Trusty Hogs - Ep112. GABBY BRYAN / Sluts, Slags and Slays

Episode Date: December 14, 2023

A very funny and raucous episode for you this week with brilliant guest Gabby Bryan! As well as a top class stand-up performing at all the top American clubs, Gabby hosts her own show Unabashed Podcast. We indulge our toxic traits, breakdown Gabby's type in men and women, and solve an egg freezing dilemma. Meanwhile, Helen fails to feel the effects of some edibles...FOLLOW GABBY: @GabbyIsBryanThank you so much for listening!Support us at https://www.patreon.com/TrustyHogs for exclusive bonus content, merch, and more!Trust us with your own problems and questions... [e-mail] give us a follow @TrustyHogs on all socialsBe sure to subscribe and rate us (unless you don’t like these little piggies - 5 Stars only!)Thank you to our Patreon supporters...EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Guy Goodman / Simon Moores / Mary Fox / Annie Tonner / Sarah Deakin / Oliver Jago / Anthony Conway / Matthew Thomas / Madeline QuinnePRODUCERS: Richard Bicknell / Elle / Richard Bald / Neil Redmond / Victoria Hutchison / Harald van Dijk / Tim & Dom / David Walker / Rachel R / Sadie Cashmore / Claire Owen-Jones / Jess & Nick / Zoë / Sarah & Molly / Raia Fink / Cordelia / Rachel Page / Helen A / Tina Linsey / Graham Marsh / Amy O'Riordan / Abbie Worf / Kie Web / Matt Sims / Luke Bright / Leah / Kate Spencer / Tristin / Liz Fort / Taz / Anthony / Klo / Becky Fox / Emily Gee / Dean Michael / Glenys Wood / Stefanie Catracchia / Sophie Chivers / Marc / Carey Seuthe / Charley A / KC / Hayley WorfWith Helen Bauer (Daddy Look at Me, Live at the Apollo) & Catherine Bohart (Roast Battle, Mock the Week, 8 Out of 10 Cats)FOLLOW HELEN, CATHERINE & ANDREW...@HelenBaBauer@CatherineBohart@StandUpAndrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to episode 112. It's Catherine Beauxhart and Helen Bower. Hello. This is Trustee Hogg, the podcast where we tell you about our perfect lives. And we also have guests, wonderful comedians in to tell you all about theirs and to help you with advice on your problems. And look, I'll be honestly. Today we recorded the guest first. Yes.

And Helen said the word sleigh approximately a hundred times. And if she says it one more time, I will, my jaw hurts from how on edge I am about it. I'm so sorry. So it has to stop now. and so Andrew has and I have agreed that we will take five pounds away

from your pay this month for every time you say it just now for every time you say it on this five count yeah so careful what you do but just know

you can say it in the context of Santa that's it okay understand that this is not a choice or something I want to be saying it has to stop

and this is the only way it's going to say and I'm being very careful right now good I've also been told by Andrew and M recently

and also So in August, by some people that work in my agent's office. Hi Charlotte, Flora, the gang, Molly. That it's out. No one says it anymore. But I'm 32. I'm trying to join in. And it does feel it's hard for me to like suddenly like, I'm in the gang.

And then everyone's like, that's not cool. So like, let's just be patient and loving. And just understand that if I say it. I'm out of patience. I don't mean to. Okay. Well, just keep it in mind. Because five fans.

Can I have another word to say instead? Nope. Like sick. How about sick? No. No. No. Let.

Let. Let. Fire. Fire. How about fire? You already say fire and I hate it. Fire. Through the fog.

Step forth the trusty hogs. Yeah. You're going to give me your problems and they will solve them. Or maybe they won't. And that's your problem. They'll have guests. and Andrew White on the tech Oh, it's Helen and Catherine

As the trusty hugs Trust the trusty hogs Or maybe not I'm already tired I'm ready to start of the episode How is that true? How? Helen, how is your week?

I have so much energy right now How is your week? I finished my tour of this side of Christmas Obviously stills a date for the new year Norwich were rearranging I'm so sorry I could make it in the end. I'm only starting mine in March.

Don't. Don't. I know I'm going to be finishing as you're starting. Oh, fuck. But I have done two since you did your last one. And it's important to have one hog on the road at least. At all times. At all times. Speaking of... Go on.

You might be finished your tour, Helen. And I might be yet to start mine. Go on. But I think we have a little announcement for the hog. Are we announcing now? We are indeed. Guys, we're about to become a fish road hogs. The trusty hogs are going on tour.

Yes. It's a baby. It's a baby start. It's a baby, baby's first tour. Baby, baby's first tour. It's a little piglet tour, a little hugglet tour, a little teeny tiny style on the road. Andrew, where are we going and when, please? We are going to Leicester on the 10th of February. Hello, Lester. We are going to Dublin on the 4th of June. How are you Dublin?

Top of the morning. No. We're going to Bristol on the 10th of July. I'm Gertlesh. Nice. 17th of July, we are in Brighton. Hey, Gay! I'm Gah!

It's a seagull. We are yet to announce Manchester in Edinburgh, but they are coming. I'm buzzing. I'm buzzing for it. But they're coming. Manchester and Edinburgh are coming as well. We just need to find dates, but they were very close. And then we are finishing the tour at the Clapham Grand. Whoa!

It's so big! Clappum. It's actually in Battersea. All right. Well, listen. So that's the baby baby baby tour, but hopefully you'll be able to come to see us in one of those. We're very excited. Yay!

I'm excited. a roadhog with you guys. Oh, wait. Do Andrew and I have to do all the driving? I think that was the agreement. I think that was pre-agreed. Christ. I think that was.

Originally, very early days were discussing us a couple of months ago when we were all busied up about it. We were like, but we can save costs if we all drive together. And I was like, yeah, no, 100%. But you can't drive. Yeah, 100%.

Yeah. But like, I'll be there for like, emotional support. Tomorrow I'm driving all the ditchfield and back and I thought that was near and it's far away. It's like beyond Birmingham. no yeah and I well because I went to book trains and then I was like this is I'm not to leave at like

1 p.m. if I go on the train whereas I can leave at 5 if I go on the car but fuck it's gonna be five hours and one night and I'm very tired hope I get there and back safely honestly finishing this tour I suddenly had like a burst of energy I did six cities in total how was it that I just said I'll be tired and you're like I'm so awake hey this energy is very um to support you it's nice it's very nice. It reminds me of like toddler energy. Aw, thank you. Which I think you have a story of it. I went to a toddler's birthday party. Go on Sunday.

I literally finished my tour and was a hey, hours. I was on the triangle and I'm going to a toddler's birthday party. Oh my God, what am I doing? What are we doing? Where was it? It was in Brighton. So my friend's little boy. It was so sweet. How old? Two. How many of them

were there? Oh God, probably about like 10 toddlers and then like a couple of like kids who were like, oh a sibling. Well, they're just sort of bashing into each other. Oh, I was bashing into them. Helen! It was such a, like, there was like, I sort of got there and I was like, oh, it's just going

to be like webling about and then immediately like walked in and all the adults are talking and I'm like, I don't want to introduce myself to anyone because I've got no social battery for adults at the moment. But you do have for kids. And I walked in with Francis because it's like me and Francis' mutual friend. Yeah, yeah. And Francis sort of like went and did like the talks of the adults and I was like, here's your birthday gift!

