Trusty Hogs - Ep107. MAILBAG SPECIAL

Episode Date: November 9, 2023

We delve (reply to two emails) into the Trusty inbox this week for another infamously inefficient Mailbag Special! We got some lovely updates that we are always so grateful to hear and of course went off on a million tangents and anecdotes...TICKETS: TRUSTY HOGS LIVE IN LEICESTER (10th FEB)Thank you so much for listening!Support us at https://www.patreon.com/TrustyHogs for exclusive bonus content, merch, and more!Trust us with your own problems and questions... [e-mail] give us a follow @TrustyHogs on all socialsBe sure to subscribe and rate us (unless you don’t like these little piggies - 5 Stars only!)Thank you to our Patreon supporters...EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Guy Goodman / Simon Moores / Mary Fox / Annie Tonner / Sarah Deakin / Oliver Jago / Anthony Conway / Matthew Thomas / Madeline QuinnePRODUCERS: Richard Bicknell / Elle / Richard Bald / Neil Redmond / Victoria Hutchison / Harald van Dijk / Tim & Dom / David Walker / Rachel R / Sadie Cashmore / Claire Owen-Jones / Jess & Nick / Zoë / Sarah & Molly / Raia Fink / Cordelia / Rachel Page / Helen A / Tina Linsey / Graham Marsh / Amy O'Riordan / Abbie Worf / Kie Web / Matt Sims / Luke Bright / Leah / Kate Spencer / Tristin / Liz Fort / Taz / Klo / Becky Fox / Emily Gee / Dean Michael / Glenys Wood / Stefanie Catracchia / Sophie Chivers / Marc / Anthony / Carey Seuthe / Charley AWith Helen Bauer (Daddy Look at Me, Live at the Apollo) & Catherine Bohart (Roast Battle, Mock the Week, 8 Out of 10 Cats)FOLLOW HELEN, CATHERINE & ANDREW...@HelenBaBauer@CatherineBohart@StandUpAndrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I have a new radio show called Catherine Bowhart, who runs the world, a comedy show about women in politics. Yes, that's possible. It took some work, but it's possible. Please listen. The second episode is out this Sunday at 715 on BBC Radio 4, and you can catch up on the first episode on the BBC website. Oh my God. Yeah, they look great. Do you have a new brown? No, but... Are you due on? No. Okay. Oh my God. Yeah, no, they're rugged. They're like so round today. They really are. And they look higher somehow? Are they higher?

Maybe they're higher. Have you tightened the straps? No, they're still loose. It's a V-Nex t-shirt, which maybe is, maybe you've just noticed them because you're not wearing a Disney jumper. Either. Okay.

No, I just mean like, it's hard. You can't really appreciate them when the, look, I'm just saying when the girls aren't out, they're not going to get me praise. I don't know. Every now and again, I just sort of like remember that they're spectacular. That I have amazingly big breasts.

And it's just like, I imagine it's the same if you've got a big pair of balls and you just sort of like constantly and you're like No? The only thing I will say And yeah, I'm sure it is the same as having big balls Except that you don't constantly sit on your boobs That's somebody else's just

That's like to look forward to Give me 20 years My My question is Could you stop because I think you're like Two more squeezes away from turning yourself on again And I When we can't get a podcast

done. We can't get it done. I had the biggest wank class night. Oh my God, can we? Hello and welcome to episode 107 of trusty hogs, the podcast where, yeah, I guess we tell you about our freaking perfect lives and our giant wangs. And then we talk to a guest

or in this case today, we do a mailbag special because we're late on replying to so many of our listeners' problems and we're very excited to. But first, let's find out why Helen Bauer had such a big whank last night because regardless of whether or not I ask her, she will be telling me through the fog

step forth the trusty hogs yeah you're gonna give you problems and they will solve them or maybe they won't

and that's your problem they'll have guests and Andrew White on the tech oh it's Helen and Catherine and the trusty hogs trust the trusty

hogs or me Helen Mower. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello, Catherine. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello. I was listening to a short history of podcast about the Magna Carta. Oh my God. King John was bad. Yeah, no doubt. Like, oh my.

Is he the one that's in Robin Hood? Yes. Yes. Very good reference. Yeah. I was listening to History of the Magna Carta to go to sleep to. High high taxes. High.

But Catherine, he starved people to death. Goutge people for that, yeah, horrendous. There were like, there were these French soldiers, which I wouldn't fucking feed them either. Fucking French. But no, shout to our French. All they need is a little bit of bread and cheese, a petit per. What's cheese and frommage?

Formage. A petit bit foames for me. They were in jail and like Solisbury and they escaped. And he was like, ah, to starve them. And it's like, that's just, just shoot them, you know? Yeah, you... Like, be quick with... Awful man.

So I was listening to that. Wait, do they have bullets then? No, but arrows. Yeah, okay, got used to. The OG bullet, the arrow. Am I right? I'm not wrong. I'm not wrong, Andrew.

So I was like, listening to that. Sorry, I'm confused. Bullets. Do we mean with guns are not... We're not back to your wank. No. So the wank's coming. So I was like listening...

I've got that a bit late. Uh-huh. So listening to the history of the Magna Carta. which is, it's interesting, but it's like, it's not interesting enough, right? So I was like, falling asleep, but it wasn't really happening. And then I was like, God, I haven't had a wank. Where have I wanked today?

Oh my God, I haven't wanked in like two days. Is two days long for you to go? Yeah. So I started like, just like rubbing the clear. Just like just being like, oh, is there anything there? Like, do we have anything? Helen, your mother listens to this podcast sometimes. No, not all the time.

Well, are you trying to, try to talk me how to whank. So anything, shout out, Ambauer. Thank you for all the tips. You're right. The best one I ever have, will. be myself. My mom used to say that and also my mom used to talk about okay we, I know you say palm here

but we say Pam and she used to always talk about Pam and her five sisters are your best friends. What? Pam. Yeah. And her five sisters. I bet. Oh my. Thank you mother. Thank you so much. But she's not wrong. In England we just used the two. Oh my God. Maybe Irish women you've got bigger like

scrubbing away. I'm so sorry. That was really, that was weird. Did you just say my... Is it the roundabout way of saying my mother has a giant fanny? Yeah, well, sort of like a clip that needs to be scrubbed, not wrapped. It's a difference between... What's wrong with her? How dare you? You're going to meet her next May and you'll have to be sorry. And I cannot wait.

She doesn't listen to this. She'll be charmed by me. I could hardly expect her to do. Oh my God, people... Shout out to both of our moms, obviously. Obviously. Shout out. Shout out. Back twanking?

Shout out to her mom. So then I was like, I just gave it a little rub and I was like, oh my God, I'm fucking... I'm fucking steaming. I'm ready to go. But I was like, well, I'm not going to get my laptop and get any porn up. I'm just going to, I'm already in bed, right? So I just like went pure imagination. We have a new producer, Alex, with whom you just keep making constant, intense eye contact.

To make him feel welcome. And it's crazy. If I'm looking at him, he doesn't feel like he's a person. It just feels crazy on this story to be so intensely locking eyes when Alex is just trying to do his job. Sorry, Alex. I'm your co-host. Look at me. Look at me.

Who am I? Look at me. You're Helen. Me. Yeah. Okay. Look at me. don't quit Andrew put a lot of effort

finding you please no he didn't they're childhood friends you found the phone shut up don't make more think when we're working to this okay

so I'm rubbing away imagination but I just like it just takes me longer to get there because I'm like half the Magna Cart is still playing and then I'm trying to get there

and then King John starving people and it's hard to like people like do you know what I mean why don't you turn off the podcast so it was a long I did eventually but I already started and you've got to get your hand over it's a whole Catherine

please. And you've got to remember I'm sleeping on the floor at the moment because I broke my broke my bed. That's not easy. Why did you say it like a tongue twister? Broke my bed, broke my bed, broke my bed, broke my bed, broke my bed, broke my bed, broke my bed, broke my bed, broke my bed, broke my bed. It's not that hard, you know. Central School of Sputian Drama. Thank you so much for having me. Royal Central. I'm not a royalist, but I will say Royal Central School's, I fucking hated that place. Alumni, Catherine Bowhart. Good God. But I also won't go to any of their alumni events because I don't enjoy them. I didn't enjoy it. But shout out to Judy. Anyway. I came. I came.

