Trusty Hogs - Ep155. Submarines, Solicitors & Scotland

Episode Date: October 10, 2024

Helen's made a bold new Groovy Chick purchase, Catherine's trialing some new glasses, and the podcast takes a new (but not entirely unexpected) sexual direction over some initialism confusion...TOUR TICKETS: www.trustyhogs.com/tourThank you so much for listening!Support us at www.patreon.com/TrustyHogs for exclusive bonus content, merch, and more!Trust us with your own problems and questions... [e-mail] give us a follow @TrustyHogs on all socialsBe sure to subscribe and rate us (unless you don’t like these little piggies - 5 Stars only!)All links: https://audioalways.lnk.to/trustyhogsSNThank you to our Patreon supporters...EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Guy Goodman / Simon Moores / Annie Tonner / Stefanie Catracchia / Oliver Jago / Anthony Conway / Neil Redmond / Madeline Quinne / Sadie CashmorePRODUCERS: Elle / Richard Bald / Harald van Dijk / Tim & Dom / David Walker / Rachel R / Claire Owen-Jones / Jess & Nick / Sarah & Molly / Raia Fink / Cordelia / Rachel Page / Helen A / Tina Linsey / Graham Marsh / Amy O'Riordan / Abbie Worf / Matt Sims / Luke Bright / Leah / Kate Spencer / Liz Fort / Taz / Anthony / Klo / Becky Fox / Dean Michael / Sophie Chivers / Carey Seuthe / Charley A / KC / Jam Rainbird / Tamsyne Smith-Harding / Hannah J / Ezra Peregrine / BrynWith Helen Bauer (Daddy Look at Me, Live at the Apollo) & Catherine Bohart (Roast Battle, Mock the Week, 8 Out of 10 Cats)FOLLOW HELEN, CATHERINE & ANDREW...@HelenBaBauer@CatherineBohart@StandUpAndrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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we will be at the Clapham Grand on October 16th, and we would love to see you there. We've got a special surprise. Woo-hoo! Yes. Trusty hogs.com forward slash tour. Thank you, Andrew. Hello and welcome to episode 155 of trusty hogs.

My name's Helen Bauer. This is Catherine Bohart. This is a podcast. It doesn't really have that much of a format. How do you? Okay, technically we say we talk about our perfect lives, but usually the perfect lives comes out of me going, I've got depression, you're like me too.

And it's like, ha ha ha ha. And then we solve a listener problem. It's just banter, it's just fun And at the end of it, we bring out a hog Welcome to trusty hogs Through the fog Step forth the trusty hogs Yeah, you're gonna give them your problems

And they will solve them Or maybe they won't And that's your problem They'll have guests And Andrew White on the tech Oh, it's Helen and Captain as the trusty hogs trust the trusty hogs or maybe not

welcome what an interesting indictment of our podcast also I think you're missing the real thrust of the week which is that fresh off the heels of fashion month you and I have both made massive purchases I will be honest was nervous about mine until I saw yours do you really not like this

not like is like so far from even the react like my reaction is it hasn't even got into the sort of the discernment of my, because the colour is beautiful on you, but it's more, I'm confronted so that I can't even decide about my feelings of pro or con because I'm like, so this, you're telling me this is a product that sells out, is it?

I believe it will, yeah. Oh, you believe it will. For the benefit of the listener, about 20 hours ago to the dot, I was made aware by several people on Instagram forwarding me that Primark had released its first groovy. chick range. I proceeded to lose my mind. So many years after the height of

her fame, but okay. I wouldn't say so many years. Bang on the Door Shop, UK has been running for quite a few years. Helen Abumpus, shout out, did buy me a groovy chick drawstring. I'd say five years ago. I'd then acquired a t-shirt from ASOS once. When you say a drawstring, you mean... Like a backpack. Okay. Do you remember those like

Nike drawstrings for school? And then you'd have the Nike drawstring on. People go, oh, be careful, there's a tick on you and you'd be like, where, where? But it was just the Nike tick from the logo. He had different schooling experience. It was just banter. Yeah, for sure. So here's the thing.

If they're the people who gave us, Gav has gone, I can't even judge. Gavis gone, it's good joke. It'll never, you know, so come on. I think that was in the extras. Join patron, please. This is what I believe, the height of fashion at the moment. Groovy chick range at Primark. I obviously managed to get in there this afternoon.

I went to the BBC. Is it a towel? May I ask? Is a tell? It's fleas. It's fleas. It's fleas. It is.

And they had some t-shirts, but the t-shirts were just like, they were all cropped and just like, not my style. I also got... And this is your style. A hundred, okay. Amazing. You're being really mean.

No, no, no, no. I'm just checking in. So is it day wear or is it like pajama wear? It was in the pajama section, but I believe it is my choice. That makes a lot more sense. Yes, it is your choice. Your body, your choice. My body, my choice.

Your privy chick, your fashion. I went in and I was like, I cannot believe there's still any left. I thought it was sold out at 9am. I nearly left earlier before I went to this BBC recording to get it beforehand. And I thought if I show up late there with all my good. they'll be annoyed. They'll be on to you, yeah. So I managed to run in afterwards.

I could not believe there was anything like that. You were touching your own moves more than you do you do because they're so soft. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I do, okay, technically I think it is nightwear, but like, how could I, how could I confine this to the house? No, and you shouldn't. And, I mean, we'll put, there'll be a picture up on Instagram of me wearing it, but it is, it's, it's lavender and it's covered in daisies and the groovy chick face all over it.

and there was loads of Gen Zs in the shop who were like, oh my God, why are all these big 30-year-old women losing their bloody minds? Were there more of you? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought the absolute state of us in that shop. All of us is like, oh, oh, oh, oh, go away from it. Like, and we're big girls, they know it

because this is technically a medium. How mental is that? Medium slash large. I have no comment on that. I know, because I would usually be a 2XL, but in groovy chick clothing, I'm a medium slash large. I think prime work do size big and I'll never, ever, ever, ever hate them for it.

I love them for it. I just think it's like, well, listen, either that or ever. I mean, honestly, women's sizing is such a fucking joke. I'm like all over the shop, depending on which place I go to. But I do feel like Primark are, they're gentle to us in that regard. They are just like, ten-ish. Do you want to hear? Don't worry about it.

Eat your dinner. Eat your dinner. And I like that as a tagline. But wait, you don't want to know about my fashion purchase? Can I finish this first? Oh, sorry, there's more to say. Well, you said women's sizing is often a joke. Yeah.

Andrew just thought a very funny joke about women sizing. Which was? Because I went, this is a medium slash large and M slash L. That's mental, isn't it? And then you said. No, no, no, no, sorry. Is the size mental? No, no.

