Trusty Hogs - Ep143. Boules, Biscoff & Bristol

Episode Date: July 18, 2024

A very fun solo episode this week as we react to the Euros, big up Biscoff, reminisce about Facebook relationship statuses and solve a listener's gay clubbing conundrum...TOUR TICKETS: www.trustyhogs.com/tourThank you so much for listening!Support us at www.patreon.com/TrustyHogs for exclusive bonus content, merch, and more!Trust us with your own problems and questions... [e-mail] give us a follow @TrustyHogs on all socialsBe sure to subscribe and rate us (unless you don’t like these little piggies - 5 Stars only!)All links: https://audioalways.lnk.to/trustyhogsSNThank you to our Patreon supporters...EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Guy Goodman / Simon Moores / Annie Tonner / Stefanie Catracchia / Oliver Jago / Anthony Conway / Neil Redmond / Madeline Quinne / Grace O'ReillyPRODUCERS: Elle / Richard Bald / Harald van Dijk / Tim & Dom / David Walker / Rachel R / Sadie Cashmore / Claire Owen-Jones / Jess & Nick / Sarah & Molly / Raia Fink / Cordelia / Rachel Page / Helen A / Tina Linsey / Graham Marsh / Amy O'Riordan / Abbie Worf / Matt Sims / Luke Bright / Leah / Kate Spencer / Tristin / Liz Fort / Taz / Anthony / Klo / Becky Fox / Dean Michael / Sophie Chivers / Carey Seuthe / Charley A / KC / Jam Rainbird / Nathan Smith / Amanda McCall / Tamsyne Smith-Harding / Hannah JWith Helen Bauer (Daddy Look at Me, Live at the Apollo) & Catherine Bohart (Roast Battle, Mock the Week, 8 Out of 10 Cats)FOLLOW HELEN, CATHERINE & ANDREW...@HelenBaBauer@CatherineBohart@StandUpAndrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

At Arizona State University, we're bringing world-class education from our globally acclaimed faculty to you. Earn your degree from the nation's most innovative university online. That's a degree better. Learn more at ASUonline.ASU.org. Hello, Hogs. I'll be playing my show, my tour show, in the biggest room I've ever done, played the Bloomsbury Theatre in London on the 10th of October. It's a Thursday, so who needs a Friday to go well at work? would you come please it's a big old room i have a lot of tickets to sell on it absolutely love to see you there so it's thursday the 10th of october my show is called again with feelings it's in london's bloomsbury theatre and it's selling fast but it could sell faster welcome to episode a hundred and

andrew hold up your fingers my god hold up your fingers episode 144 43 143 of trusty hogs is it only 143 i could have sworn it was 144 But the fingers never lie, the fingers never lie. I know this, I know. It's because we're so bad at the moment that we're usually like two episodes ahead in real life and then releasing them. But at the moment, you are getting it hot off the press. You really are. It's not bad.

It's just that we are busy, blessed and busy. But it does. Booked and blessed. Oh God, yeah. I don't know any of the phrases. Is that what the youth are saying? Thank you so much. Bucked and blessed.

But, I mean, I just found out about Chaparone, who by the way, very good. Very good. Now that's a talent. Very good. Hot to go. Hot to go. But in this case, hot off the press. And so yes, you are getting very current episodes.

By the way, welcome. This is Trustee Hogs. I'm Catherine Bohort. She's Helen Bauer. With up. This is the podcast about our frankly perfect lives. And where we answer your listener problems, which are awful, just awful. You're having a terrible time.

Makes me feel better about my life. Oh, no. We're disasters. The trusty hogs Yeah, you're gonna give them your problems And they will solve them Or maybe they won't And that's your problem

They'll have guests And Andrew White on the tech Oh, it's Helen and Catherine And the trusty hogs Trust the trusty hogs Or maybe not And look today, it's just the two of us.

A gorgeous serene day. Ellen? That's like the eighth time you've called me your girlfriend. Do you know what I was going to say? I was going to say, Helen, you're a vision today in orange, and obviously I got turned on and said Ellen. Helen, you are a vision today.

A tangerine vision. If you're not watching on YouTube, check it out. She's like a gorgeous little satsuma, a sweet little tangerine. And Catherine looks like... I look gay today. Just, no, just like...

I look gay today. What's that thing? Is it like on the internet moment where it's like, jeans and a cute black? tup. Oh yeah. Jeans in a cute black top. You look like you've got one of those like classic outfits.

I can't wait to see whatever that video is in six months. But you'd be like jeans and a cute black top and then I'd be like orange. Orange orange dress. Crocs and an orange dress. Crocs and an orange dress. There you go. Thank God we have a Gen Z in the room. Have you not seen this?

It's like huge. No, I have. I saw Amy Poehler do it. That's the only one I've seen. Yeah, to be fair. With, um, what's his name? Seth Meyer. just walking around on the background.

Huh? He's just like in every shot walking in the background just looking down the lens. That's insane. What a cool friendship group. My friends are fucking pathetic. Like I hang out with like

Current company included. Yeah. No, we got that. Yeah. Like just an absolute sacer rats. Wow. Sacker rats. Sacker rats.

You piece of shit. Just this sack. Well, you're a king rat, baby girl. So get over it. Is the king rat? physically bigger. Yeah. Like a Queen Bee

sort of like bigger. Okay. M, if you can't hear her on the mic, do you put that over please, Andrew? Thank you so much. That's very good information. I just said a king rat is when lots of regular-sized rats

get tied together by their tails. I thought that was a rat cane. Is that a rat king? I think, but yeah, you've heard someone say rat king there, I think. And I've misheard of it. Can I just say both of these are making me feel like I need to shower?

It happens in London and the drains, doesn't it? They're like running around and their tails get, Like, yeah. This is why femms can't date fems, no matter what Amy Spaulding says. Really?

Yeah, because your hair would get knotted into each other and you'd be a king lesbian. My algorithm's now queer. Hey, girl, hey! And there's a lot of videos of femns being like the struggle of being a femme

going out with other femme is we don't know how to pose for a photo together. Yes, oh my God. Is that a genuine thing? That is a real thing. And also I have been in Fem for Fem and the amount of hoovering you have to do for all the hair.

You could build a third girlfriend. terrific um we have got to talk ew hoo that's mingin sorry what just like a discarded hair girlfriend yeah imagine trying to fuck that like the apps it'd be coarse it'd be coarse it would be coarse it would but if you're with someone sexually i'd always rather soft than course really no one's ever gone out and bought a coarse dildo for banter yeah sure but i think i'd rather coarse as a vibe like I like a slightly hairy gal. Like a stubble on the cheeks. Yeah, and like a hairy leg.

