Ep151. Martial Arts, Mandolin & Medical Tourism
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00:19Download today.Hello and welcome to episode 151 of Trusty Hoggs.Fresh off the excitement, the thrill, the anxiety,roller coaster that was our quiz. That I won. Not Helen won. It's the trusty hogs. I'mCatherine Bohart. She's Helen Bauer. What is this podcast, Helen? It is a podcast, which hasn'tbeen this way for the last two weeks, but in general, in general, our podcast is about us. Whatwe're up to. I'm a stand-up comedian. Catherine's a stand-up comedian. We do gigs. We chat.Our lives are perfect. We tell you all about them. Then you ride in with your honestly frightening,
00:59upsetting problemYou guys are fucked upAnd we give you someperfect adviceIt's never wrongDon't worry about itIt's certainly not conflictingDon't take the advice
01:06No noIt's the main adviceThrough the fogStep forthThe trusty hogsYeahYou're gonna giveyou problems
01:18And they will solve themOr maybe they won'tAnd that's your problemThey'll have guestsAnd Andrew WhiteOn the techOh, it's Helen and Catherine as the trusty hogs.Trust the trusty hogs or maybe not.
01:39Helen, how's your week been?I've been thriving, but can I just say, obviously I have,because I only did five days at the end of my September bounceback this yearcompared to the previous years has been incredibla.That's so funny because you've already rang me to moan about how sick you are.I did have a cold.I did.Okay, I had a cold.
01:59for one day.But Sunil thinks I caught it on the bus.He's like you take the bus too much.You do take the bus a lot.I love the bus.Just for a woman who makes the money that you do,you take the bus a lot.I love that.
02:08It's so convenient.Yeah, fair play.And then I can play Pokemon Go the entire journey.I do like that you have phone reception on the bus.It's so different.But anyway, I bounced back.I had a cold.Yeah, I cried on the phone about it with you.
02:21Sure, yeah.Was part of that because you were in bedand Ellen definitely didn't have a top on?Yes.It made the call more fun for me.Did you watch those videos?She told you about the DIY girl?No, I literally forgot as soon as I hung up the phone.
02:37She's going to be gutted.What is wrong with?Well, you've got to remember.Most of the call was you telling me that you and Ellenwanted to invite Sineal Patel in to your bedroom.No, that we both separately fancy him.It's not a group invitation.Her name is, what is her name?
02:50The ones that Helen watches Christ.I was like, oh, what do you guys do?It was a Sunday and I was like, oh, I'm sick.Like, what are you guys doing?Alexander Gator, that's what she watches.She does studio makeovers and bedroom makeovers in Toronto.And I think Helen, Helen, I think Ellen probably fancies herbecause she watches all those videos, but she also just loves DIY.
03:14It was like calling in to check on how your gay best friends are doingand the two of them are in bed watching videos of another woman doing DIY.And it's like, you guys going out of the sunshine today?No!She's got drills, she puts her bookshelves.It was really cool.No, she actually has a man who does all the DIY stuff.Shut up.
03:31She can do some of it, but she mainly just bosses men around.It's pretty exciting.That's kind of hot.Yeah, and she makes these cute little slippers.Wait, she makes slippers?That's a separate side hustle.And it's all in these videos.Yeah.
03:43YouTube is such a wonderful place.Isn't it a weird world?But honestly, her stuff's great.It's really good.You really see what you can do with a tiny space,which is always heartening when you live in London.London.London.
03:53Oh, yeah, by the way, not to docks ourselves, but we live in London.Don't find us.Don't follow us.Do not find us on the street.Don't come to our houses.One of us is north of the river.One of us is south of the river.You'll never know where.
04:03I'm south, Catherine's north.It's so obvious from the way we talk.Catherine.Catherine, Catherine, please, please.Please.Shut your mouth for 10 seconds.I'm just, sorry, can we just please?Can we please?
04:15Can we please just shut Catherine's mouth?Can we please shut Catherine's mouth?But you know what?I'm going to say 20 seconds while I say,you thrive this fringe.And obviously we talked about the buildup to it for so long.You have to let people know how it went.It went fine.
04:31Oh, come on.It went fine.Oh, my.Are you fucking joking right now?Look, I, the thing is, first of all, I did 15 days.I did 22 shows.I did my own show 18 times.I did two podcast shows of the trusty hugs.
04:47And I did two of my radio show whilst writing my radio show at the same time.So it was, for me, honestly, the busiest, hardest work fringe I've done.I think I would have had two nights.for my birthday and once the last evening and both times I was home well before two and bothtimes I sat down for the entirety of my time out but I um also it flew by it honestly was like boththe longest and the shortest time of my life and I liked my show and it made such a differenceand I'll tell you what doing the Melbourne Comedy Festival playing that show every single day tosilence was like training
05:26in altitude because when Igot to the monkey barrel and peoplelooked at me and smiledlaughed, out their mouthsmy God, it was honestlylike this is the most incredible feeling that'sever happened so that was niceyes and it went well and I got some nice
05:42reviews and I gotthe thing is though I knew you couldn'tdo it you can't enjoy it you can'tthink they're stupid I know you doI think they're stupid I know you think the awards arestupid. I do. I think they, I don't think you can compare comedy or art or. Okay, and this is exactlywhy art and comedy got taken out of the Olympics, but it did. It was in it until the nightcomedy. Not comedy, but it's still an art form andro. I think it's tricksy. I think like there are
06:11so many shows there that could be nominated. But they weren't because they were shitter thanyours. Why can't we just enjoy things? But the thing is like the day I got annominated. I watched Pierre Novelli's show.No, the day you got nominated, proof that everyone else's show was shit compared to the peoplethat got nominated. And that's all that matters.Imagine if I've ragged on the awards for so long and then I was like, but now that I've beennominated, the system is perfect and nothing needs to change. Um, no, listen, don't getme wrong. Having tried Bose, being nominated, a much more enjoyable experience than not being
06:45nominated. It comes with its own stress, but it is joy. No, it doesn't. Sorry, I would say no,it doesn't. Really? Yeah, I really, I have no time for people being like,Oh, it's so, is Jessville getting up for a photo shootand being one of the, named one of the best shows?Not the photo shoot, the, oh actually, yeah, maybe it was different for you.Just that sort of, I think the personal dynamics for some people can be quite tricky.I think because I didn't get nominated onto my fourth show,people were actually, and this was the thing that I found very warming about it.