Oh, no. Because you're about to put horrible words in my mouth. Oh, no. You're, because what Helen's about to say is, oh, does the M stand for morbidly obese? Which is not what I said. Which is not what I said. Just haven't noted the room is losing their mind. What actually happened

was Helen Helen said This is a medium I'm morbidly obese And then I said Maybe that's what the M stands for I didn't introduce you Whereas my

When you said ML to me My brain went mental to lunatic Both really good Both pretty rude actually I'm sorry I realised now That made it sound like You were just like walking around

calling me morbidly obese I am morbidly obese But is that what that's so That's funny also morbidly obese is like for it's like a very like judgment it's like laden that's a that's a like heavy we are yeah no I mean I mean it's imbued with a lot of societal stuff that you don't necessarily

not everyone wants to take on but I think everyone's if we're doing morbidly from that angle and not the morbidly obese angle like we're all morbidly obese like everyone's going to die right exactly like exactly that it just feels a lot it just feels very like fat people will die and it's like we'll all do isn't that awful thin people do not want to admit that to themselves

no but they're the ones that die faster I reckon I know it's all the stress They're so strained. And they are. One more thing. Oh, please. You're going to now feel defensive over this. Because I love it. There were Gen Zia's in Primark.

And they were like, why is everyone there? Why is everyone looking at this stuff? Yeah. What is it? Charlie and Lola? What's Charlie and Lola? It was like a kids TV show where the girl just had blonde hair. But it's obviously, even I know it's groovy chick.

I know. I know. You know I had a tin groovy chick pencil case in school. Slay. It was blue. and it was perfect and it was the exact same right shape for drawing circles around

you know when you needed to do faces as a kid perfect perfect perfect look tell me about your fashion now I was nervous about these sunglasses before today because I was like a day because I was like a bit outlandish it's quite colourful it's a bit like much for me

maybe they make me look like a pervert but now that I've seen you I feel fine about my yellow lens glasses I love them they're so fun do I look a little bit I was like, I feel like either I look like I'm editing a magazine or like I'm a pervert and I think it can be both. I think they're fashionable now.

It can and it is. And also it was two for one. So I got a normal pair of glasses and then I was like, I'm going to take a risk. I love them. Where are they from? Meller? Meller.

I got sold so hard on Instagram. And also it had this thing on Instagram where you could try on the glasses by putting a photo of your face in a filter. Hello. I can think I mainly bought her for that. Yeah. So obviously I was like, okay, fine. because I really saved money right now so I went for the two for one glass.

And like I know I had yellow overlay glasses when I was little, but they for reading to help like keep the words in place? Oh, I have no idea. I just thought they looked cute. Oh, they're not like a medical thing? Are they medical, Andrew? Are I a medical pervert? No, I don't think so, no. Could you? Just a regular old pervert. Oh. I think they're so cool. Do you remember? I think they're just for checking out like men who are in an inappropriate age category. Yeah. Do you know what I'm saying? I don't know why I went along with that. I liked it. I liked that you did. I liked that you did. while you stroked your own towel self. I mean, fleeced.

Helen, huge week for me. Could talk to me. Huge week. Well, first of all, I've worked out that I live relatively close to the Olympic swimming pool. You do live close to it. And that you're allowed to go there.

Yes. Two huge realizations. Wasn't that like Sebastian's Co-hole thing? Like, we'll do the Olympics, but we'll keep the legacy alive. I don't know that I'd listen to said that closely, so fair play to you. Fair play to me.

But, yes. So Ellen and I ran there. we ran with backpacks it turns out I don't like that and running's already hard enough but we've worked on a new system for next week

because we're going to make Tuesdays our swim day anyway because of course we've done something once so we were like we must make a rule about this so Tuesdays but we went and we swam

in the 50 meter length pool and it turns out that is much longer than a 25 meter length pool by which I mean you get to like 30 meters and you're like

the wall is surely now it'll be along where's the one and then the end you're like The wall, the wall. It's so stressful, but also everyone swims there with the sort of ever-present sense that at one point Olympians did.

So, like, we're all bang average swimmers, but everyone's swimming, like, they couldn't possibly take a break at the wall. Like, none of us have ever done that in our lives. And so it's like, you've got to keep moving. So we swam, like, ridiculously fast and quite much further than I would you ordinarily have done in that time.

But I say, you're, like, you're amazing at so many things, but swimming. I'm a pretty strong swimmer. Okay, I've seen you swim. You know what? we should race. You're like twice my leg because I think you'd win my guy.

I'd hope so. Also, aren't you a strong swimmer as well? I'm an incredible swimmer. That's great. Incredible. My parents were really like ardent about a learning to swim because neither of them could swim until they were adults and then they took lessons,

which I think is really brave to do as an adult because obviously that's fundamentally embarrassing. And no, I can swim. I'll believe it when I say it. I did the... I don't trust it, Catherine, I've seen it. I've seen it. That's okay.

I do not trust it. That's like me being like... Let's get some water in here and make a little race of it. We're having a fight. I don't think we are. Let's hold hands. No, I don't want to now. You don't want to do a compliment circle.

No, because now I'm nervous because I said I want to fight Catherine. Not fight Catherine. I want to do a swimming competition, but I feel like I've done this five times before and every time she does win. I do want a compliment circle. Should we just do a little compliments? It got really tense. Yeah, it did get really tense.

Everything's okay. Do you... You say sorry, then I'll say sorry. I'm sorry. Why are you sorry? Because I think that you wanted to be... better than me at something and probably you are a better swimmer than me and I think maybe I hurt your feelings by not loving groovy chick as much as I should have there we go and that's

crazy for me because she influenced my childhood too and I think you look amazing and I think probably it would have sold out so you're smart as well as stylish I just needed that from you and now I'm going to say sorry because I think that I was holding that yeah because I put it on and it wasn't the best reception I'm so sorry and I just bought it and I was really happy and I was really excited 19 pounds oh fine I mean that's great A bargain And then I lashed out of you with a swimming thing

Because But you weren't fast Yeah yeah Because I was just sort of drunkenly doing a length To cool down with my So then I'm sorry That I didn't see you swim fast that day I saw you swimming

Yeah And I think your nails are really nicely manicured today Thank you I did them myself And they're really gorgeous I like your ring I think your earrings are very well placed on your ear and it's gotten weird now I like your yellow glasses

thank you that's kind of you to say shall we do better in the future I think we probably should and that is how female friendship goes and that's a nightmare it's a fucking nightmare you cannot oh my gosh you went swimming people were competitive

but you oh no I was actually just saying that like I'm a strong swimmer and I've found it quite intense like the vibes were intense but I had a lovely time and then we poodle time with a cold and it was really like an invigorating start of the day. But this morning, I'd obviously because of the swimming decided I'm like some sort of new person. I was like, I can do hard things.

