Trusty Hogs - Ep159. SHANE DANIEL BYRNE / Chapstick, Cheese & Chappell Roan

Episode Date: November 7, 2024

We're chatting this week with a Young Hot Guy and stellar stand-up comic, SHANE DANILE BYRNE! We had a lot of fun chatting about strange statuette traditions, pearl necklace posers, co-worker dilemmas, and Irish tourists in London...FOLLOW SHANE: @ShaneDanByrneTOUR TICKETS: www.trustyhogs.com/tourThank you so much for listening!Support us at www.patreon.com/TrustyHogs for exclusive bonus content, merch, and more!Trust us with your own problems and questions... [e-mail] give us a follow @TrustyHogs on all socialsBe sure to subscribe and rate us (unless you don’t like these little piggies - 5 Stars only!)All links: https://audioalways.lnk.to/trustyhogsSNThank you to our Patreon supporters...EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Guy Goodman / Simon Moores / Annie Tonner / Stefanie Catracchia / Oliver Jago / Anthony Conway / Neil Redmond / Madeline Quinne / Sadie CashmorePRODUCERS: Elle / Richard Bald / Harald van Dijk / Tim & Dom / David Walker / Rachel R / Claire Owen-Jones / Jess & Nick / Sarah & Molly / Raia Fink / Cordelia / Rachel Page / Helen A / Tina Linsey / Graham Marsh / Amy O'Riordan / Abbie Worf / Matt Sims / Luke Bright / Leah / Kate Spencer / Liz Fort / Taz / Anthony / Klo / Becky Fox / Dean Michael / Sophie Chivers / Carey Seuthe / Charley A / KC / Jam Rainbird / Tamsyne Smith-Harding / Hannah J / Ezra Peregrine / BrynWith Helen Bauer (Daddy Look at Me, Live at the Apollo) & Catherine Bohart (Roast Battle, Mock the Week, 8 Out of 10 Cats)FOLLOW HELEN, CATHERINE & ANDREW...@HelenBaBauer@CatherineBohart@StandUpAndrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to episode 159 of Trustee Hans. I'm Catherine Bohart. She's Helen Bauer. And I think you can tell when we've recorded two episodes in a row because the second one means I've had a lot to eat sugar-wise and a lot to drink caffeine-wise. I've only had one cup of tea because I'm not doing caffeine anymore, which means I did have a cup of tea.

But that was a mistake because I realized I ordered it and then was like, whoa. Anyway, here's why. Helen, welcome to our podcast. I love you so much that you're this caffeinated from an English breakfast day. Because I haven't had caffeine in ages. It keeps happening where I'll know I've had it by mistake because suddenly I'm like...

Really? Oh my God, like so bodily anxious and speaking so fast. And I mean, I speak fast anyway, but it's like, whoa, whoa, wee-wah. Anyway, that's not the phrase. But the point is, I'm here and you're here. On coffee number three. And if this is your first time to see to the podcast, I'd love to tell you this isn't the vibe.

But it is. Our lives are perfect. We help you answer your problems. We do. They seem stressful. You guys are leading some trouble. lives. Through the fog step forth

the trusty hogs yeah you're gonna give them your problems and they will solve them or maybe they won't and that's your problem they'll have guests and Andrew White on the tech

oh it's Helen and Catherine as the trusty hogs trust the trusty hongs or maybe not um helen yes ma'am hi hi in the sweetest move ever you just try to tell me that because your top is lucy and yak it's gay coded when it is in fact dear listener long-sleeved lilac frilly sleeves frilly base yes um crop top yes it's giving heterosexual to me no no no no yes baby girl but i love this color on you i love this color on you it's divine i did my first ever lucy and yack shop ever how did you manage to find the only straight girl top on I'm like, no, no, there's nothing there is straight, nothing there is straight. Everything is clear-coded and loose. Bullshit.

These jeans are Lucieniac. I've got another pair of- They're queer-coded. Why, though? Because they're high-waisted. They're a darker denim because they go well with your boots. Okay, great. There's like a decent-sized pocket on there. You're not trying to cram any keys in.