07:14One was, my favorite thing about it was that it was a really nice excuse to thank the people who've helped me.That's true.It's like a really, like, easy, apropos of this, I get to say why I wouldn't be able to do this, that you.the other like really cheering sweet and warm thing was i was surprised by how many people got in touchto be like congratulations this is so nice and that was really nice and i think that probably waseasier for me because um i haven't been nominated before so i think people were a bit like oh she'sdone enough of them that we can be happy for her um you know what i mean i think we've got happy eitherway i think it just can be a bit tricky on the days when like i didn't see anyone the room is
07:51circling about like certain people being nominated that like people can start like people startacting a bit bizarre you know yeah I didn't see anyone really because I was so busy the person I sawwhat I found out was Georgie who's a much shorter woman than I who's helped with all of my comedyshows and um lifted me up that was pretty cool so good out how superhuman strong she is um yeah nodefinitely better than nothing and very lovely and very umaffirming, but that's what they wanted to feel!No, it's not, it's a gift to give to everyone who you worked about here as well.It's a gift to say like, you're great at your job, you're great at your job, you get to look
08:32at the people who you worked with and be like, hey, we all did this.But like, but the thing about going to Pierre's show was so nice was because it was so like,oh yeah, there are like a hundred shows of this festival that could be nominated becausehis show was perfection.And I feel that way with the last three of his shows, I feel like any one of these could be nominated.Yeah.And it's, you know, a real shame that none of them have.And so you're just like, yeah, thank you so much
08:52to the people who were on the panel,but this is obviously like a very subjective tasteand it's those people's taste.Yeah, beauty and the beast lost the Oscarto Silence of the Lambs.Like, nothing's perfect.Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's crazy.Were they nominated?
09:01Have you seen the 1991, best picture?Yeah.Have you seen the John Ronson documentarywhere he follows the criticgoing up to the Edinburgh Fringe?No.It is amazing.I will find out of you not seen theirs.
09:13It's on YouTube.It is all on YouTube.What's it called?I'm just about to find it.Which critic?For a broadsheet.It's called.Critical condition
09:20and...Is the name of his show.Sorry, I GoogledJohn Ronson, Edinburgh Fringeand the first suggestionwas psychopath, question mark.The Financial Timescritic Ian Shuttleworth.
09:31So he went up to the fringeand did a show.Who did?Ian Shuttleworth.It's a terrible show.He's clearly very...He thinks a lot of himselfand his abilities.
09:40Right.And they should go behind the scenes.You're the critics.They followed Andrew.Jesus Christ.I would hate to have Andrewcritique my show.Oh, fucking hell.
09:48That was a very kind of.If you actually watch the documentary, I was a very kind reading.They go behind the scenes of the panel discussing the best shows.And one of Ian's friends, who's another critic, is in the panel.And he's like, well, I thought Ian was bloody good.I thought it was really, you know.And because of that, he gets long-listed.To be clear, I feel so grateful.
10:07And I don't want to be, I guess I just mean like,I think blindly being like, this system is perfect.And nobody else deserves it would just make me feel icky.I agree with that.And I do think every single.single year you're like yeah it's like it is lush being nominated it is a niceoh my god are you kidding it's so nice but obviously but in the same way there's a lot of people whereyou're like it would also have been lush for them and their show was like arguably better than
10:35nine yeah you can feel that with a lot of things but it's also like but I got lucky this yearyeah you know and that it's still lovely and also I think I think I think we spoke about on thephone but you just like it is like there's other people that have beennominated alongside you do you know what I mean yeah and I might exactly and it's your whole team and Ithink that um the thing to say is that if there's not luck involved putting yourself in a situationwhere you could be nominated I think we all work really hard to like put ourselves in that positionand I think I've put myself in that position um but I think then of who they choose it's maybe a bitof luck um it's it's everything but you do have to watch this documentary Catherine yeah critical
11:16condition can't wait to don't mind if I do and theListen, it was really lovely.It was a real true.And it was really nice to see Amy win.And it was like genuinely, I put a post up about it,but I mean truly like Miss Congeniality won the main prize.Like everyone was like, yeah!And you get a photo shoot?
11:32I know, I know.It's tough because...What did you wear?I can't remember now.Oh, I wore an Ellen stripy shirt.Yes.Yeah.That's it.
11:42Like corporate business, like sex.I did go very big lesbian business wear.Do you get a tiny trophy as well,a little nominee?You get, that's what I was going to say is you get to keep a miniature version of the trophy, which is actually so cool.And, no, and also it feels a bit like a monkey off my back.I, like, having done it.A what?
12:00A monkey off my back.You know, like a spectre on your shoulder?Nobody?A spectre on my shoulder?Like, a thing that hangs over you.Like, I was like, it's nice to have done.Okay.And not feel like I could never do it.
12:12Okay.Like, it's like, nice.I've never heard that phrase before.Really?A monkey on my back.Like on a strike in my shoe.it's like an actual phrasethis is one of those things
12:23like a ghost of my wardrobeam I rightwell this really is like a thinglike a leprick one in my earoh it's good to get it doneit's like that but I guess it's likewhat people do sayokay but I've never heard it
12:35no and then therefore it mustn't be realand also you've got to mention the best thingis the free breakfastyou get free breakfastand actually you get um sausage sandwichesding ding ding ding ding me mingand you've got to know this point of fringeyou're so broken like anyone offering you like sandwiches on a platter it's just like it's
12:53kind of emotional it really meaningfully is you're just like fuck yes what did you have i hadveggie sausages in a wrap lovely delicious in a bath any sauces i didn't have time because my showwas at 12 and the awards around 11 so actually speaking of the best agent in the world claireshout out claire got me a sandwich and stuffed it into her pocket so i could eat it in the taxi on the wayto my show what a coolqueen what a fucking queen that's legendary and that's so nice but no sauces well i mean she has areally nice jacket no i wouldn't expect you to put sauce in there what sauces does one put with a veggiesobviously ideally you'd have ketchup but we didn't have time also everyone was bar hanging you couldn't
13:33get to the sauces yeah that's true they were blocking the oh andrew came as one of my guestsi know he did i think that's so lovely wasn't it nice wasn't it nice so lush so katherinebig french i was so proud you should have seen me in londonSo Neil was still like groggy and sleeping and not quite up yet.But like I saw you'd been nominated.At 3.30?Insane.It was at 3.30?
13:57The absolute sleeps on this man this summer is incredible.Or what I really think is happening is he's pretending to sleep.Right.Yeah, yeah, yeah.To like avoid me.Just to have some alone time.Yeah.But I was like, oh my God.
14:10Oh my God.Oh my God.Oh, my God.They've been nominated.And he turned out already knew because NicolaChris's partner had like messagedsaying and then like apparently they must have found outor something and I was like for fuck sake
14:26but the list was like you I mean come onwasn't that the cutest listyou found it an hour before it goes publicand yeah the list was heaven on earthI got in a taxi because okay so I had to rush from the awardsoff with Chris Cantrell because his show was also onat 1215literally up the road to me so he got a taxi with him and his wife
14:44of my agent Claireand he was justblubbering in the cutest where he just was so proud of Amy and that is why I love that listbecause it was like just people just legends supporting legends it was so cute yeah it was soso cute it's also because it's not much where you get to be like oh I'm proud and I've madethe people that work with me and put so much time and effort into me I've made them proud as welland it's so lovely to be like it's it's more than this but like that first time you get a sticker sayinggood work instead of just a tick on your homework.
