Trusty Hogs - Ep140. MICHAEL ODEWALE / Penguins, Pits and Pool Parties

Episode Date: June 27, 2024

We're back this week with the wonderful Michael Odewale, talking mummy issues, mental health and Helen's holiday...FOLLOW MICHAEL: @MichaelOdewaleComedyTOUR TICKETS: www.trustyhogs.com/tourThank you so much for listening!Support us at www.patreon.com/TrustyHogs for exclusive bonus content, merch, and more!Trust us with your own problems and questions... [e-mail] give us a follow @TrustyHogs on all socialsBe sure to subscribe and rate us (unless you don’t like these little piggies - 5 Stars only!)All links: https://audioalways.lnk.to/trustyhogsSNThank you to our Patreon supporters...EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Guy Goodman / Simon Moores / Annie Tonner / Stefanie Catracchia / Oliver Jago / Anthony Conway / Neil Redmond / Madeline Quinne / Grace O'Reilly / Jay SPRODUCERS: Richard Bicknell / Elle / Richard Bald / Harald van Dijk / Tim & Dom / David Walker / Rachel R / Sadie Cashmore / Claire Owen-Jones / Jess & Nick / Sarah & Molly / Raia Fink / Cordelia / Rachel Page / Helen A / Tina Linsey / Graham Marsh / Amy O'Riordan / Abbie Worf / Matt Sims / Luke Bright / Leah / Kate Spencer / Tristin / Liz Fort / Taz / Anthony / Klo / Becky Fox / Dean Michael / Sophie Chivers / Carey Seuthe / Charley A / KC / Aussie Steph / Jam Rainbird / Nathan Smith / Amanda McCall / Tamsyne Smith-Harding / Hannah JWith Helen Bauer (Daddy Look at Me, Live at the Apollo) & Catherine Bohart (Roast Battle, Mock the Week, 8 Out of 10 Cats)FOLLOW HELEN, CATHERINE & ANDREW...@HelenBaBauer@CatherineBohart@StandUpAndrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Welcome to episode 140 of Trustee Hoggs. it's me, Catherine Boeh-Haw-B-B-B-B-la-la. It's Catherine Bo-Hart and Hell of Power. It is. And we do think, you're right, I think it is probably time to... 1-40s too many. It's time to call. It's Gauch.

It's time. It's gosh. It's desperate. It's sad. It screams our dance don't like us. But I think that's fine. I think we've always been a sort of new money podcast. You know what I mean?

We are a goche. Don't you think? Yeah, come on. No one who's got family money spending it on this kind of thing. I think put down Bacon Hagen. Sorry. I just think there's a time when it's like, when do we call this? 140, that...

It's not now, we've just gotten some people on Patreon. Through the fog, step forth the trusty hogs. Yeah, you're going to give them your problems and they will solve them. Or maybe they won't, and that's your problem. They'll have guests and Andrew White on the tech. Oh, it's Helen and Catherine as the trusty hugs Trust the trusty hogs or maybe not Do you feel like we should rebrand and start a new one?

No. We should rebrand because I don't know if you've noticed But in the new studio, our photos don't reach all the way down So they've like added in fake hands and fake legs And my fake hands look horrific So I'm not against, as a lesbian, excuse me, don't damage the brand so I am like comfortable with having new branding done and it's just like better shots of my thingies question as a lesbian yeah what's more important tongue or fingers oh it's a good one

oh my goodness me can I say what I think I know the answer for me thingies yeah I do think that's crazy I'll tell you for why though you can't always get down there as in like you know sometimes you're sat up or in a public space or whatever you can't be like hands are sort of a more dynamic. Stop. It's a real business hour when you're like getting tongue involved, don't you think?

It's like we've got time, we put on music, there's a candle. You guys are putting each other just on the tube. No, we're fudding each other on the tube. I just mean like, your hands are more like,

I think you can use them on more occasions. Yeah, it's like if you put a tongue and a badge like on the bus, like too much. Yeah, or even like camping. It just feels a bit much, although I don't camp.

I don't know, I'm not one of those lesbians. I was just trying to think of lesbian examples. I guess, yeah, I just think like, Do what do you think? For a straight woman, it's breath. Yeah, I think fingers are more important.

But listen, it's not, it's also just like, yeah, it's just more dynamic and it can be, you know, in a tighter spot, you're covered. Yeah, we're to say her body, her choice. That's what I always think. Her body, her choice. But I would, I just, it feels to me like a scented candle, fresh sheets.

We've got an hour moment when you're like heading down there with a tongue, I think. God, I would not say fresh sheets is a moment to go out of the tongue. that's just before you wash your sheets. Oh my God. For me. But we're not disgusting. You're about to get it all warm and sweaty.

Wouldn't you want to like the sheets after that? I just mean like it's an affair is all I mean. Like it's a, it's a moment. It's a moment. Yeah. Best scent to have sex to. Best candle scent. Goodness me.

Because it can't be too energetic. It can't be like a citrus. I agree with you. Because that's bathroom me. I agree with you. I do like an oud. I think an oud really makes for a sexy vibe. Okay.

I think, yeah, I think But I think I could get down to most To be honest I think for everyone it's like you can get down to most Apart from whatever your granny or mum's party No roses, no roses, I do agree No rose scented candles It's like, like chenelle

Is it number five? My mum had that Like, oh like Are you buying Chanel number five candle And you're using them free of phone? Can you? No, I don't know How do I know? I don't know I don't know I don't shop at Chanel

Actually that's not true I once had a foundation from Chanel and I looked fucking fit shit How'd you get it for free? No, I bought it Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

How come? On one of my spend-a-thon days. Oh God, were you feeling manic? Mm-hmm. Okay, best sent for you? Best sent for me to get down to. I know what you're going to say. Domino.

I was like, I was like, I was like, she's going to take a bad, but she said dominoes. I love eating in bed while being looked out. I know you do. I know you do. Like a good food. But it is so hard to like put energy. into sex when you've carbloaded.

It just is. But that's why it's smart to do them at the same time. Yeah. Because actually if you know it's coming after, it's hard to focus on the sex if you're like, once this is done me a pizza. Yeah. And if you're hungry, it's so hard to do anything else.

I do agree. I do agree. Opposite though. No, no, I'd say there's a candle from St. Is it E-V-A-L? It's a Cornish company. Is it's a St. Ival. It can't be St.

Evil. I don't think it is, but it might be. They're different down there in Kernow. but I was thinking like there's one called sensuality that's a bit on the nose for me

but it's really that seems a little desperate if I walked in somebody who's lighting handle sensuality I'd be like we would just like see what happened

how about one called tranquility that feels like they're going to put something in a drink tell you what's amazing there's a nothing for that

sorry I don't know honestly you talking to me is just you waiting for your turn to talk it's like I'll speak and I watch you

zone out as I answer. And it's like, forget it, go on. No, no jokes for hell if you don't listen. Something about a drink. You said Tranquility, I said it sounds like they're going to put something in your drink. Oh, oh, that's too close to the line for me. Is it? Is it?

See the extras last week. What happened in the extras last week? The whole smooth sides affair. The, oh God. We can't talk about it. Please join the Patreon. it there's a candle there's a company that does like the Disney candles like the sense of Disneyland there can't be a scent of Disneyland other than like they pump out at different areas

no it's not just hamburgers popcorn why would it be popcorn one there's one that's called the scent of Main Street and it's just like that's rank no it's not Main Street USA like bakeries and popcorn and hot dogs yeah that's all what did I just say did you not listen to a word I say. Hello. I'll be like, is it hamburgers and popcorn? You're like, no, it's popcorn and hamburgers. Welcome to episode 140. For me. Welcome. I have a new body goal. You ready for us? Yes. Okay. So I recently started, I've been trying to reprogram my Instagram, as you know, because all it ever shows me is weight loss and fitness, which is our new word for weight loss. But I've been trying to reconfigure it because you always get sloths and stuff and I want animals. So I started

following lots of corgis and then I know, then I saw this page and it was a little corgi looking in the mirror and it was saying I am cute, I am stumpy, I've got a rumplicious dumpy. I have never looked at the mirror and thought I am cute, I am stumpy. I have a rumpilicious dumpy. I've got a rumplicious dumpy and I thought that's all I want to do

now. It's I want to treat myself like that. Why not? I am cute and stumpy. You have a rompilicious dumpy? I'm got a you do have such a good dumpy It's just a surprise Whenever I turn to rent people are like Okay but I'm like I never speak to myself like that And that's my new body goals now

So I've saved it as my screen saver So every time I mean to myself You know every four seconds or so I can just look down And it's little rumplicious dumbing Nice I love that And have you managed to do it

Is your Instagram now like Mainly like different animal It's no I have a lot of work to do On my Instagram I don't know why I think it's because I always click on You know like You want a quick fix to hating yourself

By which I mean like this will fix you This will change your body in four days And I gotta stop doing that I'm very like quick to click It's awful, isn't it? It is but I've got a couple of like animals You could follow that like post every day Mango and Tango

Are these cats? I don't want cats They're so fucking lashes Mambos birthday yesterday Well happy birthday to Mambo But can I get some non-cats please Okay wait Omuchi is a lovely little rain frog That likes to walk around Okay I'm into that

You're gonna lose your mind for him I've got so many to send you actually had you follow round boys yet what are round boys round boys are just like animals that are circular okay oh no yeah like seals just like a perfect circle just coming out of the water round boys are you following the cornish seal sanctuary yeah why so many of my friends are following round boys yeah because it's like the best thing what was the one um cornish seal sanctuary no they seem a bit sad but the deaths have happened for this year I think the rest are fine it's only June yeah Oh, that'd be fine.