To the toddler. Like got in the ball pair. Immediately was like this pop-up tense. tunnels which did not fit me I did try um got stuck around my hips very hum it was okay I went back it was fine um and oh god like a big connect four that was made out of foam and they had um a projector playing like different songs from Disney with the videos on this is amazing this is your dream scenario yeah and there was like little balls of crisps how do we organize your party there what's a call it was a pub it was like at the corner of a pub and there were little bowls of

crisps and little um little fairy cakes what This is an amazing. My friend broke like the corner of like a bar for like the daytime right. It's like it was like I'm done at 4.30 and it was just like this is I live here now. So sorry for yawning.

I'm so sorry for yawning. You're very sleepy aren't you? I'm really sorry. Did you not sleep last night? I haven't been sleeping well the last few weeks. What's been going on? Well. Moving.

Yeah and just like a lot of like I've had to make some big personal decisions. You have actually. It's all very tedious and boring. But I'm just exhausted and shattered a night. You know when you're worried. about something so much that you don't really sleep that even once you've done it you're like

oh god I'm now I'm like gonna be catching up but Christmas is soon and I'm fine my point is I had the biggest edible the other day I never do that but my friend I was like sorry what I'm awake now I was not expecting that same word I had such a good sleep what and like she gave it to me

sorry what do you mean is this a situation where somebody gave you a brownie you waited and then they went shit there's drugs in that and you went no no no my friend was like talking about like edibles and I was like do you have loads It's like, do you have edibles? And she was like, yeah, and I was like, I would genuine, I'd love to try it. Like, I've smoked weed before, but I never, like, enjoyed it or, like, found, like, what worked for me.

But, like, I love the idea of, like, having a buzz and falling asleep. So she was like, okay, well, I'll bring something for you. So the next day I saw her, and she brought me, like, um, weed-infused fudge, like chocolate fudge, but it tasted like, it tastes like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it was like, have half of it, and you have to wait an hour and a half because it will kick in. And I was like totally understand. So I had like, all of it. I was like traveling back from Newcastle. You had all of it.

And I went to like got home and I had half of it. And I waited an hour and half. And I was like, I literally feel nothing. And I was like, nothing. And I was like, nothing. And she was like, anything. And I was like, literally nothing. She's like, I don't have a bit more.

And I was like, I'm just going to have the whole thing. Because like, I'm literally feeling nothing. I had the whole thing. Eventually, Snale comes home. And he's like, are you high? And I was like, no. Like, I'm literally, he's like, you seem a bit drunk. And I was like, well, maybe.

but maybe I'm just like sleepy I honestly and she was like get the snacks in you're going to eat food the best you've ever eaten it and I was like there with my food all around me like here we fucking go and nothing but then when I went to bed I did not turn I just slept for like nine hours straight to the point where I slept on one side for nine hours that I woke up with an earache yeah I know that feeling like you like you said and you're like oh ow ow because it's like it's like it's just been like blo locked for like it was insane and I just woke up and I was like oh my god I'm healed I can't tell but didn't get high I can't tell if you got like a tranquilizer amount it just took too long to kick in or if it had no effect but you were so like in the zone of going to be relaxed that you just knocked yourself out I don't know whether it works if like I'm I'll say like overthinking a bit but I was like maybe because I've had like a full dinner I was like maybe I should have it on like a slightly empty stomach because like there was so much food in my belly like I had dinner and then I had it. You diluted the fudge too much. I think I might dilute the fudge. I think I should

just do it first thing in the morning but I've eaten it all now. Yeah I guess what? Did you just burb? Yeah. Oh my God. You just see me try and swallow it though like I went it went up and I hate you. This is how you end up with sausage in your nose. This is how it happened. You know I walked past that foils earlier. I keep walking by it and being like oh Jesus Christ. But maybe... You've done that to a lot of places for me. I'll try and get more edibles. Yeah, listen, I...

It sounds like you could just have some fudge and go to bed. I really want to get loads of... Because you know, I still haven't tried mushrooms. I remember ages ago. Like, we had Jack Barry on. You talked about mushrooms and you still haven't done them. I didn't do them. You talked so too big mushroom game.

I got rid of them. I thought they'd gone out of day, like, after a year. I just never did them. I just never got to the point where I was, like, comfortable in the evening and also had the day off the next day. Just in case it was like a crazy hallucinogenic. But I'm really tempted to, like, get loads in this Christmas. Oh, my God.

For family times? Well, this is the thing. This is the first family Christmas that I will be at and my sister won't, right? Is your sister staying in Cornwall? She has to work in Cornwall, right? Wait, she's blowing off Christmas. Mm-hmm. By choice.

She has to work. Like, this is, like, part of this new job. So, but she, I love her, but she takes up all the space. right in the family like it's it's like she's just like the center of and anyone with like neurodivitis the family knows it like sometimes one person just sort of like fulfills everything so like part of me is like oh is it going to be a bit quiet maybe a bit awkward at my I can't I really like it's just it's a guessing game yeah um and then I'm like maybe maybe I should this is my chance because it's like a break with your mom to just well my mom's done her husband her husband she was little yeah but

My point is like, do you, little feels like the wrong word there. Do you mean younger? Younger. Okay, great. My point is like, do you want to be doing them around your family? Or do you not want to them when you have time alone? Well, this is the thing. This Christmas, like, it's very, like, and once again, for people that do sometimes, like,

I do love my family. They're great. It's just everyone struggles with their family in different ways. Yeah, and Christmas is like a tricky time. And this year, I'm going into it very, did we ever talk about what happened when we last Christmas? We personally talked about it. I can't remember if we talked about it on the podcast.

I ended up spending it alone in case. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So it was like a Christmas Eve meltdown and then alone. But it's very boundary this year. Like I'm staying in a hotel. Like my family or some of my family are also staying in the hotel. But I've got my own room.

Oh, do you? Yes. I've already done that discussion. I'm like, look, I know it makes more sense to save money that we all share rooms. But like I'm, like I said like I will, I, I, this is not a judgment on you. I just know that I need this. And you paid for your own room. own room actually my mum paid for it in the end

that's so nice yeah I didn't ask her to it's very sweet but I was like this is something I need and she was like and then she sent me a lovely message being like and this is something that I need to work on like I'm very like scrupulous with my money and like very aware of it but I'm also aware that everyone we need her in space I'm like 100% so nice so I'm my brother sharing with her

good luck Ted good luck Ted and that's for him okay fucking 34 with his mummy Oh, he's such a good, he's a really good man. Wait, he's going to be chopping and tailing with your mom and you're going to be doing shrooms in the next room. If you're going to do mushrooms in a hotel. You know I bow-a-kade now.

You know I bow-a-kade. I didn't know that you bow-er-kade. I bow-a-kade, which is when I put, well, my friends call it bow-a-kading, which is when I arrive at a new hotel and I lock myself in with a suitcase in front of it so I can't easily get out. But if you want, what we could do is ensure you could message me on the evenings,

because I mean we'll talk we'll talk with way through Christmas anyway because it's Christmas But you could plop some wire into your hair

and then use that to pick the lock What? What hotels have locks? Okay All cards aren't we? All right, fine Okay, fine

I'm just spitbulling You could put a card under your tit You're making me so paranoid It's gonna happen again You could put a card between your butt cheeks You could put a card

Between your toes Speaking of that hotel episode Andrew's shared so like obviously since we last recorded these Spotify raps like come out and stuff and we were sort of like talking in our group chat being like oh my god it's so cool like we're in people's like top tens and blah blah and then Andrew obviously has the statistics of like what we've got on Spotify as far as like list and shit and it was like most shared episode the stairwells and shame what is it called?