I came. I came. But it was like, it was a long journey. So like I think what in what has been the opening of this podcast I don't think I could turn myself on right now because I've drained I've drained myself. What's it cool when you like drain the custard shooter? Like you know when it's like you're like a spot. Why are you like this? I think I'm running on zero. Drain is the word. You don't need another

more disgusting version of drained. We love to see our women satisfied in the year of our Lord 2023. We love to. I could see less of it if the it is you being satisfied to be honest, may I say? I could. I woke up this morning, happy. That's what we all wanted.

It is to be fair. And I'm in a good mood too. Why are you in a good mood, Kathleen? Oh God, it's the worst reason ever. You're going to be so annoyed. It's exercise class. No, it's not that. Okay. I went to, I just went out in the sun this morning for a walk and I haven't done that in ages. So good. And I was like, fuck. This is annoyingly helpful.

Was their sun in North London? Yeah. And I just thought. I thought, that's why I went because I was like, shit, that's, it might be raining in an hour, let me go. Because I do need to get a sad lamp. But can I say, the idea of walking into a shop, because I probably need advice, but the idea of walking into a shop

and asking for a sad lamp for my sad little life for a sad little woman, it's just so bleak. You buy it online. But I don't know which kind. I will send you a link to the one I have. I've got one that's like sad lamp, so it does the bright lights for like the vitamin D light endorphine effect. And it's also gone infrared.

setting which can like help in the evening just like wind you down for the day help with stress levels so like it's got both like you want that and like yes they can go up and prices the way to top you don't need a really really expensive one i don't know if ellen will let me have it in the new house because she has like no ugly things rule she only lets me have out things that she thinks oh i'm sorry is a woman's good mental health ugly um i think so i think she actually likes me oh my god although i want a battle i want a battle we okay so the reason i'm still moving house by the way. I know this has been taking centuries, is that the house that we're moving into needs work. And so she's doing this two week build. By the way, she keeps saying the weirdest shit.

Last night I was like, do you need me to help her stay? And she was like, I actually really need to be alone right now because it's like very special time. And I was like, what? And she's like, I just, I just need to like drink my beer and like sand the walls. It's like quite like special to me. And I was like, she's like communing with the walls. It's so crazy. But she like likes getting inside the walls. She's like taking all the crap off the wall. wall, taking the things on the end of the walls off. What are they called? Skirting.

Thank you so much. And I don't know. She's just like, she really wants to have like fixed everything to make a perfect. In the rental property. Yeah. She's going inside the walls. The woman is, because the place is, to be fair, it's a beautiful, but it's old. And she is doing this two week build.

She has a schedule, all of which I love, except that I'm not in control, so I hate. She's notebooking me is what she keeps saying, basically. What's notebooking? Well, because I was like, I could. live here if certain things changed and now she's like come up with a huge plan to do it make it exactly how I want it except with her own she's notebooking me if you know in the notebook

she's like I want a white house with like blue okay vaguely I haven't seen it in years well it's like that if he were like I will give you a yellow house to my own specifications and none of your choices will be involved so it's that and I am excited to see it

and she's making lots of hot content that she won't put online because she's not online so I will put it up Like builder's stuff. Yeah, she's like filming yourself. Like ass hanging out. No, she, coughing out dust.

No, she wears some ass. Fleming everywhere. No, no. You know that hot builder content? No, it's more like lesbian and Dickie's boiler jumpsuit doing, a boiler suit doing lots of DIY. It's actually very exciting. Yeah, it's a good time.

But all of this is to say that I had to win. I don't know if she's exhausted from the sheer physical effort of it all. But the other day, as a joke, because she hates, and I mean hates my, colour-coded books in my house. So as a joke... We all have problems with them. As a joke, she was like,

whatever you do, they're not going that way. So I was just like bringing her books down from into the new office and putting mine in. And as a joke. Wait, what is happening here? So we have two rooms. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

One of them's going to be an office. One of them's going to be in office. One, okay. Or Helen's room. Oh, no, it's going to have a blow up bed for Helen, of course, of course, of course. Order bed if the patrons don't donate enough. But wait, so

I am bringing a the books and I just thought, oh, it'll be funny if she comes in and all the books are color-coded. It took me so much longer than I expected. For a funny joke. That classic Catherine prank. I'm going to color-code everything. Zing!

You've been zinged by a woman with OCD and mental health problems. I've color-coded the bookcase. Zing! Oh, and how we laughed. Fucking hell. Wait. Well, wait, you're missing the point. She was singed.

She was singed. She was horrified and laughed. And then I laughed so much. which then I cried. After three hours of work, worth it. But I did, and I laughed till I cried

to so much. But then she liked it. How is that funny? I don't get it. I want to be support for this. But that's just not funny. Because you show is going to breathe.

You're crying. Zinged, they're all red on the top shelf. How did you know? No, it's because her face is her face. She was so annoyed. She was so annoyed and it really made me laugh. Anyway.

Mental health jokes are the funniest. Oh, but then she let me keep it. Oh, good. I won. Three hours in. Oh, okay. Well, I really, you have to be there. Are you okay?

You're genuinely crying. was it genuinely okay no I'm sure it was really lull sorry I really just realized who I am who God yeah just now

when you're like I really she really did laugh whew okay sorry well so you had a big wank it's so mad to me that you are figuring out

these things about yourself as we go along you're okay We're just fanning her down with pig coasters. You're okay, darling. I think I need a second. So that must have been so funny. And then,

it's just, what I'm trying to say with love is usually, like, people do things like, hide behind a door and jump out, you know? But this was scary because she hates it. Forget it. I took the curtains down, washed them and put them back up.

But watch out! No, but it's the opposite. It's in my... I didn't clean the fridge. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. No, but she hates it. It was like a jump scare. Yeah.

And then the sweet panic. She really panicked that all of our books were mixed up. It's like I'd like married her in her sleep. You know that kind of way? Catherine, I'd love you to play a prank on me. I've got a lot of stuff that needs to be done at my flat. Please. I'll come right to prank your flat.

Are you excited to having a new flat to decorate the Christmas time? Wow, I cannot breathe. I would get you an inhale but I haven't got time No look obviously this is like really difficult As a challenge for a person with OCD Moving into a house with other people Yeah but you can get you can decorate for Christmas

Is that exciting? Oh god What is it with me? You're just very emotional from the being seen You haven't quite laughed like that Since do you remember that conversation we had Outside of the Dean Street Elizabeth line

Oh my God Because you said that goes to the context of it. Oh, it's because you said my brother is my parents' favorite sibling, which makes sense because he's sensible and has a good job and lives near home and I'm crazy.

It's because he's an easy race. That's what it was. And it also made sense. Oh my God. All of this is to say, I'm almost done moving. But are you excited to decorate a new house for Christmas?

So excited. I think that's the most exciting thing about moving is being like, oh, I can now do this way. I'm very excited to unpack. That's the bit I'm really, I love unpacking has been the most stressful experience of my life.

Holding things and putting them neatly But finding houses for clothes, little homes for shoes, little spaces for trinkets. I can't wait. That's a one. It's really exciting. Yeah, I love to put my trinkets out. I have a biscuit in, well, like a, it's like porcelain biscuit dish, I guess, cookie jar. That was in my granddad's house for my dad's whole life.

So it's almost 100 years old, he thinks. Stop it. That's so nice. That's an Irish thing. Yeah, it is. I didn't realize it was until I saw, you know that guy, is it Garin? you shared him the other day. Garin, he's so funny.

So funny. It's like Instagrammer and like I watched one of his videos. I think it was him and it was like, how do you say you're Irish without like telling them? And he was like this, he held up a biscuit dinner when this is a sewing kit. Yes, yes. But like we had that in my house growing up as well

and we're not fucking Irish. No, but it's like that start with you guys. But it's like it's a sewing kit. It's a like first aid kit. It's also the place where. where we keep all the, it's a medicine tin, it's a, like, it's everything. Just biscuit tins are everything.

