels like a different thing. Handsome voice, yeah. Either way I'd say it's fuckable. A-bon-on.

Either fucking way. The umbrella is fuckable. and it's just about choosing which type. So I think it just came as like a... I could see you with a parrot now as well. I don't know why. Well actually the pig looks really good with this outfit. Do you keep trying to make them a pirate

instead of a handsome guy? No, no, no. Well, pirates number one are crazy handsome. Did you know, I just found this out that in Disney World, when like... Do you remember the height of Pirates of the Caribbean when it first came out? And they had Captain Jack walking around Disney World as like a character.

And then they had to take him off the road. roster because like adult women were losing their minds too much and getting inappropriate so they had to circle him out. That's why Sophie's not allowed to go to Disney as well. It's the same thing. Women keep up into gender benches. Listen, I didn't want to bring it up but yeah, I'm banned from Disney World. Yeah. I get it. Here's my son. He wants a picture. I'm me. And they were like we can't. It's just workplace. It just won't work. Couldn't they just find like an uglier Jack Sparrow? No.

No such a thing. You can't, every pirate is fair. Every pirate. But I see what you're saying. You have moved into a handsome bracket. Do you know the musical Pirate Queen? No. Why don't we all know that, Andrew?

It is one of the biggest flops in musical history. No way. And I love it. So it's like been removed from the internet. So I have to file, I'll find them to you. Which is about a female Irish pirate based on a real life Irish pirate. Yes, it is. Grace O'Malley or Gloria in a male.

Yes, that one, I think. Yeah. And it's the only one. And she's like in love with this, I think he's a pirate. I think they're all pirates, right? And then she's in love with this other pirate and he's like a bit of a simp,

but like so hot, played by Hadley Fraser. They're all sims for her. He's so good. And she's Stephanie J. Block. She's so good. She's so good. Yeah, Andrew's nodding. Oh, she's fantastic.

She's incredible. She was in the Broadway falsetto's, which was really, really good. She's so, and her and Haddy Fraser was the best male. I'm no longer part of the conversation. Anyways, shut up. She's a very hot pirate.

Yeah, you should love this. I should be happy. Did you see the news? Like, it literally came out last week. They're doing 13 going on 30, the musical. Don't stop it, don't be a dick, don't be a dick. I can't, I can't. I'm not in the Evan Hanson, like, Heather.

Like, I'm not in that category of musicals. It needs to be big and shouty and, like, wild and, like, big voices. And what part of 30 going on 30 do you think won't be part of that world? You know, it might be theatrical. They've only not four nights and they've all sold out anyway, so it doesn't even matter. Oh, no. What a shame. What's the best difference.

you won't be able to go. But just... I was just going to say, Stephanie J. Block is doing a concert in London next Sunday, and tickets are only 15 pounds. Just to flag it. But I've done this before, because I went to see Michael Bubele. Bolton?

Bolton? No. Alfie Bow. All right. Yeah, you're right. You mixed up with Michael Ball. A couple of weeks ago, Alfie Bow. No, it was years and years and years ago. And because I thought he was going to do all his musical stuff,

but then you only did like, like Pups song. There were only old people in the audience. And I was just like, oh dear. And they were all like standing up like, sweet. And I was just like, oh no, I've made a mistake. I made a mistake. And at the end, I just went with it.

It was just me and all the old ladies were like, yay. That's amazing. It's like, have you got to see Jersey boys in the West End. I have not, no. It is just divorce parties. Just, oh, it's like, I need some man. It's a narrow power like, oh, what a night. Play it's such a house.

lied to me you basically have to just throw yourself into it with like it's just so brilliant and they're like we're not too good for that we're not too good for that

no that sounds amazing that sounds amazing okay so you've got your hair you're into suave handsome category you've got a dog to go with the vibe I'd be honest I got the dog first let me just yeah it makes it wasn't an accessory

no sure well it was but it came before it's Hank he's doing well he's so cute he's so cute he's so cute I personally think your Instagram could have more dog content I agree but do you know about people on the internet have you heard of them yeah they have opinions and stuff they really do oh about every

people people when you have a dog people are so invested and there are like threats on like Reddit where people are like you can tell that she's mistreating him oh she never posts about feeding him so I bet she doesn't feed him it's like what insane like oh she never posts about taking him on walks I was like yeah I don't want you to know where I live you asshole like it is so I because I

filmed the whole like what the whole journey to getting him yeah I put that on Instagram and we were all part of it everyone was a part of it it was very fun and then people's opinion started and I was like oh this was a mistake like delete that don't talk about so I'm trying to be like less I'll post like cute photos of him but I'm like, oh. And when I do any, like, fit check, when I'm, like, pose, like, outfits, he'll come and jump up on me.

Yeah, it's very cute. That's cute. That's cute. That's so ridiculous. People have so many opinions. I can't imagine if it was a child, like, people being like, like, like,

taking off of a dog. Yeah, but you can only do it wrong according to the internet. It's mad. I, okay, maybe this is too heavy a chap, but I feel like the, um, there's a real balance to be struck. Like, every time I put something on the internet,

I am thrilled when people are like, enjoy what I'm doing and want to come to shows and feel like they're getting to know me but the more exposed you are the more feedback there is and the feedback is a real like obviously anytime I put a clip on

the internet it is a wash with homophobia and a lot of like sexism but mainly homophobia it's generally like what you need as a dick that's the general just okay and we are sorry about that I know you are but it doesn't make it okay you guys could you not just tell me a person it's the traction my mom really

