Ep153. JOHN TOTHILL / Dublin, Delays & Debauchery
00:00Feel good about Back to School with help from Whole Foods Market.Thanks to their high standards, you can keep banned food ingredients like high fructose corn syrup out of lunchboxes all year.Check out Whole Foods Market unmatched selection of allergen-friendly options for all kinds of special diets.Find what you need without dairy, gluten, nuts, or whatever you're trying to avoid.Get back to school ready at Whole Foods Market, in store, and online.You buy a pair of socks, that's two socks.You buy a pair of Bomba socks, that's four socks.Because one purchased is one donated.
00:33Sox are the number one most requested clothing item in homeless shelters.So when you buy a pair of super comfortable Bombas socks, you're also donating a pair.Bombas customers have powered over 150 million donations.So Bombas would like to thank you 150 million times, but we only have like 30 seconds.Go to Bombas.com and use code audio for 20% off your first purchase.That's BOMBAS.com and use code audio at checkout.Bonjour, bienvenu at Trustee Huggs.Helen, mongue croissant,
01:04now, so she is not able to participate.I adore the croissant.But consequently, it's a fringe podcast until she has finished of croissant.And also yesterday I watched the rest of Emily and Paris.And wow, that show still ship, but my God, I love it.Wow, I love it so much.It's such trash.Have you finished?
01:25No.No, it's not finished.I'm going toA croissantYeahAnd nowA momentFor favor
01:34NoIt's gottenWait did you getDid you get aOneOneAA minute
01:43YeahYeahIt's pleaseIt's finishedYeahOkayWell,Welcome
01:50I don'tI can tellThat was really goodThank youThank you very muchISo rarelyhave just like a plain quassant.
02:00Oh, I thought you met my friend.You met your croissant.No, your croissant.Oh, no, that was wonderful.That was wonderful.I should have started with that.Say,Trey-Jeante.
02:08Is that a thing?I've never heard such a heavy accentthat's not even yoursimposed on a different language.Through the fog,step forth the trusty hogs.Yeah, you're gonna give me your problemsand they will solve them
02:24or maybe they won'tand that's your problemThey'll have guestsAnd Andrew WhiteOn the techOh, it's Helen and CatherineAs the Trustee HuggsTrust the Trusty Hongs
02:42Or maybe notOh, Helen, you've had toWell actually, hello, welcome to Trusty HuggsThis is the podcast about our perfect livesWhere we answer all of your honestlyTuxy Problems, we hope you're okayBut in the meantimeMore tricky at the lives
02:55Thank you for throwing those outYes, thank you so much for coming to the lives.Wow, we thought you were giving us your all in email,but no, goodness, me in person, you have got even bigger issuesand we honestly hope you're well.It's just the Irish.That was tough, wasn't it?We did our Dublin tour show, and it was a blast.
03:11I was so glad to be in Ireland.Also, I'm feeling very Irish at the moment, but we'll get to that.More than I will be speaking Irish today.Let's just go through every language in the world today.I think that'll be so fun.Okay, good idea.We'll just like work our way through from top to bottomAnd we'll just see where we end up
03:28Okay so here's the thingTop to bottom gosh that's gonna be trickySo you work with like the languages that start with an ATop of the Alphabet as opposed to top of the worldOr top of the worldWhat is at the top of the worldI know I was likeCanadian
03:43Icelandic I guessIcelandic I don't speak thatNo either do I but I went thereOh dearYikesOkay look further downOr maybe Russian will actually be topMaybe above
03:55got anything?Da.You're going to have to do some heavy lifting.That's good that you did it.Next.Finnish.Fiatta.Fiatur.
04:10What's next?Well, I guess all the Scandies and then we're into Canada and...Nice.I love me.Greenland, which is technically Danish.Thank.It was Danish.Is it no longer?
04:25I hope not.I don't think so.Does it feel good whenever our European countries like,that are still us.I think you just meant like,I think you meant the language as Danish rather than,I thought you meant it was owned by the Danes.It is owned by the Danes.
04:38Still.Yeah.Let it go unless they want it,in which case leave it.No,they should.Unless you got to let it go.We don't know.
04:46We don't know.I think you genuinely know.I think we know.I think we know.I think we know that.But they might not.Like don't the Canadians love having the king or queen?Oh, but they took...
04:55Hello?Sorry.I'm just getting really deep into Greenland geopolitics.It's still part of Denmark, but it's not part of the EU.They had a Greenland, like, Brexit.Brexit means Brexit.But they're still part of Denmark.But they still have a self-rule government.
05:11So where they could, they took back individual power, but weren't allowed to from the Danes.Is that right?Yeah, that's what it seems like.Interesting.And also, Danish has been removed as a language, so I was wrong on that.Fascinating.So what language do they?speak. Greenland language. Um, Greenlandic. Greenlandic. Greenlandic. Wow. Can you give us a phrase in
05:33Greenlandic, please, Andrew? Greenlandic. Is a lot of like forest, turquoise. Um, aloo. Alloo. Alloo. Aaloo.Alloo. Alloo. Let us know. Listening in Greenland. We could do with a lot of education onthe matter, it seems. Oh my God. Imagine we've got a Greenlandic. Yesterday I learned thatan indigenous language dies every 40 seconds. Is it every 40 seconds or every 40 days?every 40 seconds.Maybe it was 40 days,but I think it was every 40 secondsat the end of the kneecap film.
06:00We'll get back to that anyway.Oh my God, that's awful.Yeah, it was incredibly sad.Every two weeks.For two weeks.The stat at the end of the kneecap filmwas not that.But that's fine.
06:09Maybe it's every,like,every two weeks is fucking terrible.Oh no,an indigenous language dies every 40 days.Yeah, okay, that's what I thought.Yes.Every 40 days makes way more sense than 40 seconds.
06:19Yeah, 40 seconds felt like,wow.They're all gone.Yeah.Like at the end of this,podcast it's over yeah and we're all speaking bloody english am i right here we go bloody is theword so tell me what were we going to know the reason we brought up okay no wait we don't hang onone thing at a time okay that's never been the trusty hogs well welcome to the podcast we went to
06:41Dublin we had a lovely tour show they brought us Toblerones with trusty hogs written oncrazy sick as hell thank you so much you legend you know who you are who gave me those bagsoh my god that man was awesome he brought us bags that were themed toGilmore girls filled with treats one of which was a trusty hogs a Toblerone sofucking cool I've never had a named Toblerone before it was sick it was so long it was sosick Gilmore girls coloring books hello don't mind if we do thank you very much and thenwe went out with our friends which are so gorgeous in Dublin to the mint bar in theWeston I went to Cassidy's which was great and then while we were on stage my flight was
07:21cancelled and Andrew very sweetly got me on the 7 a.m.which meant that because we stayed out until 1 a.m.I had three hours sleep.I thought I had the worst of it, but I was like, fuck, I got to the airport and it was laid by an hour and I thought, fucking hell, this has been a nightmare.Got home around 10 o'clock and I thought, well, poor old Catherine.And then, my God, not to be outdone, never to be the biggest, the smallest victim in a scenario.Sweet Helen Bear and Andrew White had a fucking awful time of it.We suffered.
07:48A much worse time.We suffered.We suffered.Catherine had landed and was back in her own bed.Yeah.whilst we and Andrew saw our first delay of the day.Oh, God, tell me, well, so your flight was meant to be at 11.It was pride before a fault.
08:01It was supposed to be at 11.20, but we...And you sent me pictures of your breakfast.Yeah, we were too smart.This is, okay, this is exactly, this is what happened from my perspective.Catherine's flight gets cancelled.Catherine and me go to have drinks with our friends.Andrew's trying to sort out the flight, so I stay outside with Andrew trying to sort out the flights,and a ginger girl starts talking to us, and I'm like, oh, God, they're everywhere here, right?
08:20Turns out is a cousin of Catherine's, but I thought she was just doing that.Irish thing of like I'm one of the cousins and it's likeof course you are because of the red hairis actually a cousin. What ishappening? It's fucking mental. We were juston the street in Dublin. Shout out to Philomena.She's the loveliest one. Also she's calledPhilomena. My grandmother was called
08:37Filmmina. That's mental.It's so Irish and itreminds me of that Judy Dentch film.Filomena. Filomena. It reallyreminds me of that. I don't know how I make that connectionin my head. Weird, eh? So we'd likeMaybe because she seems like she's been to New Yorkand that's her with Philharmonic play and then
08:53and maybe that took youand then likethere's a lot of Americansgo to New Yorkso maybe that got youback to Irelandthat must be itor is the name
09:00Filomena linkedto the Philharmonicmust beit couldn't possiblybe the filmin Irelandwhat doesPhilomena mean
09:06ohfilmwhatthere's another linkto the Irishfilm filmwe don't all sayfilm
09:13because you saw a filmI saw a filmyou saw a filmyou saw a filmthey say filmin the North Eastas wellit's charming
09:20but wedidthat and then like we went back to the hotel altogether like me katherine andrew and um i was givingit all of the fucking mouth like oh katherine's got to be up in a couple of hours and like did thatthing of like making the plan in front of katherine with andrew like do you want to just likemeet in the lobby at like 845 and then like have like a really slow breakfast at the airportwe'll send your pickie for my breakfast katherine and katherine's there being like oh yeahbut like clearly getting more and more aggravated i was just anxious that i had to get up in three
09:50hours and you were still talking to me. Oh, you were very anxious. It was so funny. And I waslike, oh, this is going to be so charming, Andrew. What a lovely morning for us to spendtogether. And, like, Catherine's there going, like, stop talking. I want to get to bed. Andbeing like, well, I'll be in my bed at this time. And it's like, who gives a fuck what you're doing?We're thriving. Yeah. We get to the airport. Andrew, never been through Dublin Airport before.Charmed. Charmed. Which part were you charmed by?The outdoor smoking area. Big fan to go into the terrace and forget I was in an airport.We loved it and the state of people in there at 8am.
