Trusty Hogs - Ep106. LOLLY ADEFOPE / Guinness, Ghosts and Gatekeeping

Episode Date: November 2, 2023

What better way to see out Halloween season than with a real life Ghost... Yes it's none other than the brilliant LOLLY ADEFOPE! We had a lot of fun talking self-produced school plays, Rugrats and corsets... FOLLOW LOLLY: @LollyAdefopeThank you so much for listening!Support us at https://www.patreon.com/TrustyHogs for exclusive bonus content, merch, and more!Trust us with your own problems and questions... [e-mail] give us a follow @TrustyHogs on all socialsBe sure to subscribe and rate us (unless you don’t like these little piggies - 5 Stars only!)Thank you to our Patreon supporters...EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Guy Goodman / Simon Moores / Mary Fox / Annie Tonner / Sarah Jarque-Deakin / Oliver Jago / Anthony Conway / Matthew ThomasPRODUCERS: Richard Bicknell / Elle / Richard Bald / Neil Redmond / Victoria Hutchison / Harald van Dijk / Tim & Dom / David Walker / Rachel R / Sadie Cashmore / Claire Owen-Jones / Jess & Nick / Zoë / Sarah & Molly / Raia Fink / Cordelia / Rachel Page / Helen A / Tina Linsey / Graham Marsh / Amy O'Riordan / Abbie Worf / Kie Web / Matt Sims / Luke Bright / Leah / Kate Spencer / Tristin / Liz Fort / Taz / Klo / Becky Fox / Emily Gee / Dean Michael / Glenys Wood / Stefanie Catracchia / Sophie Chivers / Marc / Anthony / Carey Seuthe / Charley AWith Helen Bauer (Daddy Look at Me, Live at the Apollo) & Catherine Bohart (Roast Battle, Mock the Week, 8 Out of 10 Cats)FOLLOW HELEN, CATHERINE & ANDREW...@HelenBaBauer@CatherineBohart@StandUpAndrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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have to be a home pro. You just have to hire one. You can hire top-rated pros, seed price estimates, and read reviews all on the app. Download today. Hello and welcome to episode 106 of Trustee Hogs. I'm Catherine Bowhart. I'm Ellen Bauer. And we have had a morning, but we'll get into that in a moment. First, we need to tell you that trusty hogs is a podcast where don't blow your nose mid intro you can't are you joking i'm sorry sometimes sometimes when i've had the morning i've had oh my god oh pause please i beg you to just hold on a second okay uh this is the podcast where you tell you about our perfect lives except for when helen's had to do anything and then we help you solve your own

problems because you write them into us and we're absolutely here for your advice today we have an incredible famous comedian lollia da fope on i love lollia da vosa i'm very excited But for now, Helen Bauer, I know you're desperate to tell me you've had a bad day. Through the fog, step forth the trusty hogs, yeah, you're going to give me your problems, and they will solve them, or maybe they won't, and that's your problem. They'll have guests, and Andrew White on the tech. Oh, it's Helen and Catherine As the trusty hogs Trust the trusty hogs

Or maybe not It all starts in Ireland As every bad story does Fuck you As every bad story Have you ever heard a story Or someone like Well she was born in Ireland

And it's like well that's going to turn out good It's awful Catherine Air Lingus Don't want me to be happy Everything was delayed It was all a disaster I wanted to go to bed last night so I could get at least five hours sleep

and instead my friend Fifi was like, ah, you'll have another one ah you'll have another one Ah, ah, ah, ah, you have another one you'll have another one So then, and then... Is she a crow or... She's from cork?

You couldn't tell that from what you did. No, I think that was close to that. Nope, not even a little bit. Okay, ah, you'll have another one Helen, are you'll have another one. You're thirsty there, I can see. Is she a pirate? Close. She works in a chocolate shop.

She, but I was trying to Down Guinness. This is nothing to do with why I was two hours late today. Oh, right. This just happens to start with you down in Guinness with an Irish woman, but it's definitely all heirlingus as far. Yeah, it was awful. And then the Lays at East Croydon Station, terrible stuff.

And then the bus route. But what I always like, when things go against you, is that you deal with them with such composure, such dignity, such grace. You don't send 74 text messages. You don't. How many do you think? I think I sent to the...

Cry. You don't even come in and screaming. You were nothing but serenity and grace. I did have a nice cry actually. You have to. You must. But you're here now, Helen, and that's the main thing. Are you glad?

Was anything good about Ireland? How about you tell me that? I feel like I should live in a bin. Okay. Again... I feel disgusting. I tried to shower this morning in the hotel, but apparently they don't have hot water in Dublin.

They do. Well, I don't think they do. We just don't give it to English people. Because I turned it on. Oh yeah, they were fucking. Yeah. Was there anything good about Arlington? I kept mentioning the famine on stage.

It was like a tick. Oh, I couldn't see that for you. Not. And it was so much fun. Like, obviously they were like over the moon if I got charged higher for things for reparations. And I don't like clap and I did the accent a lot more than I should have done. I mean, I know you're supposed to do it full stop. No, I certainly don't know when you can't.

I just felt judgment in some play. Like everyone, all the hogs were lovely. I got to cork and I was like, because you know, like I had my first spice bag, the witch for anyone who is new to hair it's like, describe a spice bag It's like... Okay, a spice bag in Ireland is basically An assortment of the day's meats

That they have going spare Chips, this is out your Chinese takeaway Wacked into a bag They whack in the sauce or spice of the day They shake it all up Usually it's got stuff like chicken bowls Or just like pork or chips And they just give that a big old shake up

And then they sort of throw it at you And that is an Irish delicacy And it's so life-changingly amazing. It's like my first one was it last year in Tallamore. Yeah. And then I got to cork and I was like gagging for one. Because like Belfast, like I had like lunch but there was nowhere open late at night. And I like had drinks with like Jambrista.

It's really hard to get late night food in Belfast. In my opinion. Honestly, that city is fucked. They need to sort that out. No. No. It's not fucked. But I do think they could have more late night food option.

And everyone in Belfast being like, well, the Titanic was fine when it left here. Ha ha ha ha. And so I didn't have enough life boats. You fucking idiots. Like you. Did you say that? No, try not to get into too many fights when I'm up there.

Try not to get political. Yeah. All right, go on. Yeah, they said like the percentages like if I sang an IRA song would be like so split. I didn't. I didn't, so I didn't.

Okay, thank God. But it was just, you know, when you should have to figure out. I was like, there aren't enough lifeboats for that either, my love. Okay, so you get your spice bag in Dublin. No, this is a problem.

I couldn't find any like Chinese restaurants or like fish and chips shops or whatever. If they don't come from fish and chips or they come from Chinese take them. Okay, well, I couldn't see any. So then I went to a spa in court. Right. And they had one there on at the deli counter. No way.

But apparently I've been there since like midday or something. But I was like, oh, that's, I've got a strong stomach. That's absolutely fine. And then like, well, I got back to the venue. Hang on. I'm sick of this. Every time you go somewhere abroad, you get a horrible, horrible stomach or intestinal issue. And then you're like, why does this happen to me?

And it's like, well, because you keep buying day old spice bags from deli canters. It wasn't a day old. It was about seven hours old. Right. Okay. And it had been sitting there a deli counter and it didn't taste exactly the same as I remember it, but I thought it was really good.

But then, because I ate it inside the venue room and it's quite a small venue, the venue then smelt like that. And I was on stage like, digesting. Hang on, is this a couplains in... Yeah. It's the smallest venue. Why the fuck would you eat a spice bag in there?

It's a 60s eater. It's not even. It's like a 50 seeder. Why would you eat a spice bag in that tiny thatched pub room? Because I got confused. It was just like a really long day. I went straight to the venue because like... Is the thatched?