It's for traction. Any engagement is going to engagement. Any engagement, it's good engagement. But it's also like just sort of relentless feedback to the point that like I act a little bit irrationally I find to like reasonable

feedback because I'm like, I can't take any more feedback. Oh my God. Does anybody else get that? Oh, shame. There's no such thing as reasonable feedback. A feeling of shame. Someone messaged me. I was posting about doing like a work in progress

and someone messes me and was like oh it must be really good to be able to like just go somewhere and like just try out like stuff you haven't even rehearsed yet and I was like you and I was like you know I'm replying I was like you asshole like fuck you yeah it's good but I've worked hard to get to a place where I can like do a work in progress and then everyone does work and I like blocked and I was like fuck you and then I was like oh what it could have said was oh it must be so nice to have a place where you can go and do a working progress like yeah and if we read that in a different tone yeah I read that in such a whole

and I was like reading again and they were like well I live in I want to do comedy and I live in an area where you can and I was like oh I'd miss that and I read like the attack which was not an attack it was a very lovely statement but it felt like an attack

but it's like tipping points everything's so I feel really like I have to have a breath and maybe even a couple of days before I reply to messages because I am just like fuck it! Where is they're like oh I've just taken some time out of my day

to say a thing where is it's like um It's just so relentless. Because they don't understand that you get 500 messages all saying like, I hate the color of your bathroom. It's just like, I tried to renovate my bathroom via Instagram,

which is really fun. Yeah, but people are awful. It was so wild. I'll be like, oh, I need like some storage in this like teeny, tiny little corner and people would send me like a bookcase and I'd be like, where would it go? And they'd be like, you're being rude to people who I was like,

I can't, I can't. Wait, they'd send you a bookcase in the post. No, that'd be awesome. It's like a link to be like, you can use this bookcase. I'm like, it's like five centimeters in a corner of a... But what we forget is how thick people are. Oh, my God.

Because we're bright. Okay, we're all bright people. Speaking of the general public. I identify as thick, actually. I identify as thick rather than... There is a threat somewhere on the internet. Where they hate me. And one of their things was she keeps saying that she lives in a teeny tiny flat,

but she has like five bathrooms. I was like, what? It's because every time I'm like in a hotel, I'll take like a picture in the mirror. So they think that it's like all of my bathrooms. Conspiracy. Sophie Hagan is actually a millionaire. One kitchen, one bedroom, five bathrooms.

That's so, I get it. As a layout, I like it. I love them. That's an extent of you're like. I'm not the brightest, but there's some levels of thick where you're like, oh dear. Like, I should look away, but I can't.

Like, have you ever seen someone push a pool door and then give up? I love it so much. I feel so honored that they're doing it. Like, it's like when other people are, I'm just so happy, it's not me. I'm like, oh, mate, I know how that feels. And I'm so happy, you are feeling it.

What I will say, because I'll be nice about it. What I will say is I feel like there's a point at which, like, you get to also where there's slight, I used to have to answer every, like, for the love of God. Whereas now, because of the podcast and where I say, the sort of wonderfully protective lesbians that are built around us, now occasionally before I even have to reply,

Usually if anyone writes something to the tune of, I thought she was dating that other comedian. There are like eight lesbians being like, well, you should maybe think about that in private. Maybe you should think that on your own. Maybe you should check these things. And it's like, ah, that's nice. That's nice.

That's nice. Would you say the lesbian go-to emotion is angry? Would you say that question's homophobic? No, it's not curiosity. Because that was a good impression, but I totally know what you mean. because I get them going for, like, people who are like, I mean, granted, I do set myself up for the fat stuff sometimes,

like, don't release a special with a company called 800-pound gorilla. Oh, fuck me. Oh, Sophie. Do you ever just, like, walk into it and go, that's on me, actually. That's a hundred. Oh, I'm going to own that one. No, they fucking didn't. No, they did.

I hate people. Talk about 800-pound gorillas, and it's like, no, I earned that one. Like, that one was on me. No, fuck, though. It's a logo on every single day. and they're like don't be so hard on yourself oh you're beautiful

it's just max 400 pound like it's not like a little chimpanzee he's so mean to yourself 400 pound chimpanzee of anything babe get a girl boss

sometimes it's like you know when my Apollo when I have the camel toe and I have to the whole way through it but then a guy was like trolling all the trolls being like, you should have a camel to, a camel to

and the size of that, that's a moose knuckle. And you know when you're like, a what? A moose knuckle, which is so funny. It's fucked, but it's so funny. Oh, don't you wish you could have done that? Are you kidding? I liked it from my personal profile. I thought it was so great, which then invited all of them in to find me there.

Don't you want to do it again and then use the joke? Yeah, you want to, yeah. Obviously, moose knuckle. Yeah. It's worth it. It's worth it. It's worth the word of it. That's so funny.

Damn, mine is, my Apollo clip is like the lesbian signing who gets the dildo bit and it's just man after man after man underneath being like, if you use a dildo, then what you really want is a dick! It's just like, whoa, God. Like, is there a more capital letter than capital letter? Like, they're just like, it's a lot. Well, they're so angry. They're magic sticks.

My apollo clip, oh no, wait. Oh, I'm sorry. We're the actual worst. We are the literal worst. The thing about my apollo because that gets me down is, sorry. I live at the Comedy Central Comedy Store ship was, they should... I auditioned for that back when. Oh, yeah.

That was my first ever TV audition. It was like a run-through night at headliners for the... Was it live at the Comedy Store? That's what I called me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I did not do well. Hating men.

Oh, they love that. Oh, I'm sure they did. I'm sure they did. If men said this about women, then what? Tell me what happens then what? I want to see. They go on the Apollo? Okay, cool.