10:24Oh, we worked up a good bit.We're like, oh, why don't more airports have terraces?And it's like, oh, maybe they don't because of the linguistic confusion between terrorists and terrorists.Especially the way you say, yes.We had a lot of time to work on that, yeah.Yeah, that's nice.It's important.We laugh.
10:36It feels like the only the kind of thing.Only two white people could joke about it in an airport, but okay, yes.We were giggling.Terrorists are terrorists.It's like, those are white people, yeah, go on.I like the food court.I like the Irish Tats shop.It was nice.
10:49It was all good fun.I took him to the tat shop, you know, with the, not, they don't have the carols at the airport.The equivalent in the airport, yeah, yeah.I showed him the lighters that I love, the little leprechawn with the airfold.What did you, did you go to Butler's?No.You're crazy.We went to the one, Ockette, the Marquette with all the different.
11:05You had all those hours after I told you to go to Butler's in the airport.We went, we, we had a lot of chalky on us from the hogs.There enough, that's there.And we had, oh, God, it was charming, wasn't it?It was like, it was a proper canteen breakfast, like Irish women.You send me picks, yeah?serving like like you can have four tings from the hot plates like and two toast like it was just greatbut was it with it like specific Irish yeah and Andrew went really clever because you went like
11:32eggs beans toast sausage and hash brown yeah and a hash brown had a breakfast yeah well yeah likeyeah like a normal person and I was like what did you do I was like four sausages please noyeah because I did you want to make a sausage sandwich that's the thing delicious in thetaxi when we're going to the airport I was saying like I think I really want a hot meatsandwich a hot meat sandwich with a clump of crust I'd have gone three sausages and one egg ifI'm honest no no no because then that would have been or a bacon just to like but if youhave sausages and egg right in a sandwich and I get it but it's like then where are you with the ketchupas well so egg and ketchup for me no no because that's two wets okay so I want to have the
12:20sausage with the ketchupbut turns out the sausagesand she was charmed by me she was likedo you want the well done ones and I was likeI guess like because you don't want the ones thatlike pink to the point where like you knowthe pink. I don't think those are the two optionsthat's what she said. I don't think it's rare or a well done
12:36sausage wise. I think it's been sat here long enoughwell done or it's like just freshly stuff. Oh she fuck meeither. No I'm sure she was charmed by you. Yeahno she was it she fancied me 100%she's like what mid 60s do you think? Yeah yeah she wasbrilliant.Brilliant.Oh, that's a new thing
12:52that Helen's doingby the way.She's saying brilliant a lot.Oh, it's brilliant.Brilliant.We went around the bootsand she was going,oh, that's brilliant.
12:58Yeah, I can seehow the Irish would becharmed by you.Go on.So far so English.And we had thatand we were thrivingand then we get a delay
13:08and it's like, what,30 minutes first?So it pushes it backfrom 1120 to 12, yeah.Oh my God.Andrew's honor to the second.Oh, I think it movesit back from 11,
13:1722 to 12.The first initial delay was40 minutes. And at this point, I'd like to pass you over to Andrew White, who went through possiblyevery emotion, including excitement for most of the day. Andrew, please take it away.Well, so it went push back to 12, like, fine, whatever. We'll just sit here and do some work.It's now worth getting my laptop out. And then it went from 12 to 12.30. And I'm thinking,okay, that's annoying. We might have to have a second coffee. And then it immediately jumps to1.30, like within the space of five minutes.
13:49Holy shit.I'm fine this entire time.We're now at the two-hour...Are you?Yeah, because it's like, we'll get there eventually.I also had a gig to get back to that evening.So yes, that's another factor.But this is you.
14:01You are so chill until you're absolutely panic-attacking.There's no in between.Helen's like, it's fine, yeah.There's probably just a little problem and like,I can go for a walk, I can do a bit of shopping.I actually wanted to get some work done.And then it's like the last minute to be like,I can't be here any longer.
14:19Am I predicting it right?That's literally bang on.I have three phone calls, but I justI was just like, it's okay, they'll wait.Yeah, yeah.They'll wait, yeah.Once we hit the two-hour delay mark,they have to provide you food and drink in the airport.
14:31And he's now looking excited, to be fair.Oh, wow.Yeah, he honestly looked a little sexual just then.Here we go.Voucher's incoming.How much of a voucher do you think Ryanair sent us?You've been there for two hours.It's usually some bullshit like 15 euro or something.
14:46Four euro.What?Four euro.Four euro each, yes, sorry.And I bought hell of you meant tomorrow's four euro.Myself a smoothie and had paid the 36 cents extra myself.Because God forbid Ryanair pay 36 cents.And what did you say to the person who served you?
15:01God forbid.I said exactly that.I went up and I said, oh, excuse me, do you know how I can spend my insultingly low food voucher?She said, oh yeah, I just need to scan your boarding pass.And yeah, it was awful.And then it keeps getting pushed back.And then eventually take off is...It's important to take out Ryanair's systemic.
15:19issues on some poor server at the coffee stand.Yes, yeah, yeah.Oh, she actually found him funny.She liked Andrew.Oh, that's nice.Okay, that's nice.Go on.So I think I wanted somebody, in my mind, she was representative of the airport and an authority
15:31figure.So if she laughed at me and, like, acknowledged that it was crap, then that would ease my anger.Okay, that's the bottom.We had a chat about that as well, because I wasn't as outraged as Andrew was, whichwasn't fair on him, because then he doesn't get to be, like, fully outraged.because I'm like, oh, it's fine.Like, so then he got a worker to like fulfill the role of friend,which I thought was special.
15:55You couldn't have stepped up for that?I should have done.Yeah.I missed it and I should have stepped up.Okay, go on.Then they start boarding, that's all right.Start boarding the plane.The amount of women we make Andrew hate,
16:05even though he doesn't, I've never met them.I mean, feminism.Go on.We start boarding the plane at around, well, probably about two-ish at this point.Yeah.As long as we take off in the next hour or so.I'll still make my gig.Yeah.
16:20We get on the plane, the captain comes over, mumbling.No diction.In all fairness, the captain was an absolute useless piece of shit.He really was.You said that like you were going to defend himand then you were like, in all fairness, absolutely useless pieces of shoes.He was terrible.Not a leader.
16:37That's what the Irish woman was saying.Yes, this is the thing.Once we got onto the plane, I had to take a back seatbecause I didn't think my middle class white English voicewould help the situation.And that's exactly when we needed youCharming Irish voicesThe fucking state of those ones
16:52At the front of the planeHuh?WellWe need contextWe weren't on the planeSo what happened wasWe got on the planeThe pilot goes
16:59We'll put him about two hoursAnd everyone was likeSorry whatAnd then the S2S was likeYou have to do that againSo he comes on and goesAre we just waiting forAir Traffic Control window
17:09There's lots of traffic around GatwickWe're exploring going to be sat hereFor about two hoursNoOn the planepacked inAnd it was likeA sold out flight
17:17But likeoversold in the way that there were like lots of babes and arms as well.Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.So it was full.And then we're going to wait there for two hours.Why couldn't you wait in the terminal?I know.This is what everyone was saying.
17:29Why did you get us on the plane?You know we're not going to take off.They took away the stairs as well.Yeah.He was so trapped.Is this when you start to panic?Because you get on a label to smoke either.No, I was fine.
17:41Were you okay?I was, I didn't.Helen was thriving.I was like, I had a nice couple next to me.And I was like trying to avoid.avoid the eye contact at first but there was no way she was clearly like you put your sunglasses onin the play sunglasses on headphones on being like let me just go to my mind palace yeah yeah let me justhave a nice time yeah and um but she she needed to like just like be chatting so like we had a
18:05lovely time um mainly that she was discussed at the lack of leadership and we were talking aboutpeople were being mean to the air stewardesses even though there was one air stewardess who was likenot having it from anyoneand I kind of loved her for it.She was like, I'd say 19, 20 years old or something.What?And she was like, it's not her fault, right?But everyone's going to think it's her fault.
18:27Yeah.And she was answering back, left, right and center.And then she went and hid and I fucking loved her.And the eye from next to me was like, good for her.Good for her.What kind of thing are we talking?People would be like, what the fuck are we supposed to do now?Like, when are we even going to arrive?
18:42Can you tell us it's definitely two hours?Like what we're supposed to do?And she's like, I don't.don't know either.And then people would be like, you're representative for Ryanair?She's like, no, I'm not.Wearing the Ryanair uniform just being like, I don't even know Ryanair.I've never heard of Ryanair.
18:59I loved her.I was totally charmed by her.She was probably the most honest person on the plane.She was like, we don't know if we'll ever leave.And then Andrew gets chatting to, so we're not, it's like Ryanair's, we didn't payto like pick where we see.Yeah.But we're quite close.
19:15each other so I can see Andrew when I turn around.And Andrew's next to two lovelywomen. Do you want to tell us? Sally andEleanor, yeah.Sal, to Sally and Eleanor. They now follow Trusty Hogg.They do, yes. Thank you very much.Loll, of course you were. Good for you getting followerson the play. No, he started, I heard him say, I had my headphones in, but I heard him
19:33say Helen and Catherine at one point and I was like, I'm not doing it.I'm not doing it. And then like an hour later, I was like, oh, maybe he's out of thecomedy chat now. Like, this be okay. And I like took my headphones out and Iheard, would I lie to you or Rob Bryden or something? And I was like,No, not doing it.Kath on, sunglasses up,headphones on, wow.Don't speak to me sign,
19:52personalised tent.Wow, so then did you get off two hours later?So, yeah, about just over two hours.Yeah, about two hours, 20 minutes we took off.Yeah.Far.And but towards the front of the plane,there was a real frackar.
