Ep148. SINDHU VEE / Minions, Mothers & Museums
00:00Avoiding your unfinished home projects because you're not sure where to start,Thumbtack knows home so you don't have to.Don't know the difference between matte paint finish and satinor what that clunking sound from your dryer is.With Thumbtack, you don't have to be a home pro.You just have to hire one.You can hire top-rated pros, seed price estimates,and read reviews all on the app.
00:19Download today.Hello, Hogs.Thank you so much to those of you who listen to my new radio show.It's on BBC Sounds.If you didn't, if you missed it, that's all right.Otherwise, you can hear it at 6.30 every Friday night or repeat it on radio for at noon.It's called TLDR, Too Long Didn't Read, and it's topical news.Can you believe it?
00:39I'm on the radio doing big girl grown-up stuff.But let me tell you this.A little secret between you and me, Hogies, please don't tell the BBC I told you this.But when people don't like a radio show, wow, are they get in touch?Oh, my goodness me, at pace, at pace.If they do like it, they just sort of tell you on the street and that's lovely.but say for example you liked itcould you do me a favour please
01:02could you go to wwwbbc.combeauUK forward slash contactforward slash comments and if you like to put a positivecomment there because the BBC takes the onesthat you send to the website very seriouslyand I love making it and I would like to make moreand yeah it's a massive favour to askbut I also think like what's the point to having
01:23all these lovely hugs if we can't askto do it's a solid every now and thenI loved writing you a review I wentBest show ever.Catherine's so funny.More booed, please.No, I did not.I did not.
01:33Oh, my God.I just covered my tits right now.Oh, my God.Yeah, so if you like the show,please go on and tell them.And don't worry, if not.Thank you so much.Bye.
01:43Hello, and welcome to episode 147.78.148 of Trusty Hawks.Catherine, Boheart's not here.She's not here, but we have Sindhuvi.Hello.Am I a co-host?Your co-host?
01:59Okay, because I don't want to be guest.Your co-host and guest, you're everything today.I am the full package.Through the fog.Step forth the trusty hogs.Yeah, you're going to give them your problems, and they will solve them,or maybe they won't, and that's your problem.They'll have guests, and Andrew White on the tech.
02:25Oh, it's Helen and Catherine.as the trusty hugstrust the trusty hogs or maybe notyou are a very specific booking for thisbecause in general this is not necessarily a complimentbut I'm hoping you take it as suchI will in general when Catherine's not hereI've incidentally had people
02:49who are let's say more on the Helen side of chatso we've had one where I pissed myself a bitand Alison Spittle nearly vomitedapparently last time it was just me according to trusty hogg's memes which is like anInstagram account I described my feet and nipples in vivid detail because Catherine wasn't hereto rain me in yeah so when Catherine was like I'm going to be in Edinburgh you need a co-host she waslike you have to bring in someone with my energy and you were our first name what this is acompliment it is a compliment I'm not exactly Bohart's energy however if there was I would
03:28say if there was gratuitoustit and feet chat, I wouldhave to rein it in. Whythough? Because there comes a time we have to move toother topics, you know. Yeah, yeah. This is calledtrusty hogs, not dits and feet.I wish. That was my original name.That was, yeah. Do you have any idea how
03:43how hard I'd fight to get hogs in the title with Catherine?Yeah, no, hogs is a, trustyhogs is a great name. She didn't want hogs?I think she did afterhearing my other suggestions.Oh, okay. That is always, one ofmy kids will always do that. She'll come in andthen say give me a list of things that she'd like to do which are heinous and then be like or
04:03this and I'm like yeah do the or this oh genius I was yeah she's the youngest she's a thing I get thatmanipulative vibe yeah but you know I with parents when you're a child after a certain ageand it doesn't even have to be like a long time you know when you're a couple of years old you startfiguring out how do I fuck with these people yeah so they can keep supporting me and giving me shitbut I'm just going to do what I want and also, you know, constantly sort of bump up against losing my lifeand have these people sort it out. That's really what it is.I was so good at doing it for clothes with my mum. Like I'd make the car journey to Reading or Basingstokebe about me not clothes don't fit me. Oh, I'm insecure about my body. And then we'd go to a shop
04:52and I would like go through the app as a sheepic tablet. I'm so ugly. I'm so disgusting.even though I was obviously fire and everything.And then I'd put on an outfit and be like, I feel good in this.And then she'd have to buy it.Yeah.Isn't that fucked up?It is.But also, I feel like your mom and I should have chatted.
05:10I do not want you and my mom meeting ever.I would have been like, I'm so sorry.You feel badly.I think you look great.And you're going to buy what I allow you to buy.And the stuff that made you feel good that I didn't allow,I guess you're just going to write about it in your journal or something because I ain't buying it.I was a very needy chart.
05:28I had a lot of expectations of what I wanted to do.No, but that's big.You're,you know what,you are nothing if not a fiercely independent spirit.Thank you.Which is tricky in a family with three kids,right,
05:40to have one super independentbecause like every year,like what we're doing in our summer holidays,like I've got a full plan.Why don't we just follow that?And no,no,we're not doing what Helen wants.
05:52You are the spirit animal of my youngest.Am I?She has a plan and then she'll announce that this is the plan.And I'm like, according to who?Never say options.Just say the plan.Yeah.No, no, there's no options.
06:04This is what we're doing.And this is what I think is good for this family.And then so I'm immediately on the back foot.And because she has a father who's like, that's amazing.Oh my God.She's a genius.She came up with a plan.I'm like, what?
06:18So it's a constant.What are the plans usually?Are they like to take, take me to thought part?Sephora.Sephora.that's her plan.That's the center of everymotherfucking plan
06:28this he has at the moment.Sephora.Is there a Sephora in the UK now?Well, maybe.But the UKis always school time, so there's noshopping then.Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:40But it's Targetand Sephora, if we go,I mean, anything,I could be getting murderedand if it was Sephora time,she'd be like, bro,I will be seeing you after I hope you liveand then just go.
06:54But Sephora is really good.And Target, I totally get.I went, when did I go into America?Was it twice last year?Target's fund.And lost my mind because I'd seen people like shopping them on YouTube and like,that's where she watches it.Oh my God, does she watch Disney vlogs?
07:12I don't know, but she learned about, put me in contact.You know, never.For anyone who's listening to Trustee Hogs,I am never putting Helen Bauer in touch with my kid because it's going to be the end of me.It would be great.I'm great with it.And my husband will meet you and be like,that's amazing.
07:27I've already met your husband.As soon as you started talking with my kid.Charmed by me.I think you brought up one of your boobs was different than the other.I wouldn't have.I wouldn't have.Not to someone's husband.No, there was something going on.
07:39And you were like, oh, and he just was like, amazing.You're incredible.What a talent.Amazing.Feels good.But he's Danish.She's very chill.Do you not enjoy Target then?
07:50I did when I was a student in America and we used to call it Tarjeet.We're going to.to go buy furniture at Tarje, not when I say furniture, I mean a stool. But I did then, because Iwas on a massive budget, that and Salvation Army and Goodwill, loved that. Oh my God.Love that. I bought my first big winter coat when I got to McGill at Salvation Army. It was like$2. McGill? Yeah, I went to Canada for a while to study. Anyway, and you could zip it allthe way up and there was just a funnel because it was so cold, you know? Like South Park?Exactly. And then I would smoke through the funnel and then I dropped my cigarette once. So all
08:24you saw was this smoky semi-burning person slipping around the road screaming. Also,cigarettes were expensive. So I bought them singly. So I was trying to save my cigarette, save my hair,but my jacket did not combust. Two dollars. And I bought my first suitcase there. Wow.Loved it. I lost my mind. I went and I couldn't believe it. So we were going to Disney World,me and a friend just age 32. I love Disney World. Because it's incredible and the happiest placeon that. I went at 40 and 42. Were you charmed? No, no, but I, no, no, I, no, I,I made this thing, you know, where I took every kid when they turned five.Shut the fuck up.