Oh, it's biscuit tins all around the house with multiple purposes. For my trinkets, um, I met. So I've got like my grannies, my mum's mums, like, you know those like glass sets that people used to have? And it's like, candle stick. Sorry, I couldn't hear you about it. Because it's so lame. And I will be calling Ellen up in the break about this.

And it's like got all the trinkers on it. And then in Leeds last week, I met a couple of lovely listeners. So I met the year before it leaves, and they do have some gifts for all of you from them as well. But I'll do that in the extras. Which city limits? No, Hyde Park Book Club.

Love Hyde Park Book Club. But I did promo your show at the end of mine because the night before I was in York and your show had gone on sale that day. Thank you, Angel. And I got to the end of it and I was like, oh, there's good thing else. And then I was like, I couldn't think, couldn't think, couldn't think.

I think I think I plugged the podcast. And then lovely Al who runs those venues who's also doing your tour up there. like ran towards the stage with a piece of paper being like Catherine Bohart on sale now this venue and I was like oh yes yes I'm what a nice man no that's so nice so you have been plugged up there

but um that's not how I'd phrase that not in the cunt what no one thinks plug and then cunt no butt isn't it yeah it's definitely but okay you've been plugged in us in a work way unless it's your work vibe in which case

slay but I was I got given a trinket dish by an audience member and it was, okay, the box was Disney, Mary Poppins. Oh, for the love of God. And I was like, already just like, blah, blah, blah. And it's Mary Poppins umbrella upside down and it's a china dish for trinkets of Mary Poppins umbrella. How charming.

That is charming. I'm charmed. And then I polished it and went, ha, ha, ha, ha, you've been pranked. Yeah. Sorry. Shall we get into the mail bag? I'd love to.

Oh, speaking of things that people have sent into us, can I say this? No one needs to send me the Amsterdam dad blowjob story again. Thank you so much to all of the listeners who did. Multiple people sent me a video being like, you and Helen will love this. And it's the story, it's a series of voices.

I've seen it. Oh my God. And listen, thank you, yes. Yes. Did I enjoy it? Yes. But like, did I expect a hundred people I don't know to send me a story? Quick summation, if you haven't heard it,

It's basically a woman telling a story about how she was on a, like, joined Staggin'Hen in Amsterdam. This girl gets really drunk on the, the bride to be gets really drunk on, is that right? No, no, someone on the Hendon. Someone on the Hendon gets really drunk. Goes to one of those peeping, like, peep holes. Okay, you go to the toilet and it's like at Amsterdam Club. So the toilet has a glory hole. Thank you.

And she's like, oh, okay, like, on holiday, like, I'm really fucked like drunk. Like, why not? So, like, opens it. Dick comes through and goes like, aha, okay? Like, why not? Start snoshing it off. Yeah. Okay. And then they come out of the toilet. No, no, no, no, that's not it. There's an option to press a button if you want to see the... That's it. They both press the button and it's her dad.

And then everyone has to go home because trauma. Yeah. And thank you so much for that. But I've now heard it, I'd say, enough. Enough now. I feel like whenever there's a trend on Instagram that, like, ticks one of the boxes of things we talk about. Like, I get Disney videos, like the same one, like five times. And then at the moment, I get the... And then seven months later I send it to you

and you're like, for Foxxike, learn how to use Instagram? At the moment, are you getting the one of like, you know, the grandma singing on the piano and the little Muppet coming in? Like, could she be any cuter? Andrew's nodding, I'm not because we're called him Nannelan, Nanlan. We're not on the same Instagram. No, no, no, no.

Andrew, today is a mailbag special. Indeed. Yay! Do you want to tell us any updates? We have updates. we have comments, we have stories, we have everything. The mailbag is overflowing. Okay, great.

I'm only open to comments if they're compliments. Oh yes, no, I screen and delete anything negative. Don't worry. May I just say it? There's been a lot of negativity lately. Do people email in negative comments? Very rarely, very rarely. Of course they do.

Well, have you not seen their reviews? People don't always like us. Can you please leave us nice reviews? Because if you're leaving a nasty review on a free product, you're fucking mad. You're also mean. Forward me the nasty emails I'd love to respond

I don't want any of those I deliberately not only bin them I also delete them forever so that we cannot touch them I actually don't have the login for the email do you? Yeah Oh

Was that a group choice No I think you would send it Hello I think you were sent it Oh I've lost it I'll re-send it to you Okay

But it's very very very red Generally people are very very lovely And that is a good reminder though If you're on Apple podcast Please leave us a five star review And on Spotify Why not You can't have yours, but we...

Oh, no, but they can leave us stars. Can they? I didn't know that. Yeah, we've got like 800 reviews. Well, there we go. Thank you. I'm so glad somebody is producing this podcast. But write nice ones on Apple. Thank you.

People write mean ones on Apple, mainly about me. They don't like me. Well, it used to be mean about me and now it's shifted. Do you remember like the beginning days? Yeah. It's awful. I think it's okay. She's not shrill.

She's Irish. I'm sick of saying it. If you like, we can start with a very nice, earnest, one to sort of... We'll take it. Also, it genuinely is fine. I think just when you're having a bad day already and you're like, whoa, this isn't a compulsory listen. Like, we're not playing it in

your ears without you choosing. You don't have to listen. It's okay. We're loves. Also, both of us do you need to work on when we're having a bad day already? Yeah, I like to go punish myself online. Go on, Andrew. And then crazy pranks. Yeah, this might be a very

earnest handbreak term, but I think it's a nice one to just remind you both that you are loved broadcasters. Thank you. Wow. We're both fine and well. We don't have that massive... No, but it is hard to like... God, oh my, I'm not going to moment. You're all tremendous.

This is from C. Hi, C. Hi, C. Hi, C. I see you. This is very much a thank you. And this is from C, a bit of pre-stuff that's not relevant. And then I hope you'll forgive me as this message is going to be long and somewhat heavy.

Well, we know they're one of our listeners. Let's go. For context, I've suffered from some serious mental illnesses and disorders for the past 13 years. I left school at 14 due to these issues and basically ended up removing myself from the world as I couldn't bring myself to leave the house. I could barely interact with people, even my parents and my sister, without having a panic attack. Despite this, however, there was a part of my soul that desperately craved friendship and joy, acceptance and understanding. For 10 years, I deprived myself of all of these things and I suffered.

badly because of it. And then one day, a couple of years ago, you started a podcast. And I realized that I both wanted and deserve more than what I'd been letting myself have. However, with a hell of a lot of therapy and medication, I'm slowly building confidence and I'm beginning to somewhat reintroduce myself to society and the outside world. I also recently realized that I owe quite a bit of this new self-confidence to this podcast. Stop. I saw two people who could identify with, who I could identify with who were living their lives and pursuing careers and building friendships despite not being perfect and I thought to myself maybe I can live my life I knew that was good at Andrew this might be for a different partner no this is for us I think

somebody sends this to the wrong email because Catherine is perfect thank you so much go on we share our perfect lives and I thought to myself maybe I can live my life it was like an epiphany in Helen I saw someone who is so confident and sure of themselves I saw someone who's not afraid to take up space. I'm also quite a big glass with a big bosom. Yes, see! Yes, girl! Would you like the specific bus measurements?

It's been offered. Yes! 38 KK bus. Fuck off! Oh, girl! For years, I felt so... Jesus Christ! That has to be a slow reintroduction to the world.

The world is not ready. That's amazing. Wow. Holy shit. Whoa. It's a bouncy castle. That's amazing. Congratulations.

On the bright side, you don't even have to have a personality when you're right there. My God, I'll do anything you say. For years, I felt self-conscious about my height and size, and I still do sometimes. Even as a child, I was afraid to insert myself into conversations or conflicts, as I felt people would feel uncomfortable. Helen, however, showed me that I can be big and bold and to own who I am. I can be powerful and stand out, and if people don't like it, then fuck them. Yeah.

In Catherine, I saw someone who, whilst not necessarily having the same diagnoses, has gone through some similarly awful experiences with their mental health, yet has been able to learn to coexist with them. At least from an outside perspective... I've actually turned them into a kind of a prank thing now. Such a fucking loser. It's kind of a prank vibe from me now, so...