So it's another exercise class. No, this morning I did this American woman's Spotify like interval training. So you listen to her as you go along. It's not an extra class. It's like a guided run. Okay, okay. And she was truly like a. parody like a black mirror version of a coach in this run she would be like

it's going to be their hardest run but don't worry about it's your hardest push but I know you I'm proud of you and I was like sorry you're laughing at the people who are it was like she couldn't contain her smugness over the record I was like you could just edit out these horrible little giggles why are you doing this that's really do people like it she got loads of subscribers I don't know but she I really like I was like well but she um the worst part was I was killing myself in the park and then I heard her turn a page so she hadn't even learned off her fucking 20 minute routine

I was like oh I'm furious I'm furious you're work in progress thing this interval run with me oh my god anyway can you tell that and then I am then I my dishwasher wasn't working perfectly and everything wasn't coming out spotless there's a lot going on here so then I am cleaned out the filter and washed everything in it and washed the dishwasher and tried to figure out what was going on and I think what I'm trying to say

is that I'm struggling with not being as busy as I usually am and I'm not comfortable in rest time. But you've just finished the radio four show and you're still on tour. I know. What has happened is, I've come back from Edinburgh.

I've come back from the radio show making all of that very, very, very busy. And I always do this. Because our jobs are like either overwhelmingly busy or sort of eerily quiet. Yeah. When I get to the overwhelmingly busy, I'm always like,

fuck, I should have rested. Yeah. But the second the eerie silence sets in, And I'm like, I'm invisible. I need to keep, if I don't keep moving, I'll die. If I don't keep moving, I'll die. And then I have to do things all the time. And I'm just like, oh, I'm at least interested and curious in the fact that I noticed that this time.

Yeah. And I need to be like, take a second and a breath and maybe just have a rest. But that is inherently like an anxious part of your brain coming out. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, and I understand that. Have you talked about that in therapy ever? Yeah, I'm really. What techniques did they give you?

You know, relax and stuff. Oh God, do they just say relax and stuff? No, you're so good. See, Helen, what you do that I've never done with therapy is that you take the stuff they say and then you like do it. You have to. It costs so much not to do it.

I'm like, I hear you. That is an interesting observation. But your brain clearly needs to believe that there's productivity happening. Yes. And but it is obviously with comedy, productivity is all part of it. And also what they,

do say in therapy is to notice it which at least that's like the first time I actually have I was like huh what is going on with this frantic need to fill the time and exercise so much and do something in the house all the time anyway I was like oh that's interesting and so I've decided that the way that I make myself relax

is to become addicted to and this is true a very engrossing television show which one actually I might save it for the ex well there's two I'm into it's a married at first light you tell me oh my god I'm loving it also what is wrong with men do not get me started are you up to date as of last night helen i could talk about this literally all day should we talk about in the extras because i otherwise we'll take over the whole

episode i'm so in it's crazy i can't think about anything other than them when i'm not watching them just tell me you love sasha sasha is sasha's with ross oh my god oh my god yes but also when ross told his story of his past relationship oh my god i don't even remember that that was like a week ago. Ross is the jury do. No, no, no. That's the one with us with Christina. Yes. Ross is deaf. Oh my God. I was right. When you have to explain

abstinence? That's abstinence. And she was like, my celibacy. And I was like, I'm obsessed with them. I'm obsessed with them. Both of them are so adorable. I love them. Yes. Okay, save her for the extra because honestly I could do a whole episode and we're not a TV podcast. But we should be. We should be.

Oh my God. I've got so much to recommend. Do you want to hear what I'm going through at the moment? I'd love to. I've made the biggest life decision I've ever made. Okay, ready for this? I'm not getting depression this winter. I have decided. Wait a second.

Was there always a decision before you've just been deciding to get depressed? I feel like I've never been like absolute. I'm not getting it. Like part of me is always preparing to get it, right? Okay. And be like, I've got to go away in January. I've got to do that. But as we know from either the extras in last week's episode or the actual episode last week that I am trying to buy a flat at the moment.

So that goes, holidays go by bye, you know, like during that process. I still don't know how much it's going to cost to buy because it's not clear because there's always extra costs, right? You have to pay for solicitors, I assume. Oh, like, did you know about solicitors? I know that you have to get one when you, I've never bought a flat so I don't know. Yeah, I know you have to have one. And you presumably have to pay for one as well. Can't you represent you?

Like, I'm representing myself. No. you've got to be part of this association which I've been made it's been made very clear to me I am not a part of that association it's annoying it's bullshit so

I love that you asked if you could represent yourself because you know the answer may I please do everything I'll be representing myself in the case of me versus this house or what is it? Flattie. It's called Flattie yeah but yeah

Flattie Who was it I told my living room theme if I do get it too and they were like Catherine's going to be so upset. I can't remember who was I said it to. I was like my living room theme is going to be Agribar

you know like Aladdin Agrabah and they were like have you spoken to Catherine? I'm not upset I'm not helping that's my thing is I'm like I have an incredibly

phenomenal brilliant DIY expert who I can bring with I am so good at cleaning we will come and play mom and dad but I will not help with that Agrabah maybe groovy chick now I'm not helping

I went to school with a girl I'm not helping you groovy chickify your flat who had a groovy chick lip and bedroom. While I rent where I can't have a drink. Absolutely not. But I'm not getting depression this winter. I'm not doing it.

Okay, so circle back. What are your preventative measures? Okay. Other than deciding, which obviously I'm sure will work. Fully decided. Sad lamp is already out. Okay. Heating is going on when it needs to be on. I'm not like... Have you needed to put it on yet? I haven't.

Soneil's had it on. What? I was away for a full week last week. Listen, we are recording on October 2nd. He had the heating. I didn't spill it I didn't spill it I didn't spill my tea

She just spilled her copy all over the tea You actually spilled the tea I spilled the tea You spilled the tea I'm sorry The tea is that Seneal had the fucking heating on In September you're saying to me

And we'll need to clean that up But he also didn't ask me Right I got back from Scotland I've been away for five days And I was like we got in And I was like it's really warm isn't it And he went oh yeah And I was the heating on

He went I mean I had it on timer But it was like really shifting He already said it on So he'd already had it on But I'm also, the part of this year is I'm not fighting that. I'm just like, yeah, we need to be warm. Part of that is being warm and cozy. I'm also, I've stocked up on magnesium.