20:05Somebody bought a bottle of vodka in Duty Freeand they cracked it open.They were the ones that were fucked next to us in the terminal.Do you remember the guy that nearly sat on my lap and was like,sorry!You're on my lap.Yeah, they were already fucked.They were like absolute, and Irish, I feel like that's important to say.
20:21Very Irish.Uh-huh.But they, um, they sort of, like, the, we were in the, like, the angry end of the plane.Right.Like, that was sort of like, a bit righteous, but trying to be, like, reasonable.And, like, we were all letting each other go to the, like, giving to the space, like, asking for waters, if we could, please.Yeah.And the front plane, they got out heads up, you know, the game.
20:40It was Lord of the Flies, obviously.It was, yeah.Oh, my God.He's going to call it Lord of the Flies.It does, that.of it like if somebody's opening vodka at like 2pm it went feral in the front section the womannext to me was like well thank god we're not up there i wish you would stop doing the accentokay that was the last one that was the last one either do it well or don't do it at all and i don't
20:59seem like the first is an option but the only way i can get it well is to practice i don't think that'strue i think you could listen you could listen listen yeah maybe listen first and then practiceokay well she said the woman next to me like oh thank god we're not up there and i was likeyou're bloody telling meI wouldn't like it up there eitherbut then I got interestedso I did go up and have a littlelook at the game for a bit
21:19but umYou went to go up and have it likeJust a little look and a little oneSo that makes it sound like youFor in my head for some reasonThe vision was likeYou know when people make hens fightOr like chickens
21:29What is that cock fighting?Thank you I was likeHens chickens, cocksJesusWow I'm gayI was like what is the onethat they make fightcock fighting where you're like up
21:39gambling on itWhat do you mean you went up to have a watch?I just like just you knowI was standing up for a bitjust having a little look around.People weren't standing aroundand making bets or anything.And then,
21:47no, I don't think so.I just wanted to stretch my legsbecause it's very tight on Ryanair.So my knees were like in the feet in frontlike they're constantly like making contactand like being squished.So what time were you meant to get home?We were meant to get back at 1240.
22:04What time did you get home?We landed just before seven.Yeah, I got home about eight.Yeah.Oh my God, I should have sent you a picture of my dinner.I missed my weekend in show.It was awful.Andrew lost money.
22:18I didn't lose anything.But, but, but, it was awful.It was, I missed those phone calls.Which I'm going to be coming in right now as we just saw, which I will be ignoring.Oh, bless.Until later today.But, um, yeah, it was, it was chaos, wasn't it?It really was.
22:34Yeah, it was, it was interesting to see people go through like stages of grief and like,the approach of just craziness and anger.Yeah.Uh, the woman next to me at one point.So when we got in, they were like, we can't do the trolley service.They were great, those two women.Because we can't turn on the card machines until half an hour after the doors closed.And everyone's like, card machines, I'll beg your fucking pardon.
22:55Yeah, why would we be buying the stuff?Is that what you mean?Yeah, exactly.It meant to be providing us for food and drinks.So everyone's like, oh, can I spend my vouchers?And they're like, no, they're just for in the terminal.Fuck off!And then the woman next to me goes.
23:09So if we order a water, you have to pay for it.and the woman goes, yeah, and she goes, I'd like a water, but I'm not going to pay for it.And she goes.She took it and then said, I'm not going to pay for it.No, no.She says, she says, I can pour you a glass from my own personal water.So she goes and pours a glass of water for this woman.It was just, it was all, that was one of the bleakest moments.
23:29Another woman did get a free water at one point.Did you know if you thought it was during, like, the two hours we were sitting in the tarmac.What the fuck is wrong was mine?And then her daughter started crying.It was awful.And I did buy a tea.Yeah.Did you?
23:41When they came around with a trolley when we were in the air,I was like,because we didn't have any lunch with us or anything, right?Because we got on the planeand I was like,oh,like we'll be taking off.So we had like no food.
23:52But in the terminal.What was it on if you'd take it and said,no,I'm not going to pay?Nothing.Yeah.Yeah.They were just nightmares.
23:59And also like they've only got like one crap sandwich.So it was like,it was just like at one point in the terminal as well,Andrew went to get a drink and I was like,oh, can I have a packet of crisps?And when he handed them to me,He went, mark my words, Helen Bauer.Ryanair will be paying for these Chris.
24:14Because this is like post voucher.Oh, that's so sexy.And then Andrew starts furiously messaging me because he is on, what were you, like,eighth email draft by the time we took off.I was in a note sap just sort of working out.So he is figuring out how to get full compensation, right?Yes, Andrew.Andrew, any updates on the saga?
24:34So you can't, if you go onto the Ryanair website and try and claim compensation,it says they're still under investigation.My loves, I do think we've gotten into the weeds of this nowand I'd say the point is that we were latebut if we go through your actual compensation claimI think the listener might have at this pointturned off the podcast.Andrew.
24:50I'm sorry.I'm not, Andy.I know Andy.This is an actual subject.It's fair.I said to you, I said to Helen in the airportlike I'd love to like a Joe Lysick consumer showbut it would just be very boring
25:04because it would just be me just reading out litigationlike very dryly.Yeah.Although I did give one tip.which I like to share,which is whenever I do compose an email draft about for conversation,parking tickets,deposit disputes,
25:17anything.What I'll always do is I'll always include an insane line,like a line that is like what mad person has written this.So they know that I'm not to be fucked with.They're good as well.They're like reasonable insane.For example,we couldn't get my friend Danica and Joe,
25:33they couldn't get their deposit back on their Edinburgh flat.And I drafted them an email talking about the fact that the door key was broken.and you had to turn itin an obscenelylarge number of timesand it worksthey got their deposit backyes Andrew
25:47a well donepresenting is mental enoughthat people aren't going to get involvedwow people are just likeit's not worth ityeah yeah yeahwow this person has time on their handsI think that's what I really suggest
25:57is to me is they've got time on their handsin a way that I don't have time on my handsso it's just finefine fine my fine may I say thisthe reason I'm feeling so Irishis that yesterday I went to the cinemafor the first time in agesand I went during the day of a Sunday
26:13215 if you don't mindI remember because you text me sayingI'll message you when I get out of 5It was absolutely lostAnd I sawThe best film I've seen in years maybeKneecapYes
26:27And first of allI am going to do a littlePSAIf you're an English personDon't ask an Irish personIf they've heard of kneecapThe answer is yesIf you've heard of kneecap
26:38I swear to youthey heard of them five years ago but um they're a irish-speaking rap group hip-hop group and they are likea i guess you would say they're like a nationalist uh voice and they are a they're a three-man bandand this film is about their make the making of them and it is fucking brilliant also it'snon-fiction no it's a fictionalized version offact but they play themselves which when you watch it you're like I just like I knew it wasthem because I've seen the band but like I think it would be credible to be like these haveto be actors like they're so so talented also it was hilarious brilliant informative and like
27:27very very very comprehensive and smart and also just like beautifully made and also I don't knowTG Cahar is this channel that makes all the Irish television shows and they made thisfilm and it was solovely being in an English cinemawatching a TG camera production with peoplespeaking Osweilga, rapping Osweilgaand it has suchlike I find it so emotional
27:51like I was likeso it's so nice because Ellen's learning Irishso we spoke Irish all the way homestop oh my God she's learning to like thatlevel yeah she's really goodshe's a genius she's really good she's got a reallygood ear and we're not bothering aboutwritten we're just doing conversation
28:06and it's like it's helping so much but it wasso nice that she already was doing that. I don't know, I felt like I really needed to speak Irishafter it. Yeah. And it was so lovely. And it's just such a beautiful film and it's not anythingthat I expected it to be or anything I think you would expect it to be. And I can't recommend it enoughif it's still in the cinema near you to go see it. It's just gorgeous. I said no to going withSnell and Nathan. I just realized they went to the picture house a month ago. But I had a gig. I was like,yeah, yeah, that's fun. But I think you can still see it and it's so good. Yeah. And I think you'd actuallylove it because it's an ode to many things but language is one of them also i didn't realize that
28:43michael vassbender's a guelgore um like irish speaker yeah and he is really really good in itum it's just the whole everyone's performances are amazing it's so cool to see so many actors who aregwellgore's actually getting to act in a big film you know what i reckon i could go this weekbecause i am it's honestly brilliant and i'll have time in the day perfectme cap okay i need to go then go that does sound beautiful it's honestlythese, and it's so funny.Yeah?It's so, so, so funny.
29:13Yes.But they are funny.Yes.Yeah.It was, I thought it was great.Should I listen to like any of their rap music before I watch it?Yeah, you should.Yeah?
29:21Is it in Irish?Most of it's in Irish.It's a mix.Like their rap.It's like, no, no, I like, I like, I like, you know, like the Welsh language.Yeah.Voice Choir, male voice choir, their version of You Raise Me Up.Right.
29:33Yes.This is not that.No, but it's like, you know, like a language if you don't understand it at all, but you'rethis is mainly rap by the same.drugs drugs yeah drugs drugs drugs drugs my goodness katherine yeah also they're all like toare they also this is a beautiful story arc about a moon thor a teacher who um i don't want to give it awaywait teachers moonthal moon tour moon tour that's large but i just think oh my god it's just it's sofucking funny and good and like cartoonish and brilliant i can't talk i can't speak highly enough of it
30:04and also the sweet popcorn at theCastle Cinema in Hackney,I believe to potentially bethe best sweet popcorn on theUK market. Okay, you had a big Sunday.This feels like a lot of great things happening.They're borderline caramelised. That's how goodthey are. It's like,
30:23I don't know if they're using brown sugaror what's going on. It's astoundingly good.I became a member on the spot.Which was actually worth it because it's actually cheaper to becomethe point is, I don't need to sell you on it.Wow, wow, wow. That's abig weekend. Yeah. I never getpopcorn at the cinema, I should.