On WhatsApp. Sleepwalking and shame is the most shared on WhatsApp by like a significant percentage of it. Because everybody's like listen to this. Listen to this horrible. woman's life and trust that everything's going to be okay. And I swear we've done some really good like interesting conversations around like mental health. We've had superstars. We got superstars on. But that's the most shared one. That's the one. Wow. Poor Helen. That's tragic. But also thanks, Helen. Thanks. I reckon thanks. Um, shall we do we have our guest on? I know we've got a guess

but I know you had a wax, but should we do that on the extras? Oh my God. In the extras, I'm going to tell you about the best wax I've ever had my fucking life. Oh my God. for now. Please welcome to the podcast. Gabby Brian! Hello, thank you so much for donating to our Patreon if you have done. Thank you.

Thank you. We kind of thought we should jump on and explain to you what we're doing with your money because while we love that you're giving it freely and blindly, shall we say. We just wanted to say that it really does help make this podcast. So we spend it on renting this office so that we can make the podcast, which we could not do, as you know, because we were kicked out of our last list because they closed for a week. So they said, then they reopened. So were they just trying to get rid of us? Who's to say? But thank you so much for helping us be here. We also spend it on all of the equipment. We used it to buy our microphones, our cameras, our audio equipment and our whatever tech stuff Andrew does. And we use a mixing desk and he's got that sound mixer too. Is that sound mixer? It is, yeah, yeah. We use it genuinely to buy coffee. for our guests sometimes to buy them

lunch if they've come a long way and me lunch sometimes yes and I think that's reasonable remember when we all went for bagels and then also in order to make this podcast we have to book us we have to record the episode which usually takes about

two hours and then Eminem and Andrew have to edit out all the things that we say and lots of burping I wonder who from and and then we but then we have the guest on then we have our usually record we probably take about seven hours to make two episodes in the office. Yeah, around that.

And then, after the record, M and Andrew have to edit it. And Em and Andrew probably spend two, three, four, how long, how many hours is? It takes about 30 minutes probably, doesn't it? If you really knuckle down. How long does it take to edit it, Andrew? It depends on how many things you need cut. That's you.

For example. That's you. Actually, the worst one ever was Helen. Yes. So how long would you say the average edit takes? At least another couple of hours, yeah. At least another couple of hours. So another, probably, each episode probably takes between booking, recording, editing, posting, probably takes close to seven to ten hours. And so that's what we use your money for. And we really appreciate it and we really appreciate you.

And it's nice that we have a team of friends. It's phenomenal. And we all get to earn some money. But I, yeah, obviously, yeah, we make some money off the podcast. Sorry, that feels like it's obvious, but thank you. And we pay Andrew and M accordingly. And I can't stress enough. we couldn't do it without you, so thank you.

But what it means is that we can continue doing it because it's not taking, like, it's something that when other jobs come in, we go like, yeah, but we've got this job as well. Instead of it's something that doesn't take, it means that it's important to us and allows us to do things like, yes, I'm finishing my tour now,

but then Catherine will go on tour, but there will always be one of us to be able to be flexible around the other one schedule. And also, I think we're probably, for a good few episodes, it costs us money to make. So it's such a thrill to be able to say that this is our job and we love making it

and we're just so grateful to you. So listen, if you support us already, this is just a way of saying, here's what we're doing for your money. Thank you so much. We wanted to be transparent. And if you haven't yet joined to the Patreon, then, well, well, the hell not. Don't you want us to make more episodes? Longer episodes?

More episodes? I think it's the best Christmas gift one can give to themselves. To give us money on Patreon? I agree. But you're giving to you, but you're also giving to us. And by us, she means her. And it's the season of giving. To us.

Oh, come, oh ye faith. Oh, I thought you're going to say, come all ye patrons. Oh, shit. Oh, come all ye patrons. Joyful and triumphant. Not join us and donate. Oh, come ye. And donate to us.

Hugs. Listen, we should have worked up to before, sure. We don't spend our money on singing. Love is all around me. And so the feeling grows. And so the feed. Podcast feed grows or so the podcast feed grows

or so the podcast. Thank you so much for your support. Thank you so much for your support. Thank you so much. Have a great Christmas. We're coming on the road hugs. We're coming Leicester. We're coming.

Manchester, Edinburgh, Dublin. Brighton. Brighton. Lester Bristol And that's where Clapham Grand And clapham grand

It's a little Longue on the tour Bye Beep Beep Do come though Please Welcome

Welcome Gabby Welcome Gabby Woohoo Oh wait Andrew had his headphones on And I just gave him a fright Sorry Andrew The vibes in here

I will say before we start, and we have started, are immaculous. Oh my gosh, thank you so much for saying so. Shut your whole mouth. I will not talk for the rest of the podcast. Just have said that. Oh my God, do not take instructions so well. She'll will be a bully about it.

Hi, welcome. Thanks for having you. You're American. I'm American. I'm American, the United States. But you look American. If I had to pick you in a lot, if I was in an airport, I'd like that lady's American.

I get that a lot, and I can't tell if it's a good thing or a bad thing. It is. You know what it is? you have an actually smiley face which very unusual for may I say women who are so beautiful because you don't have to be cheery right you could just be hot

but you're cheery and hot and that is an American habit and you've got hot hair you've done the... It's fake. Is it? Fake hair. How much we're talking? There's a lot of fake hair in my head. No, there's... Clipin! Get in there. It's all fake! They're good though. They're good though.

So my... Those ones are good because I'm not seeing a big black clip or any sort of... No, it's little hidden. That's very good. Well, you see, I have a twin brother and his girlfriend is a hairdresser, so she has to put fake hair in my hair, my head for free.

Oh my God, six. So even if you didn't need it, you should get it because she has to. I'm going to take advantage of my situation. I genuinely thought you were going to say... I can't believe you lied to me, and it's so gorgeous. What?

Well, that's not a lie. She admitted it straight away. I know, but I feel just way more comfortable with you now. No, it's all a lie. Listen, I have filler. Let's get into it. Oh, my God. Thank God.

Somebody else is here. I love this for you. Don't even worry. The judgment I get when I say that I get Botox on this podcast is intense. You do get some judgment. I get a lot of judgment. A lot of judgment. And I'm like, well, you try be on television and 35.

Exactly right. Here's the thing. I'm from New Jersey. I don't know if you're familiar with the lore of New Jersey. Yes, I've watched all the shows. You get it. So we are slowly. They go there for a dance competition and dance moms.

Very competitive in Jersey. We're serious. So we're slowly like freezing our body parts one at a time. So I'm going to be so, I'm not even going to look human in a couple years. Oh my God. I want to be... Are you making the most of looking human while you have it? Like, are you doing anything while you have the time?

Or are you going to just, like, before you become full frozen? Yeah, no. No, good for you. No, I'm just really running towards that goal. Excellent. Like a leisure. Running is quite nice so that you look like you're caught in the wind when you get there. Yeah, you look like it's constantly...