I just remembered it small. It's not. Not thatched, but it does have that, like, we're one of the fiddly diddly D ones in the South sort of pub vibe, you know? Like, you know, hello. And, um, hey, and they, but it was, it was charming.

The gig was nice. Both gigs were nice. I went on a boat, um, because apparently there were dolphins inside of cork. Like dolphins swam up the, is it, what's the river on cork? The Lee. The Lee. Did you see them? No.

I was very upset. But you went, you looked cool on the boat. I thought of the story. I went on boaty. I went to the Cork Butter Museum. Oh yeah! Oh my God, nice. Any good? The most charming museum I've ever been to.

Didn't Neil used to do a set about the Butter Museum? Exactly why I went. I was like, I have to... Like, you know when you're like, someone is like a set about something and you're like, okay, but it's not going to be like that exactly. It is. It is exactly what he says. This is a comedian called Neil O'Rourke.

If you saw me in the last two dates in Ireland, you'd have seen Neil. He's fucking incredible. He took me there. literally the history of butter from the cork perspective Yeah You know my grandfather was a creamery farmer Of course he was about

According to this video Everyone works in dairy Right They had an old American man Do the video for the cork butter creamery Everyone works in dairy There was this old man See from Delaware

No cork No Kerry That's close enough isn't it No, not even a little. But come here to me, so you're at the butter factory and... Did you get any butter? No, they don't do any samples. Museum, my apologies.

There was a, like, a making session in a day, but we missed it. That's on me. But, but it's so emotional because at the end of the video, they're interviewing this, like, man. And he must be, like, in his, like, late 70s, early 80s, and he's all red in the face, and he's just so proud. And you can tell he's, like, going to say something he's so proud of. And he was like, sort of looks at the barrel of the lens and goes, when I started at Kerry Gold, we were in four countries.

Now I'm retiring. And we're in 83. We broke China. And had the video fades to black. And I genuinely felt me. I actually really want to see that. I was like, I don't have anything. I don't even have.

You got into China. We broke China. Because it's like they were. In England really quickly, they did really well in Germany, but like... You made it sound like they broke China, like they ruined China as opposed to like they broke into the industry. I assume he said it was more excitement than... Sure, we're filling up pallets of Kerry Gold to go to Beijing every Sunday.

Like, it's that sort of a thing. But he's so, like, it's so rare that you see someone that did everything they wanted to do in life and is able to like sit down, be interviewed about it and just sort of say, and I did it. Like, my dream was for people all over the world to eat Kerry Gold. It's the best butter in the world. It's the best butter in the fucking world. It's because it's more yellow than pale. That's because of the quality of the grass that the cows eat.

That sort of colour it. It's not that pale colour like the fucking French have. It's delicious. It's salty. It's creamy. It's heaven. Oh, God. You really need to go to the Butter Museum.

I love Kerry Gold. so much. I love it so much. You have to go, it's five euro. It's only like three rooms in the video is the main thing. Oh yeah, I paid for Neil as well. Did I ever tell you that I worked in the only cinema that was left in Europe? Question mark in Dublin. It was certainly the last one in Ireland that had

the health and safety permissions to serve hot butter on popcorn. It was the greatest job in my life. Greatest honour and privilege actually. So you would order your popcorn and then I would go to a vat of melted hot butter. God, you've not turned me on this much in a while.

And I would often double the box so you wouldn't get that drift. Shut your whole mouth. And then if I liked you, I wouldn't just give you one ladle. I'd even maybe half fill the bucket, then put butter in the centre, and then refill it. And then I would pour melted butter all over the popcorn. Such as the experience of eating it made you genuinely like finger deep in grease, but was exquisite. You'd be left with a sort of clawing, salty mouth. But until then, the experience was...

Can you, can you, like, try and sell me that? Like, I'm coming into the cinema. I don't know what it is. Like... Hi, what can I get you? Hi, I'm just a snack. I'm going to watch Gladiator. It's the year 2000.

Would you like popcorn? Or nachos? Or a hot dog. Oh. We sell all of them here. And what sort of popcorn do you do? Well, I can get you sold to or sweet, or if you'd like, I could pour hot. melted butter

over your salted popcorn and then it can be warm and I guess greasy but salty and tie it because the cinema's in the dark could you would you like that? Could you mix some peanut butter into a place?

We don't have that but you could put Eminem peanuts through and they'd melt in the butter would that be nice? Would you like that? Here comes the second cry of the day. I do think I want that. Yeah, I'll make it for you when you come to my house sometimes.

Because I'm not a massive popcorn person, but then I remember seeing... I make it all the time with salted butter. I don't think you... Oh my God, it's divine. I'll make it for you. We've got a sleep over next week. Do we? Yeah?

Great. Do you remember? Yes. I'm sleeping over yours. Wonderful. On the 31st! Oh, for fuck sake! I want to do...

There's like a way that people do... popcorn where they do that like you melt chocolate with butter and then you stir the popcorn into it and then you cover it with coconut like desiccated coconut and it's like a chocolate macaroon tree and it's like really like light and it's just like moorish and I'm like oh my god so you're staying at mine on the 30 first is it yeah oh right okay what if the 31st would have already happened by the time this goes out because we're recording this a week in advance after the outside is awful gig how was your sleepover with me greasy than I anticipated you gets falling off the blow-up bed.

And we're not sharing a bed? Absolutely not. Oh no, are you serious? Yeah, no way, I would never. Do you share beds with your friends? Yes. I only have a, like, a normal double. We can't be in there together.

I can fit in a normal... What the fuck do you think I am? No, not you. Not Brendan Fraser in the whale. I mean, I'm on mobile. Jesus Christ. Hell, and I didn't mean like that. I mean, like, I don't want to share...

I've only got a normal bed. feels very sizes. I meant standard double. No, I don't want to be in a that bed with a partner. I mean, like we'd have to touch if we're in that. Yes. I don't want that. Friends touch. That wasn't sizes. Have you met me? I don't want to touch you. I won't do anything. I'm frigid as fuck. I don't, but you'll smell of butter.

I just, oh yeah, but when I'd just be like, like, here comes, here comes big hell and we're a butter smell. No, I'm going to make you a lovely bed up in the spare room that you can get as buttery as you like. Oh, I genuinely thought we were having like... I don't even share a bed with my sister. Like lights off and we keep... What?

Yeah, I just think beds are for private time sort of like... Me and France... ...the Tom Mexico accommodation specifically to share beds and places. On purpose. When you could have not shared beds. Yeah, we were like, let's get a double bed instead of a twin bed because there's more space in the room that way and then we both get to share.

That's hell to me. I want a King's... size bed for Ellen and I and she wants a standard double because she likes to be close to me and I hate it. Okay, I'm with the king, I've got a king size bed just for me. Yeah, but okay, maybe because apparently I need it. No, you can't. We could share that, but I don't want to touch. It's something to do

with your size. I don't want to hear you mouth breathing. I don't want you to touch me with your feet. I don't want you to, I'm allowed to breathe Catherine. I want you to breathe, but I don't want you to breathe like as I try to sleep is all I'm saying. That's fair. I genuinely, I think I just had a different image in my head of what this was going to be, but it's fine. You thought we'd have full

I don't know, it's fine. I didn't think we'd be having fools. I once actually, when I was like 21, I was sharing a bed with my friend, Jacob Besberg. And he clearly thought I was his boyfriend. Like, he clearly, like, woke up in the night and thought I was his boyfriend. And he turned over and, like, went to go for my pants.

And I was, like, still awake. And I felt him going. And I, like, clumped my legs together. Like, boom! And he did an impression. of it for years. Did not get in bed with Helen. If you got even close,

who! See, I think... No! No! I think I'm much less like to do that and more likely to like just sleep on the very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very edge and be really stressed

to not be able to sleep the whole time. Okay, I get... I'm not going to force my way into your bed because of consent and stuff. It's genuinely chill. It's genuinely chill. Okay, are you sure? Mm-hmm.