What do you think? Yeah, yeah, 100%. Don't lie to me. No, no, they're grand. They're loving life. Feel sanctuary. Oh, God. M, I send you so many.

If anyone couldn't hear that, that was M. Oh, my going, yep. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. I went through a phase of sending M exclusively animals in the wrong place. Do you remember boom boom boom? Yeah.

Oh, boom boom boom. Who's boom boom boom? He's an American buffalo who likes going into houses. And the. video would be just this guy being like boom boom you can't be in there you get in the house and it's just this insane buffalo like huh oh my god i love that boom boom you didn't do anything wrong but you're not supposed to be in there i love that the owner's like it's about intent hey what's the um what's his handle boom boom boom i've just followed corgi world

boom boom yeah wait i'd have to go to my messages to em and then go through them boom boom hiller seems to be some sort of music no no it's definitely a buffalo um boom boom buffalo okay i'm going to send these all to you afterwards because i cannot find them right now if you would because i'm finding a lot of people who's um has deleted me off instagram which is incredibly awkward if you could that'd be nice because i keep finding a load of men who are just called like buffalo joe and oh follow them no i did that's not for me follow them that's for you that's not for me what are you doing i also follow a couple of zoos that i go to i don't know how i feel about zoos yeah a lot of people feel that way that's okay oh there's just there's just so many wonderful things

on instagram if you are able to do it never i feel a bit mad because um never because never um um context of this episode is that last night we went to see girls aloud sorry one more english bulldog paradise i don't believe in england One more, one more. One more, English bulldog paradise. I don't know if that's for me. Is there an Irish ballpark? You won't regret it.

They've got such wrinkly little faces. Okay, that does. They look so unhappy. Okay, that sounds nice. Is there a staffy account I could follow? Oh, for sure they will be. I like how they're always smiling. They're always smiling.

Excel bullies, do you like them? You can watch them climbing up walls. No, thank you. Incredibly big boys. Very aggressive, yeah. That's all right. Thank you so much. That's all right.

Oh my God. at these staffies. Stan the staffies. I'm Stanley a tiny tornado. Oh, cute. Oh, look at it. Leslie, I want to see one thing. Oh.

We can't just be two women in their 30s, crying at a picture of a puppy on a sticker. Staffies of Instagram following. Don't mind if we do. Instagram's such a wonderful place. It really can be. it turns out it doesn't just have to be women telling you that they've just discovered protein

hey no last night actually I have just discovered protein but in a fun way I forgot that about you but this is like women who definitely haven't just discovered they're like they used to be bodybuilders and now they only work out eight times a week

and they're like did you know sometimes it can just be what you're eating anyway I'm so glad you're on a different Instagram now yeah I'm trying to be I'm really trying to be it was super dark girls allowed girls loud here's my review

Nadine can Freakins sing Cheryl can absolutely fucking dance And sing And Kimberly They are really dressing that woman

They're still dressing that woman Like they're embarrassed She has a body Why? I did not think that Really I feel like they all get sexy outfits And then they're like mortified

Kimberly is there So they're like put her in I think they all had fit outfits Did you really think that Every single time They had their arms out She had a balero A jacket

every single time they were wearing legs out she had full pants I did not okay I did not pick up on that at all I felt like she was dressed like you know Paula Peel's character is a how you say Paula Peel's character

yeah I was like why are they so like they covered her up so much I didn't not notice that I thought they all looked fucking fire my own they did all look fire but I was just a bit like why is she come as like a business woman my only problem because we must criticize women's

appearance the hair extensions on those girls with the neck movements they were doing they will be like immobilized within a year like I do hear you Cheryl had like I'm gonna not in every 100 pounds of hair extensions minimum do you mean wait or cost wait no 100% and she's this with her hair and I was like a good dancer she's honestly incredible to watch move she's such a good answer. Nicola finds the choreo so stressful that she can't smile and I've never related harder to anyone she's obviously thinking like

six seven six seven eight six seven six that she just cannot smile you can't just enjoy things can you Catherine listen I really enjoyed what seems to be Sarah Hardy's funeral again but it was have you ever seen so many photos of women

I was like this is so intense it was so sad it was sad and also like a real vibe killer it was a vibe maker did you think we experienced this so differently we really did like the moment when they were like

we're gonna do I'll stand by you which time they went so many moments like once they sang I'll stand by you and they went we're gonna let Sarah sing fast and then we'll join in you know they never once said Sarah they said our beautiful amazing firecracker Sarah or they was always like eight adjectives which is nice which is nice

and they let her sing first and then you had to like sing with the people in your group and hold on to them and me and Anna Grant were in tears were you actually crying? Yeah, are you kidding? Helen and I were talking

Helen and I were talking about how what a show called her short haircut had on hairdressers for all those years you know where you'd go in and be like short pixie please well Ellen would and they'd be like

how at the top of the back is huge we were literally sitting next to each other how did I sat down for a minute you missed the first five songs because you were getting chicken and chips Yeah. Outrage.

Don't be acting like I wasn't committed to the gig and more than you. Me and Anna Grant were hungry, so I went for chicken and chips and then got drinks. You missed biology? I miss biology. You miss Love Machine? It was crazy. Which is a shame because Love Machine is like the one I know the best. I know.

It is a real thing. I had to learn that. Do you remember this? Last year when I was filming Extraordinary, I had to sing Love Machine on the set. And I had to learn it on the day because it was originally a different. the song but they changed it on the day. So I like actually know all the lyrics to it. Jump was epic.

Jump was epic. We probably shouldn't talk about this too much because we ultimately went to the gig because we're going on gig pigs. Hybo Graham and Alex Key's podcast to talk about it. And it would be crazy for us to do our entire review now. But I have basically given my... I loved it. I missed the beginning to eat and Catherine left early to get the tube and it was quiet.

I left before the encore. I say for the second's last song and I know I did because I looked up a playlist on the She just... Yeah, he kept showing it to be like, we're nearly done.

It's nearly over. Don't worry. And then afterwards, I got a sorbay inside of the O2. I hate organized fun so much, and yet I insist on

organizing all fun. Even when it's organized by the girls. Oh, God. It was, do you know the day... You know, I can't keep talking about it. Can we talk about Owen?

We can't talk about Owen, we should save this for their podcast. Okay, but just really quickly. There was a man in the audience that you fell in love with immediately. I was obsessed with him. Enchanted, she was enchanted. I was enchanted. He knew every word to every song.

A ginger gay man in Orange, don't mind if we do. That's confidence. That is confidence. Boyfriend, husband, partner, whatever, right behind him, filming the whole thing. His name's not Owen, I assumed it was. He just had that vibe. Yeah.

Obviously to play for him like every year in his birth from that point onwards, he didn't like, he wasn't like smiling massively, but like every song he was like he knew every single word to songs where he'd be like what is that what is this? Oh and the girls had no idea

that not all of us knew they're like really like B-side records they're like you guys will know this one we actually don't think I'm just Owen like Slay

Nadine go Owen knew every single word and he only moved his shoulders it was so intense but it was the greatest night of his life why did he go on a Sunday oh you know all the words babe

treat yourself to a Friday show. He'd been there Friday and Saturday as well. Do you think? A hundy pee. Oh, bless him. Nothing shocked him. Maybe he was dancing with his whole body on Friday and he's only got the shoulders left. I loved it. But listen to gigpigs whenever we record that. Yeah, absolutely. Now, come here to me.

No. You've been on holiday. No. Oh, I have, yeah. I've been to Italia. Yeah? See, see, see. You're so good at languages that it becomes so apparent when you don't know any of one. American.

with latte, a little latte, for the favor, thank you. Bye. Ciao, chow, chow.

No, yeah, picked a battalion just like that. Fluent now. I can really tell. Yeah, Parmesan.

Best thing you ate? Oh, ice cream. Which kind? pistachio. Mainly pistachio, but the hazelnut ice cream is insane.