Like a photo shoot? That's my goal. That's amazing. Yeah. Well, it's good to have goals. And I... This is so exciting. Just an American, like, from New Jersey.

which is a good accident. Oh my God, there it is. Oh my God, do you know about the New Jersey Hill people? No. Oh, wait, we have hills? Oh, by the way, it's so funny that you were like, do you know about the lore of New Jersey and Helen was like, do you know the following things about New Jersey?

The first one you don't know. They live in swamps and they're off grid. Where? I don't know. Where did you read this? I heard it on a Chris Gethethad podcast about seven years ago, and I do not remember the facts. Well, he, okay, so there's this publication in New Jersey called the Weird End Jets.

Yes. And we all grew up, sorry, we all grew up reading this thing and Chris Getherd is obsessed with it. So it's like all of the creepy. Wait, I'm sorry, is it online or is it like? It was a magazine. If you could even remember what magazines were. Whoa, whatever you're doing to your face is really working because you don't look old enough to have even known what like print media is. I know. I have a TikTok face and it costs a lot of money. You really do. Wow. Well, keep spending it. It's worth every penny. I use lip balm. That's awesome. That's awesome. You know, I've also got a routine. That's awesome. Because they get all cracked and then I roll a cigarette and I put it on that I take it off. and the paper gets stuck to my loose skin. That's kind of chic though.

Thank you. I think that's cool. Yeah, everyone fancies me. I'm like, I'll have a cigarette with a bit of my lip on it and it'll be bleeding and then a guy will be like, I'll be like, leave it. Leave it. Leave it. I'm having a cigarette. Call me layer. Wait, do you guys say Maggi McCunt?

I learned that in, um, Liverpool. It means eat, you know, eat your pussy. Well, what does it? Moggy. Magi. Moggy. Mugent. Me cunt.

I'll be honest. We don't say that. I'm not from Liverpool. and may I say it's a little forward from my personality but Helen would say it if she was Liverpool yeah you're hungry lads like yeah she'll say that area do you want a buffet like a hundred percent are you hungry lad I'm gonna do that do you want a buffet do you need to dip you know

oh my this is good because I'm doing all of the UK podcast and I'm getting that like slutty slaggy phrases from everyone and I'm just collecting oh those aren't slugsy or slaggy that gives it a compliment this is like a muntaminger thing What the hell did you just say? So just sort of like, a manta minga. Like dictionary definition. Yes.

In Oxford English. Andrew would look it up for us. I personally think of it as like a woman, bless her, who's just like. A man can be a munger. A guy can be munted, but he can't be a muntor. Okay. You guys sound like trolls. Welcome to our podcast.

I think of a minga as a woman with like, she's all. always moist, but not where you'd expect it to be. Okay. Listen, they are unattractive people, but they're also, and it's important, I think they, it's a, there's a relevant factor of, I'm a minna. I'm a minna. I'm like, there's also a list, there's something grim about it. It's not just like, oh, you're, you haven't been blessed with beautiful features.

It's like, you smell like a food that I can't place. Well, it's like, you know how all garbage, once it gets hot, smells the same. No matter what garbage it is. There you go. I think that's the beauty of this planet Earth. There you go. Is that no matter where you are and how slutty you are, we all. We all smell the same.

Everyone hold hands. That's so beautiful. I'm happy to be here. No one has ever alphaed this podcast before. I've never thought he's in town. You have head girl energy. This is very excited. But you're not a minger and I want you to know that.

Catherine's also not a ming. She knows she's not. I don't even know. I still can't grasp what it is. You're a babe. It's like what's the American for minger or munter? Well, Jersey Shore we'd call it. Do you say trollop?

Trollope. The field of Shakespeareans He went old English He was so wild It was like what's the American Trollope In New Jersey we'd called a grenade A grenade

Yeah or like a slam pig That's brutal Oh yeah they call it bush or swamp donkey Or bush pig in Australia Yeah Yeah okay a slam pig A slam pig Okay I'm a slam pig

Yeah Why do we need sexism If we're gonna do it for ourselves What are you talking about It's still sometimes a little fun I used to be called A swamp donkey by Australians I worked with

A bush pig Yeah, a swamp donkey. I didn't even know donkeys frequent in the swamps. This one does. Well, I guess doesn't Shrek live in a swamp and he has a donkey friend? So true. Oh my God, you are so sad. Maybe you do some research because that's like, yeah, because if you're going to come on the pod, it just feels like, oh.

Actually, watch all the Shreks before you go to the pot. Yeah, okay. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Sorry, weird New Jersey. I don't even know where I left us. Come on, you do. Come on.

We're in New Jersey Magazine. Chris Getherd. Chris Getherd, I'm slurring. No, but I did him hammered. Chris, yes, it was all about like the ghosts and goblins and demon lore of New Jersey. It's like the New Jersey devil. You'd get into that. You'd know where all the haunted houses were.

Was it joking? No, it was dead serious. Oh, gosh. Okay. And there was an article about my street that I grew up on. Yes, because I grew up in a deeply haunted house. I love how we all refer to the house to the road that we grew up on as my street. My street. Because our parents owned a property.

on the street. But it was mine above all. Yes, of course. But I lived in a haunted house and during I know. No, you didn't. No, you didn't. Yes, you did. Catherine, you weren't there. I was there, Catherine. I remember. Okay, my bad.

Just so, we had like a stream in the backyard and it was the hospital grounds of the Battle of Mammoth. Don't know which war that is. We'll not look it up. Civil. Civil. Civil. Civil. And there was nothing civil about it. Andrew, please look it up. It was civil. Battle of Mammoth, please, Andrew. He's had seven things to Google already.

Yeah, let me just close the tab about the dictionary definition of Manta. Yeah, of course. It was revolution. I was going to say the revolutionary, actually. Were you? That was my second choice. You were going to say the revolution.

They came one off to the other. They came one off the other. Quick, quick, we like battles. We like war. I love war. But that same. Shout out to all war. Oh, it's a historical.

Historical not present. What is wrong with the person right now? Oh my God. Historical. Shoutouts to war. No, don't fight seriously, stop. You just shouted out to war. You don't like fighting. You're like big scale or nothing.

I like men wearing matching outfits. I like the looks as well. You guys should watch sports instead. Let me say that to you. Oh, speaking of sports, putting a pin in seven things we've been talking about. And just quickly a brand new topic. What's your favorite sport? I don't have one, but I do want to have sex with a footballer.

Can you guys make that happen for me? Do you mean an English football or an American footballer? English. We don't have those. Could we make that happen for you? I can take you this Sunday. Could we make that happen for you? No one has ever been more divorced from, wait a second,

do you mean a male footballer? Well, I don't care. And you're easy with the premieres like that being in the premiere show. Okay. Oldershotown FC! Oh, I'm going to a sports match tomorrow night. You can come with me.

What kind of show? It's rugby. Yeah, my friend France is playing. I'm canceling the show. Is it men or women? Mainly, it's just they's, she's, days gays. Oh my God, I didn't know days played rugby. That's so included.

They love rugby. They do in broccoli. Let me say. Well, rugby is just gay sex with shirts on. Agreed. So I understand how it could be gay. If you can come and sleep with one of them. Well, they better be hot.

