Trusty Hogs - Ep128. Sinuses, Smears & Sherlock Holmes

Episode Date: April 4, 2024

It's another intimate episode this week (in all senses of the word), as Catherine & Helen catch up ahead of leaving for Australia. From sex drives to smear tests, we have a lot of fun as always, solving problems and creating even more...TOUR TICKETS: www.trustyhogs.com/tourThank you so much for listening!Support us at www.patreon.com/TrustyHogs for exclusive bonus content, merch, and more!Trust us with your own problems and questions... [e-mail] give us a follow @TrustyHogs on all socialsBe sure to subscribe and rate us (unless you don’t like these little piggies - 5 Stars only!)Thank you to our Patreon supporters...EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Guy Goodman / Simon Moores / Mary Fox / Annie Tonner / Stefanie Catracchia / Oliver Jago / Anthony Conway / Matthew Thomas / Madeline Quinne / Grace O'ReillyPRODUCERS: Richard Bicknell / Elle / Richard Bald / Neil Redmond / Victoria Hutchison / Harald van Dijk / Tim & Dom / David Walker / Rachel R / Sadie Cashmore / Claire Owen-Jones / Jess & Nick / Zoë / Sarah & Molly / Raia Fink / Cordelia / Rachel Page / Helen A / Tina Linsey / Graham Marsh / Amy O'Riordan / Abbie Worf / Matt Sims / Luke Bright / Leah / Kate Spencer / Tristin / Liz Fort / Taz / Anthony / Klo / Becky Fox / Emily Gee / Dean Michael / Sophie Chivers / Carey Seuthe / Charley A / KC / Hayley Worf / Aussie Steph / Hope Briggs / Jam Rainbird / Nathan SmithWith Helen Bauer (Daddy Look at Me, Live at the Apollo) & Catherine Bohart (Roast Battle, Mock the Week, 8 Out of 10 Cats)FOLLOW HELEN, CATHERINE & ANDREW...@HelenBaBauer@CatherineBohart@StandUpAndrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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I don't know I'm trying to think of an Australian version of Trusty Hogs I think what we need to say is we're going on tour Both of us to Australia We'll both be playing Melbourne and Sydney You'll be playing Melbourne and Sydney and Brisbane and Perth Fabulous I will be in Melbourne

I'll be at the Western 3 at the International Comedy Festival you can buy tickets for my show now and at Sydney I'll be at the factory theatre and you can buy tickets for my show now. And in Melbourne I'll be at the Greek which I have looked on Google Maps and it is very close to Catherine's venue. Isn't that so cute?

It's super close. And then, no I think you'll be picking me up. I think. I need to check that. But come pick us up. Come pick us up. Sydney I'll be at the factory theatre with Catherine and that's super close

to the ice cream place. Brisbane I'll be at Powerhouse and in Perth. Can a Powerhouse be inside of a Powerhouse? her house she will be. I'll be bloody there. And at Perth I'll be the Perth comedy festival for the Regal Theatre. Cool. And we'll also bring in trusty hogs live to Australia. Melbourne and Sydney bitches, it's on sale. I've never said bitches before my life. It felt really wrong. It felt really weird. I said it and I was

bitches get your tickets. No, that's hideous. Well anyway, see you there, Australia. Ozzy, Ozzy, Ozzy. No, we've been over this. Ozzie, hoggy, hoggy, hoagy. Yeah. Oh you both got it wrong we'll see you there hello and welcome to episode 128 the slowest ever episode

of trusty are we actually committing to this the podcast oh my god where we tell you about our perfect lives and you ride in with all of your little I can't even

you kind of do it I actually started getting angry I was like tired doing that. That was like exhausting. People were actually living that way. That was sleepy. That's so boring. Jesus Christ. Anyway, using in your problems, we answer them obviously at a normal pace. Through the fog.

Step forth the trusty hogs. Yeah, you're gonna give you problems and they will solve them or maybe they won't and that's your problem. They'll have guests and Andrew White on the tech

Oh, it's Helen and Catherine As the trusty hogs Trust the trusty hogs Or maybe not Come here to me, how are you? I'm good, you just did my hair I did your, well I fixed your lovely You've got some serious volume today

I washed it this morning It looks fabulous And we're loving your luck We're loving this whole vibe I've got on my new look We talked about the last episode You don't need to hold your boobs I do because it's like

It doesn't quite fit right so there's a bit of fabric that comes up over. A bit of what? Fabwick. And we both know you said fabric. Did I say fabric? Oh, Jesus Christ. Who's Fabio?

Oh, like in Ugly Betty. Yes. Fabia! And also that... You look beautiful. You look gorgeous. Hi. Hi.

You look beautiful as well. We always look beautiful. Thank you. We talk about how it's our last one before Australia together. We're in Australia right now. When you're listening to this. Are you excited? What are you most excited about?

And what are you most worried about? Okay, worries. I don't know yet. I'll think of them on the plane. Oh, really? You'll wait until you're on there to start thinking about worries. Oh, I tell you what I am. I got a bit worried about,

but then took myself out of it. Is that, so for this you don't know, every year, like a certain number of comedians are invited over from Britain to do Australia. And like, you sort of need to be invited. Otherwise, you can buy your way in and pay to go, but it's like so mad expensive so you sort of have to wait to be invited and then there's two

companies you can go out with and I'm with the company that most of you guys aren't with yeah we're with the bigger group so you're in the bigger group and I'm with the company that sort of like run Sydney and Brisbane and Perth hence why I'm there for six weeks but it means that you guys are all in the same hotel and I'm in an Airbnb with Olga and I wanted the Airbnb I know I could have asked for the hotel. Yeah. But then I so, as soon as I was like, oh my God, I got an Airbnb means they've got a kitchen, it means I've got a bit more space.

Yeah. It means that there's not that pressure to constantly be with people because you're also like doing your own thing. And then I got myself worried that I'd be outside of the loop because everyone's together. Right. Apart from us. And then I remembered that I'd be more panicked in the hotel. I'll cry either way, guys.

And also, if I may, I'm having the opposite problem, except that the truth is we'll keep each other in the loop. me a place where I can go and decompress and I'll keep you in the loop in terms of everything that's happening in the hotel. I think we're going to be the festival cry flat. Like everyone who needs a break is going to come to us. So we're just going to be constantly like buy boxes of tissues. Yeah. Getting wine. That's nice. I'm also worried they'm allergic to wine. And we're going to be doing like wine tours. Sorry I yawned. The histamines are hitting me differently these days. Then don't drink red. Just drink white. I don't like white. It's full of

tannins. Rosie, Rosie, Rosie, Rosie, you're born. I love. You were born to be rosy. But the thing is, you're a rosy girl. But even then, I still get sneezing and I make that itchy noise at the back of the... Do you know when you get hate...