15:18I know, it really is. It does feel likean excellent sticker. You're like, what thehell? Or like a big VG and red pen.But you, oh my God, the VG.The VG. Just to get that.Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My English teacher used to occasionallywrite nice underlined. Nice.Oh, that feels so Irish.
15:37Nice.Oh, come on. That's good gear. That's good gear.And a red inky pen.I think you're amazing. And I think to do that,on a year where your focus was incredibly split as far as like doing the radio four showTLDR alongside doing a show like there was a lot going on and it's like it just shows howpowerful you are and do you remember in I'm not going to get the full context of this conversationbecause I feel like it's too private maybe in the patron episode remember the end of July when
16:07we're talking about like I feel like we both just need to like have a little bit more beliefand take some risks because sometimes like just it's easy to do you.this in the careers in the arts or anyone who's self-employed will understand this. Like,you're scared of taking a risk because if it doesn't work off financially, you do pay for it.And also, like, sometimes, like, it can be a struggle to bounce back from things or thingsgo massively wrong. And also, if you take a risk, then you're taking time out or something elsethat might be something that does earn you money. And, like, and it's sort of like, we both said,like, I remember, oh, there's so much context of this, but like, they're like, next year,
16:41I think it would be amazing if we both did say, like, fuck it. Yeah. I'm taking a bit of a risk.feel like we've both figured out quite a lot recently.We could back ourselves a bit more.Yeah.And I think we do sometimes play it a little bit like,I know this,I know this room or I know this time or like,I know this.
17:00So like, go like, fuck it, I'm going to go off a tall room size.Or like, and just sort of being like,and if it doesn't sell out, I don't give a fuck.Yeah.Yeah, yeah.Because I tried.Who cares what other people think.Yeah.
17:11Because I tried.Yeah.I am really, really,really pride of it and pride of myself.And also like, it was a big year.lot of stuff happened moved agents etc and um lots of stuff that felt like oh god this is big changeyeah um so yeah it was a very nice clap on the back and i feel very happy if i'm honest and how are youcelebrating this is another thing that you've learned recently you're taking another oh yes i'm going
17:35on holiday when you said another i immediately was overcome with guilt i was like when was my last one oh my godyou took one earlier in the year where did i go you're allowed to take a break i went to the cottageI did go to the cottage.Yes.No, I'm going on...We are going on holiday.See, the cottage became all work.So we are going.
17:53But this time you're doing it again.This time we're going and we're going to Greece and we can't work.And there's no jobs that are coming over it, touch wood.And everything's just so nice.And I'm so excited we're going to...It's just Ellen and I.And we're going to a nice Greek island.I've never been to Greece.
18:08It's where my parents honeymoon, as you know, with the seedless grapes.I'll not go there again.It's so fucking wild, man.And then we...No, we have to go there again.Just to be clear,my parents are their first seedless grapein Greece in 84.
18:24So mental.So I'm pretty excited to see what my first will be in Greece.My mum saw her first dog in Malta in 1975.Okay.No, she didn't.Fuck you.Fuck you.I am really excited and I haven't been on a sun holiday.
18:39Do you learn any Greek?God, no.But I bought a lot of SPF.I bought a lot of P.20, my go-to-son holidaySPA. I've seen that one in the boxes.Yeah, oily bit of business, but it really covers you up for the day.Yeah, it's really exciting.
18:53And I'm just going to lie down and read a book.I'm actually going to read Pierre Novelli's book.Yes.I'm going to read, reread Rose Cartwright's bookbecause the maps we carrybecause it was too much to process the first time.And, yeah, I'm excited.Do you want to borrow anything?
19:09Any relaxation stuff?I'm trying to think what I, no, I think I'm going to buy myself one.Coloring books.Oh God, no, no, no, I'm well.Thank you so much, thank you.You're famously not a wow.But, okay, but I'm...You're not, Catherine, just to be clear,
19:23you're doing really well, but you're not a well.A well felt like an extreme, that was defensive.You're mentally...You can't make me.You're mentally unwell.But I'm not...Catherine.No, no, no, no, no.
19:33I could never, I could never, I could never, I could never.If I were to do an equivalent of colouring, for me, it's knitting.Yes.But I haven't gotten any...I'd like to get you a little tapestry set, maybe.Oh, that might be nice. Maybe I'll just get myself apair of knitting needles. Do it, go crafty.Yeah. But to be honest with you, I just can't wait to lie down, sleep, be in the sun.
19:54I'm going to get so many freckles, I'm going to swim, we're going to go to the beach.I'm really excited. I actually feel so lucky to be going on holiday, like so, so, so lucky.Do you have a pool or is it sea swimming?I think there's a small pool where we're staying and then, but we'll go to the sea.I love to be in the ocean.Oh, my God.It's my dream.Do you have any of the inflatables?
20:14No, that's not a thing we're worried aboutYou should get oneNo, no, no, no, not water wingsI mean like a big unicornYeah, you know, I knew what you meantNo, no, I was with you, I wasn't, I can swimPool noodlesYou know, we didn't check on the website for that
20:32As the first port of callYou're gonna go on a banana boatUm, again, no, it's KefaloniaIt's where, oh, it's where Captain Crowley'sMandolin was set, so maybe I'll read thatum don't oh it's good but do you have you read it i remember reading it years ago i'd have to read itagain because all i can remember and this this could be actually completely wrong now i'm saying itbecause maybe i didn't read it but like did you watch the nicholas cage film instead no i haven't
20:59seen the film case i imagine that um i will find it but all i remember is like the opening chapterand i remember thinking like has someone swapped the book over with a different like cover because i got off acharity shop is about a man really clear details about a man who's got a bit death because he'sgot a pee in his ear and the doctor comes over and says you have to soak it in oil and leaveyour head in the sun outside of this window and then he comes up the next day and he removes itbecause it's like floated up to the striped piece right off the surface I remember thinking thiscannot be a love story this cannot be right but I think that is the opening chapters it isand also is Nicholas Cage and Penelope Cruz.
21:42Good for them.Good for them.Is the opening chapter about someone who's like getting their hearing sorted?Yeah.Also there was a TV series and the opening episode is titled A P in the Year.Wow.But it's like in detail.I could get into that.