I do like a hairy guy, but more like to hold on to. Yeah, I know you're saying. I don't want like a hairy penis. I don't want a rash. No, a hairy penis would be so weird. Do they ever get hair down the shaft? No, I feel like the hair does not go on the, I mean, it's on the balls, but not like fully. Like no one's ever had like.

The balls aren't going in you though. Are they? Catherine, what are you doing? No. Teabagging. yeah but they're not going in you tea banking is on your face wait how big should the vagina be

I feel like we always come out of it oh my goodness well we discover I've got this from a perfect moment we have for a gift that was sent to us by a lovely listener called Quinn Rhodes

called who Quinn Rhodes Quinn says hello trust youog's team I discovered your podcast researching finished Kumar clips on YouTube when I came across

your 22 Edinburgh Fringe live show I've been hooked ever since I've joined your Patreon for all the bonus content and secrets I enjoy the podcast a lot however after the conversation in episode 139

about where the urethra is inside the vagina and Kellan's claim that it is inside the vagina I wanted to send you a copy of V an empowering celebration of the vulva and vagina by Florence Schuster

Schechter sorry there you go Florence is the founder and former director of the Vagina Museum, the world's first bricks and mortar museum dedicated to vaginas, vulva's and the Ginea anatomy, now located in Bethel Green. It's signed.

Yes, I saw that when I opened it. That's correct. That's cool. The book has some beautiful and very helpful diagrams of the vulva. Urethral opening included on pages 12 to 13 and the internal anatomy on pages 18 to 19. I'm obsessed with giving a specific reading. And they've also recommended the bookshop

where they bought it, which is I bought it at The Lighthouse Books, a queer feminist, radical, independent bookshop in Edinburgh. I love the lighthouse. But, oh, don't tell anybody about it because it's where I go to cry in the fringe. Oh, that's a good, that's a good spot. Don't tell anybody.

But it's a queer haven. It's stunning. I have to check it out. Oh, my God. Andrews your neighbor been? No, I have to go this year. Absolutely exquisite. And the staff are so nice.

I love it there. Gorgeous. So what's it saying? This can't be right. What's it saying? Do you know that we've got greater vestibular glands? Where's the urethra? Inside the vagina?

Let me see, let me see. There. Hang on, hang on. I'm not saying it's not a different hole, but the hole lives just inside of the vagina. No, my darling. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Then there's something wrong with Helen.

No. Okay. No, baby, girl, this is, your vagina's in there. Yeah, I know. I've put a lot of things in it, a hairbrush when I was 12. Which lives way up the road. Up the road, but within the labia, manora majora. Yes, but that's not the vagina.

That's the vulva. Yeah, that's the vulva. Okay, so the urethos in the vulva, but not in the vagina. Do you understand? So I think anything past the lips is vagina. Oh, you can think it, but is it true? My body, my choice. Okay.

Well, very nice. I piss from my vagina. We've learned nothing. That's what is happening here. I love that there's an arrow to the anus. Cards on the table, the anus isn't part of the vulva. But also we've had this discussion before about the distance. The anus is where poo comes out of.

I love that as a description. That's so fun. And things go in. Let's list them. No. Thank you so much, Quinn, for this wonderful book. Helen, do you want to take that home to have a little bit of a reading? Can I actually have it fast?

I think you should. I would genuinely love this. Oh no, wait, sorry. First, I think if you have it at all, you should have it because I don't, if you have that in bed and you're reading about vaginas and you're newly queer. Is that what? You don't have to give it back to me as all I'm saying. I don't really want sticky pages. Sticky pages. Oh, yeah.

I think I'm genuinely going to absolutely love this. Yeah, I think you are too. This is great. Oh, welcome to queeredom. No way. Chapter 4. Oh, my God. It's written for you.

We've just talked about sex and pleasure All the different ways to be queer Helen! Oh my god We can go through it all Oh my god It's so exciting So do you want to read that at home

And then come back and tell us what you learned Yes That's so exciting Oh my God I love this Straight A woman who is only attracted to men Not reading now We're just going to pop that down on the table

Oh my god there's even a guide of how to come out It's too late for you I'm going to do a Facebook status Oh my God I thank you to a bit I'm going to do it my Facebook status. I beg you to do a Facebook status. If your relationship status is, it's complicated. And by that I mean, queer. Do you have any idea how much when I was growing up? I wanted, oh my God, they got pictures of so many different vaginas. I'm so sorry. We've got to expand our new mugs. Yes, yes, yes, this. What was I just about to say though? You have no idea how much when you were growing up. I, my dream was to change my Facebook status, relationship status. That's like, and like, obviously I've never done it. But every now. and again as a teenager, I'd put it's complicated.

Me too. When I fancied someone. Yeah. It's complicated. Just in case someone thought that something was going on with me. And I freaking loved it. And then I'm like, you know, I'm writing that script at the moment. And I was like, I'm going to just put that in.

And I know they're going to cut it because I'm like doing another draft at the moment. It's a big deal though. It's such a precious memory of being like, I'm not delete in Facebook until I get the opportunity to do that. Fuck yes. Right? Fuck yes. Also, Facebook is the most unhinged social media. My girlfriend only has Facebook

She doesn't have Instagram She doesn't have TikTok She doesn't have Twitter I wonder if she changed her Facebook status Whoa You're going to listen to a very specific episode Of just the two of us Trying to figure out

Relationship status and sexual identities Oh we actually had another Ellen have you changed your relationship status On Facebook to in a relationship And if not, why not Okay I'm actually text Ellen 35 minutes ago and has read it

and not responded to me so she gets back to you before she does to me it's because we're fucking yeah but I like to think that both of you have like a mind that wanders to me during the fucking

sweet baby Helen I'm in a bounce on a trampoline no top can we talk oh no top okay that is good sorry to delay them once more time but we actually had

another gift based on Helen's vaginal mistake What? Can we still saying vaginal mistake? I'm allowed to whip pee out of wherever I bloody want to. Yeah, and vaginal mistake feels like the men we slept within our early 20s. We don't need to put that down to her not knowing her body fully. Apologies, yes.

Although this was when you said about you put a tampon up even when you think it might be happening. Yes, they're prepared. Lots of people on TikTok got very angry about that. Did they? God, people on TikTok are very angry about everything. They really are. What were they angry about? They said you shouldn't do that generally.