Okay, anyone who's got hay people will know exactly what that noise is. I get hate people. I don't do that. It's very common. I don't like that. And then I feel a bit sick and a bit sleepy.

And like, I... How much are you drinking? I'm 32 and I now carry Gaviscon with me. But how much are you drinking? Sometimes, this one... Sometimes it's just a glass. okay that's crazy like it'll be the end of a night

and someone will be like oh you go you go to do you go and I'll be like oh have a glass of wine before I get to the tube or whatever

and by the time I'm on the bus I understand how conversation work no you know what fuck all of you we know I'm not the best conversationalist

and I'm always trying my best no this is so evidently the second record of a day that was the energy of a woman who was like so then I'm like okay and then she's like

all right So anyway, get to the point, which is that you know, I know what you're going to say, which is that you've started weird, watching weird videos, haven't you? It's itchy. No, what weird videos? Is this not connected to the sinus story you were going to tell? Oh my God, yeah, I want to talk about sinuses. Only because, okay, oh my God, this is a whole thing.

I sound like such a little bitch being like, surely there's the sinus story, but you weren't even guys. No, no, no, I was just saying I was allergic to-war. Well, I'm, because I'm fucking scared that we're going to spend all our days off in Melbourne at these amazing vineyards and wineries. Oh, no. And everyone's going to be having a glorious time in the sun, and I'll be there, burnt getting covered in boils

I'll be getting bitten by everything Why can't you wear SBF and... Well, stop... Oh yeah, yeah, wear SPF, like it's that easy to remember and then... And then, and then I'm going to be going through all of that and then on top of that, I'm going to be all like... All claggy.

Just wear bug repellent and sunburn. And then, oh, oh, come on. Bug repellents are a fucking con. No, they're a con. They're a con. Have you ever breathed indeed? I'd rather be covered with bites than breathe in any. more deets.

Right. Deat comes in a spray can and you have to breathe. You can get roll on. Can you actually? Yeah. Write that down. I need to get some roll on deep. I did not know that was an option.

Me and Francis had to like get asthmatic pumps out in Mexico because we breathed in so much deep one day. Like we huffed it basically. You can also do it outside and not keep your mouth closed. Yeah, we thought about that but there were raccoons outside so we couldn't go out. I can't. It was the whole thing. It was the whole thing.

It was a whole thing. I keep being distracted by how fabulous I've made your hair look. You're gorgeous. Thank you. Please take us out on YouTube. But I want to be able to enjoy everything and I don't want to have to like, but I'm also like maybe I get acid reflux from everything now. Good God.

When will the horrors stop? I'm with you. When will the horror stop? It's horrible. I had dinner the other day and it was like quite a quick turn around at home to like have dinner and run out to do gigs. And I was like, oh my God, by the time I was on the bus, I was like, something's bubbling.

something's bubbling and I felt sick and this one now I carry Gaviscon in my bag that's so sad I'm 32 and then I went to the doctors and I was going to ask about it but it wasn't that doctor's appointment it was a smear test so then you can't

no no no smear no no I love a bagel with your smear no you are not ruining smear for me come smear to me now no we are not ruining smear I really just don't really what smear was like a couple of years ago.

It's not a shmere test. It's not a smear test. It's locks. It's cream cheese. It's scalyons. It's a smear test. Smear. Oh, it's not as fun.

Say smear test. Right. Yeah, but if you had a choice, angry. Are we going to circle back to sign this stuff or what? We're going to circle back to everything. You know what guys? Can we just roll today? Can we just roll with it?

It's Thursday the 4th of April. When you say, can we roll with it? You mean, like, can we roll with your crazy rambling? Let's just let Helen B today. Can we just let Helen fly? You know what? Don't clip my wings. That's another thing.

I started listening to R. Kelly again. Why? I don't know. No, Helen. Honestly, I was in a taxi with Sunil. And World's Greatest came on. And I was like, this is an absolute banger. No, Helen.

This is bad. Smea. Okay, sorry, Smea. I was having a smear test. Let me focus on that then. Please. Yeah? Okay.

I think you need Ellen in to sort of structure out because this is a lot of place. Do you think we need a director for the podcast? Yes. Just for your monologues. I had a smear test and I was like That part we've established I'd say This will be good to get done And I've got it in early because I thought early in the day better

Yeah I'm having mine at 1.30 on Friday That's all right That's early enough still But I'm seeing Ed Knight afterwards so I hope he's gentle with me That sounds like we're going to fuck Ed's putting his wheezy little dick in you And you're worried it's going to poke your cervix He's not

I just met like emotionally. I hope he's gentle. What are you going? You're going to go meet up with Ed because you want to see if you can get slime country back on the air and he's missing it that much. Have they cancelled it? I didn't they cancel it. They just haven't made one in like six months.

Oh, well, I'll talk to about that, yeah. 100% talk to him about it, except paying for an office. They are. They got their own studio and then immediately stop making it. Oh yeah, for anyone who doesn't know, my house may and huge Javis and Ed and I, they've all been on this podcast before, amazing comedians. They started a podcast called Slime Country, which was like the, it was the enemy of this podcast. And they made a massive fuss of it.

And then they just stopped making it randomly one day. Even though they're paying for a studio. And they're paying for a studio. Whenever I think that I make bad business choices, I'm like, I'm doing fine. I went for a smear test. And it was with the same nurse who did it last time. And I was like, I was so, I was like really prepared to go in. Obviously, same as any time you go to the doctors, even if you're just seeing like, not,

the GP. I had like a couple of things I wanted to ask just to check in with. And she was like the most humourless woman. She was so humourless last time. But at the point I was like, hi, how are you? And she went, fine. Like really not up for it. And I was like, right, I need to remember to tell her I need the big, big speculum and not the little speculum, because they always give you the standard one. And I know I need big. And I said that to her and she went, have you had a baby, blah, blah. And I was like, no. And she went, you'll be fine. And I was like, I'm telling you. So obviously, it comes in plastics. I'm ruining the environment with having such a fucking massive cunt.