You seem insulted. I think I'm like a little bit like, I want the butter. I don't know what I want right now. I want Ealingas. I think it's on me. I think it's because I said normal double bed and I meant standard. And so I'm sorry for that.

I just want you to know I can fit in. I know you can fit in a standard bed. Okay, well not standard standard standard. Like I will be off the bottom. No, like on like a standard cruise bed. Because you're very tall, aren't you? Because it's very tall. But you fit in my IKEA standard.

I mean, I'd hope so. You have when you've lain there while I've done my makeup. Oh yeah, you get so upset. I do hate it when I've just faded. Anyway. Do you bring on our gas? I think it's probably for the best. Because I feel like I might cry again.

No. Okay, you can't say that on the podcast. Everyone's going to be messing with saying I'm a bully. Oh, no, no, not because of Catherine, because of my womb. What's wrong with your womb? Oh, we don't have time. Please welcome to the podcast. Lolliata Fopi!

Yay! Hello, it's me, Catherine Bowhart, and I've been writing a new show and I'm taking it on tour. The show is called Again with Feelings, and I think it's my best one. I'm going on tour very soon and I'm going to the following venues if you want to come see me. I'm going to Soho Theatre. I'm going to Brighton, Aldershot, Edinburgh, Glasgow, Newcastle, Nottingham, Norwich, Winchester, Cambridge, Oxford, Oxford, Bath, Birmingham, Manchester, Leeds, Liverpool, Sheffield, Exeter, Corsham, Bristol, Coventry, Guildford, Portsmouth, Swindon, Dublin, and then again to London. look, I know you're probably thinking, but Catherine, I don't live in any of those places. Well, first of all, I'm travelling. So, I think you could try. But also, I will, um, I'm doing my best.

I'll try. I hope you live near one of those. And if not, um, let me know and I'll try to, um, see what I can do. But gosh, I hope you can come again with feelings. Tickets are at catherine bowhart.com. And I'd love to see you there. Oh, and also, if you have, um, a sort of queer with ambiguous interests, why not buy them a ticket for Christmas? Don't know what to get them. I'm better than soap. Well, I'm a better than soap. Huge claim, actually. I'm a gift idea, along with soap.

What's up? I'm still on tour. I'm coming to Cork, Dublin, York, Leeds, Nottingham. No, Leeds are sold out. Forget it. Lester. Bristol, which has got like five left. Reading, Berlin, Birmingham, Guildford,

Aldershot, Norwich, Newcastle, Edinburgh, Glasgow. Fuck, there's so much travel. Cambridge, Manchester and Maidenhead. Oh man. That's going to be... Please come. please come because some of those are like when it's really cold and dark out and I'll be sad bring gifts thank you bye

hey hey folks it's mark bitman from the podcast food with mark bitman it's hard for me to believe we're talking about back to school but whether you're thinking lunch boxes or nourishing dinners whole foods market is the place to shop and their high standards allow you to shop with confidence Their house brand, 365 by Whole Foods Market, has everything you need for quick and convenient breakfast, lunches, and dinners from oatmeal to trail mix to wild fish sticks. Explore the many ways you can save on back-to-school foods at Whole Foods Market. Avoiding your unfinished home projects because you're not sure where to start, Thumbtack knows home so you don't have to. Don't know the difference between matte paint finish and satin or what that clunking sound from your dryer is. With Thumbtack, you don't have to be a home pro.

You just have to hire one. You can hire top-rated pros, see price estimates, and read reviews all on the app. Download today. Oh, look. What? Helen, we're recording.

Wow. Whose hair did you just pull out of your teeth? That's mine. Oh, God. But that is incredible. That was grim as hell. The length of that was... Really nice.

Was... Did it come from your boobs or from your head? Yeah, but at first I was like, oh, look, her nipple hair, but then obviously realised because there was no feeling a head hair there was no feeling, that's a head hair. There could have been pulled later on. Yeah, it could have been a pub. That's not

no... It would be pulled much later if it was that long. Good point. I'm going to say this, it's not, not pub because of the length because obviously we all go through the phases and see... You know when you're like... It's winter. But you know when you're like, I want to see how long it will get? Like, do you go through those phases with different hairs on your body? Like, my favourite

is to see how long I can get the hairs on the back of my thighs, because they're like such... Oh, you're obsessed with this. Yeah. Because it's such a weird, it's like in between pub texture and leg hair texture. Yeah. There's a wiriness, but it hasn't committed to pub. Yeah. It's like a size it's growing. Yeah. Whereas

nipple hairs generally a lot shorter, but this is, what a treat. I'll pop that on the floor for later. Oh, lovely. Have we started recording? Oh, good. I'm so glad. That's the first thing we've said to Lolli out of Belfay. Yay! Lolly we have to talk about it you're wearing a power suit

you look phenomenal it's like you know who our audience was and you were like what would the lesbians want to see did anyone want some pinstripe and the answer is yes yes we do thank you so much for arriving in it

wow you know what makes me think of Al Capone and that is a compliment oh that's so funny it's got the like I think it's because it's reminding me of my year eight school play

Big Al the youth called about Apopon's life when does a compliment start No, but that's it, like, the original sort of, like, gangster. Yeah, yeah. But it's definitely got a, like, you should have a cigar sort of a vibe. Yeah. And, like, fire accountant.

Oh, my God. And then go to Alcatraz. Wow, this is inspiring. Favorite prison to go to. One's worth. Yeah. Local, nice and local. Shout.

Keep yourself. And you'll know you'd be able to get out again, which is nice. You'd want to go somewhere that your family can visit. Easy for your friends. Easy for your friends. Exactly. I wouldn't mind doing, like, a couple of weeks in Rikers. you know, in America.

Sure, just to say that you've done it. Yeah, I think it's like, because you see you on TV all the time and it's like, obviously, you're gutted, you're going to prison full stop. But like, why not also be the same place for you're like, oh my God, is this where Anna Sorokin was from inventing Anna?

Sure. Like, did they film here? Yeah. Am I on set? Like, you know, like, it's sort of like prison slash universal like movie tours in Orlando. While the conditions seem worse in the States, it also seems more likely

somebody will make an expose about that bad treatment. Yes. Whereas the treatment's awful in, Britain, but no one's going to, no one cares. Have you seen that show? God, sorry, that wasn't really very fun. That was quite dark and upsetting.

Hey, listen, yeah, we got in so early and I'm like, oh no. Oh, no. When you're like just browsing Netflix and you're like, oh, I'll give this a go and it's called World's Toughest Prisons and I was like, okay. Well, I was like, oh, I'm quite into these sort of documentaries. I'll give it a go. And it's an English guy and it starts being like, oh, we go into toughest prisons all over the world and there's like three seasons of it.

And it's like different like cities, different. countries and you're like okay so we'll to see what the prison system's like that no okay but like yeah 100% and then he's like um do the interview being like we're going to be going in there meeting the inmates and seeing what life is really like and this isn't my first time inside my name is blah blah I can't remember now I was wrongfully convicted of murder and spent nine years in jail in the UK and it's like what the fuck but he was like a BBC journalist got wrongfully convicted or something. No, he was wrongfully convicted. He did a journalism course in

prison and then came out when they're like, the, got overturned and he realized that he was innocent, and now he goes to different prisons around the world. You mean, they realised he was. He knew the whole time I think he knew, yeah, yeah, he would have known. He wasn't like, wait a minute. I don't even, hang on, I was wearing

what, top? I don't even have a feel at top. No, that checks out. Okay, great. I'm telling you now, I know, I said, you said, one's worth and I'm not here to correct you, but you want to go to Sweden or Norway. Okay. Yeah.

If you're going to want to... You don't get a choice. No, but if you did, I think... I think choose somewhere you could upskill. Yeah. Yeah. If I do a crime in Sweden, what happens? You come out more qualified.