Yeah, you're so right. Then wash. I have to tell you a version of what just happened to my sister. I need to tell you. You're going to love this. Go on. So if anyone doesn't know,

I've got a little sister, two years younger than me. Yes. Wait, do you hear about it? Her whole family's Apollo glint. It's crazy. I'm a Nepo baby. Do you not here?

I'm Nepo, like, fully. Fully. So my sister, she's autistic. She's two years younger than me, but she just started a new job in Cornwall. Okay, so first day,

like, and the whole family's involved in her, like, moving down to Cornwall, making sure she's all settled with her dad takes days of work. Long debate about whether or not they should dig up pancake. Oh, her dead hamster. Should we leave it?

Should we not? When did it die? Up January. Oh, it's like, isn't that gone gone? Yeah, yeah. Yes, oh, he's off, he's gone. Gone. You didn't want to leave them behind so.

What does just stick the room? So, um, we're talking about, like, reacting to people as all, like, taking a beat. she cannot do that. So, oh God, it's so funny. First day at her new job. She's working in the kitchen, back of house,

not seeing anyone, which is good. She's a pastry chef. She gets people. People are the worst. And, um, the shit. And, oh, Helen, making the chocolates just like I've been told to and doing very good.

And this, this old English, white male chef comes over and said, smile. Oh, I told him he could go fuck himself. Good luck getting him. Michelin Star without me, a piece of shit. She walks out. Good luck getting her Michelin style.

She's never GCSE. And she walks out and then she brings me and I'm filming. I can't deal with this right now. So I've got my friend Gwyneth in the phone and I was like, can you just talk to her about like the rule of three? Like giving people three chances. She's like, so what am I going to do is wait for him to fuck up two more times? No, I don't think so.

Hang on. I'm fully on her side. Me too. Everyone's on her side. But you've got to understand this was like months on the planning. for literally two hours to be like, good luck going to Michelin's girl without me, you piece of shit.

Yeah, another job. What's on is that a friend? You can suck it. You suck it. But then where's his rule of three? Why can he give her two more chances? Oh, he did. They were like, oh my God, we're so sorry, we're so sorry.

And she was like, I don't trust you. It's over. Yeah, good. It's over. I'll never trust another man again. You could. Good. She got another job in Cornwall with a higher wage.

See. She crushed it. Not trusting men. place off. I want to be your little sister when I grow up. Imagine being like, what the fuck she's

to say to me? I love that. Good luck heading a Michelin star without me. Good luck. I'm going to hit my BAFTA off well. There's very pretty woman going shopping,

isn't it? Do you work on commission? Yeah, I love it. I know. I love it down hotel in Cornwall. Good luck going to Michelin Star without me. Listen, all we have

is like our integrity and our pride and we need to protect that. It's more important than anything else. I think it's phenomenal what she did. I wish I had that level of backbone. Integrity and pride are the most important thing.

It is. If you don't have integrity, what's the point? What's the point? I think it's so awesome what she did. Yeah. I think it's so fucking cool. I wish I had that confidence ever in my life. Oh, it might be a bit late.

We've made so many episodes of the podcast now. Speaking of, you brought some questions. I have questions. Okay, let me just find my notes. Wait, Sophie, you wrote them down. I love you. I've taken notes when I've been listening to the podcast. Is it about...

Oh my God, I love you so much for taking notes. Some of it is just, like, thoughts and notes. They're so helpful, by the way. 32, 34. Five. 35, as you fucking know. First of all, this is a piece of advice. So I thought it was thrusty hawks.

It should be. And I would be like, oh, I'm dumb. But what I will say is, I've been saying that since it started, no one's ever corrected me, so I might not be the only one. so I've mentioned it to a lot and people are like yeah thrusty hog like I think it's not just me

also maybe it should be thrusty hogs that made more sense to me than trusty it makes more sense to me too thrushy hogs I could say and people are allowed to I think that too

I think thrushy hog makes that's so funny thrusty or thrushy actually makes more sense than trusty we're pretty flaky and then I have some of these suggestions and no no no

then I have a mini list of things I didn't know we had in common me and Helen we were both very sick in Norway I had a kick in Norway that would pay like 1,500 pounds and I was like holy shit wow and then I got Nandoz at the airport

classic nice arrived in Norway so sick like I don't remember calling my agent but he told me that apparently I called him like crying like I can't do the gig like so sick ruined a hotel room wasn't happy about it front or back both oh both

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So head in the sick, bum on the toilet. When I could get there, yes, otherwise it was, it was horrific. And then I couldn't do the gig. And then the next morning, I felt fine. And then apparently, I was like, where did the sandwich paper come from? Like, someone from the festival or whatever it was, had, like, brought me food. And I don't know if I was like, I don't remember it because I was so sick.

I don't know how I was, like, it looked when I opened it. Horrible. But you didn't go to the gastro ward in the hospital? I didn't. They're so nice. Next time go. Wait, so then you just flew home again? Then I just flew home.

I flew to Norway to be sick and then go home again. To not make any money. Horrific. Can I ask you question? Do you find the shit quite cleansing? Like at the end of it? I don't remember that feeling. Yeah, okay, never mind.

I think I just felt like being dead. Our dad's both work in Suez. Stop. Yeah, my dad was a, I don't know what the right word is. Oh, Exterminator, I think. I just called like a rat, rat killer. A pets control guy? I think so.

Or just purely for poo rats No, it's mostly about rats But he was mainly in the sewers Yeah Yeah What an origin story We also haven't gone to uni Which I feel like everyone has

I know everyone's like Oh you know at uni And you know that because they go What uni did you go to Instead of did you go to uni Yeah At least they ask you that With me they're like

Oh That's so interesting I find it much more surprising That you didn't go Go on Thank you I mean I technically I technically signed up

For uni a bunch of times but I just never showed up. It's hard if your dad's work and poo to then make that transition. I get it. Like it's a jump. Yeah, there's no support from home, right? There's different expectations.