No. The massive cunt is the woman who didn't listen to you. Okay. Slay. Here we go. We're always like that here. If you're new here,

we're always like that. Believe women. Subscribe. Give five stars. Believe women. Go on. She unwrapped all of it and I'm fucking,

I'm naked, right? Because I didn't even do that smart thing. You know when you wear a dress and tight so you can just pull up? I did for some reason jeans in a little top. So like was like really like everything out. And I was like sitting there. She enwrapped it all and she put it in.

She's like, where's your cervix? Where's your cervix? She's like, looking up, looking up, and I'm like, oh, probably need the big one. And then she's like, we need the big one. Then she went, but we're out of the big ones. And I was there going like...

Well, why can you open with that, babe? Yeah, like, please, don't tell me. And I think she thought that even though I needed the big one, that she would be able to, like, jab high enough up and just guess if she scraped the cervix or not. Right, son of bike. So then she's like, maybe someone else has got one. So she goes through the door to get it.

These are doctors soft closed doors that move slowly. slow. So there's a curtain and then the door, but she pulls back the curtain to leave. Oh my God. And I'm lying there and the door opens back and I'm just like

snap my leg shirt. And then I can just see the voices, like see, see the shadows and the voices of people getting closer. And I'm just there going to and it just closes in time as I see the first foot step in front of the door. And I'm like, oh my God, oh my God, just please find a big one.

I don't want to... It's insane. And then she goes to get the big one and she comes back in and then she's like, oh no wait, I forgot this. She goes back out again. And you can remember when she comes back in, the door soft closes again.

I'm like, you are fucking mental. This is so mental. Because then I'm just, oh my... And also, smear test days. It's so tricky, but I was sort of like, okay, my doctor says now like a 30 minute walk away from me because I haven't moved since, like, my last address,

which means that my old address is getting my HPV results. So I'm like, I need to find out the courage to knock on that door at some point and be like, did you get a letter for Helen Mower? HP me? Did I just say yes or nay? Did they not just text?

I asked him if it was text, you would know this one will be a letter and I was like, oh, damn. You can't forwarded your post with the post office. And I didn't want to, no, no, none of that, none of that. No, I just decided if it's that important, and I'll find out eventually when they get arrested. And basically.

They don't arrest you for HPV? But she found by... No, they can't. Wait, can they? If you're really spreading it, though, like, purposefully. Helen, I think you should redirect your post. You say, all you have to do is go to the post office. You pay for one fee, and they just forward all your post to you.

The post office near me is mental, California. Yeah, but it's not any more mental than knocking on a stranger's door and asking if you have age. You get that, right? Actually, you can do it online. But I wouldn't have to see those people again. You could do it online. Yeah. You could do it online.

How do I change my Basically I can redirect your post online Can I actually? Because I've got the Royal Mail app Yes Andrew can you please note down to do that Yes So I do it at the end of the episode

This whole podcast You've just been making me Anem note down things that you need to do Which sponge is the mould sponge So Pete Sneil wants to know What do you mean? Yeah blue Blue in bathroom

You're keeping a sponge you're using To clean a mould sponge But then it's just going to grow more mould. No. Are you cleaning it? Does it? Yeah. No, because it's covered in mold spray.

So it's like it's dying on impact. And then I was like, we can't use this sponge to anything else because it's like mold spray is like really toxic. Catherine, I thought you'd be proud of me for having a specific sponge. He goes, thank you. Um, okay. So. Sorry, the fact that he didn't know. I feel unwell.

What's he using the other sponge for? And I went, that's not mold sponge. And I was like, we have to get. Or what? Like his back? But, huh? Like, what's...

No, he used a different sponge for cleaning mould. And I was like, that's not mold sponge. And I went, we've got to get rid of that or turn that also into mold sponge. Because you have to have specific sponge

for mold. Maybe he's made them a mistake before. Like, like, toilet brush. You don't use toilet brush to like get rid of cobwebs. You know what I mean? That's just for toilety. I hate you.

I'm saying I don't. I'm saying I don't. I'm saying I don't do that. Good. Okay. I clean the bathroom at the weekend. So, hang on. So sorry, you're there in the stirrups.

Yeah, so just to be clear, you're smeared tests. Yes. No, no stirrips, no stirrips. It's a lovely local doctors. No stirrups, just hands below your ass, like in fists. Yeah, so they can get the angle. And then you cough so they can get into your cervix, right? So.

I really wish we weren't having this conversation ahead of me having mine on Friday, but go on. It's so fun. But then because I was left alone, panicking for so long when she was trying to find this, like, large respect. Then she did it. Then she got air. And she like was like, all good, all good. And I remember last time when they pulled it out, there was blood on it. So I was really glad there was no blood on it.

It wasn't like I was on my period. She just scraped it so hard that blood came off. Helen, this needs a trigger warning. I was like, oh, trigger warning. Women's health isn't fun. Surprise. I just realized I'm getting my, I'm getting my wax on Thursday and my smear test on Friday. Lucky doctor.

Charming. Lucky Ed. waxed and wide let's go no no do you know what size speculum you have do they just always just the one that get out it's fine yeah it's the standard oh

sorry I don't know that's fine but then because I had so much time alone I managed to build up the confidence to ask what I've always wanted to ask at the nurse is I wanted to ask her to look in my ears while they're doing the smear

not during the smear I've always wanted to be told in a medical setting that I have a wax blockage and they need to syringe it and they need to film it for YouTube It's like a medical fantasy form When they check my ears they just say they're clean

That could happen But they did they did them They what? Did they squirt water into your ear Like syringer? Oh they just looked in my ears And went oh they're clean Yeah, that's what she did to me as well.

I was really upset. You're upset. Your ears were clean. I was like, I was like, oh, do you guys do ear syringing here? And she's like, oh, why are you having ear ached? And I was like, sometimes. Sometimes. But then, because I'm just, I always feel like there's something in my ear.

Like, I just, I don't know whether it's like mental. It is. It's mental. But like, there's something in me that's like, there's something blocking it and I can, like, feel it. Your own voice. And I, oh. you're hearing yourself. I got her to look in

and like she's a really small lady and I was like doubling down but like no nothing I was so upset because like I just it looks like the most I just I think it's like born again Christian

it looks incredibly satisfying it looks like you would have a new like a new lease of life my mum used to have it done all the time my cousin always speaks about like how amazing it is because she's like you go in to the doctors you get this like really satisfied

it feels like an itch I know someone who just had it done. I'm going to ask them how it was. Do it. Apparently, like, the world is so loud when you're outside of it. It's crazy. Let me just... That's a great idea, by the way, for NHS funding.