21:57Because I remember thinking you can't have your head in the sun.I like watching those videos where they pull things out of people's ears.Oh my God, it's so good.Yeah.I don't like the spot ones.Those are repulsive.But I like the ones where they pull the wax out.The Hoover.
22:10Oh,haven't we seen the hoover?These have all been like,almost like plucking utensils.Fabulous.The one that's like...If you push down on a spot,it would come up.
22:19No, I don't like that.I don't like that.I don't like that.Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.Have you ever gone to the doctorand asked if you needed it?My ears are fine, thank you.I asked.
22:28Do you need it?Last time I went, I was like,oh, just to check,is there anything in my ear?She's like, oh, are you struggling with your hearing?And I was like, I don't know.I'm saying really coy.You tell me.
22:37And I was really hoping she'd look in.it and be like oh my god you need an irrigation no she was like there's nothing yeah i have had themcheck recently because i had a sinus thing and they're like no ears are fine and i was like bam out of allthe one i also i don't know what it is about my hearing but like i probably need to get tested but i alwaysfeel like i could be existing on a higher hearing plane i know the feeling like yeah i just needthem to pop or something but yes yeah should we do like a like a trip to get our hearing testedI genuinely love thatI actually could do
23:08in my site being tested as wellI think it's finebut I wouldn't mindDo you know where we should all goBoots?No I mean Boots is also greatBoots does itBoots does it
23:15TurkeyI know of peoplego over to Turkeyfor like cheaphair transplants and stuffbut you can go to this medical centreAre you going to go to hair transport?No no
23:25OkayI was very tellingthat's your first thought thoughYou opened with itYou opened with itWhy are we in Turkey otherwiseBecause they have this massive medical centrewhere you can have a full body MOT
23:36and it's like £600.You also stay on siteand there's like an all inclusive restaurantand a pool.This is a con.No, no, no.I get TikToks about it all the time.It's real.
23:44That's a con.No, no, no.At least three TikTokers still have organs.Okay, tell me everything.So what's the MOT?They just like, they do scans of everything.They take bloods.They do a physical.
23:56You can have like a full.Shut up!It's like very cheap in Turkeyand you also have this beautiful resort.And yeah, they do.they just treat you very well.Come on.I'm not going to do that.
24:08Okay, imagine if they graded youfor how good your body is at the endand you got a V-good.I just think it's...How about if you got a nice underline?Honestly, there's enough stuff.Everything I know about my body worries me.I don't need to know anymore, thank you.
24:20Yes.Do you know what I'm saying?I'm like, that's none of my business.If it hasn't come up, then just leave it alone.I don't know.Are you not terrified that there's always something lurking underneath?If this is like those people who ask their partnerswhat they give them out of 10,
24:31I'm like, what are you...What are you doing?Sorry, what?I know people who've asked their partnerslike, if you had to give me a squareout of 10, what would it be?And it's like, are you high?Exactly, I'm.
24:43Exactly.So you have to say 10.I think 9 is acceptablebecause it's like, I don't put you on a pedestal.But I still think, yeah, 10 is probably the only acceptable answer.But also my point is like, where are you going with that question?In the same way that like, I don't...If I can't afford an MOT, first of all, which I can't,
25:00I'm sure probably can't afford whatever it is.I need to get done to get fixed if it's not an emergency.So just leave it a laugh.I'm kind of with Andrew thoughbecause I'm just sort of likeit's the unknownthat I'm just sort of likeOkay but here's the thing
25:12what could a doctorlet's just say there's something rightthat the doctor needs to tell youlike they do an MOTand they're like ohhere's some adviceI'm guessing we could allprobably posit
25:23what the first five thingsthe doctor would tell us areand I don't want to hear themthat's why I haven't changedany of those things in my lifeand I feel like we all feel the sameno i want to know yeah helen do you smoke yeah but i didn't smoke for four days three days three daysi didn't smoke all weekend right but do you know what i'm saying do you see where i'm going with this
25:47yeah but that's i think that's a really good step in the right direction and i'm proud of myselfand um yeah um yes they'll tell me the smoking thing but there's other stuff like remember wheni sprained my ankle and i found out there was an extra bone and my foot growing out my bottom of myIt was good to know.You've got the calcaneum spur thing?Yes, yeah.Yeah.They called it, but yeah.
26:09And it's like this, like a little dinosaurat the bottom of your heel.And it's like, oh, that explainswhy my heel hurts all the time.Yeah, I think I did like that.Because there's an extra bonethat's going to start digging into the skin one day.That's going to be very painful.
26:20They called it Cancaneal Ophysitis.Maybe that's what it is and I heardI've changed it to Calcanium Spurbecause I can say it and remember it.It could just be different things.It feels very Roman.No, I like to think we've got the same foot thing.The fact that at the level of disgust,
26:31I feel even one of those conversationshappening tells meI just don't needan MOTII don't want to know what's goingI've always I've been to Turkeysounds lovelylook at that look at the resort
26:40you can go withoutcharmingthey're not going to steal your organslook at that lobbythat's lovelyyou can go without themdoing anything medical to youyou're just allowed to go to Turkey
26:49but what's the pointwithout goingyou're allowed to go to Turkeywithout seeing a doctorFYI can that be a PSAyou are allowedto go to Turkeywithout seeing a doctor
26:57you can just go therehave a nice timeyeahbut while you're over thereThey might as well get something done.No, I don't think so.I'm in the area, I might as well get stuff.I've got the meat.
27:05I just need a lift.Oh, my God.It's a note from me.There's like a whole page on Instagram of people coming back from Turkey and the planes.And to Neil Glott did.It's a upsetting.It's just like, it's a plane full of lads with their hair transplant.Jesus.
27:22It's incredible.And women who can't sit down fully.Why?Oh, because they're bums.I'd never get hair transplant.Once I did a gig and I have a joke about my hairline.Yeah.And this guy rushed backstage and he was like, I went to Turkey and he's like, oh, sorry, good set, by the way.
27:37I went to Turkey and I was like pointing his head, like, you never tell.I'm like, this isn't the after gig feedback I want.No, no, definitely not.You'd never?Never, no.How come?I think it scares me.Also, seeing all the like little pricks on the head with the little blood dots, oh, no, horrible.
27:53Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.I think that if I started to lose my hair, I probably would.Would you?Yeah, I think I probably would get a hair.hair translated for my because my i mean i have a very high forehead and sometimes people ask me if my hairis receding um who is asking these questions yeah people are terrible but um that is awful it's notthank you it's just always this high she's just got a massive weird forehead massive massive massiveleave her alive she's got a fucking i just have a fucking giant five head and it's none of your
28:24business thank you just like queen elizabeth which is why i answer her in all quiz questionsDoes Queen Elizabeth have a freaky forehead too?Famously large forehead.But that was in vogue,so they used to, in that era, whenever it was,used to shave back the hairlineto create a higher foreheadbecause it was seen as aristocratic.