08:59No, you didn't.I did.Or like a solo trip?Yeah.The first one was me and, well, the first two were so close.So me and the two of them alone in Disneyland.What, California?Yeah.
09:10And they were like, jet lag.I'm like, it doesn't exist.Let's go.And so that's why they don't believe in jet lag.Oh, my God.I went alone with them.Then when the second one turned five, we went again.And then when the baby turned five, we went.
09:21And by then the other's were much older.And then I went again.Oh my God, you are mom of the year.No, I love it.But I mean, you have to do those things, like taking your kid out of school.Yeah, you fucking do.Yeah, you do, but we didn't do those in my family.Yeah, but I don't know.
09:36I wish I could say it was for the kids.Last night I saw Despicable Me Four in the theater.I made everyone go.Was it incredible?Not really.Oh, that's the same.But, you know.Do you like the character of Gru though?
09:45It's brilliant.I love the...I love them.I love them.But I just was like, that's what we're doing.I did not have you, pay you,For Minions, Stan.I love the minions.
09:58All my kids' ringtones are different minions.Stop.Yeah.Yeah. There's one that goes, bottom.That's one of the kids.But it's like you have to go.Dispicable Meat 4 is on.What are we doing?
10:11So I cooked dinner.I got it.Fed them.And we went.And the guy forgot to turn off the lights.In the cinema?Yeah.I was like, this fucking guy.
10:21So I was complaining.And my husband had to come from work and go to this movie.So you left the cinema out to complain?No, I told him, I said, what's happening?The light, the light.I made so much chuncho about the light.He's like, I'll go deal with it.Then he went and spoke to the guy and he came back.
10:34He said, he told me he forgot.I said to him, he needs to be fired.And Jakob was like, just settle down.It doesn't need to be fired.He forgot.It's his job.Light off, light off.That's part of his job.
10:45It's part of his job.And what's the other part of the job?Loading up the film, doing tickets, cleaning the popcorn stuff out.I'm sorry, this was not his whole.home cinema there was many people there workingonce that happened to me oncein Basingstoke at the viewthe lights came on in the middle of the film
11:03someone clearly lent against the switchand no one in the cinema went and I was13 and I went and I told I was the heroof the screen you were and that's the pointyeah it felt really good actually turn off the fucking lightswhat are you doing I need to seedespicable me for it's good I mean you got tosee it I mean this is my summer to do it because I'm like
11:21not I'm in Edinburgh for five days but like I'm notreally doing it. So I'm like, this is mysummer to have a summer summer. Yeah, I'm goingto see Wolverine and Deadpool in IMAX alonebecause no one in the family will go.Sunil just went. Apparently it's just okay.But Sunil thinks everything is just okay.No, he loves John Wick.
11:41I think that...And videos of men flying planes.All right. Well, then if you love John Wick,you're not going to love Deadpool and Wolverine.He went to the IMAX. I'm dyingto go to the IMAX. You've not been to the IMAXbefore? I have, but not to see this.I'm going to go see Gladiator 2 there
11:56and waiting for the tickets to become available.I don't know if I want to see that moviebecause Gladiator was so good.They fight a rhino.Oh, then I guess.Gladiator was like a,is one of my seminal films in life.So I can't watch these two guys trying to.
12:12I'm like, what are you doing?But a rhino.That's fair.In the original one, it was a tiger.I saw it for the first time last year.Gladiator.Oh, okay.It's really good.
12:23It's so good.It's really good.My name is Maximus Decimus.I sound like an algorithm.What?Like Decimus and Decimal.I don't do the math.Yeah, okay.
12:34Dessimal is a thing in math.And I'm just determined to have like a really classy summer holiday.But like I'm not going away anywhere because I went big holiday at beginning of the year.Where'd you go?Mexico.Nice.I know.That's a good one, right?
12:48Nice.Yeah.The food's apparently amazing.Insane.Like insane.saying, but so rich.Yeah.Like, it's like too hot for that rich.
12:58One of my kids went to Mexico at the beginning of the year with her friends.And she was like, why does everyone shit on this place?It's so great.It's, who shits on Mexico?People are like Mexico.Americans, America.Yeah, it's like, you know, it's not safe.It's not this.
13:11She's like, it was fine.Yeah, I felt more safe walking around Mexico City than I did in London.But you're also four feet taller than everyone there.I am.Okay, that's a really fair point.When I got on the bus there, I was like, what the fuck is,wrong with me. I know. They had to open the roof lights, because even their buses are tiny.But you're not going to be scared in Mexico, which is fair. I remember once being in the Philippines
13:32and getting on a jeepney, like, you know, those like little buses and be like, I just don't fit onthe public transport. Well, because you're tall. I'm such a freakish size. In those countries,yeah, but like such a freakish size. Like, I don't know if I would use that word. The stairs.Yeah, yeah, yeah. But also in Asia, including some.South Asia, people stare.They go,they just stare.And I've got unused to it.
14:03Because in India, everyone stares.And in India, I'm a freakish height, right?So when I would go back to India, the kids would say to me,mom, that man won't stop looking at us.And I'm like, oh, he's just staring.And then I started noticing people just go,and they're not thinking something else.They are thinking about you.
14:23You can tell.and I'm like just ignore itbut it's something that is a very Asian thing to doyeah it is isn't itand here it's like don't look don't look don't starebut when I was littleand we were in Malaysia with my familylike I was the stairs were good
14:40because like I was seen as anyeah they would touch my hairbecause they bring goldpassed around restaurantsI loved the attentionand then I grewand I'm with all my like Malaysian cousinsand I looked like a fucking weirdo
14:53because I'm the youngest of the groupapart from my sister. I'm two foot tallerthan everyone, big blonde curly hair.They're like, what the fuck's wrong with that bower?I know. I know. But being a teenager is tough.It's so tough.And I didn't get a trip to Disney.Well, I did when I was 40. My pet, this,
15:11you're going to think this is awful.I planned Disney for my familyevery single year and it was always like,no, we're not doing that capitalistic bullshit.I really suffered as a child.I went on lots of really amazing, like, historical road trips that were really, like, brilliant that people would be jealous of now.But at the time, I just wanted to go to Alacante.I wanted to go to Alacante with everyone else.
15:33It sounds very boring as a child.It is.We went to the San Andreas fault.Shoot me now.We drove for two days out into the desert where you can't have air conditioning on to see where two tectonic plates meet.So that's the kind of thing my husband.It must be some kind of European thing.That's what he does.
15:50I take the kids to Disneyland.I say things like, let's go to six flags.Let's, you know, let's do that.Because I just think as a kid, and also as me, I mean, I'm a Philistine, if nothing, Jesus.So it's like, I don't do museum.So the kids are like, oh, mom today we have, you know, we go somewhere and say, oh, it's museum day, mom is staying home.I never went.I was like, you want to go to the museum with them, you take them.
16:14I'm not going.I don't ask you to come to Disneyland.And also this thing about Disneyland was like when I first got married, like my niece had her honeymoon in Disneyland.Indians love itA sweetheart's honeymoonIt's calledYeahAnd I had
16:27No and I hadAnd I had things done for herLike in her roomAnd becauseShut the fuck upIt was DisneylandAnd of courseIt's your honeymoon
16:34My husbandAnd sort ofDid she get the buttonThat saysNewly RedAnd then they get free thingsAll the whole timeBut
16:41But sort of in the WestIt was likeOh that's so kitsAnd I was likeWhy?It's joyfulThank youIt's joyful
16:50YesI don't think that roarsort of express joy, but I'll take it.No, that's me happy.Did you hear the good news about the Disneysummer sailings from Southampton 2025?No, I don't keep up with it.Okay, no, me neither. Disney cruise ships,
17:04Disney cruise ships. I went on a Nickelodeoncruise with my kids.Shut the fuck up.So they could meet I Carlyand then we met Squidwardand SpongeBob and SpongeBob and Squibbub, my favorite cartoon.Wait, you met Miranda Crossgrove? Yeah, the kids did.She's on the boat?
