Trusty Hogs - Ep132. RHYS NICHOLSON / Biscuits, Bald Babies & Barack Obama

Episode Date: May 2, 2024

Returning guest, Aussie Legend, Queer Icon and host of Drag Race Down Under, we are joined in Melbourne by the brilliant RHYS NICHOLSON!FOLLOW RHYS: @RhysNicholsonTOUR TICKETS: www.trustyhogs.com/tourThank you so much for listening!Support us at www.patreon.com/TrustyHogs for exclusive bonus content, merch, and more!Trust us with your own problems and questions... [e-mail] give us a follow @TrustyHogs on all socialsBe sure to subscribe and rate us (unless you don’t like these little piggies - 5 Stars only!)Thank you to our Patreon supporters...EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Guy Goodman / Simon Moores / Mary Fox / Annie Tonner / Stefanie Catracchia / Oliver Jago / Anthony Conway / Matthew Thomas / Madeline Quinne / Grace O'Reilly / Jay SPRODUCERS: Richard Bicknell / Elle / Richard Bald / Neil Redmond / Victoria Hutchison / Harald van Dijk / Tim & Dom / David Walker / Rachel R / Sadie Cashmore / Claire Owen-Jones / Jess & Nick / Zoë / Sarah & Molly / Raia Fink / Cordelia / Rachel Page / Helen A / Tina Linsey / Graham Marsh / Amy O'Riordan / Abbie Worf / Matt Sims / Luke Bright / Leah / Kate Spencer / Tristin / Liz Fort / Taz / Anthony / Klo / Becky Fox / Dean Michael / Sophie Chivers / Carey Seuthe / Charley A / KC / Hayley Worf / Aussie Steph / Hope Briggs / Jam Rainbird / Nathan Smith / Amanda M / Tamsyne Smith-Harding / Hannah JWith Helen Bauer (Daddy Look at Me, Live at the Apollo) & Catherine Bohart (Roast Battle, Mock the Week, 8 Out of 10 Cats)FOLLOW HELEN, CATHERINE & ANDREW...@HelenBaBauer@CatherineBohart@StandUpAndrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Hey, folks, it's Mark Bittman from the podcast Food with Mark Bittman. It's hard for me to believe we're talking about back-to-school, but whether you're thinking lunchboxes or nourishing dinners, Whole Foods Market is the place to shop, and their high standards allow you to shop with confidence. Their house brand, 365 by Whole Foods Market, has everything you need for quick and convenient breakfast, lunches and dinners from oatmeal to trail mix to wild fish sticks. Explore the many ways you can save on back-to-school foods at Whole Foods Market. Hello and welcome to episode of 1333 of trusty hogs in Australia. It's me. It's me, Catherine Bauer, and that was Helen Bauer. I think you'll have guessed it. I've become Australian now. I've got the X in.

Oh, bloody love a Tim Tim. Oh, you know. I think they're fine. How yeah, they're just fine. Can I just say they're fine? It's like, have you had a like bourbon? Because those are much better. Do you know what I mean?

A bourbon. above No, I meant a whiskey Okay Through the fog Step forth The Trustee Hogs Yeah

You're gonna give me your problems And they will solve them Or maybe they won't And that's your problem They'll have guests And Andrew White on the tech Oh It's Helen and Catherine

As the trusty hogs Trust the trusty hogs or maybe not So have you tried whiskey? That'll be an interesting one to you to try. No, you're right. It is a bourbon. But I, yeah, they're fine. Have you seen the bourbon biscuits

are now selling M&S? You know, they were doing the coated bourbon biscuits whereas a bourbon cream biscuit dipped in chocolate. No, fuck, that's amazing. Now they're doing bourbon double stuffed, which is a bourbon biscuit with double the amount of cream in the middle. I want the dipped guys. I want double dipped.

You think you want double-depth. You actually want the double-depth custard creams. I don't like custard creams. Why, though? No, just not for me. It's just sugar and fluff. That's why I don't like it. It just tastes like sugar.

I want chocolate. My, I always want chocolate. I know, like I don't eat jelly sweets really. I don't like, that's just not what I go for. I'm just always chocolate cream. Yeah, I just saw you eat in a chocolate cake and all fairness. Fuck, it was so good. It was so good.

So we're, I'm working out of this podcast studio in Australia. And Australians are so welcoming. It's, I really love it. So friendly. As a culture I, they're so inclusive. for white tourists. And you know what? It's a pleasure and a privilege.

Thank you for having us. I just want to caveat that. But what I meant to say was that this podcast studio, it's somebody's birthday. Shout out to them. And they had a beautiful cake, like chocolate moose cake. And they just gave us some.

Like we're involved in the birthday. We're not. But I'm thrilled. I feel like it's friendly to the point that if you go into a coffee shop twice, the second time you go in, welcome bick i know welcome bick to be fair we went to the same coffee shop twice in the same day welcome bick

you gotta stop it it's nice it's just friendly it's just friendly it is nice i'm just trying to get the accent before i go home okay well i'm glad you have some time um let's you know i've been mistaken for australian before in the uk in the uk i have people have been like in the u k i'm not joking people have been like oh where in australia are you from are the english people have said it to me before they've been like are you from australia were you doing your accent at the time no just talking talking talking like these.

Okay. All right. So, yes. I'm from Malulabar. What's Malulabar? I don't know. I used to work in a cafe in London and one of the guys was Australian there and he had a postcard up from Malulabar.

And I just remember that, I remember like. Simon, what the hell is Malulabar? It was right by where I was washing dishes was this postcard from Malulabar. So I can see it really clearly in my mind. It's up north. My uncle lives there. It's up north. It's up north.

Simon's uncle lives there. What's it like? Really, really hot and like muddy and humid and like coastal. Coast. unhuman, don't mind if we do. Like Torquay in Devon. Torquy and Devon, I'd say. Yeah, but like that's all the same as Torquay and Devon, I'd say.

That's what Simon definitely said. Malulabar. There's just so many beautiful place names in Australia. I was like... That's a beautiful place name to you, is it? Yeah. There's so many gorgeous. I was like on Google Maps and I was sort of like looking at like the different places.

We're staying. So obviously like I'm going to two of the same cities. You've obviously been in Melbourne before. But it's like, oh, I wear it. am I staying this time? Where am I staying there? And then you sort of like zoom out a bit. It's like in Brisbane I want to go to the to the Australia Zoo. Yeah. Which is Steve Irwin Zoo. Yeah.

And now run by his children. Oh my God. I'm so excited. But I was like, oh my God. And then you see the town names around it. Because you know I'm obsessed with I'm Cobra Pado. I'm sorry. What did you say to me? Cobra Pado. That there's a whole. I don't think you should say that in that accent because it really sounds like you're going to say a different word the second time. Pete. Oh, no. No, they're not like that there. They all live underground.

What is it? And it's an opal mining town. Right. And if you go outside, the flaws just land on your fice. So that's where they have to wear the hats with the corks on it. You know, from the like... Why would anybody live there? They live in flytale.

It was on instant hotel. Do you remember that Australian reality show that we got during lockdown on Netflix? No. And oh my God, Catherine. I was having a breakup. Oh, my God. The perfect time to watch a street. Australian reality TV.

I was really busy re-watching fucking shit's creak, wasn't I? Instant hotel. It's hosted by one woman who was a hotel

expert slash TV presenter and Lawrence Llewell and Bowen. No! Maybe he's back, back, back, back again. He's back on Australian reality TV.

So what he was doing was he would host there was, it was basically like four in a bed the bread and breakfast show. Yeah. And they would host people at the...

I've never seen that either. So it's like families who run bed and breakfasts and they compete and they have people all the other bed and breakfast people stay at theirs

for a weekend and then they vote for their favourite bed and breakfast so like but they're called instant hotels here not bed and breakfasts

so they're called instant hotel but they like pick duos to like host it so like the Sydney

B&B is hosted by a babe and Bondi babe's the mum Bondi's the daughter named after the boy and I'm no joke it's incredible

and obviously they're white but they've got like so many butters everywhere. Like, it's like it's like a full-on temple. We're by Bimbabondoy. Never been abroad. Well, we've been to Indonesia, but just at the white places

and they're just so amazing. And then there's a couple that are in Cobra Poto. Okay. And they have, she wouldn't say it like that. Cooper Poy do. And it's actually better. It's just pure aridness. And then they make them go golfing.