30:40How do you resist it with that smell?I'm like, oh, it sucks because that doesn't exist anymore.I got, I want a cinema.I could not sit in the smell of popcorn.That's like to me going to the supermarket.You know those supermarkets that smell exclusively of bread?Yes, Liddle.And going in just getting literal.
30:56It's like what?You have to at least buy food.Like, surely you're hungry now.Or go smell.Like put your head in it, you know, for a bit.What?Like, you know, the baking.Are people doing that?
31:04No, Liddle.You've got like the bakery and you just like lift up the lid and get that waft of itbut you're not putting your nose nearest not too near not near enough for it to be a healthhazard but near enough for helen to like get a little like you know like a what so what's the firstlike like like um i don't like you know when you um you're a roller coaster and it goes down reallyfast and you get that funny feeling and you're in your tummy you're clit and you no only my tummy no butlike a little i should never try and finish your sentences i'm so sorry like a little bit a little bitlike it's tummy but it's like you know like i don't have the same reaction to rather
31:38It's like, tell me down.No, but it's like a, like, you know what I mean?I would should stop winking at me.We have exactly, we have exactly opposite reactions to this.You know, when you're like, you know, when you're like,please stop winking.How are you not getting tired in that eye?You know, when you're like,
31:52I don't know that I was having the queer awakening to oranges the new black as you werebecause I was in my mid to late 20s and kind of had figured it out.Remember the first time that you, um, when you got like a Nokia 33-10 and you foundthe vibrate setting.Gosh, you're a complicated one, did you?Hello?But also, it's so easy to get you off, it seems.Yeah, yeah.
32:13Yeah.Again, the winking means nothing that I wish you'd stop.Surely you're hurting your eye.At this point, you've got...Is there a Twitch? Are you all right?Anyway, kneecap.Go see it.Touching a hauling.
32:24It's beautiful.And...You know what?I had a similar experience at the cinema.In O'era, seriously.A pride of the country that your family are fromand, like, the pride of the language.Did you see Lee?
32:37I saw Lee.Fuck!I saw leave.Christ.Obviously, like, not the easiest watch as someone with German Heritage, but we...I went.And it's brilliant.That's what I'll say.
32:53Is she gorgeous enough?She's so good, Catherine.Yeah, the poster is astounding.She looks sorry to say it, but, like, she's so fit.It is amazing.There's a lot of good stuff in the cinema at the moment.Yeah, that one with Demi Moore that's coming out, the, what's the substance or somethingthat looks amazing?
33:07I don't even know.I just seen her doing loads of press.I believe it's gory, but it looks so gory.The ad is like, fucking hell.You know what, you and Ellen are going to come around mine for a movie.Yeah.Maybe we should do like a cinema night instead.I'd love that.
33:23Let's go see that.Let's go see like a gory film.Yeah, I'd love that.That'll be so fun.That would be nice.Let's all do that.Yeah.Okay, great.
33:30I think, yeah, that looks brutal.Lee is brutal as well.It is fucking, like, is.I think it's like most Kate Winslet films, like, it's just, it's a lot.What nice if you stop halfway through.Yeah.I love Andy Sandberg.Yeah.
33:43Thank you, Andrew.That was good stuff to be fair.That lovely film about the boatwhere she gets naked to the end.Just leave the cinema.Nice.Did you see that video of the,is it like a drag artist doing an impression of people
34:00coming out of Titanic in 1997?No.Oh my God.It's, I think I must have watched it a million times.I sent it.to my friendNot meAnd it
34:11You're not one of myTitanic friendsI thought you're gonna be likeYou're not one of my friendsWhy don't we share itOn the trusty hog storyYeah we'll send me the InstagramEllen I put it on our story
34:21That's so funny that you were going to play itLike as if people would be able to tellA very visual medium of dragYeahAnd indeed videoAndrewListen to this lip syncYeah
34:31It is lip syncAnd also likeA lot of it is visualHelen is an actual lip syncAnd you were going to play iton the pot. I can't with you.I can't. Were you 80 years old? MyGod. That was really fair. That was crazy
34:44of you, my sweet love. But we go to, we watch filmsand we're very educated. Can I just say, I just gotthe most adorable text from our guest that readsGo on. Humiliated to sayI'm 10 minutes early.And I think everybody speaks to the beautiful manwe're ready to have on the podcast. Oh my God, shouldwe just bring him on? We absolutely should. Yeah, we must.
35:02Let's go get him. Please welcome to the podcast. It's thetremendous John Tot Hill.Feel good about Back to School with help from Whole Foods Market.Thanks to their high standards, you can keep banned food ingredients like high-fructose corn syrup out of lunchboxes all year.Check out Whole Foods Market unmatched selection of allergen-friendly options for all kinds of special diets.Find what you need without dairy, gluten, nuts, or whatever you're trying to avoid.Get back to school ready at Whole Foods Market.store and online.
35:40Bombas makes the most comfortable socks, underwear, and t-shirts.Warning, bombas are so absurdly comfortable you may throw out all your other clothes.Sorry, do we legally have to say that?No, this is just how I talk, and I really love my bombus.They do feel that good, and they do good, too.One item purchased equals one item donated.To feel good and do good, go to bombus.com and use code audio for 20% off your first purchase.That's BOMBAS.com and use code audio at checkout.
36:08It's John Toadhu.Oh, that felt like you were going to introduce a wrestler.How are you, John?I'm really good.I'm shaking with excitement.I'm a huge fan of the podcast.Helen, we met truly last week officially.Literally.
36:26It's huge for the culture.Wait.You had not met before.Not even one time.Never.Not even as a joke.How is that possible?I know.
36:34It's crazy.I've been following you online.I've been parasocally following you online.We've been following you online.We've never met.We've never gicked together.Keskel a fuck.I'm so, I'm embarrassed about,
36:44because I was so nervous when I met youbecause famous of you were in a green room.Yes, we did.So nervous.And your listeners deserve to note,the presence of Helen Bauer in a green roomis beautiful.It's the nice thing.
36:53That's an interesting take.Yeah, no, I'm nervous.No, but no, truly, love.But I didn't feel,you became nervous after.I remember seeing you just before you're setand you were like, I'm now nervous.Yeah.
37:03It was because it was a TV thing.It was like, what, a four-hour green room?Yeah.It was such a long green room.Anxious, horrified comedian.All of us like, I was so nervous.And also, I feel antisocial in those moments because you can't, you just, but inpeople are talking to you, but all you're hearing is, I wonder if I'll sweat through the shirt
37:19that I brought.Why would I stink to wear that color?Do I even remember my set?Is anything I've ever written funny?Gosh, this is going to be emotionalized forever on the television.Exactly.And also running lines in my head.Someone coming up to me, one of the comedies came up to me and started making polite conversation.
37:33I was fuming because I was like, can't you see it in my head I'm running my lines?Yeah.It's like, no, actually, you saw me actually quite quietly sitting in the,corner looking so upset.It's like the decent thing to do is to come over and say hello to me.Helen Bauer comes into the green room.Immediately everyone's at ease.It's insane.
37:47I reckon we should get perspectives of everyone else.Put to office style, no one.People started crying.I can't even tell you it was like to the point where it was, there was a marked changebecause you were late.That's obviously fine.I was like 40.I'd approved it.
38:06I'd approved it.I approved it.Were you the most?actually 15 minutes early for my late call time that was a pre-approved because I wasthe most experienced comic in the room is that what was happening no we'd all done it before butI mean had you been going the longest no you may have really no in my head I was like herecomes the elder statesman of comedy I was like here she's shut there she's smashing itand it was like I was with like alice abackett king and with um emmanuel sonobie george
38:33was there George Lewis George Lewis was there yeah yeah but then and we were all sat theremaking polite conversation with each other, lovely boys, on the record, lovely boys.We talked about magic.But no one's giving mumsy to the nervous energy vibes.Exactly.And Helen comes in and she, and her opening gambit is, so what was everyone's childhood hobbies?And I'm like, and in that moment, it's like, that's actually exactly what I needed.And it's what, and it's what, and it's what, and it's huge and I could have cried.
38:57What was yours?What was yours?Clarenet.As a hobby, you'd have said.No, actually, thank you.Not as a hobby, as a fashion project.And as a potential career.Really?
39:05I think the question was, my hobby was my A levels.Yeah, you don't.It seemed like a hobby's guy.No, like, seriously.All or nothing, kind of, honestly.The question was, what was your fang?Like, what was your fang?You said fang.
39:17Like, what was your, like, what was the beat?Like, what was the fang?You said fang, the fang, bang, bang.And then we got emotional because it was like,what?Alastair Beckett King was like, oh, I did magic.I loved magic.And then George was obviously, like, football.
39:29He was just like on the football team football boy.And then John was obviously like a little clarinet dweeb.And I was like, isn't it beautiful?No, he said dweb.many, I said it, you were crying at that point.And I was like, isn't that beautiful that all of these people, like, they would have been beatenup by one of them and now they're all just here nervous together and I thought that was sucha lovely thing.
39:51That is a lovely thing.It was suddenly, it was like, well, this is now the most moving conversation I've had in my adult life.It was very, it was in a green room.Extraordinary, unbelievable.And then you killed it.I enjoyed that so much.Yay.Thank God.
40:04And then, because I was on first, I could enjoy the rest of the night.Yeah, so by the time you'd.decompressed, I was like,I get nervous, like the person before me goes on.Yeah.Also, can we say, John Tottle,if anybody deserved a nice gig post-Edinburgh, twas yourself,for, you went to the Edinburgh Fringe Comedy Festival
40:21with your second show, entitled.Thank God this lasts forever.And I have heard nothing but the greatest praise about this showbecause my sweet partner, Ellen, was doing a little bit of work on itand would come into the bedroom and be like,the following 12 things are the funniest thingsI've ever heard said out loud by a personand I was like, wicked, I'm also starting my show in 2.8.50
40:44to just chill out.Yeah, and she was just so abusive about it.And then we got to the festivaland I'm so excited to see you.And then?Then, yeah, I got very sick.You really got very sick.I got very sick.