17:21Yeah, yeah. The whole.Nickelodeon group was there.Stop.I knew someone who was big up in whatever, Sony, whatever, and I was like, oh, and they werelike, oh, there's this cruise.And I was like, I'll come.And they're like, it's a kid's cruise.I'm like, I'll come, I'll come.
17:33But you want to hear a crazy thing.And I'll tell you, this I will tell trusty hogs.I had just started this myrina coil.It's like a progesterone coil.And I've never had synthetic.I've had, I had never had progesterone that was synthetic.And the whole time I was like that.It's a hormone that they use when you do birth control.
17:51So it's like the pill.Okay.But inside of it.It's a coil.And so it's a little bit of this all the time.And my doctor was like, it may not settle, but you have to see.And it might like fall out and this and that.And I was like, I got to go on this cruise.
18:06I did not have a good response to it the entire time I wanted to throw myself off the boat.Because I had a bad psychological thing.And I remember sitting on the boat thinking, oh, you can't throw yourself off a Nickelodeon boat.I was like, the kids are going to forever associate Nickelodeon with their mom jumping off theto the boat and that's a bad losing your mom but also losing your entire childhood of goodof like good cartoons oh my god i was like i got to get off this boat and get this thing out of mebut then i when i got back to london i was like bro i wanted to kill myself the whole time andshe was like oh yeah the progesterone doesn't settle with you i'm like can we get rid of it so we
18:41got rid of it and i was fine good for you for trying it just before going on a nickelodeon cruisewhat a fun choice hello have you been to the nHS appointment situation it's hard to get an appointmentIt is.And the cruise was not...And the cruise wasn't going to wait.And I thought,a little bit of hormone, shmormone,what's going to happen?
18:59Oh my goodness.Also, you have that brain thingof being like,well, this is a great time to trybecause I'm away.I'll be in the sunshine,I'll be on a boat,everything I'm going to extract it.
19:07I just was like, get this thing in me.Also, I just want to say for people listening,I know it can be very triggering for peoplebecause hormones can make women do crazy stuffso I'm sorry about that, but it's genuinely.But women are already mental,I'm all right?Not like we need any help with that.
19:20Crazy bitches.What are we like?What are we like?Running around, taking our wabs out, ruining things for people.Making men feel uncomfortable.I know.Having to take hormones just so that we can kind of stabilize our bodies.Crying all the time.
19:36Where's the chocolate?Bleeding from our fannies or not.Either way, we'll chat about it.Should I have a baby?Should I have more?It's all.I've been, yeah.Oh, I've been, yeah, shit.
19:52That was such a long time.Should I have more kids?You've got me.No, no, no.I would like my trip to Disneyland.Next time I go, I'm going to be like, do you want to come?I would really love that.Because I think what kind of do you, because the youngest one, you know, I mean, every once in a while, you need to go to Disneyland or Disney World.
20:11What's the big deal?Why do people not get this?I have never agreed with you so much in my entire life.I mean, just last week, my husband.was saying, have you had your annual checkup?And I'm like, no, I feel fine. He's like, no, you got to go once a year.And I was like, I'll go when I feel sick.He's like, then it's too late.
20:28And I'm like, oh, come on.But if the mentality is floss your teeth every day, go for your annual.Oh, no one's flossing every day.Oh, yeah, but that's what they tell you.That's the thing to do.Go for your annual health check.Why can't we say every four years, go to Disneyland or Disney World?I mean, come on.
20:44Because some people don't get it.My parents are like, it's capitalist bullshit and it's busy and it's horrific.Maybe it's capitalist, but you have goofy.One of the best single dads of all time.One of the absolute best single dad's of all time.Why didn't your parents get into like, you have goofy and I don't care about it.We went to Shangy prison in Singapore and stuff like that.Japanese prisoner of war camps as 10 year olds.
21:07Yeah, that's correct.If you didn't hear that, that's M in the background saying, fuck.No, listen, there's no need to bifurcate life like that.There's a place for culture and there's a place for joy.Most culture is quite un-fucking boringBut it's so hard to enjoy your summer holidays at death campsLike it's trickyI don't know if it's easy to enjoy your Christmas holidays at death campsite
21:29I'm sorryNo I don't think you should enjoy any holiday thereI think it's good if you want to learn about itAnd yes it is interestingThat is differentThat is differentI really wanted to be one of the familiesThat went to like Alicante in the summer
21:43Like south of SpainAll the families from school are going thereMagaloof?Magaloof.Like, oh, God, all the cool familiesor what it felt like,the cool kids at our schooland these twins I went to school
21:55where they'd always go to, like,Portugal or Manorca or Mallorca.And I thought, like,where is this magical place?They'd always come backwith these amazing tans.Yeah.And really chill.
22:05And I'd come back with,like, 20 mosquito bitesand an understandingof the ways we can torturedifferent humansto a level that was uncomfortable.Yeah, but where are the twins now?No, probably thriving in fleet,
22:16still in fleet.thriving but they're thrivingthey're probably happierI don't know about thatbut the thing is I winged about it so longthat when I became like 15, 16we went to Alicantethree summers in a row
22:29hate itI absolutely hate itIf I was your motherI'd have forced you to have a good timeI was those other age werelike I want to go and alsoit was more because my sister was into tennisso you went to like a tennis camp place
22:42in Alicanteit was called Lamangaand it isn't likeit'syou can take a bus to the beachbut like every kid there was Tennesseeand I was already likenot Tennessee. Clearly not Tennessee
22:55clearly like you could telllike just body wiselike just I had two bigger breastslike it wasn't going to happenNo but it's not like oh you're my huge breastsI love tennisNo what have you seen the OlympicsNone of them have Wabs
23:09None of them no but none of them in any sportsGive us a fucking give us a chanceLike do a big breasted lady weekYeah yeah yeahall of us just try our bestrunning along like that.Yeah, but I mean, Olympics, have you been watching them?A little bit, yeah, they are fun.
23:24Yeah, they are, but also I'm like, why?Oh, go on.Well, I just feel like all that competing,but to, you don't have to just be good at the sport.You have to change your entire body, as you've pointed out.You have to change your entire mind.It's like you have to have this goal.Yeah.
23:43And that's fine.But I just think it's artificial.Now I'm at, when I was young, I was like, this is real.And now I'm like, it's artificial.It is real.I listened to a podcast yesterday about the history of the Olympics.Do you know that there used to be artistic categories in it until like the 60s?Yeah, but that's what I mean.
24:03If you're going to compete, then do it across the range.They had, they did.They used to.So when they, so they were like originally Greek and they ran for 400 years, the original Olympics.Yeah.And then they went away.And then in the early 1900s, a French man was like,like, why are we not doing this anymore?
24:17He brought them back with artistic skills in there as well.Like the best sculptor, the best painter.We would qualify for best.I would love it.If there was Olympic stand-up, I would want to compete.But don't we have a like, isn't there like a stand-up international competition?No, I wanted to be in the Olympics.Yeah, for sure.
24:35It should be in the Olympics.Be in the Olympics.And I would represent India.I couldn't represent England.There's so many good stand-ups here.Well, I would want to.I mean, I'm not saying I'll get selected.But I'd be in the Olympics.
24:46the heats and everything.The heats.I'd want to be in the heat.And I'd get to, and I, and we'd have like matching clothes.We could do the gym kit videos.Now when they're like, page and duct to beat.Emergent.Oh my God.
24:58Yes.And then Snoop Dog would come and be like, cause.You know what I mean?Yeah.He loves it.He would do a whole section on it.I don't know why they got rid of the arts ones.They said it was because the artist got upset because they said you couldn't judge it
25:10objectively.They were like it's too subjective to be.Oh, no.Oh, come on.And stand up.were like, can I be in this competition and win?And then get signed by an agent.So obviously, we do think it can be.
25:21But it's something crazy.Like, women weren't allowed to compete running more than 200 meters until the 80s.Like, they weren't allowed to go above that.Yeah, but that's always the way, right?It's like, let's find the way.But apparently it's because one woman in the 60s felt sick after doing 300 meters.And they went, none of them can handle it.No, but it's always like, you know, how can we make sure women don't start to think that they're equal?