Okay. But I'm no expert. I'm just passing on the message. imagine if I was lecturing here on you. But also why? What does that matter? Apparently it's not something

it's not healthy. I don't know. Yeah, it's probably not healthy. I mean, I don't think it's good to have anything blocking a hole just in general. I always think leave your holes to breathe because you can breathe through your vagina,

can't you? And you're cutting off an airway. Just a little bit. Just a little bit. Because if you can't breathe through it, then what is queen? We're doing two episodes today and like can't be this tired already.

Like I can't, right? I beg you not to make me. You can, you can breathe through your ears as well. I can't wait for the gift we receive based on that misinformation. Yeah, me too. No, you can breathe through every hole. A vaginal snorkel, no doubt. But this was from a wonderful tampon company called NatraCare.

Hi Natura Care. Oh, God, we're so excited about this. Hi, Natura Care. Who offered us some of their beautiful, no chemical, organic cotton products. Thank you, natural care. That's really nice of you. And we shot back and said, we are very lucky to be able to be able to. afford our own period products.

Also, Helen seals them all, so we don't actually have to buy any. Yes. So we'd love to pass on the gift to an organisation that offers them out. And so they have donated a big stock of period products to Flow Happy, which offers free products in libraries and community centres across loads of areas in London, including Hammersmith, Chelsea, Dagenham, Poundslow, Greenwich, Onesworth, Tower Hamlets and Croydon. Because inherently, we do believe everyone should have access to sanitary products, but. only if you're living in the city of London. Yeah. And that is the hill we will die on.

Free blade and Manchester baby girl. Good luck in your chair. Get your bloody grass. But how good is that of them to have done that? That's all good. Buy their products. They're organic and they're toxin free. Tell us again what they're called, Andrew.

And natracare. Natural care. I'm going to buy natural care from now on. Oh, thank you, natural care. We really, really, really appreciate it. That's so cool. So why not pop into a library in Croydon and have one on us? Question one.

remember when we agreed that we were going to hand them out to libraries and I was just like, right, we've got to go around and get them all back. We're getting the addresses. We've done charity. We said we've done it, but we've got to go around every single library in Croydon and grab our period products back. Do you know, I did a gig at the comedy, well, the weekend of the comedy story. You did? And there's

a place there, free tampons in the staff bathroom. Very nice to see it. We love to see it. Good job, well done. Top secret as well. I think if you ask behind the bar they'll give you free tampons, but then you also have to queue up at the bar and be like... I do like that they're just in the toilets in the store. Well, they're certainly in the green room one.

I don't know about the... I don't know if they're in there for the public. I mean, I should check. I always go there to pay. Given, like, women barely went in there, you know, for a long time. It's pretty exciting that. We now have tampons in there. Slay.

Love it. Slay. Slay. Shall we talk about our cute little piggy cups and piggy spoons? How long did it take us to do that? About 20 minutes, yeah. I think that's pretty good for us. Guys, if you're watching on YouTube, you will notice we have the most adorable pig cups and pig spoons.

I actually am obsessed with them we got given them as a gift because we did our first we did our first frim, room, beep, beep, motherfuckers we did our first tour at tour show in Bristol. In Bristol, yeah.

Of this tour. Lester. Right, sorry about that, Lester. Lester, shout out to Lester. I honestly forgot all about you. But Lester, we had a gorgeous time. We did our second Frum, Froom, B, beep,

tour date on this tour and it was a sold out show in Bristol how lucky we were and afterwards they happened to have this like separate room which made me feel like we had some sort of VIP meet and greet which is amazing and all the hogs queued up to meet us and brought us Gifties

how nice I can't believe I'm saying Gifties now and one of them was these pigs that lives inside a cup the pig's on the spoon and it looks over the ledge and it's so cute I would put my spoon pig in but I feel like it will ruin Andrew,

Andrew, sorry, Adam, who is sound mixing right now if I start clinking around a ceramic spoon, but just know it does sit like Catherine's does and Catherine's able to not. It's so cute. It's like a nosy little pig looking over the fence. Like, what's going on in there?

What's going on? It's so cute. I just love pig stuff. But how fun did we have a Bristol? It was such a blast. I had so much fun. We ordered an Itzu. We did order an It too.

We did, and it was delicious. And then the football was on. not the football we lost, the football that they won, the semi-final was on, and a lesbian, I assume, Kelly was watching it in the front row and kept telling me the score. But now, today we're recording this

the Monday morning after the Sunday night when England have lost the final. And I watched... Yeah, I spent about three hours last night after the match just smashing up tapas restaurants. I was out of control. And I'm not even a football person. I was chucking paella pans.

Anyone that looked even slightly Spanish, I absolutely lost it. Sonella had to come pick me up from Little Portugal. I got confused. Absolutely nightmare. Sapa pastel de Nata. It's close enough. Fuck you.

Yeah, I went, blacked out, absolutely white with rage. Couldn't handle it. Yeah, it was mad. No, I'll never touch Sangria again. I do understand. Devil's potion. Oh, it's so.

delicious though yeah real bummer I watched it on the way on the train home from Bolton the Bolton

Comedy Festival I did at 6pm and then I got on the train and I was watching the match no one else in my carriage was watching the match I was there anyone

on your carriage yeah loads of people and no one was watching it so occasionally I'd have the odd reaction and people would just look at me like she's the crazy person and I was like it's your

it's your country motherfathers what's going on no one I was like but do you feel like the only exciting part was when they and trying to like head it into each other

and they were just doing a headers fucking ball. There was a series of eight headers in a row which was very exciting. But no, I found the whole match exciting because I do like football. Yeah, I didn't. I went to the pub to watch it. Because I went, I was playing bowls in the afternoon.

You were what now? Playing bowls, British lawn balls. I think I'm joining, I think I'm going to join a league. There's a league. I think I'm starting one. If anyone's in South London, they're in international league. Could bowls come home?

home. Boles could come home. But wait a second, don't you have to be 75 minimum? A friend, a friend of ours has opened up, a friend of all of ours actually, has opened up a bowls club. No way. With another friend in South, in Peckham. It's called Peckham Bowles Club. I'll give it a shower. Okay, I just need to tell you that you're talking to me about bowls, but at the place that I'm sat, I can see right into your dress. And are you wearing a bra? Yeah. It looks like it's flesh and So I just, you're saying bowls, bowls, bowls, balls, balls. And I'm just seeing boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs, boops, boobes. Pink.