If they filmed procedures, then put them on YouTube for revenue. I think they get lots of years. And hello, guess he's just sticks the country. Broken Britain no more. Well done, Andrew. Film people's medical procedures. Didn't we do that for a while when the NHS couldn't help people? So we made a show called embarrassing bodies and put it on Channel 4

and made shit loads of ad money? Oh, yeah, I don't know they went to the NHS, though. I didn't know they went to Dr. Christian. I've messaged and asked, my friend, you've just had your ear syringed, how was it? I haven't really given any context. See, now I'm thinking about it. I'm like, oh my God, could you imagine just like... All I ever think about, though, when I think about that is the other extreme, which is that episode of girls, you know, when Leonard Dunn...

Oh, yes! I think about that all the time. Me too. I think about it all the time. Every single out of time I even see an earbud, she takes an earbud and, like, really puts it in way too far in turns and it's bleeding and it's horrific doesn't she like perforate her ear drum with it's hell it's hell do you do that though do you put cotton buds down there no oh my god i do emma's nodding thank you for your honesty yeah it's like i have this thing called ortex

as well so like when you do have like a wax build up it doesn't like it doesn't go anywhere it's just like coves in and out but it's sort of like i think it fizzles it because you can hear like a crackling sound. But like, I'm always like, don't use the cotton bud for two months and then it'll be a really satisfying ear clean and I can't not do it. It's unaddicted to it. My mom worked in children's hospital and genuinely thought those things were like actively like she was like kids were in there hearing all the time with like actually doing themselves damage because people don't know how to do a property like just don't go there. But I think I have bad hearing because I get that notification on my phone all the time. You don't have bad hearing. You just are a bad

listener. So, tell me about the sinus thing. Is that the sinus thing? No. What is the sinus story? Okay, so we usually need to know at home that we have a whiteboard in the office where we write things that we would like to talk about on the podcast. To try and keep us on track.

You might have noticed it arrived about three months ago and we've been really honest and sand. Yeah. And so you were going to talk about the sinus stuff. By the way, is your smear fine? I don't know. The results go into the wrong. house. Okay, fine. That's another question. Can I ask you this then please? And then I

listen. Please. If I want to stay with the doctors I'm at, if I change my address, will they chuck me out because I'm a bit further away from it now? It depends on whether or not you're still in their catchment. How do I find that out? You say, hello, is this address in your catchment area? But then it happens that they say no and I go, oh, prank, and then just hang up. You just say, hello, I'm moving to an address. I'm thinking of moving to an address. Can I check this is your catchment area. Okay. I'm thinking of moving to an address.

Yeah. Is this in your catchment area? Yeah. I realize the doctor's. And if they say no. Yeah. I go, oh, I won't move then. You don't have to call them.

You can just check on their website if it's in their catchment area. Can't you say yes? Yes, I go, lull, I actually moved like two years, guys. Can you please, can you please send me an updated STI and SDD results, backdating two years? Just check on their website. but doesn't change color or smell, it's fine. Just check on their website. Sorry, yeah, on their website.

You can check? I can, yeah. Can you check? On their website, if I'm in their catchment area. There you go. Yeah. And then if not, call them up and say, it's been two years and I've been lying.

Because when I go to pick up prescriptions, I give my old address as well. Is that really bad? Prescriptions. Okay. I did all of mine for Australia the other day. Oh, me too. I was so proud of myself.

It feels so good to be like... Mentally well. Yeah, it's important. Well, not like, I don't need them anymore, because I am cured, but like... Just for banter. Yeah, yeah, for l'all's. And just to make sure that sex drive is really low.

Yeah, might too. Hey, girl. You know what's nice about how you're staying with Olga? Yeah. You don't have to have a key to go to the toilet. As in like, you can just go. It won't be like if you won't get locked out of your bedroom if you go to the loop.

That's true. That's nice. That's true. And also, like, what are the odds I find myself from the street? Pretty high,

but Olga can let me back in. Yes, she can. And I'm in an Airbnb the other places we're going as well. We're like, we're basically just, we're getting like lovely little two-bed flats.

Is her boyfriend coming? Not until New Zealand. Okay. Yeah. So I'm going to have a very horny cock on my hands. Yeah, you are. I'm going to have an incredibly horny cock just gyrating our way around

all these charming Airbnb Bs around the country. And yet you're like, just screaming. And I'll be like, I feel nothing. I've gotten nothing for you. What are you nervous about for Australia then? Okay, the flight. I really am dreading the flight. I know you are.

I can't stress this enough. I'm not looking forward to that whatsoever. And I wish that I'd known Ellen was coming earlier and we could have afforded to sit beside each other. Yeah. But we are, we are. Also, when you check in, always worth asking. You never know.

they might be able to move someone. I'm quite anxious about all that we have to do and like making sure she has a nice time. When you bring somebody on a work trip, you always feel like, oh gosh, like I want to give you enough time and I also want to... But it's Ellen, I totally know what you're saying.

She's the best. She knows everyone. She's also super independent. She doesn't need to be handheld. I know, that's so true. Like, she would be more than happy to be like, oh, hey, you've got loads of work stuff to do today and you need to meet with these people and do works up with them.

She will just listen to Sherlock Holmes and go around. Great, because that's what she wants to do. Yeah. And, like, people do want to do their own thing. Because it's also, like, it's your work thing. I really have to get my head around the fact that she actually likes alone time. It's the past. I guess, yeah, fine.

Wait, is she actually reading Charlotte Holmes? She listens to the Sherlock Holmes stories when she needs comfort. Are they genuine? I feel like they might get a bit, like, repetitive. She seems to love them. Okay, sick. and then I feel like I've told you

such a private intimate thing about her because I told you about her shorter comes enjoyment we've said so much more and then I'm nervous about obviously about the show working in Australia like I've always find when you go to a different country

it's the thing you least expect that doesn't make any sense to people you'll be like you'll find out like hobby isn't a word to them or like it means something different and you're like huh huh so we'll see

I'm thinking of your show Your show is so wonderfully Human life In human and feelings Thank you Like I mean they're not like us The Australians They are different

I'm not like you I'm Irish I think I'm closer to the Australians Oh howgy Sorry I think I am All of you got the criminals I'm all right

Sorry you guys weren't You were forced to steal Because of the famine And I know that And I'm sorry And then sent to As a tool of colonel Yeah, sorry.

Here's my thing. I would, I'd like to just be good and I'd like to not get sunburnt and I'd like to eat in all the best places and I'd like, I just want the Australian fans to have a nice time. Waits you're worried you're not going to be in all the best places.