Fuck, yes. And I had these lemon granita drinks. You know those, like, you know, it's shaved ice with like fresh, It's so good.

My mom got one as well. No, no, just like regular. Okay. Just like, my mom had one. I have never seen this before, but she is 70. And I think she had her first brain freeze ever. She was like, oh, what is? Ow!

Ow! I thought you were going to say she had her first lemon. Like those babies, you know, those babies on TikTok? But you should have filmed this too. That's also very funny. And my brother was like, are you okay? And she was wrong. And she was like, I've got a headache all of a sudden.

A very painful headache, drinking an ice drink. And it's like, oh, she's got brain freeze. No, what's that? What's that? Why was she pounding? I don't know how she got to 70 and never had brain freeze. But also, what pace was she drinking? Just slow down.

Oh, fucking, her mom's from Newcastle. Like, like, an absolute shock. Fucking how. I went, it was actually a really cultural time. It was really, it was nice. Shall I ask you again in the extra? Everyone who went on a family holiday in their 30s. can attest to.

It's just in great time just checking with your siblings and mum to know why they're your family and not your chosen family. Whoa. Things were bad. A straight person just like chosen family. She's stressed.

It was actually okay. It was a lot of art. What kind of art? It was just, I never heard of this before, but this was like my mother's 70th birthday gift as well as like my sister's birthday was on Saturday.

So, like, we sort of like, round up. They both like arts. We went to the Biennale. Do you guys know what this is? No. No, it's like a, it happens like every two years. I think there's one in Singapore as well. But it's like every country gets its own pavilion and they do are on like a topic that's chosen.

So like Tracy Emond did it back in the day, but it's like new artists. Okay. And every country submits. Like, I think Russia gave their pavilion to a different country this year. Like there's a couple of like, political stuff. Because you don't have time for art when you're way doing war. Yeah. but it was like

I don't know why I got so amazing but the theme was I guess they probably do they should spend more time one hour yeah the theme was and I'm sure it's beautiful in Italian

but it was foreigners everywhere what a time to be English in Italy Foreign is everywhere and obviously the signs are written in Italian and English That's very funny and it's just like this can't be it And the any of the language I could read

was like German Fremde Oudla'all That's very unnerving This doesn't feel great But some of the pavilions were incredible That reminds me there's a super racist party in Ireland That unfortunately just got more seats than they should have Or votes at all

But their phrase everywhere on all their posters during the elections are Ireland is full And you're like What the fuck you're doing you right? Ireland's famously not full You still haven't got your population up to before the thing Do you know it? Don't say the thing, say the words

Famine. There you go. You can say it. Sorry. Sorry. Good. Good. Good.

Good. It's not all on me though, is it? No. But you could say it. Sorry. We're sorry. We're sorry. Andrew, say sorry.

I'm sorry. Good. There we go. Brilliant. M's also looking sorry. But there was some like amazing, it's on until September. Oh, I'm not going.

Sorry, I just wonder. Like. But most Pavilion. were Pokemon stops so that kept me entertained Nice, nice nice get anything good Nothing is the same like

region as the UK So like nothing like crazy exciting Anything nice in the gift shops Were there gift shops? Yeah were gift shops I did buy a fridge Maggie From Murano Which is the island

I was staying on Which is like a different island Oh this is the drama My flight got cancelled I thought you were staying in Venice Well Venice is like a collection of islands But I was staying on the cheaper island To Venice

Because if you stay on Venice It's very busy That's where they're being an island Is it smell yet? Is it that time of year where the water smells bad? No, it's fine. Okay, the hotter it gets,

the smellier I guess. Ew, I tell you what, they're talking about smell. Some of the pavilions had like a scent art installation. No. So there'd be like smells and it would be like a,

what was it called? Odorama. I think Korea didn't odorama. It was really amazing. It was like the sense of their childhood and like growing up as an immigrant in Korea and it was like, I mean, luckily the scent changed

every 15 minutes and I could see one of them was fish markets. I got out before that. But some of the, intentional odorama rooms surprising and problematic too much my favorite room the bead room Canada just had loads of beads I'm not quite sure what I represented but I loved it that's interesting well you don't know what it represented was it like sexual well or friendship that would be so Canada you'd be like oh sexy and they'd be like their friendship no it represents

foreigners everywhere yeah but like an abacus you stop reading all the signs because sometimes you look at the art and you're like my interpretation is better than the signs how do you know because then you read the sign afterwards and you go no right okay good for you

mine was bad fuck the artist you know best you know best absolutely oh my gosh that's so nice well I did some culture

oh go on well I want to hear about your flight being cancelled but just on this Em took me to because you know when I go on tour usually I find the nearest cafe and then work all day

and then go to my show and then get real weird outside yeah I'm so fun but Em was like why do we stop at the Yorkshire sculpture park thank you

oh my god so nice we had such a lovely walk we saw such a sweet cow there was a real life cow he was a highland cow like you know like with a big it was a bull a coo it was amazing and then all this um amazing art it was so exciting and then she told me how damien hurst is actually a bad guy and then i learned about um i also read the signs there and you're right some of those signs were boring but i loved the walk in the field and i liked seeing the art and i felt so much better afterwards but then we went to the bathroom and there was a school tour of children and they were approximately eight and there were approximately 800 of them and then we had to wait to go to the loo there and then by the time we left I was sweating but other than that it was a really nice time

then we have fun in that sounds so nice it was really lovely we're in an art era I also went to the yoko ono exhibit at the tape modern we're in our it's just great it was just really funny really fun she's cool yeah yeah she's just funny she's funny she's got like funny bits like all these little poems and like life affirmations like one of them was like smoke everything including your pubic hair. Ah, no, I don't like that. I just loved it. It was really cool.

Do we find it if it was a deep fake when John Lennon had that long butt crack and she had a little bit crack? Huh? Or if that, everyone saw that on the internet recently, right? Wait, what are you talking about? Okay, there's this thing going around on the internet where everyone was like, you know, you've heard of it, the internet where things go around. And it's like, I was like this year's old when I found it that you could have this

bigger differential in book cracks. And then you saw their book cracks? Did you guys see? His is so long and hers is so time. Andrew's Googled her. Andrew's Google there. It's a crazy disparity. It's definitely a Photoshop.

I don't know what the original is. I don't think it was confirmed as a Photoshop. Oh, no, this is definitely a Photoshop. Turn your screen around. No, that's it. Yeah. She's got a lower ass. No, that's not an ass.

Pass around the room, Andrew. I think his could be real. It's like, but then I'm, I mean, honestly, it's an endless wife. But didn't we discuss this for like three episodes, I'd say around episode 50, the difference between sizes of like from the hole to your asshole? No, you discussed to that. The people have like three inches or one inch.

You discussed the length of perennium. I did not do that. Perennium. There we go. And perineum. Who knows? Close, whatever. Yeah. One of them's a gooch.

One of them's a gooch. Yeah. But my point is this. This is about the high, like how high up your book crack goes and how low it starts. Where does your start? Yeah, we'll prop the same, I think. Give the height's differential, like on our bodies, I think we're about saying. Where does yours...

Where do you count yours is stopping? I found the original. You found the original? I've also accidentally seen John Leonard's penis. Accidently. But here is the original. So it was a photo shot. Yeah, but that's still a crazy difference.

Yeah, yeah. still like that's such a cute photo just holding hands I think I got duped by the Photoshop I think that's not a crazy difference I feel like unfortunately that's exactly right M's defending this weird ass different I think everything's normal I think it'd be

odd if your ass died halfway up your spine I think that would be uncomfortable like wiping wise of fucking nightmare like how do you know I mean because like washing that part of your back already is it's tricky I do you think we're the only people to be commenting on this four months after it was on the internet We're in our art era, baby.

Have you guys I heard about the Biennale? I can't wait till Christmas when we talk about the Euros. So listen, are you watching? Is that the football that's happening? The Lionesses men's team, yeah. The Lionesses men's sleigh. No, didn't Scotland go out last night? Yes.

Yeah. Oh, no. We were all assuming that they would win. Guy, new. How did they do it? Did you go Newcastle? No, I can't remember how to say no in Scots. Gosh.

You went so Georgie. Hello, dear. No! Nice, you got there. Wow, how very Mrs. Downfire of you. I liked it. But wait, so, then your flight got cancelled. Yeah, I went to the airport on Friday night after it being like, it was delayed, delayed, delayed.