Sorry, no, no, I needed to rewind. Sorry, there's no way. It is, what, 16 degrees today, 13 lowest. Today is October 2nd. You're telling me last week in September. He needed to have the heating on to be warm. And this is, oh, no, you're ruining my depression. You live in a flat.

I'm going to start to get pissed off about this. Sorry, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. He also doesn't like, you know when people like don't dress warm? And then they're like, oh, he's walking wearing a t-shirt and shorts being like, we have to put the heating on. Sort of. Yeah. It's like put on proper slippers. Put on a dressing gown. Or like, I have so many blankies. I'm like put a blankie over you when you're watching your TV shows. He's such a hairy man. You're fine. And he's not putting on blankie. He refuses to use hot water botty. Like, and I've got. It's September. It's not even cold enough for those things. I don't, I don't know. I don't mind a hot water. body in the bed around September time just to warm it up a little bit. On my tutsies. And on my vagina as well when my womb lining is shedding. Am all right ladies? Yes. That's fair. That's fair. If you put it on your vagina, you're not putting it on your tummy. I put it straight up the cunt. That makes sense.

I hear it from the inside. You got to do what you got to do, girl. I just saw M out the corner of my writing which means in m's mind that is a possible clip for social media and let me be the first to say that will not not pass matters guideline by i just admire the ambition cun up yeah i don't think that's right my other plan wait so you're just going to not get annoyed by him doing that i'm not going to get annoyed and i'm also just going to allow myself to be comfortable of a woman who thinks she's moving out soon. That's like, okay. Oh my God, isn't?

Okay, yeah, okay, great, amazing, amazing, great. Because is he going to move in with you to your flat if you buy it? Probably not. I don't know. Are you going to live by yourself? Yeah, it feels really emotional though. No, no, no, probably not by myself. I think a friend will probably move in with me.

I'm not ready to live alone. The idea really frightens me. Okay, because I had a theory based on our last time we talked about, well, we don't have to talk about it as we can talk about in the extras if you'd rather. But I had a theory about it. when you were talking about um food and feeling observed that if you didn't feel so observed would you still would you feel see i think the opposite i think it'll bring out like more of the need to only a home whereas the encouragement is to be able to eat everywhere right instead of feeling

so observed also um i've got like a funny new joke about that go on about like you know people like i think we've talked about the podcast before if you've got like any sort of eating disorder when people are watching you eat or having to eat in public in front of people people, you can feel very self-conscious, very awkward. That's just a very common thing for people. And people are like, oh, that's such a shame. It's so unnatural because you should be able to eat when you're hungry. Like, that's the natural thing.

I'm like, I think it's so natural to not want to be observed when you're eating. Because think of a squirrel, right? Thinking of one, yeah. Okay. They're having a nibble on an acon. Someone takes out their camera. They're like, just holding it because they don't want to be observed, right? No animal likes being watched eating.

Yeah. All the David Attenbrook documentary is it's like lions absolutely pounding an antelope. And then as soon as the camera gets close, it's like, don't film me. This is not my best moment. I know this is the fucking before. Like, and it's just sudden like shame takes over them. Yeah. And they are aware because like animal's shame, I think, is the same as mine

because they're happy to lick themselves in front of anything. They'll clean themselves, lit themselves. They're fucking all the time on BBC too. I don't know if you noticed. Yeah. Yeah. It's an epidemic in itself. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So that's my, isn't that funny. You're right. Eating is shameful. That's the takeaway from them. Never do it in public, particularly if you identify as. a woman, okay, that is grim and it is ghost. I'm always perturbed by any argument that starts with

the logic that we should do things because we're not, that we should do things because that's what animals do. I always, it's a real like, um, right wing man on Twitter energy, which is like, well, in the natural world and you're like, yeah, the thing is though, like

we have phones, you know, and like, tertiary services and wait, what's the tertiary service? Like third sector, like, you know, be like charity and provisions of things like we also have like just you know opposable thumbs

and education I just feel like we can be better than that totally and also that whole like pushing the bird out of the nest and they always push the weakest one out of the nest like you don't do that no not god no but if we're going to I will remain in the nest slay

I'll crush my siblings no stress it's my groovy chick jumper Okay, part of my depression plan. Sorry, yes, please. Okay, so I was with previous guest, Tams and Kelly. HBDP. Hey, oh, what's that? Helen Barrow depression plan.

Ooh! This could be your new illness. If anybody asks, because obviously you have to have some sort of acronet. HBDP. I will say there is an alternative DP that maybe we should, maybe, maybe I'd personally change it. What's DEP? Oh, Dick Problems. Dick Pitt.

I like that, though. That's, that'll be ED though, or act all this function. Okay, sorry. What's DP? Her double penetration. Is that like every hole's a goal sort of a thing? Yeah, that's like a leaky submarine. Oh, not heard that before.

It's a leaky submarine. It's when you try and fill every hole. Oh, yeah. You know, like when guys come up to your nightclubs, like, oh, I'm going to play leaky submarine on you love. And that's when they try and plug you up. Someone has said that, don't you? Yeah, it's a common phrase.

It's a common phrase. It's a common phrase. I'm not, I'm like, stop looking at me. Stop looking at me like that. You didn't believe. Leaky submarine. Helen, you didn't, Helen. you didn't believe monkey on my back was a phrase

but you're going to try to make leaky submarine a common phrase. It's a thing. We're playing leaky submarine. Do you know how many men have come up to me? Plug her up, we're going down. It's leaky submarine time. I can't think of when I haven't used it.

Daily. Daily. Helen, ever since we've had that clip go out, all I get is people being like, does she finally believe it's a phrase? And me being like, she will not believe that monkey on the back is a phrase. But you were trying to make this like a common daily

occurrence. I hate this podcast today. I am feeling very attacked. Leaky submarine. Leaky submarine. That's disgusting. Tell me about your depression. That's disgusting.

Give me a penetration from him. Well, I didn't say that. So what holes are we talking about then? Dealer's choice. Mouth and like hoggroves. It should be dealers' choice. It should be tables choice, surely. Where's your consent?