I always have FOMO in Melbourne. I have FOMO. I'm like, oh God, because everyone's always like, you got to go here, you got to go here. You're like, oh, what if I picked the wrong one? I cannot describe how much better I've gotten at that. Like, I used to always think I've got to visit every country in the world and when I'm there

I've got to see everything that's there to be there. Just do what you can do and what you fancy. Like, we're both in Sydney as well. Yes, we are. You don't have to do anything. I do really want to see that, though, because I just feel like, I might never get to go back to Australia. You never know.

But what's the one thing you want to do in Sydney? Before people start giving you listening, you've got to go here, you have to do this, you have to do that. What is the one thing that you're like, I'd love to have done that? walk from Bondi to that other beach Bondi to I know which one you're talking about The Walk

Ma Mama Mama Clavelli No it's like it begins with an M I think Manning Maybe That's Manning I don't know Anoray Either way

Monterey Manly Manley There we go I want to have brunch at Bondi And walk to Manley and have lunch We'll do that then Do you want to come

Yeah that is perfect And then everything else I want to do I didn't do this last time even though I was there for like two and a half weeks. The botanical gardens down to the opera house and then the train goes like straight to the area we're doing our shows then.

Can I do that with you? Yeah, 100%. But then everything else can't for us. You need to eat there. You need to go see this museum. You see this gallery. You need to. Yeah, I'm only there for five days.

Relax. If you do it, you do it. If you don't, you don't. There's something wonderful about being like, hey, do you want to meet up for brunch and just spontaneously going for brunch. I'm going to go chill out until I do my show. You're there for so long.

You can go to the cinema. Oh, not in this. in Australia. You can do that anywhere. I'll be at the beach. I'll be water boarding, no. Would you do the...

No, paddle boarding. Waterboarding. You can't go to Melbourne if you're not going to waterboard. No, that's the wrong one. Whoopsies. Oopsies. I'd like to see Gadsby's new show.

We will see Gatsby's new show. But things like... Yeah, when people go, you didn't go to eat there? It's like, no, I didn't. just like, in the same way people go like, oh, you haven't seen that film? Fuck off.

Yeah, you're right. It's our life. It's our life. Fuck you, it's our life. Get so angry. Get out of here. We're, we can do. You live in London and you haven't been to this?

We'll, look, I'll make a spreadsheet and we'll stick to it. Is that what we said? Have you actually made a spreadsheet? Because you tried to do this the other day. Do you remember when you were like, and we need to make sure we get that coffee in before we go to Melbourne so we can plan what we're doing each day. Are you fucking joking?

I'll make my own. Why? No, but it's a, it's a, it's a, It's, it's... You know what, Olga's already got a spreadsheet? You talked to her. Oh, do you think she'd share it? Yes.

Just do a shared Google drive with you if you want. That'd be heaven. She did every gallery in Sydney. No, there's no need for that. Every museum. No, no, no, no. Everything. Some days, I just went out for a coffee.

Oh, yeah, that's fine. Because those coffees are. Banging. But, like... It's so good. I remember, like, I used to shout at us and stage a lot last year. It's stronger.

It is. Oh, definitely is. You got to go easy there. I did not know. I agree. My first day. Have you had any Vietnamese coffee while you're there? Yeah, not my thing. Oh God, I love it.

I love it. I don't mind it iced. Oh yeah, it has to be iced. But like as far as like a neat Vietnamese coffee, it's not my choice. No, I just like the condensed milk sugar high. You would love Malaysian tea, Teatac. It's condensed milk. It's like pulled like chai. It's insane.

Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. I take you Malaysia. Yes, please. We'll go on the way back. Love to. You have to kick around Brisbane and Perth for two weeks, so. My first boyfriend was Malaysian worth the wait. Oh, you're going to love it so much.

Nice to visit. Nice to visit. Yeah. Is he lived there now? No, he cheated on me a lot. Oh, no. How old were you? 19.

Oh, no. Do you don't talk about it? No. Okay. So, but you're excited for Australia, not all fair. Yeah, sorry, wow. I'm excited. Ooh, we're back, Anne, we're back.

Hey, Andrew, you got any problems? Many problems. can I please ask just before we get into problems what is the sinus thing? Oh yeah, the signet. This whiteboard is not working out. Even I lost track. Mine is that, okay, so we've both got,

I've got a DV8 septum. What do you have? Oh, my whole life I've been diagnosed with all sorts of different things. They're always like, hey fever, rhinitis, lots of different, basically like constant issues. And recently I finally got to go to a doctor

and he was like, girl you got to go to an ENT specialist and I was like dude I have been begging everyone to let me go to an ENT specialist so I have a appointment in May where they're going to put a camera up there burr-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l- how are they even getting it up there I don't want to know yes and then through to the side oh I was hoping they just go butt here's the thing that was a to hell and joke nothing for that thank you M nothing for that sorry can you say again please I was hoping they just go butt come on yeah they're going up my nose it's horrible really

really sometimes I wrote like I just like you write for me yeah and it's like nothing nothing go on I think maybe just say it louder and I'll be like but I'm like yeah um there's like so obviously you can get the operation where they remove like this big bump in my nose that means I can't breathe through it because I breathe through my mouth right but they in turn straight your nose more it's like it's like it's like a nose job but like they remove it but it's like I don't want to have a nose job because it's like that's my face right but then I'm like okay at some point I probably will because it's sort of like it is

I'm sure it would be I'm sure it's nice breathing and you want to break LA everyone else seems really happy breathing sorry and you want to break LA and I want to break LA thank you see it does work but I also

I keep on getting these videos on like my Instagram of like people getting like a chiropractor on their face hello go on so they're like doing like oh like they're like working the nose

with their thumbs like you would with the back for like a realignment and then they go and then they're like I can breathe and I'm like that feels fun it's a realignment so however long it takes to get unaligned

but how long is that I don't know how often people go to a chiropractor all the time don't they it's like a regular thing for some people but I'd rather that be put under and have a different face okay wouldn't you put it like that but you're going to book regular appointments

of the chiropractor I think yeah That's the thing, isn't it? That's really another thing to keep on top of. I think it's easier to get a new face of a new personality. Was that unkind? No, I just mean like, it would take a new personality. Was that unkind?

Was that unkind? Have you done me an unkindness? I can't tell. I'm too thick. Do you say something unkind to me? I just mean, like, neither of us finding time for a car. You're so busy. And, like, you don't even remember sometimes to, like, wash your hands.