It's their fun activity. And every time they like do anything. they're just covered and flies it's insane and there's a couple that have this american roadhouse instant hotel in like the wine valleys of like western australia it looks incredible and american what now like you know when people like do a wacky hotel like a themed hotel right and they've decided that in the middle of like i don't know let's just say the yarra valley but i don't know where it is and they're going to have like an american style dana hotel. So surrounded by these amazing

bigniars and vistas. And their theming is, welcome to the 1950s. No. So it's like the black and white checkered floor. Like you can sleep in the Maryland Monry room or in a I bet you sleep pretty well in there. In an old car. Sorry, that was rude. They give you the Maryland drugs. A deep sleep. A deep sleep in the Maryland room. It's so amazing.

And they're the sweetest couple. He's got like, the mullet, like, not like the new mullet, the first mullet. The long back, long at the back. To the point where like, he probably got it at school and it's just never gone away. Like, it feels like he was born with it. That's impressive. It's such a good show.

Anyways, aren't we all born with a mullet? Like, those of us with hair have usually got a little bit long bits of the back and sort of time. You're so right. And babies have that bold spot as well. Yeah. But I was born with, um, lots of blonde hair and then it all just fell out immediately. And I was bold for like two years. But that always happens. Everyone loses their baby hair,

don't they? Yeah, but some people grew up back quicker. Like, I was like, I was toddling around walking still bold. Whoa. Like, hello. And they were like, why is that baby so big? And like saying hello, but with no hair still. That's quite nice. Um, my, oh, actually, that's not my story to tell. But Ellen couldn't, could talk before she could walk. She was like a slow walker. Um, slow to walk. And no, that's creepy. She walks very fast because she's gay, obviously. Yeah. Um, but she, yeah so apparently apparently once her grandma came over

and before she could say anything Ellen was like no grandma I'm not walking yet to be able to say that is so creepy before you're stepping is crazy because there's a famous joke like a child should never be asked to be wiped like if you're old enough

to ask to have your nappy change and have a wife then you shouldn't be wiped, you know? Yikes. Because that's just creepy. It's like those kids whose memories start too early. Like my friend Gwyneth remembers being changed. Oh, no. She remembers lying, lying next to her cousin and having her nappy change.

Also, sometimes you see a kid that's like, sometimes you see a kid. We saw a kid being breastfed recently. And I swear to God, his feet were kicking her knees. No. Yeah. You're like, that's a no. Obviously, her body had children. choice. Obviously her body had choice. No, no. We're feminists. Oh, well, I think that's, I think

that's actually, um, but it's the same thing. If you can ask for the nipple, you can't have the nipple. You know, you can't. Do you know what I mean? You have, you can't. Let's use our words and order some lunch. Yes. You know what I mean? Like, let's just do that. It's time. It's time. Also at some point. Uh, sorry. You must be aware. that like you I mean I think you can tell I wasn't breastfed ever I know I spent some time on the nipple definitely spent some time

I'm making up for last time now my what oh no your poor mother oh no not with her no obviously not obviously not that'd be mental that'll be fucking mental that's changed the time right 100% so what you've been at what you've been

you've been up to you've been enjoying you're doing for Christmas would love to know what are you doing for Christmas would love to know what the big plans are this year. Let's stress ourselves out now and then deal with the rest later on. I actually can't do Christmas as early with you

because you are too much. So let's talk and set for Christmas. Come on. It's a lot. Let's just save it until November. It's a tricky time of year. Hey, weren't you going to tell? Oh, that's what we're going to talk about eating out.

But no, a different kind. A different kind. Don't, don't. I was just going to say that I know that it's a true. Helen, come back to me. I want to talk about it. I love talking about our food. issues on the podcast.

Okay, well, fine. You come over the topic of us on our... No, no, I want to talk about the food issues. I'm just going to say that the food in Melbourne is fucking amazing and the food culture here is unbelievable, but... Don't, tell them what you've done. You've already spent through your perdium. Oh yeah, I spent my purdium, but I spent...

With two weeks in, and can I just say, you might not remember this, but last year when I came to Australia and I spent through my per diem for Sydney and Perth really quickly, you were like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, no, my first time being invited to be a... comedian in Australia I'm sorry Irish No No

No No No Trill Shrill Pagmahan Slancher Okay

Slancher Slancher Sloncher Sloncher Sloncher Is that one Yeah It's just not

Cher It's Chah Flancher My first time Coming to Australia I was Basically Helen

Here's the thing Who is I use my THs I don't think You do I think I do You show enough now But you

in general. I definitely do. Right. They were, they gave me my per diem. I was so careful with it. I did not spend through it at all. I was so careful. I had money left over at the end. You literally did. Someone can go back and find it. Fine. Let me say this though. You have fucked it this year. Because my girlfriend was here. So we went out for so many gorgeous meals. And I spent so much money on Mohair. I've bought two Mohair jumpers and I'm not sorry. I've had your nails done. I've had my nails done. You've. Mama got crazy and then My pedium is still standing

And I want that You got paid it late Yeah I fucked up But still my per diem is standing And there's a reputation that I'm bad with my money Only because you tell us what you do with your money And it's always bad On magical trips to go see Hitler's Eagles nest

That was close And I've got a book to go back But still Helen all I was trying to say It's just that It's been really nice eating out loads But I do find it quite stressful

to not have any like regularity with food and then I overthink everything and I get kind of choice I get overwhelmed but also I get I feel like I feel disconnected from my body and like I can't tell if I'm hungry or not and also I find it really hard when you're ordering as a group

and I get overwhelmed and now I'm just gonna cook for myself for a week so I feel like a normal girl again and I support that a hundred percent I think I realize that that's such a incredibly niche privileged problem I've had too many meals at restaurants and now I don't feel normal.

I think everyone will understand that to, like not even if it's eating a restaurant, it's just the fact that if you're on like a holiday and you're with a group of people, if you're like renting like an Airbnb somewhere, like you're no longer in charge of what you eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner because everything is like,

are we buying this box of cereal? Are we getting this in for breakfast? And suddenly all your meals become this thing that everyone's around. And if you're someone who's struggled with a food issue at any point in your life, like no matter how big or small, you can't help but feel slightly judged sometimes

or like you're making like the wrong choice or you've got to like pick what you think people would like or the group order for the table and it's totally out of control yeah it's so out of control and it's so tricky because you also it's hard I know we spoke about this last week

but I don't know if it was in the main episode of the extras but just sort of like if to be in a group of people and not feel left out not uninclude anyone but also not to not be involved for like you can't not go to everything. Yeah. Like I have not gone to a lot of the meals. You've been riding that sore throat for quite a week now. I'm thriving. Yeah, I'll bet you are. Having to be on vocal rest. I haven't

spent my predium because I've stayed indoors for eight days. I am thriving on vocal rest. Also because. Yeah. And can you hear it? She really needs it. Don't fake cough now. Don't you fake cough at me. Don't you fake cough. Don't you fake cough? For God's sake. I did, I did have a very sore throat. Really? It's mainly for me yelling at the Melbourne audience. audiences because there's like no Disney adults here and I'm just like genuinely pissed off you get really mad about that huh hey maybe I get mad about it if after the show these like fucking Australian girls come up to me going like we actually really love Disney and I'm like there was literally 15 of us in the whole crowd you couldn't have said and you couldn't have said maybe our guest will be a Disney adult

I got so angry at the day I screamed and a bit of piss came out I'm not joking right let's bring on our I think I'm losing no no I think I'm losing it's a no for my um wait no go one more thing about food before we bring on our guest? Well, just super, super quick. Go on. Because I've just realised the time. No, actually, it's not important. I'll do it next week.

That good, eh? Yeah, yeah. I thought it was actually big of a thing. Next week it is, please. Welcome our tremendous guest, Reese Nicholson. Woo-hoo! Australia's own. Hey, folks, it's Mark Bitman from the podcast, Food with Mark Bitman.

It's hard for me to believe we're talking about back-to-school, But whether you're thinking lunchboxes or nourishing dinners, Whole Foods Market is the place to shop. And their high standards allow you to shop with confidence. Their house brand, 365 by Whole Foods Market, has everything you need for quick and convenient breakfast, lunches and dinners from oatmeal to trail mix to wild fish sticks. Explore the many ways you can save on back-to-school foods at Whole Foods Market.