25:44That they're really capable.But I think it was something like the Athens Olympics or something like that.Something really recent was the first time when men and women were allowed to compete in all the same sports, like the same amount of them.Crazy.Did you see the Turkish shooter guy?Oh, the guy who just like, like someone's dad just showed up and was like, that guy?I got some backstory on him.Okay, just it better not be.
26:10How do you say the word libelous?No, this is from an interview.Or like I've had someone told meBut we are talking about the guy who just showed upYeah, yeah, yeah, got secondYeahI think we talked about him last weekBecause the like the competition has happened
26:25So in his post interviewThey were like, oh likeWhy did you take up shooting so late in lifeHe's like, I got a divorceAnd obviously this is going to be likeEd all over TurkeyThis is going to be like a huge thingAnd then they're like, oh,
26:40there's anything you could say to your ex-wife,what would you say?And he's like, I want my dog back.but that guy had that energy the whole time just the whole different thing like he's just not therelike I doubt he's staying in the Olympic village he's got the vibe of a comedian that goes to Edinburghbut stays down by the beach and just comes in for like there's no way he's staying with the childrenalso he's carrying trauma yeah he wants his dog back yeah but also how rough for that woman to havethe whole country being like give him his dog back and she doesn't get a platform to say her story
27:11I'm sure she'll find a platformI hope she doesI mean write a bloody book I'd sayI know and tell us what he was likerighttell us what he was likelet's hear thewe don't need to hear the details
27:22of our athletesactually there are a couplewhere I'm like howyou know the Beckham documentarywhen that came outyeah I only watched itwhen Netflix would show you stuffand she'd be like
27:33and she was likeI'm not poshand he's like tell the truthtell the truthand turns out her dadat a role storyso I was like these two areI like them now
27:41because it's gone 360.Yes.Like they were so unbelievably not my type and now they are.And then their son is married that girl.Oh my goodness.Peltz.Do you not agree?No, no.
27:52He was a child.Love is love.Yeah, yeah.Yeah.The heart wants what the heart wants.Okay.But also then they had this thing because they've spent their whole life making a brand.And now he's gone and got belts tattooed on him.
28:04And it's like, no, no, that's the wrong brand.You think he has to stay with the family brand forever?No, no.I'm just saying for them.It must be like, what?we've worked so hard on thisand now you get this billionaire daughterand you go down that story
28:15I think they've had a lot going onbut also her dad had a Rolls Roycewhy was she so again it's that class thingwhere they don't like talking about itbut I think she's like trying to say in itif I remember the interview correctlyshe's like she's like oh yeah we both grew upworking class and he's like tell the truth
28:30and she's like what did your dad drive to schooland she's like it's a long storyand I think it's that he worked for a companythat drove cars for peopleright I thinkbut the whole thing was kind of likehmm also why do you think they made thatbecause we're
28:46I mean speak for myselffascinated by excellence it's likehow do you get to be that good at somethingand for him you just think oh he's just reallytalented but behind basicallyall of these incredible talents in sportsthere's a really pushy parentand you see it with his dad
29:02like his dad would film all of his gamesgo home and watch them and make him practicecorners for days and daysthere's no other alternativepractice makes perfect and you needin the life of a child you need oneconcerned adult look at the Serena Williamsand Venus Williams their dad
29:17could you watch that film King Richard? Nothat's very good so I don't like that actorWill Smithbecause of the hittingno no no in general in gentI didn't ever like him it was just a thingreally yeah that's why Fresh Prince of Belairis like I can't watch this this idiot
29:32it's so goodno but I just didn't like him that can happenyeah fine finein Fresh Prince of Belair I likeI like the cousin.Stop it, Carlton.Yeah, Carlton.Yeah, yeah, yeah.
29:43He's such a babe.I loved him.And I just could never get.The only movie of Will Smith that I really liked was when he had the dog with him.And it was like a zombie robot movie.I robot.Yeah.And it was a lot to do with the dog.
29:57Yeah.It was a good dog.Do you watch The Dog House?What's that?You're going to thank me so much for this.It's on Channel 4.Oh, okay.I love the disdain for the internet.
30:09The constant is on the internet.And it's like these, you know, like you watch, like they're full shows on YouTube and they're just some kind of reality thing.Is this a reality thing?Yes.Is it about dogs?Yes.Okay, good time about it.Okay, good time.
30:21Okay, good time.Okay, good time.Okay, good time.Okay, good.Okay, here I go.So what they do is they introduce you to the dog kennel each time.It's incredible and it's for dogs that have been like abused or the owners can't take care of them anymore and they're trying to rehome them and then they bring in like three different people each time, sometimes a family, sometimes someone by themselves and they've gotgot a sad backstory. They've been broken some way and they pair them with a broken dog and they
30:43help to heal each other and you get to hear both their stories and then they go into adog's talk. Almost. Almost. Oh my God. And then they're in a meeting pen and they have to get toknow each other and see if there's a bond. Did anyone get bit? Someone got pushed over. I don'tthink anyone's been bit. They probably have but they haven't shown it. And sometimes the dogs dorun out of the meeting pen because they're like, I'm not fucking going with that family. That's mental.And they're like, oh, they're a bit skittish.And it's like, no, you're fucking weirdos.Yeah, yeah, yeah.
31:13But it's, I cry every single time.But it has to be realistic.You have to have some dogs that are like, you come near me, I will rip your face up.Oh, yeah, yeah, there are dogs that are like, you can't even look them in the eye.They hate men, they hate women, they hate children.Because I was, by the time I was 10 and a half, because we left the Philippines,I'd been bitten 13 times by a dog, by different dogs, including our own dogs.So for me being, what?
31:38Yeah.I love dogs, but I had no respect for the fact that dogs may not love me.Oh, you were too keen.Yeah, I was always like, hey, doggy.And also, this was in the Philippines, and people didn't fix their dogs at all.Like in India, we don't.And so the dogs had full emotions.And, you know, and there would be these gates and their noses would be out.
31:57And I would stick my hand in to say, oh, hi, doggy.And sometimes so many things would happen to that hand.So you've been 13 times.And I remember the last couple of times because you had to get a baby shot because noteveryone, because there's rabies in the Philippines. My dad would show, my mother used to say to me,if you get bitten by a dog, that's going to be the good part of your day. Don't come home.So I was very scared because she was so fed up. And she used to say one second, break that down forus. No, no, but she used to say you have to be careful with dogs. And I never was. And so she got
32:26fed up. So she started saying, if you go out in the park and you get bitten by a dog, that's goingto be the best part of your day because you should not come home. You see what I will do to you.So I was always very scared. No, little Cindy got bitten and then come home and mummy.Yell?Yell.Oh, that's so frightening.Oh, I didn't know like that.Oh, I wish.
32:53No, not yell.But it's fine.She's my mom.She also made it very clear what would happen.Yeah, yeah, for sure.You knew, yeah.So I would wait.I wouldn't tell anyone until my dad got home.
33:03And I'd be like, Dad, I got bitten by.And he'd be like, oh, okay, let's go to the hospital.And I'd get the hospital in the hospital.The last four, five time, the nurses, because it was a local hospital,be like, oh, dog bite, get in there.They literally knew why I was there.Stop it.And I didn't just to cry because I would, Mommy would be so mad.
33:19But it was also, I mean, I was also taking the piss a bit, you know,by going up to dogs, I didn't know.But I was very attracted to, I just love dogs.Anyway.But that didn't put you off because I've been bitten once by a dog.And it really, like, it's.It's so scary.For like a year, I was a bit like, oh, I don't know.
33:36And it was really.It was growling, growling.But it sort of like, it yapped, and then it started, and I was trapped.It was like horrible.I think, well, I think I do remember if from a great distance, like I learned to figure out if a dog was obviously going to bite me, then I would walk away eventually.In the beginning, it was all like, oh, I win this dog over a bit like I was with men.Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.You know, I'll fix this.