40:58Tell the list of because they don't know.So I, so the actual timeline of it wasafter, I think I did four shows.Yeah.And then on the fifth day, I had, like, very bad stomach pains.I thought I was constipated.It happens.It does happen.
41:12Although it does happen at the Edinburgh frame.It's usually the other way around.It really is often the other way around.And actually, weirdly, this Edinburgh, because last Edinburgh was like a sort of, was a write-offin terms of debauchery.I was just a shocking, drinking every day as hell.Yes.It was your first show, right?
41:24For a show.Can you say debauchery again?Diborchery.Charming.Isn't it lovely?Yeah.I'll say it on every podcast.I say every five minutes.
41:31But, like, truly, I was being so well behaved.In fact, those four days, I was like, I was one of the healthiest periods of my life.Suddenly felt so sick.It's mad that one of the healthiest periods of your life could be four days long.Yeah, of course.That is a lot of debauchery, isn't it, John?Go on.For four days, I behave like a monk.
41:52I don't know why I'm not.A goddess yet.Go on.Go on.And then on the fifth day, it's biblical, isn't it?And on the fifth day, suddenly so much pain had to cancel the show that night.went actually to A&E that night,but it was like a six-hour wait
42:07and after about three hours,I was like, imagine if I'm just constipated,how embarrassing that would be.So then I took myself home again.It's very embarrassing.Let me tell you that much.It's that really embarrassing.And then also I was talking to,
42:17I phoned 111, and I was like,I'm in a lot of pain and they were like,yeah, like constipation is really painful.But, well, I phoned one-on-onebecause I'm not registered with a GP in Edinburgh,obviously.Right, of course.So it was between 111, A and E or nothing.
42:29Fine.And so then I was like,it has to be the hospital or 11-1-1.phoned up one-one-one they were like constipation's really painful you're going to be fine after likethree I then cancelled two shows and then on the third day I remember phoning up my mum and havinglike how bad is the pain and I remember like I would like I want to die like I would like I would like if someonecame and shot me I'd be like that is actually merciful oh gosh John and then like a war horse like ahorse in war because when they're in no I got it yeah yeah in world war one they'd have horses going in the
43:02trenches, right? Member, member, member. And they'd shoot them. That's not the only context in whichhorses are shot. Most horses end up shot in the modern world. Of course they do. You don't leave a horseto die of old age, do you? And so it's not useful, you shoot it. Put out to pasture. Yeah.No, no, no, you don't put it out to pasture, you shoot it. What's putting out to pasture?You think, so are you saying that most horses are shot? Sorry, Andrew, are you getting involved in the podcast.What do you feel like? That's such a wild claim that most horses end up shot in the modern world. I think most, all, all work horsesend up shot, right?Oh, no!
43:34Really?John...I'm almost certainly wrong,but I'm doubling down.You really are doubling down.I love your confidence.And I want them shot.Do we feel that energy
43:44that I'm bringing in?I want them shot.No, but to really...Good Lord.No, I don't know, but let's...Andrew, could you find that outfor us, my sweet love?How many horses are shot
43:54each year in Britain alone?How do we get that?It feels like race horseswould also be put down, doesn't it?Surely?But surely a vet doesn't put them downby gone?No, absolutely fair play.
44:04Obviously, you don't shoot them.Do you know what I just thought like, yeah, I would have reckoned like some sort of...Just stop feeding them.Wow.Isn't it an important time to say that once John was a teacher?No oats, no sugar, no eggs.No apples for you.Oh, no apples.
44:23I know.I don't even like horses.It's really, it's quite the feat to tell this story and not come out the victim.Not to come out as an.empathetic character. It's like actually wow, wow, wow. And also, I think really remarkable thatyou did call your mother because no one else is going to tell if you're ill, because you are this pale allthe time. Yes. And I understand. I have real empathy for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because no one's everlike, like, you're pale. I'm always like, don't you think I'm pale? And people are like, uh-huh. Yeah,
44:49you're like, well, your face looks grey. And it's like, yes. Uh-huh. Good morning. Yeah.Please tell me, see, you go back to A&E. You must do. I was like, I want to die. And my mom was like,you say that when you lose your phone. She's like, you're not a,reliable narrator of your own pain.Oh my God, John.Right?Well, what is your mom's name?She's Anne.
45:08Anne is savage.I've got an Anne.Have you?Yeah, yeah, yeah.So nice.Imagine to find out we're related now.I see John as your mother's son.I could see that.
45:21I could see that.She ran a drama school from her own living room.God, that's nice.Do you know what I'm saying?That explains her.Yeah.So your name.Now, in severe pain, you've already been to any once,
45:34but you left off the three hours.Yes, out of embarrassment.Your mom's like, you seem a little dramatic.Yeah.And also, to be absolutely clear, like, my mum is right.Yeah.Like, I'm not a reliable narrator of my own pain.And that was a lot of all of these,
45:47a lot of all these problems stemmed from.I do not have a high pain threshold.I have, I think, an average pain threshold,but I am so dramatic.It's so tempting, though.I even went to, no, no, no, we must.What's happened?You said I have an average pain threshold
46:00and we both went to sort of pinch you,just to think, but we're not supposed to do that.But then I said that would be not sensible,but Helen Wentford. Go on.That's so interesting that was your mutual instinct.We like pain.That's good, it's good.But you know how like when you go to hospital,
46:16they ask you to rank your pain between one and ten,which I realize now is not,is actually more about so that they can get a senseof how much your pain is changing.It's not really that they think you can objectively measure your own pain.But they think that you can tracewhether you go from a five to an eight or whatever,and that's interesting to that.
46:32it's interesting to them.They're fascinated by me.They're obsessed with me.But then Ibut I wanted to say it's a 10but I was like it's a 5but that's becauseyou know what it's like
46:45you don't wantBut also you don't know what a 10 isExactly.I'm like well I'm not actually being shotAm I?No noAnd also you're like awarePeople are like giving birth
46:54in the other roomRight?Like there's a car crash downstairsYou don't want to be likeIn fact that's my mum was likeWell you've never had a periodAnd I was like that is trueI actually haven't
47:01obsessed with Anne for bringing me to the conversation.She's like, you're not a reliable narrative.You have never had the pain that I felt.The day you were bored, now that was a 10.Okay, Anne, Jesus.Truly, truly, truly.And anyway, to cut a long story even longer,after the third day of pain,
47:20the pain started, it went away.And I was like, okay, well, this is amazing.It's gone.I can get back on stage.I hadn't pooed.Okay.So, like, by this point,I'm now, like, over a week without proper pain.
47:31Oh, that's too long.Wait, you've given yourself constipation psychosomatically, or that's a consequence of whatis going on?That's right.It's a natural side effect of what happens.Because I then went back on stage, say it with me, five times.Five times.Feeling really, really unwell, but not in physical pain, but just like with a high fever.
47:48In that way that for an hour a day, you can time pain relief just about enough.You're really determined to do it.You can.So worried about losing money, all the, yeah, all the usual stuff.Of course, bleeding money at the friend having canceled all these shows.It was like hundreds of pounds a night coming out.I just need to keep doing this.Yeah.
48:00And then.it got to my day off, which was like halfway through the run,and I was still feeling really bad,and my temperature had got very, very high.And so I went back to the A&E, and I was like,okay, I'm promising myself that I'm going to stay hereuntil I'm seen by someone.They took my blood, so they were like, yeah, you're not,
48:14this isn't constipation, like there's an inflammation going on.And they were like, we're going to scan you for appendicitisto make sure that it isn't that, but it won't be that,because if it had been that, you'd be dead by now.So I was like, okay, fine.Do we see the dramatic irony in this?Yes, we're cooking with this.And so I went in for this
48:32It was it called a CT scanHave you ever had one?Sure, yes probablyIt's the one where like you go into the tubeYes, okay, yesSo funI thought so tooPeople are always like
48:44Oh my god I get to a cross aerobicI immediatelyI'm having a great timeand then fall asleep from excitementYeah, so nice actuallyFinally a climate that I can controlYes, oh my GodYeah
48:53And warmSo as they put all those waves through youIt becomes very very warmOh my GodOh when they put the liquid in youthat like makes you feel like you've pissed yourself but also I've never been in one of theseI don't think I've been in one of these what did I go in an MRI scan oh yeah you're in there for a whilearen't you this was quicker I think and anyway they came back and they they were like the surgeons
49:14came back with a big smile on their face in that way that's not unappealing way that doctorscan be like you know sort of like we've got something fun to tell you and they were like they werelike your appendix has not just like it hasn't just like burst it has their words are obliteratedThey were like, it's fallen apart, and you're going into septic shock.And they were like, you're...Why are they smiling, John?Because I think it's just nice for them to see something different in their days.And they were like, this is a really unusual case.
49:41That's a fun way of putting it.And it was nice to be treated.That's psychotic to say that to you.Like, pre-adjust your face before you talk to the patient.No, but I love it.I'm sure that's how they do behave to everybody.I'm sure they weren't tailoring it to me.But by coincidence, I was loving it.
49:57Okay, great.And it was nice to be treated.It was nice to be treated.as traditionally masculine.They were like,your pain thresholdmust be so high.And I was like,
50:04yeah, I guess it must be.I guess I have been to war.Could you please possibly record thatfor my mom?My mother.Also, so sad.My mum, who by this pointis obviously a picture of guilt
50:13immediately on the,she gets the overnight coachup to Edinburgh.She can't take the train.She's like,it's too much money,we're not doing that.So she is, once again,
50:22quite weird.But then overnight coachby the time I wake upfor my surgerybecause they have to go inand like,So the surgery now is no longer the keyhole surgery,which you get from the usual appendix operation,
50:34because they have to open me right up and scrape me out.It's open in a similar way to, like,they were like, it's similar to a caesarian.Oh, what's that?I've never had a period, but I've had a motherfuckincerian.I seem to have had a kind of...Checkmate, bitch.I've had a sort of hysterical cesarean.