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Hello, it's me, Catherine Bowhart, and I'm going on tour. My show is called Again With Feelings. And oh my gosh, you guys, I would absolutely love if you bought a ticket in advance because people keep sending me emails about the places that aren't selling well, and it's very stressful. So I'm doing MacFest in Wales. I'm doing Brighton, Aldershot, Edinburgh, Glasgow, York, Newcastle, Norwich, Winchester, Cambridge, Oxford, Bass, Birmingham, Manchester, Leeds, Liverpool,

I'm now doing Bolton, we're adding Bolton, Sheffield, Exeter, Corsham, Bristol, Coventry, Guildford, Port Smith, Swind, and Dublin, and then I'm back in London. The point is, I have a lot of tickets as hell, and I'm not really sleeping. So, grab a ticket. Hey, grab a ticket at catherinebowhart.com. You'd go, wouldn't you, Helen? I've been. I loved it. Have you been?

Lester. Oh, you went to a work in progress. Yes, that's true. But it's going to be better than that even, I hope. And also, you're going to have the best time in Bolton is my favourite accent in the UK. Bolton, Bolton, hello. I guess I'll find out why it is when I get there. Please come to the tour.

Look at me, baby. Look at me. Look at me. She's jiggling. She's jiggling her titties. They're jiggling their tities at each other. Hello. Ray Jiggles and how the hell are you, my love?

I'm great. How are you? You look like you have reached your final form. You look divine. The final evolution of the Pokemon. Oh, my gosh. When I'm embalmed, this would be nice. Like, when I'm laying in state and people can't look at me like lemon.

It's like, wow, drag race money suits you, honey. Oh, yeah. And I make so much money off that show. They definitely don't know that they make you famous that I don't pay you heaped. Oh. No, I get paid the correct amount. I get paid the correct amount. Okay.

But I wouldn't say it's like, you know. Well, it's like, it's TV money. Yeah. It's stupid amount of money for what we do. It's enough to go and like, a world cruise, if you say way. Yeah, but cruises, would you like a cruise? More than anything at the moment.

I've got so into it. See, I've worked on, I've performed on cruises before. How? Can you get me in? Absolutely. Like genuinely. Pino cruises. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yeah, they do comedy cruises and they go into open water and they do donuts and international waters so they can sit so they can open the casino and then you do a couple

shows and they're not bad. I will do them again. Will you? On the way down? And on the, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's like doing working men's clubs in the UK. Yeah, we call them RISLs here, like the. What does the RSS stands for?

RISL stands for Returned Servicemen's League. Oh, God, okay. And they're kind of, they were kind of like, you know, we're like men who have been to war, we'd go and talk to each other. And now they're just kind of a lot of fruit machines and. And that's just the comics. Hey, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Not of those bars, I'm assuming. Come on now. Wait, so they, you go on it. How many shows do you do a day on piano? So you only have to do, on these comedy ones, you do two shows, but one of them is like your headline shows. So it's like 35, 40 minutes. You're like to say whatever you want, but you can't say cunt.

That's the only thing. Really? You're not like to make jokes about the captain. Those are the rules. Do not disrespect the captain? Do you have to say it's a ship, not a boat? Yes. There's like weird little...

Maritime people are funny about that. And they're also really funny about gendering boats. Yes. Like, you think that, like, humans have a problem with, like, the binary. Ah, ha ha ha ha ha. It's the bloody mariners. The gender dysphoria involved in being a boat. Really?

Oh, it's insane. What do they have to be? Her. Oh, fuck. She's a lady. I love, we should put our money to get our TV drag race money. And we should buy a boat and it should be a they, they, them boat. The first they them boat.

The people of the seas will be leavened. And we smash like a gin and tonic over it instead of like a shank. It goes bailing. round. Thanks, guys. Thanks, everybody. Thanks, everybody. And instead of, like, a lady

with her tits out, sort of being the mast of the boat, it's just someone with a mullet. It's just May Martin. Yes. It's just May. We just call it the May Martin. That's perfect.

And it's on its May Martin voyage. They're here all week, my love. They're here all week. I can't believe you've done everything in your career. You've cruised and you've been on TV. I will be back. I will be back.

Like, because you do. So you do your show and then they also have these like little gala things. It's like, and it's quite, it's not bad. It's like being on a little like group to it. As long as the good, you've got mates on the ship with you. But isn't it also only good if your gig goes well? Yes. Like I always ask, the person who books me on them is a mate of mine.

And she always makes sure to put me on the last night. I don't know if I said, but she puts me on the last night because then you can be kind of anonymous the whole. Yes, heaven on earth. And you can just be it. Whereas if you're headlining on the first night, You are very famous to everyone on the ship. And if it goes well, it's still also annoying because you're trapped on a hotel in the middle of the ocean

with people going like, I've got one for you. I remember when this happened? Whereas if you're on the last night, you just do your back to your cabin and you disembarked the next morning at 7 a.m. Whoa. Wow. That is my... genuinely, that is like a nightmare I'd have. Yeah.

it's not idea but you can get food all around that's not my dream it's yeah maybe not but is a buffet 24 7 yeah like you know if you are in the context of we're in the middle of the ocean right now yeah made this all right fair enough like it's it's yeah it's good like it's good if you're not if you're just like junk fooding and just kind of like good burgers and that sort of thing look at the light in your eyes just sparkling away actually yeah i think helen you would like it i've got the vibe of someone that could like be like no like really red forehead like super burn yeah like always insisting on going for cigarettes but the wind is too strong but relighting it i become a chain smoker on a cruise ship yeah because you kind of just have to fill time like i was a smoker for years and then i quit

and then as soon as i want a cruise ship i just start up again well it's the rules of the sea it's but also is it that you have to go to a certain place to smoke so if you go all that way you're like well i'm not just having one well and it just gives you you have so much time to to feel. You have, because also that when you're, I think being a passenger is a different experience as a, when you're technically working on the ship, as you can drink and things, but you're kind of not, like, I don't think you're allowed to use the zip line, for example, or like, I think you're not really allowed to.

Sorry, there's a zip line on the ship line. Catherine, you don't understand. It's a moving city. And I feel like you've got the wrong idea, Ron, the Ron idea about how amazing these cruise ships are. Some of them have theme parks on them. Yeah, some of them are theme parks. But then also some of them are like, I don't work on the, I've not worked on like kind of family ones.

I think they're the ones that have all the cool stuff though. Like I do, and I'm not making this up. It sounds like something I made up. They had a little cinema in there and I walked past one night and they were playing the movie. Like, this proves to me that they have a sense of humor. They were playing perfect storm. That's good stuff.

It's good stuff. Titanic would have been braver, but I respected. Yeah, yeah. It's still the ocean being angry. Or Jules. Yeah. Wait, what's perfect storm? Perfect Storm is a George Clooney vehicle?

I think so. Wasn't it? It was George Clooney, wasn't it? Yeah. And they're on that relatively small ship boat. When he was still working out his ER into movie stardom period. I'm checking. I'm checking.

It was like fishermen in a storm. Yeah. The perfect storm. The perfect storm. And it's like little, little ship, which I'd imagine the CGI would make us feel sad. Was it a little ship or a little boat? There we go. We've got to be careful.

and the little boat in big waves. George Clooney, it is George Clooney. And that's who I was getting confused with because it's also Mark Wahlberg. What's this? The fact that they've, I mean, of course they've met, but the fact that they've spent three months together. Wait, I'm adding this to my list of things I have to watch.

A deadly storm rises in the North Atlantic and the lives of a bunch of commercial fishermen are in serious danger. They must do everything in their power to survive. Wait, this sounds way up my street. Yeah. I'll think you all. I've had two recommendations here

from a Kiwi and an Australian of things to watch. First of someone, an Australian, I still haven't Googled it, so I don't know what it is, something called Blinky Bill. Blinky Bill! What is it?

Blinky Bill is very important to us. No, I don't think it is because the name doesn't... Okay, go on. Say more, same more. It's like, it's very, it's, like, if you're, particularly my age, it was like on TV a lot, but it was like old, I'm 25,

I'm 22, thank you. Oh, sorry. The, it was a TV show that I think was big in the 60s, and the 70s and then they remade it in the 90s. But it's this mischievous little koala called Blinky Bill and he wears red overalls and one of the things is kind of down.