28:44Love changing fashions.Isn't it astonishing?Yeah.I can't believe that was such a desired thing.Yeah.I mean, the famous one for our generationpeople talk about is the eyebrows.Yeah.
28:55Like for our generation,it was like, the less eyebrow you have,the better.And it's gone so wild nowSweet God and some poor women are left with the remnants of thatForever and ever and everI know some plucked but they were so fit thenThin eyebrows is back in
29:11No I will never ever ever allow that to happen to me againNeverWhen is the upper hair lip coming back inThat must have been a thing for a whileBack in feels strongEverything was in its front pointYeah it is astonishing how likehow, God, how brief
29:31that so hilariouslybrief window ofCurve was back infor a second there, body positivityuntil everyone realised, oh, this is a tablet?Fine, we don't have to be positive about our bodies at all!Oh, thank God! I always have to be positive about my body,thankfully. Hips are still in, aren't they?
29:47Just about, I'd say.I'd say just about.Tell the tube chairs,make them wider, we'll start there.You know what? I sat onmy first chair that I would say was,genuinely too tight the other day.Where?
30:01I was having a walk,Hot Girl Walk.I love that for me.I love that for me.I love that for me.Where?Well, I was having a walk.I'm going to need you to roll back.
30:10Sorry.I was having a walk.I'm going to break.Yeah.From the walk.And I sat down on what I thought with these absolutely charming chairs.Yeah, where?In which park is it now?
30:22Burgess Park.Where's that, my love?Charming.It's like towards elephant and castle.Fine.Right?and sat down and I was likeI genuinely think if I stand up
30:32this chair is coming with meI hate thatmetal was so painfulit's ridiculouswhat the fuck is this built for?While we're on this could there be onefucking toilet engineer designerwhoever who thinks
30:45I don't like yes I'm sorryI mean it's public bathroom he doesn't thinkhuh maybe this binfor sanitary productsdoesn't need to touch a woman's thighwhat if it was far enough waythat I could sit downwithout sitting out on it
31:01could that becould itwhy is it so fucking closemake them lowermake them lowerand longer if you need tobut why is it alwaysin my business
31:10thank youand while we'reredoing the toiletsin the UKgo onlet's talk aboutthe wave and flushwhat are we doing
31:20with our broadbacked womenyeahwho every time they sit downin the toiletit flushes immediatelyput them higherput them higherlean forward to get the toilet well.
31:28We're having a flush again.I'm up to about four flushes before I'm ready to fucking flush.Let's not get rid of the wave and flush because some of us don't want to touch that.Let's lift it.But let's raise it.Let's lift it.Raise the roof.Raise the roof.
31:39Because my body is waving that 24-7.Mine flushes it and I'm not as tall as you.So come on.I'm a five-foot-five woman.It's mental.It's deranged.Also, love that my back is the same size of the hand though.Like little wave.
31:53Also, I should probably stop going on the toilet like there.Yeah, that's how we, that's an odd move.But yeah, those are my thoughts, and I...I've got another thing for the bathroom.Please.We definitely want our soap to come out just automatically.Yes, yes.We do not want the hand pump.
32:10Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.We've learned a lot since COVID.Can we circle back to the, in the stall?Yes.With those weird little, they like, who put the tissue through that little, like, anus-sized hole?You know, you know the one, you have to like, why am I?pinching.Just fucking let it roll, man.
32:29Let it roll.Why?What is that?And then it gets caught and then you're done.You're done.And then you need to wipe, but it, though.Oh, God, it's a fucking mind there.It's awful out there.
32:40Do you know what I'm saying about those pinch little guys?Yeah.Why is it like, and you know it's in there.You know it's got a full roll in there.But look, Helen, get that out.Get that out.Get that.Get that.
32:52I can't.You have to.You have to.Everyone's waiting.The girls are waiting for.So now I'm drip drying.Now I'm drip drying.Oh my God.
32:59And it's not okay.There's a whole roll in here.Everyone does carry tissues with them everywhere they go.And also, can I say this?Can I say this?Please.When there's a queue for a public bathroom,people then spend longer in the stalls.
33:15Say more on that.A hundred percent.Because they need a reward for their waiting.You think it's like a status thing.I'm telling you the arrogance of people from the shift from the queue to the stool ismental. They're like, I've stood herefor, I've earned it. Honestly, usuallyabout three minutes. This is my house now. But they're like
33:31Can I say something? This is mine. May I? May I? Public toilets? Why aren't weplaying music? Why aren't we playing music? What, yeah, what are youwhy wouldn't you play music? Who wants a stark silencein a bathroom? Perverts.It's just so, it's like public shaming. It's like, what are you doing? Justfucking play, play the song. Yeah.Becausepeople are piss shy.
33:55Like, let's just have a couple of tunes going.What would be your ideal public toilet playlist?Loud.Don't give a shit what it is.Loud.I don't want to hear it.I don't want to be heard.Just play it.
34:07What about something to, like, encourage.Like, don't go chasing water balls.Listen to the rivers and the...I don't need it to be quirky.I just need it to be loud.There's an audio book, an audible of Rachel McAdamsreading Anne of Green Gables.Wouldn't that be charming?
34:23That'll work.That'll work.Just like Anne of Green Gables.you sit down and have a share.If it's a book, it needs to be playing in every toilet at all timeso that you can be like, oh, I've not heard this bit beforeso you can piece the story together at some point.That's lovely.
34:35Wouldn't that be nice?Yes.Yeah.Anyway.There's so much we could do if they were willing to put the money in,but that's the British government for you.No, I'm saying the state.Because you imagine if I'm like, thank God the conservative.
34:49Thank God those fucking Tory fucks are out.Because now we can get solving the real problems and broken,broken BritainLet's fix our toiletRachel Mac AdamsAnd a Green Gables girlAnd let's figure out a floating binHave you watched disobedience yet
35:06DisobedienceHow many times I'd tell youRachel McAdamsRachel ViceLesbian movieGoPardonEmma's asking of Catherine
35:18Yeah I think it's goodAnd also it's not about it being goodEmIt's about it being fucking sexydon't listen to her look at me em said hmm like not quite sure it's got drama it's got intrigue and it'ssexy problem is it a movie yeah yeah i will watch it is just that have you haven't seen carroll save thatfor christmas no but you didn't mention car the other day and i saw it popped off on like a streamingservice so i was like it's that's for christmas um do you want to know what i did watch while you were
35:48being very busy and working and doing lots of stuff um obviously still watchinga lot of new films.I've done some absolute clangers recently.Karate Kid.Not as good as you think.I love Karate Kid, the entire series.Have you watched the one with...Series?