50:55Yeah, yeah.When it's so true, was it just bits of appendix just like,chilling in the whole tour song.And after, when I woke up, when I woke up,I would say there are two things that I would tell you about waking up.The first thing was the surgeon said,the surgeon said, yeah, when we opened you up,we were all a bit like yikes, is what you said.
51:14And he actually said you were, you were very close to,if not death, like a very serious complication.Like, I see you kind of vibe.To be clear, it was actually not that frighteningbecause I found this out after it had all been a success.They've been like, everything's going to be fine.You're going to have a long recovery period.You will be fine.
51:30But you really did nearly die.So it actually wasn't, it was weirdly not that shocking.It was more like, it was actually strangely thrilling.It was like, wow, I'm like, I'm alive.This is how many weeks ago now?This is now, I guess, four or five, five weeks ago.And are you still in recovery period?Technically, yes, but I feel completely fine.
51:46Yeah.I'm definitely recovered.Is this you saying it's a five?It's, no, it's genuinely very occasioning I get these weird like twinges as my like,bowels realign themselves.Yes, sure.But I am really fine.Absolutely fine.
52:00And the second thing about waking up,you want to tell.Helen.Helen.Hellen.Hellen.Helen,Helen,
52:10multiple times a day on this podcast,you do something disgusting,but this wasn't his fault.I don't have to realign my bowels.Sorry,that's disgusting.Also, that's my term.That's my term.
52:19That's not a medical thing.Can I ask one medical question?I think you need to.Go on.So when you went to surgery,you were arguably like full of shit as well, right?Absolutely.Do they, do they like,
52:30open the bowel and just pull it out just to like get it done with.They don't do a little quick colonoscopy.Well, they've got to get something.I mean, imagine pushing a poo out after you've had a surgery.That can't be easy.So do they just like, do they like dig it out?It's a, it's a very perceptive question.Thank you.
52:46The process.I like, I like the way you're thinking.Because while you're in the area, it's like going to Australia and not nip into New Zealand.Well, I, um, I, um, I,was for the period ofI would say five days afterthe surgeryI didn't stop pooing
53:07the backlog was extraordinaryit was like checking your emails after a holidaywrite that downthat was goodI know I knew you thoughtit was good because you did a little giggle as yousaid it you were like it was like checking your emailsit wasn't
53:25it wasif you can't enjoy it onethe hell would you say it. And it was enjoyable because these, let me tell you, these schools werewell formed. Yeah. Oh gosh. These were a star. May I say? You're allowed to tell us, but I thinkI've had enough information on that front. And my second, that's a nice bit of balance. You've gotwhat you need to know, but I'm good on this. There's a boundary. Yes, and we did go past it,but we'll just leave it there. The second thing you wanted to tell us about waking up was.Well, the other thing was, so I'd never had a general anesthetic before. I've never, I've never
53:54had one. So, you know how you're told that you will be confused.When you wait, when you first wake up a little bit,as the Anastasia, Anastasia?Like a sort of Russian princess.Once upon a December,April death.I'm assuming that's one of the film, but I don't know.It's so sweet to finally be treated as traditionally masculine.
54:16You'd be like, is Anastasia gone?She smelled like peppermint oil.Okay, when the anesthetic war's all.Worsal?Wow, we've all forgotten to speak.When the anesthetic wears off,you're told that you'll be a bit confusedand I remember coming to
54:32and being confused about where I wasand turning to the nurses and being likeshould have a glass of wine or something?But what annoyed me about that in retrospectis that is not authentic confusion.Do you think? I was like, that is mewaking up, not knowing where I amand I'm not being like, oh, I think I'm in the bar
54:52and being like, I don't know where I amso I'm just quickly to do a bit. Hell, don't you think?Oh my gosh, yeah.Even in the moments of coming up,too. It's like, my stand-up persona has, like, leaked into my subconscious thought.Yeah, that's dark. Do you know what I mean?That's social anxiety. That's not a stand-up persona.That's not. Someone anxious being like, fill the space, fill the space.
55:10Completely. To be like, oh, like to wake up from operation, be like, well, I suppose it falls to me.Socially babysit this room. I'll bring the room together. I'll make a laugh.What the, what the hell? You know, it's ridiculous. And so then... I like to think it wasactually more like you being like, do you know what these girls will love?You just saw an audience and you knew what they wanted. It wasn't. I think it was actually more aboutknowing who you're playing to.And these girls have been working a long old shift.You know, and Anne's come on probably from the,
55:33on the overnight coach, you're probably subconsciously thinking.What these girls are love is this.That's nice, I think.That's a very generous reason.So was Anne there?Anne was there, I think, a few hours after I woke up, yeah.Okay.All right.
55:43It's a big Edinburgh.It was a big Edinburgh.But you, simultaneously to all of this,what I'm trying to say is you got back on stage,did more shows.Yeah.I worry in part because you basicallywill have been losing money this whole.
55:57all time.Yes.And I'm so sorry to hear it.And the reason I bring it up is John is honestly one of the most amazing new comics around.His debut show was spectacular.I lost my shit.I lost myself in that show so much that I remember I answered an audience question.You do not.
56:15You do not as a comic go to a new act's first debut show and ever, ever.But in this particular context as a comic that they probably will know, right?Because we are being on built.answered the questionthey've asked forif I may the general publicand thenabout I acted it
56:33it was he wasdoing a diatribeon how he loadsmeal prepand obviously askedif anyone did itand I was likeI eat you
56:40but it wasit's one of my favourite showsthat I'vedebuts I've ever seenand I think thatyou're just brilliantand it frustrates methat you had such a
56:48crap Edinburghpun intendedbutbutand that it was such a painin your sideactuallybut why
56:56Thank you.I love it when people should have been doubled over laughing at your show.Here we go.And then it took so much out of you.Standing avation.But I think truly...It's the old music hall stuff, isn't it?I know.
57:13Give up a little razzled out.And it's so good, but you will cringe about that later on on the train.No, I feel nothing.Honestly, I think I'm a dad at five somewhere somewhere.But what I mean to say is that you have a chance now,to take your show to other placesand people can go see itand they shouldn't name off.
57:30So you're playing so at the theatre very soon?Yes, mid-October, please buy tickets.Oh my God, I'll be there.I can't wait to see it.I'll come with you.Send me the date you're going.I think it's the 14th to the 19th of October.Oh my gosh.
57:42And then it's going on tour.I obviously can't remember where,certainly can't remember when.And I might not come.I might get someone to depth.Let's just say Instagramand then we'll just figure that out later on.No, it's sort of across,
57:51it's like between sort of like March and April.I'll go to a few.Fantastic.My birthday's and March.This could be huge.This is exciting.This is exciting.Don't do a date on my birthday.
58:02No, I won't.No, we'll do something fun together.I don't know.But my question is this.Did you manage to enjoy any of the shows thereafter?All of them.I enjoyed all of them.But did you do them still?
58:15I was sat down, yeah.Sat down in a really ugly armchair.It was fun.It added a bit more of a kind of chat show vibe.Oh, that's nice.And it was very low energy.And it lasted a really long time.We overran a hair.
58:26I think by 15 minutes reliably.Stop it.Really bad.Because I was so, I was being indulgent and I was asking the audience too many questions.And I think people, it felt, I think people felt like it was sort of like maybe my make a wish or something.Cut that out.No, I think we'll keep it, keep it, keep it's your maker wish.It felt, I think people were a bit like, let him have this.
58:44Yeah.And so we, the show became more and more indulgent.Also, like, if you're not a performer, you won't know this, but like, adrenaline does tick over when you're on stage and you do feel physically better.Like, so it's like you don't want to lose that moment because you've only.got like 20 minutes after you come off stage before like for me it's like hay fever or a cold sometimesjust like comes back in with vengeance and it's like it's nice to have that reprieve from the just likesitting there and feeling sick completely and also it was like because I timed all of the painrelief it was like the codeine was starting to wear off and I was like don't let me off this stage
59:15you know this is yeah yeah yeah you'll have to drag me off the stage um well I loved it did you go foryou did you get a cowpole bottle I got given codeine and I got given and then alsojust all the usual ones as well. The good stuff.When I was in the hostel, I was given what's called a PCA, which is a, which is patient-controlledlike morphine. So the button that you press and like, every time I was allowed more morphine,the button would light up and then I would like max it out and then as soon as I was alloweda bit more, it would flash it out and I'd be like, go. And it was just heaven. Heaven on earth.It sounds dark, but okay. It was, coming off it was sad because after three days like morphine
59:52withdrawal is quite, you feel very nauseous. Wait, what does morphine do exactly?It's a very sedative.Okay.Yeah.I was saying it's not really an upper.It actually is very numbing and it's a bit, it's a little bit miserable.It makes me quite tearful.Did you have a quiet?
01:00:07Were you like it's making me quite tearfuland your mom was like, well, you've always been a teary boy.And you've never even had a period.Do you know what in retrospective?I love Anne.It was not, it truly was not a bad experience.Like it was actually, I think retrospectively a genuinely good experience.I think I think because
01:00:26Talk us through thatI was soI was after doing the debut showI felt I don't know if you guys felt thisbut after a debut I felt likeI was half in comedy and half outI felt like I tasted the champagnewas like I'm so excited about this
01:00:40but terrified of losing my place in the sceneterrified that it was like a flash in the panand being like this I could just betrash can of historyyeahand so then like I got myself into thinkingactually it's your second show that really mattersyou know and becoming
01:00:53My God it's not because my second showwas my worst by a mile.I liked your second show.But comparatively, it was my worst.Go on.What was the name of your second show?Lemon.Indeed.