That is like a proper, you know, I can see you having keys hanging off those, you know, whereas this is giving. brunch with the girlies. This is, I'm figuring out my sexuality still. I'm wearing Doc Martins. I've got on full Lucy and yak. Oh my God, look at you. Thank you.

Did you do it on purpose as like a queer move? Well, um. Yes! Is it cringe to say yes? No, it's not cringe at all. That's so nice. I was a bit like, let me go on the website because I've seen a lot more like people with my body shape, like post that are buying stuff there.

And I was like, oh, okay, maybe they do, because you just, oh, I just, oh, I. It's always been good on sizes, especially in the dungarees. That's the thing. I don't think, so spoken to a couple of queer people, obviously still on my journey, but the understanding I have is, as someone who is like exploring bisexuality but hasn't actually been with a woman in bed, I'm allowed to wear Lucy and yak with pride, but you can't wear caha until you get licked. so until I've gone downtown

Kaha is off limits and then you get your first beanie from Kaha or like... Yeah, you don't even have to order that they send it out in the post And I think the first time you make them squirt you get the dungarees I'm assuming

I'm assuming I must please jump in the community we'd love to hear from you The community is collectively sighing Sorry, the community is like And then the carabina comes If I may, I don't have a carabiner. I don't have any Carhart. It's crazy, because you've done the, you know what I mean?

Yeah, I've been around 10, for sure, all the way down and everything. But I guess I date Carhart more than I buy Carhart, you know. Okay, and it's two Carhart's. You can have two Carhart, but it's not my general modus operandi. What's the femme, like, version of Carhart? What's the, like, femme identifier for? Queerness? Is there Astrid and Mew piercings all up the ear?

I guess I do have those cover about mine are from Sacred Gold. Apologies. So, yeah. No, it's a lot of piercings, for sure. You're right. I think it's also like colored eyeliner. Yes. And listen, I think there's a lot of feming of what like

our traditionally thought of as masks. So like I'll get the femme but, uh, femme duck martens. I do. What are the, which are the femme doc martin? You can tell when you walk in. Come on. You know which ones are the femme ones are the colourful ones no just like the thicker platform sometimes or like or the paint and leather which which ones which ones have I got these are the Chelsea boot um I'd say femme a Chelsea boot is just about femme Doc Martin I'm a femme but I would say it's like giving practical

femme yeah well I do like to be cut I wore these to the wedding like I'm wearing solomons but they're lilac so there we go Solomon this is a hiking shoe oh always a trail shoe a trail shoe yeah sometimes it's a long journey downtown am I right

oh my god you've never been and you can tell it's the quickest elevator down my other guy what else I guess

a lot of like you know boyfriend shirts and then it's hard to know tousel's hair a lot of like kilt material

tousel wait wait wait what I feel like gay femes do tartin gay femmes do tartin okay Quite well at the moment in particular.

Oh, great to know. I think good tights. Good tights as gay to me. It's not as clear a branding as car heart, is it? It's not. It's not. And that is the struggle. That is the femme struggle is constantly being like, do I look gay enough?

We should totally figure out a thing. Like, we should be the voice of it. I don't know that you should be the voice. I should be the voice of the new feminine clothing. I love that you got here five seconds ago and you're like, it feels like I should represent all of this. What I want you to do is worry less about the branding. Yeah, sorry.

And more about the, like, the doing. Yes, the doing. Get out there and do, baby girl. Hey, my hinge settings are changed. Obviously, we're respected people's privacy. We'll do this in the extras. Can we talk about it in the extras? Yes, we can talk about the extras?

Can I look? Can I look on the extra? Okay, you can look, but not much has changed. It's the last time you looked. Okay, but I can see who's coming up. See if I know any of them. You can see who's coming. Yeah, but you're going to know everyone.

That's the problem. I can't wait. The web of London. London Quill. This, it makes me more nerve. this. No, but I can tell you if they're any good in bed.

They should be nervous at you. But I don't want. I don't want us having that sort of a crossover friendship-wise. What, then you will never be able to be gay in London or the UK, my love. Every lesbian has a friend who's with the same lesbian as them.