36:03Yeah.Yeah.I've watched one.No, not Kobra Kai the series.Karate Kid one, Karate Kid, two.Karate Kid.Oh, it's the movie series.Sorry, yes, yeah.
36:11No, I saw one.Hilary Swank is the girl one.No, that's, that's boxing.It's a million dollar baby.No, Hillary Swank was the girl karate kid.The girl one?The Karate Kid S, yes.Oh, Slay.
36:27I, no, I just...Sorry, this is such a funny photo.I don't know why it's so unthreatening.If you type in Karate Kid, Hillary Swang is just that like that.That's a million dollar baby.No.No, that is Karate Kid.It's so good.
36:40The next Karate Kid.He finds her because she's walking across the street and then a car skids around the cornerand then she jumps up onto the bonnet.That's her reflexes.And I was, I did Karate Kid when I watched the Karate Kid.Yeah.I watched you have a lot of a carot kid.understand that I watched I did karate from 8 to 18 my fucking love for karate kid
36:57films what sorry sorry one second I have a European bronze medal in karateone one one second yeah what on behalf of everyone in this room with three years intothis podcast how we just find out and like eight years into our friendship oh yeah you'reyou did a decade of karate yeah at a very strange place calledKarate, I did Kantani Doe, which is a specific type of, um, get this, Irish-Japanese mix.And, um, this, the senseys often spoke Osweilga.I think I was sort of an IRA front, but anyway.Yeah, we competed.
37:41Oh, that's fun.If you gave me all of my friends on a picture and said which one learned karate for a decade, you would be the bottom of my...Really?Uh, hundred percent.But I have such strong legs.it's nothing to do with your fitness it's vibes really yeah that's i am so surprised really yeah it wasreally intense we did um i did it twice a week saturday afternoons and wednesday evening oh this was you were inyeah yeah yeah and um it was really intense and it was mainly men and a couple of us well two women and three
38:18girls and the fitness element of it was really intense so you'd have to do run circles and circles and circleswith this huge gym and they would call orders and they would call a dojo and it would they would callorders so it would be like like jumps or push-ups or sit-ups or punches and it would just go on foreverand ever and ever but it's like the only time in my life I've ever had a like a six-packstop it for 10 years I'd have a six-pack for 10 years no but I for a very briefperiod I'm making intense abs.And what colour bell did you have?I got to blue, but it was years in the making of this process.
38:55So honestly, like every bell took so long because it was white, white and gold, yellow, yellow and gold, green, green and gold, red and gold, red and gold, blue and gold, brown, black and white, blah.It took forever, it took like honestly so long.I'm in awe of you right nowThank youMy first question was a boy of karateMaybe not firstMy first boy crush was a boy of karateOh my god
39:26I'm fascinatedMy friend's dad taught karate in BracknellTo kidsBut I never wentBut apparently he started every lesson withRemember kidsLove that, love that love thatWe used to do this like really long
39:43Oh no I didn't finishOh yeahI love that. Oh, I love that. Oh, I love that. Very draw.Welcome to my life, motherfucker. That's what it feels like.Can I try again, please?Remember kids. Remember kids. We learn karate, so we never have to use karate.That was a big one. They loved to say that. They loved them.Is that like a thing? Yeah, we used to also do a lot of, so we would do, on Wednesday night,
40:13it was the senior class.and after that we would do self-defense go on senior class being like senior school age oroap seniors be no it was no kids so it was like so you had to be 15 I think to be in that class sothe weekend every age group was in okay great good great and so on Wednesday nights it was likeolder group and um after that they would do self-defense classes and it was honestly okay triggerwarning I'm gonna talk about the kinds of scenarios in which you'd be attacked it would be with likethe greatest degree of likeabsolute disregard for human emotion
40:48it would just be like an older Irish man being likeright so this one would be like if a man comes at youin the night with the dark like in the darkwith a knife and you'd be like I'm sorrywhat sorry like this one would be if a man jumpson you when you can't see himthis one would be if there's no point in screamingthat kind of stuff and you'd be like oh my god
41:04you'd be like leaving me likeI'm just going to run to the cardadextracurriculumand they used to always open with this at the end ofwhen we did the self-defensebecause we did weaponry as wellthey used to always open with this
41:20and his wasn't remember we used karatealthough he did say that to never usehe used to always just sayremember girls ultimatelyyou're never really going to win against a manand he wasn't saying likein terms of skill he was just like they can havenever done any of this but they'll just be bigger
41:36and stronger than you sorun if you canthank youSense.Wow.Yeah.It's kind of...Intent.
41:48It explains my personality of fear that I...Yeah, it does explain some things and it's also like, fuck.That's grim.Yeah, it was really grim.But also...What else don't I know about you?But also, like, I have taken a punch in a kick and can...And that is a good thing, I think, to have, like, get the fear of that out of your way sometimes.
42:08You punch in a kick at the karate?Yeah.Sorry.I thought separately you haveNo, no, that was also been in a fight clubYeahIt was a fight clubUm, but yeah
42:18Ellen says the only way she can see it is if likeIf we'll play likeIf she like tries to touch meYou can say play fighting me and me and the ill play fightOkay but like if she tries to touch meI have quite good reflexes onI'm batting awayStop it
42:32YeahThis is insaneYeahWhat got you into it?A girl called Kelly Frathershout out KellyKelly FraherShe was my best friend
42:44In primary schoolWe both did it togetherInitially in DumboyneMoved to the Cool Mine CentreI love thisYeahDo you ever want to pick it up againI'd love to
42:55I genuinely would love toI think it was a really fun wayTo exercise without thinking about exerciseAnd by that I mean likeI think when I watch Ellen go to footballShe gets to playAnd then incidentally she exercisesI always have to exercise
43:07Kind of for the point of exercisingAnd I really liked that about karate and dance, but especially about karate.I thought that would dance and it's tapping year eight for a bit.Yeah, and you just didn't really think about the fact that you were.That was just an incidental.You were learning a skill.And yeah, I really liked it.We used to, um, the only weapon I did was called the Joe and it was a, it looks like a broomstick.
43:31I love the idea that they just gave women like household objects as well.No, no, the men did it too.I know, the men did it too.Come on, girls, let's see things that you'd have around the house.that you'd be using a lotwhen you're older.Yeah, come on, girlie!If it's a man run
43:43and if you have to fight,use the broom.No.Yeah.But yeah, I didn't knowI didn't tell you about this.No one knew.Oh, yeah.
43:53The shock.So I used to be able to do the splitsbut only because an older Irish manwho would go old sense,used to sit on my shoulderswhen we used to do stretching.They would sit on your shouldersuntil you could do the splits.