Zing! At least from an outside perspective, I see how she has learned to work with them and how she does not let them stop her from living her life. She seems to be able to use her needful, for perfection and control to both organize her life, her self-care and her career, whilst also caring for others. Oh, it's still tanks a day

once a week. Don't worry, my love. It's still real hard, so go on. I see someone who, despite having things go tits up and fighting against her, is still able to live the life she deserves. For me, watching your podcast is like having a sleepover with my best buds. The rambling conversations where you start chatting

and all of a sudden it's four hours later, and you've somehow talked about everything from what you want for tea to your deepest, most innermost feelings. Lastly, I don't think I could have been able to have written this letter, which is probably embarrassing, long and full of errors. It's heaven. It's so nice.

It's so nice. It's, yeah, it's very lovely. Sorry, without the warmth, kindness and acceptance that the two of you, Andrew and M, and everyone else involved with this podcast, has shown to both one another and all of us listeners. Everyone else. It's like she knew we had a new Alex. This is so good.

I once again ask you to forgive me for this obnoxually long letter, but I just feel I needed to let you know how much you have helped, not only me, but so many others with your podcast. A very thankful hug, see. You don't have to ask for forgiveness for sending in a lovely message. That's so nice.

But I think I said this the other night on our YouTube gig or Zoom gig. I don't think anybody starts listening to our podcast on a good day. No one's like, you know what I'm thriving? Let me check it out. Everyone's like, I was in the worst possible mindset I could have ever.

The worst day of my life. life I picked up so genuinely actually fine great fucking great I'm glad that we can help from your auntie Catherine and your auntie Helen we're very proud of you so proud of it's not easy to get back out into the world once you've left it but good for doing it's so hard it's tricky but you're doing it and it's just like one day at a time yeah and also like your retreat can remain a safe like place you can as in like I have to disappear for a couple days every now and then and I don't always It doesn't always go.

I know it's crazy because I am perfect but I, no, look, I'm obviously like struggling. And like say, for example, moving house is, wow. And being an introvert is not a negative thing. No, but also like you're trying, you're doing it. This is so exciting. I can't believe that all of you, let me start that podcast with my hair pinned the way it was.

That's what I was also thinking, but I'm a trash bag. And my brain never shuts up. But I fixed it. now, so prank's on you. And thank you, too. And thank you, see. That really made me a moj.

Are you feeling okay? No, I've just got watery eyes. Yeah? Yeah. It's okay. You can take up space. That's what you taught us all. We're allowed to take up space.

I love you. Hey, that's really nice because I think if you are hard on yourself, what I was trying to say earlier is not that like, it's so nice that people listen, but it's really hard not to hear the complaints or the negativity as the loudest thing, even though it's just like one guy. So it's so nice. That's really gorgeous and beautifully put.

Yay. Also, this podcast has helped me. Christ alive. Your confidence is like even to the most like resistant. So infectious and contagious.

It's helped me too. Oh my God. Sorry. This podcast has helped me too. Why? Because we pay for your new bed. Yeah. And Mexico.

All right. Mexico. Mexico. My apology. Yo, soy, Helen. Then, por favor, how do you say next in Spanish? Sigendo. Siyendo.

Sigendo. Sigendo. Sigendo. Like, Sigi. Yeah. Sigendo. Sigendo. Por favor.

Grazie. Alex also speak Spanish. Oela, Alex. Come's da? This is from Hannah. I love how you said he also. And for it also to be true. Like three of us.

Full in Spanish. speakers. Estoy crazy. Estoy low-curring. Oh, boy. Wow. You want to, we can speak French. No?

Okay, well, as a sort of palate cleanser sounds unkind, but as something a bit different before we get into some more problems. Let's start that again. Yeah, thank you. That's 2920. Thank you for, that was a slight angry.

So as we got, before, we go into another problem and an update we'll just have this is a little fun thing in the middle this is from Hannah who says last Friday I went to a medium evening and genuinely a pig how come it wasn't very good ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

zing I'm so sorry I'll be kind why do you sometimes I'm like why do you not just why do you podcast with me were like do you want to be friends I just think we just travel through the life so differently.

It's just like, we've got such a different sense of you. It's very pleasing. Sorry, God, I love you. I love you so much. You're a good guy. Thank you for only touching me on my clothes. I'm not my skin.

Okay, we're ready, Andrew. What's this? This is an update? No, no, it's a crazy thing. It's Hannah. We'd like your thoughts and reactions. Oh, fabulous. Went to a medium evening

and genuinely a page. came through. Huh? A woman in her 70s used to have one pig each year they'd raise and eat for Christmas dinner and the medium guy came out with it. It was intense. How did he know?

Well that'll be the single most identifiable thing about that woman. You think so? Very different reaction. No, the pig spirit came through. If she has any online presents the pig thing will be her whole thing. It's a 70 year old woman, surely she doesn't have her. Andrew, I have an online presence. A 70 year old woman could well have an online presence.

Perfect. You're just shutting. down the possibility of a medium okay they're very real things so Neil had access to one yesterday and he didn't take it so many scams are done by mediums so many but not the proper ones pigs spirits present themselves as and when they choose so the pig spirit probably thought well you know we're coming up to that time of year where I would have been slaughtered I'm feeling very like I need to say my peace wait so if pigs can come through a medium

any spirit can a spirit a spirit relies presumably on the presence of a soul yes so you think pigs have souls everything has a soul why do you eat them I'm so yummy they're so interesting I know I'm a bad I'm not I believe in souls but I don't take care of them yeah not very good is it interesting very well that didn't happen they just fended online fair fair that's what I think Black messaged me this morning being like, can we, I'm listening to the Penelope episode. I don't know why she listened to it now. It's absolutely mad. Wow, Emma Black. Get up today, girl.

I know. Whether she's gone back. I don't know which one. Presumably the 100th. She's not cycling back. She's not cycling back. She's asked for a number for a private reading. But then, but then she's like. Em just laughed so hard. It's because Em knows Emma Black. Em and Emma Black used to work together in a bar like years ago. Yeah. I didn't know this. Yeah. Wow. No way.

Yeah. Eminem Black are like old school buddies. Oh my God. Isn't that really cute? Yeah, that's fascinating. Go on. What does she text you? Oh my God.

Yes, keep your secrets. But then I do really want, because Sunil had access to a medium yesterday, but he didn't take up on the offer. Like where he was working, there was a medium on set for the day. Was the medium offering, though? Yeah, the medium was like there for everyone as an option.

Why? Just for fun. Where was he working? He was filming a TV show. I probably can't say which one it was. And they just had a medium on set for fun. Yeah, the director hired a medium on set just to like, you know, give everyone like for humpday.

That's, what of your, well, it's all very well and good, but what if your future is terrible? That's the thing. That's why he didn't go in. Because apparently someone came out, like the sound lady and was like, well, I was going to fall apart. And then have to do like three more hours of recording in tears. That's just horrendous.

But don't you think I would love to do a set, like, have a medium come talk to us, but I'm open to it, but I don't know if you'd want to talk to spirit. We wouldn't be talking to spirit. We would, well, through a medium, we'd be talking to spirit. No, we wouldn't. Could you imagine if Lady Diana came in? Helen, of course Lady Diana would come in, because that is the most, like, searchable thing about you. Like, what, what could they possibly tell us that they wouldn't be able to find online? So much stuff. We are the least private people I know. I will be doing a private episode with a medium Andrew?

I won't be producing, but sure. Oh, no. Thank you, Alex. Alex, Mother. Yeah, there we go. See, M's up for the journey. And I wish you well. I wish you well.

I wish you well. Come meet Spirit with me. Fine. Michael Jackson. I don't want any of that. I've got questions. Bloody have. I've got a lot of questions.

Right, we have an update. Yes. An update from a listener. You can't be friends with children. It's, sorry, carry on. You think, oh, for it the love it. This is from M. Hi, M.

So they emailed. Do you have a friend, Eminem? So they emailed him. A while ago, and we did solve their problem. And the problem was that at the start of the uni, I made friends with a guy who soon, I soon started sleeping with dating, and then January he asked me to be his girlfriend.