I always wash my hands. I just don't dry them. Okay. Because I think drying them on yourself is absolutely fine. and it's at the point of standing under an air dryer because on average people spend 10 years under an air dryer. But sometimes it's nice to make up facts. Ten years of your life has spent next to a Dyson Airblade.

Behave yourself. But I think it would be like... Sorry for yawning. I yawned again. What's wrong with me? Wow, I'm so sexy today. Oh, sexy sleepy. Sexy girl.

She won't remember anything. We should... I think we should go for facial realignments together. I'd love to. And then I would. want to go to a Reiki session. No. And I want to have someone transfer some energy out of me.

That's a no. So the opposite of most people. So I'm a little bit more like, hey. I do think you should just make that your new personality. Sleepy. What about I'm just smoking weed all the time? Well, I am a pot head now because I've got gummies. Yeah.

And I've had them about like 10 times now. Yeah. Yeah. What about just doing it during the day? How much if I jump in front of a car? or something. Why would they jump in front of a car? Yeah, why would I?

I don't think so. But isn't that? Don't you think like sometimes that is like bad company pot hats? Yeah, but I think it would just sort of normalise you. Really?

I don't know. I'm not a doctor. Should I do an episode where I'm high? This isn't some kind of smear test. When I'm back from Australia should we do on my episode? Yes, I would actually love that.

Let's give me, I'll take a handful of gummies and we'll just have to roll with it. But, but I get to, I get, I have the right, I have the right to say we can't release it. You got yourself a goddamn deal. Promise. Yeah, deal. Okay, we're doing it. We're doing it. Wait, no guests as well.

Obviously not. Obviously not. Should I do shrooms for the first time? No. No. We'll just do gummies. We'll just do gummies. Do you want to do it with me? No, just me. Just me hi with you regular. Yeah, one of us has to keep you safe. Yeah, one of us has to keep you safe. Telling you now, you will love it. I will laugh at everything you say. Like, Sunil could not believe it. Hey.

That's not funny. Andrew, do you have any problems? Yes, that was good. Andrew, do you have any problems? This is from C. They're addicted to pot. Oh, that'd be funny, wouldn't it? No, go on.

No, not funny. Sorry, everyone. Ready? This is from, we'll keep it anonymous, from Dee. Hi, Dee. Hi, Dee. Go back to school deliciously with Whole Foods Market. Wake up with low-price 316.

by Whole Foods Market protein waffles and breakfast burritos. Prep lunch boxes quickly with 365 brand juice boxes, crackers, dried fruit and more. And look for sales on no antibiotics ever ground beef and chicken breasts that make meal prep a breeze.

Shop best in class fines for back to school at Whole Foods Market, in store and online. Ds, Ds, D says, hello, trusty hoggies. Hello. Huffington, Andrew. on the Tech White

This is a very praising Oh God, I wish you could see Andrew's face Oh yeah, that was so smart Put the camera on Andrew's face Go and say it again From the effervescent Andrew on the Tech White

Oh So smart Go on After hearing you on Pappy's Flatchair slam down I started trusty hogs from episode one in January That's so nice

Currently training for a half marathon And I'm now 60 episodes in Oh my God, congratulations Some notes on binge listening so far Number one, I will never stop singing your theme tune I forget every episode that you're quote unquote solving problems and that isn't just a pure chat slash interview podcast Yeah, I don't know what you mean.

I forget as well sometimes you say to the guests like What sort of problem solver are you and I was like oh my god this is the former What do you mean sometimes that's every single you haven't once asked a guest is that? No I did actually the week you weren't in Oh, come on. I actually did ask it, and I was like, I can't believe I'm actually asking this question. Good Lord. Because normally I go, problem's solving.

Number three, Catherine's half-marathon experience was weirdly motivating, despite her final statement essentially being, that wasn't for me. Sorry. Number four, this is written. I'm not just making this out. Love it. He says, I find myself inexplicably infatuated with Andrew. Fuck off, Andrew.

No, it doesn't say that. Yes, it does. My prince has been chosen. Prince has been chosen. Sorry, my pig fainted out of disbelief. I love you, Andrew. This is so amazing. Keep going.

I'm not normally one for podcast crushes. Thank you, Dee. I appreciate that. But here is Dee's problem. Andrew? Yeah. You got picked. I feel like he's the alien and like, you know,

we're like, the class. Oh, that's nice. That's nice. Andrew has to leave now. Is Dee? Do we know the gender of D? D is. I believe contextually male.

Oh, yes, male. Okay. Okay. Contextually, by which I mean, fancies me and I want him to be a man. No, no, no, but a straight man with a wife. D. I love you. Maybe he just wants to be a friend. It might not be straight. He might be buying married. Yeah, true.

True. Sorry, apologies. Yes. No, I'm arranged, Andrew. I know. I'm a home worker. What? Catherine also went along with her. It was me that was seeing what happened there. Wow, you're so woke. Because I see it for D. Good Lord.

So here's my problem. My wife and I are on a weight loss journey together, but she's having a much harder time of it than I am. I've lost seven stones since we started, and she's lost one stone, which is impressive, but obviously she feels despondent. Yeah. The main difference between our routine is my increase in exercise.

That's not the main difference. The main difference is your gender. Yeah, true. but she is sorry yeah fair this is fair point um but she's always upset that she's not able to lose as much weight and she feels unattractive i'm always telling her and showing her how attractive i find her and um what can i do what can i do to help her feel sexy that is my problem you know my rule for weight loss if you want to lose weight quickly gain a ton of weight and it will drop off you the bigger you are the quicker you lose weight if you look at those biggest loser

episodes from back in the day you go on that 700 pounds you can lose 20 pounds in a week stress. You go on that £200, you're losing five tops, you know? It's a gain to lose. First of all, I do think that we just need to, like, say we're not doctors. The second thing that we need to say is that there are lots of takes on whether or not trying to lose weight as a couple is a positive or a negative thing. I don't want to sound like we are inconsiderate of those things. But this person... They're both consent to do it and we support you do what you want to do with your body. Exactly. Exactly. And with that said, I would just like clarify what I meant by their gender being the difference being that

like I do think that you can often be two people going if two people if Helen and I ate the same food every single day we wouldn't have the same body wouldn't have your food yeah exactly but my point is like if we even if we did have like if any two persons

for breakfast was that if any two persons had the same guy they wouldn't have the exact same body that's not how metabolism or biology works it does for animals though all ants same body And the other thing to say is that gender obviously plays into that as just like physical and mental health, as just like body mass, as just like loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads of loads and loads and in general breasts weigh more than balls. So just like, so I don't, I just want to flag that. In relation to the question of how you make your wife feel sexy, I think it is a complicated one because you are sleeping tablets. No, you fucker.

because there are two counter... I'm really hoping they listened to last week. Yeah, otherwise it sounds really super fucking toxic. Even in that context it sounds super toxic. Here's my issue though, right? Like you do have two counterintuitive narratives there, right? On the one hand that like thinness is good because it's your goal.