Oh, my God, that's a really fun colour combo. But, oh my God, you're, uh, you look amazing. But also that, that, that button does gape a little from, from the side. No, no, no, don't close it. I just have to admit that I had to admit that that's what I was thinking when you kept saying bowls, balls, balls, balls, balls, balls, so I was going, bobs. They are around the same size. I know.

And it was very confusing and overwhelming and they're amazing. Sorry, back on. A friend of yours under the age of 85 has opened. has opened a Bowles Club for people who are under the age of 85. Yeah. It was crazy. What's it called? Peck and Bowls Club.

No. It's just regular balls. Are they crazy? By the way, we've got international listeners. What is Bowls? Welcome to Helen's Bowls Corner. It is a lawn of British grass where you take four balls each and you throw out. Which are just like round heavy balls, right?

Yes, big round heavy. not totally spherical they are slightly weighted to one side but you could hold them in a fist you can hold them in the palm of your hand not in a fist you couldn't really hold yeah okay on top of a fist no i meant like mental um it's all right we're women we're still figuring it out and but you love sport so you know um and then you throw out the jack which is like a little colourful ball and then you throw your balls to get the closest to it yes and you have best of four did you win nope no no i lost both times but the man who owns the bowls club he played yeah right he played and then I kicked

his away from it because I was like well you can't win and then yeah apparently he won and I met I met a new friend he played with everyone who shows up at the club no just played with us because we had two lanes before the football that we had to like everyone had to like wanted to play but it was just it was a bit of it was chaotic because then we had to get to the pub to watch the football but me and Harry it came to the other little catch-up outside it was lovely yeah I'm so sorry what have I done did you as the past tense of one say one I'm so sorry I don't normally like to do this but what have I done no so did you say apparently he won he won for one yeah yeah sorry I just wanted to

make sure that's why no that's what I meant yeah oh my God okay all right Helen's not receiving feedback today Thank you very much Thank you Andrew I've had a really busy night smashing up tapas restaurant I'm obviously tired I'm obviously not with it

and like but we went to the pub and when we were watching it like all the boys like some of the comedy boys were getting like really excited Sean McLaughlin was swearing on his life

if we won he was walking to Trafalgar Square like immediately he was like I'm ready to go I've got my walking boots on and we were in Nunhead like that's a tricky war That is a woken ass.

We're marching on the square. But if anyone who doesn't know, we lost 2-1 and the nation cried. The nation cried. Is it true that some English fans bring down a pub in Berlin? No. No. Yeah.

English fans. Berlin. Oh, we mustn't do that. You're not good losers. You're not great winners either, but you're not great losers. No, we're not great in general. Hooliganism. I don't, I think I would have heard about it.

that. Yeah, I feel like it, well, the reason I'm asking you if it's true is because my taxi driver said it and my taxi driver said a lot of things on the way here. I don't think you should be listening to your taxi driver. No, he was wild. I've no, there's no news about it. He just made that up. It sounds

like it, yeah. Oh my God, honestly that fits so well with everything he said to me. Was he jamming? No, but he was intense. He was quoting a lot of religious text at me. Oh my God. He was telling me his takes on certain

groups of people. No, no, no, no, no. It was a lot. Oh, my God. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. So, okay, yeah, so you lost the football, but you got to the final, and a lot of countries don't do that.

I thought that was really, it was nice, it was fun, it was, I had a lovely day out with my friends night before that, watched Independence Day, Charmingfell. Had you not seen it? I've seen it a million times. Okay, I was like, excuse me what?

I was like quoting along to it. Our friend Eddie came over because Neil and him wanted to try out a weather spoons gammon eggs and chips for dinner because they were just curious to what it was like

terrible choice they ordered gammon egg and chips came out within three minutes yikes yikes that means the ham and chips were just sitting there

on a hot plate and then they just quickly fried two eggs and went all the best to you and it was like quite a long walk from the kitchen oh my god

two and a half minutes so Neil's been on the toilet for about 48 hours now and no he's fine he can push out anything and then I didn't like that

Eddie came over and I was like, I'm not doing this two hours finding a film to watch and agreeing on it. Like, I'm just going to pick a film and I was like, Independence Day. And when it's too long, it's too long, we loved it. Watched the whole thing. Good. With, can I say this?

Yeah, go on. Like, I could stop you if I wanted to do. Can I say this? You may. I know why he was very passionate about a month ago about the squash aisle. Yeah. But I think I'm getting, because I'm not on tour, so into big shop.

like a big food shop. Oh my God, I love a big shop. Now that I have a car, I fucking love a big shop. The ice cream aisles in the UK have stepped up in a really big way in the year of our Lord 2024. Talk to me. My local Sainsbury's manager, God bless them, whoever they are, they've started taking risks. And I genuinely appreciate it. They've got your carnettos, they've got your calipos, they've got your saleros.

They're not messing about. They've got the staples. And they're in stock. Snickers and benty? Yeah. They're not more on. The basis are there. The classic.

They've gone rogue. We're getting, okay, Biskoff, minis large, like, wrapped in. Whoa. We're getting cornetto softs. What's that? What's that? Soft cornetto.

What do you mean? Softer ice cream. So you know when you do... Like a soft serve? Yes, but in your freezer. At home. What? At home.

Wait, do they have like a copycone lid? I do not, I don't know what was up. Oh my God, okay. So we've had the strata, strachia, strachia, nobody help her. Strachia teller, which the Neil said is Italian for ham. Stratiater. Yeah. And caramel.

Charming, even though I'm not massive on caramel. Is that one ice cream? Yeah. But it comes in packs of four. What brand is it? Cornette walls. These are all cornetos. These are all different.

cornettos it's an absolute we are living in such a wonderful time how are those ones charming and are the biscoff cornettos also no the biscoff they're just making their own biscoff are just like screw it and what do you think a couple of years ago that was just a biscuit the things they've done I know I'm the only person I think in the country who doesn't like biscoff I'm just it's just not, me. I would never choose it. Me. It's just not for me. Do you know what I'm saying? Hello? Like I said, I'm the only person in the country. I know what you mean because the first time I tasted it, it tasted a bit like World War II. Yes, it feels rationy and I'm like, I'm good. I don't want a spam standard

and I don't want your Biscopheye ice cream. I'm good, thanks. But then, you know, I've never tried. You've got flavors now. I've never tried spam. No, of course, Evans. You were born in the 80s, my darling. I was born in the 90s. My God, do not do that. You're not do that. You're not do that. to me. You were born in the 91. Oh, fuck all. But,

fuck off. I know he's to spam. I was born in the 90s. Get fucked. Get fucked. Of course you haven't. Jesus.