Every single one. Yeah. God, you girls take a pounding, huh? Okay, that's a very judgmental statement. And also, if I may, hard to at one moment be our representative but on the other hand say you girls do you mean us girls

I'm lost in my identity though so please be respectful I know wives who've slept with multiple the same people wait what does that mean I know like married lesbians who between them have slept with lots of the same people stop it's just like queer culture

there's not enough of us to go around Helen come on that's the thing well there's more and more right yeah fingers crossed with the girly wellies like me being like I bought Lucy and yak Am I one of you? You are going to have to choose between queer and girly-whirley, I'm afraid.

Quirley-whirley? Quirley-whirley. That's your random... That is your sexuality. Because I can't leave my hampshire, girlie-whirley roots. No, you can't. I mustn't. Quirley-wurly is your sexuality.

Crowley. Oh my God, am I the first one? Do I have anyone else in my group? I'd love to... I'd love to have a couple of friends. I don't know if any other quirley-whirley-whirleys. if anyone went to school with me I've met a couple of women at weddings

who've been like I've just been divorced and they seem like queerly-whorlies but I don't know that they're committed okay but they're more like older they're probably like sex in the clitty you know sex in the clitty

sex in the clitty no I just don't have fun with words I tried my first pun and you all hated it you all hated it in my head I was like they're gonna love this M and Andrew are going to say

that's a clip And then you all went, oh, I don't know, yeah, that word plays you're saying. No, it's not, but we all, you know what, it's important to climb mountains you haven't climbed before. I wish you would apply this also to add to the actual sex and the clitty. I have no sexual confidence, though. Is it? Here's my question. Sex in the city or sex and the city? And the city.

Yeah, because people say in the city a lot. I said in the city. apologize to everyone. Sex and the clitty. Is it funnier then? No. But all this girly-wurly chats for many way need lip glosses.

Oh, stop. Now, that is quirly-whirly, no? That's full quirly-whirly culture. Also, is lip-gloss back in? Because I love lip-gloss. It's obviously bum. It's obviously bomb. I think I might have a lip-gloss in my...

No, I don't. I took it out. Damn it. Sorry, everybody. Oh, I know this lip-warned. To leave for lip balm. Yeah, it's really terrible podcast. But that's just, you're here now.

I needed it. I needed it. Celebrate quirly, whirly culture with us. Question. Yeah. How's your week been? It's been lovely, Catherine. What's been up to? Gigs.

Really good gigs, actually. I've been absolutely charmed recently by the audiences of the UK. Oh, really? Tell me more. Just gorgeous. Sorry, I'm surprised. Really? I also did have three nights in a row where I was blessed by the gods of the middle. So I was going on, which if anyone doesn't know it, it's like, it's famously like the best spot to go on at.

Not as far as pay, but like, it's just easier. Oh, it's a dream. The openers warm them up. The emcees won't up. They're into the rhythm of the gig. On you go. There's not even so late that they're worried about work the next morning. Boom, done.

Don't mind if I do. And then I did four gigs on Tuesday. Huh? Four on a Tuesday night in London. What's the need? Can I guess? Can I guess? Can I guess?

Yeah, yeah. Okay. I mean, it's pretty simple. Are we looking at a 99 club? 1.99? Are we looking at a boat show? No. Are we looking at a comedy store, a charity game?

We're not, no, no, no. Oh, are we looking at, gosh, hang on. Where can you do, like, three gigs every week night? Top secret. Bing, Andrew wins. Wow. Three top secrets, one 99 club. Huh.

And I was opening everywhere apart from 99, because I couldn't make it in time to open, so I was in the middle. But I was like, here, this is my punishment. for having it so easy for so long. And so did you do anything except a gig? I went with Emma Black to watch guys and dolls. I hate when stories started because it's like,

when you invite me because it was guys and dolls and I wouldn't want to go. And also because there's Helen Bauer and Emma Black's musical birthday extravaganza that happens twice a year. And I think only a couple of times other people. I think Lee came when we were 18 and we started up on a cue. I wouldn't want that. I wouldn't want to go.

No, because we always do it for our birthdays. It's special. And we saw Guys and Dolls. we were absolutely enchanted. Now guys and dolls, is that the one with the sharks and the jets? I hate you. I do hate you sometimes.