And I was like, I'm not going to the airport. I know it's going to be cancelled. I've had this before where they delay, delay, delay it, delay. They don't call it as cancelled, but just go. call it cancelled and I was like the island over from where I was saying was the airport so it was like a 30 minute boat ride so I was like I'm fine and

my family were at the Airbnb for another night so it wasn't like the end of the world and it did get cancelled but I'd just gone to the airport because I said it was on last minute so I was like oh my god rush rush rush rush I got to the airport I did that stupid thing where like you know when you like see someone

who's in the same situation as you and you start a conversation with them oh god because I'd just seen she's spoken to someone and I was like oh are you going to the easy jet counter and she was like yeah and I was like oh I'll come with you did she say where it was and we were like oh it's so annoying isn't it oh yeah so annoying and like she told me that she had a husband really quickly and I was like I'm not interested love um like I'm just trying to be helpful if I were I'd be lighting my sensuality candle but I'm not so let's fucking stay on message and do you ever think like I know I'm not like the sharpest knife in the drawer but like

have you ever attached yourself like one of the genuine thick people are like We're dealing with a spoon here. Yeah, they said the easy jet thing was downstairs. No, she wasn't, she was really poor. The easy jet thing was downstairs. And I was like, oh, amazing. So I went with her. And then she was like, I think it must be this way because they said to turn left.

And she started walking through like her arrivals. Like where it's like, I don't think it's through there. And she was like, let me just check. I was like, it's not through there. And I was like, send her there waiting bill. I need to ditch. I need to ditch her. Yeah, you got to run the other way.

And then like all of her plans of solution were absolutely. absolutely mad and I was like look there's like five seats left on a Ryan air flight tomorrow because there was no seat there was no flight until Monday on ease jet and like I knew the terms and conditions were that it's like if they can't get you on a new flight within 24 hours you book a different flight and they have to repay you the full amount to get home so I was like there's five seats left on one flight tomorrow like to stands that it's a different airport but that you should do it and um she was like I don't know I might call my husband and I was like I'm buying it You fuck off. Good for you. Did you get, so you got your seat? I did. Was she on the same flight as my mummy? After the holiday.

Amazing just when you thought you'd have a little bit of a loan time. It was cool. Did you sit beside each other? No, thank God. We checked him separately. Nice nice. So we had two rows between us. But we had a really nice drink together.

It was, I'm being so harsh. She was great, actually. It was all fine. You're not being harsh. You're being great. I think you've been great. I'm glad you had a good time. And did she have something warm to drink

in the airport? Fast brain freeze. What did she have in the airport? Probably. I went for a mooch and bought headphones. I finally joined the what they called wireless headphones

brigade. You just got wireless headphones. Well Rosie Jones bought me a pair in 2020 but I lost one immediately and I was like it's not doing it. It's absolutely pointless while I waste the time.

Why did she buy you headphones? They're incredible. I think she was sick of waiting for me to untangle my headphones. She was like I'm buying you wireless. Shout out Rosie Jones obviously. but like she got them for me

I lost one immediately but they're incredible Catherine yeah I know just pop them in yeah everyone just pairs with your phone no I know yeah no wires no no wires at all

wireless got it yeah so no tangling up just walk around and they just plays nothing's getting caught wonderful wow wonderful

I'd love to plug them actually that's okay but you can't no wire I went for a nice pair because I've got hello hello

you fuck you man i'm just out here joking for the dads i'm just out here for the dads and that's fine hey how are you we should you said your period didn't come which is so unlike you wait i've got really fun text she's not pregnant she was just stressed yeah i'm always here now um what was what were you saying i'm not going to repeat myself ever again on this podcast that's my new commitment my period was five days like so stressed is that it look at me yeah new rule no phones no well that was always a rule that's an old rule new rule i'm not going to repeat myself anymore if you don't listen i won't say it again oh no i know not nice so unkind or necessary listen helen listens maybe let's try it okay okay all right give it a rule

i my period was five days late very good good guess yeah because of stress yeah but then it came Did it come on the flight home? It came like an hour before the flight home. Fucking hell. Which was so funny. Was it? And I'm reading a really nice book on the plane that distracted me. What's it called?

Long chapters. I don't know if you'd like it. Okay. But it's really good. Clara and the Sun. It's another Ishiguru book. Oh, okay. Yeah.

All right. Maybe I'm reading up my holiday. You would love it. It's like. Maybe I'm a holiday. If anyone who's new here, Catherine prefers short chapter books. I do. Not like short books, but just.

I just need to feel like I could read it and it won't take too long and I also need to feel like I can achieve something and I also need to feel like I won't get stressed mid chapter and I also need to feel like I also need to feel like I can do it like I also need to feel like I can't like I totally get it um but clarin the sun is really good I probably finished it this week I can bring it in for you if I would actually love that when are you going on holiday Sunday oh never mind to see each other well maybe we want to be able to well. No, I hope not. Maybe are you gicking in redding on Thursday? I'm not digging in Redding on Thursday. I'm not a shame. I'm still on tour. I'm still on tour. I can't believe you're still on tour. I'm still on tour. No, this week I have um, oh my God, I went to

a place called Corsham and um. Corsham or not center? Was it? It was somewhere. Okay. Well, I went there and I was talking to an audience member, a lovely audience member and I was like, just anyone married their first partner and she was like me and I was like, oh, tell me more. like we've already had this conversation he's dead and I was like and then I remember that the last time I was there she sat in the exact same

seat and we did talk about it and then I was like oh god but I remember this guy were you here last time do we have any fun banter and he was like I am also a widower and I was like so that's kind of the energy I'm bringing to tour yeah but they hooked their together now they met on this support group which I told me about this yeah I was like oh yeah aren't you in some sort of dating group and they were like it is a support group and I was like amazing amazing so we have an up so we have an up update from your previous interaction, you know, when you asked a fan if they wanted a photo and they said they didn't want a photo with you. She was holding her phone. Andrew, she was talking to

be holding her phone. I was like, do you want a photo? Sometimes they do. And then she was like, that's really not my vibe. And I was like, that lives with me now. I don't do it. One of the people that works for the Biennale, I don't know if they listened to this podcast. They recognized me and they were holding their phone. I was like, I'm not going to say, I'm not going to say. I'm not going to be like, do you want a photo? I live. I just, it's, why, why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? why why why why why why why hell oh my god also there was something somebody recognized me somewhere else it was a new low oh that's what it was I was walking my friend's dog and I had just picked up a shit and this woman pulled up on her bike and she was like hi I'm listening to your

podcast right now she was so nice she was Irish big fan but I was like I'm a big fan of her stomach she was a big fan of me anyway I was just like hi I'm holding a bag of shit god will ever get recognised with makeup on just one time you don't need makeup you're so without it. But I wish... It's desperate when you wear it. I'm wearing it right now. Yeah.

And we all think it. This will make you feel better. Will it? I think yes. It's from Nama. He says, oh, Catherine, I'm so sorry. I'm that girl from Winchester. That was the first and now only time

I've ever had the balls to go up to a form after a show. Oh, no. I didn't even realize I was actually clutching my phone. So when you asked about the photo, I was so thrown off my script, the immediate responsible was to bail on the whole situation. situation. P.S. Cassandra and I are going steady. Oh, that made me feel so much. Oh, my God. She was sat beside a hot older woman who'd never tried women and I was like, this needs to happen and

Cassandra was open to it. So I really hope that that's going. I hope that she's not just joking, but I think she's just joking. But God, I wish they were fucking. Fire! I know. Okay, that's actually a very reassuring and kind message. I feel like we're in a good place to bring on our guests now. Right? Are we in a good place mentally? Yeah. I think this might be the first ever episode we've brought on a guest to niceness. I know. I was like, I'm going to jump in here before I think we should. Yeah. Okay. quick. Are you ready? I'm literally ready.

Are you ready? Yes, please. No, let's do a show of a whole thing because we saw guys allowed. Are you ready? What? How do you not know this? Are you ready?

I'm ready. Whenever you're ready. I'm ready. Are you ready? I'm ready. What's this from X Factor? TV! YouTube!

Plug yourself in! It's Michael Adewale! It's Michael Adewale! I don't know. That's so famous. I believe you, but you haven't seen the asses. You just got wireless headphones. I'm not taking this from you.

Hey, folks, it's Mark Bitman from the podcast, Food with Mark Bitman. It's hard for me to believe we're talking about back to school, but whether you're thinking lunchboxes or nourishing dinners, Whole Foods Market is the place to shop, and their high standards allow you to shop with confidence. Their house brand, 365 by Whole Foods Market, has everything you need for quick and convenient breakfast, lunches, and dinners from oatmeal to trail mix to wild fish sticks. Explore the many ways you can save on back-to-school foods at Whole Foods Market. Avoiding your unfinished home projects because you're not sure where to start, Thumbtack knows home so you don't have to.