Yes. Things were going really well until the start of May when he seemed to really distance himself. he told me he lost feelings I said I still really love him and he lives opposite us I remember this one yes it was quite a recent problem we solved I think

Dear Hoggs thank you so much for taking the time to listen to my problem The advice was very helpful In particular Helen's advice To infest his house I don't know if you remember that Yeah probably releasing vermin

In that would have been suggestion Yeah that's our girl It sounds plausible Drive him away with vermin Never failed me before What was Catherine's advice? Have a conversation, communication. I wish you could do my accent, just one time.

The summer break, by the way, I don't know if you know this, Alex. We actually got a dialect coaching to teach Helen how to do an Irish accent. So she's been professionally trained for that accent. Oh, I did. So, I'm set. Now I walk down the street and everyone's like, where on the Emerald Doyle is she from? oil oil it's the way you say aisle oil oil oil oil oil oil oil oil are John's a game on no

somebody messages us about that today Catherine type yeah somebody somebody put in the in the discord the Trotioch's Pervert forum saying that they also have that vocal tick of doing our John's a gay man now it's a classic vocal tick our John's a game on now fantastic I need to break a new curtain It's so all over the shop

It's like it gives me a headache But like it hurts my eyes Yeah we do need to get my dialect coach Back in for another session Just to tune it Yeah just to just to hone Just a little bit of honing In my head she gets both your nipples

And just tunes it until you're There we go Pogam! That was actually way better That was actually way better at you Maybe you're much better Oskueilga Maybe you should speak Osweilga

Thank you. Well, Girmagath. Gav Magath. Gerov Magas. Gerov Mahagha. Gerov Mahagha. There you go. Thank you.

You do just have a great propensity for language. Anyway, M says. Gerov Mahageth. Sorry, yes, pretty good. Sorry, M says. The summer break was really great as it allowed me to not see him. I spent a lot of time with friends and family and book tickets to see Helen's tour later this year. Yay!

I'm only 19 and I think all you really need is friends, family and a bit of trusty hogs. P.S., you're right, sex does get better after your first relationship. Yay! And vitamin D and vitamin C. I don't want you to be missing out on those. You're only 19. It sounds like she's getting vitamin D. I'm sorry.

Sorry, one in every 10 will be for you. Hello, welcome to the plugging section. Do not skip. Do not skip it. On March 2nd next year, I will be doing my show one last time at the Earth in Hackney. Pretty cool. It's a massive venue.

It's like 700 seaters. And when you go on the ticket linked by a ticket, which you must, you must, you must, please. It's going to be so much fun. I'm going to be doing a split bill with Olga Cox. So she'll be doing an hour. I'll be doing an hour. We're going to design some cocktails.

It's going to be the ultimate night out. Please join us. Tickets are available now. Are you filming? No, no, no. I think it's just like we're doing, we just wanted to do like a really big fun night. Love that.

That's gorgeous. That's gorgeous. We are all coming to Leicester on the 10th of February, so you can see every single hog as a solo stand up, and you can also see Trusty Hoggs Live, starting at 1230 with Helen's show. Then I'm on at 1.30, 2, 2 o'clock at Duffies. Then Catherine's at 3.30, so you can see us all back to back.

Then there's a bit of a gap until Trusty Hogs Live at 9.45. I'm also doing a work in progress at 8.30, but prioritise those first four, because that will be your big day out. 10th of February, Leicester Comedy Festival. Hydrate. Hello, it's Catherine. Also, please don't skip this. I know it's promo and it's boring, but here I am. I'm going on tour with a show called Again With Feelings. And my tour is going to be in London's Soho Theatre for two weeks in March. And then I'm going to Brighton, Oldershot, Edinburgh, Glasgow, Newcastle, Norwich, Winchester, Cambridge, Winchester, Cambridge, Winchester, Cambridge, Newcastle, Newcastle, Manchester, Cambridge, Leeds, Liverpool, Oxford, Oxford, Oxford, Edinburgh, I'm doing a big date at Bluebury Theatre. My point is, I'm trying my best. I'm coming to lots of places. I love to see. you there. I think the show's pretty damn good.

And shout out to all the Hampshire girlies. Please go see Catherine in Pompey and in Oldershot, as we call it. And to support her. I want her to love Hampshire as much as I-D. And Winchester? Winchester is in Hampshire, isn't it? I don't count. Why am I doing so many dates in Winthrop? Thank you so much. In Hampshire? Because it's a gorgeous county.

I, that reminds me I was going to do a series of gigs in Scotland. Yeah. First of all, two things to say. One, Scotland is so dark already. Like, those people need sand lamps. So have you done those gigs now? I did the three gigs, yeah. How was it? Great. It was really great.

So I've been offered to do it. I went to Dundee. I went to the Hebrides and I went to, no, no, I didn't go to the Hebrides. Oh my God. I went to the Gala Shields, which is at the borders. Lovely. Hebrides was way further away. And Edinburgh and it was gorgeous. And it's so funny because we were going being like, there's nothing really to do in these areas so everyone will come out and they didn't necessarily and it's always good to know that people have options but the people

who came were amazing and were like really up for it and very like we're going to tell all my friends. Was it just like beautiful scenery as well? It's stunning and also like when you are in small towns people are just like so grateful that you're there and so like the gays were out and we're like we can't believe we could do this on a Thursday

and you're like yeah anytime you like really Scotland is so fucking beautiful it kills me stunning but it's so dark so it's hard to see much of it but the other thing to say is m story reminded me that on the train i went on a four and a half hour train the lumo train and sat down those ones a nightmare you can't think much luggage so i sit down and the guy from what i can tell like very tall in front of me is on the phone he's maybe in my head like 20 and from the start of this train journey he's breaking up with this girlfriend on the phone

yeah and i was like let me take out my headphones let me put them away Oh no, you must just go silent on your headphones and leave them in, otherwise it's obvious. No, noise drowning, I was like, I need this, obviously. Melissa was having a terrible time. She's being broken up with my phone and they basically did this thing where they would go on a loop where he would be like,

yeah, I know, no, no, no one's going to think badly of you. No, no, no, I won't tell anyone that. No, no, no one would ever say that. No, you know our parents don't approve. You know they don't approve. You know they don't approve. You know it. You know we can be friends.

It's just going to take time. You know it's going to, we just need to be really bandried. we just need time to heal we just need to like have some okay yeah okay Melissa yeah thank you so much I know I love you so much I know it's gonna be okay

I know we'll heal I know we'll get through this maybe again in the future maybe again in the future I have to go now but we won't speak for a month we won't speak for a month and then they'd settle the date

in time he'd hang up and then Melissa would call five minutes later and he would answer the phone they did this for two hours now every woman on this coach what about the signal oh yeah every time he goes

in the train he calls she calls back every ton of Like, I love you, but I'm going to... Every tunnel he waits, we go back, we go back, we go back, wait for it, right? So this is happening. Every woman in this train's listening, obviously, there's a waning point where you're like, fuck me, I want to take the phone and be like, Melissa, babe, stop calling.

And I want this guy to be like, okay, he has all the language of therapy, but none of the implementation. You know, he's like, let's be boundaryed, let's heal, but he keeps... Joan Hale. An hour and 45 minutes in, I'm not joking. An hour and 45 minutes in. And I know this because there was an audible, like, from every woman in the carriage. He goes, the thing is, Melissa, we shouldn't be thinking about the future.

We shouldn't be thinking about marriage. We're only 14. I basically get out of my chair. I'm like, what? I'm like, whatever. Then, of course, I clock the signs. When he gets up to go to the loo, I realize, like, yes, he's very

tall, but he has, like, no facial hair. Yes, he sounds grown, but his entire snack for this four and a half hour journey was, like, cotton, candy and pink popcorn genuinely it was no genuinely he just had like trays of not working out with Melissa because you're gay no he wasn't but it was like whoa it was wild it was wild honestly every woman I swear to God there was like a clattering people just dropping shipping like huh 14 and I and the sad thing is Melissa doesn't even come from a good generation of breakup music like our

generation no no no now the breakup music is so empowering it's like I don't need him I'm amazing as I am, whereas we grew up in like, it's over, I'm naked on the floor, I'll never recover, I'll never be okay, which is just, I prefer the vibe of like, my heart's been broken, I can't go on, I can't go on, I'll never recover. I quite, I think Melissa has her soundtrack down, though, because it was giving Olivia Rodriguez, like, it was like, I shouldn't call you, but I'm going to call you, I shouldn't do this, but I'm going to do this, it was messy, eh, ugh. Do you prefer that, though, to what we grew up with, with like, I'll kill myself, I'll fucking do

I'll do it. I'm done. The good days of heartbreak. I'll never recover. You're the only one I'll ever love. You're it for me. I'll grab. I'll draw myself. I'll do it. I'll fucking do it.