Dealer's choice. Dealer's choice. That's outrageous. I suppose there's multiple options and multiple interpretations you could say two in one hole you could say two separate holes two in one hole

you know what I would like if I was to pick two holes two in one hole yeah it's been done two penises in one hole no you'd have to really elasticate the asshole

is an asshole that's the tightest one this is a fun game if everyone in the room you can't move on who chooses the tides one for two that's mad but like maybe you have to think

of the smallest peens and the biggest asshole and then there might be room for a third hello I don't want to think of the littlest peens in the biggest hole you know when you have like a really big shit and I hate this podcast today

I can't believe it's me I know I'm going to steer it away from that here's a fun game you're going to steer it away just before you said it here's a fun game for all of us and the listener at home which two holes would you light up

on your body for me I'll go first their mouth on my clip and just playing with the ear like that hole

you notice like your clit's not a hole my clit has your clit's not a hole fine wide mouth over the clit and vaginal area like a lymph like a barnacle

that's quite a reach up though for them to get your ear I know they'd have to have really long arms or a device crazy choice a device a device what like one of those little fingers like little hands on the on the oh actually no I'll have two people or like a foam finger

let's go Viking me just losing my mind body out of control gosh um what is your depressive one oh no I'm not answering that question that's a shame I like to answer on behalf of Catherine no I'm going to Say mouth, because you do like making out. How do you know?

I'm going to say mouth and rimming. You don't know anything about me is what I've realized. You don't think I can swim. We're not revisiting it, Catherine. Unless you tell me you want me to get you one of these because I might have one of my bag in your size. Oh God, you're nice. I don't know.

Not that I don't love it. Not that I wouldn't be thrilled. But you must give it to Emma Black instead. Sorry, depression plan. Emma Black would love that. Shout out Emma Black. Shout at Emma Black. we found some common ground again okay um i've already got my remember i bought for you last year the

vitamin d spray that goes straight into your system yes locked up on that i got some CBD like not gummies but like from holland and barrett and like they're amazing it isn't necessarily forced me to go to sleep but i am sleeping the whole night through right consistently like i am waking why are they like boiled sweets no it's just a sweet it's like a capsule sweet from holland and barrett okay But like a tablet, but like it makes you... So sorry, just to clarify. Hello. You're taking CBD tablets.

Mm-hmm. The heating is up on 100 in September. Well, it's on two in my room. Mine's quite right. Okay, the heating's on in September. You're taking CBD. You have a hot water bottle by your feet. And magnesium and magnesium.

Is your depression plan to just sleep through the winter? It's a hibernation. Is it to wear that fleece till March? I'm a bear. I'm going full bear this winter. I'm hibernating. Yeah, okay. What else does the plan involve?

Okay. When I can, I'm walking places instead of like jumping on tubes and buses. Right. So like leaving earlier. And then also like in the morning, like this morning, I was like, okay, I've got to be there at this time. But I'm going to go a little bit earlier, sit outside, have a coffee like in town just to get some sort of daylight on my face. Yes. If not do the sad lamp.

I've got like a vitamin C serum. just to like be a little bit healthier and then I've bought like I'm buying like nice fruit tangerines but like I went to M&S and got some and ran into Jenny a Claire hello Jenny a Claire never met her before we were next to each of the paying and I was like are you Jenny Claire and she was like yes and I was like that's mad I just got an email with your name and it's I just did and then we had a lovely gap we had a lovely gap we live literally like eight doors away from each other. Isn't that mad? That's nice. Yeah, I hope she's going to, I asked it to come on the podcast. Oh, that's good. You've got to check those things with me, but it turns out I like me. Okay. Yay! But like, really nice tangerines and satsumas. I'm going to be like trying to get as much of that vitamin stuff for me as possible. So the plan is stay sort of drowsy and spend your cash. Sort of, I guess. But I'm also like, I'm not getting it. That's the main mantra. Yeah, okay, great. I'm not getting it. I'm not getting it. I'm not getting it. I'm not getting it.

I won't have it. That's for the mentally weak. And I... Wow, what a plan. I'm mentally strong. A toxic bear. Like a toxic bear. A toxic bogey bear.

Can I tell you something really sad? Another thing or a new thing? I learned today. Oh, go on. You heard about bear baiting. Oh, God. Oh, God. No, I haven't heard about bear baiting.

What is this? 1600. Is it a gay thing? Is that Andrew? No, it's a horrible animal cruelty thing. No. It's awful. In the 1600.

Right. Where did you learn this? Evil genius recording. Okay, I got you. Bear baiting. Right. They'd get a bear and then they'd annoy it so much that a dog would come and fight it. And then the bear and the dog would fight.

And then people would just watch it for fun. Isn't that awful? That's horrendous. Isn't that awful? I hate that my first thought was married at first sight. I was like, are we doing the same thing? No, that's really bad. Bear baiting.

Awful. Yikes Shocking But that's just what it was like back then 1600s would not go in there They used to do cockfighting as well They used to do cockfighting but more than cockfighting That's all happens right

Yeah yeah hopefully not What is this incredibly depressing section of the podcast What do we call even? History Corner I don't know They also used to throw weighted sticks at chickens Waited Weighted sticks at chickens

They'd call it like chuck at the cock Or something like that And they're awful That feels like a gay thing. That's a gazing. Is that a gay thing, Andrew? Come on. Come on.

Come on. Behave yourself. Isn't that crazy? Like people, and then around that. You just kind of remembered? I guess it's crazy. And then if they weren't doing that, it was just like, well, let's just go to the beheading then.

Like, they did nothing to do. Awful. What I love is you've come from another podcast recording where you've covered these things in depth, but I assume some expert insight also on the podcast. Yeah. And you sort of half remembered and told us it on a different podcast. In a sort of harrowing, apropos of nothing scenario.

It's hard when you're doing many podcasts in a day to separate them. That is such a 20-24 problem. My thing is I'm doing too many different podcasts in one day. Oh my God. I have to hear about how Scotland was. You went for a week. Charmed. The depths of, I've done this tour as well.

so we're not just talking the major cities we're talking Aberdeen, Inverness, Air Edinburgh and Glasgow How was it? How do they like Helen Barre? Everywhere was fine, apart from Aberdeen Tell me everything. You know when it's just like

xenophobia? Yeah. Do you mean towards the English? Yeah. Oh for God say. It still counts as xenophobia. I don't know that it does. The M-C went on in Scottish

and he was like, give me a cheer from further afield than Aberdeen, whole crowd. okay so we're all from Aberdeen they were like aye man you were annoyed that Scottish Scottish places had Scottish people there was no English shit and then I was like yeah really annoyed and then I was like oh God oh God oh God and then like it was just like the gig was fine

I was like I'm English and the first comedian you know Stuart McPherson he's so funny he did a bit about being a mouth breather and you know I've got a bit of being my mouth breather but I didn't do it but I was like well I'm English and a mouthbrewer and they were like ugh and I was like give me a fucking chance and then I came up

It didn't warm to you immediately. And then I went downstairs to the toilet and you know when you're just like, something's not right. Wait, what's that from? Wait, is this a toilet story? Miss Clavel, Miss Clavel from Madeline, something is not right. Hello? I don't know that I know that person. But also, sorry.