Cute. Oh, it's like a nip slipped koala. Yeah, yeah. A gender queer, busy buddy. What's his girlfriend's name? Not girlfriend, but like best friend. But there's like, you know, when they put sexual tension, but their children?

Like, oh, well, they won't they but their children? Yeah, yeah. Like, they'll probably get married when they're old. Like, if they were to do an episode where they jump forward, they're probably married. Yes, yes, yes. I think her name was like gumnut or something, like gumnut, gumnut the koala. Wait, Simon, do you remember this?

Did you have it in Tasmania? Yeah, my friend's mom was the voice of Pinky Bill. Shut up. Okay, can they hear you on the podcast? Sorry, are you unable to turn that mic on? Oh, I'm so sorry, you have to say that. Sorry, could you just say that again? Are you okay?

My friend, my friend, Daniel Moore's mom is the voice of Blinky Bill. Whoa. Which, to find out that this mischievous young boy was played by, a woman is, I mean, they can do anything now, but the... Is it more than played by a woman? Nancy Carr right. I met her once at Edinburgh, French. She was producing a comedian

there and it was... What? She was over. I was in the abattoir, artist bar. What a hellish name for a hellish place. Yeah, and she was... They do a good espresso martini's and all fairness to them. They do make drinks better than other places. Yes. They have to. They're hells. And it's kind of, you know, if you can find a little corner that no one's going to...

Can I say really good for outdoors? smoking seating at the abattoir. You've got to look at the positive. Look at a blinking bill. Now this is also the three generations of it because I'm now looking there's a three-day, like this is what all kids shows look like now. It's kind of. Yes. So the one that we watched, that one there, that's the one that we watched as a kid. I can see the one that looks 90s, like the one that looks like the equivalent of like British 90s. What was his girlfriend's name? Um, what was her name? I really wanted to be gum nut. I wanted to be gumnut. Oh my God. It's so cute.

And it was hugely popular. Oh, my God, it's so sweet. How could it not be? And they would often, in that there was a movie of it that was made in like the 70s of the 80s. And they, and it's kind of what they're doing here, they animated on top of real, photograph, feel, real film. Like, maybe they did this in the UK as well. So Australian budgets have always been quite like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, we're only getting the money that you send us, so. What was... That's very... Yeah, we need the name. They look like they all live in East London. Also, just to like... I'm assuming everyone's Googling along or watching the video along with us,

but like, Nazi. Nazi! Nazi! What's that amongst... I mean, this isn't helpful for the podcast, but just below... The woman is holding up her skirt.

But what's happening below... See, there's it... No! On the second row over, over. What's that? Can they see this on the screen at home? Probably not. I reckon that if you...

Blinky Bill human girls. No, that's... Google Blinky Bill girl. Simon, close that down. And you will see an image come up that I'm going to say is not a blinky bill appropriate. Yeah, I would agree.

Also, Catherine, the more I see this, the more I feel like I've seen this. Now, and... Did this come to the UK? I don't know. I didn't live there when I grew up. And the, uh, and there was this old man called,

wombo that that was like and a wombat he was a wombat but his name was mr wombat and uh they were running out of names i think and blinky would call him wombo and every time and this is a better impression than it's going to sound here we go but people listening will and he'd always go don't call me wombo and that was spot on that kind of all right okay yeah simon's over the moon yeah simon's impressed i mean i was no blinky bill his friend's mom yeah wow he would know he would know wow so a real david move yeah it's david actually okay Dave chill yeah Blinky Bill I actually want to watch it it seems adorable because these people after my show were like incredibly passionate about Blinky Bill okay so I wrote it down as something to watch and

then the other thing I had recommended which I have already watched back door sluts for how do you know what you're gonna watch one to three to get what's going on pack door sluts four Yikes. Yikes. Yikes. Yikes. The franchise really kicks off from four to 12. And you think it's four the number, but it's actually four. And here comes. To be clear, it's nothing to do with anal. Their front door does not work. Okay. And they haven't called the landlord to get the keys

replaced. But they are sluts. They're slutty, but they really cannot do house admin. What is the other one? What was the other thing? Heavenly creatures. Oh, yes, yes. Had never even heard of it. Catherine? Kate Winslet, you'll. It's incredible. Kate Winslet. With a Kiwi accent, Melanie Linsky.

I know who Melanie Linsky is, yeah. Did you know that she's a Kiwi? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, okay, good. She used to be on the L word, which is when I first saw her. Oh, my God. So they play Heavenly Creatures.

It's a famous story in New Zealand about these girls that were like, classic, I think we, as queer people, we had these people, like, best friend that you absolutely were in love with. Yes. And they murder a man together, and it's a true story. No? They murder. her mum together. Yeah, that's right.

As teenage girls. Yeah. But it's all, it's very like, did they, didn't they? Did they? Did they? And do they end up in love? And it's kind of horny. It's like a bit like, like, and it's Melanie Linsky. Are they smoozy? I think there's a bit of that. There's one. Yeah, yeah. I don't want to give it away. I mean, I mean, I'm in.

Saw a show where someone referenced it and the whole audience were like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was thinking like, oh, I hate it when you don't get that. Film, film, film. Let's watch it. And I've already watched it. I literally went home from the show. I watched the first hour of it I woke up early the next day and watched the second 40 minutes And it's kind of Kate Winslet's

It's her first film Remember when films were an hour and 40 I've said to all Oh what a dream Remember when you could like Do two of an evening? This is a yeah COVID Not a six hour evening

We like This is a huge Thing between my husband and I That he doesn't mind a lot Like I don't mind a lot But I need to be in the right mood Yeah Like, you need to catch me in exactly the right.

Like, stars need to be aligned in a certain way for me to go, yes, let's watch a three and a half hour movie. Yeah. Like, if I'm a bit grumpy, I'm not going to the movies to watch a two and a half hour no. Unless the experiment of the movie is, see how fucking long this is? Like, if I'm watching a movie, like, we could have wrapped this up. Yeah.

I love a, I love an hour and a half comedy. Because it can be done. If we can do a stand-up show in an hour. Right? And even then, I think that's too long. I can talk about my whole, oh, it should be four. 40 minutes. It should be 40 minutes.

I agree. But if we can wrap up family trauma in 45, you, I'm sorry, you can shorten that film. And then a bit of crowd work to fill it out at the end.

Don't mind if we do. Sometimes it happens. To fill out. I was saying to Reese the other day when we were at a gig which is like, I know a gig is going badly.

If at like minute 52, I'm like, so what's your name? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. If in the last 10 minutes you're introducing new characters from the audience,

things have not gone well and your filling time. But don't you ever think, like you're on minute 52, wrap it up everyone else is going to be glad to like i think maybe we were we were saying 42 because i yeah i think 42 yeah i think if you're selling a show as an hour 50 minutes is fine i agree my show is running long so i'm actually finishing it earlier most nights because i think people would rather get out before you hit the hour than hitting it it's not a challenge to fill the time

for sure they don't want it reese um you live here i do what should we be doing sorry high pressure No, no, but this is the thing, because I used to live in Sydney for a long time. I've been there. And I've heard of it. Rees, Rees, Rees, can I tell you, Rees, can I tell you? I've been to the Taronga Zoo and I saw a possum on the street in Sydney. This is the thing that you don't get, see, the way the Australians go to London and are just, like, so fascinated by seeing like a, like, I know that foxes in London are a problem, but we see them and we're like, oh, my God,

because it's like seeing, we grew up watching, like, the animals are farthing. Like, seeing a fox is like, oh, my God, I'm pretty sure I live on a fox's street now. It's not the way around. Yeah. Like, it's, there's so many of them where I live that it's perturbing. Do you have confident foxes around your just regular ones? Oh, my variables. I've got one that looks me in the eyes.

They're so cute. I love, I'm a big part of my algorithm on Instagram is videos of baby fox, like puppy kind of, Puppy? Cubs? Cubs? Fox Cubs. Kittens? Kind of at people's like English doors.

Just like... Yeah. And they're so cute. And then they grow up and they look kind of sinister. Kind of. They are. Yeah. You're right.

If you're a fox, you're kind of a fox. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. I want to show you mine algorithm. Mine is about Australian seals with learning difficulties. Because I've basically been following... Is it a code word for something or are they...