34:04I'm charming.How could they not love me?No, and also, oh, really, I'll make it better.And thankfully, I dropped that and stop getting bitten by dogs.I dropped that whole philosophy, I think.But then the ones that didn't show those signs, because they were reasonably well-adjusted dogs,but did not want a kid to come up and be like, I also was very forward with them.I'd be like, look at the nose.
34:27And they'd be like, I never, like, did the thing where you show the back of your hand and all.I'd be like, look at you.Love me, love me.No, I used to do this.No, you were not.Obviously, you're on my mom's side.I'm with your mom.I'm 100%.
34:41And I own it.Sleep outside, not in the house tonight.No.Easy.No, not.Well, I would not go in the house and tell her.I used to just hold it like this and go and wash it in cold water.I mean, how I didn't get rabies, I don't know.
34:53But anyway.Wow.I know.I know.So I want, if I watch dog house, I want to see someone getting bitten.Come on.It's, it's UK TV channel for they won't show it because no one want to adopt these dogs.Yeah, but also the dog can be.
35:06fine. There are people who are stupid.People, you can't showit. It's so crazy. Channelshow, channel show. Channel show. Channel4 will show whether you canthe guys, you can see all the bits.You know, that one where they choose it.Naked Attraction. They'll show you that,
35:22but they won't show a person getting nippedby a dog. What bullshit. I would loveit if you watch Naked Attraction. Do you watchit? No. Oh my God.I just was like, I don't... It'sreally boring. Afterthe first like 10 minutes,You're like, okay, yeah, there's...
35:38But there's a lot of...I've never seen Kardashians.I don't watch reality TV.And I've never...I've heard Kardashians, my kids watch it.But then again, I've never watched sex in the city.There's many shows I've never watched sex in the city.Yeah, I just...
35:50I just the concept of it, I was, you know, I was young and when it came out,and the concept of it, I was like, this is idiotic.I'm also not having sex in the city, so like, why would I want to watch it, you know?No, but four women, you know, and it's supposed to be about...Yeah, I'm about four women, am I'm all right?Oh! No.Chocamanan.No, it was more like, oh, this is such a sort of girl power.
36:11And all they talked about was their relationships.That's all there is.That's all we have.Fuck that.That's all we have.No, I didn't like that.I haven't watched Kardashians.I haven't seen naked attraction.
36:21What reality TV have I seen?This is sexist that neither of us have seen sex in the city, but I did watch the wholeof entourage.I haven't even seen that.It's really good.What have I seen all of?Oh, House and Law and Order SVU.House is the one where he's a doctor.
36:36and he's so hotand he's so goodhe's so hothe's such a good doctorno he's crazybut he's hotI've always had the hotnot when he was Bertie
36:44in the Worcesterin the Worreis that's the namenot when he was in blackadderbut nowas his houseit's hard to get turned on by funnyI know
36:55well no that kind of funnybut also he's onVicodinthat's so attractivewhat's Vicodinit's an opioidwhat's an opioidit's a drug
37:04it's heroinhe takes heroinon screen as a doctor.Yes.You muffin.He does.And that's what's so great about.He's very broken.
37:13But he's a genius.What does the heroin do to end?It's a, have you not, when you have an injury, like in America, like here, they say, go home and take paracetamol.In America, they say here.Or ibuprofen.Or ibuprofen.Or ibuprofen.Or ibuprofen.
37:29In America, they just give you vikidin, which is like an opioid.Is that why they've got that opioid crisis, the people who are super addicted to them?That's not exactly.why but it's close and so if you're like me you say no to the Vicodin because you know two of thoseand it's never stopping wow makes you feel good yeah like in what way like brain good like highbut like like ecstasy like a rush of like happiness but then it's very addictive oh no no oh yesthat's why that's why i'm not doing it no no if there was opioids that weren't addictivei'd be all over that who doesn't want to feel good i feel like i got addicted to melatonin by the way i'm
38:05not saying people should do drugs. Don't do drugs. Don't do drugs. Don't do drugs. Even if you need it,don't take it. I've never done drugs. I smoked weed once. I was 24 years old in Montreal and I thoughtall the dogs in Quebec were coming to bite me. And my friends had to lock me up. My friends had to lock me up.And then all I did was eat. And I was paranoid and they said, don't ever smoke weed again. And that's theonly drugs I've done. Smoking weed is awful. I tried to get into it for years and years and years.But now I like gummies. Yeah, I don't, I don't do drugs. I'm not suggest.you do, I'm just saying if I had taken Vicodin, I'd be an addict.Sick. Love that for you. It's good self-awareness.
38:41Yeah. You just know where your line is.Oh, yeah. I was a drug addict at the age of four, so we've had to be very careful with me.My mum found me, I'm sure I told us on the podcast many times.What drugs were you doing? She found me passed out by the window in our house, having drunka bottle of cowpole, because I really liked the taste. And she was like, oh my, and it was likeliterally like the scene of like a child just like little dress just like aempty bottle rolled out but luckily she took me straight to hospital she's like oh my godwe've got to pump her stomach but it turned out four year old me insisted on using the spoon but
39:18had none of the ability to do it so I spilled most of it whilst trying and I'm like chugging itI was like that's a great that you cannot meet my youngest as I've told you when she was very youngin nursery and she may mind me telling the story but it's not a bad story she was innursery she had a play date and um i could hear them and then suddenly i couldn't hear them and that'salways a sign yeah and i went and she she had asked me mama can i eat crackers with my friend andi said yes and i'd taken out the crackers she had taken her friend into the bathroom and hadhad spread the crackers with baby neurofen, like the liquid, and said, this is delicious.This kid had no idea.
40:07I had never, like, was a normal single, she was a only child, so no.And my kid was sitting there and eating crackers with, like, instead of marmalade with the baby ibuprofen,neurofen syrup, I had to call the mom.how do you saywell first of all the biggest thing you can't dois lose your shit the way you would if your kid was alonebecause there's another kidso I was like oh oh don't do that
40:35and because it was so artificial of memy kid got scaredshe thought I was having a psychotic breakmom's not screamingno mom's not screaming and mom is smilinglike this is going to go badly for meso she put the cracker awayand I asked how much have you eaten
40:49and the little girl who was visiting had no ideashe's like yum yum I'm like okayput that away and I just looked at my kid and I was like that's not a very nice thing to doand I think my kid was like can I go home with you like to the other kid can I never cometo practice then I had to call the other mom and you know this is my third kid but this is that mom'sonly child and be like oh god um nothing bad has happened you always start by the way mothers nevercall another mother and then start giving some long-ass story get to the point and the point isEveryone's safe.
41:21Everyone's alive.However.Your child has.I said there's, your kid has had some baby neurofen syrup on a cracker.So the good news is it's with food, which is important for ibuprofen.She was like, what?I'm like, ibuprofen is a bad for your liver on empty stomach.So she's had it with food.
41:42But I'm sorry.It's unnecessary.And my kid thought it tasted good because it was strawberry flavor.that's but I'm with your kidthe cowpole had strawberry flavouring in it tooit tastes magicalthen sit and have your own sandwich with itwhy are you feeding it to another kid
41:59because sharing's importantalways share with other kidssharing is scary anyway that mom was pretty chill about it actuallyoh that's good I was scared I think the fear of a parenthaving to call another parentto like say that something's happenedis like such a big dealyeah yeah no no especially on your watch
42:18We played so roughly in my house.And I was aware that we were like a rough playhouse.Like because we always looked off.Like we said like stains and like hair was a bit.Like we would like you could tell that like something.You were as my mother would say rough and tumble happy children.There we go.Rough and tumble talks and I bloody loved it.
42:40I also loved tumble tots and the kids loved it.And I used to love it because I could do other shitand they would just be tumble totting.Oh, tumble tot.And they couldn't hurt themselves.Of anyone who's international tumble tot.tumble tots is the best thing in the world they just take a village hall and just cover itand soft play stuff and parents just chuck kids in and have a coffee yeah brilliant yeah
42:58brilliant so so you were rough and tumble we were rough and tumble but we had like we had quitea big garden but we would like invent stuff yeah instead of like you're having actual toys withlike safety procedures so we were like this is a great game so we got my dad to climb up the highestand tie a rope around itand we were like, that's the toy.It's a rope.But like, we couldn't really...So what we had to do is we had to hold on for dear life
43:27when I would run back as fast as possible,we'd get flung in the airand you cannot let go with the ropebecause you will die.And that was the one rule.But then, like, we thought it was the best game everand we didn't let go with the rope.And then, like, I'd invite girls over from school.