Oh, I had a horrible spider story I wanted to tell you because she was... No, absolutely no, please no. I actually... I just really want to. I know, but I have it too, and I feel like it's really unfair that I have to sit alone with what happened to me.

I don't, I don't... It's going to keep me up at night. Do you understand? I know, but it kept me up at night. I think it's only fair. Oh, my back hurts immediately. Okay, I won't tell you. Oh, if I do, I'll do it like, as a surprise.

You'll tell Helen. You'll tell Helen. It makes my jaw weird. No, just do the humming thing. And I was, I'm really scared. Like, I'm really scared of that. It was so big. It was on the door.

No. And then it took, like, I had like a piece of wood. And I, like, was going to kill it. And it exploded all over my face. It was so big. I could hear it. And it was, I had all my glasses. And they were like, there was like,

spider intestines on my glasses. it was so you're so lucky you're so lucky you didn't have a bunch I was traumatized fucking spider babies in there it was

the worst thing has ever happened to me in my life that is hell I have to share with everyone because it was the worst I could hear it

oh my back hurts I know I hate them I need to share that with you no stop it please don't say it oh and then I have a question oh I think I'm getting more scared of it

a child I was really into Titanic and your mom was all the Titanic I was also really into Titanic before the film right before the film right yeah yeah see that's a special insane love history about like war do you listen to real dictators

because of you I now do you're welcome yeah I know yeah and then we need to talk about Eagles and ask because I really want to go there in Burtesgarten yes yeah yeah why not yeah I love Deutsch but I can't not that's a good but that's cool it's fun how all your notes are leaving me out

I like these guys go and you didn't like it It was fucking. Yeah. Oh, yeah, sorry. And how did you feel about the Spiders stuff? That's so grim. That's like, we have so much in common.

Also, would you like to feel uncomfortable? We have so much in common. What the hell, Sophie Agen. I have OCD, so we have that in common. Yay, that's fun and life. And I like, I like, like, quiet and stuff. I don't think we have that in common. So, like, we don't think we have a lot of friends.

You guys have loads of joyful things in common, and we have a phobia, a mental illness, and we like to be alone. But we find that fun. We do, to be there. the last question I have is you talked about a theory where you divided comedians into like I think war boys chaos sluts right yeah what am I I already know yeah if it's war boys chaos less than the third category is pencil case isn't it what I think it was like pencil case no you got head girl head boy thick oh edge lord happiness whole little prints they're the ones I wrote

down say them what were they again edge lords thickhows little prince Headiness sluts. Okay, but, okay, Little Prince vibes, 100%. Yeah, I would have said, though. Because you do say some stuff on a stage where, like,

it's like, oh my, what the fuck? Is that a Little Prince? Aw. Wasn't Stuart Goldsmith, the Little Prince? I don't feel like I'm in the same campus. Stubert was a head boy. Oh, okay, yeah, he is. Okay, I'm fine not being that.

So Little Prince is like, Sunil Patel, Ed Knight, like these sort of like, oh, you can be a bit cheeky and then we just go, oh. Yeah, you do cheeky a lot. But you also have massive head girl energy.

Yeah. You do. You do. Like you could lead a gathering. Yeah. Like there's cult leadership abilities there. Yes. You're not big thick-o because you wouldn't wing it.

Yeah. You wouldn't go out and go like, ooh. Yeah. Yeah, thank you. What's head girl and little prince? Head prince. I'm going to say head-prens. Oh, it depends on how much into war you get.

And then you might end up being a bit war-boyish. That's another thing we have because I saw. saw your show and you talked about dictators and I have a whole bit about dictators in my show. Stop that. Mad thing to high five about it. Mad. What's your bit about dictators?

That I think we should have a dictatorship. But I make a really good point of it so people agree with me, I hope. It's excellent. It's a really good show. Mine is just about how much I like the podcast. I think that's the difference between the Thicko and the head girl.

One's like, isn't it amazing that these exist? And the other one's like, I will be your leader. And that is the distinction. I really think I can do it. like Paul McGahn. I just really think I could do it and I think I could do a good job of it. Who's your favorite dictator

on the Real Dictators podcast? Oh, I haven't, I haven't, it's currently cute because I wanted to listen to episodes of your podcast first because I was doing it. So now I've done it. Also, it's a much question

to be like, who's your favorite? Hitler's finished. Very good, very good. I went to the Hitler's childhood museum in Berlin. Was not surprised that he had a very bad childhood. I know, they all had

terrible times of it. No one talks about it with him. And I get it because bad, bad, like, yeah, but he's also, like, bad, bad, like, so yeah, so Hitler did, they all had bad childhoods, but what pisses me off about Hitler? He also had PTSD from the war. Yeah, but he wasn't a very good soldier in my war, that would give you PTSD, wouldn't it?

He was terrible. He felt very unsafe. No one liked him, was very popular. What pissed me off about Hitler, apart from the genocide? Yeah, which is like one of the main things. He was awful. Yeah. Another thing we completely agree.

You know people who, poverty porn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're like, oh, I'm from a working class background. They don't, you know, don't do that. You don't know. You're not like us. Hitler, I think, invented poverty porn age. Because, like, I mean, obviously he wrote a book called My Struggle.

So it's like, shut up. University should be free. And I'm going to tell you why. These are conversations people should have in classrooms privately. We're still talking. So that they're not on podcasts publicly. Hitler has a struggle. So I actually think that universities shouldn't be free.

you should also get paid to go, so you only asked you do in Denmark. And it's also... You would have got paid and you didn't go? That's the... No, well, that... Well, I signed up. I actually know this. He went a couple of times and then dropped down. Yeah.