Miss Clavel, Miss Clavel, Le Dock Orange, even. No, I don't know. You've not seen the film, Madeline? No, I didn't like 30 years. Oh yeah, me neither. That'll be mad to watch it religiously. Okay. No, wait, is this about to be a toilet story?

No, no. I just happened to be in the toilet and I was like, something's not right. And then, like, all the comedians and everyone was upstairs and I'd already been on. But I was waiting to the end of the show. So, like, had a little nose around. And I was like, something feels off. Is this a ghost story? And they were all talking about ghosts.

And I literally went upstairs and I went, are you talking about ghosts? And they were like, yeah. And I was like, I am not joking. I just felt that downstairs. And then I was too scared to go out for a cigarette to get someone to come with me I couldn't do it and it was just like you know when you know

you know no I don't know when you know like just that feeling no like something like something cold like behind your

like a breeze not just a breeze Catherine you just said a draft sort of like a body there was a cold body behind you and a woman in a bonnet

rocking it is spooky season this I'm excited about this I'm really excited about I'm making a autumnal wreath I have leaves drying at the moment. Very excited

about it. Took Ellen to collect leaves with me and she said things like, I'm bored but I was having a lovely time because as you know I was trying to fill time and it was something to do and my house me... Wait, how big is the wreath going to be? The size of a wire hanger

stretched into a circle. Oh my God, I love there. Yeah, really, really easy to make really cute. No, just colour blocked leaves with a big bow. You know, I've got a robin that can be attached by wire to like a Christmas tree. Do you want to borrow it?

That feels Christmas wreath to me. Okay. And we're going sort of autumnal Halloween. Like a crow? A raven? Yeah, or like a pumpkin question mark. But little Charlie Clive has put gorgeous velvet pumpkins all over it has and it's so cute. And then Serena made us a spiced corn soup the other night and I'm feeling very like, oh, like family vibes.

Like autumn, autumn. Like a corn chowder? Exactly a corn chowder. It was unreal. I actually will ask her for the recipe because it was so, so. She won that recipe. And she did crispy onions and spring onions on the top. It was divine.

This sounds so good. Yeah, it was actually banging. It was so, and then she served it with blue corn tortilla chips. Yes. Delicious. It was actually spectacular. That was probably the highlight of my week.

That soup was so good. Shout out Serena. Your whole house is just like the corn kid. You know, like, it's cool. Yeah. Honestly, we were. We genuinely were. It's actually, we're all having very wholesome vibes.

I came in from my gig last night and Ellen was painting in the library. And I was like, by the way, that makes it sound like our house is Doreen. It is. It is literally the most deranged house. It's so wild and we're very lucky to get to rent it. But it's like it is like probably a house for six people that four of us are renting. And so I have an office that we call the library. Even though it's not color coded books because I put them in color coding and Ellen put them back.

As a prank. As a hilarious prank. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Anyway, she was painting in there. It was very beautiful and also when everyone's done like a clothes, clear out. We're all feeling very like. like tis spooky season but yes um see i want to live with girls again that would be cute but you will miss senile but he's the first time i've ever lived with like actually no i did

live with three guys in germany for a hot minute yikes i don't have done male house shares actually it was really fun shout out to the boys male house share is so funny i've done mail house share well my friends at the time those are the choices male or female house shares we called it german new girl like i was like three dudes and then i sort of came in and they were like all old friends And then it was just like me Just like, hello shit Is this like when you shared that bedroom With one of them?

No With my cousin I shared a bed for a year Who was the guy that we met in Melbourne Who was doing the Imman Did you share a bedroom with him? Yes In Germany

You did share a room with the man I did He said you cried so much And he would just bring you chocolate all the time Yeah I was in such I was this is before I was mentally strong I was mentally weak I was going through a depression

and I live with a really lush guy called Eman. He's so nice. He's so cute. We shared a room together at my friend's place and I was like so miserable all the time and I was just like crying. Maybe like three, four months. How old were you been?

I think he was like 34, 33 and I was 26, 25. What a wild life you've led. I know. It's weird, isn't it? When you say, I'm like that. Yeah. Wow.

Goodness me. I reckon just if you have to get a housemate just like they'll definitely, it's a two-bedroom flat you're thinking of buying, is it? I would love. The one that I've had an opposite to is two-bedroom. So I'm really hoping. Oh my God. Good luck.

Hill and that's exciting. But I want to live with, I want girly-wally vibes. Like I'm missing Emma Black so much. You do need, because she's been on the phone so much recently. Is there anyone you could ask? Do you know any girlie-wear or are looking to live in? There's loads of people that will need somewhere who. Just email into the podcast if you're looking for somewhere to live.

Helen's looking for a housemaid. But I still haven't decided, like, if I get it, what my landlady style is going to be. Like, I think I might, part of me is like... When you talk about being a landlord, it actually makes me hate you, so let's not ruin our lovely. We've just gotten back on track. I don't know. I kind of want to be, like, a really insane contract, you know? Like, and like, they pay my entire mortgage.

That is... I honestly, I know you're joking, but it makes me hate you. Like, it makes me think you're disgusting. I like the, like, you're like, so insane, even though that's practically what all the rental market. I know, I know, I know, I know. Yeah, yeah. I think you could just be nice and charge a friend a reasonable rate because, um, because you own the property. A hundred percent.

Can't believe on my own a property. And because they'd have to live in a mad themed house. Could you believe that I might own a property by the end of the year? Isn't that so silly? You know, it's amazing and you're very, very lucky and you also deserve it. I know. We're both, it's both things. It's like both incredibly fortunate

And also you've worked really hard for it Oh my God And I'm proud of you But also how mad is it that like most people can't I just still can't The system's so broken Like I still can get my head around The fact that like most of us who like work

For all time jobs I don't know Like most people I know who work full time job Can't get a hat It's like crazy Yeah yeah yeah How is that the system? It's just where we can

Like But I'm very pleased for you And I'm excited for you It's that London thing of like You just can't live in what we would describe as London like you'd have to like go further out for most people which just sort of makes it like

then you're being absolutely fucked over by the trains like you know how much a single tube journey like oh a day train travel ticket on the tube is it's like 18 pounds but also when people are like oh just just move outside of London or like towards you're like what that actually translates for people is like just just leave your community

just leave your family oh great well let's all go live in Kent you know like you know no no no I won't live that. Well, Kent is surprisingly beautiful when you go but I don't want to live there obviously.

The absolute state of them all those St. George's flags and it's not St. George's Day it is insane. Okay, but also if you're on patron from Ken, thank you so much for joining us. Oh my God.