Is it not? Because I do make an effort with some of your things. West Side Story. Okay, and guys and dolls is not anything to do as West Side Story? No, there's nothing to do with West Side Story. Luck be a lady tonight.

Luck be a lady tonight. And so what is it? It's a musical. What's that when? Chicago in the 20s, 30s. Yeah, Prohibition. Okay. And what's the prohibition? Okay. And what's the story?

Okay. Oh, it's so good. Okay. Nathan Detroit is trying to get a crap game going. Follow Chicago. Nathan, but his name is Nathan Detroit. I was just joking. Oh.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Please be respectful. Sorry, Andrew, but this does kiss me off because I feel like... I'm disengaging for my own personal. And I understand that. Do you know what I mean? I listen to... Andrew leaves his body for his own safety.

I listen to your podcast. I watch Twin Flames, you know? I watch... that golf Netflix show. I thought it was the one with the... Okay, I was wrong. Go on. Nathan Detroit is trying to get a crap game going.

A crap game? A crap game. It's like a dice gambling game. Yeah. Thank you, Andrew. Crap. It's funny. It is funny.

You get how I have an issue. Go on. But he doesn't have a venue for it. And then his partner Adelaide is like desperate to marry him. She's like constantly going on to him to get married. It all gets a bit confusing. But alongside this, he makes. makes a bet was Sky Masterson, who, and he's like, well, you can have a venue for the crap game and

you can pay me back this money, which means he could be able to pay for the wedding, if you take any doll I point out for dinner in Havana, Cuba, right? And then he's like, who should, well, yeah, I can do it. I'm so fucking fit. I'm Sky Masterson. I can take anyone. And then he points out a woman, Sarah Brown, who wait for this. She's a street preacher. She's not going to go with a man. She doesn't know to Havana, but she does. You really lost me on the deal. Sorry, can I just circle back? Yes. Sky has to take anybody out.

Has to take a woman of Nathan's choosing for dinner in Havana. And in exchange, what does a venue for the crap game? Sky has a, wants to run a crap game. No, Sky can offer a venue and

money because he loves a bet to Nathan who needs money and a venue for the crap game. But he's both giving the money in the venue and has to do the dating. No, no. So Sky is fronting the money in the venue. And if he wins the bet, Nathan has to double his money. Right.

So Sky is basically given an advance on the money. Have I said this wrong? For Nathan to get a venue for the crap game, he doesn't have any money so he can't get a venue for it. But Sky has money. Yeah. so to why am i now confused why does he also have to go on the day what's the exchange he both has to provide the money and do the dare because sky loves bats okay so is this a separate

bet okay no i've i've cleared it up in my head i'm so sorry let me start all over again i'm now confused and katherine has confused me with her riddle so basically um there's a big big crap game and there's a big like high roller coming into town so he needs the crap game because it's going to be a lot of income fine um all the venues are out except the back of a garage but to use the garage he has to spend he has to bribe the owner a hundred dollars fine he doesn't have the hundred dollars he gets the he thinks how am i going to get the hundred dollars i'll make a bet that sky can't win so that sky has to give me the hundred dollars thank you okay so then he so he goes like oh i bet you can't take any doll to havana and it's sarah brown and but she's like

a street preacher super religious super serious and they're like well you like this doll's not going to go with this guy. Do you get it? Guys and dolls. It's all very clever. Crap and brand. Yeah. It does go together. Go on. But then at the same time, the head of the street preaching organization is like Sarah Brown, I'm going to shut down your street preaching organization because, because it's actually not in Chicago. It is in New York. I just remember because they're on Broadway. Apologies to everyone there. Because you don't get enough reprobates in. You're not changing. enough lives so you can't be in charge of this like street preaching team right but she she

loves street preaching in new york and she believes she can make a difference right so she needs reprobates so sky masterton says i know loads of reprobates i know gamblers and drinkers and drinkers and drinkers and drinkers and drinkers and drinkers and what is his surname sky masterson okay he's like i know loads of reprobate reprobates and drinkers and gamblers and i can get them all in if you come for dinner with me in Havana. So it's deals of fun, deals of fun, deal.

Anyway, needless to say, it all ends happily ever after. They fall in love. Everyone, yeah. That's nice.