Yeah. No more. After six months. Can I please make my point, though? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wish you wouldn't. Oh my God, I've got no money. Oh my God, my life was so tough.

I wrote this book in jail. It's like, yeah, you're in jail. That sucks. Are you going to tell me Hitler was a Napa baby now? So close. He's like, oh my God, I had no money. I was living in Vienna. there is proof that his mum sent him

as rent each month and also paid for him to go to the opera once a month she was sending him less and less than less makes you think it makes you think you know what when you didn't think just when you thought he couldn't get worse

right that's exactly what his mom's spoiled bread yeah just say it don't want a book called my struggle about how you couldn't afford to live in Vienna if your mom's paying your fucking rent you piece of dins you know what I'm a whole new

way of looking at him Hold on a new state for Hitler. At Arizona State University, we're bringing world-class education from our globally acclaimed faculty to you. Earn your degree from the nation's most innovative university, online. That's a degree better.

Learn more at asuonline.asu.org. edu joanna do you got a problem from a listener indeed we do we have a problem from s hi s my therapist your therapist yes yeah hi there a long time listener first time problem emailer

welcome I've been with my girlfriend for four years and she is incredibly important to me I've always found it hard to be around people but with her it's easy and we understand each other even we don't talk. Aw. However, there is one part of the relationship

where we are not really compatible and I would like some advice about how to talk about it. Bedroom. Yes, correct. Physical intimacy is not her thing and while that was fine for a while... Do we know the gender of us? Also female, yeah.

Okay. I could have told you that. Lesbian bed death is a myth that just happens to always be true. No, it was very well articulated. The giveaway. I do like sex, however, despite physical intimacy not being her thing.

obviously I can take it myself but I would like to spend the rest of my life with my girlfriend and I would in fact perhaps require physical legitimacy I used to be categorically against open or poly relationships for myself but have since come around to the idea

brackets in part thanks to this podcast nice nice on you I want to bring it up but I'm currently supporting her financially while she finishes her uni work and I'm worried she'll feel pressured to agree to something she will later regret since she is a people-pleaser. Oh, that's so mindful.

Good job. I'm also the first person she had sex with and the first relationship for her, so I do feel an extra responsibility to make sure she's okay with everything. Please help. I don't want to lose her or make her feel like she's not enough, but I also really want to eat some box. Wait, what's box? Does that come?

That's it? Oh, you girls have a word for everything. I've already had a talk. my therapist and she said I deserve to have someone who wants me sexually which is nice but makes me a bit uncomfortable I feel it makes me sound a bit like an in-sail anyway I've been listening since the very first gigglers I'd like to say how proud of you all I am of how far you've come you make my life so much funnier and more interesting and I'm taking better care of myself as a result of your willingness to talk about

problems head-on thank you whoa that's very sweet that's so nice well written message That's so nice. Let's talk about the first problem, which is the phraseology of eat some box. Because if we can teach... I like it. It's a box. It's eat a box.

Yeah. Eat some box. Oh my God. What a phrase. I love that. That was so mindful, so thoughtful, so progressive, and eat some box. Wow. I love it.

And where did the box word come from? What's the like... The shape. Yeah, the shape. Why do they say shape? The shape. You can put your hand in, little treats. Search around.

It's a box. I like that. It's a cave. well what is a cave what's wrong with me what's wrong all right okay oh very good

what is a cave but nature's box brilliant that's brilliant I'll put that on a black I'd write that one down on Maggie that feels like Matt

that's fucking Plato's cave's all different now so problem one is partner doesn't enjoy intimacy in the way that you do

yeah problem two you don't want them to feel coerced into making a decision that you want to make because of the situation you're in right now with that support financially and their stress about union stuff.

Very mindful and good and important. And the last one is, what is it, that you need someone who wants you physically. Well, the third one is that that doesn't feel like a simple enough description and this person doesn't want to lose. How about just covering yourself

with their favourite snacks? They sort of lick it off you. I think, well, okay. So it's not physical intimacy. Maybe they're just hungry. So they won't know you're naked until they get to that person. Yeah.

Like the past one with her. Like if I came over yours and I was covered. in the teller. I'd call the police very quickly. Oh no, no, I'm a little hell and I can't run. Please. I'd look at the ring doorbell, I'd be like, I don't think I'm opening this time.

That's so funny. I would be like, well, I knew this day would come. Yeah, here I am. Here she is to woo me. What would you do? Dump the partner and start fresh? No, so I think what's really clear is... Well, we should go to Sophie first, but I think what is very clear is that this person has gone and gotten the true is the sort of like, the sort of like,

cliched one-on-one of like, well, you deserve someone who wants you. And like, that doesn't feel like this person is trying, wants to stay with their partner and loves her. So that's like, they don't prioritize sex over necessarily exclusively over keeping this person. So let's keep that in mind when we, do you have any thoughts? A million. I think, I think, so I'm currently working on a book about sex and not having sex. So I've, I'm reading through eighth, 100 people's submissions of like their sex issues.