This is all I care about. I don't care about gender. You have to be hot. That's kind of nice. That's like take progressive and make a cello. Yeah. I love it. It's like progressive, but make it Republican.

Yeah. That's sort of my vibe. It's Joe Rogan Sicko mode. Oh my God. God. I didn't get the last part of that. Joe Rogan's sycoma. Sicko mode.

Do you guys have sicko mode? Oh, right. Sicko like, it's just extreme. Yeah. Oh, sick. I've watched Fia Factor, so I get the reference.

That's sicko mode. That is literally Joe Rogan sicko mode. Good show. Yeah, good show. Well, wait. Wow, I haven't taken one in breath. I'm like, oh, and you can't and you won't and you mustn't because actually then people will leave.

Okay. But no, it's important to say that we don't know any professional footballers. That's so weird. I old shoptown, enough state they'd be gagging for it. But I know a lot of lesbian footballers and they're very hot and we can definitely introduce you to that.

Okay. And we and I must say this need to go back to your haunted house and I can't believe I'm the one advocating for that because I don't believe you lived in one. But it feels important that we finish a conversation. One single story. Do you know what I mean? I've been on here for three minutes to be clear and we're eight stories in. Catherine's

afraid of spirit. Do you not believe in ghosts? She's afraid of spirit. Or you're afraid of spirit? It's afraid of believing. Neither. I guess I just don't think that if there are ghosts. I don't believe in ghosts. There I said.

There are two finally. Spit it out. I don't believe in ghosts. Okay. Here's the thing. I personally have never seen a ghost. So I could just be, it's, you know, it's all tales. Yeah.

It's all tales. And vibes. And vibes. Of course. Thank you for bringing up vibes in this girl podcast. So it was the Battle of Mammoth, the hospital grounds in our backyard. Revolutionary War. Revolutionary War. That's when we left you guys.

Is it called the revolutionary? Okay, fine. It's called Revolutionary War. I mean, does come and go, it feels like. You're right. You're so right. My apologies. Yeah. I'm the problem. Go on. How dare you? It's me. It's a revolutionary war. Okay. Thank you for being Haggabia. I'm actually really appreciated. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Um, yes. Okay. So deeply haunted area and there was a story in Weird NJ that there was a woman in all white as ghosts do.

It's like they never wear color. If you're gonna be modern, wear color, but it's always a white virginal gown. virginal gown. It's like grow up and she just haunts our road and walks back and forth and people will, it's just a main road and people will stop to like ask if she needs a ride home and then she'll disappear. See, first of all, I do not believe anyone in New Jersey is seeing a virgin creepy walk up and down the streets and is offering her a lift home. Well, no one in New Jersey is seeing a virgin. Well, so again I say, I'm not really finding this plausible. No, honestly, now that I'm retelling the story, I'm like, this is garbage. Yeah, come on.

No, stay with the... Don't lose it. No, I'm in it. And the virgin was me. No. So the people would like wind down their windows and be like, oh, are you okay, madam? Do you want a lift? Yeah.

And then she'd be like, oh, and... And disappear. Slay. Yeah. Which is pretty like a hot girl thing to do. Just like be whining down a road. I'm so lost and scared. I'm so mading Pixie Dream Ghost.

Very manic Pixie Dream Ghost. Manic Pixie Dream Ghost, episode title. Love it. Also, how was she linked to the war? I have no idea. Maybe she was just a nurse or something. Oh, so I really thought it would be relevant to the story, but you were like, I don't know, nurse?

Yeah, no, I didn't, I didn't draw the... Wanted women in the ward, nurse? I think they were only allowed to nurse. That sounds true. Yeah. Unless they pulled like a Moulon situation and they cut off their hair and put a helmet on. And Tangusong.

A helmet. Hey, boys. Classics back down. I guess I'm one of you now. I'm just a soldier named John. I honestly love that character. And I think it's the kind of queer I'm attracted to, the soldier called John.

Yes, please. Bring him to the studio. One American version of Boulat. Hey, I'm Jack. We're getting our, we're getting our dick, right. What a boy's a lad. Gabby, you're here for gigs, shows? I'm here for shows.

What are you doing? I'm doing 21 Soho this Friday. I don't know when this episode comes out. It might be after that. next week. Well, it's coming on. Okay. I'm doing.

Yeah, I hope you guys had the best time at my show. Yeah. That you didn't know about until a week later. I'm doing a show called Slags versus Sluts. And it is... What is the distinction? Well, you guys are slags in the UK. You two specifically.

I'm Irish. I'm actually very Catholic. We said the same thing. You said frigid. I said Irish. So, yeah, okay. UK slag. and then U.S. is slut? Same thing.

Okay, great. Is it Americans versus? Do you have to fight? How does it win? They're going to fight to the death. Nice. I really like live at 21 so hot. No, it's just a competition of who could possibly be slottier, and there's like segments, and then people are doing sets, and it's a wild variety show. That sounds amazing. Yeah. Second question. Have you and Olga Koch ever been seen in the same room at the same time?

No. No, I went to see her show at Fringe, but we don't know each other. I don't I believe that you're split from the same out yeah I'm like who is you imagine hello that she doesn't I don't know where she's from she's from Russia she's from Russia it was totally off hello how do you do Russian and my third question because yes I am finishing some conversations from earlier that I still want answers on pins there's pins I'm sorry but you have to understand I'm borderline okay with it because it's a man but I so um adult twins may I say freak me out. I'm a twin.

I know. And especially if they're identical, that's a no for me. I don't believe in ghosts, but they give me the fucking spook. I get that. And I think if you're hanging out with your adult twin

and you're, then grow up. Totally. But again, free haircuts from twins' partner. Not haircuts, haircuts. Oh, she did everything. Did she do it?

Don't even worry. Yeah. I was in there for hours for free. I had full sex with your twins to grow up. I blew my brother's girlfriend. I mugged her cunt. Can you say it like that?

No, we don't know. We've never heard this phrase before. I won't say I did that podcast in Liverpool and I couldn't understand a word anyone was saying like Liverpoolian accents. It's strong. Scouse. Scouse accents are so hard. Liverpudlian like pick one.

Yeah. Well, pool of puddle. Yeah, that's fair. That's actually fair. They were like us Scouse. I'm like, what scouse? That's not even close to the word Liverpool. They do have very strong accents.

But like I think New Jersey has some of the maddest accents. It's true. Well, Snooky's not a name, you know what I mean? Snooky is her name. It is her name. No, but it's not. Well, actually, it's not. Well, her name's Nicole.

Yeah, come on. What? Come on, you know this. Oh, that's actually pissed me off. I get that. It's Snooky. No, it's Nicole and Jennifer. Come on.

Jay Wow and Snuckie. I know Jay Wow. I know Jay Wow. Who's Jennifer? I know, indeed. But like, I like, is Long Island really close to you? Yeah. Okay, so you know Theresa.

Caputo from the Long Island medium. I don't know her, but we are trying to get her on our podcast, and she will not answer. Who is this? Teresa! You don't know Teresa Caputo. No, what are you about screaming, Teresa? Oh, my God. Teresa!

Teresa! Hello? She's amazing. That's exactly right. So she just wanders around her life in Long Island, nails the hair. Like, she's all ready to go. The hair. The hair?