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You know me. Hey, guess what? I'm doing a six-part radio series, and it's every Friday night at 6.30, so they're letting me have the big spot. How exciting. The show is called TLDR. I did a pilot for months and months ago,

but they need an audience, basically. for all six weeks, and I'm worried that it'll just be the radio for elderly people. So if you could take your useful selves to the website, please, I'd really appreciate that. And you can put in a code hoglet, H-O-G-L-E-T, like a little hog. And isn't that cute? And then you'll get priority access to the live shows. They've recorded every Thursday night for six weeks in a row from the end of July to the start of September, so there's two in Edinburgh as well.

Basically, I'm doing a show called TLDR, and you can get tickets as a guarantee. tea if you're a hogglister if you put in hogglitz and I love it if you were there otherwise it'll just be me and the posh nerds who I'll be very grateful to see as well it's sRO audiences.com

you don't have to down your drinks why are you both doing this I've just followed delete yeah Michael Ottoale how the hell are you? I'm so good Thank you for having me. So I'm late.

It's fine. Oh my God, it's fine. Truly, it's great. No, you were like six minutes late, but I was the one waiting for you outside. And I've started playing a game called Townsville. And I had to harvest some of my crops, so it was perfect. How does it work, Townsville? It's like Animal Farm.

Do you play any games on your phone? You used to be into Pokemon Go, right? Still into Pokemon Go. Used to be. I fucking wish she used to be. Are you mad? No, what Township. Aren't you the only one still?

It's called Township. Township. and I'm building it's like basically Do you remember when you were You're building a township? You're building a township What's a township then?

I don't know Wait what's the townships like It's like a weird racist old thing Yeah it feels like a racist term For like What are you playing? Okay that's not good

Yeah in South Africa Yeah Oh no I don't think you I don't think you want to be a white lady playing township Segregating towns. That's what it's called.

Are you just fitting as many people as you can into the same small structure? Yes, you get points for having a higher population. You're fucking kidding. I'm not joking. What kind of population? Well, I'm working about a thousand. And ghettoized.

You're keeping people out? You've got like a, you can buy like a, what's that word? The pitch full. They've got, they've got cottages. And there's a couple of duplexes that have unlocked that level now. Are you the landlord of the township?

I own it. I'm the mayor. It's called Hellyville. Hellyville. Yeah, like Hellen, Hellieville. I don't think that you should be playing that. Go back to Pokemon Go. I want to play that. I can't lie.

Yeah, but it would be so controversial have you played it. How exciting. I get to build a utopia. That'd be cool. That'd be nice. You could have built a utopia, but apparently you didn't. Do you remember when we were like early teens and the Sims came out?

Yeah. And it was like everyone just couldn't get off the computer. Yeah. But it's like that for the Sims, but my computer's with me everywhere I go. Like, I cannot control myself. Is this an ad? Are we doing a...

No, we're not. And if we were, it wouldn't be for this. Sweet Jesus, not endorsed by the trusty hogs podcast. Yeah, babe. I was more of a club penguin. What's club penguin? You don't remember club penguin? You were a penguin in a village.

But everyone was a penguin. It wasn't. I guess it was homogenized. Oh, my gosh. I'm just part of the problem, man. Was this like a pingoo thing? No. They kind of were like little.

penguins, where you just would talk to other penguins. Was everyone gay? I don't know, maybe. Probably. Penguins are so gay. And then how do you win? Yeah. Yeah.

You don't win. You just socialize. As a penguin. You know, you finish school and you go see your friends and club penguin. Oh, so your friends with the other penguins you hang out? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, obviously there's occasional sex offenders and stuff in there. Yeah, yeah.

They would kick them out. Oh, my God. They would also kick kids out if they swore and stuff. This was not a thing. We had MSN. What if you were a technical wonderful system? I know, right? Club Penguin.

This was back in the day, you know, it was fun. You keep saying back in the day, aren't you like 10 years younger than me? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How old are you? I'm 29. Oh, okay, fine, six years. I'm just like, I got a baby, baby face. I'm 30.

You're 29, well, it makes it so much more unacceptable that we were talking about heads of fact, you live with your mom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought it was fine when you were 24, Michael Adewale. What's going on? Is it, is okay or not okay? Is it not okay? Is it not okay?

It's okay, but every time we talk about it, I think you're gonna be like, I've done it, I've moved out. I can't, I don't know why. It's something to stop, but you guys were trying to say I got mommy issues. I don't know if I. Were we trying to say it or does we? I think you, your face has said it,

you didn't say it before us. Now you're saying it's very sweet you live with mommy, but you said, I don't have mommy issues. I did, I did bring it up, unprompted. Yeah, you shout of this. I did shout it. You're like, neither mean or my penguin self have mommy issues.

And we were like, what? Let's just check in. You live with mummy. I live. Who's, do you do your laundry? I do my, I'm a self, I'm a big boy. Are you going to say I'm a self-made mommy's boy? Do you cook your own meals?

Cook my own meals. Do you cook for mummy? Do you cook for mummy? I leave something to air fry out for, but. For mummy. Yeah. Nice. Okay.

That's nice. Do you buy your own groceries? I buy my own groceries. Okay. I'm a, I'm, I'm, I'm, she, we're roommates, basically. Okay, okay. Do you pay rent? Yeah.

Okay, good, okay, good, good, good. So basically, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just fine. Don't say you chuck some money on the side. That makes sense like you leave it on the dresser for your mom after you're done. I'm occupying a room, if anything. Yeah.

What age would it's like, okay, you gotta go? No, it's fine. Here's my question. Is it just the two of you? Just two of us. That's so nice. So she probably wants you to stay.

A little bit. I think like she wouldn't mind if I left. Okay. But she doesn't mind that I stay. She's done. She's done. What age is just did you miss up? 18.

19. 18. You guys were just. 19. Is that a white? people think or is that just gosh I think it's a living outside of the city

that you want to live in right like I think it's a coming out as gay in a homophobic environment you grew up here in Ireland and then you left yeah with the you know like the thing with my little stick and my yeah I got all myself packed into a little scarf

you got on the boat and it's like guys bye guys bye you took a boat over yeah I did yeah you actually took a book fuck you guys that's so poetic No, I don't think it's a white people thing I think there's a lot of mommy's boys who are white Okay, yeah that's true

Ed Knight Ed Knight We're just naming, we're just shooting our names Oh my goodness Wow Okay What are the symptoms I think it's comedians

Like if your parents live in London It's male comedians You stay at home Because they live in London That makes sense Yeah But like we neither of us We're in the city

To do the thing that we wanted to do I will say If my parents lived in London I would be living there in a heartbeat. Right. Would you... Not because they'd want me to

or because we have a good time but just because I'd be like the rent... Have you seen how expensive it is to rent to you? So what are the symptoms of a mommy's boy where you were like, oh, oh. Shall I list them? What do you want to know?

No, go ahead. Okay, cool before bedtime. Okay. Messages each time you get on and off a train. Flight messages. Like the northern life? Yeah, no, no, no. Like, overground train is like,

I've arrived in Scotland. I mean, that's just polite. No, it's weird, like the tracking of movement. Find my phone, I find my friends. You find my friends. Any behaviours that cross over with a relationship partner. Go on. Do you have to ask permission to have a girl over?

I wouldn't, I wouldn't do that. It's just, it's a Nigerian thing. You would never have her over. I wouldn't, like, I mean, to bump bellies? No, not to... Bellies, it's not a straight person thing. To bump bellies. You know, like to, I don't know what the...

Uglies, bump ugly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, bump ugly. Yeah. Bump belly buttons Bump bellies That's so cute So you just have to go to the girl's house For me I just wouldn't feel comfortable

On my heart No no that's fair but then where are you going To bump bellies Well you know I tend to try and only date girls who have There I'm black You mean you're looking for a different mummy Like if a girl's I either go to my mummy's house Or my sugar mummy's house

You can't ask them back If a girl lives with her parents I'll judge her like she's me I'm like you gotta get your stuff You gotta get your lap too The parents house is horrendous Yeah but to be out there dating And never be able to take them back

What do you do? Do you like get hotels or do you just go to there? You have to do that You do hotels You'll do their place I've done the hotel thing Yeah I think it's cool

Yeah Like just renting it for a night And then particularly if you both have stuff to do So you're like just there for a couple of hours You feel professional Yeah you do Okay, you feel like you're getting paid. That's a weird feeling.

I'm on business, man. You got a regular hotel that you would, they used to use? No, but I remember using one in Edinburgh one night because I was staying at my friend Anna Grant's house. And it's like, if you're already being hosted, you can't like bring someone back. I can't remember what his situation was that night, but he couldn't for whatever reason. So, yeah, hotel. Was this the guy with the truck? Yeah.

It's so hot. What else was the truck? I just look really good. This is a hot thing to have as a man, isn't it? A pickup truck, yeah. So if I had a truck, but I lived at my mom's out without. It would be better. It wouldn't fully.