01:01:02And that question.Does that question not?No, no, but does that not say at all?I'm like, I agree with you.I wish people would forget.It was bad.Go on.And I think it's a narcissistic way of thinking.
01:01:12And I think of just being like me being like,oh, this show has to be perfect kind of thing.And I got very white knuckled about it, very worried about it.In the end, it went okay.It got good reviews for the first four days.It got amazing reviews, John.All taken away.like was actually a learning curve.
01:01:27To be like, it's okay.To be like, well, it has to be okay, doesn't it?You actually needy died now.And also, it was ridiculous and like therapy fodderto be like, why are you forcing yourselfto go on stage five more timeswhen you're in sepsis?And it's actually that is,
01:01:40you are someone who is actually quite passivein the face of suffering and you sort yourself out.And then I came back and since Edinburgh,I've been like, where are my emotional appendices?Like, where else am I putting up within my lifethat is actually like intolerableto the average personthat I have gaslit myself into thinking it's okay.
01:01:56What were they?I haven't worked out yet.Oh.You and me are going to do a little afternoon journalingand we're going to figure it out.It's journaling, it will come out of you through that.Also, what a crazy question for me to be like,tell us what they are because actually you mustn't.
01:02:10Being asked questions like that should be one of them.I will not tolerate.I mean, ask my deepest, darkest wounds on a podcast.That's what I'm here for.I don't know about that.But wow, that sounds amazing.What organ would you like to lose next?It's a good question, isn't it?
01:02:23If you have to.I wouldn't mind a soft lobotomy.A gentle one.Not one of those ones that really incapacitates you.Go on.I did not expect that.Like a nurse ratcheting.We were all kidneys.
01:02:37We were all thinking kidneys.No, but I think that's how you lose the game, isn't it?To talk about kidneys, it's like, actually, I would like two kidneys.Yeah, yeah, you're right.And I think the idea that your kidneys are optional is a mainstream really alive.I do both.Yeah, yeah.You know, I do a lot of weeds.
01:02:48I've got a very weak bladder.I need two kidneys.See, bladder is the one I'd get rid of because I'd want no bladder and thestart again with a bigger bladder because like mine replacement is a is a i'd get it removed so ican get the replacement yeah that's how i would do it a hundred percent big metal one because likethis yeah like a proper camel's bladdy yeah get get a camel cut into it take bladdy outdo not end of a catheter no i'd want a camel's bladder is what i'm asking for right yeah no andthis is a game i don't know the rules of my body my choice i'll say we didn't we didn't play this at our
01:03:22Christmas, go on.So a soft lobotomy, what do you want to lose?I think the bit of my brain that makes me,I don't know, a bit of my brain that makes me like people-pleasy,maybe, so like that like that.Imagine that if you could isolate the little bit that people-pleases.I don't think you'd be as good a comic.I think you're right.
01:03:38That is true, isn't it?I don't think you'd be as good a comic.Yeah, you're right.I think the best comics are people-pleasers.It doesn't mean that they're always,they always give the audience what they want,but I think you have to know what they want.to be able to play with this.
01:03:53Do you think that trying to stop being a peoplepleasing in real lifemeans you lose the muscleand so you can't do it on stageor do you think actually I've trained thatI think it gives you more flexibility on stage.God, that's the hope, isn't it?God, I hope so.
01:04:06I think that's what I have done and done.Do you want to message a toxic friend now live on airand tell him to fuck off and that's the...Do you have a hell of number?Don't tell me to fuck off.Oh, cry.And that's toxic.Ryan, I've got a big bladder operation coming up.
01:04:26Should we do a problem?We must, John Tottle, as you know, as a fan of the podcast, we solve problems here.Huge fan of the podcast, can't wait.Here's the thing.Here's the thing.I would like to know what kind of advice giver you are before we get into this.I'm a, I'm, I think I'm getting better at giving advice, I think.I'm in favour of bold action.
01:04:46Like, I think people are too risk of that.Is this the last four weeks?Yeah, well, I think there's something to be said for.Or, like, if you're unsure about something,you should slightly throw the cat among the pigeons in your life.Yeah.I think it's better.I don't like, because I'm guilty of being so uncertain
01:05:00that I will play out scenarios in my headwithout really taking action,come to conclusions without the evidence.Yeah.Gather the data by doing something disruptiveand then see what happens.I can tell you're bold,because instead of saying,
01:05:10I'm going to put the cat amongst pigeons,you went forth.Throw the cat amongst the pigeons.I loved it.I never thought of them.Shoot the horse.Throw the cat, shoot the horse.God's sake.
01:05:20The borderer.Great.I've run a terrible farm.It's a petting farm.It's really terrible.Lots of sad kids.Pick out that cat.19 ways to skin it, actually.
01:05:33Catherine's got a monkey on her shoulder as well.Monkey on my back.I've never heard that either.I was listening to the podcast going,monkey is fun.Thank you.Where are you from, John?Essex.
01:05:44And I enjoyed you being like,you said I pick off my shoe.Sorry, you're from Essex.You're from Essex?Yeah, yeah.It's weird, isn't it?Yeah.It is strange.
01:05:52And my family all talk,all have an Essex accent.Even my brother has an Essex accent.What are you like, John?No!That's so fun!Strange, isn't it?Did you go to the university
01:06:00that beat you out of it?I did, yeah.Yeah, there we go.That happens to a lot of people.It's awful.I don't buy it.I believe you adopted this accentabout 15 and then you chose your university
01:06:11accordingly.Get to fuck, are you blaming Cambridge for that?That's the most, like, perceptive readingI've ever.That's actually, I'm shriveled.That was like, it's witheringly true.I see you, I know you.You're right, it's like, the person changes their accent
01:06:25and like they, and they aspire for the university.There you go.You're so right, there's such a lie that...People don't change their accents at 19.They decide who they want to be at 14 to 15.And then they make, yeah,and then they make their choices beyond to go with us.It's like hats and blazers at 12.
01:06:39Do you know what I'm saying?And how were they?Were we doing bowlers?What were we doing?I was wearing, I wore a lot of very glittery suit jackets.That checks out.I would have fancied the pants on the room.I would have asked you out.
01:06:51so many times.We just get it.Me and John just get it.We get it.That is so true and I'm so gladto be called out on that. The accent went first.You're welcome.Andrew, do you have a problem for us, my love?
01:07:05Yes, I've got two problems.Should we do one now and one in the extras?Don't mind if we do. A bit of fun there.Okay, well, would you like first?Email from ex-husband or polydrama.We're going to let John choose and I'm absolutelyobsessed with both options.Oh my God.
01:07:20Should we do polydrama?Let's do polydrama. Go on.This is from R.Hi, R.Hello, you lovely hogs.I'm in desperate need of some advice.Firstly, a bit of context.I'm a little polyamorous.
01:07:33Polypocket, if you would.Fun.Power.Barwa.That was amazing.Don't you correct her until you have the fact.Gather the data.Am I right, Don't?
01:07:42My long-time best friend and their boyfriend aren't.However, we do have a running joke that we're in a thruplebecause I'm practically their relationship therapist.They have a very strong relationship.If my relationship therapist was kept joking that we were all in a throttal,I'd be like,is that what relationship therapy is.I need a new therapist.
01:07:59This is crazy.Guys, we're literally like a throuple.It's like, okay.It's 85 pounds a minute.Should you talking about?Go on.Both the boyfriend and I are trans.So there are things we understand about each other without the need to explain
01:08:12that their partner doesn't necessarily get.Oh, wait.I start a daydreaming.Go again.Are you joking?I'm sorry.Both this person and the boyfriend.of the long-term friend are trans they get each other um given the heightened transphobia in this country
01:08:28we've grown closer because of it um for the extra support uh i however lived as a gay man for 25 yearsand developed the toxic trait of falling in love with any man that is kind to me very relatableuh i now have feelings from my best mate's boyfriend i obviously don't want to betray her byalso want her boyfriend to do unspeakable things to me i guess my question is how can iswitch these feelings off.Slight update as well.This is the second email that's come in.Their relationship isn't as strong as previously mentioned.
01:08:58The bestie is going through some self-discoveryregarding their sexuality,which I 100% support.And the boyfriend doesn't know any of this,but it's safe to say the relationship is on the rocks.Okay, so they're sent in this emailand then it's updated a couple weeks laterthat the relationship that describes is on the rocks.
01:09:16So how can they position themselvesto get with the boyfriend of the best friendbut not betray the best friendis that something that's doableshould they walk away from ityes any help much appreciatedisn't it so nice the way that it took a Machiavellian turn thoughI really thought it was going to be like
01:09:37how can I accept the fact that I can't have what I wantand then it's like how can I destroyhow can I position myselfsuch that I get everything I've ever wantedwhich by the way I don't think is aI don't think that's a bad thingI actually think I admire the honesty.Yeah.
01:09:51Can I actually, I did a bridge a little bit because it's quite a long paragraph.I just want to read you a line verbatim.Not only do I want to sleep with him, but I want to keep him as a friend once their love has died.So, yeah, what to do once their love dies?It's a waiting game, surely, isn't it?You have to let time do its work and then you're sweeping in.Because if it's, if it really is, okay, wait.Oh God, that's actually so difficult, isn't it?
01:10:15The only thing that would make this acceptableis that the potential relationship between the two,the new couple, would be so incredibly goodthat you're ultimately like, you think you're like soulmates, do you think?But this person's already planning for them to just be friendsonce they've had a good fuck.Yeah.Which feels wrong, that feels wrong, isn't it?