The Garden of England. Thank you so much. We love it there. Helen. Hops, strawberries and women. Our three favorite thing. No, isn't that the Dickens quote about Kent.

Those are our three favorite thing at the end. I'm in Kent this weekend actually. I'm in Favisham. Sorry, just to jump in with a tour plug. We love Favisham Favisham actually is beautiful Damn it, sorry, yes I'm sure it is So yeah, standupandra.com slash tour

Get Favisham tickets, thank you That's my guy, way to find that in Should we answer a listener problem? Yes, before a problem I've actually got two updates Go on Two people have just moved to Kent And we're so happy for you

Amazing Well this is actually So in relation to your depression plan This is from Josh Hi Joshy Who says, hi Helen I think you might have mentioned Just wonderful name.

Yeah, this isn't like a problem or anything. It's just a bit of information. Okay. Because you said you didn't get anything from mushroom drops. You weren't affected by mushrooms. But apparently SSRIs and silo bisir silozybin antidepressants both work in your serotonian system and counteract mushroom effect. So if you're on antidepressants, you might not feel the effects or need a much higher dose. So I need to come off the antidepressants?

No, no. I think maybe just don't. to come off them is what I'm hearing. But we're not going to feel the effects of psilocybin unless we go mega hard, so what we need to do is loads of mushrooms. Yes, I guess that is the takeaway. Did you see the guy that had loads of...

Episode 200. Episode 200. Oh my God, can we do that? Episode 200 is already planned. Sorry. Why? Because I planned it. No, you did not.

I planned it already. Sorry. Wait, wait. I have to pass all my ideas for the special episode through Catherine to get them approved. Yeah, it's already planned. I've done the...

I planned it with Andrew. We've already planned it. Sorry, you can't. Did you do what I asked? Did you get the mediums towards Diana? I can't assess enough how much we're not doing what you said and we're not doing. Could you imagine, though, if we contacted Diana on this podcast? Helen, I'm not telling you what's happening on episode 200.

The Queen's up there too. Let's have a discussion. She's not up there. She might be. She's down there. I don't know. God's a royalist if ever I met one. Izzy Falk.

God's a royalist. Izzy Falk. 100%. Not for a female leader. Please. Come on. It's a male triad of ever. go on andrew our next update it's from v who emailed in very recently about whether they

should meet up with their ex-husband oh my god yes in new york and the partner was not that comfortable with that yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes this was john's week it was yes it was yes it was just it was only two weeks ago um v says thank you so much for my advice i decided that i was going to meet up with him and even though i was incredibly nervous i was confident in my decision yes i knew she would immediately burst into tears and hugged upon seeing each other both completely overwhelmed the motion. I was worried it would be awkward, but I felt very at ease, and we had a lovely conversation in catch-up.

We both recognised that whilst there will always be a bit of sadness for us in our marriage not working out, it was actually the best thing for both of us. I had a really significant realisation towards the end of a meeting, and I think in order to cope with the way our relationship had ended, I'd convince myself that the relationship had been insignificant. I created that coping strategy by convincing myself that I was young and stupid and married a guy that I didn't love.

but meeting him again made me realize that was all rubbish. The reality is I was really in love with him and he was really in love with me but it just didn't work out and that's actually fine because neither of us would be who we are now without it. We both are in relationships, have had children and he's coming around to have dinner with my family next weekend. This is so, like this is possibly best case scenario. That's so nice!

What a testament to you and your ex-husband, the maturity level is there to be able to to do that and be able to be nostalgic with each other and to have like like I think the hardest thing in life is to let go of wrongs or to let go of feelings and just sort of be like it's okay these things happen I don't know I've never done it but I imagine it's very difficult to know that sounds so hard and good for them yes no you wouldn't catch it but well done wait I've missed something haven't I there's just no worth of which I could do it but I really respect it I'm like that's amazing for other people it is that's sick for someone else great job v so important as long as it's not me well done them and only them how do you let go

i asked my therapist that once what did she say she was like it is primarily a lot of talking through it to the point where it just doesn't feel like a big thing and overwhelms you each time it's just processing yeah i do think that's yeah i do think that you can you can work something out enough that it doesn't bother you anymore but but just like letting it go i'm not for i don't think you can just let something go. It's just, and everyone's processing speeds with each thing is slightly different. It's like a download. You actually have to have processed it.

You can't let it go if it's still on, yeah. But even then I'm just like. But there must be a spot we can like push really hard on our heads that like deletes it, you know? If only. Like a little. That would be amazing. Sorry, Andrew, we'd love a problem. No, no, I was enjoying that little diversion.

Thank you so much. I liked your facial expression. Eddie Andrew. Funny face, Catherine. Do you want to see it? Yeah. Oh, that is good. Do a funny one.

Will you do that your cat's bum, please? It makes me laugh. We're not done on this, isn't there? No. I do it on the live show. This is Helen's impression of a cat's bum. You'll have to watch it on YouTube to see. This camera?

Yeah, off you go. Every time it gets me. M looks so disgusting. Every time it gets me. I love it so much. I love it so much. I do my snail. Please do your.

This is such good audio. I love it. Please do subscribe to our YouTube. Please do. Please do. Come on, do it. Off you go. I'd love to audio describe it, but just, it's a snail.

Just picture of snail. I don't know why it kills me so much, but it does. Because she's only little and she's very sweet. It's very fun. It's very fun. But now we'll do a problem. Yes, yes, sorry. Yes, please.

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Hi, Elle. Woods. Mm. Yes, this is from L Woods. No, of course it's not. She's a fictional character. Okay, Andrew, you really got your hopes up and then had to crush them yourself. Sorry, I really did.

No, because it's not. She's a fictional character. She's real in our hearts and minds, Andrew. Thank you, yes. Hey, Hogs. First off, thank you all for being so unabashedly funny. You make my hour-long commute to work bearable. You're welcome.

That is so. nice but I love that you think it's a choice we're just naturally like this we could never ever be abashedly anything no can one be abashedly I don't really know I guess if you can be unabashedly it's like no shamelessly

bashfully isn't it oh that makes more sense yeah does it mean shamelessly we're not bashful no god no no I'm sneezy it's a little dwarfed and I am grumpy it's good stuff go on so here is my dilemma I won an alumni achievement award from my alma matter for my dedication to an annual event I co-run to help raise funds and awareness for

pediatric cancer. That is so many things in one sentence. Yes. But okay, I think I'm with you. So, yes, they run a regular event and they won an award for that. Good for you. I'm deeply thankful for the recognition. However, I am woefully unprepared.