Does he ever marry the partner who is like, Adelaide, yeah. Adelaide gets to get married. Yeah. That's good. Apology.

Andrew. Andrew's phone went off. We know the listener at home can't hear it and they always think we give a big reaction, but it is fun for us. It's also in you, in the room, it's really,

it's honestly, it's very distracting. It was a ghostly, it is a very gaucheousous. ring tone, text tone. My friends once realized that my phone wasn't in silent during history class

and they spam loads of messages and we're just there listening to the teaching and my friends are going boi-wah, boi-wa-wah, and I'm like you haven't changed it since history class? That's what I was thinking.

Your reference is history class you're so young that your reference as history class. What time it's called? Grow up. Jesus. And you know what history he was learning about? The tamagotchi.

That's what's upsetting. It's like when people are like I'm doing my history project on Beanie Babies and you're like, fucking do one. We genuinely did cover, Gordon Brown in history, so. I'm going to throw something at him really quickly. You can edit this out.

I missed. That was appalling. That was like an inch away from a shoulder. Between that throw and your lilac top, I feel like, yikes, maybe you are a straight girl. Hi. It was good to hang out with them. Did she love it?

Yeah. Because you surprised her, right? Yeah, she didn't know. She wanted to be surprised this year. not know what musical look she was going to see but i did really double double double check she'd never seen it and she loved her and i knew one of the guys and oh that's so nice um he was i was like watching with emma and this guy came out and he was playing nathan detroit let the lead what i was like oh my god i think i know him that's owain that's owen and he's nicest guy but i know him from

when i used to work in the espresso bar at the national theater in like 2012 he worked on a hot dog van outside wow i know he's the lead in guys of don't. Isn't that crazy? That's such a sick story. I came out the theatre and I was like, I'm going to, I think I'm so sure it's him. I looked him up and I messaged him on Instagram and he was like, oh my God, this is crazy. And I was like, yeah, I was internet and I said like, amazing congratulations with success. Like, this is mad. Like this is not the hot dog van. He was like, yeah, it's not the hot dog van. He's the nice, and he's so talented. They all are. That's so cool. That's so cool. Yeah, you got to hand it to musical theater kids. Those,

Guys are talented. And I got all the warm feels from being like, oh, you're doing. You're doing something huge and you wanted to do it. And I remembered when you weren't getting to do it. Yeah. What have you been up to? Okay. So you had guys and dolls. What have I been up to?

Honestly, Helen, I've been batch cooking. Love that for you. Tis the autumn. So I've been doing a lot of batch cooking. I've been really enjoying my local corner shops. Does it have the appeal of guys and dolls? No. Have I become.

absolutely enamored with my local corner shop. Do you mean a news agent? Such is its quality that I brought M on a specific trip to the corner shop because I was like, wait till you see the pasta aisle. There's not a pasta aisle. There's a pasta aisle

and it is high quality stuff. We're talking like it is beautiful stuff. Shut the fuck up. It's the kind of place where you're like which almond spread shall I buy? Which pistachio paste would I like? It's just unreal. Can you set the scene quickly?

We're talking like, not just orange and apple juice. We're talking peach juice. We're talking nectarine juice. We're talking all the fresh fruit and veg. It is, but honestly, the weird mix about this place is that is an unbelievably systemized, beautiful, beautiful produce in a shop that has a very, like, luminous sign outside. And you're like, oh, I don't know if this is right. Like, it doesn't really look very appealing from the outside.

And matched with their incredible, incredible array of like just like endless, every spice you could ever possibly want. I love this a bit. we were saying this and it makes us point a lot which is like in london in a corner shop you can genuinely get the most amazing stuff the spa in dublin my god not the case maybe it's changed a bit now but it wasn't the case when um you could barely get frozen food anyway it's all very exciting but it is matched by an unparalleled poor quality of service um there we go it is a really glorious mix of like everything you could possibly

ever wish to buy. A selection of nut butter somewhere where you used to just get a dusty chocolate bar. Yeah. Feels incredible. But for example the last time, the time before last when I was there, instead of saying hello, the man of the counter burped. So...