01:10:37I personally think that you're being a bad friendand should back off and let it.do its follow its natural course because relationships often are bad and then get goodagain and but regardless of if we're on your side in and I think I love that you immediately went tohow do we get with this person what they wanted by the way that's not meant to be judgmental I've beena bad friend many times and usually it's because of my libido but I think that there is somethingto be said it was judgmental but I I just I feel like I want to caution you here becausethis is your best friend you're saying long term best friend and there are even
01:11:15is no scenario, I think, where this plays out in your favor, as you seem to understand uphaving sex with this man, where you get to keep that friendship. And not a lot of the friendshipwas mentioned in the email. And that makes me think that maybe you are on a sort of obsessivesexual track, which we all get on sometimes about a person, but then we forget the importanceof the friendship in that context. The other thing to say is, I think that regardless, if whatyou wanted to have sex with him, the most hurtful thing you could do is do it while they're in therelationship so you have to let this play out also because then he will always think of you as a personwho ruined that dynamic and wonder if it could have been fixed so you have to live its natural course
01:11:53and then if he wants it it will happen because that's the nature of breakups and alcohol existing inthe world like it'll happen if you just go for a drink if that's what he wants to but i think youhave to give their relationship a chance to fix itself and i think you really need to remember for a secondtake a breath take a pause go for a walk and remember why she's your friend too because some of thelanguage in that email like we get each other more, feels suddenly like you're in a positionwhere you're competing with your friend rather than torn over loving both of them or likingboth of them. So I would just say, take a breath and a beat is my strong feeling. And I'm sorryif that reads harshly, but I do think that's what you need to hear. As harsh as what I'm about
01:12:34to say. Friendships don't work in group of threes, even if there's two in a relationship. Itdoesn't work. That's why the Sugar Babes and Destiny Shard both famously fell apart. It was afucking nightmare out there.Busted.Hello.I know they're back on tour now,but it is tricky.So here's the thing.
01:12:50Famously successful about it.Your best friend is in a relationshipand yet you fancy the guy that she's with.Too bad.Too bad.That is their relationship.They're doing it.Yeah, it sucks when you get feelings for someone
01:13:03and they're taken and you thinkthat you'd have a better relationship.But you know what?You didn't.It's their relationship right now.And to plan for it to end,it's fucked up.And don't get me wrong.
01:13:14I've fancied people, my friends are left.I've had moments where I've been like, oh, I wish.But I would fucking never.It is none of your business.And to plan for it to end, to jump in there?No.That's so gross.I hate it.
01:13:28I hate the whole thing.I am more sympathetic.I'm more sympathetic.I just feel like if you're completely obsessed with someone,you can't do anything about it.But I think I admire the honesty of someone being like,I'm going to let this play out.I do agree.
01:13:41I do.I think it's not true.It might be that I'll never be.friends of this person ever again but if you're if that's what you if that's a risk thatyou're prepared to take then I think it's not a I don't think you should violateanyone so bad I think I think we're both for your own personal we're I think whatJohn is saying is that if it's only makes sense to him if you do potentially think youcould be soulmates yeah the trade off I can understand that happening and also that like
01:14:04you for me it's about recognizing remembering amidst all this that you are friends withthis woman and that there will be a cost to you and her in losing that friendship andNow that is an inevitable outcome here.And I do think, yes, there's a cruelty in planning it,but I do also think, yes, we can't help who we fall for.But I do think you cannot interrupt their relationship.It's unfair, and you'll never know if it would have ended.They'll never know if it would have ended.
01:14:29It will always haunt whatever happens thereafter.And I just think, like, you need to take a breathand not just listen to your sexual urge right now.Also, I think an important part of that email is,I'm a little bit polly and they're not.like they're not those are not the frameworks and the negotiation that they've had at the beginningof that relationship and whatever you feel about that isn't a fair imposition on how they navigatetheir way through or out of their relationship at the moment I just think you gotta take a beat
01:15:01and think about how you'll feel in five years especially if it is just a shag and also aboutthe other person like you that's what I mean like but the thing of like oh like if it's there you allthinking they might be your soulmate is worth the risk but you also like if they were right but likethe idea that like but you will be ruining someone's trust in people their ability to fall in love likefor an option of possible happiness for you a definite ruining and harming of someone else that theywouldn't be have to open up to someone again or make themselves be vulnerable in that way you arefucking someone over hugely shame no not shame but just not shame but just take abeat and wait at the very least i think we all agree wait this is again if you even act and also
01:15:49if it's actually that real yeah you got to wait i think you've got me around it is it's out of orderisn't it's out of order and it's made it's made me feel cruel no me always we're like thesei think we're very aligned on this yeah you are sort of a line yeah yeah i think we are i think it'sjust a no-go option i think you need to get i would say so too but i i i can see a world in whichthat's going to happen anyway but then so thenat least do it with a freaking safety belts and like a little bit of reasonable kindnessand patience in there because fuck there is no version of this where she could think you wereanything other than actively malicious if you cheat with him and there's a version of this where
01:16:28she can feel absolutely devastated by your actions if you get with him after but at least shecould fathom why you might love the person that she loves but this is or you know fancy but yikesif you do go for it you're paying for our therapy this this isn't someone being likehow can I, how can I break this couple up?It's being like, what can I, how can I navigate this?Yeah.And I feel like, I still feel it's like you could wait for,you might end up waiting for years,
01:16:51but I don't think that's,I would be surprised if they can switch off their feelings.Yeah, I, I definitely think though,there's something about the language of like,how do I position myself?Yeah, that's hell.That's a bit like, eek.It's a bit like, ooh, let's let them feel in their feelings.
01:17:06And also, we don't even know how this person feels about you,do we, the boyfriend?They've just got a connection, right?that they just get along really well.Yikes.Oh my God.I absolutely loved that problem.I'm so sorry, Polly Pocket.
01:17:18I do hope you're all right.And that is a lot.Like, it's a lot.But I also love that you wrote in that problembecause then we can like be honest, do you know?You were honest.We must be.Yeah.
01:17:29I just don't want them to feel so bad about themselvesthat they feel like hyper judged coming away from the problem.Like I think that this is, I think what,but if we do make you feel that way,this is interestingthen I promise youother people will say these thingsand she will say these things
01:17:45about you if it happensso if you're like fuck you guysfair enoughif you're like hathat has made me feel a bit likethen bear in mindthat is very much how you'll have to feelif it all happens
01:17:57and if that's worth it thenby all meansbut I say that by the wayas a person whoso much of my 30shas been likefinally feelingthe consequences of my behaviour
01:18:08in my 20sreally yeah I was sonumb, I think, to my behavior and so I followed my desire for sex so often at so many people'sexpense and felt very little. Like, I was really numb. And I think that I was, like, quite disassociativein my body and in lots of things because of lots of reasons that aren't anybody else's fault. AndI think when I got back in my body a bit in my 30s, I really felt like, fuck, ooh, Jesus. Now I'mreally feeling the guilt for things I didn't feelat the time. That is so interesting.
01:18:44And it was like a delayed response.Yeah, very much so. Andand yeah,just these things do come atyou when you sometimes don't expect it. Andlike just because you don't feel anything now doesn't necessarilymean you won't ever. And I don't, I'm not talking aboutlike societal guilt or expectation. I'm just talking about
01:19:02me personally of likeoof, that is now. Also likeI think also when I can reflect on myself asbeing a baby I can also reflect all the other people in that scenario as having been very youngtoo and like oh the cruelty of that was just like oh and I'm glad that I can feel that now actuallybecause without being too harsh on myself or like beating myself up I think it's still good to havelike understood that my actions have consequences and even if I wouldn't necessarily likeand I haven't been like hey can I apologize for this thing 10 years ago because it's like people
01:19:31leave them alone but it is good for me to I'm still waiting on there's a it's good for me to feelthat I think. That's fascinating. I feel like I'm, something I've been thinking about a lotat the moment is I'm almost in the opposite. I feel like I've spent a lot of my time doing very,very little with my life at all for fear of upsetting people. And now I'm like, I'm biased in favourof living. I'm like, well, I should, I should stop being. But that's the right way to be.Oh, yeah, there's a half my head. Yeah. You can't behave selfishly. But in a strange way,I feel like I've behaved selfishly in the past through my own paralysis. I've like kept peoplewaiting. I've like, I've, like, had a conversation with them in my head rather than having it
01:20:10in real life. And, do you know what I mean? And like, and that's caused problems. And now I'ma bit like, that's why I'm like, cat on the pigeons. I'm a bit like, there's a... Chuck in thecat. Good for you. One more problem. That's fascinating. Let's do that in the extras.Okay, please. In that case, John Tot Hill, where can people find you? On Instagram and at myhouse. Fabulous. Um, Instagram easier at John Tot Hill. Can I see my show. Yes, yes. Go see it atSo, Heather, go see it on tour.It is, honestly, there's no comic like John Tuttle.That is my favorite thing about going to see his shows.
01:20:39Nobody else is doing what he's doing.You will love it.I promise you, you will love it.Go see him.Hello, executive producers in that lounge there.Thank you so much for joining us, Guy Goodman,Simon Moore, Annie Tonner, Stephanie Catarachia,Oliver Jago, Anthony Conway,
01:20:57Neil Redmond, Madeline, Quinn, Grace, O'Reilly, and family.Thank you all so much.And thank you to our producers.I will be doing this all in one breathand Northern accentCheersL, Richard BouldHoward Van Dyke
01:21:12Tim and DomDavid WalkerRachel R Sadey Cashmore Clare Owen JonesJess and Nick SarahMolly Ryan FinkCordelia Rachel PageHelen Aitina Lindsay Graham MarshAmy O'Riddin
01:21:20Abbey Watt, Matt Sims, Luke BrightlyKate Spencer TristanLiz Ford Tass Anthony CloveBecky FoxsteinMichael Sophie ChiverSarah SpouseCharlie AKC Jamringbird
01:21:32Nathan SmithAmanda McCall, Tamson Smith Harding, Hannah J. Isra Perrigan.Bryn. Two breaths, but still not bad.Pretty fucking good, actually.I actually, you didn't drop the accent.Thank you so much.I really, a lot of respect for that, actually.Huge.
There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click any sentence in the transcript to leave one.