44:06Terrifying.To Ireland, I guess.to Irelandto IrelandShould we do a problemfrom a listenerMy mind is so blind by you right nowLike this is crazy
44:18You're going to GreeceCatherine you're fivingThank you so muchSpeaking of IrelandWe're in Dublin next weekWe're in Dublin next weekWe're going toThe Emerald Isle
44:30I don't know why I said thatI was doing an impression of youNo we areWe're coming to IrelandAnd we're very excitedWe'll be at the Laughterland19th of SeptemberI can't wait
44:39It's going to be so excitingI can't wait to meetthe Irish HogsIs there going to be a roomfull of Catherine'sdo you reckonI'm trying to remembermy tour show there
44:48We'll know based on how early they areDo you know what I imagineHave you seen the episodeof SpongeBobWhere he meets his extended familyAnd it's all just likeDifferent variations of spongeNo
44:58But that's so cuteAnd I would like to see thatIt's a very cute episodeBut I'm just imagining thatWe just walk inIt's just like sort of gingerVariations of Catherinein different heights
45:07And sizesand shapesis yeahthat'd be cuteoh my goda load of peopleevery timewhen I say anything
45:12going nononoEllenoh my godoh please bringyour friends as wellbecause we haven't
45:19old enoughtickets yetto Dublinand to be fairto the venuethey are likedo you want tosell a few more
45:24and we dothe answers we doand if anyonewas friendswith Catherinefrom the dojowe'd love youto come down
45:30and do some sparringplease come downand do some sparringin factreach out to meif you're a dojofriendI'll get you in
45:37Yeah, if anyone from Cantani Doe Cool Mine wants to come to the old podcast recording by all means, but especially Kelly Friher, who I went to school.Do you get you like an outfit again?I'd stop for saying her full name, maybe.What?You'll get you the karate outfit.Oh yeah, I had the white one.We can get you a white green and orange though.I bet.
45:58They are some of the most comfortable clothes you'll ever wear.Flea?Yeah.Well, I can't wait.I actually would like to do it again.Does I even know any good East London?Dojos that are femaleinclusive? Let me know.
46:11I mean, if they're going to be anywhere, they're going to be in East London.You know it. You know it.You'll be laughing. I reckon just ask some of the girls at Matitudeand you'll be fine.Oh my gosh. That came out so much more.Somebody's got Matitude.I don't know, maybe ask some of themlike a bitchers at Matitude.
46:29You hate me having other friends. You hate it.You hate it. You hate it.Ying.Avoiding your unfinished home projects because you're not sure where to start.Thumbtack knows home so you don't have to.Don't know the difference between matte paint finish and satin or what that clunking sound from your dryer is.With Thumbtack, you don't have to be a home pro.You just have to hire one.
46:51You can hire top rated pros, seed price estimates, and read reviews all on the app.Download today.It's problem time, bitch.Oh, okay, wow.You mean I had a curveball conversation, but I liked it.But, all right.Thank you.Oh, sure.
47:08We have loads of exciting updates, by the way, but we'll put them in the extras, maybe.Extra?Yes, because we don't have, we don't have time to do them right now.Patreon.com forward slash trusty hogs over 151 extra episodes available to you right now.Also, I fucking love the problem updates.I like hearing that things are okay.Yeah.Or not.
47:28Or worse.Yeah.I'll take either.Go on, Andrew.Oh, well, here's a problem that is yet to be updated.It's very fresh.Three days.ago. This came in.
47:38Oh my God. Here we go.Hot off the press.Hot off the press. From F.Hi F. Hi F.Hi, Hogs. I'm a 36-year-old bisexual woman who back in June broke up with herboyfriend of 16 years.Slay.Whoa. You'd been dating since you were 20 and you've only broken up in June.
47:55Okay, so July August. Wow, two months after 16 years.Funny out.Whilst we loved each other very much and still do on my part, our relationship did notsurvive various things we've gone through this past year.Okay.My problem is that as we got together so young, I went to uni together, we have the exact same friend group.Oh, dang.Whilst me and my ex hope that we can be friends in the future, we know that we both have a lot of stuff to work through before we can even think about that and therefore have been hanging out with our friends separately.
48:22So mature.Very.However, it always feels like the elephant in the room whenever I hang out with friends.And whilst I'd love to talk to them about the breakup, I'm worried about making them feel like they have to choose a side.How do I learn to hang out with my friends that I'm going to.no longer now that I'm no longer in the relationship I just want to be able to hang out withthem normally but it's very exhausting at the moment love you guys F that's hard and love youF love you F hmm times a healer is the main thing that comes to my brain yeah right like over time
48:57this will get easier but does not help you as of right now I thinkfrom experiencehere we gohere we gothere isn't a right answerto this questionbut thatI do think
49:15I can't be doingwith elephants and roomsI have to talkabout the thingso what I tended to dowhether this was rightor wrong I don't knowbut what I tended to do
49:25and what worked best for mewas to say to each friendwhen I hung out with themlike hey this thing'sobviously going to be a thingsometimes I'm going to want to talkabout it. What's your feeling on that? And then I would keep them updated on how I felt about hearingabout the person. From the perspective of being someone who was in the relationship, not as a friend.
49:46Yeah. So with it, with, so like with some of my friends, with a lot of my friends, I was like,I don't want to hear about this. So if you hung out with them, I don't need to know. If you sawthem, don't need to know. And then when that changed, I'd be like, I'm actually okay with hearingabout it if I ask. And then other times it would be like, okay, I think I'm now.at a point where you can mention them casually and some people were like I'm not going to beable to necessarily always not mention it and I'm sorry if that makes you uncomfortable like sometimesI just will forget or I don't want to like lie and I was like that's fair enough but I had theconversation openly with each person um and I asked people if they were comfortable talking about
50:29it with me because I like you are in some cases asking them basically not to mention thingsto other people the other person right like you're basically like want to be able to have yourfeelings held but not necessarily relate to the other person um which is a lot of girly wallywally relationships it's a lot of girly whirley you know but you can't tell them yeah just becauseI'm saying this doesn't mean you can ever repeat it but obviously you're going to and then I'mgoing to be in a conversation next week and be like oh my god I can't believe she told you and it's like yeah but youtold me yeah what the fuck is going on and then we end up going like well screw it free the nippleyeah free the nipple but also i do think it doesn't get better fast but it does get better
51:11right yeah can we address the picking sides thing yeah i don't think why i don't see a world inwhich they'd have to pick a side just because you want to talk about it like i think i think i thinkthat it's tricky people will often victimise the person who's been left and they will sometimesvictimise themselves guilty and uh you know but i think everyone knows you have to be able to leaverelationships yeah you have to be able to but yeah i think i think particularly like f's in their 30slike it's just like it can feel like people are picking sides but i don't think peopleactively are.They're trying to hold on to like their friendships.