The hair. The hair. Oh, my God. I love your hair. hair hair hair hair hair hair so far away in so many different directions one more time oh my god I love your hair

um no I see I'm now I'm hearing your accents too much hair your fucking hair better hair hair yeah your fucking hair she's got her hair and her nails and her husband and her kids and she lives with spirit

so like she's a long island medium yeah so everywhere she goes spirit comes and talks to her and then she's got stop cooking, be like, hey, okay, right, who's got a granddad? I can't do the accent. I'm going to do the accent, but it is going to come out English now because I've been doing English so much. She's like, talks like this, and she's like, listen, I'm getting a vibe from the audience that maybe your uncle died and he wants to tell you something. And he's like, don't swim in the swimming pool because I didn't clean it before

I died. And then everyone cries. And that would be her whole vision. And everyone's like, oh, my God. She's doing pool admin. She has a reality TV show. the Long Island I'm obsessed It's the best show on TV It's incredible But there's also like What channel is this?

TLC, the learning channel Of course And we need to remember that it is originally an education channel Before everyone starts slagging it off Because I'm done with that Slagging it off

Slagging it off Slagging it off Oh my god it all comes back Not what you think it is though Not what you think it is You guys are so confusing And you speak in riddles And I'm happy to be here

I don't know why I think Do you like riddles? Sure For fox sake Like you've opened a can of where you're happy? Are you happy? Are you happy? I don't know what's going on.

Look what you've done now. Look, we've done. Well, I have forest but no trees. I have oceans but no fishes. What am I? Do it again. I forgot it. I have forest but no trees.

I have oceans but no fishes. What am I? Shopping mall. A map. You're an idiot. Why did you see? That's so hard. Shopping mall.

Show you're working. Gabby, show you're working. Show you work. Where's the forest? I just said that. I didn't even, I panicked and I said, and I let my ass take over. That came out of my ass through. And I said, shopping mall.

Okay, well, listen. I travel the world yet I have no passport. What am I? My ex-boyfriend. Tell her she's wrong. Tell her she's wrong. I was going to say stamp, but each to their own. Yeah.

That's nice. Is this the man, the English man? yes i've dated a handful of english men though it's sort of my kink oh my gosh yeah i know it's a very weird it's really random you like them repressed i like them just like condoms left in you and farting half a two six well of course but every guy does that oh my god um english guys i just love how miserable they are and it's so like pathetic and i just love it they're so vulnerable they've all got like mental they're just like oh my life is like so horrible and i'm like why oh my god that's the worst thing i've ever heard of my life and that's appealing to you and that's my drama oh my gosh that was awful

why that is fascinating yeah but their lives aren't horrible like oh no you're gonna be like yeah but their lives are awful no english men just are like boo-hoo my life sucks and it's like you're fine No, you're fine. They do feel victimized, I think, a lot more than men from other countries in general. Gosh, that's amazing. Have you watched the new Squid Games? Yes. No.

Oh, my God. It's phenomenal. I think Gabby's out partying at the weekends, Catherine. Oh, right. I have a feeling that we're at home. You can watch it during the day. Yeah, but we're watching one Saturday, baby, girl. I like how you think I'm a party girl.

Do you love? I work, I work every night. I'm a comedian. I work every goddamn. That's true. That's true. Do you go out for drinks afterwards? Never.

How do you think she's keeping this figure in complexion by going out afterwards. Are you crazy? Come on. Oh, that's a good point. That's a well-rested woman. And then you go put on your face mask and you go to sleep. Yeah. I do that. Yeah. You and me. Look at us. You know what you, what we, I remind

like us to hanging out of. You're like Kate Blanchett, the Lady of the Woods, and Lord of the Rings. And I'm Arwen, live Tyler. Oh my God. You have to let this go. Oh my God. How many people have you said that too? So many. She said it on this podcast too many times. I'd say, so many times. Two weeks ago I said I look like Arwen. And then

today was the first time. And everyone was silent. I thought I'd like make that a thing. That's awesome. Good Lord. May I say that my point was Squid Games. The British men are like, let's just play fair. And an American man in his interview said the words I'm a competitor because Jesus was a competitor.

I love that. And I'm like what end game capitalist reading of the Bible are you doing, sir? Who was Jesus competing against by the way? He had to sacrifice himself for the sins of humanity. What do you mean? He lost, if that's what you mean. He gave up immediately, by the way.

Yeah, what are you talking about? He was a competitor. It was so weird. He was like, let me take care of the week and the sick. Who's like, it was wild. He was the son of God. I'm a compassionate because Jesus is a competitor. Yeah, because Jesus was a competitor.

Americans love to take whatever Jesus was and make him whatever we want him to be. It's wild. Yeah, really fascinating. But my point is, yeah, I guess you're not going to get that same pathetic quality for men who were like, Jesus was a competitor. No, Americans are so, especially American athletes, they're just perfectly dumb. Like Travis Kelsey, for example.

Yeah. Taylor Swift's boyfriend. Taylor Swift's boyfriend. I don't know if you've ever looked into anything he's ever said. Oh, that sweet, sweet baby boy. Is he dumb? He could barely read. Oh, bless him.

I know. My friend, yeah. He doesn't have to read. He's so good at football. It's really sweet. my friend Rosebud is a writer for S&L and she always She has a friend called Rosebud Yes, obviously she's got a friend called Rosebaud

I've got a friend called Helder I've got a friend called Helder Surprise! I've got a Hellberg five births at home Okay Rosebud Rosebud Baker She's an amazing comedian Oh my God, yes, she is, she's awesome She writes for Esenal and she has a story about

how she was walking by Travis Kelsey's dressing room and he was practicing how to read Oh That's so cute Thank you. Travis. Reading is hard. I know for him.

Yeah. Too pure for my heart. I know. I actually think it would be so showy offy if NFL players who are like the greatest athletes of all time could also read. Yeah, it's ridiculous to think.

Yeah. I'd read them before going on. Yeah. I'd practice. Yeah. Yeah. Wouldn't everyone else? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Am I done? Wait a minute. Oh my God. Am I thick? Oh, I love the phrase thick

Do you? Yeah, because that means like Bodacious in America But you guys are It means like curvy right It means like Like I'm thick Here it's like

Am I thick? Yeah Oh my god I love bodacious As they swap out for a thick Bodacious Yes and yes Helen So the question is this

I'm both versions I'm thick thick thick You're thick thick You're thick thick Gabby Bryant, what kind of advice giver are you? I give horrible advice. Really? No, actually, I take that back.

I actually cut that out. I'm just kidding. I think I should have been a therapist, and I actually give really good advice that offstage. On stage, I often give people advice that is just so wrong. I think I'm talking more like interpersonally. Okay. Yeah. You think you should have been a therapist?

I think I would have been a really good therapist. If I went into a route, I would have fucking lost. If I went into a room I want to talk about compulsory reading and you're sitting there. Yeah, you'd be mad. I would fucking lose it. Okay. Yeah. Oh, I'd rip every eyelash out of your fucking face.

I will say. And I wouldn't pay for the session. Oh my God. Genuinely, I was in a hospital, as you know, with mental illness over a decade ago. And there was a therapist, a psychologist who you did one-on-one therapy with. And it was about eating and also about perfectionism. And I walked into this woman's office. It was, honestly, like, immaculate.