Listen, you... And that might not be how you see it. And on the other hand that like... And that you're both trying to do. change and what you're trying to change away from is that which she is or sees herself as and simultaneously that she is sexy and attractive as she is that is like a very hard thing to navigate so i think i've heard this problem differently than you've heard it the problem is that she's not reaching a goal that she wants and she doesn't feel sexy because of like the failure

is that what it is um no she doesn't feel sexy in her body and he's trying to make her feel sexy in her body but i think when you're both also trying to change your bodies away from what her body is that's a really hard thing to convince somebody else right right right right i'm with you now but we don't necessarily know the goal is thinness right uh no no just to lose weight the goal is to be smaller than they currently are right okay the the exact wording says that she is upset that she's not able to lose weight and feels unattractive oh yeah but my point is like i think it's understandable if that like that's i don't think that's as simple as you saying like i think as you saying i think you're sexy because

you know your actions and intent for both of you your stated aim at the moment is to not look how she looks and that's like that just is a complicated

way to be and I think you need to very much clarify then in that case that the goal isn't if it's not thinness if it's like a specific like strength thing

or whatever it might be so that they're distinct from one another but also like I do think like that is a complicated line to blur and possibly um taking her out going on dates that maybe aren't associated with food not because of weight loss but just so as like that isn't the main topic

of conversation um sure and also um potentially considering like i think if you guys are really trying to like lose weight and maintain your sex life and tell each other that you're sexy and change your bodies like a little bit of external that feels like a complicated thing to me I would be trying to do couple therapy at the same time but then I am like a real complicated like no I just think those are really big things that are really hard to hold at the same time and what I'm trying to say to this person is that like it's not that you're doing anything wrong to be very clear but rather that like that is complicated and it's something that comes up in a lot of relationships and I don't know had navigated because I've never managed to successfully do that and like you're not unusual for

not being able to convince her that she's sexy while she lives in this particular world and tries to change your own body. What's your advice on being made feel sex? I think it's, you want to support her but the thing is you already think she's sexy so all you can do is just keep thinking she's sexy and like the brain is a horrible thing and it'll be there one day, it'll go away but like constantly ask someone why they don't feel sexy. Do you not feel sexy? I think you're so sexy. It can create a complex to just just be like you're fucking sexy you're so sexy like tell

them that you think they're sexy but don't question why they don't think they're sexy like you're trying to be supportive you're trying to be loving just be like you're fucking sexy because obviously you think they're sexy flirt and I think cheer when they take their fucking top off cheer when they take their pants off

see even that for me is like just don't just don't just they're sexy let's not dig into it and if you were feeling uncomfortably in your body and you took off your top on someone cheered. You'd feel like they were doing a performance for you now. Oh, right. I guess I meant more like respond to it in the way that's

positive. I respond to it positively but don't do... See, that for me would make me feel like they felt like they had to which would make me retreat more. I can only cheer when you take your job. But that's different. It's not like

that's different because I love you but I do not need you to find me sexy. I love that you do but I don't get any self-worth from that. Does that make sense without sounding really nasty? I get self-I like that you think I'm sexy, but you're not some... No, I do know what you mean.

I, if I wasn't sexy to you, I wouldn't feel any less love from you. Wow. That's a compliment. Wow. I see how it is. That's nice because you make Helen feel so love. I'm so secure that even if I wasn't feeling sexy at all, I wouldn't need you to, like, correct that for me. If I hadn't had a bow-toe,

this week you'd see how few are doing. Do you not think that's a nice thing that like I don't need? I think it'll be nicer if my attraction to you mattered more. Your attraction to me doesn't matter because I know you think I'm beautiful because you tell me so, so much that I don't need anything else. Well, in essence they were saying the same thing, which is like consistency of actually rethinking this thing. Consistency, but I don't think there's any conversation or anything you're missing saying that can change it without making that person feel more self-aware or more it's like if you tell someone you're losing weight

or you're saying like I don't really like this thing and then they're sort of like check in on it and it's like never check in on it just be supportive don't say anything don't comment on if I'm having a salad even if I'm having a other don't positively comment or negatively comment don't comment I think saying that they're just sexy yeah end of

right I sneezed excuse me do you but like Sweet sneeze Because we are different Would you rather someone consistently say to you Yeah Okay

So yeah You're gonna have to figure out If your wife's But I don't feel sexy ever And I need to be Told that I am To believe that you still think it My worry is that

You're so sexy My worry is that the person That I love has Stopped feeling that way You're so sexy That's nice But my worry is always That they've changed their mind

We're stopped Yeah because I've never had trouble having sex with strangers or like having sex and started relationships but it has often like waned to a point of non-existence and I think that's like totally partly on me and partly that I like love to fall into the role of mother in lots of context

but I sort of make it my own fault so I kind of need the other person to be like I still think you're like hat and sexist. You need someone that's into Mills so that's the thing with you. Yeah. And I found it. She's a sexy mom.

She's a mother. Fucking Stacy's mom has got it going. I hope that answered it. I'm sorry it's not very clear, but you do need to figure out we don't know your wife. But it seems like from her. I want her to be so happy. That's the thing.

I really, I want both of you to thrive. And I love that you care enough to write in and ask this. I think that's so sweet and just so aware of the fact that like the thing that, Yeah. I think the thing is that you basically figure out what makes her feel sexy, what makes her feel affirmed and keep doing that. And it seems to me like you are going to be capable of doing that, given that, like, within three seconds you had Andrew, like, genuinely batting his eyelids. Giggling. So I think that you probably can tap into what will get somebody's sense of approval up and their sense of worth up. And also I think... Always have a stiffy. Whenever she's in the room. I actually, that's like a huge benefit of dating a straight man. Like, it's honestly, something. something to be said for a boner to be like, well, obviously. If you walk home and he goes,

yeah. It's like, this feels good. Yeah. And then the other thing to say is that, um, and that like to just be cognizant of the fact that of course it's complicated, of course if you're both losing weight and simultaneously trying to say that all bodies are beautiful. That is a complex contradictory message that you both have to hold and understand and deal with. And, and that it's okay maybe to like look. to therapy while you do that because that's

complicated. And I think final no, if you're still wanting to change your body shape and it's not working, Special K is still very much available and on the shelves and just remember do weigh it out. Do not give Kellogg's your fucking money. Do not give Kellogg's money. If it's over 30 grams,

you haven't too much! Did you hear that conting CEO talk about how they were getting into people? There was a new trend for people eating cereal for dinner and they were interviewing That's not a new trend That's the lazy person's dinner

No get this It's because of the cost of living crisis And so this news interview In the States was like Yeah that's like You can understand that We could try it as a bad thing And he's like no no it's amazing

We're getting so much new spikes in fact And it's like you motherfucker You watch the video I'm not even doing it justice He is like an absolute unempathetic robot And they're like sorry You'd realize this because people are starving And he's like yeah

It's so much cheaper to have our cereal than it is to have like a balanced fucking meal. Fuck, Kellogg's. I'm just, yikes, yikes. Wait, hold that. We need to wrap up this episode. I'm going to watch this.