Have you ever tried it? No, when I was born in the 80s, but I was also born in Ireland, so there was no way we were having that. I'm curious. We don't do spam

and we don't do that fake powdered mashed potato you lot do. Smash. Oh, get to fuck. Smash. That is a crime

against humanity. Do you remember pot mash as well when pot noodles We're like having such a pot noodle We're having such a boom No, that's disgusting Let's do pot mash

And my cousin Sophie used to have it With tomato ketchup Just pot mash and tomato ketchup That is disgusting And criminal Spam is like super popular In like the Philippines and Korea And they have it with like

Bulldeck noodles which I'm still addicted to And I'm like I know everyone says it's delicious I might buy a can't like You know when you're like You can't get your head around something It's the same thing I have with Brie What?

Brie? I just... It's delicious. It's so mild and creamy and delicious. I feel like the cow. For some reason, I think the cow was in the sun too long and then milked and that's how you get Brie.

Because when I was younger, I didn't quite understand the churning process. So I used to think it was like the age of the cow. No. And if it'd like settled and then you'd like, that's like milk, yogurt, cottage cheese and depends on like... Oh my God, that's like it's some sort of tap. Right, right, exactly.

But that's not how it works. I know. that now because of churning. So then Brie is delicious. It's still in my head. You're going to want a thin slice of mild brie with strawberry on a cracker just as your starter point. It's divine. It tastes like cheesecake. Put on an oak cake. I don't know if I like cheesecake that much. I can't work like this. Because some days I do, but like I love cream cheese, but with savory. Oh, then put Brie with something savory. It's delicious.

I don't know. I just don't think I'm a cheeseboard person. I think I just want. like melted like mature cheddar what about reclis have you had reclis yeah it's fine but it's very samey like you know when people have fondue and stuff like that it's just like having a pot of the same flavor and the same texture for a whole meal like it doesn't but that's just like ordering a margarita pizza yum but then i get dips okay like but you get stuff to put on the reclette and in the reclette like potatoes and bread and then boiled vegetables okay okay Yeah, fair enough. I just don't know.

All right, fine. Like, have you ever had, like, a reclette where you're like, this is it? This is me. I'm sorted. Yeah, I have actually. Georgie brought me to one in West London that was fucking amazing in a French restaurant. And the wine was delicious and the food was fucking spectacular. But is French food good?

No, but this was amazing. There we go. It's not, it's so, it's like, we get it. You know about butter, but it's like everything's just a bit over. it's just too much it's too much I just I

they got like the sandwiches are great but they're too hard on my jaw and also everyone says like there's no such thing as Irish cuisine

but French food is just meat and two veg it's the exact same as Irish cuisine except with more butter inexplicably and worse butter Francis went to France

that's fun yeah and cut their gum on a baguette that's no to be fair the French bread is amazing

yeah French pastry is amazing but French I'm talking savoury I'm just like pf buff

buff I just don't I think it's because when my mum first I think she got engaged to my dad and he was like

oh you should probably meet my parents and I think yeah probably you should meet my parents at some point don't look under the bed and don't look anywhere

don't look anywhere don't like I think probably she met them once and then probably saw them again at the wedding but the wedding got hold up by an hour because my dad's dad

was in the pub getting absolutely black out drunk. Is the Irish? Absolutely waste of time. No. But similar vibe. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But she went to go meet him and he was like, oh, this will be really funny. This girl, she'll never stay with Michael. I know what I'll do. And he made her a three-course meal of just oil. What? Just to like, just to mess with her. So the starter was just like hot snails that had been microwaves swimming in oil. And then the main was just like a bit of fish swimming in oil.

like oily potatoes just to just to just because he thought it was funny just he was like the original manta and like yeah just like really and then that's in my head now as well what an oily creepy guy what a weird choice as well that's so gross i mean it's better than what you did to my auntie where he showed pictures of himself naked and stuff like in a book yeah god wow you really over the episodes you really get a picture of that man and It's spooky a year. It's not good. It's spooky air.

Would you like, well, first of all, I'm speaking of food and romance, my parents went to Cyprus on their honeymoon, and that's where they tasted their first, get this, I think it's the sweetest story, their first seedless grapes. Isn't that sweet?

That feels so wild. Isn't that so sweet? Oh my God, when they told me that, I was like, I made a heart is breaking. It's so cute. Wait.

So cute. Did they never have? No, not. in Ireland in the 80s, early 80s, no. And by the way, this year is their 40th wedding anniversary. Oh, it's too pure. And it's Ellen and I's second anniversary. Not wedding.

Same thing. But so we are going to celebrate together in the new forest. We're going to a hotel for a weekend together. With your parents? Yeah, because my dad and I will want to go for walks and Ellen and my mom will play cards. That's so pure. I know. I booked it and told them at the weekend and they were so happy.

It was so nice. Oh, my God, that is so cute. Yeah, I've been saving up for it because I wanted to get them something nice, but then I was just like, I think I just like want to hang out with them. Because we live in different countries we never get to hang out. Oh my God, we live such different lives with our parents. But I don't see them very often, right? So, and I was just like, and also, you know, the thing I guess I do for myself,

if I treat myself at all is a nice hotel. Like I don't tend to go away for very long periods of time. anything but occasionally and whereas my parents don't really do that for themselves or haven't since they were like until they got like much older until this year about to say cypress on the new forest no no cypress was their honeymoon 40 years ago that makes more sense because i was trying so hard not to be like what the fuck happening in ireland that in 2024 they still haven't figured out seamless grace they're mental there they're fucking mental but did i say it no it was Allison gave me a chat about it was

1984 and they got went to Cyprus that makes way more fucking sound I was about to say like someone needs to tell the Irish about like that's mental no we do have seeds as grapes now but you can still buy seeded ones and I'm like who's buying those people are weird

people are weird who's buying the dry piff they're so dry I don't want it it's like people who are buying jacket potatoes to make from when you can get those five minute ones for the microwave or the air fryer.

Disagree. Absolutely mental. I absolutely love to make my roast potatoes. From, not a rose potato, a full... No, no, I mean, I like to make my baked potatoes. I make them myself. What, you like to, in the summertime, sit by an oven for three hours? No, I put them, I pierced them and I do them for six minutes on each side in the microwave.

There we go. Then, then I coat them in salt, oil and paprika, paprika. And then I say paprika. I don't know why I said the English way. and then I put them in the oven for half an hour at 220. Stunning, perfect. They finish, they'll make them all crispy.