Because now the truck is an option. We can. Oh, don't try to make it girl. Fuck you in your truck. You were in the truck. You were already ruined the truck. What's the back for? That back of the truck.

For taking heavy things around. What are you talking about? That's another way. You're the worst. Oh my God. Oh, my God. No truck. No truck.

I'm learning. I'm learning. Yeah. Okay. But that's important. I think I should drive a truck at some point. You can't drive at all. No, but can you drive?

I can drive. Do you want to... Okay, now, that's a good. That's helping. I don't. I don't have a car. Right. I got a license.

Does Mommy have a car? She don't have a car. Okay, that's fine. Well, she doesn't drive me around. She's not driving you around. No, I would hope that you were... I was actually hoping you're going to say you drive her around, but no. No, nobody.

Nobody's driving. It's a real burden. You learned how to drive late as well. Yeah, I did. I did. How long did it take you? 34. It took me almost two years, but I got my license.

I have a car and now drive around. Now drive her in. You feel confident? I don't feel confident. No, I don't feel confident. But I do it. There we go. But I definitely do it.

That's like. Do I do it well? No, but do I do it. I think you do it very well. I'm learning to do things that make me more uncomfortable. Apart from moving out. Oh, let's hear. Go on.

I don't have to swim. Are you? Yeah, I'm not having to swim. Oh my God, who's teaching you? Like a destructor. Yeah, but what's their name? I don't know. It's like a different one every week.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, just ask them. Wait, so where do you go? I got a local leisure center. Great. I'm in the deep end now. They do adults classes? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's me and like five older ladies. Oh, love. Sometimes we go for coffee after. You know what I mean? It's nice. Oh my God. Just start with that on your date story. Yeah, yeah.

I got five mummies now. I'm screaming. This is too cute. I got mummies on mummies, man. On stack on stacks. You've got a swim group club. I got a swim group club. You've got a pool of parties in the pool.

Wait a second. So when did you start this? About a month and a half ago. Good for you. I think that's wicked. I think it's so cool to learn your new skill as an adult. And I also think it's really brave to do something that makes you uncomfortable. It does because you can drown.

Yeah, exactly. So it's more uncomfortable with stuff. Yeah. But they got the... They'll surely come and get you. They got the thing. Yeah, they're not going to leave you there. Like the boy?

The boy, yeah. Booby boy. When you say the boy, you mean the life instructor. I didn't mean the lifeguard. Hey there, boy, no. I meant like, you meant a buoy as in like, is that float in the water?

But I think you mean a rubber ring. Like a life saving one. I don't trust the board. He's on the other side of the pool and he don't look like he can. He looks like a teenager. He looks very skinny. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I would drown him. We would drown together. Yeah, you got to learn to swim fast. That'd be the dagnum recorder. But wait, who's my question? What made you want to learn to swim? Um, it's a good question. I'm going to some pool parties this,

this summer and it's very hard to hit on girls in london no no no just like i'm going uh i'm going on holiday and it's just like that is the cutest answer i've ever heard i'm going to some pool parties you know i want to i want to swim with life without without assistance yeah i think that's beautiful because they got the the the plink that you know the flamingos yeah yeah yeah yeah i you don't want to be flamingo dependent yeah you don't because that's for fun that's not for like Survival. Wait, so you're going on holiday. Where else are you seeing a pool, go to a pool party?

Just, it's just like one long. Are you going with a gang? A little, like we're going to Jamaica. Oh, my God. Nice. And they want to be, and they're in a group chat, talk about, oh, jet skis and I'm, oh, you know. That's stressful.

I want to learn the basics. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You've done so well. It's so good. And better than you were six weeks ago. Oh, my gosh. So much better.

Nice. It's, a lot of it is psychological. Yeah. And a lot of it is bad form. Yeah, that's fine, but I do think the fear of just like, oh God, I won't be able to. Once you get even to a place where you can paddle and you're like, I can keep my head above.

You mean like, tread to all over. Yeah, I can't do that. You will be able to. But I think that makes you feel like, oh God, even if I fall in and I'm not expecting to, I can be still. Because it's so much, it's so much bigger. Yeah.

And there's so many things that can just come and get you. Right. Waves, shots. But also easier to float in the sea, isn't it? Some seas. Just holds you. Jellyfishes? Jellyfish is a bad.

Are there a lot of jellyfish in Jamaica? I have no idea. I've not even checked. We should Google that. Andrew, how many jellyfish are in Jamaica? How many? How many?

Exactly. Exactly. Down to the number. This is so cool. It'd be nice, right. But then, like, maybe I'll just, like, I could just sit. You can be by the cool, cool. We don't have to be in the pool.

No, you're right. You could definitely just, like, lounge by it. But I think you pick up on the guy who's just like, you're like, wow, he's been leaning for a long time. Yeah, yeah. Can I ask a question? Do you get a certificate at the end? I would hope so.

I hope so. That's why you swim. One of your mommies will make you on if you down. I did kids swimming lessons and you get like a badge every time you did like a certain amount. Oh, you learn when you were a kid. Okay, you're bragging. I did. You know this.

I'm middle class. I'm northeast Hampshire. We all learn how to swim, Michael. We had swimming lessons when I was a kid. But when they used to come and get us to take us to the pool, I would hide. Oh, no. I was hide in a bush Were you like I'm not going

If there are five mummies there I'm not going That's what I need I needed that support system And then One time there was a famous football Who came to the school And then I missed it

Which one? His name's Paul Kuncheski As if we've known Catherine Yeah yeah I might know Paul Kunchesky Do we know

Anybody in this room I don't know I'm not asking But I might have known He was a West End player Right I went to go And then I hid in a bush again

Because he was He was coming Oh because you're scared were you just scared of new things i think so i think that was it but now you know you you learn if you don't learn then you're going to learn now yeah that's true that's all you die you drown yeah and i i will say i wish i learned to drive when i was younger it's too late 34 ultimately but that's very it's never too late no i mean i did it but i wasn't comfortable no it wasn't comfortable what are the other things you're doing that i knew oh my gosh i think that's it's it for now we don't have to do more

no no you just said you're doing new things oh yeah i'm in one okay that's enough what about the group want to share, is anyone else starting anything new? I don't know if I'm doing anything new. I mean, I'm seeing a nutritionist. Does that count? Yeah, I think so. You're challenging yourself. Yeah. I think if I wanted to start something new, I'd take it too far and be like, I'm going to become the best at this. I always thought I could be a trampolina. A trampoline? Like a professional. Yeah. Is that a job?

Yeah, for sure. How did they just bounce? Yeah, but like at the Olympics, I think you can jump at the Olympics. Did it? Tampolining just became an Olympic sport. Did it? I'm pretty sure it. Brilliant. I'll probably go for that, though. Can we still get that jellyfish news as well? Yeah.

Yes, when are you going? Because it's, it's jellyfish breeding season, May till September. I'm going in September. Oh, you might just catch the end of it. I'm going to cancel it. It's fine. Wait, jellyfish breeding season. I feel like it's better to skip that.

It's better that you're just catching the tail end. I think they'll be done. Oh, yeah, they'll still be. They'll probably still be fucking when you get there. Yeah. I think if they're fucking, they're not stinging. No, they're busy. Surely.

But they're giving birth. Breeding is different to birth. Did they lay eggs or give birth? They've got to teach their kids out to steam. That's like, round of the bike. Yeah, how does a jellyfish have baby jellyfish? How do they breathe? Why can they just lie on top of each other and it's just sort of like...

You really put Andrew to work, please. Yeah, there's four different tabs here. Trampolining is now in the Olympics. There are two trampolining jobs for on offer on indeed. Great. And what are the jobs, please? There's a vacant trampolining job. Trapolining coach at Acorn Gym Club.

Brilliant. And trampoline park assistant at GLLL. Oh, was that those? like big trampolining rooms yeah yeah wonderful at that do you ever go to flip out yeah oh my goodness oh my gosh love a flip out morning it's very nice you go in the mornings yeah because the kids aren't there the kids aren't there it's amazing the only kids who are free during the week on a wednesday are toddlers and I want to do them bounce that's hilarious I love them they're so sweet but no I do go two for one with adele sometimes that's amazing and then um jellyfish

do the traditional fish egg and sperm just sort of mushed into a general space and then they fertilise. What do you mean merged into a general? Well like fish like they release their eggs into the water and then another fish

will release sperm into the same area and just hope. Oh it's like walking into No one you spray perfume and you walk into it Yeah exactly Yeah that's nice

That's nice And then do they wait around for the hatching Or do they just go like Best of luck? I don't know Maybe see you around the ocean Are jellyfish

attentive parents I love to know Because they clownfish shark, I'm beginning of finding Nemo. Hello? Hello. Andrew? What was that? Finding Nemo? Yeah. Clownfish are good parents. No, I mean, all I can

find is apparently there's this type of human parent called jellyfish parent, which is, as opposed to a tiger parent. A jellyfish parent is a permissive parent. They have few rules or expectations, and often overindulge their children. Flea. So we don't know about jellyfish, but we got the read on the... What's a hell of a hell of? A constantly overhead, constantly watching, constantly managing, constantly surveilling, a high surveillance parent.