43:42One of them let go.Is she okay?She fucked up her wrist.My mom had to call and be like,right here's a thingwe've got this thing called ropyall you have to dois hold on she panicked and she let go
43:57it's technically on her like it's allbut I'm being so embarrassed the next day at schoolbe like to not go to Helen Bowers' househer dad throws you really highand I was like you're finebut it's always funny you know when you havehow households are oh my yeah different housesand you know sometimes you have to
44:17tell your kid who's invited to a certain house,I'll take care of it, but you're not going there.I'll take care of it, but you're not going to their house.Stop.Yeah.Me and Em had a coffee this morning, and we were literally,because I'm like, obviously writing, like, a new show.And I want to talk about, like, the idea of friendship when you're younger,
44:38like, being like you friends, your chosen family.But it's not true because you're just friends with people that your parents knowor the people you go to school with.Yeah.Like there was never an option to like not be nice or friends with someone.It couldn't fall out.Yeah, yeah.No, you can be friends with school.
44:53I don't.You wouldn't let them go to certain houses?Yeah, because I know that that's, there's trouble.Rough play.No, not rough play is not the trouble I worried about.No, there was other trouble and you just think it's not my child's business and it's not my business,but it is my business to protect my child.Oh, I bet my mom did that as well.
45:10I'll ask her.Because there's things that you just never know when you're like growing up.I wonder if I was ever like.But also you have an instance.And you think, I'm not going to be judgy, but I'm just going to avoid the potential because I've seen or heard stuff.Yeah.And that was always hard because in India, when we were growing up, if your mother said no, it was no.Here, the children, both because I think it's in the water here, they will question you.
45:35Oh, for sure.I love questioning my parents.And they were young.To this day still.Yeah, now you're older.They're young.And they say, why?And the first time that happened to me, I was like, sorry?
45:44and they were like, why?I'm like, because I said it.And they were like, no.And I remember one of my son's friends said to him,she can't do that.You know, he was like seven or eight.He said, stop at seven or eight.Yeah, he came home and said, what was this kid's name?
45:59I can't remember his name.He said, Ollie, Ollie says, you can't do that.You can't just say because I said it.Oh.And I said, well, but I was like, well, you have to tell Ollie.That's how it works in this house.And he said, no, mom.But he was also, in my child, he was very innocent.
46:14trying to figure out where the line is and like where the rules start and so then I said listenI don't know about Ollie's mom but I'm this mom and this is your house this is your familyso he said well then what I said well you can pack a suitcase and go and see if someoneother family will take you where you can question but this is what this house is so he saidI don't want to leave this house I said then there's the rules it's fine so we're finebut when they're a little bit older and you say you can have your that friend overand they say well can I go there and you say no and then you have to sit therethem down and say you cannot tell your friend I said that because it's going to be very hard so
46:48we're going to have to lie you're going to say you have a dental appointment and you can't goand we're going to make and I'll take care of it I'll eat it I'll bring up the stories we can't gothere wow you can be friends with them in school because the thing is as a parent you and it wasvery rare but you think you have to have a lot of compassion for that family as well yeah yeahYeah, you know, that you don't, like if something was to happen or something weird, they would also be very upset.Not everyone can, and I'm not talking about rough play or bad food.No, I'm now thinking people were probably like, don't go to the powers.No, but not, no, no, but this had to be big.
47:26Yeah, okay.It had to be big, you know.And like, for example, if there's a family where when the children are very young, they let them play.And the only person supervising is their sibling who's a year older and the parents think it's fine to go out.I'm like I can't have thatbecause I can't hold another childYour kids would not have come to the palaceNo but how much older was
47:48Two years olderYeah but you know I also thinkMy mom left us all the timeBut I justShe wouldn't necessarily like leave usBut she'd be workingMy mom would like run the drama school in the houseAnd then I would put like
48:02No no I'm talking about parents leavingAnd then being like not being in the houseOh not being anywhere close yeahAnd when the oldest childchild is eight. Oh, that's little. Yeah, that's little. And I also feel for that oldest childlike, it's a kid. Yeah. And I'd be like, no, come to my house. We'll all be around. I've seenepisodes of Supernanny like that where the oldest kid is left to do all the child care. And it'sreally sad because they can be like 10 years old and they're like raising children. It's like, oh my God.
48:30And it's like huge in this, I'm obsessed with this IBLP cult, which is IPLP, the Institute ofBasic Life Principles. It's, um,It's a cult.It's a cult.It's a Christian thing.But it's like, you can see it on this show called 19 kids and counting, which is a realityshow when we were growing up.Yes.
48:49But now a couple of the kids are like grown up and out of it and like writing their own storiesand their own books.Yeah.And is this where one of the boys.Is in jail?Yeah.The son did stuff to his sisters.Oh, yes.
49:02But which is incredibly common in that cult.Of course.The sexization of young girls.Don't look.Don't think about your sister.Tits. Don't think about your sister's tits. Then obviouslythey're like... And also when it happens, then cover it upuntil the girls... Oh, it's
49:15your brother. It's horrendous. Their dadwho was seen as this like perfect father or was portrayed as this perfectfather went on the stand and said,I've got no memory of him doing anything.And it's like, you're just pretending you don't remember any of yourdaughter's sexual assault. It was horrendous.What was I was going to say about the IBLP though? It was going to bevery droll. Just about them
49:35and they're writing their own stories and we were talking aboutchild care.Child care.Yes.So the parentization, what do they call it?Parentification of young children.It's like a massive thing therebecause the idea is you have as many children
49:48as God blesses you with.I can't even say it.It's so fucked.So like the women are like puppy mills, right?Just like chucking out, checking out, checking out.But then because they've got like 19 kids,like the older, it's always the daughtershave to then raise the younger siblings
50:05and they're called buddies.But like they're from the age of nine.they're raising babies instead of getting an educationand it's like oh my fucking Godyeah yeah I meanin India you don't even have to be in a cultit's just like parentification's just done a lot of itnot in my family but in my parents family
50:23cousins you know I mean it'sand it's so different to beinglike protective and taking care of a younger siblingit's a totally different thing yeah you're cookingyou're cleaning you're yeah you're cooking you're cleanand also all of your needsare like a parent's needswhen I had children I didn't need to sleep
50:43but I was an adult who chose to have those childrenin these situations your parents are fuckingproducing childrenyou're a child and then your needs don't countyou stay up at night you change diapersit's it's not just thisIBPLPIBLP it's I think
51:01a lot of systemsall patriarchalin whichfamilyand hierarchyare very closely joinedand this is literallywhat IBM is
51:15it's like the umbrellas of protectionyou are underthe head of the householdwhich is the fatherand you're under his protectionuntil you get marriedand then you are under his protectionbut like
51:25you are all under the umbrellasof authorityand also the big umbrellais God who is amanas he bloody should beas he bloody should beI don't know about that
51:36I'm listeningI don't know about thatavoiding your unfinished home projects because you're not sure where to startthumbtack knows home so you don't have to don't know the difference between matte paint finish and satinor what that clunking sound from your dryer is with thumbtack you don't have to be a home proyou just have to hire one you can hire top rated pros see price estimates and readreviews all on the app download todayHello, Hogs. It's me, producer Andrew. I am obviously lurking in the shadows very often, but I do also perform stand-up comedy. So come see me in the spotlight. I'm at the Edinburgh Fringe, 20th to the 24th of August. And then I'm going on a mini tour around Brighton, Bristol, Manchester, London, Exeter, Portsmouth, Bourmouth, Salsbury, all those places, some of which are very far away and I have very little audience in. So please come and support me.