Sure. I think. You get to live in open spaces. You get green. You get to engage in Sweden. Oh, I should think so. I think so. But I think maybe the British taxpayer has to pay for your prison stay probably.

Sure. Gosh. Maybe. None of us really know this, do we? No. Because, you know, at first, fun conjecture. The prison that Bridgett Jones goes to and Bridget Jones too looks then. That looks awful in Thailand.

Yeah, but they all wear wonder bras and they sing. But that's the worst part about it. You're already in prison in Thailand and now this white woman's just singing at you? Yeah, that's a good point. I'd be like, can I get a freaking break? Jesus Christ. There might be someone out there who needs to know this information. She's like, can anyone tell me my weight today?

fucking hell Christ Lolly how the hell are you I'm good thank you so much for asking How are you? Great Ghost is over Ghost is over

What it's on at the moment Of course it is But what are you doing with your life Just watching it? I'm chilling out Just watching it over and over again You know Seeing where I could have done things differently

Nice Kitty can't do anything different She's perfect No she really is Please thank you I love her She's a puppet Will you miss her?

She's so sweet I miss her so much I won't miss her corset but I will miss everything else about her. Wait, so the outfit you're wearing is it like a genuine corset? Genuine corset. Holy shit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. How long does it take to get into? Well, 15 minutes. What? Everything altogether. Corset, underscurt, petticoat, dress, lace thingy. Excuse me, what's the different thing?

Petty coat and an underscourte? Underskirt is just sort of a not particularly, interesting material and it just fills it out. Petticoat is like, I mean, that could be wrong about this, but like I think it's the thing that you see under, like the pink thing you see under her dress. Maybe I made that up, but there are different layers

and some of them are just sort of filling out. She does look like a lovely cake. She does. A beautiful cake. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But wait, so corset. Can you breathe in it? I was going to say, do you have to, what you do for lunch? You can breathe for lunch.

Sometimes, well, I'll take the layers off. Sometimes I keep the corset on because the corset by itself is not that bad Okay, it's all the waist It's quite, you know, it's quite, I feel structured, I feel poised Gorgeous But with everything else it's heavy, it's heavy stuff Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's intense

Are people, do people have to like really yank it from behind? Yeah, I think in the first series we like went to the costume place And the woman was really yanking because she didn't work on the show She was a costume woman And seemed to have a personal grudge against you Yeah, it was strange

and she was kind of like it needs to be this type and then after a while it sort of like bends to your body and it starts to like loosen up a little bit but in the beginning it was it was tough that's intense I actually want a corset now the idea of big no but like

I know it means it was like your poise and like the structure like and then I kind of want to do that and then have you seen those like videos people with like the smallest waist ever yes they've worn a corset for like Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're on this side of YouTube as well.

Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 100%. A girl, speaking of toxic, a girl in my school, Jillian O'Halloran probably be better names. Now that I hear it, I used to wear a corset under her school uniform before debating when we were debating against the boys' school. No way. We had...

Wait, you only have like a jumper. Oh, I can't even stress enough how much you could not tell. She was wearing... We had button-up, like, blue and white check shirts. We had red ties. We had pinnifers or heavy skirts. had cardigans or jumpers that were thick, royal blue wool. We had skirts down to our ankles.

What was the corset for? Yes, ankles. Otherwise Jesus can see. Otherwise Jesus can say. At the sexiest part of the body. Even what world? Oh, and we had knee-high socks just in case. But did she say I'm wearing a corset so that to make sure that people near?

I guess so, yeah. Because otherwise how did I know? Yeah. But to the boys. And she was also like rasping from, like. Yeah. Was she doing it for confidence? Or was she doing it because she thought,

maybe they would tell discipline. It's so fascinating that you think I would have asked those questions at 15 and instead I was just like I wonder if I should get a corset

and that would be my lunch time being like but it was like a fashion corset a trendy corset it was like a satin purple corset underneath the uniform yeah

okay that's actually kind of a slave yeah I guess I guess and then she'd be like debating whether they should have abortion or not in a purple corset oh we did not speak that word

in Ireland how dare you good lord what in the edge of education system. Ankle-length skirts. I went to school in a convent. What were you discussing?

Whether the women should have the right to vote remote. We literally just had divorce legalised so we did a lot of that. Oh, that's good. Yeah, that is fun. I'm old. Hey, so...

Wait, when was divorce? Ninety-sixth in Ireland? Could we double-check that? Ninety-six. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So Charles and Diana, that wouldn't have even happened. Well, the bigger issue would be. the royalty, but yeah, sure.

Bang on, 1996. Wow. Someone did debate. Isn't that wild? Wait, what was your school thing? What was your, were you like a drama kid? Were you a debate kid? I was,

I suppose I was a drama kid, but we didn't really have a drama. You were just presents. You're just creating it on your mind. Yeah, yeah, I was a toxic. Oh, shy. So not actually the drama group was running around being like, I know you were a fucking bear. Oh, no, she didn't.

She said you're a fucking merch. Yeah, I'm probably closest to a class clown, I suppose I had a wonderful drama teacher called Miss Hennessy Shout out Miss Henness She was not Irish No

Thank God But she While everyone else was doing Duke of Edinburgh She was like Do you want to do this thing called Arts Award Which is basically like

The drama version of Duke of Edinburgh Oh my god And I was like Well you see me Was it just you and Miss Hennessy? I don't think anyone else did it Oh that's so sweet I think she probably offered it to other people

But then it was sort of like a Miss Honey Matilda's situation like I think you should probably do the arts award You're not going to want to do all that walking Come on How do you get an arts award You, there's like different things you can do I wrote a play

Oh Age 17 She's a prodigy We have to find out What's it called What's a cold What's the theme It's going to be

It's going to be bulimia Anorexia suicide death It's going to be like every teenager For Jesus Divorce could be It could be child of divorce No it won't be darker than child I think you're giving me too much credit.

I think it was, look, the setting of the play was I was in a paddling pool on a stage. Oh, she's much more, that's very, isn't. Well, what does it represent? Exactly, exactly. Grief. And my father was played by one of my best friends, Claudia, Charlotte, Claudia. She said her, Claudia.

She's 17 as well at the time. She's 17 as well at the time. She's wearing a waistcoat I brought in from home. Fabio. Fabulous. And she's, I'm unclear as to whether she was my dad or my adoptive dad. Here we go.

But I was sort of, you know, a rebellious teen and she was my dad and sort of trying to- Well, I guess we can figure to say, how much did she look like you? Well, she's white. Okay, so adoptive. Yeah, yeah. But I can't remember if that was in the script or not.

Maybe it was a coloured band casting. Everyone would be called me a colouring like casting. We're looking for any race, any gender. This was like a waiting for God. style two-parter. It was a two-parter, but there were two chorus members. Oh, Lolly!

Who I think were two girls, lovely girls, Leanne and Annie. Hi, Leanne and Annie. Because there was this song that we used to sing that was like... In the play? In school we used to sort of sing this like... It wasn't like a nursery rhyme. It was just a really sort of haunting

song that you sing around. And you know, like, when you're like, like that song's so good I need to like put that in something um and so then I put it in the play like play where jacket but just like I was thinking it's I don't know what I think it's like just like a song it's like not linked to any country or but it's like a nursery rhyme when you were all like that slumps it's like higher than a nursery rhyme in terms of like respect levels for the song okay I got you but it's it's I mean I'm not going to sing it share or something please sing it I actually can't I physically can't okay okay okay I'd be

I feel like you're very, we are taking a little segue out of the play, but we'll be returning to the paddling pool, but I will say that you're a little gatekeeperie with the song, and can I also say that that's a trend with you, Lolly Ed Covey, because actually I went to watch Lolly, watch, apparently you're supposed to dance, but I went to watch Lollie DJ. Thank you. I would not dance, I would only watch. And can I say, I didn't know any of the songs. Okay, that's not what gatekeeping, though?