No, no. Seal from... Tasmania. Where they go? clubbed in the human. No, no, no, no. But they think they're human. It's so silly. And they're always on land. They're always on land like flopping around. And every single night, the Tasmanian police have to be like, right, Neil, beck in the water. And they, they're so not built like to, to. It's cruel. It's cool. Yeah. They look inbred and yet not. But again, a baby feel.

Oh, insane, insane the size of the eyes. So cute. But what? So sorry. So when I lived in Sydney, there was plenty of things I could have, because Sydney's full of tourist attractions, whereas Melbourne's tourist attraction is Melbourne. Like as in, I know what you mean? You know what I mean?

Like it's quite, there's nothing to, like, you can't, you can't look at Melbourne's skyline and be like, that's Melbourne. Like, we don't have anything you can go and look at and go, wow. But like, kind of restaurants is the thing. like restaurants and things to do. Yeah. Best ones. Let's see if we've eaten at any of them.

The best restaurant in the country is in Melbourne. It's called Attica. And it is genuine. Like it's in the top 50 restaurants in the world. Wow. Like it gets voted every year. And it's like, it's a bit, it's a fine. It's similar to what's the place in Sweden that everyone, not Sweden, but like.

Oh, like not no more like. It's kind of like, it's an experience. It's like it's $500 a head. And dollars. And you're taking us? Yeah, let's all go. Come on, Sama, come on. Really? No.

But it's in between our birthdays. Yeah. And as a birthday present for you, you could take me for, I don't know, I was sort of doing that. That's okay. I did something weird the other day that my friend was pointing at me and I just put my mouth around their finger because I didn't know what else to do. I've done that before. People do not like it. Oh, she, it was Oakhim's Mar.

She hated it. Yeah, people really don't like it. Yeah. It's a huge invasion of privacy to fit with a workplace. It's a cuddle from. You shouldn't point. It's rude. Yeah. And now they know.

You point at me. I'm going to put my mouth around that. And that's not a euphemism friend thing. We're just married. Yeah. Attica is great. There's a place in the city called Gimlet. These are all kind of fine dining, but kind of like experience you places.

Gimlet isn't that where the Obama's went? Yes. Okay. Yes. Yes. How would you know that? Because another pair of gays had just been and we're like the Obama's went there, but don't get the pasta. So I was at this.

I was at a friend's house that night, who is a restaurateur, and he had friends there that were restaurateurs. And we're all, like, having dinner and stuff. There was other people there as well, but we're all having dinner and things. And it turned out to be the guy that owns Gimlet and Andrew McConnell. And we were like, oh, I have like Gimlet going. And he said, oh, the Obamas are there tonight. And the table went, what are you here?

Why are you here? But then he kind of made a good point that he was like, what's that he trusts his staff and like he's it but what's that what's that experience for like you know when you see so even if someone that you really idolize across the room what do you get like David Byrne is like my favorite person from the band Talking Heads yeah um and I saw him across a room and a big like I was it I don't know anything about him that wasn't a uh attack of he uh he just makes really I really like talking heads music and he's like in his 70s now and he still makes like really great and he's just very cool yeah

And he's like, I don't know, he just, like, everything he does is very, like, artful and very, like, he releases music in a weird way. And he's never gotten bad. Okay, amazing. Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He, I saw him, I was at an after party for something, and I saw him across the room. And a friend was like, you should go and talk to him. And I was like, what's that experience?

Like, I'm going to go up and say, hello, you're my favorite thing. And he'll go, thank you. And even if he's the nicest he possibly can, I'm like the 10th person to say that to him. Yeah. I was talking about this recently because I did a TV show with a big, like a big name comic. And I was watching, it was Graham Norton. You know Graham Norton. I don't know him, but he said my name on radio once.

Amazing. That totally counts. Yeah. But I know him very well. I think, and I, I don't know whether or not this is speaking out of term, but like watching, he is so kind to everyone who makes. But also, I found it quite stressful to talk to him because I felt like, God, were everyone today, it's their first. first time meeting, Graham Norton, and he's just trying to get, like, through the working hours. And you're like, it's a lot of pressure. It must feel so stressful to be everyone's

biggest moment. Well, I think this is a thing that really fascinates me about, um, my employer RuPaul. Yeah. Is that there are these kind of like stories about him, like people kind of have this opinion about him that he's kind of cold and aloof. Yeah. But he's not, he's at work. Like, I mean, this is what I've witnessed at this. Like in, you know, he's like a, a, a man in his 60s dressed as a woman convincingly in her 20s. Yeah. And he's tired. And like,

I think it's proved to me whenever drag queens have been kind of like, um, kind of saying like, yeah, he said to me on camera, off camera, like, you know,

save it for the camera. That to me is someone who's never been on a TV show before. Yeah. And doesn't know that, yeah, we're all here to work and we're just trying to, yeah, get done today.

And also someone can be like warm and welcoming and loving, but doesn't need to be talking to like everyone at all times. Oh. You know, like, we've all been on a panel show before where, like, the host has an earpiece in and you're talking about things, like, you're just chatting. And then you see them kind of go. Yeah. Yeah. And I remember the first time that ever happened to me, I went, oh, my God, I'm so sorry.

And now I realize, oh, no, the people in the control room are just talking to them right now and they can't talk to me anymore. And also, like, I have seen people who are effusively kind, incredibly generous, like, so attentive one another. But if they so much is, like, if anyone catches them on their one day off, that's the, that's the story. And I also think, or just on their phone for a second. My theory is that if someone is very, very nice on stage, they're usually the worst. That's so interesting. But it's true.

It's so true. The people that, the famous people that we know that are like in the media like, and look at all these great things I'm doing and we're raising money for all this charity, they're usually the greatest monsters of all. Oh my God, I want a new name so bad. I know we can't right now. I mean, they're the obvious. Like, there are the very public ones.

Like, you know, but like, but then the people that are usually the worst on stage, I often like the nicest. That's so true. Like they're the, like, fan Brady, little shout to fan Brady's got a little bit about that. And then you show. Yep. And it's super good. About James Gordon.

You know, I once served James Corden. Yeah, yeah. What? I used to serve him coffees every morning because I was working in the, in the, Wasn't that the big story? There was a big story. Oh, no, this is before he was, this is before, like, Gavin and Stacey even. He was doing, or maybe, no, it was after Gavin and Stacey, but I was working in the

espresso bar at the Royal National Theatre, and he was doing a play there called one man, two governors, and he's serving coffees. And he was fine. Yeah. I think it was before the story. Right, okay. But you know, do you know, everyone knows, like, the famous, like, whether it's about him or not, but the plane story.

Yeah. Yeah. The bag helping thing. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, wait, what? I don't know this one. The, well, who even knows if this is true?

Yeah, that's the thing. Who freaking knows? But I think someone put it on Reddit or someone put it on Twitter or something. Right. But he was on a plane and he was in like, you know, they were in the nice bit of the plane and it was his woman with a baby next to him the whole time with crying. And they were maybe going from New York to London or thought. Like it wasn't a huge stretch, but it was like, and he was just, and the woman kept

kind of throughout the flight going like, sorry about like, God, the baby. And he was like, no, it's totally fine. Don't worry about it. He just sat with headphones on and watched movies the whole time and blah, blah. Then right at the end, she's up and she's got the baby and she's getting back and she says to him, and the person was thinking the whole time, like, he's being so, like, you know, there's maybe screaming next to him in first class and he's being totally fine. He's being a human.

And then as she's getting bags down, she was like, can you at least fucking help me get the bags down? And it became clear that that was his wife and child. Yeah. And he literally just like was letting her do everything all. And who knows if it's true. Yeah. A fun, a fun, a fun, a fun proviso with this story. Because things get told and told and told and they get taken out of context.

Like, who freaking knows? Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? We do. You know. The part that I find implausible is that she didn't stab him during the show. Like, I'm like, surely if she's his actual wife, he's dead now. I've said this she's so many times you cannot kill in a closed space. Because that's how you end up with shows like the murder on the Orient Express, which is probably a book first. Terrible place to commit a murder.

Yeah, you're right. terrible that is the learning from that it's so stupid race always commit in an open space like heavenly creatures okay that's a callback nice that was good do a listen to problem yeah yeah yeah before we do that what kind of advice giver would you consider yourself um i think i may after a couple wines i got all types of thoughts yeah but i think i'm usually a my husband is a very good you know my husband he's he's quite an advice giver i think like but what do you think if okay so if somebody was going to come for like your expertise what do you think

what do you think you're good at giving advice on um dealing with uh like i think i'm pretty good at like dealing with a mistake that i've made do you know what i mean like as in like phenomenal i love that being kind of like oh i fuck this up how am i going to smooth this over lies i guess um great i think i'm i'm probably good at manipulating loved ones into thinking i'm not a monster So I would do that. The honesty of that answer. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. All right.