Wait, wait, wait, wait. He just burped. You walked in and you went an afternoon, he went, no. I got to the top of the queue. And he's a bleh. And then unmoved, doesn't follow up with a hello just dares me because that's the other thing, they don't speak

except to say if you take too long to pay card they don't speak no hello, no amount no can I get you a bag nothing. What did she do when he bathed? Well do you want the honest answer? Yes! I said Ellen!

And she was outside and because we had some Sainsbury's bags and I don't like, well she doesn't like, she's so nice to bring the Sainsbury's bag into the corner shop because she doesn't like them to think that we ever been to Sainsbury. Yeah, it's really weird. She's a very loyal guy.

But then I made her a swap because I couldn't cope. Are you glad you asked? Ellen! A hundred percent. I want a good corner shop. I've been to some. Incredible.

There used to be one in Nunhead called Skyns. I don't know if it's still there and it was amazing. Really? Absolutely. Just the selections were brilliant. My one of the moment's not.

not it it's it it's got your basics that you need if it's just the sake of like just at the corner shop but like it's like eight different types of wheat free bread that's mental of like pumpery knickles and it's just like heaven it's heaven must be busy to like it's yeah it's like there's always somebody in there but it's not rammed it's so so so how many aisles i'm gonna guess eight and every space taken every every it's always inch of the wall is covered in spices and nuts and seeds and fruit and veg and okay next time i'm coming over can you take me on a little trippy it's so nice yeah yeah i can i'd love to feel like corner shop culture i bought really bougie baked beans for em in there that's the kind of thing we're

talking like bougie beans what like in a can in a glass jar shut the fuck up yeah that's that's unsettling to see the beans in glass i've seen that before it's horrible with like peppers and onions i'm assuming No, like baked beans As in like in a tomato sauce Yeah, yeah, yeah Just delightful Stop it Yeah

I'd love to be sponsored by the bold bean co We have given them free advertisement right now And to be fair they were delicious They look delicious Well I can't advertise them yet Because I haven't tried them Please do send them forward Yeah we'd love to try them

The bold bean co Yeah so that's what I've been And the other thing I've been up to this week is weirdly I can't know I didn't mention this earlier when you were talking about being a Quirley Whirley. I'm a Qualley Wernie. I have met a bunch recently of

posh lesbians from Hampshire. Quallie Wally Wally's? No, but they all went to B-Dales. Is that a place? B-Dales. It's school? It's a school, but I don't... Like, where in Hampshire is it? Beedles? A posh bit? B-Dales. B-Dales. B-Dales. B-Dales. Petersfield. Petersfield. Charming. And is it a girl's school? Yeah. And it's like... I think. I think. I think. I think.

I think a lot of like, I feel like Cara Delavine and Laura Marling and other people like that went. Is Laura Marling? Is that how I'm saying her name? They're singer. Yeah. And I feel like somebody else. I'm going to Google it. Oh my gosh.

I was searching on the Wikipedia for alumni, alumni. It's one of the schools where they've got old badalions rather than alumni. Kirsty Alsop? Curstie Allsop. Lily Allen. Who? Lily Allen. Lily Allen.

It's that kind of energy. Do you know what I'm saying? Oh my, yeah, I'm looking at the life. Charles Brandreth. Behave. Is it mixed? I guess it used to be mixed, yeah. Or maybe it is still, I don't know.

Oh, shut up as Daniel Day Lewis pot. Wait, is Daniel Day Lewis? Yeah, he went there. Okay. I don't know who this is. This isn't a celebrity. It's some academic, but the name is Battiscomb gun. That's a great name.

That's incredible. Wait, so wait, wait. How did a young woman from Clon Silla? Yeah, no, my girlfriend's on a football team and so they're a real mix of footballing lesbians. And please tell me you were charmed by the Hampshire girlies. Well, I didn't realize how pos she was until she said where she went and who else had gone there

and the names of her family of her classmates which were like all like Mipsy and tipsy and onwards. Flopsy Mopsy, Mipsy Tipsy. Genuinely. And this is Bunting. Have you listened to dangerous members? Memories? Dangerous memories. No, it's downloaded. I'm ready to go because you told me to listen to it. But I stopped myself because I listened to Kill List and I was like, I'm going to lose my mind. Everyone in dangerous memories is called like flopsy, mopsie, tipsy, tipsy. Like it's Mipsy. They're genuinely. And this one's called Nipple. There's always a bigger one with a slightly off name. Do you know what I mean? Like a slightly off. Like, hello?