Whereas I can take a frozen one from McCain. That's disgusting and weird. Put it in the microwave. Five minutes later, it's done. Steal some butter from Saneal. I'll bet the skin isn't all crispy though. And salted. No, I'll have a packet of crisps on the side to get the texture.

Just to balance it. That is some Frankenstein's potato. You know when you were like in green rooms and they've just got like a random selection of Crisps out, so you get crisps that you'd never actually buy. Helen, are you just thinking about crisps because there's boxes of crisps over there? That is part of it, but also because you said potatoes. Yeah, okay, so in the green room, M was tour managing for me, and when we were in the Manchester

Frog and Bucket, they had a lot of crisps that we hadn't seen otherwise. And I had my first quavers, and you had prawn cocktail? Yeah. Skips or walkers? They're so good. That's my go-to. That is my go-to crisp. I'd never had a quaver.

Meh. Yeah. Wow. You're right there. Yeah, okay. Thank you. Tell you what I had. And this is not an advert.

This is a don't do it. McCoy's ridged. Yum. Um, cheese and onion. That flavor stayed on my fingers, mouth, throat, nose for 52 hours. I was on the train going back from Scotland. And it was mental. like and I just watched that episode of you know in I'm Ellen Partridge where he's like has a scotch egg and his body doesn't break it down so his breast sounds like gasoline and to change the subject he's just like I absolutely hummed and that is a public service announcement

wow okay good to know only if you're about to spend I'd say a good two days at least by yourself okay well very good to know hey Helen I just babbed I'm so sorry It came up internally, though. I actually didn't notice, so thank you for telling me. Would you like to solve a listener problem? Yes. Oh my God, is it time already? Well, you're already giving advice, so I figure let's stay in that mode. God, we gab, don't we?

We love to gab. Oh, my God, yes. We love to gab. Hey, all three of us are going to the Edinburgh Fringe this year. Woo-hoo! Catherine Bowhart will be there. Yes, I'll be there at noon in the monkey barrel. You got to go. Her show's amazing.

She is going up with a finished, polished, beautiful, incredible show. You're very kind. Me and Andrew, however. Hey, now. Andrew's going up with a finished show. We'll be there for five days. What's a call? Where is it?

It's called Andrew White. Younger and a third thing. It is at 920 at the Assembly Roxy from the 20th to the 24th. So just the last week. So when everyone is at their lowest ebb, I'll be swooping in with some high energy. Yes, Andrew. Oh, God is good. Perfect.

Angel. And Sweet Helen Barrow will be there. In the middle for the 12th of the 14th of August, I will be doing three random different times at Monkey Barrel 4. One of them is the same day as Trusty Hogs Live, so I guess I'll just see you for the whole day. Do the Bower Double, come on,

why wouldn't you? You've got to do the Bower double. Double Bower! Like double barrel! You can triple us. You can do Catherine, me and Tristan York's Life all on the Monday the 12th. What the hell no? Good fucking luck to you is what I say. I'd say get those tickets booked now. Bye. Do you have a listener problem for us, please?

I do actually, yes. This is from H and L. Hi, H and L. Both she they. No, one she they, L is she they, H is she her. She they, she her. Okay, Slay. And they write saying,

This is coming from two 18-year-old bisexual hogs who love a club, but don't love the nasty men and are a bit sick of the creepy advances and constant eyes on us. Tell me about it. Some of the problems won't relate to our lives at all. No, this one it does. I went through an inferno's face.

Okay. Yeah, yeah. Does Catherine, brackets, or Andrew or M, have any gay bar recommendations in London? Although there is a follow-up email. Just, I'll put an asterisk here. Just listen to today's extras and forgot that Helen is queer.

Thank you. Helen, feel free to give you. as much LGBTQ plus advice as you want. You're fully qualified now. Do you have any gave our recommendations? Yeah. One that you've been to that you love. We want to have fun with minimal men that watch us dance in a scary way.

Oh, when they want to dance? Yeah. Okay. You actually made fun of Elle for being young at your Hackney Earth show, but we still love you. No memory. No memory of that. Apologies.

Well, you're 18 now, which means that they were not, they're probably younger than that then. Come on. You deserve me. You're a fetus on a tour show. Come on, it's going to happen. Thank you for coming to Hackneyath. That was the biggest solo show I've ever done. Very exciting.

Mine's going to be a Bloomsbury Theatre. And it's definitely not sold out yet. So feel free to come along. Elle, if you went to Helen's then, don't come to mine. I'd be offended. Yeah, that'll be mental. That'd be so rude. That'd be mental.

Your favourite gay bars in London. Sorry, Helen. Favorite gay bars in London. That you know from experience as a queer woman. Where can you dance and not. I'm going to say what was it called the one? La Camonera.

Doesn't have a dance floor. It doesn't have a dance floor. That's what I was going to say actually. It's a wine bar. It doesn't have a dance floor. You've also never been there. No, but I know of it. I'm going to say like a house park.

I'm just going to quickly message France. I'll do it. I got it. I got it. I personally think the best place is to dance for Les. or um queer people um in london are lesbian nights i think there's such good much good butch please that you've heard me talk about what else um afrodike um afrodike um her lesbian and queer oh that's something on the app store that's an app yeah okay did you please stop googling they

could google we could just tell them the ultimate guide to lesbian night like bars and hotbed A man's floor, it's a M-O-Z-F, MOZF, it's a night run by the football team goal diggers. Afrodike and there's also, what's the society, the society of appreciation of masculinity, do a fun night as well. And there's, what's the one for femmes? I've got all the pictures of people on this have got their nipples out with crosses over them. I couldn't do that. amazing lesbian's just

gravity's different on them we do have very perky teeth yeah it's just different you're gonna get perkier now they will watch really yeah sleigh um I don't know anywhere but I also feel like I know you don't know

anywhere but also like I feel like I wouldn't even know for someone to go dance without creepy band like it was not even if it wasn't yeah yeah yeah yeah like where do you go there's so many great nights that great queer nights out

London, do you have any more recommendations, Sam? Or Andrew? I've never been clubbing, really. The basement of heaven is always quite like a... The Clunge Dungeon, as we used to call it. I've been there. I've been there. I went to see Alexandra Burke perform.

Plunge Dungeon. Plunge Dungeons. Is that what it is? That's where the lesbians go on that. In that building, they go to the basement. I feel like I've been there and made out with a woman when I was like 19. Okay, you're the long... It took the longest journey to realize that you're attracted to women. But we've talked about us on the podcast before.