Hang on. Oh, dear. that was gatekeeping of a good time and I felt old and I felt like why don't they have any lyrics okay so I think the least you could do

to circle back Catherine you're getting into your angry space so I'm loving this really quickly you've left your window of tolerance therapy speak I think it's important to remember that the hand is raised if anyone watching on YouTube

just like let's bring it down and let's enter our green space and leave the head for a little minute Okay. Catherine, I hear you. I appreciate you coming to me with this. Thank you.

I would like to correct you. I didn't gatekeep. In fact, the playlist for my DJ set is available on Spotify. There was pre-reading. Nobody told me I could have done the reading. No, I was put after, to be fair. It was after.

But I would actually say that a lot of the songs... I would say that all moment, Catherine, I would say that a lot of the songs were quite old songs. So I'm interested that you found, that you felt old, because a lot of the crowd were quite Gen Z and I think they were kind of like, what is this?

Well, that's why I felt old, isn't it, Lolly? Yes, that's why you felt old. But I can't control that. I really can't control that. What sort of songs were being played here? Is this the first time or the second time? The second time? I don't know.

Don't you remember me being there watching? Wasn't that central for you? Yes. But I thought you were there at the first one. And then I had to go home because I was tired. That was the second one, that was the second one. Well, I'm playing, you know. Crazy Frog by Eric from that.

Come on, Lolly. You know that some of those were cool and I couldn't have known them. They had lyrics, though. It's an indie night. Was it? Yeah, although I strayed from the theme, but it's originally an indie night.

I played, you know, I played Fontaine's D.C. I don't know. Thank you. It wasn't a single bewitched. No, but I'm not going, I'm not touching that. I guess it would be appropriate.

I get it. I get it. You're not Claudia, am I right? Thank you. Back to Claudia. Yeah, so quickly back to Panple. I want to hear more about it mainly because I'm worried that like miss, yeah. I'm just, I just feel like this was like,

like all the other teachers were like, we need to do something with Lolly. Like she's clearly got an amazing creative outlook and life. She keeps singing sea shanties. Wasn't a sea shanty? It wasn't, but it's that vibe. Okay. Yeah.

Were you doing cups and cups and hands? Sort of, yeah. Yeah, they're definitely hands. So two chorus members would come on after the sort of the scene and we would all sing. Just call them Leanne and Annie. You don't need to be telling you at the chorus. Well, with my professional hat on, you know,

Boris I and chorus one on chorus two would come on and we would sing. As a four, we would sing this song in a round, and it was very haunting, they're very spiritual. And that was the play. Any audience members? Oh, yeah. No, sorry, Catherine. Miss Hennessy was there.

No, we did it for the school. No, you did it. I think so, yeah. We definitely did it in the main hall on the stage. Listen, I don't want to presume anything. But if I were to guess Old girl school? What do you mean?

Was it? Yeah, of course it was an old girl school Yeah, yeah, yeah Okay, cool So the coolest of audience It's an all girl school It's not like This is lame

This is kind of like a cool thing I didn't go to an old girl school I'm proud Exactly, that's why you're shocked Helen weirdly at all girls genuinely people would want To be the girls in the talent show Oh 100%

This isn't a talent, there's no talent No no but there was talent involved Whoa everyone's looking at her Yeah Three friends singing around in a paddling pool. Yeah, yeah. And then you got an award for that at the end of it. Arts Award, yeah.

What else did you have to do? Write a play and? Write a play, I think probably like write some sort of paragraph about the play and my process of writing the play. Oh, yeah. Did you have a still image in it? What is your process? What was your process?

My process, you know, listening to a lot of music, getting out there into nature. Getting out, getting in there into the paddling pool. Getting out into nature, but not. the Duke of Edinburgh word. No, no, no, no. Getting out into the station and then getting straight back

into my room and writing things down. And, yeah, no regrets. I mean, thank you to Miss Enasy because here I am on trusty Hawks. Wow. Wow.

With chorus one and chorus two. We're back, baby. This is like first year of sixth form college. Yes. Yeah. Incredible. And what was GCSE drama like for you?

GCSE drama was wonderful. It was my favourite time at last. Yeah, it was. Did you do Blue Remember Tills? Yes. Wait, are you in the same age? 33. 32?

Yeah, 53. Yeah. Fucking. Wow. Yeah. Same yeah. How was you telling? What's the Irish version of it?

I actually skipped the year where you do most drama in school, fourth year, which I'm fine with because my school of Irish girls was doing King and I. So. Wow. Yeah, that one's lied. Yikes. So, so I just sort of tottered on past that. It's been around here, someone where they all, like, spoiler or not,

if anyone's currently reading it for fun, do they all die in a barn at the end of fire? They all die in the barn fire at the end. And it's like famously adults playing children. Yes. And they've got West country accents. Yeah, we are 100% in there. Is it a play?

It's really obsessing. Yeah, it's a play, yeah. It's about, like, little kids and... It's kind of like a Lord of the Flies-ish vibe, I suppose. They're kind of playing with fire. But in, like, Somerset. Yeah. And it's not the upsetting bit

The accent. The accents The upsetting part or the... Well, the accent's the upsetting. Well, do you know what? I still find it fascinating that like, what media was I consuming at the time that meant that I could do a West Country accent? I have no idea. And yet I just could do one. Are you from the West Country? No. That's such a

like a gorgeous, like, subtle brag. No, but at 15. It's so weird because I haven't been exposed to that. And I was just like amazing. It must have been like a kids TV. Yeah, yeah. Rather than like Scottish or, you know, it's quite specific. How's your Scottish accent? So I find it easiest to get into it thinking of the way of the warrior from Raven.

Oh yes. And what is he says sort of like, are you ready to feast the warrior? Are you ready to feast the warrior? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nice. Both equally fine, I'd say. Solid stuff. Yeah, no, I loved it. Miss Hennessy would be. we've got each other She's what she's doing like Yeah Oh my god that's so cute

I'm friends with my I'm college drama teacher and face back That's really nice Isn't she your mom No my mom ran a different drama school Oh sorry okay The Anne Bauer School of Drama Really

Yeah From their living room Wow I've spoken about this so many times on this But my mum run an illegal drama school From the ages of 6 to 18 That is amazing From our living room

And I was in it Through nights a week That's a film You need to turn that into a film I actually do genuinely agree I really do agree what's the opposite of sunshine Little Miss

moonshine no yeah just be fucked up on the kids speech and drama festival circuit circa 2005 the pressure's got to me ma I mean I'm in

if that's the treatment if anyone is looking for entertainment in next year's spring summer I do recommend children of speech and drama festivals you can spend an afternoon watching 13-year-old pretend to be laid in the bath. I don't.

It is brilliant. I'm into that. I don't think adults should just go to the arts. I don't think they should just go to children's. There's adults there. There are the judges. Okay. I love to be a judge.

Yeah, you'd be amazing at that. Wow. She's on the circuit. Yeah, great. Shout out. And shout out to everyone who's on that circuit now. Good luck for next season. I'm sure they're listening.

I hope you make it to Bristol. Before. That I like Joe Chousousers. I hope you make it to Bristol He's like Daytona Beach for cheer Bristol Before we go to our listener problem What date is this coming out Andrew?

Of December November November You just lost a month then I know I read it Okay but we're getting into We are getting into the sort of murky, icky part of winter Don't force everyone wine that Christmas present No, oh my God

Do it on your own time I'm finished What's your star sign? Leo What's your star sign? Howie's. I'm you? Virgo. Interesting.

I don't know what any of the mean. Virgo is Earth. Ooh, I see that. Ew. Gross. Like, like Mother Earth. Yeah, grounded. Or Mother dirt.

Or like the least important characters in Elemental. That's how I. Have you seen Elemental yet? No, I've seen it. It's really, do watch it. Is it animated? Yeah, it's a new Disney Pixar film. It's not for me.