The symmetry in this space was phenomenal. She was wearing a pencil skirt and heels. Well, that's offensive. She was so thin. She sat down and she was like, so why is it you think you focus so much on order and perfection? I was like, I need an out. I need a button. I need a button.

Is this a weird work? Like, what are you talking about? Honestly, I was like, happy. I was like, have you had a snack in the last eight years? Because if you haven't, you can't talk to me about food issues. Like, this is wild. She's like, I only eat hummus. Honestly, she was like, food is the thing I talk about at work.

It's not a thing I do. I drink water. I'm an adult. I was like, what are you talking about? So with the greatest of respect, we'd all be livid if you were a therapist. And your face would have been wasted in a therapy room. Put it on TV, baby. Well, thank you.

I'll take all of this as a compliment. But you think you're so good that you could be. be a therapist. I think I give good but and yet harsh advice. That's my favorite though. I do think the older I get the more I appreciate when someone goes look listen that's not like it's so helpful and it's like it's in the moment it can be a little bit like what but it's like no thank you for that especially about like a girl's boyfriend relationship I'm like he's an asshole breakup like I'm very unempathetic in that way. That's so funny I really do with you talking to one of my friends actually I think the harsh thought

and then I say exactly what it is I think the person wants me to say I'm like oh wow that's a horrible idea well listen you should get married that's what you want to do you have to honour yourself in general I do that but then a couple of times I think I've been very honest

yeah yeah I think I after the fact I'll be honest which is even more annoying as a friend to be like yeah I think this is correct but I think but on this I find it easier because they themselves are not staring at me right well yeah so we have listener problems oh great um have at it let's hear it under what makeup do you wear this is a um summer friday's uh lip butter can i put someone on yeah of course thank you did you say and look like you are you gabby's little sister now can i put some on and look like you can i wear your skin and

look like you totally i'll take my hair off i'll put it on your hair Dole would say it to her she'll be so happy Her face No, it doesn't come out Twins Okay On camera your hair is a very similar color It's so embarrassing

She already has a twin That makes me look dumb Do I laugh like that? Oh my God, my IQ is dropping Wait fuck I'm going Brunette I'm done

I'm going through that we're going through that oh fly oh my god one like two Rory Gilmoth Wait that's a perfect I have never felt like more of a Paris Roll the advice please

Well first of all Just going through the inbox Apologies to so many people who've not replied to But thank you for all your emails I have two options for you I was going to let you pick Either getting through

an emotional low point or a big life decision. Big life decision. Yeah. Great choice. Okay, so this is from... A personal eye point we'd just all like to say

Domino's Pizza. Yeah, a breadball. I think we just cleared about 30 emails from the inbox. Thank you. Flay. This is from E. Hi, E!

E says, I'm an 18 year old trans man and I'm hoping to start testosterone soon. Flea. I was listening to your episode with Sarah Pascoe, so this was a few episodes ago. Oh my gosh, E.

Sorry we're taking you so long to go back to you. That was basically last Christmas. Wow. It was exactly. No, Chris. Yeah, well, sorry. But here we are. And you're a 19-year-old trans man,

and we don't know whether or not you've done your testosterone, but we hope you did what you wanted. Oh, happy birthday. No, no, no, no, it wasn't his birthday. Listen, go on. Yes. But I am currently deciding whether or not to freeze my eggs. Because I do want children when I'm older,

but testosterone essentially makes you go through the menopause. To freeze my eggs, I'll have to take female hormones for a while and then get surgery, which I may have to pay for myself, and I don't know if I'm prepared to do. that. I've also been on an waiting list for four years and I don't want to have to wait any longer for testosterone. I've always wanted biological kids, but now I just don't know. Can you help with a bit of, you know, with this dilemma? I know it's a bit heavy, but you guys always make me laugh. And at the very least, I'm sure you'll make me feel better. Oh my God, what a sweet pumpkin pie. I feel insane

answering this as like a cis woman, but it is. It's insane for us to wait in. And also, let's be honest, we're a year late, so he's probably made his decision. You made your decision. But we could certainly retrospectively have opinions on something that's got really know we know right to. It's like thinking the same things and like trying to figure out what they want to do with eggs and then we can be helpful. I can speak towards freezing eggs. Okay, great. Because I think as you get older, you care less about like the organization of your life plan

where you're like, I used to want to have kids at like married at 32 or married 33, whatever. I remember hearing these plans all the time. Married at 28, childless for two years, baby at 30. second baby it's that yeah it was and then you hit 30 and you're like i just don't want to die that's all that's all i care about and let the wind take me you know so i think you may want biological kids now and then when you get into your 30s you could you could adopt like there are other options you may not even want kids by the time you're 30 so if it's going to ruin your life now and and ruin your especially being on a wait list oh fuck that like just you'll find a way

You'll always find a way. Yeah, I think that's interesting because I would say you have no idea what you'll feel like, so freeze the eggs because then you have to... I would 100% go that way as well. I would like options, options, options, but I think it's a financial decision

in so much money to freeze your eggs. Gender dysphoria that may well be engendered by getting more hormones is a very intense process to go to and actually, I think that it's legit to go ahead. And I do actually agree with you, Gabby, a lot which is to say that like, I am 35 didn't freeze my eggs

maybe should have but couldn't afford to at the time that I probably should have probably won't have probably won't have biological children I might but it's very probably well it won't be the biological child of me and the person that I'm having children with which I think actually in a way being queer sort of frees you from the like need for them to be yours yours and the other person, like the one half of each of us. Because you're like, well, that's not possible. So then if it's not possible, you realize it doesn't matter as much.

And then you're like, well, I'd like a healthy kid who's, or a happy kid. Or I'd like a kid that I can facilitate and care for. But I think beyond that, I wouldn't say you have too many demands. My point being, if you are happy, if you are yourself, you'll probably be a better parent to whatever child you have. should you want them when you are adult enough to have them which isn't to say that you couldn't do now

but come on you're 19, have a great lifee go live your gorgeous beautiful lifee. Have a great life E. Oh, alright yeah, okay. Comma E. Lifey. Have a great lifey. No, but what do you think, Helen? I think

I think it's very complicated. It is. You don't get to opt out with it's very complicated. I'm just like, okay. You're talking to three. I think you're a young man. Question mark, 30s? I'm 29, I'm almost 30.

Oh my God, you, that is amazing. Me too. I would say, no, I'm touched too. You could say 24 and I'd be like, okay. Really? Yeah. Botox. I just got a redone.

I feel better by my dream. I should get Botox. I'm addicted to Botox. Yeah, is it really fun? That's not really a good sell. I don't get a lot. I'm addicted to it. I'm addicted to it.

I'm addicted to it. I don't make any choices of bread. Wait, I love bread too. Yeah. Wait, there's something about Botox where you don't think you need it and then you're like, oh, let me just try it and then you look at your face

you're like, I look 3,000 times better. Gabby, I genuinely went in there the first time being like, they're going to be like, it's against the Hippocratic oath, you're too young, we couldn't possibly, you look amazing. We would have dared touch perfection.