Whoa. And reading a bunch of books about it. So my head is like full of a million thoughts because I've read so many issues that people have around this. So it's like my head is exploding a little bit. This doesn't mean I necessarily have an answer. But I will say, I think there's a difference between if your partner, is your partner just like, I'm asexual or like just not into sex and that is who I am and that is final

and that is just like, I'm okay with that, period? Or is your partner having issues with it? Is it like something is blocking me from having sex? I don't feel confident. Like, I want to work on this. I am working on this. I feel like there's a big difference in how you approach it. Because if it's like, this is my personality, and that is who I am, and that's br-then,

then you can deal with that. But if it's like a work in progress, I think that's where you go, okay, well, then, like, you're working on you, I'll support you what you need. Third category I posit is that the, that the, couple is having difficulty Did you just say I posit? I'd posit

I'd posit a third Categories of there I would posit As in deposit No I'm positing an idea P-O-S-I-T Yeah What's that

It's like to put forward an idea Is that a fancy lawyer word Yes in my I'm a knight I'm a lawyer No No I just like I'd suggest I pass a piece in a

Yeah it's sort of like A gentle suggestion It's like I'd put forward but I'm not like, you know, like I'd posit that maybe this happens or like, I posit that we know you went to uni. It's just like, oh look at me, I went to uni, I posted I went to uni.

Can I have one of these treats that Sophie brought and I got hungry all of a sudden? If it means that you'll stop slagging me off, then yeah. I can tell you're hungry, you're being mean. What about, but yeah, just that it might be a, Helen, let's not forget that we're dealing with S's problem. Sorry, yes. And you are now ultimately eating from a box,

which feels really insensitive. Living your dream, S. Living your dream. It's so good. It's amazing. Can I have some, please? No, you're solving a problem. No, I can have a little bit. Thank you so much. Can you describe to us what this is, Sophie?

And then S, we will solve your problem. It's so huge. It's so huge. It's a Danish, I think in English you would call it a cinnamon social from Oule and Steen, which is a Danish bakery. How do you say it? Ola and Steen. Oh, so cool when you say it.

Ola Steen. Which is a Danish bakery. Fuck, that is so good. Where I go whenever I'm in Central London to buy right bread. And then I got you that. Which is like, it's like a, what do you call? I guess you call it a Danish, which is weird. Because in Danish we call it Vienna bread, which means Vienna bread.

So weird. But it's like a thing you bring to old people when you visit them in Denmark. Thank you. We're old. For the afternoon coffee. It's sweet red covered in cinnamon. It's sugary. It's like a custody thing.

There's some icing. It's. Fuck. Do you want some? No, I'm good. I'm recording a podcast currently. Oh, yeah. I don't know.

Maybe I have. after I'm done. I think what's happened here is this problem has stumped so many of us that we're just trying to pass the buck onto each other. No, I... Sorry, that's so funny.

So we just that I'm recording a podcast currently. I'd expect nothing. Let's take a break. Let's finish our work. Let's finish recording this podcast we invited Sophie too. That's so Moorish, so. It's so good, isn't it?

So good. Everything from there is so good. I feel like, you know, when you go down on a roller coaster and your womb goes like... Again, really insensitive to S. Stop talking about going down on boxers. Let's go.

You're right. What was the problem? You posited a third thing, which is that they have a thing within their relationship. So it's not necessarily that their partner doesn't want or doesn't like sex, but it's within this relationship. Also a good point.

So I think there's a difference. It's like, I always think when there's issue in relationships, it's always like, well, is there an end to this? So it's like, my partner is depressed. Like, that in itself, isn't... The problem is my partner is depressed and will not work on it, or my partner is oppressed, and they're actively seeking help. Like, there's such a difference in any kind of issue of like,

is something happening? Is there an end in sight? Or do you have to deal with the fact that this is like now your life forever? Yes. Okay, this is actually really good. Yes, I think... Yes, listen to this now. I think it's fair, and I think it's an unpopular opinion a bit.

And I think that is mostly... I think men are always told, like, you deserve sex. And I think that's why when someone says it to us, we're a bit like, no, I don't want to be that. Like, as said, I don't want to be an in-cell. Yeah. But physical touch and intimacy and sex is really important to some people, not to everyone. But if it is, it's just as much of a need as feeling safe in a relationship or feeling loved or we can all have these, like, things we need in a relationship, and that's fair.

Like, there's no moral judgment. It's a love language, yeah. It's a love language. It's like, so if that is something you need and you're not getting it, like, it's fine to be like, that's my need. It's not your partner's fault and you shouldn't be like well do you

do you want me to pay your rent or not like it's that scary but I don't think I think it's fair to be like is this forever or is it not? I think that's a really good question and a really good starting point for the conversation.

I also would say that it sounds to me as like you have not exhausted every option which is really nice a really positive place to be because if you've talked about it at length you've done therapy you've done a couple's therapy she's done therapy

you guys have made a plan, enacted it and it all hasn't worked and that's like sort of dire straits if you've not done the things and what you're finding difficult is even approaching the conversation then you're at the very start there are so many options available

for you to try which is exciting watch the film Hope Springs is that with Steve Correll and Tommy Lee Jones and Meryl Streep and Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones that's not fucking anymore they're sleeping in separate rooms and they go to Steve Corell

who's a therapist in Maine and he teaches them how to like be intimate together again and they spend a night at a hotel and laughter ensues is so silly and then they go back the next night of the Steve Carell films you could have recommended for the problem

Merrill Street films you could have recommended what Sophie's choice or 40 year old virgin for Steve Correll huh it's very good Is it called Hope Springs? Yeah. Yeah, I think S also,

so I think S mentioned polyamory as well. And I think, again, that very much. Because that's another thing if your partner is like, oh, yeah, I just don't, I'm just not into this. Like, this is just not a thing for me. And I feel like it's so, I feel like polyamory is like you really need to learn what you're doing before you do it.