Same. You don't want to animate stuff? No. Not really. Not even like Arthur or Von of the Yukon. I did use to, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Obviously, Arthur.

I don't watch any more, I don't watch any more either. Having fun isn't hard when you've got a library card. What? Oh my God. Jekyll hi, Arthur transcendence. Come on, come on. Do you boys remember that?

Are you too young? No, I did what you're talking about. You know about Arthur? No, I'm so sorry. They're really little. Wait, was it like the mouse guy? He's an ard bar. He's an ard bar. Best friend was a bunny.

Thank you. Exactly. I do know this, yeah. It only finished recently. Yeah. Very sad. It had a gay wedding on it. Were you good at Lolly?

Yeah. Yeah. Because obviously, why end it? We all grew up thinking he would be on it. We all. We thought we'd voice how we got into it. There was an episode when we were growing up. Is that your origin story for the biz?

I just wanted to be on an episode of Arthur. Hey, DW! DW was an icon. Wow. R-I-P. I used to watch Doug. Did you watch Doug? Of course.

And I loved Patty Mayanase. And now I'm dating someone who looks exactly like her. Finally! Wow. Don't you see it? Don't you see it? A hundred percent. Yeah, it's wild.

And she's never seen it. So I was like, oh, Patty. I know, it's wild Hey Arnold Yes I am Helga Yeah You're not Helga

She is I am my girlfriend calls me Helga all the time I am Helga I'm like I love it I'm so much I'm gonna crush its head

You know that kind And the love seeking Like you will The romance is high Secret trine Very mean in person Okay interesting Yeah

And your Pinky and the brain Combined Yeah Wow And you Am I I think I like to think that I'm Spinelli

but I'm not Spinelli Oh my God No one's Spinelli Everyone says shout out No one's Spinelli Everyone thinks of this Yeah I guess I'm Gretchen I guess

No Thanks guys I'm TJ That's a show But not really What's the one Is it like Hey Ginger And she had a friend

Who was the Little Seal girl Hell I Wild Thorn Breeze Was that something else No but Wild Thorn Breeze is a slang Oh my God I forgot What's her name Eliza?

Eliza. Donnie, I know all their names I watch the film in the day. I like Eliza for you. I'm genuinely dating. I'm Donnie. I like Eliza for you. I like it. Wait, what's the dad called? Nigel Thorne. Nigel and Marion.

Oh, my God. I'm Nigel and Marion. Who is the dad? Who is Chucky's dad in Rugrats? Oh, Chad. Chad's my tie. I don't know. I'm Susie. I'm Susie from Rugrats. Oh, Susie. A hundred percent. Did you hear the theory about Rugrats? No. Oh no, I hate this, I hate this, I hate this.

Oh, no. They're adults. So Susie wrote it and the only person that exists in it is Angelica. Because Angelica is the only one that can talk to Susie and the babies and the adults. And Susie wrote it by friend Angelica who had schizophrenia from all the babies that died that she grew up playing with. And then Susie came into her life and wrote it as an adult looking back on her. very unwell friend. That's the truth.

What the voice... So it's the theory, but I wanted to see how that would work out. Well, we stopped breathing. If you want to go really dark, look up Rugrats fan theories. Because, like, how does Angelica communicate both ways? And it's like, it's about, like...

And then Susie comes into the mix. But the babies can talk. I thought it was a simple of that. But Susie doesn't talk with the babies, but she goes along with everything Angelica says and pretends because she wants her. friend to feel loved and included and then it's written from Susie's perspective and that's why Susie is able to write the babies I'll bet you they have

but is Angelica related to any of the babies she's a cousin of Tommy maybe that's the connection but Tommy died oh my god why do you keep saying it stop saying Tommy died stop saying it in in like I can't go through the whole like how they all died but all of them died I'll bet you want to do that Chuckie actually died in the car crash with his mum they all go so Angelica still played for them Hello? So are the parents dead as well? Hello!

Are the parents dead as well? No, they're grieving. So they're imagining. So it's like 222, a ghost story. Oh my God, what a slay of a reference. Actually, that is a spoiler. Yeah. Okay, we've been out for like three years.

Have you been in that yet? I've seen it, yeah. Oh, no, I was going to have you been in that yet? Oh, have I been in it yet? Um, no. Oh, you must. Fingers crossed, fingers. And me min'enel.

I'm going to go to hang around there. You want you to be in Blue Rememite Hills at the National Theatre. Oh my God. We've got to bring that back. An all female blue remembered hills. Yes. Yeah. The Olivier stage.

The Olivier. Because it's got to be in the round. It's got to be in the round. It's got to be in the round. It's got to be in the round. If I'm doing a show in the round, the Olivier plays. Yeah, that's a bit. Wonderful drum circle.

Gory. I used to know the guy that was in charge of the drum. Miss Hennessy could direct. Oh, Anne would be furious. Why? If Miss Hennessy directs, I feel like. They can co-direct. and doesn't share

so let me just stop you right there how about Sir Nicholas Lightner and Miss Hennessy together wonderful it's good to have a name it's good to have a name it's good to have a name Nicholas needs a name with them

oh my goodness wait we should actually do that I'm actually excited now do you want to do a play at the National with you guys I'd love to yeah that would be nice I think a genuine you know it ends up

with Lolly in a like what is having you so much. Paddling pool and we are Annie and fucking... They don't think there's a paddling pool and blue remember tails. But you know how it ends up. But it's going to end up. I'm all right. Come on. It's a bit of banter. It's having a bit of banter.

Kids did die though. In the fictional... Oh my God. That can't... That cannot be... Oh, they're dying all the time. This can't be the theme of the show. I wonder what the fan theory is on ghosts are. Oh, there's loads. Yeah. There are so many. I sort of really funny

tweet the other day that said I wasn't tagged. I was such. BBC ghosts to see people say. Yeah, yeah, it just said Kitty from BBC goes as a personality disorder which I thought was quite funny. Which one?

I think she just has what just has all of them. She's got a lot going on that girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's an optimist. Yeah, there's a lot of theories about there's a lot of people saying Kitty's a lesbian actually. Interesting.

Do you think that that was already in the character or that you found it during the show? I don't think she is a lesbian unfortunately actually maybe don't put that in because people get really crazy I'm actually yeah I'm canceling my subscription to the baby I think she's

I think she's just really straight because she's just so in that work like balls and men and stuff she fancies a lot of boys she fancies that boys just wants to go to little balls and have the thing is when you lie in bed at night even when you're a ghost

whatever you're frigging to that's in your mind you can't control it you know what I mean and whatever kitty's getting off on it's probably balloons realistically but whatever she is losing her mind too let her be

exactly she might like cake sitting as well she has that quality like a cake sitting king that's quite sick actually I'll tweet about it later we don't have done I've got the cake sitting one

nor I waste of a cake um Lolly how are you at giving advice really good actually and what kind of advice give her do you see yourself as what of the different types

well I tell the person exactly what I think they want to hear okay and that's not really advice that is me wanting to feel good sure and Helen catastrophizes on their behalf so that they sought advice

and now they have bigger problems okay I think I'm very level-headed fabulous I think all of us got five years left on this planet if David Attenborough is correct so let's fucking let's watch it burn Okay, well, that can be part of the play. Andrew, we have a problem from a listener.

Yes, who is it? Multiple, but we'll go for this one. Everyone's very troubled at the moment, actually. I think this is our first ever problem co-authored by a couple, MNP. Hi, MNP. Hi, M&P. A fucking MP, crazy. A member of parliament.

Do you have that an island or? No, okay. We've got a proud of it. President, I know that, yeah. All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you. No, um, but, fine.

Please stop. Okay. I beg you to stop. My partner and I are both writing this. While we both love you equally, it is only I, brackets, female 18, who is a patron member. So if love was a competition, I would win. Nice. Fabulous. Fabulous.