Do I have the problem? Favorite manipulation technique. Yeah. Mine's tears. Yeah. Mine is being a constant state of chaos. So when, seem like you're in a constant state of chaos. So when it actually is real chaos, people just go,

ah, that's just because Reese is chaotic. Slay. Yeah. I do more. Sorry, I'm just got, look, I don't know at the moment. Which must be, thank you, hard for you, Catherine, because you are a very together. other person.

Oh, Catherine's fine. Thank you for saying that. So when things are going on, it must be like, oh, this is just really, like people know something's off if something's chaotic around you. Well, I think it's more like I could have the biggest disaster happening and people are like, she's got this. And I'll be like,

I need help, but I don't know how to ask for it. Yeah, that's true. You don't ask for it. People have got to try and guess. It's interesting to fight. Like, have you ever had anything? So I recently, was in an immense amount of pain, I had a kidney stone moving from my kidney. knees to my...

Jesus. And it was like a wild amount of pain. And I've never, I've never broken a bone. I've never like... Oh, my God. No, kidney stones are horrific. That's like the one, isn't it? It was really interesting to find out what I'm like in a lot of pain.

I always thought, oh, I'm probably going to be hysterical and like, through it. Turns out I just go dead-eyed and just stare into space. And I was like kind of, Karan said I was very pale, more, you know, more so. Yeah, how did he tell? Yeah. He held up the swatches and he was like, oh, no. Blinkings are still alive? I apparently just kind of like,

he said he knew when like the bits, I wasn't joking or doing any bits. I was just like laying in the back of a car going to the hospital because we didn't know what it was at the time. And but it was just like, oh, this is what, it's kind of comforting to know.

Like if ever I'm in a hostage situation where I've been shot and we're hiding, I'll be able to keep it together because it's always that fuckhead in the action movies. Yeah, it is. In a kind of perfect storm situation who's like, nah, they're like, shut up.

Like making them bite down on a piece of wood or something. Interesting. Yeah, I think I, when it comes to real pain, tend to go fairly silent and quite, uh, denialy.

Mm-hmm. Really? I just kept going, whoa. Oh, like I just went into this weird space. I think it's so hard insignificant pain to judge, like, you don't know if it's like, are you being like a baby?

Yeah. Or is it like, Well, it's interesting you should say that because I think the repression of it, as sometimes with my feelings, comes from where I have expressed pain before, having been treated as dramatic. Are you fucking kidding? You can't say that. When I got hit by that bus in Mexico, oh my God. You were the first to say, no, you fucking weren't. Okay. Helen, tell Reese what happened. I got hit by a bus in Mexico in January. Tell Reese what actually happened. Tell Reese how it. I was getting off a bus and the doors closed on me, but I was technically hit by a bus. I'm not having it. You get it. You get it. You were hit by part of it. No. I was hit by a bus. She had the door. My feet. My feet. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. You would touch by a bus. I'm, uh, uh, my arm bruised. My arm bruised. Big.

You hit a bus. To my mind, Helen hit those hip, the boss was hit by Helen. Yeah, actually. Which is body shame. It's kind of similar to like when people have like bruises on their hands. Yeah. From hitting a wall. Yeah. I agree. Are you all ready for this problem? Sorry. I am, I want you to know usually as a fan of this podcast, I'm usually on. your side. I'm usually on your side. But for this moment. Not you, but I mean, come on. Reese, can I tell you about my pain? Reese, can I tell you about my pain? No, we're doing the problem. It's not the same as kidney stones. I accidentally ate four pesseries, which are tablets

that are supposed to go in your vagina for thrush. But I didn't realize you put them in your vagina, so I followed them orally. And then I had a little bit of a tummy ache and that wasn't very nice. No yeast in there though. No, no yeast. A lot of thrush cream. Yeah. comes out fast um but what i did last time i was into you ever date a woman do you reckon sounds great anyways no katherine i want to say my actual pain story because i'm actually very stoic as well and i want people to know that despite the fact i have like made up bruise with um uh i should have before for attention at school

stoic famous people famously we don't know what they're thinking yeah i'm a bloody mystery i'm actually mysterious girl who trumbria wrote it about me so i was like in um Oslo and I was like, God, my stomach, my stomach hurts. I never pull shows, particularly if you've been like flown out to do them. And I was like, oh, my God, I can, I can go on stage if I'm a bit. It's fine. My stomach was hurting so bad. I actually dropped out the gig that evening.

And then literally waited three days of not being able to drink or eat. And then I was like, I can't just go to a hospital. That just feels so alarmist. So ended up calling up the insurance company and they went straight to the hospital. Like, you've got to go, you're clearly going to be very dehydrated. And I was like, no. and I knew I was in loads of pain but I couldn't register

if it was enough to warrant going I think if I was in the UK I would have gone because I know what I'm doing it but I don't want to go to hospital in a different country where I don't know anyone those Stoic Oslo people and then those Stoic Oslo people and I knew why I felt sick but I didn't want to like

I was eating an egg out my bra every day we don't have time for this but like I've heard you yeah yeah it's like a thing I've been through but like eventually get to hospital and they're like we could have come in and we could have been done with this But it's like, I also don't want to be someone that's like draining resources. Yeah.

Yeah. And that's it. I didn't, with the kidney thing, I didn't want to, it took, it was like the middle of the night and it took my husband to talk me into going to the hospital. Yeah. You have to pass it? No, it dissolved. I guess it dissolved in my bladder. But it's the pain, the most pain you're in is when it is going from your kidney to, it's happened twice now into your bladder.

So it's like a little jagged piece of calcium work in its way through. What it turns out, quite a small little pipe. Is that stress related? Well, this is what I ask. asked, I said, is this, like, food? And she said, no, you're the right. And I said this on stage for the night. But the, the doctor said, you are the right age and gender for this to start

happening. She didn't know, I'm a non-binary person. So now I have a jagged piece of, um, calcium with my body who is openly misgendering. That is fucking bullshit. Bullshit. Have you got the calcium out now? No, but I would like to make a ring out of it. Oh, that would be so cute.

It's like a little, like, Karen and I could get put on as like little wedding bands. It's like a little, my, oh, that would be so special. This is why people are homophobic, you know that, right? That's some queer, fucking gross shit. That's disgusting. Your piss rings. That's disgusting. Sorry.

No, that's wrong. Sick and wrong. Okay, are you ready for this? Yes, and we're saying we're all brave. It's from A. Hi, A. Hi, A. Hi. Hey, you bunch of hot hogs.

I'm looking for any advice you can give me. I'd quite happily chuck myself down a well at this point. I like to tell people to throw themselves into 12s. Yeah, it's like a thing. So I'm 26. Single. Currently living with my parents in one of the most boring places in the world, Chester. Paint a picture of Chester for a Reese, please? The most charming place of all time. It's a city in the north. It's a walled old city. They've got a big zoo on the outskirts of it. And it is... You're working for them? It is, how do you know, the Real Housewives franchise? In the UK, there is a Real Housewives of Chester. Because they're like, there's, it's like a rich, like a lot of

of footballers live there. It's like a... Yeah, it's got a wag vibe. Yeah, yeah. Cece's dog and the nanny was called Chester. The what? In the nanny? In the nanny. Ccce Babcock, the little dog that she would carry around, but the nanny liked her more. No, no. Oh, the American sitcom.

Oh, that's right. You guys didn't have the nanny. Sorry. Is that with Fran Dresher? Yes. I forget. I know what it is. I've seen clips, but I don't know this. We've had it in Ireland. Me and Rose Matafio, I've talked about this a lot. where the nanny was huge in Australia and Ireland, huge in New Zealand, huge in Ireland, got play, I think I looked this up once,

they played like seven episodes in the UK and it never turned into a thing. I know what it is now from pop culture references as an adult, I've never seen an episode. Okay, well, let's stay on thread. She was the reason that the actor strike worked. Good for her.