52:38Birmingham, Birmingham as well. There we go.So, yes, standupandry.com forward slash tour for all my dates and Edinburgh.Thank you.Hello, young hogs, hoglets, as it were.Are you on the internet?Have you heard of YouTube?Well, same just recently.So, if you would like to subscribe to my YouTube channel or Helen Bowers' YouTube channel
52:57or Andrew White's YouTube channel, then boy, oh boy, would we notice and be glad.Have you seen it on there?There's so much stuff.Join us on the YouTube's.You know, for all of its complications, at least Hinduism has goddesses.Yay!Favorite goddess?Probably Parvati.
53:28What's her thing?She's, so Parvati is, one of her forms is, well, her main form is, she's,She's Shiva's wife.Shiva, the creator?No, Shiva is the destroyer.Oh, who's the creator?Brahma.Apologize.
53:46That's okay.And Shiva's the one where every time he opens his third eye and eternity passes.Oh, my goodness.I know.But the thing about Parvati that I love so much is that she was, I think she's the onlyIndian or Hindu goddess who is divine in her own right, not because of her marriageor her father.Lash.
54:04So she, throughout all the stories and the middle.mythology around her wants to know because in Hinduism God is really yourself with a capitalS so she is very much I didn't know that so divinity is in us and so that's the whole purpose youknow like we say we want to be liberated we want to have nirvana we want to have moksha it's becausewe are always here in different bodies to learn that we are ourselves divine right broadly speakingso you still celebrate the gods and goddesses like you still like make offerings because the mindneeds a form. Because the mind needs a form. Okay. Okay. You know, the thing about the mind is it needssomething to look at, to smell, to see. Otherwise, how do you bring your attention anywhere?
54:47Yeah, yeah, yeah. So all of these forms are for our attention so that if you keep on seeing thisdivinity, that's how your focus will ever be on divinity. And you can pray to a certain God or goddessto bring out the divinity you so desire or wish. Yeah, you can pray for money, you can pray foreducation, you can pray for fertility, but it's all to, it's to focus the mind on the fact thatthere's divinity everywhere and also inside. The thing about Parvati is, because she's herselfdivine, she's a female who shows up and says, I want myself to know myself. I don't need a man,I don't need a husband, I don't need a father. I am sui generis.able to understand what is my divinity
55:34and all her stories are about thatand that's what I like about herbecause it's in a waythe most equalrelationship and when in one ofthe songs Guru Gita when sheshe wants toshe sits at Shiva's feet and he's
55:50a renunciate and she decidesshe wants to marry him and she triesshe's very stunning so she tries to beshe dances and he's always in meditation like thisand then she gets the god of love and lustto come and put his arrowWhat's his name?Kama.
56:04To put his arrow.And as he's about to pull the arrow, Shiva opens his eyes and burns him to dust and says,you should know better.I am in stillness.Shut the fuck up.And she's like, oh, damn, that didn't work.But because she's divine, she has all these powers.And finally.
56:21Turning people into dust?Well, she didn't.He did.Yeah, he does.He just goes angry like that.He also wears a garland of skulls.He's like on his own trip.Anyway.
56:29Yeah, he is.But finally, you know what?you know what she falls in love with about him when he finally opens his abs when he finally openshis eyes because she has sat there forever and says okay i'm you know what i accept you like i acceptyou to be my wife you've you've you've shown that you're not you know what she says no i wantto learn the meaning of stuff that's what i want i've gone past all the other stuff i want to learnwhere's like what is God what is divinity teach me that and that so she meets him right there and like he's allabout like oh you're hot and you should be my wife she's like but she advocates for herself yeah and she's like
57:12I want to have the knowledge that everyone says you have here and that's amazing about her the other thingand I don't know how much time we have but I tell you the story no no tell me everything we'll do problems inthe extras fucker you're going to love this story so then they marry right and here's this and here'sa story that my mom used to tell me and I used to read in the Indian comic books and I always thoughtshe's the bomb. She's the bomb. Is that they got married and it was huge because he'd finally acceptedher and they were very happy. And then he had gone to war or gone to do something once and she livedin his palace. So it was their palace, their home. And all the guards and everything were all like,oh, Lord Shiva, he's our boss, you know, and you're his queen and it's great.
57:54Must be really difficult to be married to, like, the destroyer.Like, just, like, plates and cups and stuff.That too.That too.And also, it gets angry that makes people ashes.But I'd hate to work in the destroyer.Like, I love her, but, like, I think it would be tricky to, like, clean up after that.No, but they had the help.
58:09Okay, good, good.Yeah, because they were, like, kings and queens and queens as well.Anyway, so she's going to have a bath.And she thinks to herself, every time I go to have a bath, I want my privacy.But if my lord, her husband, comes home, his, um,his, the guards always let him in because they're like, it's his house.But sometimes just want my own space, you know.So she says, I need someone of my own who just sees me.
58:35Yeah.So she takes Ubtan.Uptan is a thing we make with like water, rose water, a bit of turmeric,a bit of chickpea paste, and we usually do it to like clean ourselves.Okay.So she does that and she does like this with her body and she gets all that, you know, grime off.Yeah.And she makes a little boy and she breathes life into him because, remember, she's divine.
58:53So she has that powerShe breathes life into himAnd he's a little boyAnd she says, you're my sonAnd you're just my sonI'm going to have a bathAnd don't let anyone inAnd she doesn't tell him anything else
59:06And he says, sure, mom, cool, cool, coolSo he goesAnd he's just fine with itHe's just like, yeah, no questionHe's not hungryI told you in India we don't say why to parentsWe alreadyHe's like, oh hi, I've just been born
59:17Okay, cool, no you've got backSo she gives him all of what he needsAnd he's thereAnd she's having a bathAnd then Shiva comes backAnd he says, hello, hello to all the guardsAnd he's about to go inAnd this little boy says,
59:28My lord, my mother is bathing.You cannot go in.And he's like, who are you?Like, what, you know, move out of the room.She didn't tell me she had a fucking son.Exactly.And he says, he keeps calling her my mother.And he's like, all right, fine.
59:42Get out of the way.And the kid says, no.He says, I can't.It's my mother's word.And her word is everything.And he says, I'm Shiva.I am her husband.I'm this.
59:52He's like, sure.but it's her word and then all kinds of things start happening a war is waged but this boyhas so much power that he this is mythology but still yeah but then shiva gets more and moreangry and his armies meanwhile she's having a very long bath okay yeah it's about to say like she'senjoying the soak yeah but she also has you know what we talk about manifestation intention she hasfull belief in her son and her love for her son and her power to have someone who justsees her.Okay.
01:00:24Full thing goes on.Doesn't work.Shiva gets...Wait, the war happens while she's in the tap.In the bath.It's all going on.It's a mythology story, all right?But the boy, even though he's very gracious, he's unbeatable.
01:00:37He's like, you can't go in.And then at some point, he turns his back and Shiva comes from the back and cuts offhis head to win, to be able...And he says, there you go.Now I can go in.And at that moment, Barwati comes out.And she says, that was treachery.And he says, oh, come on, this boy,
01:00:57and I don't know what you were doingor whatever argument they have.And she says, that was my son.And you are prayed to by the mortals as God,and you were so treacherous?And she said, these people that pray to you,because of whom you are so great,you and Vishnu and Brahma, you're frauds.
01:01:17You wait and see what I do to them.Because I am also God, because she's divine.so she puts plague on human beingsall the temples they go tothere's just plague and sicknessand people are likeoh Shiva oh have youhave you forsaken us
01:01:34and he can do nothingand she just sits backand she's like you are treacherousyou killed my boywith treacherybecause your egoas a god is thisI'll show you
01:01:47not one person is going to believe in youand in that formshe's DeviAnd no one knows what to doFinally, Brahma shows upThe creatorYeah, and he goes to ShivaAnd he's like, it is a shit show down there
01:02:01People are losing faith in usWhat is going on?People are throwing up in the streetAnd pooing everywhereAnd dying, yeahAnd also you're domesticAnd where is your egoAnd Shiva says, I didn't realize
01:02:14He's like, what did you not realize?You kill that boy with treacheryAnd you expect to be held up in respectNever decapitate a boy.from the back.Never.No, but if you're in a war, it's a war.But, I mean,
01:02:27the boy was a soldier, fine.But she said, if you had beaten him fair and square.Anyway, Brahma goes to her, and he begs her.And he's Brahma and Vishnu.They all say, please, please, please.And she says, you know, the three of you, men,you think this is what is to be?No.