52:00Yeah, true.And I think that your awareness of side picking.And obviously, as the friend,you can be aware that it could be construedthat you're picking a side.But I don't think people want toor necessarily are.No, I think it's more uncomfortable
52:15for people. They're more panickedthat they might seem like they might be.Yeah.Also, like your friends will fuck up.And so will you.You'll at one point ask for informationthat you actually didn't want to know.Yep.
52:25or you'll cut yourself off from informationand then find things out by surprise randomlyand then be like, why did nobody tell me?Yeah, why did no one fucking tell me this was happening?Yep.So like there will be just your feelings to it would change.But just like, inevitably there will be one friendin this friendship group that you are just closer to than everyone else
52:45and as long as that friend and you can have that complete transparent back of courseyou're not alone with it through the breakup.I think that's fine, right?But gosh, like these are completely normal.feelings I think the thing that is quite embarrassing that you feel quite like shame aroundit's like oh god making anybody feel uncomfortable making anybody think that you care make anybodythink that you don't care making them all sort of drawn into it is like yeah it's not yourfault and that is the risk of you know building a life with someone yeah and I promise you
53:16none of them have to deal with it like you guys do so it's fine happens if we break up likewhat happens to Andrew and M what do you know what do youmean like if we broke up yeah in like years and years to come yeah like something likeI end up in hospital again for eating something and you're like I can't do this again I fully understandthe part where we break up but what do you mean what happens to Andrew and M do they have to picksides or do we just like pick now um because I think I'd want both right for emotional supportyeah yeah yeah also to like link me to the queer community really nicely yeah interesting also I feel likeyou have a girl friend.
53:56Yeah.And I'm single, so I might need the support.So I think I'll take both.Thank you.Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.All good?Yeah, I've always found, like,ultimately they choose themselves,
54:05so I'm cool with that.Really?Yeah, they'll ultimately find their best places.Bitch.Do you, um,I'm a mother in court who'd be like,put the kids on the stand,motherfucker.
54:19You are, you are.Put them up here.I know who'll not pick.Mommy loves you.Mommy loves you.Never forget.even need to say anything.Who did your homework for you?
54:26Who got you that A in English?You're not welcome.Don't need to say any of that.If you've done it,you don't need to say any of it.Oh my God.I am.Genuine question.
54:36Do you ever being the one in the relationshipthat then like being an F's positionis also like a really good chanceto like cull some people?Oh my God, you must.I used to do some stand up about this.I used to do stand up about this.That a breakup is a beautiful opportunity
54:53to lose the friendsthat they were friends within you also knew.And I think there is something to be said for a tactical.Like what you want to do is like think carefully.When somebody from their side of the fences you might consider itor ideally someone who you want them to have messages you with like a really effusivelike oh my God, poor of you.You like you want to keep that response like thank you for reaching out.
55:16I really appreciate it.Thank you.But not oh my God, thanks so much.I'd love to see.Thank you.I really appreciate you for reaching out.Thank you so much.Bye.
55:24See ya.I just got a message from someone I've just realized.No!Am I being cold?I'm being cold.Maybe.That's okay.Okay.
55:32Oh.But F, you got this.And the hardest part is sort of done.You've ripped off the band-aid, but fuck me.It doesn't get easy, quick.Have a fish supper tonight?Fish and chips?That usually makes me feel a bit better.
55:47I do love a fish and chips.To be fair, that does make you feel better.A lovely chippy tea.But only two months after the breakup.Oh, you might be.getting your appetite back by now.For sure. I'd have a chippy tea if I were you.Do you think? Yeah. And get
56:00a bread roll with it.And curry sauce. And curry sauce.No, soft white bread. Not a bread roll.Make a chippy curry sauce sandwich.You're doing that on a soft white bread. You're notdoing that on a bread roll. You can getyou get baps in fish and chip shopsin this country. No, soft
56:16white bread. Come on. Grow up.Come on. And then, or make a bit butty.What party? A bit to butter. You know, when you getbits or scraps, just the, thebatter that's falling offlike the fish and stuffand you put it in a sandwichwould catch up.
56:28Are we trying to get F to slowly killthemselves?Maybe that's what we're saying.No!It's just going to suck for a bitbut you've got to look at the positives of it.And F, do you want a podcast to listen to?Because speaking of putting children on the stand
56:42and culling,I've been listening to a podcast.I'm nervous, Catherine. I've been listeningto a podcast about people withfictitious disorder who have,do munchessons by proxy and it's called no one should believe me and it is absorbing so obviouslyi'm in i know yeah damn it katherine um is this i'm so obsessed with women with fictitious disorderi can't stop listening to podcasts about them ficti i do you can't believe you keep finding them it's
57:13impressive wait can you just no one should believe me fictitious disorder no it's just called no oneshould believe me no one oh my god my podcast is so tragic listening to back to the baroh f good luck let us know how you get on my loveand listen like they say it just takes half the time we were together to get over themso give it another seven years 10 months and you'll be grand my sweet enjoy the fishy chipshave a good week everyone see you for the updates on it oh my god sorry you have wanted us tolisten to this podcast because the names of the episodes are so depressing but also likeI can't believe that we just recommend it for this sweet person who's going through a breakup
57:48listen to a podcast about win-win-win fictional disorder I think it's important to listen to peoplewhose lives are worse than yours.Oh my God. That's why we have so many listeners. That's whywe have so many listeners. Helensay goodbye. Goodbye.Goodbye. See you next week.Bye. Bye. Bye.Hello, executive producers in that lounge there.
58:08Thank you so much for joining us, Guy Goodman, Simon,Moore, Annie Tonner, Stephanie Catracha, Oliver Dago, Anthony Connoe,Neil Redmond, Madeline, Quinn, Grace O'Reilly and Lily.Thank you all so much. And thank you for our producers.I will be doing this all in one.and Northern accentL, RichardBold, Howard Van Dyke, Tim and Dom
58:28David Walker, Rachel R, Sadie Cash,Clare, Owen Jones, Jess and Nick, Sarah,Molly, Ria, Fink, Cordelia, Rachel Page, Helen Aitina,Lindsay Graham, Marsh, Amy O'Riddin, Abby Ward,Matt Sims, Luke, Matt Sims, Luke, Luke, Luke,Luke, Kate, Spencer, Tristan, Liz, Liz,Tass, Anthony, Clove, Becky Foxstein,Michael, Microsoft, each other,
58:42scary, those.Charlie A, KC, Jam, Bird,Nathan Smith, Amanda McCall,Tamson Smith Harding, Hannah J, Israerigan,Bren. Two breaths, but still not bad.Pretty fucking good, actually.I actually, you didn't drop the accents.Thank you so much.
59:01I really, a lot of respect for that, actually. Huge.
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