Because that's what helicopters do. Yeah. How do pandas breed? They have sex, they have sex, they have sex. They're just fucking and then bad. Well, they don't have sex famously, but we wish they would have more sex. Are there any animals that give birth, like, people, you know, they're just laying on their back and just shoot it out? Bears, I think.

I think they pretty much all give birth on their fores. And I think people used to historically, but it's been like... We used to give, well, not... Well, we still do. It's like actually the... male doctors, the sort of patriarchal treatment. Men. Well, no, no, no.

It's that men were doctors before women were doctors because they were allowed to be doctors. And so obviously you had midwives for years and years and years, but predominantly women did give birth on all fours. And then they flipped them on their backs, why? Because it makes it easier to see. Not because it's better for the woman giving birth. Shut the fuck up! Yeah, and so now there's been a...

Is there a movement to go back to all fours? Yeah. Oh my goodness. not seen it. I mean, I don't know what I'd be looking for to see it, but yeah. Yeah, and I don't think you should be in there. Just check what we're up to, ladies. What's the new vibe? What are we all up to this week? How is this? Are we doing this now? Yeah, yeah. I'm just saying it hasn't reached my algorithm, which is good. It's not like, I didn't get that from an algorithm. I've seen, oh, I've seen. I'm like, I presume that's a 35 year old woman algorithm. No,

it's an algorithm. I've got a really good question. Go on. If you could be present at the birth of anything what would you which which what would you be present at animal human anything or like an invention that's what now that is a good creative comedy mind thinking outside the box yeah it's different oh you meant like just as to watch some or would you like to be there at the birth of electricity oh yeah yeah that's what i was thinking i think that'd be so boring you mean like watching obama be born is that what you meant no but you could pick a baglet or lamb but oh okay I thought you've got a famous human. Dragon.

Why not? Yeah. That's an egg catching. That's not real as well. Well, let's include egg hatch. Well, we don't know. I think we do know. Surely the first chicken.

The first chicken. Oh, that's a sharp probably mine. That is very nice. It's very nice. It's very nice. Maybe like a teradactal. Oh, yeah. Really?

Yes. I think that'd be a lot of squawking. Yeah, probably. I mean, good to see it. I'd film it. I wouldn't. one one that comes out too wet. Then you're not going to want cows or horses.

They're very damp on, they bless them. Oh, what's a dry berth. That's what I'm trying to think. Something sandy. Like a camel? No, camels come out in a big wet sack as well. I've seen that on TV. Yeah, Secret Life of the Zoo, Channel 4, 4A day.

Maybe puppies. Puppies are nice. But they always, one always comes out just so tiny and not well. Cockroach. I've always, how do they? How are they made? Does it look like a larvae? Oh, that's a good question.

How's a cockroach come about? I hate us. It is a larvae, yeah. Oh, grim. That's it. I know. I know. Horrible.

Michael, are you doing Edinburgh Fringe? I am doing Edinburgh Fringe. Eels. Being of the birth of ideas. Are we going to segue from Cockroach? Yes, yes, we are. Wait, so you're doing the Edinburgh Fringe, what is your show called? I'm doing Edinburgh Fringe.

It's called of Mike and Men. That's nice. Such a good. Nice. And where are you on? I'm in the hive, in the monkey bow. And like, it's like 2.30-ish. Heaven.

All about a daytime show. We love a daytime show. I'm only going for two weeks. Great. Which weeks? The first two weeks. Oh, I'm there the second two weeks. But I'm prepared for my tour.

Heaven. What's the show about? It's just about, so my tour show for that I'm going on tour like in the UK, which is the Scotland is part of because they go to stay in and stuff. But the tour is. Nobody was always. I can't believe that was needed to be said no one was like is it the UK Scotland which is included

inside of the UK yeah well um it's called that one's called thoughts on shuffle so it's just like it's kind of like this conversation just going from different idea to idea here's my question because you know we do listener problems. Okay. What kind of advice giver are you? Giving you meditate, given you are very peace and love, what kind of advice would you say you give and who comes to you for advice? I can give very good sort of detached advice in terms of someone to come up very emotional. I can kind of help you take a step back. Nice. So look at it from a different angle. I try and diffuse maybe if it's

someone's angry. You know what I mean? Try and try and like you know sometimes maybe depending on the situation, I can try and help them see things from another perspective of the other person. But sometimes it's good to just, you know, if someone's hating, I'll just join on the hate train and be like, you know. Okay, wow. But largely de-escalation. De-escalator. Okay.

And who comes to you for advice most? Me. Have you ever come to me? No. Yeah, she came weeping me like, help me, help me. And you were like, it's really cool that you pencil the same. Yeah, friends, a couple, couple friends. Come to me for advice and stuff like that.

kind of thing do they ask for advice on? Romance, finances. Maybe like if they're... Trouble with their mom. Yeah, trouble with moms. I'm good at that. I'll lock down. Like if they're angry at somebody or they're frustrated or something.

Because I'm quite calm. You're a sounding board. That's what you are. Right. Yeah, I'm like a chamomal tea. Oh, I'm like a human caramel. See. You are very serene.

I try and be... Michael, I'm a hot chocolate. Your hot chocolate? Yeah. That's sexy. Yeah, I know. I think I'm like a double espresso. Yeah.

Would you like to add some more into that? Let's go, let's go, let's go. Okay, I see your problem, and have you thought about the four other things that could go wrong? Please, Andrew, tell us our problem. We'll go with a problem entitled Smelly Boyfriend. Oh. So, this is from C.

Hi, C. Hi, C. This is so exciting. I'm already mortified, because this is the worst case scenario if somebody wrote in to say, like if my girlfriend was writing in some word saying, Smelly Girlfriend. And this must be a last result.

No, I'm just, I'm just, no offense. to the wow let's just take that back apparently he's all then but he's starting fucking fires he's starting wars over here

no I mean like you got a smelly boyfriend like you're email in a podcast it's not like number one and the things that you would let's read this one you invited him here let's read this right

let's read this one he says hello I'm like hello hogs this is the last thing I know that's right my last possible option go on

Hello, trusty hogs. I have a bit of our dilemma. My boyfriend and I have been together three years and my problem is that in summer he sweats a lot and is very smelly because of it. I've gently suggested wearing deodorant, but he doesn't like wearing it as he has pretty sensitive skin and has a reaction to it. He's tried more natural deodents that are specifically for sensitive skin, but he says he doesn't think they really work, which I agree actually. They don't. That wasn't my personal comment. That was a bracket from Stephen. Um, he just prefers not to use them. Uh, my problem is that I find it very off-putting and I find

I'm definitely much less attracted to him when he is smelly. He would never tell me what to do with my body. For example, he'd never tell me to shave my legs or anything like that. So I feel I can't bring it up anymore because who am I to tell him what to do with his own body? Especially when he respects any choices I make when it comes to mine. Help me. What do I do? Is this something I just need to move past? Uh, love the podcast and I sneakily listen at work and often have to duck down behind the desk to laugh thank you see oh thanks see that's so nice that's such a tricky one michael i feel bad for the boyfriend me too i feel bad for everyone involved actually michael thought i'll let you guys go first you guys want to no no please we we actually never

have a man's perspective it's so exciting no but i i i think it is something that he has to you can't stop here you can't stop at this because obviously seems like he's tried a couple remedies and you have to keep searching for the answer. It seems like he's like, well, this is what it is. This is my life now. I'm a smelly boy in the summer. But it's like I don't have to be. How do you tell your partner that?

But it might be a medical. Does this not feel medical? Well, the thing is, I will say this. I am a very sweaty gal, especially because of all the medication I take. And I have to shower a lot in the summer. but also I get I have an allergic reaction to a lot of deodorants so

I used the wrong deodorant last week for a week not realizing I just used one of ellens and I get like my skin dries out completely under my armpits so like it's it's now like agony to touch it or to move it or to put deodorant on but I then just went back immediately to it so like I put lots of Elizabeth Arden 24 hour

cream fixes everything and suitor cream under there and then I just went back to I only use Sanax roll-on. It's so boring. It doesn't smell the way I wanted to smell but it's like one that never causes me a reaction. I had to try loads for them to start causing me a reaction.

I have to keep going. Yeah. Because if she's noticing it, it means other people are noticing. Well, the thing that I think is the pity is that, right? Like, it's like, pity. It's good stuff. It's good stuff.