Like, I made out with a lot of girls. But I just feel like one day you're going to be like, oh yeah, I had sex with those three women, but I didn't think that counted. I don't think I've ever had... No, I haven't. I would remember that. Okay.

Any more recommendations, M? Big dike energy. Big dike energy? GDE. Yeah, it's really good. Really good. That's east as well, isn't it? I think mostly East London.

They're all in East London. East London. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe start your own one. No, don't start your own one. There's loads. We just gave them loads.

Yeah, but there's always, it's always room for more because if you're not in East London, that's a bit of a nightmare, isn't it? It's like Dolston Superstore. Dolson Superstore, yeah. There's not too many perves there either. It's kind of like everyone's either gay

or sometimes they're both or so high that they're not really looking at anybody. They're just like in their own little world. That's nice, isn't it? Just club safe and drink responsibly. Yeah, agreed. Yeah. Make sure you've got your root,

home and stay in contact with each other. I do agree with all of that. Eat before you go out. Yeah, also true. You're 18. You're not superheroes. Yeah. Well, always keep your taxi money separate from everything else in your body.

I was just going to say is there some way to put that in your, but lesbians aren't there? Queers aren't going to wear bras. And where do you put it as a queer? Up the cunt, probably in a little plastic bag. No, there'll be that second little pocket in your jean or your jean shorts. You know, on the inside of your pocket, the pocket for your pocket's pocket. Attach it to a bag at the end of your carabinas. Yes, gorgeous. You're done. You're done.

Yeah. Wow, it's 18-year-old clubbing. If men are creepy to you, just be grateful. No, Helen. I know that's a no. It's just banter. That's another problem, Andrew. Thank you so much for that.

Hope you've solved it. Happy queer clubbing. Or just clubbing. I don't know. It's so fascinating. What do you be queer and somehow? I looked like a mom who just found out about it. Oh, I'm coming.

Are you going to get gay married? I mean married? I mean, Garrett. Hello? Don't tell you I told my mom I'm queer. Did you? Yeah, but I realized I did it before the podcast. Because we were like, we were just chatting in Italy.

And she was like, anyone on the scene? I was like, no, God, it's like, the men are just so, and she's like, don't get me started. Men are so fucking boring. And I was like, preach, Ann. And just sort of like, God, I think I might just try a woman. And she thought, is that what you're thinking now? And I was like, yeah.

And she's like, okay. And I was like, oh my God, I've already done it. But would she also date a woman potentially? Oh, 100%. Yeah. She's always been way more queer than me because she's like, first time she took mushrooms, she was just in a room full of breasts. Yeah, nice.

So she's always been more that way inclined. Or she needs mothering. Or she needs mother. Oh. Did you see that comment we got on Instagram from someone who was like, Anne Bauer convinced my mom in fleet not to vote conservative? yes that's amazing like someone like commenting being like

because we like mentioned my mom went to the Hastings and it was like just to say Amber were actually convinced my mom or my grandma or whatever that's actually amazing all right Anne come through feminist queer icon changing the political landscape of flees

intense is intense stuff wow that's so cool I'm sorry let's have another can I have a queer problem please oh I don't have a queer problem I have a sexist technicians problem which came hot on the heels of your sexist

technician issue but is not related. It's a separately sexist technician. From Elle. Hi Elle. Hi Elle. Hi. What is that? What do you mean? She forgot to say it at the same time as me. She panicked and then she said it again louder. Oh, I see. That's actually bang on? Yep. Love you. I love you, D.

Elle says, I've been listening since the start and loved every single episode. Oh, thank you. It's got me through some dark times and kept me up during happy times. Love you all. I'm 27 years old and I'm a female theatre technician in a little beach town on the south coast. I've worked in theatre on and off for years

and I've just recently joined full time. Yay. The job includes unloading vans and trucks, lifting, moving heavy things, running around a lot and then some technical knowledge on top. You can't do this job if you're unfit or not very strong and if you start out that way, your body adapts pretty quickly. My issue is the touring

technicians who visit new ones every day who are 90% men. They constantly overlook me to my male colleague, who is eight years my junior. They barely acknowledge me. And you know what? I'm used to it. I'm the stereotype of an angry feminist a lot of the time, but I don't want it to affect my life, so I let it slide. I know what I can do, and I'm old enough to feel like I don't need to prove myself to strangers anymore. The thing I can't condone is the men who comment on my body, the ones who ask if I'm all right to lift something, like I don't do it every day. Um, constantly remind me how heavy something is, and the ones who say, ooh, you're strong for a girl, it's getting very old.

My boss does understand what it's like in this industry for a woman, and is not against me standing up for myself if I feel uncomfortable, which I am incredibly grateful for, but in the moment I can never think of what to say. So I need some professional but assertive lines to respond to sexist comments that will make a man potentially begin to understand where he's gone wrong. I don't like to generalise, but honestly, it's so common that I quite comfortably can in this situation. Thanks in advance

And have a gorgeous day A lot of you from Elle Whoa Fuck it's so annoying It's so tedious It's just monotonous and tedious And but first of all Okay let's think about answers

That give pause But not awkwardness to a situation Too much for LGs By the way I think one of them You've already said in the email Which I think is brilliant I love I do it every day Smile on your face

I do it every day It's such a powerful like I just it's just gorgeous you're like oh I do it every day so there's just like it's like not only do I do this can I do this today can I do this now I'm doing it this is my fucking job you mizogynist but it's like but I always think a smile in your face if you can bring yourself but you don't have to but it's just quite fun I think to be like I do it every day um I think misogynists are quite thick sometimes that depends on like how thick they are because they will not pick up on that yeah I think when people are like that's really heavy

or you're really strong for a girl I think you can be like oh I'm a technician so you have to be strong but it's so boring I'd say flip the tables like if it's one that you recognise it's come back every now and again

just sort of be like are you okay do you need help with that but just like have you lost a bit of weight on your arm you're quite strong for an older man yeah like point like just just show them how mad it is to like question someone's everything like if they if it's only one person

to be like, is there anyone else I could talk to about this? Or do you understand what I'm saying? Like, really, like, just undermine undercut, in, like, an incredibly nasty and bitchy way, ideally. Yeah. But, like, everything should be like, if they need help for the toilet, just sort of be like, do you want me to show you

or you'll be able to find yourself just over there? Can I remind you of your previous advice, which I'd love to this day? Go on. Did you fart? Yeah. It will ruin them. Physically ruin them.