And she doesn't look like she's aged today. I'm unemployed at the moment and have been since the start of the year. I'm just getting by with savings, but I'm driving myself up the wall. I've been looking for jobs 26 year old have favings Tell me about it

I feel like as a 26 year old I should start working towards a proper career like something I want to do for the rest of my life but I think maybe I must be aiming in the wrong direction I have massive dreams of presenting whether that be radio TV

kids TV podcasts whatever really I would eventually love to make a documentary on my experiences in and out of the mental health system etc I just don't bloody know where to start I have reached out so many companies and people

so many of them have said that I should start making TikToks and get traction that way but I'm 26. I feel like nobody really cares what I have to say and feel so cringed out by making,

I feel so cringed out by making TikToks to hear that. I've got through a few rounds into a journalism apprenticeship at the BBC, but they haven't replied to me for a month now

and even though I've emailed them, nothing has happened. They've got some stuff they're working out over there, I think. Yeah, I think they're busy. Between waiting to hear about that and applying to different jobs

every single day, I'm losing what very few marbles I had before. I have started applying to do TA work, but I feel like that might just distract me from my ultimate goal. Tits and asswork? So that would pay better.

Teachers assistant. Ah. I just don't know what to do. I feel like I'm moving backwards because I'm impatient and frustrated. I want to scream all the time. I've just lost the motivation to keep going because I feel like I'm not,

I'm getting nowhere. Please help me. Anyway, I love you lot. You make my week and I love the hoggy community. It makes me feel so much less alone. There are so many beautiful piggies out there. Love you, A, but you could also call me the poo emoji. Oh, no.

What an intro. Let me first of all say, if you're worried about being out of touch at 26 we are fucked this is a worry I also do not understand TikTok it's hard of it because you should see Catherine trying to turn the torch

on her phone yesterday at a show where they asked us to turn the torches on on our phone well usually it's on so I couldn't believe it wasn't then it had to do it was fucking there were 60 year olds in the front row with their phones are immediately no but they're already on they've been on since I'm usually

since a restaurant that they're two weeks ago and they were trying to see the menu. Those places are awful dark. Yeah. I do not the lighting at Gimlet's like, but good God, sometimes you do. Do you know what you do, though? You get the napkin and you wrap it around the light and it... Very nice.

It diffuses it. You know what I do? Waterglass and I make a lamp. Have you ever done that? If you're outside at a table and you need light, you would, can we, we've got to, well, we can't turn off the lights because it's the power. Oh, but I see how lovely. But that would then glow green.

It's gorgeous. That's so nice. Actually, that's genius. Life hack. So A. So anyway, do that. Oh, really? Do you think we solve that then?

Well, no, I think the thing is that they want to be a presenter and they are struggling with the advice they're being given. Well, a presenter and a documentarian. Yeah, and they are feeling like it's almost too late even though they're only 26. Yes. What's our thoughts? Oh, it's a meet. Oh, we don't want to let the guest maybe. No, no, no, no, because I've got an immediate thought.

Go on. I think that you go for the most accessible form of media and they're right when they suggest online stuff because you are in full control of the edit and what you want to do with that. If that doesn't feel the right thing for you, then I think you go for the next accessible media. Like, the BBC is amazing and love that you're contacting them,

but you're going to have local radio stations. There was always a local radio station that has a spot, yet a big apprenticeship is hard to get. But like, if you're unemployed and you've got, say, and they're still lasting for a little bit. Get some on-hand experience at local radio station because there are some technical things to learn. Well, I would think at this time,

whatever you want to do, at this time of your life, a skill set is far more important than opportunity. Like as in you want the opportunity to come later. When you have all the skills. That's so true. Because I feel like we've all probably been in situations where we've been given opportunity

and did not have the skills to back it up. Yes, the first time I did stand up on television. It didn't make it to air. Yeah. I'd already told my friends and family. Never tell. Oh, we all have a version of that. Or like, plenty of, I've been in workshops for panel shows and those sorts of things,

like early, early, early. And you're just kind of being like, oh, and like. Hell. Yeah, hell. And just knowing or being the first time I've ever on a panel show. And they just cut to me at one point. And I never speak, like, they just cut to me to prove that I was there, but I never spoke. Oh, if you're a young woman on a panel show, no matter how many times you speak,

they still cut you just going, Boys. You guys are so funny. Oh my God, that's so... You can't say that. And only when our boobs are jiggling. They don't have any clips of that for me. I also think, like, it's that...

I think I remember being exactly the same when I was 26, where it was like, I got to get this cooking because I'm running at a time. And then at a certain point you realize, like, I've started in the last few years, I think, and things started going better for me when I realized this. And this is not like a deep thought, but it's like, you should stop having, like, specific goals and have like a vague in like goal that you're like because if you have these really specific things like by the time I'm 30 I need to have done this. You're going to be disappointed by the time you're 30 if you haven't done exactly that thing. Do you know what I mean? Like if you if you have

like this sounds more serious than I'm totally with you. If you have like a vague idea of like oh by the time I just want to I want comedy to pay my bills. Yeah. And that's whatever and whatever version that is and then you're not going to be like oh I didn't I didn't. I didn't. get a chat show by the time I was 40. Like, you know, like, that's what it kind of used to be. And it also makes you more pliable within like, we are in a very strange time, A, where none of us understand what's going on.

Mm-hmm. Or no name A? No, but why is that strange? Well, it's just like, I don't understand how media works anymore. Yeah. Like, I thought I understood what I was meant. And now I've got to have a TikTok. Yeah.

And I don't know. And it's changes so fast. And it is really easy to feel either. The thing I will say in relation to this is, and I'm going to need to speak to my own experience. I had never done a stand-up gig I hadn't been on stage until I was 27 Yeah

So like I just want to put some context in there Didn't start this podcast until we were in our 30s Yeah Yeah I just think First of all to take off the pressure Because I don't actually think that that's helping Like constantly telling yourself you're failing at something That you're just beginning

It's not a good internal narrative And it will be It'll just mean you also miss your wins Like if you do start to do something You're like well it's too it's not enough and it's too late and everyone else. It's like, a start should be like a clap on the back. I do think, I know what you mean about feeling overwhelmed by TikTok and I definitely need

to do more of it. It's too noisy. Yeah. But I also think that's not terrible advice. Like, because you're like, I know it's not a favorite app, but you're good on TikTok. Like you consistently upload. You do. But I just think like, I don't have to like it to be like, this is a useful part of my job.

And also this is like a way people find. me and if I want them to come see me do stand-up, which I really want. Like, I want to play bigger rooms than I'm playing. Then I can do some stuff. A good vague goal. Yeah, that isn't, yeah, like, I can do some stuff that isn't just purely for artistic value. Like, I can do some stuff that's like, you know what, this is a way to help people find me. It's my, it's part of my admin. Yeah. Like, I'm sure there are people who do TikTok and are like, whoa, I feel so creatively fulfilled. I'm never going to be one of those people. I don't know who these people are. I mean, I do know this people. Yeah. I think there are. Yeah. And so, but I think like, it's also, if you

think of it as like building your CV or building your portfolio. It's a way to go, here I am. And also, can I say we're not really saying the obvious thing, which is like, make a bloody podcast. You want to host a radio show? Yeah. Make it. It's actually very doable. And, but just have a specific, I think a very specific function of it. Like I know, say, say we, what's the function of ours just to talk to people we like and give advice. But. We're helping. We're helping. But I think as long as you have a specific angle, why not? Yes. People will feel,

Blinky felt seen. Blinky felt scene and Simon felt seen. Yeah. And we learned something about Simon. And Simon's friend's mum felt seen. Yeah. And we learned something about Simon that we wouldn't have. Yeah.

Also, we finally got some recognition for a woman doing man's work again. I think it was beautiful. It's feminism. It's feminism. And I think those are like, the thing is it used to be though, that when we did understand how media worked, the answer would be, sorry, just have to wait for the BBC to get back to you.

Yeah. At least now they're off. options where you can start yourself but also go local it doesn't have to be no BBC I think like there's a whole I mean we know about local radio because we do interviews for them when we're on tour but like there's outside of like the big cities that are like radio stations and to learn the practical skills that go around totally programming and how to run a mixing desk yeah it's going to be good to know because that is going to put you over the line then you know In the future, if it's between you and someone similar to you,

but you know how to panel, you're going to get that job. Oh my gosh, yes. So enjoy being ignorant. Enjoy being new and not knowing. People don't lie. Don't show off to sort of go like, hey, I really want to do this. And I don't know yet. Can you show me people respond so well to not knowing.