We are currently contenting with the prospect of a... Wait, who is the partner? What is their age and do we know anything else about them? Um, we don't know. Okay. I'm going to assume 60. Female, female. No.

Art teacher, art teacher. Yeah. Yeah. Art teacher, drama teacher. 60, Weymouth. Stop it. Stop it. Like a waymuth.

That was rogue. Um, we're both called Linda. It's so tired. We never learn a lesson being silly. This could be a very traumatic story. I know. I always do this. Yeah.

It's like really, really fun. It's going to be, fucking, it's going to be like a paddling pool drama, yeah. No, no, it's fairly light. Fairly. We're currently... We're currently contenting with the prospect of a long-distance relationship and are not sure how to approach it. For the past four years, we've been in very close proximity,

having attended the same high school, so it's difficult to imagine being apart. The advice thus far has to be to quit while we're ahead. But neither of us can see a future, bracket's long-term geriatric type, with anyone else. We've canvassed open relations. relationship stuff and whatnot, brackets, by the way, thoughts, question mark. We know how young we are and how naive we sound,

but have you ever done long distance successfully? How silly are we on a scale of one to ten? Any and all advice greatly appreciated. Cheers, big ears, all I love, M&P. Cheers big ears. They tried something. You've never tried something when you're young? Whoa, okay.

You are. Just say same goes long nose and let them have it. Yikes. houses. I'm sorry, but we have to just come on. Advice, please. Are you feeling comfortable? How young are they? Well, I guess they're both 18.

And if they've been to the same high school, I imagine they were 18. They've been together since they were 14. And do you know what the distance is going to be? Are we talking like a fleet to world a shot or are we talking like... That's not long distance for love. I'm going to guess we're talking two different UK-based universities. They've been together since they were 14, they're now 18.

So let's catastrophize this. Let's do the anti-Hebride. to Falmouth. Let's do St. Andrews and... Falmouth. I think it can't be that far because I think you'd know this is never going to work. Yeah.

I think it's probably a bit too close so you're hoping it's going to work. Yeah. There's ways of making it perfect. Because people always say long distance can't work, but then you watch all those war films

and they all come back and they're with the woman and they've been in sometimes with the brother. What's that film? When do they get with the brother? The girl gets with the brother. What's the film?

she gets with the brother because she thinks the husband's dead. And then he comes back. Before you'd be gutted. Her brother or his? She gets with his brother. Love relief. She thinks he's been like dead more. Because that'd be real desperate times if he was getting with him.

Oh, how embarrassing when he comes back. But why is the brother not at the war? That's the big question. Does he have an injury? Injury. Yeah. Shot himself and he could probably for attention. Yeah, I think that's the second.

Should we circle back to M&P? So M&P, tell us, Lolly. My thoughts are, see how you go. just see how you go if you get to uni and you're like I really fancy someone else you can nip it in the bud

okay oh so you think like I think try it out look around for better options because you could get to uni and be like there's no one else here it's dead everyone's a minger

everyone's a minger I'm so in love and then you'll be so excited to get back home in the holidays but I think don't write it off before you get there see how it goes

be open let the wind take you Have you ever done out a long-distance relationship? Not a long-term long-distance relationship, only for sort of three months at a time. Okay, and that's kind of what they'd be doing. Yeah, I guess so, yeah. But it's kind of, they're just seeing each other holidays.

It's not like they get a reprieve for a while. Yeah. Any advice on what makes it work? Um, I think the universe will sort of guide you. Fucking earth signs Fucking earth signs What are you like as an advice giver

Lolly, grounded, I'm so grounded. The world moves by itself and let us take it there. Grounded she said, she said she was grounded. Sorry, should we get the fire signs involved? Let's fucking go. Okay, I'll go first.

I genuinely believe the best way to do this is pretend that you're in a time before you would have spent all the time together before you would have lived together before marriage. I'd say, live like those people do when they're pretending

they're in the Victorian area. You know, people that always dress as Victorian clothing, have everything Victorian, and just constantly send letters and get pigeons that are trained to fly between the two universities. Simple, done, you have lovely time. And also, you've got a hobby together, you. If you break up now, you will constantly wonder,

you will put it on a pedestal, as I think that could have worked but for circumstance. What you need to do is let it play out and sort of rage out in a burning fire, which it probably will. but I hope it doesn't, but it probably will because you're 18. But they all stand very level-headed and reasonable,

which makes me think of, as soon as I said, I felt bad. But all 18-year-olds are now, all 18-year-olds, they're so like, yeah. I sort of, I was actually, see, I told him such a people-pleaser, I was trying to play up to hell in there, and actually, and I think it could work, but I don't think it works if you... I was saying it could work. I was saying, we go back to Victorian time, live like that, and, like, communicate through posts.

I don't think it works if you open their relationship. when you're also going long distance for the first time, like you've got all this trust and then to both be apart from each other, which is going to challenge that trust and add on a layer of and you can fuck whoever.

I think that'll, that sort of does a disservice to all that you've built and that you could open it up, but let's try the distance first. Get used to that and then you could open it up. See where your body takes you? If your body's saying, you know,

I'm in love with someone else, then go that way. I honestly grounded you said this is why in general something don't exist because it's just exhausting I shouldn't have told you I was working

everything's changed no no I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine handsome moon if that helps wait so we're all saying give it a go and we believe in you

you can't predict that it's not going to work out and if it does I will send you a pizza express voucher in three years in three years I'd say three years Yeah, if you make it

And it will only be like a tenor But don't put pressure on it, you know. Yeah, it's not worth it for the tenor. Yeah. Well, it depends on the peccatine you are. I am... The things I've done for a tenor, Jesus Christ, you know? I think either way...

Or I'll listen, I'll tell you about afterwards. I think either way it'll be good. I think either way it'll be good because I think if you do make it through, you'll have had opportunities to become, what are you two... What are you too giggling about? Why am I a teacher in this mode?

What are you two? Excuse me, Helen Bauer! I'm not going to be what are you gossiping about I don't know what I felt silly Sorry I'm sorry Do you have any more advice

Um Love is love Are you fucking kidding me Would you have said that if she had a boyfriend Love wins Fuck you guys In a world where you can be anything Be kind

Jesus Christ You forgot one It gets Better Yeah nice Okay A meal without wine It's called breakfast

Really not Love, Love. Pog Mahone. No, that's different. Isn't it like kiss my ass? Yeah, which isn't interesting. It's kind of like a saying, isn't it? Yeah.

Interesting. My other advice is, I think that you should, if you are going to, I actually like the idea of letter writing, by the way, but I do think that you need to find ways to have dates online. Bring to our online comedy shows. Outside is awful.

Don't sell these children tickets. Don't sell them tickets But if one of you were to buy them I think it should be the one who's not on Patreon Tell you what I think Nice online date thing If you're listening to this is probably like stand-up comedy 800 pound gorilla

They're like releasing loads of specials at the moment But they do like live watchalongs So like the amazing You know Harriet Kemsley We've had around before Everyone loves Harriet Kemsley Harry Kemsley special just came out on YouTube And it's free

And you can watch it But you can watch it live as it's going out and that's like a free accessible date for everyone to do long distance. That's cute. Isn't that nice? And there's loads of good specials on there. Or phone sex, but they're 18, so that gave me the creeps. But I wish you will.

You can do phone sex at 18. I don't think you're allowed. Are you not? I don't know they make phone calls 18 year old. Yeah, I think it's just for over 50s. That's true. Phone voice notes? Sex voice notes?

God, hell. Sex memes? Just like sex memes. We're hip. We're hip. We're down with it. A sex gift. Sex gift.

Just wanking over a gif like a three second loop. Start it again. Start it again. Start it again. I'm getting there. Start it again. That'd be tricky. Like for a three second gift to get you there.