Yeah, what a good business model for a lot. You could not possibly, they were like, hurry, quick, get in here, come on. You are 10 years too late. You're so late. Okay, Eve. I personally, right, I am aware of how much it cost to freeze eggs

from a couple of friends who have done it. It is, and it's an ongoing cost. Like, I mean, you have to pay for the storage of them. It's rent. It's another rent. It's, yeah, it's humongous costs. And then we have to do IVF for a possibility and not a guarantee. And it's not, and I think the, when people say things like,

oh, getting eggs, like you're clearly aware of like the hormone treatments, but like, you have to put your body into the state to produce the eggs. People can extract them. It is still like an invasive operation. like it's a really big thing for a maybe and the idea that having kids means it's biological I know is like shifting away but like it's such a big thing to I don't know I think I think yeah I'm deciding for myself at the moment whether I want to do it so I'm really bad at this because I'm like

It's such a massive thing. I do want to have a family, but I don't, I've never felt the need for it to be biological. But I also would hate to get rid of an option because I didn't try. But also financially, the trying for a possibility is so huge. It's mad. Like, if it was a free service and 100%,

I'd be like, everyone just like, keep your options open if you want to do it. Yeah, fill your freezer. Yeah, let's fucking do it. But like. At least the top drawers. I would give it a whole top drawer I think if you're in the financial position then 100% do it

if you've got money then I say just like do it and give yourself as many options in life as possible because options just make everything easier and more freeing if you don't just remember that like that you're not saying that you're never going to have a child biologically actually no for E they are though

because this is the change this is the putting their body into menopause Yeah yeah yeah yeah he'd be really going to it's now or never Yeah, well it was last year Hey Ellen Look, I guess what you're saying is We're all on the cuss

Get a cat, get a dog No, I think what we're saying is like, wait You and I at least Helen are on the cusp Of making this decision or having this I think I've made the decision Which is that I can't afford to And that I'll figure out a different way To have a family

Whereas I'm going to share my cell of this studio You're going to what? Sell my share of this studio You know we don't own the studio Got Botox then we're going to get our eggs taken out together, too. Maybe they could do it at the same time. Let's go together. Yeah. And while we're under, let's get big tits. I think we should do that together. These are my dream tits. Do you understand? Are they really? Yes. What comes? I have no tits. This, if you could give me one tit and

then I could spread in between them. Yeah. I want mass. You want to have like slow-mo vives all the time? I want to turn a corner and be like, you want to follow your boobs around the corner. I want people to look at me and be like, that's not even structurally sound. Wow. Yeah, that's my dream. Really? I'd rather, here's my advice to E, save your money on eggs, get tits. Well, you don't want tits. No. Get, um, get, um, save your money on eggs, get, whatever procedure you want, get the abs. That's what I said. Abs. Because we're twins. Yes, get the, get the implanted abs. That's, that's guy tits. I love how we went from being like, wow, a bit nervous about answering this as cis women to, how about you, a young trans man, just save your money and get tits.

Babs, whatever you want. I would say that was a fail. Next piece of advice. It's such a hard question, though. Would be therapist Gabby Brown? I'm a therapist. Get tits. We have time for one more problem.

Do you have time for one? But all I will say, Olornaw is once you've made your decision, be resolute in it. Like, you've made your choice and you go and you celebrate the next choices and options that you have in life

because it's not a closed door completely to like as far as creating a family. But like, once you're resolute in it, like, and then go for the next part. Right, I'm not freezing my eggs But look at all these amazing ways That I could create a family still in my life And like celebrate those

Instead of commiserating Because that's the only way You'd be able to like keep going with it Totally Hard agree, love that Hey Hey, Gabby Shout out to Squirrels like that

I want to say one more thing Yeah My mantra these days is protect my peace Protect your peace That was so amazing can't actually help my body actually cringe yeah we both stopped because we didn't have I couldn't look at you I actually couldn't look at you I couldn't say anything good so we chose silent you both are like just listen one more time we'll be better you got it so your

mantra my mantra mm-hmm let it hit everyone untit your assholes my mantra white girl to give us her mantra is my mantra that I learned from goop.com protect your peace. If everything is making you miserable, cut out things that are making you miserable. And then you could start building back in the things that you could deal with and the causes, whatever.

But I just think, life is too short to be miserable. Thank you so much for having me. I know. I regretted that too. Play the music. On my mic. Thank you.

Gabby, where can people find you online? You can find me on Instagram and tickets. talk at Gabby is Brian G-A-B-B-B-Y-I-S-B-R-Y-A-N G. Do you have a podcast? I have my own podcast called LaPodcaste L-A-A-Postrfi podcast with

gay comedian icon Zach Signior. That's available everywhere. I hate that you learned sleigh today and just cancel it. No, last week. Really? Yeah. It's sometimes that's one that'll hit, like, lit.

You know, when you say lit? You're like, you wish you could shove it back into your mouth. Slay. There has to be a count on this number of times. she said sleigh today because it's giving me a headache. My favorite thing was Pekand is when my housemates come back from doing a gig, I go, Slay King Slay. And then he cries.

Hell. And then he cries. He hates it. Okay, so wait, so La Podcast. La podcast? They can find you online. They can come see you at shows. Come see me at shows.

Will you be back in the UK soon? I'll definitely be back in the spring. I'm sort of trying to be bicostal, but instead of New York and L.A., it's in New York and London. Whoa. So I'm going to try to come back a lot and tour as much as I can. I'm doing that with Disney World. That's exactly.

Yeah, London and Orlando. It's the same. No. Have you been? Have you been? No. Oh, okay, cool. But I respect your wishes to go.

Leave it, leave it, leave it. It's fine. It's not worth it. It's genuinely not worth it. Does your... Why, do you go Milan or something? Or like, where did you go to Milan? Darling, I go to Milan.

Do you not go to Disney ever? I go, no. No. When are you going on holidays? Six flags or something? Six flags. Flags. And, um, what's it called?

We don't know you go there. Medieval times. Medieval times. Medieval times. I'm actually going next. It's also a history lesson. Which one? Which one?

The one in New Jersey. Absolutely. You'd love that. That'd be a great day. They pick a princess on each side. And you're going to eat up like a big thing of meat. Like a turkey. Gosh, well I'm tired.

Have a lovely day, everyone. Give it up for Gabby Friends. Protect your peace. Protect your peace. I mean it. She means it. I feel like I might have had Courtney Kardashian. and say that at some point.

Thank you so much to our executive producers, Guy Goodman, Simon Moores, Mary Fox, Annie Tonner, Sarah Deakin, Oliver Jago, Anthony Conway, Matthew Thomas and Madeline Quinn. And thank you also to our producers Richard Bicknell, L, Richard Bowles, Neil Redmond, Victoria Hutchison, Harold Van Dyke, Tim and Dom, David Walker, Rachel Larr, Sadie, Cachemore, Claire Owen Jones, Jess and Nick, Zoe, Sarah and Molly Ryan Fink, Cordelia, Rachel Page, Helen A, Tina Lindsay Graham, Marsh, Amy O'Eardon, Abbey, Key Webb, Matt Sims, Luke Bright, Leah, Kate Spencer, Tristan, Liz, Fawt, Tass, Chloe, Becky Fock, Emily G, Dean Michael, Glennis Wood, Stephanie, Stephanie, Sophie Chivers, Mark, Anthony. Why won't you separate them?

I can't believe you did it at two weeks and a ride. Sorry, keep going, keep going, keep going, I believe in you. Sorry to the producers. Carrie Sooth, Charlie, A, K.C. Haley, Warf. Thank you all so much.