I think a lot of people do it as like a solution to a problem. I was just about to say, I think the worst way you can go into polyamory as a solution to a problem in your own. relationship it has to be an additional good to your relationship yeah so whether it's like solving like time constraints or it's solving sex sexual issues or it solving like cheating i just think those are bad reasons to do it and it should be like also if it's inequitable that's also difficult if it's like you're going to get sex and she's not getting equitable as in if you're

doing it for one person but not for the other oh okay equality yeah that was not equal i was an equal then. Isn't equine something with horses? Yes. Oh, yes. Oh, don't have a be about. Your polyamory should have nothing to do with horses, may I say? It's like a horse. Non-equine. And also if it's inequitable, then I think that's tricky. Fucking a horse is a good point.

Well, I also think if you have, if you're in polyamory just to get laid, then it's the sex thing, right? But what you want, it sounds like is intimacy in your relationship. Yeah. And like you will still not have that even if you go out and you fuck someone else yeah it's like can you is it that like do you want sex or do you want sex with your partner that's a very different thing and also this feel free to like ask like is it like because sometimes you can like I've been in relationships where I've not wanted to have sex with the other person because I didn't really like them or because they weren't trying to like make me want it

like they were just like you know we're still a man and I if they had been like it's anything I can do when do you find me attractive when do you want you want sex I could have been like oh here's a list of things I like I think sometimes you need to talk about that as well and also I really think there are roles you can fall into that make sex really difficult and those roles can come from a deep place of love so I've been in relationships where the sex is broken down but the love was really strong and the relationship was hyper functional but the problem is I prior to this relationship like really wasn't analyzing

what I was doing and why I was doing it and like the reality is I love to caretake but I also love to mother and that can be like smothering and it's deeply unsexy and you can't mother and fuck obviously and like you can but bloody hell what I mean to say is that like

I think how we framed the problem in that situation was that like the partner didn't want sex and that was an issue they needed to look at when actually I wish that I would have realized what I was doing to contribute to that and if you are caretaking or even just like

financially supporting you might have fallen into behaviours or like a relational dynamic that makes sex difficult so just to be aware going into the conversation that you might have responsibility and like have to change things which are difficult

and that it's not just like you like putting on like you know showering and asking when you've washed or asking like there's stuff that like just is sexy right like like asking someone when they're washed as in like

when have you washed no what I mean is like I love I'm way more likely to have sex with you if I've just showered because I love feeling clean and I feel like I and I'm much wanting to have sex with you if I like

But don't you just need to do it again then sure but I won't give a shit if I've you know like that's fine Catherine love to clean oh you're like now I can get to shower Yeah, yeah, I just mean like, whatever they think is, but I mean, like, there's also a case of like, if you are doing a lot of caretaking,

it's hard to then be seen as sexy or to even see yourself as sexy. And I don't know, I just think there's, my point is, like, go in, open to the fact that you might have to change things too and that they're, like, honest and difficult conversations to help. And also, do we have ages, age of, do you know, any of those? Oh, first relationship uni, can we assume 20s?

Did they say uni? They don't have the context in the email. There's also a thing that's their partner's first relationship first time. And I don't know about you, but I know when I lost my opportunity, I was like, got to go explore, got to go try all the things because this is exciting. So there might also be an element of like, hey, you've just tried this thing. What do you want to do? Do you want to like, because like, there's a bunch of things you can do.

Whereas I was like fixated by that person. I was much more like. When you lost your turn to do. Yeah. Oh. Mine was like a handshake deal. One of 16. That's what can do it.

There we go. Your first time, my first time. We've learned something. Move on. No, we did that too. Nice. I have a friend that was like Yeah, it was a guy that I made you know

Do I try to do this? And he was like, okay And I was like, I think friends can have sex He was like, okay Because of the power of taking control Yeah Just like our favorite dictators We have so much in common

We have so much in common So much in common I was 16 too I think let's just We're giving you a lot of good advice there S, I'd say that I gave the best I think it would be useful What was your advice?

I really want to see that film though I'm just whatever Catherine and Sophie said Um No, you say pop strings But I think Meryl Streep and Steve Carell It's a good time Let's just end this by all saying

our favourite boxes to Nibbleon. Catherine? Ooh, I like a box of butler's chocolate. A box of butler's chocolates. Thank you, Catherine. Favorite box to Nibbleon? Pandora's.

Who is she? Who is she? What a Scorpio reply? Pandoras. I'm quadruple Scorpio, that's mine. Nice. My favorite box to Nibble. on would have to be

I will go for in Disney World there's a car that sells cheeseburger spring rolls and it comes in a little box Cheeseburger Spring Rolls Yeah deep fried cheeseburger stuff It tastes like a double I can't imagine that

It's life changing So in the spring roll paper they've put burger and cheese Yeah And burger sauce It's like bread No you can dip it in burger sauce Is there lettuce in there?

It's a flavour as cheeseburger But there's meat and bun. How have we got so many questions about this? We don't even know what's inside Pandora's box. Well, that's the tree. And you're bloody welcome for a real good time. Pop some bacon in it, let's go, man. Asian American fusion food.

Is there bacon in the spring roll? Is there lettuce? I think they're selling them at M&S now. No, they're not behavior. I think they are. I think they're doing like an appetizer, which is cheeseburger sprint rolls. It is, yeah.

Yeah. It is. But it's very good. Let me, I want to munch on the box I want to munch on. No, we're not judging that. We're judging whoever made it. We've ever created it. Mickey Mouse, idiot.

Oh, sorry, head chef, Mickey Mouse. Fair enough, fair enough. Head chef. So I'm talking about thick people earlier. Look at a state of that. You're fucking taken. Stay a little in a Michelin style without me. Good luck to get a Michelin Star without me.

Go on, Andrew. I was going to say, I found them with Eminette's 10 crispy beef burger spring rolls for 5 pound 50. What's in them? How do they look? Beef butter. Krispy spring rolls filled with British beef

gherkins, caramelized onions with burger sauce for dunking. Okay. Barf. Okay. They look like

very over stuff. Like you know when they like filled up the walrus too much because they didn't know what a warrus look like.