But you're right. And I think that that has effect greater than you think. Like, it's so nice that she's like, I love him and don't want to tell. want to do but like it people do like I think it affects professional circumstances and people are like people are so me on someone has like an assent like you know like people have got and it's different like hadatosis or like just like body odour like people are just sort of like

even the fact that we're talking about as I'm immediately paranoid I'm like immediately stressing that I smell but it's like no but if it's sensitive skin and the scent is so strong like it might be a case of going to the GP and just sort of booking an appointment because like I know people take Botox in their arms to like stop the sweating. I don't know if that does anything about scent, but like surely medically there's something that needs to be done there. Maybe if he's maybe needs to be a midday shower thing. It's so tricky.

A midday shower guy's nice, but you're not always near the shower. You're not always near the shower. No, that's the thing. And also like once it's on your, like, I mean, you know, we've all like, their next people have got like really like struggle with body odor and it's not like it gets on the clothes. Like it's not a case of just like.

then it ruins all your clothes difficult thing for people I also want to like take a little bit of the guilt I foresee because I do think like sexual attraction is a complex like it's like sensory right and like it's hard to be like I can't eat something that smells bad and I don't I wish I had a better analogy but you know I just mean like you it is a part of it like it makes you it's what makes you want to have sex or not I don't know I wish I had a better analogy there we go but you know I just mean like you it is a part of it like it makes you it's what makes you want to have sex or not It's like, I wonder what their jobs are. Could they work remotely for the summer and sort of chase the winter around the world? And just avoid the summer. I don't think you can be like, I don't think we should ever see the sun again. I think they can see it. I think it's just the case of like, like, you know, people sort of like chase the sun, like chase the summer. You could chase the winter.

But is there a sensitive way someone could tell you that you smell? I mean, if you want to hear from anyone, we'd want to hear from a loved one. one of love 100% and there is there's a way of and I think it's saying literally things you said

like I love you so much and I know you'd never see anything in my body but like I'd really love it if we could like I'm here to support you but like find something that can help to make the summer

just more comfortable for both of us what are the options because you've got deodorants you've got rolling you got sprays is there anything else in that industry cover yourself in like perfume

but I feel like it's like a masking scent but if it's like coming from you yeah God, it's so hard. I would just say that. You just keep on that journey of finding, probably not all of them. And like you said, if not, if not, then maybe...

But it sounds medical, to me. And to me, I don't know, there's a point in which I have wanted to give up with deodorant, but I'm like, I cannot smell bad. I'm super, I wonder why he is... I wonder, does he know how bad it is? But also, men, it's like... I think there's more permission with men, like a little.

but a stank is okay on a man depends on the size I think there's like so much like fat phobia around smelling the idea like a fat person smells if he's a bigger boy then that's like a stereotype as well yeah

I just think it's a really hard conversation to have without shame but if you go in with love and support it comes and go oh my god you should say that see you know once we move past the shame we can get back to different emotion

okay but it's quite a a strong feeling it is a strong thing you have to really fight for it I would look into those injections though that people have what's this I don't know the anti-swear injection I don't know that Botox is the first place to start when someone's saying like they don't want to be bothered with deodorant I don't think it's the first thing to do I don't think you just go to needles I think you go to like what about a different deodorant yeah different deodorant for a very sensitive skin and then beyond son what's that one what's that deodorant it's like aluminium free and people love it

and it's like what the other do you wear I'm just sure sure sure sure sure sure sure I had a old I still got an old lynx Africa I use that

do you that stuff makes me so fucking wet I it makes me it's so fucking sexy you just came in a halfway I was in I was in it's like

it's like absolutely frothing of the bit like a thirsty horse when I, um, smell that. I cannot believe how much it still gets me just like, oh, my, pulsing. It's insane. You know, like thirsty horse, horses when they're like chomping at the bit, like frothing. Does this make you want to wear it more or less?

Yeah, yeah, stop going up. You put it on, I'm telling you now, there'll be 20 women like me barking behind you. Oh! Oh! I'm, home, I'm, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, why? I don't know why? It's like, I think some of the fit boys at school used to wear it. And I'm just like, okay, we should unpack that, or maybe not.

We don't have time, though. We don't have time. Wow. Have you had a nice time? I had an amazing time. I've never seen anyone meditate during our podcast, but I feel like you did at certain point. I'm going to do a double session after. Because you had such a nice time when you want to.

to think about it so they stay in your memory bank. Lock it in there. Lock it in it in. Nice, put it in there. Oh my God, thank you for having me. It's been... You're my best friend. What? Yeah, you too.

No. You're like, you just really threw it on me. I wasn't really. I love you. I love you too. Oh. That's so nice. We love you too.

Thank you for having me. I really feel like we've, um, we've all been pal since the very start of comedy. Oh my God. We did, um, 2016, BBC New Comedy. of the awards That's right to go

babies Real tiny babies Yeah I know Isn't that wild No we didn't win No we didn't win But we got to the final

We got to the finals That'll do That'll do Who A guy Oh my god Oh my god Jeffro

Geoffro Bradley I am not Yes yeah A man won An immediately Quick comedy He's back He's back

He's come back He's back He's back 10 years later That's wild Oh my god Love to But we So we were in it

And Lauren Paterson And Cindyuvie and Jethro and George Lewis Yeah And everyone I'm not Honestly

And then he won An immediately quick commentate Everyone else was like What That's such a cool move Like I'm the best But I don't need that Yeah I don't need it

Isn't he work at the post office Question work? I think so Before or off Both? Yeah Both maybe Maybe

Okay so tell us please Listeners can find you where Oh you find me Mainly on my Instagram My Galae Comedy Come see me on tour fabulous shuffle or if you're in

Edinburgh, Link in my bio amazing follow the smell of Lynx Africa around the city of Edinburgh has he tried Links Africa is that not maybe that feels like that would be really bad for your skin that feels like it's so flammable it's only good for you

yeah that's surely not right and um oh my god didn't they do like a shower gel as well like a shower gel that was like the that was the Christmas package and it was in all that of like pores and stuff and you'd be sitting next to them in geography like oh my god what do girls use real quick uh lacrosse toucher pink charlie red for christmas time and then impulse body sprays

spice girls if you were lucky uh all year round and then by the time we were like year 11 i'd say we moved from to brittly spares fantasy and then vera wang princess if you were like going up a level and um some of the cooler girls had like a dior and it's like what are you doing what we're doing none of us like that. Where's the lie. You fucking nail that answer. That's incredible. It really was.

And you, that's amazing. You still have it. That's incredible. Um, so people come seeing at you and Edinburgh. Do you have a podcast? No,

no, no, no, no podcast. I'm a podcast. Really? You're a comedian who's podcastless. No, I used to have the beat.

We used to. We used to. You take philosophers. Yeah. Well, people can still listen. Yeah, they've got the old ones.

Okay, great. Okay, great. Well, go see Michael on tour. He's a phenomenal stand of comic. He smells delicious. not to bragsy sorry he smells very nice and he's probably i'm going to put it out there the best dressed male comic oh i would just say top five i wouldn't know it's i'll say the funniest man in the world i'm okay do you think top five we have to wrap this up on i'm being modest i'm pretty

yeah you're well dressed i'm up there yeah yeah yeah catherine moscow wife okay Please admit Michael's face You have to have Just that the mere I'm on my period as well Please end this Oh my

Michael Otto Wally Every woman He leaves the woman Needing a wife Put it on the poster You must You must Thank you so, so much to all of our amazing producers

that literally keep us closed, bed and this podcast coming at ja. So please give it a massive, massive round of applause for the incredible execs. It's Simon Moores, it's Guy Goodman, it's Annie Tonner, it's Stephanie Katzaccia, it's Oliver Jago, it's Anthony Conway, it's Neil Redmond, it's Madeline Quinn, It's Grace O'Wite. Wiley. I can't do that one. It's Grace O'Reilly and J.S. Over to Bohart. Thank you, two to our producers, to Richard Bicknell, to Elle, to Richard Ball, to Sadie Cajee, Casimir, Rachel Page, Helen A., Abby Wryte, Luke Bright, Kate, Becky Fox, Tim and Dom, Riafink, Riaff, Tharley, Caudelaidea, Amy O'Reardin, Amy O'Reardin, Tristan, Treson, Smith Harding. Ooh, a new person, hello. Tamson, Smith Harding?

Tamson Smith Harding. Claire Owen Jones, Harold Van Dyke, David Walker, Jess and Nick, Rachel Arsair and Molly, Tina Lindsay, Lee Overend, Hannah J, Dean Michael, Jam, Rainbird, Nathan Smith, Liz, Fort, Clow, Aussie Steph, Anthony, Anthony,

Sophie Chivers, Kerry Sooth and Matt Sims.