Let's talk about this in the extras and do some more problems. Sound good? Yes. Okay. Concludes, by the way. Sorry, D concludes. D concludes.

D-concludes. That's up my face. You never do that. You're so good. D concludes. At this pace, I should be up to date by the end of May, so it'll take me a while to know

if you choose this email, but I'll keep my fingers crossed and keep my ears peeled. Thanks for all the audio emotional support, Dee. Oh, also good luck in your half marathon. Can we also just say, like, good look on your half marathon and also like, never do that again. Are you finished?

Wait, don't listen to this one until that. Don't listen to this one. Okay, are you done? Are you finished? Are you finished? Well done. Congratulations. Come here to me. Come here to me.

Come here to me. What have you proven? What have you done? So what? And what? Do you know what? It's like, you're a feeder sore. Okay, cool.

And now you feel what? You're going to do a full of my... No, you're fucking not. That was hell. You know that was hell. Don't do it again. Ten. Ten is a gorgeous running competitive pace. It's something you're going to get faster at. It's something you can do within an hour. It's a beautiful race. It doesn't touch your knees. It doesn't hurt your feet. You don't feel the absolute absurd and shocking need to shit right after. Come back to me. Come back to me. Come back to me. Come back to me. Over here. Over here. Good lad. Well done. That's amazing. You really caught the running bug, didn't you? I love it. Goodbye. Sorry, goodbye. Doodles! Bye!

Don't forget to buy tickets for all the Trusty Hogs tour dates at Trustyhogs.com forward slash tour. We're going all over the country and indeed the world. We're in Australia right now as you're listening to this. So check if we are near you in Sydney or Melbourne. You can also buy merch at trustyhogs.com and you can get merch discounts at our Patreon where you can also get extra episodes every week, early access, ad free content, live shows for 10 pound plus. And if you want to be a producer, you'll get listed in the credits and get a special mug.

Thank you so much for all your support and see you next week. Beep, beep, oink, oink, motherfuckers! Woo-hoo! Hello and welcome to the executive producers line. Sit back, relax, and let us thank you. Simon Moore's Guy Goodman, Mary Potser, Annie Tonner, Stephanie Caprachia. Oh, hello, newcomer, and welcome. Oliver Jago, Anthony Conway, Matthew Thomas, Madeline Quinn and Grace O'Reilly.

Can we get you anything? Oh, that was so creepy. Thank you. The Can We Get You Anything was creepy at the end. Did you not? I wanted to go for a stepfruit wife. That is 100 Nicole Kidman. Thank you.

Okay. Wait, what should I do the producers list in? Slominate. Like pumba? I wanted to be like Ryanair flight. Oh, Ryanair. Hello! No.

We're from County Dingle Doodle. What? Wait, wait. Isn't there a canticle like Dingle or Degel or something? What's it called? There's a place called Dingle. Dingle, was it? Sorry, just to check in,

what do you think Ryanair is? An Irish airline. Yeah, but like, it's not from Dingell. It's not from, where's it from? Dublin. Why don't you just do a normal accent, but that's like more like... They're Irish people that work at Ryanair.

It's based in Ireland. Think like Icelandic. No, like... Stacey Solomon. Thank you. I love Staisais. Mom's job at which is. Yeah.

Okay, breathe. Stais. Bye, thank you so much to Richard Bicknell, L, Richard Bold, Sadie Gashmore, Zoe, Rachel Page, Halliday, Abby Wharf, Luke Bray, Kate, Dean, Dean Michael. Oh, did he said that wrong. Anthony. Sophie Sheffin. Carey says.

Give me a new one. Give me a new one. I've gotten two more last. Australian. Good eye, and thank you so much to a wonderful producer from Dan Under, slash you're probably in the UK. It's Victoria Hutchinson. Becky Forks.

Tim and Dome Roya Finko Dahlia I'm here I raiden Me seems Tristan Tess Charlie Ai Kaisai Highland War

High Briggs Jam Rainbird Jam Rainbird Stop is actually a name Yeah Thank you so much for your support Jam Please be single And please contact me

Helen Rainbird Helen Rainbird Helen Rainbird Rainbird. Jam Rainbird is a wicked name. Jam contact me. Helen Rainbird? Sorry, can you give me one more accent?

Texan. Howdy? Haldie, partner. They're all so close. Y'all want to go to the kettle ranch? Y'all having sweet tea? Okay. I'm going to pray for you.

The bigger the hair, the closer to God. Okay. I'm going to pray for you. Okay. It's so weird when you go for you, for you. for you. I'm going to pray for you. I'm going to pray for you. Okay. Welcome to Texas and thank you. A big thank you to Claire Owen Jones.

No. Claire Owen Jones. Harold Van Do you. No. Come on. Okay. Texas. Texas. This ain't Texas. This ain't Texas. I know. Hold on. Okay. Claire Owen Jones. Claire Owen Jones. Claire Owen Jones. Harold Van Dyke, David Walker, Jess and Nick, Rachel R, Neil Redmond, Sarah Molly, Tina Lindsay, Graham Marsh, Lear Overend, Liz Fort, Clow, Emily G, and Ozzie Steph. Was that five? You sounded like the narration for like an American murder mystery podcast. I thought it was like one of the sleep time, you know, the ones where they're like, you're going to go to sleep. I was thinking about a big Texas man on a cattle ranch. Make it stop.

Hey, guys, thanks for supporting the podcast. We really appreciate you, and we need you. We need you because Helen's alienating, if I may, with that kind of thing. This ain't Texas. Nope. And that is the song. Not even close to the freaking tune.