I love the naughty's breakup music. There was just that. And then Rihanna being like, I know I'm unfaithful, but I can't start. I'm just crazy. Disturbia. It's like, you know, when you want to give the sounds of some like that you're listening to somebody so you want to participate in the conversation but you don't want to give any indication that you agree I'm like so Andrew is there

another problem you do agree with me that I'll give you one more update and then we'll do we'll do a fresh problem how how far into the mailbag episode about 45 minutes it's going well no not a single problem we have our own problems today no come on come on give me an update This is a very positive update from Jay. Hi Jay. The problem we solved in episode 89. And you're welcome.

The problem was a long term, a couple who hadn't had sex in a long time. We're talking years. Wait, when did we solve this one? It says 89, but I swear we had that recently. No, there was a very similar thing with Sophie Hagan, but this is a different problem. Can you give us any more details?

Let me have a quick look for it in the old inbox. Sophie's episode was like the touch, like, love language sort of thing. Someone, like, loved it. Absolutely obsessed, by the way. way that we have a very queer audience and that I'm constantly being like, lesbian bed death isn't a thing. Lesbian bed doesn't exist,

but most of the problems are, what up, we're lesbians and we ain't had no sex in a while. And I think we're going to have to start looking at the stats on that. But which lesbians who weren't having sex was the question? So it was a partner of five years, don't have sex much. To put things simply, we don't click sexually.

When we first made, the sex was great, but then after a few months things got hard. Different sex drives, no communication. It was very brutal to rattle through people's problems. It really, you're choosing a tone that I don't love. But, okay, yes, that's horrible, yes. But this is part of the tone of the podcast,

and we love you and we appreciate you. And we hope Natalie and Bruglia's okay. Can someone Google if she's all right? She's good. Because I'm still worrying about her. No, no, she's good. Okay, cool. She did, like, a couple of episodes, like,

judging on one of those panel shows. She's fine. Yeah, she's happy. I'm so glad. Eventually. Did she start that gorgeous glowing skin? I'm sure. She was definitely a second.

actual awakening for me. Go on, Andrew. Anyway, it's a very quick and a very positive update. Oh, great. We had set! Yes! The advice was genuinely helpful.

Was it the Hope Springs advice? Is that the first time I gave it? It's one of the three times you've given it. It wasn't Hope Springs, I don't think. But go on. As much as I knew I had to actually tackle this head on and open up a dialogue, hearing it from you, gave me the confidence I needed to just do it.

Yes, Jay. Oh my God, I'm so glad you did it and then you did it. I hope you're still doing it. I'd like another update because one fuck isn't exciting. I want to be no sure. I want to know that there was consistent fucking thereafter. Jay, tweet us. Lovely.

Twitter doesn't exist, is it? Oh, if you want to say anonymous, just email. Maybe don't. Just email. No, tweet me how many times do you like, no. All right, fine. So, and then we've got a fresh problem from C. No more updates? There are more updates, but. I love the updates.

You want another update? Okay, let's do one more update. Please. Please, I just want to make sure, I just worry that they're not okay. I know, I know that we're like passing on great advice. This is an update from E. Hi, E! Her original problem was that she, 34F, found out that her boyfriend, 35M, or six years,

had a short affair with an ex-girlfriend. He cheated. Oh my God, yes! He cheated on her by sleeping with the ex-girlfriend twice and having flirty messages. When I confronted him, he broke down, got extremely upset and was very apologetic. Obviously, lots of deliberation about what to do. Lots of emotions involved. We were probably very insightful and caring.

I don't even remember. I'm sorry. Helen, we don't... Was I here for this? Yes, but also, like, you don't have to say anything. You could just be like, hmm. You don't have to be like, this meant nothing to me. Yeah.

I remember E, go on. I remember E. Don't lie. I don't. I don't. I'm sorry. Okay. How awful. How awful.

Bad Matt. Anyway, there's a lot of questions about whether to get back with him and also a sort of desire kept wanting to like get back at him as well. Yeah, I remember this. Curbing that desire as well. So the update is, Hi, Hogs, hope you're both feeling better after your recent illnesses. Thank you.

This could be from any way. It really good. I was like, I'm currently supporting my back with a cushion and go on. I'm sniffly. Helen's nose is very dry, but go on. She's had an awful time of it. Oh, I had an awful time of it. Firstly, can I just say, thanks so much for your help with my problem.

It was very cathartic to listen to, and I felt like I'd been able to chat about it with friends. I happily joined the Stye, bracket's patron, as my way of saying thanks for listening. Oh my gosh, thank you, welcome. Get in the mud, roll around, girl. Thank you. I know you like updates to problems, so here's an update.

We love it. A new problem. Oh, my God. But you can't just have one problem in life. Listen, no good deed goes unpunished. Let's go. I have a theory, but go on. The update is, I decided to stay with him.

And we're getting married. You'll probably think I'm mad, but I do think he has seen the error in his ways and seems to understand that where it's happen again, there is no next chance. Yeah. So far, so good, but I'm obviously still. If it's good enough for Beyonce, girl, it's good enough for you. Yeah. Indeed.

Now, on to the new problem. Well, not new to me, but a new aspect for you to hear. I despise his overbearing mother. Oh That is a bit of fun Okay, go Go, go, go Go, go

Go, go Go, go. His dad is very poorly And it's brought out The worst in his mum She treats me like her Secretary all the time And I could write an essay

On her general selfishness I'm happy to support my partner Through his family issues Of which there are many But how do I stop being walked over By his mum without causing a problem? I mean,

it's the hardest one of all. I'm torn, right? When one of your parents is sick, it's hard to, and look, they're not your parents. So first of all, like, I think this is all, I think the solution here is going to always obviously be boundaries. Like, I think saying when,

and saying truthfully when you can't do something is a completely reasonable thing to do and you have to do it because the temptation in most of these cases is going to be to do it and then she gets used to being able to treat you a certain way and then that is self-perpetuating, right? So you have to be like, oh gosh, that actually doesn't work for me. Or, oh, goodness, I won't actually be able to make that. Or really sorry, but have too much on with work this week to take this on.

Don't want to agree to it and then let you down. And you can lie. Like, you don't actually have to be at work to say that I'm working. You can also not answer the phone. You can not look at your phone for a while. These are all permissible things. But I think from, and look, I think you also need to be like, what of this is something I need to say?

and what of this is stuff he needs to say because it's his mom and that might be more appropriate in some cases. But I also just like other part of me is like gosh, the scariest thing in the world is the person that you love. Like her partner, her, I think it's easy to forget the parents are like

romantically engaged and like if one of your parents is sick it's obviously the worst in a way for the person who loves them most and who is planning to like age with them and adores them and um yeah touching under maybe for me so always be quiet no never to be quiet on that but i think just like i think it's it's a tricky one but like you don't have to do everything that someone asks of you

like obviously like there's just certain things with family that you just do do out of love and i know it's not your family but it is your family it's your chosen family in so many ways and like like yes like attend some of the things and I mean, it's so hard without specifics of what she's asking for you. If it's that she's expecting you to do their weekly shop and like drop it round as well as then spend hours like chatting

with them like there's it's okay to be like oh I'm busy oh I can't do that right now. I've got loads on at work like it doesn't have to be just I would gladly show you head to do that online and set it up as a recurring thing rather than yeah it's really hard though and I think but I think you also

so is to get less angry and waste less of you emotional energy because we've all been there where you're like great I think the thing is to really delineate for yourself what is about you and what's about her so probably the anger comes from like I'm not your fucking secretary but actually it's something about you that makes her think that apart from that maybe you're a people pleaser and kind um which is a love which are nice things yeah it's a good thing to be a people pleaser it's not negative it's probable that she is incredibly panicked very like brisk with people and maybe self-centered and those are about her not about you so like taking a breath and reminding yourself of that

before you read her messages. It might be helpful. I was watching the latest episode of the Kardashians on Disney Plus. Of course you were. Last night. I get it. And Chloe and Chris are talking. I think the episode is called Easter and Palm Springs. It's wonderful. And Chloe

and Chris are talking. Remember when Chloe was the cool one? And don't calm down. And like Chloe is being... Calm down, please. She's very cool. No, she's not. She has an entire business called Clow CD.