There's a whole big ceremony planned and I have to provide a biography and prepare a speech. What really made me spiral, though, is the fact that my fellow award recipients are much more successful, both personally and professionally than I am. That old adage comparison is The Thief of Joy. It's really knocking the wind out of my sales at the moment. How do I craft a speech that doesn't lean into my default setting of using self-deprecating humour as a defence mechanism? Thank you for your help and keep being awesome. Sincerely, L.

First of all, congratulations, okay? Because at the end of the day, you're not the one that gets to pick who gets the awards. They've given it to you as well as these other people, which means that you are in the mix with them, first and foremost. Your personal feelings did not come involved, did not get involved in who wins this thing, and you have won one of these awards, and that's amazing. Now over to Catherine.

Yeah, it's tricky, isn't it? Because, like, I do think awards are silly, but in this regard it is about an actual thing that you did. So, like, it's not about your CV. It's about having actively contributed to this event, which you've all done equally sufficient for them to give you, the award, so I think you have earned it. A hundred percent.

And I'm not really sure why other achievements are relevant to it. I think like this is specific to a thing and you deserve this. So let that sink in as much as you can. I also think that without being self-deprecating, you can say a flip side rather than going like, and I think it's a way of thinking about it as well, rather than going like, oh God, all these people are so much better than me I'm not good enough you could be like I'm really grateful and it feels so significant and exciting to be in this group of people because they are what I aspire to be and it's inspiring and exciting to be amongst them and I think like I do think you're

only ever as good as the best thing you can see and I think like being around people who are on your exact same level all the time or who haven't achieved as much as you have might feel safer, but it's not necessarily going to inspire you and I think that's exciting to be around people who are like often doing more exciting

and more impressive things than you. I feel like that's a lot of what we do is being around people who are like doing things that we would love to be able to do and part of it's very easy to be like oh comparison is a thief of joy but I think like same like

similarity is the thief of imagination like your capacity to sense what you could do is informed by who's around you and this is so exciting to be amidst all of these people and I think you can say that I also think you can give credit in your speech

to people who you feel like have done lots to contribute to this thing that you build together which is so exciting I think that's something that is useful that awards is like apropos of most like of very little it's hard to kind of

thank and acknowledge people who have done the work. And I'm sure there are people who have been unseen in this endeavor who haven't been given the award and you can definitely refer to them. That's exciting. Or do a revenge speech is also an option. Oh my God. Or do a revenge speech. To those who didn't believe in me. To the kids who had cancer who I didn't

even like but helped. There we go. That's a great example. Were there any bratty kids with pediatric cancer? That's not talked about enough. I do think you're going to want to have a couple of different speech options. So like if you're not first up, it means that people might go on

and might do speeches being like, and this achievement and this achievement, like before they bring them up, like definitely have a couple of funny achievements in your purse. Like, just like the time you got a 10 metre swimming certificate, the time you jumped off.

Which Helen won't believe, by the way, unless she's seen it. I will be brave. Um, I do think probably a couple of jokes would be good. If not, just start crying. People let you off then, don't they? Just like,

I wonder this as I was a child. I don't. think I'd cry. I think um maybe not then I do think it's tricky to joke with this particular topic I think no no no there's loads of jokes in it star signs like what are you a cancer and they're like aries and it's like yeah you think this person who's worked nervous about making us should do crowd work probably a bit just to loosen up the audience interesting just to loosen them I think this I think keep it short keep it simple thank the people who have not who've gone unacknowledged and say how exciting it is to be to be amidst the people who are around you and um then enjoy

know your fucking evening because you're not there by accident or or do we remember mean girls no don't break up the fucking Katie Heron wins prom queen

like a girl did with the Grammy and then what Adele split her Grammy in Did she? Yeah because of Beyonce Oh damn it Adele copied Katie Heron Okay but then like you tear it into pieces

and you hand it out to like everyone Don't do that And a piece for you Glenn Coco You go Glenn Cocoe Don't do that. And then it's just an option. I'm just giving other options out there. Okay, fine, don't do that.

You can tell we've landed on the perfect solution when Catherine finishes a sentence and then Helen goes, Or! Or! Do the thing right before the or. Or, and maybe. A celebratory dance.

You don't have to say anything if you're nervous of public speaking. You get given the award. And then remember that new dance routine? I learned the new move I got before Edinburgh. I'll show you. Remember this one? Are you about to floss?

Oh, yeah. What is that, Helen? Go Helen. Is that a two-step? Oh, yeah. Yikes. And then you just do like a dance? I don't think so.

And then the worm? Actually, I do back the worm. Yeah? That'd be fucking wild. Yeah, I think to say nothing, an exclusively worm. I actually 100. And then could you get footage of that? And then that too is like an update.

And you have to do that thing where when you go on, when you get in the award, be like, it's so much heavier than I thought. like just prove that you're like oh no I'm tiny people love doing that like if you notice that they get handed the award I've never lifted anything in my life okay yeah no I reckon worm

forget what I said oh no we're done I entertained one okay yeah that's you just no no thank you thank you for listening what listen in F it's in the extras we're going to talk about my obsession with maths my obsession with another television show that is arguably a better dating show.

Oh, you're going to lose your mind. And I want to talk about an Instagram that I am obsessed with right now. Okay, is it me? Sophie Tee. Oh. Sophie Tee. Anyone watching her?

We'll talk about it on the extras. Okay, okay, okay, okay. And I will tell you about gigging in Dublin. Please. Yeah. We'll see you in the extras. See you in the extras. Bye.

Bye. Oh, and quick, quick, get down to Primark if before they sell Oh fuck off Just end it Thank you so much To our executive producers

You keep the podcast going You keep me in high fashion Seriously thank you so much No actually thank you so much No but seriously But genuinely thank you Sweet Jesus I don't think we could do today Well let's just give like the biggest shout out ever

Baves of our love I'm going to get emotional Simon Moore's Guy Goodman Annie Tonner Stephanie Katracea Oliver Diego Anthony Conway Neil Bredman Madelinequin and Sadie Cash

more. It's a good list. They're legend. And here is our amazing producers. Thank you to our producers, L. Richard Bold, Rachel Page, Helen A, Abby, Warf, Luke Bright, Kate, Casey, Ezra Peregrine, Anthony, Sophie Chivers, Becky Fox, Tim and Dom, Ria Fink, Cordelia, Amy O'Rood and Taz, Charlie A, Carrie Sooth, Dean Michael, Jim Rayneberg, Tamson Smith Harding, Claire Owen Jones, Harold Van Dyke, David Walker, Jess and Nick, Rachel Arsair and Molly, Tina Lindsay, Leah Overend, Hannah J, Clow and,

Liz Ford, thank you all so much. Thank you. Thank you.