Oh, the horneman. Yeah, yeah, it's like that spring rolls. Why am I imagine the teeny tiny spring

spring? It's a big spring roll. Beated boys, they're busy Wilders book. I think like a fistworth. Yeah.

Let us know if you try them. But you didn't do I had cheeseburg, so I'd melt some cheese on top of it, like you're doing an enchilada, and then dip it in the burger sauce. Oh, please, Sophie, you must. I'm coming around. You could have that whilst listening to the Hitler episodes of Real Dictators.

What a night in. What a night in. While you read other people's sexual problems. In my head, that's how it goes. Let's get into it. You'd fucking love that. I've actually turned myself on. I just the idea of it. Come on. Sophie Hagen, what an amazing.

amazing guests. You brought questions. You brought commonalities. You brought tension. I'll be honest. I thought we'd have more in common. You brought food. You fucking angel. You brought great advice. And my goodness me, you brought a girthy, gertie pig. Bacon Hagen. Bacon Hagen. Oh, bacon.

Here's a question. Where can people find you? Social media. So F-I-E-H-E-G-E-N. Yes. That's spelled the way you would want to. And I... What's that name? No, your name. It's my full name. Say it again, it was so far. S-O-F-I-E-H-A-G-E-N.

Such a funny way of saying it. I know. Brilliant. No, I liked it. Social media and I wrote a book called Happy Fat ages ago. It's great. I have a new setter and things will be coming up. Where can people see you perform?

When does it come out? This Thursday. Oh, okay. November 19th. 24 hours. November 19th at Earth Hackney. I'm doing my show that I did in there. There's like no job left, though.

It's so good. There are some tickets left. Like 20? Some tickets left. I don't know how many. It was my favorite show at Edna. I absolutely loved it. Everyone I sent to see it thereafter, adored it.

Everyone I know loved it. It's such a good show. Go and see it. And also, it's full of surprises. And also, I love that you are, you don't have a pattern of joke, which is unusual for most comics, do. Like, they really do, the punchlines come from places you don't expect. It's so good. Enjoy.

It's so true. It's really amazing. No, it's such a good show. Go see it. Okay, so that's the 19th. And then are you going on tour? Eventually next year. Okay, okay. That's the only show I have like coming up.

Podcasts people can listen to you. I have no current podcast. But they can go and listen to... Oh, I have made of human, which is now called Who Hurt You? I went on that. You did. You both did. I even had so resistant to the Adira therapy.

It was pre-breakdown. It was so, such a while. I remember being very like, holy shit this is a lot you know that like I listened I was like oh I'm going to listen to this because I was like I think this is just before remember that summer in Edinburgh

that yeah when Helen was her mind but I remember like going like oh I'll listen to this and I clicked on it and it starts with Sophie I don't know if it still turns going like God I thought she would have got in contact and said she didn't want to put her out but she hasn't

oh yeah remember there here we go and it's like it's not for everyone the last minute to do the intro because I was like I was so certain And yeah, it was so good. You were so... I was so, like, unaware of how mad I was. I think everyone will now be going to listen to that. Yeah, it was really, really good.

No, no, that's not a recommendation to listen to that. I think we'll all be listening to that on the way. No, if you want to hear an origin story, go there. Fantastic. And then I did bad people, which is a true crime podcast. Which is excellent. From CBC Sounding. Excellent.

I'm just that it's over. Yeah. It's that, okay, after this, you're going to tell me which comedian you share a therapist with. You're going to tell me you were a therapist. And we're all going to go, eat this box. Have a great day! Oh, well, a huggy, huggy day to you, our executive producers. Thank you so much for your support, you guys.

Guy Goodman, you guys got us good stuff. Simon Moore, Mary Fox, Annie Tonner, Sarah Harke-Dekin. I'm sorry, I'd feel a really big swallow there because I was thinking about the pudding. That we just... You have a claggy made for all the way. Sarah Harkay Deakin, Oliver Jago, Anthony Conway, and Matthew Thomas. We all have too much Danish in our mouth for this. Oh, what a saucy thing to say after Sophie Hagan's left.

I was on Sophie Hagan's box. Thank you. Let's take a little step now out of our executive lounge and into the producer's quarters and say thank you to Richard Bicknell, L, Richard Bold, Neil, Redmond, Victoria, Huchison, Harold Van Dyke, Tim and Dom, David Walker, Rachel Larson, Rhea, O'N, Jones, Jess and Nick, Zoe, Sarah and Molly. Raya Fink Cordelia Rachel Page Helen A. Tina Lindsay, Graham Marsh

Amy O'Reardon Abbey Warf Key Webb Matt Sims Luke Bright, Leah Kate Spencer, Tristan Liz Fort, Taz, Clow, Becky Fox, Emily Gee Emily G Dean Michael, Glenis Wood

Ooh, Stephanie Katratracha Sophie Cheever's Mark Anthony Those are two separate names Not a Mark Anthony Oh my God Did you imagine if JLo's X was this name That would be for Nourminato

And Carrie Seuth Is that right? Well have we got some new producers in there Or carry soothee. It's soothes like sooth. Cooze. And is it Cary or Cary? Oh, I didn't check that part.

Well, Carrie Soothe or Cary Sooth. We applaud you for joining the team. There's quite a few new producers in there. Oh, I love to see it, and I love to hear it. Thank you all so much. Woo-hoo. You're thriving. You're thriving.

You've made some great life choices. Oh, thank you for supporting us. Thank you to everyone who listens to. If you're just telling your friends, that is so helpful. Thank you. Spread the good word of the hog!