That's about organisation. I love her. No. Revenge body is the grossest promise I've ever heard of my life. And her sister making gummies. Close CD is. Yeah, Closy D was, but if you watch this episode,

you can see that a lot of it is her mum making deals and how not being ready to do it. But you have so much sympathy for Chris because you can see this mother and daughter duo who, like, there's a lot of love there, but also this is miscommunication. and watching it makes you have so much sympathy for the mother it's like when you're watching Gilmore girls

and you suddenly switch to being like oh poor Emily instead of like oh poor Laurela's daughter you never felt bad for Emily even when like Richard dies in the later episodes or the fact that she had to go in I can't stand the woman Emily Gilmore when Laura like got pregnant and just ran away and just left her

and wouldn't even let her see her the baby I really struggled with her you know what says a lot about me I know that's a mad I thought I would have been the one that would have been I know I'm the very minority on that I really just never could be like

fine I'm always like oh she just drives me fucking mad. Do you have so much sympathy and love for like parents though who... But we hate in others what we see in ourselves and I am justui Emily so probably that's why I hate her. Oh see I think I'm just in a phase of life where I'm just like constantly like feeling super like like all these like these women

that raised us and like you know like we talk about this generational trauma but we forget we always think about it in terms of like what they gave to us like what they ruined for me but it's also like, what did you grow up in? You grew up in during the Atkins diet where therapy wasn't even an option.

Babe, we grew up during the Atkins diet. Not like that. Not when they were in their 20s and 30s. It was something our moms did when we were very little. Like we had special K and stuff. It's different. Yeah. But like the expectations.

I love that you're like, do not score me on diet culture. Don't score me on diet culture again. That dates are circa blah. Like we talk about this like generational trauma and this is nothing to do with you in your relationship with this like sort of like mother-in-law figure.

but like it's there's like I don't know maybe I'm just feeling emotional about it no we're both feeling very emotionally I can really sense it but I love you and I think that in this case this is all boundaries and you can change the dynamic

she will treat you to I think to a degree how you let her and you need to hand this problem back to the person whose mother it is I think and also just sometimes you just have to do things you don't like that's part of it for the person you love but if you do that you have to just own that

you can't be like, I'm doing these things even though I don't want to. Either do or don't. Really? I think you can totally winge. No, I think you have to go like either. I'm choosing to do this because I think it's the right thing to do. When your partner's parents is sick, they have family issues. You can't be like, you can either be like, I, this is my line

and I will not go any further than that. But if you're going to get yourself involved, you can't be like, I'm going to help, but I also am going to be, make you feel awful like. Not to the partner. You get a third party to win to. Oh yeah. Oh, sorry. Yeah. So like, play the martyr. If they play the martyr when in doubt.

You're Irish. Why do you not play the martyr now? Because families are complicated. You can bitch to a third. Of course you can. Do a couple of the things and be like, Oh, maybe you can see if his ex-girlfriend's free. She'd want to bitch about the mom.

Play the whole like, oh no, I'd love to. I'd love to. Anything I can do. And then go to your partner and be like, oh, thank you so much for helping. No, honestly, it's my pleasure. It's my pleasure. Like you're going through a tough time with your family,

blah, blah. And then go to your friends, go for coffee and be like, fucking hell! Fuck me! Oh, the expectation is exhausting. Yeah, that's fair. That's a good dynamic. It sounds really healthy and good.

Yeah. That's what we do to each other. We're not very good at parent problems. No, we're not. God, we're actually, you're so right. You basically said, I have this issue and I went, well, one of my parents is feeling a certain way, and you went, generational trauma.

And my dad had an operation last week. He got a bunion removed. Shall I, Michael Bauer. He's left it about five years. And me and my brother are always like, get the fuck, what the fuck is that? Wait, that's a really intense surgery. Yeah, he's off his feet for like a month.

Yeah, that's horrendous. And he's losing his mind because my sister knows that he's trapped. She's calling him like five times a day. Oh, bless her. And then she was like, he was like, I can't handle this. So my brother has gone down to Cornwall today to visit her.

So nice. And they're going to the special needs seal sanctuary, obviously. And bad news at the seal sanctuary. I still can't get over the fact that it's the seal to our special needs. Ray, the Special Need Seal, has been put in his own

unreleasedable tank away from Yule Log and Marlon. Who's Yulog? Yulog's one of the special needs seals at the Special Need Seal sanctuary.

I was going to say surely they don't call him Ray the Special Need Seal. Ray is so brain damaged now. Play not Liam Brugley is torn. He keeps running into the walls and the other special needs seals so he had to go and talk.

his own time. Oh, bless him. Oh, God. So Marianne and Ted are going to go visit Ray and she's going to get me a magnet, she said. That's very sweet. But bad news for Ray. Okay, let's try to have a problem and not escalate

to bigger problems. Andrew, you got another one for me? Yes, let's end on a work self-avocation problem, shall we? Yes, please. And then I would like, just maybe one more update because I like to hear people are okay. Fabulous. We'll end on a positive update.

Thank you. The way Andrew said that, I'll find one. Some way, somehow, I'll find a positive update and go on. Most of our updates are pretty much. Control F, happy? Come on, be realistic. No results. Control F, doing slightly better, maybe.

That's nice. So, this is from S. Hi, S. Dear Huggies, absolutely love the pod and was so lucky I got to see you both at Helen's first night at Soho Theatre. Yay! Catherine wasn't on stage, being very supportive in the audience. Yeah, and also, like, I was not drawing attention to myself, whereas you

I waived. You mentioned me about four times and did my accent. Yeah, and waived. Yeah, you waived so much. Nice to wave to friends. You don't necessarily have to stop the show to wave for you. Hello, Catherine. Yeah. Hello, thank you for coming. Go on, Andrew.

You never wave at me. Oh, you know, I'm just sort of doing my job, I guess. Yeah. I did the Now show yesterday. Had it go. honestly like I got up to the microphone and I was like wouldn't it be funny because obviously it's like a pre-approved like satirical news comedy script but I was like wouldn't it be funny to start with was up cunts and then I was like don't say cunts and I get to the microphone but like I still got the was up in my head so I get up there and I go wala and the whole

crowd is like and then they all go ha ha ha ha ha ha and I'm like ha ha ha ha and it's just so I hate when you're laughing at them and they're laughing at you like a question like Ha ha ha ha ha and Katie is one of the producers She's also a listener Hello Katie Hi Katie Thank you for telling me that horrific thing about friends And she wasn't

I could just like see at the box as lip She was like Like the one person who actually knows me as the style So you just need to describe what she did Rather than do it Oh just like just look like Okay okay baby like hands waving You're good to be okay

Yeah it was good though It sounds pretty satirical and political I think it's going to be edited. You're going to be the comedian who did the shortest set ever on the show. This was up. Was it? Well up, cunt. And then we had like our photo at the end.

And, you know, like, it's Hugh Dennis and Steve Puncho. Yeah. So Hugh Dennis. And I was like, he was talking about the scouts in the green room. And I was like asking him about how he did at Scouts. And then I thought, they were like, can you, we all have a picture together? And I was like, oh, let's do the Scouts on her. And I'm like, this in the photo, the professional photo.

And he's just looking at him. be like no I'm not going to be asked back well listen sorry I'm focused let's do a what is it a problem yeah problem from S

yes yes yes back to us I need some advice on how to advocate for myself at work today I saw that a new role in my team has opened up when I clicked on the external link I saw the salary and the bottom end of the range was more than I make now and the top end was double my salary

For context, this role is in the US My team is mostly there, and I'm in the UK However, I googled how much of a difference it is to live cost-wise And there is not as much as the jump Also, the role is more junior than mine So it technically should have a lower start Any advice on how to bring the stuff at work Have you had to fight for pay at gigs you do?