Me too. I hate it. Oh, thank you for saying that. I didn't realize I felt that when you said it. If you're a new comedian, don't make out that you've been doing it for years. Ask them how a mic works. Because you will be so embarrassed when you were found out. Because you will be found out.

There's a movie called Catch Me If You Can about the best con man of all time. And he got caught. He got caught. Yeah. You will get caught for lying that you know how to use a microphone. I'm so glad you've said that because actually, A, people do respond well to the truth of being like, please, will you help me? I don't know what I'm doing.

Yeah. And B, it is such a special time. And I think when you put it in. tandem with the fact that you're right there's like you want opportunity to come when you have the skill but also there's a tiny window if you actually get to do this job that you sounds like you want to do when you get to do it you'll realize there was a tiny microscopic window where people weren't watching yeah and it's your only chance to make big mistakes and learn them to play to play like i do you think and this is a lot of people say this they say but

we probably came up in stand-up in a beautiful time when we didn't have to put like i see so many new comedians posting everything they do and stand-up oh my god yeah we We just missed that. We were so lucky. Like, the amount of times we have bombed on and said things to people in ruins, you and I particularly, I'd imagine, I don't know, but. Last night I didn't. Uh-uh. I've seen her, I've seen her ref.

Yeah, yeah. Okay. Holy crap. The things that we have said would ruin our lives. Yeah. Yeah. And I have one last piece of advice for day, which is if you are a man, I don't know if you are, but if you are, why don't you just go ahead and start identifying as a documentary maker?

Yeah. That seems to work. No. For men, it does. Catherine, we literally just said, don't fake it to you make it. She's not faking. She might make. I'm saying that if you are a man and you say you are, you will be.

Yeah. It is kind of a self-sourcing pudding being a man, isn't it? Yeah. Well, that certainly seems to be the case for like lots of the men I know who work in the eye. Yeah. They said they were, so they were. Yeah. No, I honestly think like.

Put it in your Twitter bio. Sorry, X. I was going to say, put it in. your hinge yeah no no no no I honestly think just like no I agree call up places and be like this is my passion this is what I want to do be open about the fact that it's like it's a wide thing like you want anything from kids TV presenting yeah all the way up to like making your own documentary and just be like super open to learn make yourself as helpful as you can for people and just start talking about something that you care

about on TikTok. Doesn't matter what it is. Yeah. One of my favorite favorite comics is Garon Nune who does he's an Irish TikToker. I know who Garan is. Talks about frozen food. That's Irish sound the name. Frozen food. Most of the time it's frozen

food and it's so fucking funny. Talk about something that you're passionate about and it doesn't have to be funny but the passion will be what gets you and I also think I understand what they mean when they're like, you know, I feel like I'm getting older and stuff. Like every everyone feels old.

Like I mean everyone. because every single one of us is the oldest we've ever been in our whole life. I'm four. And so it feels very old. Have you seen that Chinese kid smoking online? Who's like five? That guy's older. He looks so old.

He looks way older than me. Yeah. It's all about perspective, baby. But as in like you have so much more to go. Like I always say, like I, you know, I'm 34 and I worry that like, oh, have I not? And then it's like, oh, I have fucking ages. Yeah. And I think it's because we're now in this weird time of media as well where all the,

people that we loved growing up, whether it be like French and Saunders or those types of people got like, you know, BBC deals when they were like 22 and they were just given TV shows, that's not possible anymore. And it also means that I think you're better, they would even say, like, there's a lot of public things of like our icons that they're probably like, oh, that is an embarrassing thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you're in like a nice time. And like, just get good at what you want to do and work out what you want to do. Don't, it's like there's so much pressure to just start doing it instead of like working out what it is yeah but enjoy the fact that you can work it out yeah hell yeah and you're living with your parents which in theory sounds bad but

probably is like there's a tech talk i would watch that entire ticot series i'm 26 and i live with my parents problem one open a drawer and list what didn't that draw there's your first ticot would what yeah i'd these are the these are the word what 26 i'm living with my parents and here's putting on all the drawers in their house. Yeah. Wood watch. And you work towards. Honestly, I'm so,

I want that more than anything. I think you're now managing D's career, by the way. You won't have to do those cruises. You can just manage all the TikTokers. But then we go on a cruise and we, for money, we open drawers on the cruise.

That's good stuff. I'm so glad you brought up the cruise again. Genuinely would love to like fix out a way that I could get one of those ships. Yeah. I know exactly who books it. I mean, they're not going to fly you over from the UK.

Oh, fly over. Oh. fly over. I'll get on the ship myself. If not, there's a P&O port in Southampton. What do we learn about touching? No. What do we ask? It's a really fun jacket. Can I touch you please? Yes, you can touch it. Sequence. Reese Nicholson, where can people see you, please? They can see me touring around the country right now this very second, but I don't know where this is going to come out, but like three weeks? Yeah, something like that. Okay, so I'm not in Melbourne anymore. That's done. It's done. You missed

it's over uh i'm going to i'm going to places like brisbane i'm going to places like perth go on reisnickleson dot com to get your detail i'm going to brisbane and perth see you there do you want to come to australia zoo yeah sure we can see um uh rob robert irwin and bindi he's all like he's a little bit hot but in a way that i'm not sure it's okay because he's 19 but he looks like a man like he looks like yeah yeah that's what they all say yeah i didn't know It looks like a man. Don't panic. He's of age.

Put it on a t-shirt. That could be a teetail. But yeah, I don't know. And like, I don't know. There's a new season of drag race coming out. Yeah, there is. I'm coming to the UK. I'm doing a tour.

We're about to announce a tour. And I'm going to do Edinburgh. Say more about the UK tour and Edinburgh because we have obviously got loads of listeners then. Yeah. So doing Edinburgh, full run. Oh my God. Where's your venue?

The show is, I'm doing one of the rooms in Underbelly. Great. What's it called? It's called huge big party. congratulations. Nice. I think I'm on at 820, one of those weird.

Fine, great. Yeah, around there. We'll be there. Reis Nicholson, huge big party. I can't wait to see it. Yeah.

And then I'm too, we haven't got the full dates yet, but I'm doing like a, after Edinburgh, I'll be kind of in July, September and October, I'll be traveling around the lovely country. Oh my God, gorgeous.

You're not going to do Ireland or anything. I think I might be going to Ireland, maybe. I think there's talk of it. Woo-hoo. But maybe. Oh, you must. You think about all the cousins of me.

There was the last two. Yeah, true. There was a, the last tour that I did there, there was a lot of, like, why aren't you coming to Ireland? And I, I can imagine that. I agree. We love drag race. We love redheads. We love the gay.

Hey, look, I only toured Ireland for the first time last year, but it was so lush. Yeah. I think you'd have a gorgeous time there. I've been to the Dublin, like, to that weird comedy festival. It's in the park. Oh, the Ivy Gardens. We love that festival. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. It's incredible. I don't mean, weird in a bad way, but I mean, weird in like a... It's weird because it's a beautiful destination. Yeah, you're like, you're like, huh? come for half an hour? Is that all right? It seems like such a posh place. It's really gorgeous and then we're all just like piling in. You're not really

even usually like allowed on the grass kind of energy. What's his name in there? Um, Irish writer, gay. Oscar Wild. Not in the Ivy Gardens and a different garden. Isn't it? Isn't it? Around the corner. Oh yeah, maybe. Oscar Wild. It's definitely a statue. I know the statue. I've seen it. By this. Yeah.

You've made him so camp. He was. He was. He fucking was. He fucking was. He was. You have made him camper. Good, I can't say anything anymore, can I can't touch what I want? It's a bloody nightmare. This is how the men felt. Now you can see. Time's up, Helen.

Times up. But now maybe D can make a documentary about that. Poor Helen. Times up, Helen. How about a documentary about me going on a cruise ship? I would watch a poor thing style movie, but about you. Poor Helen. That was unkind.

That was unsigned. You fucking your way around. I'm a fully formed human being. It's just called poor thing. Yeah. I would watch, make that please. Make that.

Hey everybody, follow Reese Nicholson. Watch their show. See them in London. See them in Edinburgh. See them in Dublin. Because they better go there. Have a gorgeous day.

See them in person and touch their jacket. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. Love you. Bye.

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