You'd have to have that really weird. Yeah. Well, it depends on the, do you know what I mean? Like if you've got like a whole thing around it and you're holding your breath. I disagree actually. If you're in to boo. It's just quicker. It is. It is. It's quicker. It's so much quicker. And I always think of you. Morning to wake you off. Evening to go to bed.

Yeah. and we really appreciate you just telling your friends and tweeting about it or giving us a good review online would be amazing. But if you can't afford to, I think we have some pretty good benefits for pretty reasonable prices. I don't know why I'm selling this like it's a car. But we have, for three pounds, you get early access to the episode and you get access to our Discord, which as you know, I feel to be a perverts forum. Nonetheless, it seems like the hogs enjoy it, discussing what we're up to and talking about the pod. So that sounds nice, unless you're me, in which case it sounds disconcerting.

Weekly extras for five pounds, you get an extra whole episode. Five pounds is basically a coffee in London, or if you live elsewhere, probably a cinema ticket, good God, I should need to move out of the city. The point is, five pounds you get weekly extras, and there's also a backlog of 105 extra episodes that you can listen to. That's pretty good value. For 10 pounds, you get access to our live show recordings. For 20 pounds, you get a producer credit, you get merch,

you get a producer mug, right, Andrew? Oh, my God. Okay, so for £50, you get to be an executive producer, and as you know, have full access to the lounge. And by that, I mean a personalised episode for your enjoyment. Yes, there's lots of stuff. It's all at patreon.com for slash trusty hogs. All prices are exclusive of your local VAT rates.

And I've also remembered, we also have trusty vlogs on Patreon. So for every single level, starting at £3,000, you can access our zoo vlog. You can access our Edinburgh vlogs. And that's available to any Patreon supporter of any level. Is VAT localised? It is indeed yes So if you're in the UK

You're paying 20% If you're in Saudi Arabia I believe nothing If you're a Patreon From Saudi Arabia Per country rather than It's not like Swindon's paying Different VATA to it

No yeah per country It's great book to your country Gosh we live we learn We join our Patreon Patreon Patreon Patreon com forward slash trusty hox

people are going to ask so I'm asking for them where's your suit from? Ganny. Of course it is. Do you want a spray of this? What's that? What do you say no? Violet and Bergamont body spray Ted Baker. Thank you. Lovely. Thank you. That's lovely. Carry on with the podcast.

All right. Thank you. What foundation are you wearing? I'm wearing concealer, juvias place concealer. All over? Do you view as place a concealer And under my eyes, NAR's concealer Wow, gorgeous

Thank you Gorgeous, okay Do you think the audience Will have any other questions for? Brass eyes 38G I had a breast reduction Did you?

Yeah When? Three years ago Congratulations Two years ago, congrats Can I ask what size you were before? Unquantifiable Seriously?

No way! Yeah. Well, to get reduced to a G is quite, quite a bread. Can you take the weight of mine and tell me if you think I'm in, like, I think I want to get out of touch at some point. I think I was big, yeah, or similar. This is a double J. I was, I was K. I think I was above a K, actually. Oh, how's the spinal column? Weirdly, I didn't get back pain that much, but everything else was terrible. Do you feel? Do you feel? Helen, you can't just, Helen, we have to be like, so. what, where's your suit from? What by nation are you wearing? So, like, what was your previous nibbling? Favorite tooth? Favorite tooth?

People want to know. Two-front-tee. So cute. You do? Low? A little gal. Yeah, you both have such cute little gal. So cute.

Do you ever just breathe through it for entertainment? Yeah, once I got a hair clip stuck in it. No. Oh. I was doing my hair and I put a clip in my head. No. I was doing that and then it got stuck. Yeah. Did you panic?

Yeah, because I pulled and I didn't come out. And I had to take it slow, but in the beginning I was just sort of yanking. Yeah, sort of torture. Oh my God. So you've recovered well from the surgery? Yeah. That's amazing. Whoa.

You're a fucking freak. What? You're a fucking freak, love. I don't believe in breast reduction. They're anti-my community. Yes, fair enough. You know that 30 rock quote, like, I don't need, I don't need the meat,

I just need a lift. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's good stuff, isn't it? Yeah, ha ha ha ha ha. Have you had a nice time? I've had a time. Yeah. That means yes, loved it. I took that as a hell yes.

Yeah, I've had a one for time. Just too grounded to enjoy. Where can people find you? Um, Instagram. Fabulous. What's your handle? Lolli adipope. Fabulous.

They can watch ghosts. They can watch Ghosts. What else can they watch? Mission Impossible. Shrill. Mission Impossible. Shill. Oh my God.

I love Shrill so much. It was so good. So good. This is so come from for each time. Thank you. Sorry, I was going to see if I could get a tuck up. And you got to smooge somebody really hot, which is exciting. I will.

You got to smooch somebody very hot intro. Who? Many. Yeah, but. Don't, don't. Let's not rate them. Oh, sure. Wow.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Okay. Do you have anything to promote? Do you have any shows?

Are you live shows? No. Are you DJs? So good. I don't have a current DJ date in the calendar. Oh, did they cancel you? Because nobody could sing along. No, no.

Did they say that was it? Did they say, oh, sorry. Can I please come next time? Of course you can. When is the show at the Olivier? That was talking 20 to 25, I think. Right, okay. Gorge.

Yeah, because we've got to get rehearsals and casting everything. Frankenstein's coming back, you see. I'm going to wait for that. And then off. Okay. John Lee Miller, Benedict Camabatch. Yeah. Mottero Lange.

and then we'll probably be straight in on the round because usually they do it in like rotation shows but we're just going to see what happens. Fantastic. Fantastic. Wow. So good to talk to you. Can't wait to have you back in with Miss Hennessy.

Catherine, are you doing any shots? I'm going on tour and I think you know it. Wow. I would love to hear a little bit more about it. My show was called Again with Feelings and I'm going to loads of places. Lots of places.

They're all on my website, Catherine AboutHart.com. I'd expect you all would be on that website right now. It's less than two on page. I'd love if you were, I sent such long newsletters. So if you've made it through those, fair play. And if not, don't worry about it.

I say just book tickets for banter. That's what I would do. Book tickets for bantor. Give them where's Christmas gifts to people. Lovely. That'd be nice. I was just saying this. For like queers who you don't know what to get,

send them to me. Great. Queers, you don't know what to get. You've already bought the socks. You've already engaged in the hobby. Just send them to me. If you're all into woodworking now, buy them a plane or a saw or something.

Those are really expensive. It'll be cheaper to get tickets to me. Yeah, same thing. Yeah. Thanks so much. much. Thank you so much. A lollia at a phone bay. Everybody, write about applause.

Thank you so much to our executive producers. Guy Goodman, Simon Moors, Mary, Fox, Annie Tonner, Sarah Hartke, Deakin, Oliver Jago, Anthony Conway, and Matthew Thomas. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Out of the executive land, but into a VIP area, nonetheless. It's our producers.

Thank you so much to Richard Bingle, L, Richard Bald, Neil Redmond, Victoria Hutchison, Harold Van Dyke, Tim and Dom, David Walker, Rachel R, Saby Cashmore, Owen Jones, Jess and Nick, Zoe, Sarah and Molly Ria Fink, Cordelia, Rachel Page, Helen A, Tina Lindsay, Graham Marsh, Amy O'Reardon, Abby, Worf, Key Webb, Matt Sims, Luke, Luke, Leigh, Kate Spencer, Tristan, Liz Forge, Tass, Clow, Becky Fox, Emily G, Dean Michael, Glenys Wood, Stephanie, Stephanie, Sophie Chivers, Mark, Anthony. I always have to split those two up. Carrie Sooth and Charlie A. Thank you so much. At Arizona State University, we're bringing world-class education from our globally acclaimed faculty to you. Earn your degree from the nation's most innovative university online.

That's a degree better. Learn more at asuonline.asu.org.org.