Sorry, did you just fart? Did you just far? That's, wow. Any tips from Andrew and M on this front? I don't know. It's so shitty. It is so annoying when you have to deal with them professionally. Yeah.

I don't know whether it's worth escalating. Because obviously they're a technician part of a wider team. Maybe there's a person. How do you escalate it when it's touring people coming in and out and they've gone the next day? I do think there'll be a touring, like there will be a head office though, right? And I do think there's something in your manager saying, please tell your touring technicians not to comment on the female workers in our workspace like and generally ever and so I do think that A there's that so I don't I think

you're being a little bit grateful which is very sweet but I think a little too grateful to your manager being okay with you standing up for yourself like I don't really I think that's like the lowest of the like the that's the really the the minimum standard you should expect I think there would be something for um your manager encouraging other staff members if they're present with you being like she's also here you know you're not having to stand up for yourself by yourself i also think there's a value in your manager expressing it to their bosses too so i think like you're allowed to expect more and it doesn't have to just be you dealing with it by yourself yeah i think there should be like signs up backstage like questioning the

abilities of our female technicians will not be tolerated like stuff like that um yeah they could put up a sign that's like this is an inclusive workspace questioning the ability of our female staff members will not be tolerated that would be that would be so fucking great also signs is a really nice one signs is really nice

could be behind this also then not on you to have to deal with it and then you could literally be like oh did you not read the sign it will be heaven just be like do you want to send it out no don't say that

also is it a case just sort of like if someone comes in you can just you can tell before someone's going to be misogynistic like you just get a feeling in your spine it's weird but you could just sort of be prepared

to be like right welcome to the theatre I'll be your point of communication for the entire day any questions that are directly to me yeah like and just sort of be like very clear the moment they step in I do I something that

and stop Elle can you please stop offering them cakes and tea is not helping the cause stop wearing a dress it's something that I do when I go into a theatre with a technician that I always say to everyone I see every staff member

I say hello I'm Catherine even though they theoretically know because then they have to tell me their name and they have to communicate with me. If I can stand it with my OCD that day, I will often go over and be like, hi, I'm Catherine and shake the hand of the technician just because it's like, we are equals

and we're doing this. But I often have to say, in the technician's scenario, I often have to say, because they just won't talk to me, they'll talk to the venue manager instead if they're a man. I often have to say, who's teching? And then they'll say, oh, it's me and I'll be like,

wonderful, can I please see pre-show state? And then we go from there. but I just like force the interaction to be towards me which I think you can do but I think science is actually a genius idea and escalating as a genius idea and more backup from your venue if not go full Marianne Bauer

good luck getting a Michelin style without me you can suck it and just walk out getting an Olivier without me boys and just walk out and then yeah live with your dad yeah listen that's an option it's all an option also how charming that you work in a theatre on the South Coast

isn't that beautiful? It should be gorgeous. Delightful. I hope this helps. Will you tell us if you put any of these into practice? We'd love to know. And also let us know if we're ever coming to your theatre. Oh my God. I feel like I've done a couple of theatres. Me too. Oh, okay. Well, we'll know if we see the signs.

Do you ever just hear of these jobs and you're like, yeah, that's really nice? Yeah, gorgeous. Stunning. You know what I was thinking about the other day? Go on. Tornado tracking. As a career. Such a nice job.

Yeah. Fabulous. Living like, because, you know, the houses in the southern states, like with a porch, like a wraparound porch. And my job is to wait for a tornado, and then I go, there's a tornado coming, everyone. Get to safety. Oh, that's good.

And just like watching weather maps. I'd love is, you know those summer jobs where you know when you're in like a water park in Spain and someone's job is to sit? We don't talk about that bloody country today. Okay, in Portugal. Thank you. And someone's job is to sit in a chair at the top of the slide and just say, yeah, go ahead.

While they're sundays all day. sign me up yes please yes go ahead yes go ahead yeah go ahead oh man yeah go ahead you're not tall enough my little angel oh oh you pop no no no no no have you seen at disney just dreamy when the little kids go and like check if they're tall enough they're not tall enough yet the staff members can give them a piece of like I think they call it like fairy dust which is for like a magical future which means when they come back and they are tall enough they can go to the front of the queue that's cute like a little reward for when they grow

oh let's finish on a happy note that's gorgeous that's so cute folks if you're part of the Patreon we'll see you over there for the extra episode and if you're not what the hell are you doing with yourselves in the patron extras today

we're going to be talking about exactly the misogyny happened but we don't want to docks ourselves on the actual main episode about the clubs that we went to oh are we I want to because I had a really intense one this weekend

then I'm very happy too and I also want to talk tum-tums sleigh okay see you over there bye Bye. Thank you so much to our executive producers sat in their lounge as I imagine them to be. Simon Moore's Guy Goodman Annie Tonner, Stephanie Katrachia,

Oliver Jago, Anthony Tonway, Neil Redmond, Madeline Quinn and Grace O'Reilly. Thank you guys so much. It's amazing that so many of you have been here for so long. You've watched us grow, learn to walk, learn to talk, learn to use the toilet. Thank you so much to our producers. It's, come on, let's sing it all together.

Richard Bicknell, L. Richard Bold, Sadie Cashmore, Rachel Page, Helen A, Abby Wharf, Luke Bright, Kate, Becky Fox, Tim and Dom, Ria Fink, Cordelia, Amy O'Reardon, Tristan, Tristin, Tass, Charlie A, KC, Tamzin, Smith Harding. What a fun spelling of Tamsin. Unless it's not Tamsin, in which case, apologies. Tamzine. Claire O'O. and Jones. Harold Van Dyke. David Walker.

Jess and Nick. Rachel R. Sarah and Molly. Tina Lindsay. Leah Overend. Always fun. Hannah J. Jam rainbird. A bird that only flies in the rain.

A bit of banter there. Nathan Smith. Liz Fort. Clow. Antony. That was for the other Anthony. Anthony for this one regular. I don't know.

Sophie Chivers. We've never figured it out. Carrie Soothed. We don't know. We're at sea. Dean Michael, Amanda McCall. Relation of Davina, maybe. We don't know again. Thank you so much. Thank you all. One and all. Cheers. Seriously. And if you're not on Patreon, why the hell not? Get over there. Should there's loads of extra episodes and benefits? Why not? There's all secrets. There's so many secrets. When you think of skyrocketing brands like aloe, all birds or skims, it's easy to credit their success to great products, sleek branding and brilliant marketing.

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