Thanks in advance, can't wait for the Zoom show Interesting I don't think you need to learn how to advocate for yourself everything you just said is a very good argument for a pay it's a good argument but how do you

how do you approach it you ask for a meeting and I think you either ask for like a work appraisal meeting or a review meeting or if that's not coming up or if you've just had them you ask for a meeting

and you put in writing everything you want to say in that meeting in advance because otherwise you don't want to have to be like this is what happened after the meeting you just want to say

hello I'd like to have a meeting to review the following things. I'd like to discuss my performance because they can talk about, they can bring some stuff to the table. Maybe there's like, you know, you can say like, is there a reason? Is there anything I'm failing to do?

That means that this wouldn't be the case. And then I think you say, very simply, I have just seen this job posted in the email. I've seen this job posted. This is a more junior role than I have, yet it pays more and offers more at the lowest scale. I've looked up, I've done the research and looked up the price differential living in the area.

it doesn't like correspond for the correction or like or allow for the difference or make sense of the discrepancy. And then you say, you know, one of those three things you could say, probably the last one. I know it took me a minute to get to, but I'm wording the email. I want to be specific. Prank. So then just say I feel. No, don't say I feel because feel doesn't feel very business. Maybe just say I think I know this to be incredibly unfair given that my position is I do my job well, I think, and I, like, this doesn't make any sense to me. Can we have a meeting to talk it through? I would lay it out in an email. Yeah, I'd say the laying out is really good. Like, have your facts so they can see how, like, unreasonable it is. But I think also, like,

also so they have an answer for you. Just word in a way of, like, being like, this is so mad. Isn't this fucking mad? Like, make them go like, oh, yeah, this is mad instead of, like, accusatory. I think if you go accusatory, people sort of, like, get defensive and start thinking up things right. That's also why I think you should put in an email. I think if you go in there and just say this has happened, then you get people being like, well that's not really the same and let them think about it. Yeah. Let them justify it and let them come to you

with solutions because I think if you go in and they're just, they'll be defensive, you're more likely to get a... Good luck getting a Mitchell and Star without you. That's all that I've fucking said. Yes. But I think it's a completely reasonable concern, a completely valid argument and a completely outrageous circumstance. True. So I

think you should absolutely say it and put in writing and then after the meeting. put it in writing and if the meeting doesn't go the way you want it it's time to go to HR or move to the US and get this job

that's like less skilled work for more money where in the US it might be Baltimore don't you like healthcare healthcare but surely jobs don't jobs in the US

come with healthcare depends on your job and also you presumably like things like maternity leave holiday pay there are some major benefits to working in this industry rather than theirs

good Lord they're not good to their workers yeah But don't, they get health care though if you're working. You get health insurance sometimes and it'll have multiple caviar. Bloody hell. Yeah. And you get eight weeks maternity leave.

Eight weeks? I think it's eight weeks. Then what happens to baby? If you don't go back, they just give your job away. What happens to baby? You have to pay somebody to look after it? The baby's also hired. What did you think I was going to say?

The baby puts on its big boy suit and it gets to freaking work. That is the American dream. weeks and taken away from your parents. You're very little there. Well, no, they still get to keep the baby. They just have to see it in the evening, I guess. Do you know what I'm saying? But being eight weeks old and being like, oh, like, mommy and daddy and all like mommy and daddy, they're going to be gone.

Way to be inclusive. But we're not being inclusive of his women who are completely valid and going back to work. Go back to work whenever you like. Yeah, but then. It just should be a choice. There should be a choice. Yeah, I'm just saying, let's keep it to this problem. What do we say last time?

We're not going to escalate the problem. Poor baby. No, the babies are fine, I think. I don't know. The babies are okay. And they don't have health care. Oh my God. Because the babies don't have jobs?

I can't with you. Andrew, I need more. How does the baby get health care? I will kill you. Oh, I wish you well. Do you have to wait until you're 18? No, what? No, you don't get a family health.

I'm not, I don't provide health insurance in the US, nor do I live there. I don't know the answers to the message. Happens the baby eats a penny. Why are you feeding a pennies? Also, aren't they sense in America? It'd be wild for them to get foreign currency. Oh, yeah. How's the baby get?

I guess the travelling baby. Baby's gone to the post. Baby's on the road. Did we solve the problem? Andrew, you've spaced out. I was just trying to think how we can end this on a nice note. But I have actually found a very good update. Let's do that.

Let's do that. Wait, is that what you're doing while we're talking? You're thinking, what's the out for this? No, no, not necessarily the out, just the uplifting. Oh, it doesn't have to always be uplifting, I guess. But yeah, I was just trying to think about what our next update should be. We've got loads of updates. and go on

I think there's the two here that are very excited to get into but I think we should leave for the extras okay great checking on the extras for some some updates over a hundred extra episodes available on patron.com

forward slash trusty hogs oh gosh and we can just do so much like so much more when we have Patreon supporters so thank you so much that's why Alex is here like break our beds again oh no don't break your bed

I meant more like expand the team and make more clips and I'd be able to provide more live shows. Oh, yes. All stay tuned, go on. This is a very quick update and a very positive one from a very recent problem.

Yay! The couple's costume problem. Oh my God, yes. Oh, gosh. We were harsh. Yes. So they wanted to go as Daphne and Velma. Yes.

They have said, hi, Hogs. Thank you so much for talking about. I've quit the patron. Fuck you, man. Thank you so much for talking about my couple's costume problem. Anytime. I was very down about

it and I decided to tell my partner not to bother, I'll just go as Daphne anyway, because the costume works in the zone. Awesome. However, we got to the party, we arrived separately, and they had dressed as Velma to surprise me. Oh my God, it's lesbian magic! That's so cute. Even my eyes cold heart is melded by that.

That's really sweet. Oh, my God. I don't think they listen to the podcast, so I don't know if I can give you full credit, but I thought you'd like to know anyway. That's a sitcom. That's so sweet. That's like the end of episode. episode four in a sitcom.

Like there's been a rift, right? Yeah. And then they sort of like walked to the costume party. And there's their Velma. Did she like whip off her Velma head and have a different costume underneath? I hope so. That's so sweet. That was lovely, thank you.

That was really nice, Andrew. Happy Halloween. It's too late, but still. Happy Guy Fawkes and Halloween end of season to you, Catherine. Thank you, Helen. Remember, remember the 5th of November. That's gone by now, isn't it? 5th of November. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's Sunday just gone. Okay. Well, I hope you had a lovely

bonfire night and I hope when you saw a Catherine wheel, you thought of Catherine. Aw. That's nice. But they are bad for dogs. They are bad for dogs. Hey, guys, have a great week and join the Patreon to listen to the extra updates. Yes, very excited. And for babies to get healthcare. Thank you very much. Goodbye. No, wait, what? Oh, hello. Thank you so much to our executive producers. Wow. You guys give so much support and we genuinely couldn't do it without you. Thank you so much

while you sip coffee from your executive producer mug. Let us say thank you too. Guy Goodman, Simon Moores, Mary, Fox Annie Turner, Sarah Deacon, Oliver Jago, Anthony Conway, and Matthew Thomas. And thank you to our producers as you sip out of your producer mugs,

which is also a thing. Don't spill it! If you already have, you have. Thank you to Rich Bicknell L, Richard Bold, Neil Redmond, Victoria Hutchinson, Harold Van Dyke, Tim and Don, David Walker, Rachel R, Sady,

Cashmore, Claire Owen Jones, Jess and Nick, Zoe, Sarah and Wally, Riafink, Cordelia, Rachel Page, Helen A, Tina Lindsay, Graham Marsh, Amy O'Reardon, Abby Worf. Legends. Legends. All of you, legends. Key Webb, Matt Sims, Luke Bright, Leah, Kate Spencer. That's not two, that's one person. Tristan, Liz Ford, Taz, Clow, Becky Fox, Emily G, Dean Michael, Glenys Wood, Stephanie Katrata, Sophie Chivers, Mark, Anthony, Anthony, Karen. Sue. We haven't quite figured that one out yet. And Charlie A. Carrie, Kerry, let us know. God bless. Amen. With so many options, why choose Arizona State University? For me, the only online option was ASU because of the quality. Their faculty was really involved with their students and care about your personal journey. The dedication to my personal

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