01:02:44And he says, I will bring a boy back to life.Yay, Brahma.Yeah.And she says, and because she's a mother.That's really what she wants.Yeah.And so he goes to Shiva and he says, look here, dude, get in the forest.And the first animal you see bring me its head because I need a head.
01:03:01Oh, no.And Shiva goes in the forest.And the first thing he sees is a one-tasked elephant.And that is why you have Ganesha.He is the god of all new beginnings, unauspicious starts.Oh, my God.And that's him.And so you always have Shiva Parvati and Ganesha there.
01:03:20There's a little family, you know.Yeah, their mother-father.Did they-ishah's, Shiva's and Parvati's son?Not that it's any of my business what happens in their marriage,but did Shiva and Parvati's like stay together after?They did, and they have another son, Karthikeya.They have another son, Karthikeya.God, I find that I think I'll be tricky to stay together after that.
01:03:38But she taught him a lesson and he begged.Yeah, it's a lesson taught, but I think it'd be hard to move on,like to get back in bed with him.I'd be like, well, fuck him.Yeah, I don't know what the goddess and goddesses did, but they stayed together.Some people are better at forgiveness.Yeah.I think it's the lesson.
01:03:49And also I think she was like, bitch, I showed you.Yeah, I mean, she did.I mean, and no offense to any Hindus listening to this.Obviously, she didn't say that.That's my language, sorry.Yeah, just to check, like, did then Ganesha, like, have a good relationship with Shiva, with his dad?Yeah, I mean, he was always like, my mom's pretty good and you're okay.Yeah, I think I'd feel super awkward around my dad.
01:04:09No, no, it was fine.Really?Yeah, because in Hinduism, it's all cyclical.So everything that happens is so that we learn something so that next time we're better.But that's why I love.the Bible, man.That's why I love Barwati.I like her too.
01:04:25And she is, so the two forms in human.I do think the bath could have been a bit shorter.If I'm on it.And I do think a plague to all human guys.No, but she was trying to, but she gave, listen, she gave Shiva so many chances.She did.To back away.Oh, man.
01:04:42And all, and here was all of humanity saying,Shiba and Brahma and Vishnu are so great.And she was like, are they though?For ego, you kill a child from the back?Not niceNot niceAnd that's how come we have DeviLike for us goddesses are a big deal
01:04:58Because we're like yeahYou knowSo we have Devi and we have Shiva and ShaktiThat's what we callThat's the sort ofThe TrinityForm no that's a form of OMAThat's the female energy
01:05:11So in all tantraTantricYou have Shakti and ShivaThe male and the female energyAlwaysThere's no hugeThere's no life without male and female.Interesting.
01:05:26You read the Bible?So many times I went to a Catholic and I went to another.It's not as good, is it?It's different.It's really different.The Abrahamic religions are different.Yeah, but it's like, it's not as fun.I don't think anyone has a bath.
01:05:39No, but there's not mythology, but the Greeks had mythology.That was fine.That's it.When you were saying all that, I was like, this is so Greek.Because the only, but then it's like, there's no really good relationships in Greek mythology,apart from Hades.who's Hades wifethe one that like
01:05:53he takes her to the underworldbut the agreement is likeyou have to come and live in thenot Persephoneoh it is Persephoneboom fucking genius Sambut likeat least they make a deal
01:06:04that she gets to leavefor like half the yearand live above groundand get lightlike that's sort of likea little bit of an equalwe have so many of those as welllike the sad ones
01:06:15but there's always something to learnI know I knowbecause as I was sayingI want to get into it.Is there a book I can read that will tell me everything?I don't want to take everything.We'll start telling you something.The hits.
01:06:27Yeah.Top hits.What are the hits?I want Hanaman.I'm going to...What's Hanaman's deal?Hanumanji.He's the son of...
01:06:36So Anjani, Vayu, wind is a female in Hinduism.Great.So her name is Anjani, and he's Anjani Putra.And his father, we'll leave it.Putra is son.Okay.And we only ever hear who's...who is his mother.
01:06:51We never hear who's his father.Because as in a lot of Hinduism,you can only really know your mom.Also, if you can just be like,there's my baby.You don't need it.No, but we don't, we,I mean, ultimately you can only really trace
01:07:09the truth of who is your mother.You can do a DNA test for your father,but you know.Yeah.So we really have that mother energy.Hinduism is so cool, man.It is cool.It's got lots of things
01:07:20that are not cool it depends what you focus onI suppose like in Christianityif you think about St. Francis ofAssisi and the very spiritual side of itthen you get away from the kind of moresociologically complicatedparts yeahwell that's good chat
01:07:36yeah not to think aboutyeah I'm going to give you a bookof like stories there's a kid's bookof like Hindu storiesand then you can start sayingoh there's Hanumanji and this but the thingwith Hanuman is he's I went to histemple there's so many monkeys so many and they just hang around everyone's like yep that's what
01:07:55you're doing they're really cool yeah yeah yeah yeah he was like is he in hampie so pretty they'reeverywhere oh my god i love it i'm going to deli on sunday and i'm going to daly on sunday and i'mplease and i'm definitely going to the hanuman temple there yeah oh my god i've got it end the episodebut can we just keep talking in the extras yeah we'll just keep talking in the extras oh okayso you can join us on patron but like just plug yourself oh ohWhat?Plug yourself.No, hi, I'm Sindhu.
01:08:25Like, what do you want me to say?You know Sindu.She's already been on.We're on Instagram.Go see our live.Do you have a big audience in the US?I think we've got American listeners.I don't know how big it is.
01:08:36All right, listen, American listeners.I'm coming on tour, man.I'm coming in October.To Target?I'm going to go to Tarjeet, but I'll tell you where all I'm going.And then please, please buy tickets and come and see me.It's called Sindhu,live, and I am going to be...
01:08:52What a name.11th of October, Vancouver, 12th, San Francisco, 13th, Houston, 17th, Miami, 18th, Washington, DC, 2 shows in New York on the 19th, 20th, Austin, 25th, Atlanta, Philadelphia on the 26th, and I'll end in Toronto on the 27th.Please come.It's a second part of the tour.Well, it's actually a different tour, but that was Sindhuvi Live in March.I hope you came, and this is going to be other stuff, and it's in October.so please come.I want to be in the States.
01:09:21That sounds really cool.It's going to be fun.And also it's so close to elections.That's going to be tense.It's going to be tense.Kamala Harris.So then go see Sindhu.Go see Sindu.
01:09:31Break the tension.Have some time off.Yeah.Kamala Harris is a very chill presence on stage.I am and I don't talk about politics.But just one thing.Kamla Harris is half a million and so am I.Yes.
01:09:43Indeed.Thank you, Cindy.Goodbye.Hey, you, I'm talking to you.Why are you not a member of Trusty Hogg's patron already?You can get extra episodes, 145 of them.We've got blogs.We've got live shows.
01:10:01Come join us on Trusty Hogg's Patreon.Are you fucking kidding me?No, I can't believe I joined in.Please join us on Patreon.That's how desperate we are.But like casually, it's like, no, we're not.I love to you breakfast that way.I've got this.
01:10:17I've got this.I've got this.Wait, what do you get on Patreon?You get 145 extra episodes.You get lots of Helen dancing seductivelyand sometimes taking her top off.You get all of our secretsand you get much of our shame.
01:10:31It's a bargain.So join us at Trusty Arms.Bateswan.com.Patreon.Patreon.How are we saying?Patryon.No, but it is patreon.com.
01:10:42Thank you so much.I thought, does it sound like the mattress kingin that episode of Friends.Hey, I'm the Metris King.Come get you mattresses.
There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click any sentence in the transcript to leave one.