Like in Miranda when they call her King Kong Do they? Yeah I think maybe she went there Maybe she didn't Maybe she's Hampshire Maybe that was a different school But you liked them

Oh I just If I may Based on everything I know about Hampshire And I don't get No please don't be offended But I didn't really know Hampshire Had Posh bit Yeah

I'm from that Yeah So So the only bit I kind of have heard about Hampshire's fleet and the services. Yes. And you talk about the services like they're the thing in Hampshire. Oh no, South Hampshire's are definitely, fleet is its own. So I was sort of surprised to find, yeah, I was surprised to find quite such like Toffs.

I think it goes very upper class below Winchester is what I've always thought. And then my area is just, yeah, I think upper middle class. middle class, middle class, I'd say. Fleet, Basingstoke, Farnborough, Oldershot. All pretty posh still. Some parts of it. My fleet is a posh town. That's a conservative posh town.

There's a lot of military in that sort of corridor as well, especially Aldershot. Oh, all military and Oldershot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oldershot, probably not as posh. Where did I do my tour show? Oldershire. I loved it there. Oldershot.

We called it Aldershirt. I loved it there. That was one of my favorite audiences on tour. They were such a fun run. sick they are fun and well there you go anyway I thought you maybe would know more about Bidale's than you did but it turns out you didn't really and that's okay

now we know we know where Kirstie also went to school New Forest is in Hampshire mm-hmm oh I've been to the new forest you've got to Hampshire all the time oh yeah we've got wild ponies it's the god's godson county and wild cake it's beautiful the birds are incredible thank you very much

that's Hampshire yes oh I love it there oh that is full of posh people yeah yes but that's south of Winchester also fleet's posh I'm posh are you

100% I'm definitely middle class up really I feel like I've said this before I can never figure it out in English accents because everybody sounds sort of posh but also sort of not but then I think it's so then I have to use other cues

and those cues are usually like the best thing about the place I grew up was a place called fleet services and then you're like oh okay so no it is it isn't famously always top the list of best service stations in the country

we slipped recently but we used to be in the top three pretty regularly who's taken over there's so many better services Gloucester's better Cobham's better T-bay obviously very iconic T-Bay's the best T-bay's the bomb T-bay I would drive to just to go to T-Bey-B

we had a fire and it changed oh god you're okay no all right yeah I'm fine I'm fine so busy week I'm I

should we bring on our guests to stop in it around yeah of course but I just shout out to people who went to private school I'm sorry if you were sent to boarding school when you were eight I've watched documentaries

and it was very sad I think it's harrowing harrowing harrow no but they do pry themselves I do think it's a problem I think it's like a weirdly like supervised neglect

but you're like to say that on that's a really good phrase it just seems so harsh. It's just frightening. Frightening. Also, why have you had them if you just want to pack them off? Yeah, horrible.

I just think, yikes. That's why when I have kids, they won't be packed off there. They'll go to Auntie Catherine. But homework time. You've offered, so don't even try taking that back. I think that I, what I was saying in that context was that you'll be to my kids, fun, Auntie Helen, and I'll be like, has everyone you in their homework? Which, to be fair.

Projects are due. Let's spend time and Auntie Catherine. Yes. She'll do it for. Yeah, mine. No, leave it's not right. So listen. Yeah, no, I do. I think I think I've learned loads about Hampshire today. For example, that I've been there more than I thought I did. Girly Wellies, Quirley Wellies. We'd love to hear from our Hampshire listeners. Have you seen the picture I sent in the WhatsApp group?

Huh? Stop. Why would we be on our phones mid-episode? We're always on our phones mid-episode. I'm not always on my phone. No, me neither. What? Did you just make this now? Yeah, yeah. I was editing that. That is your dating profile. That's your dating profile of my press shot from like two years ago on the hogs background with the curly-whirley with the words quirly-roarly on it instead.

We'll put it on our Instagram. That's so hot. Wait, can I put that on my hinge? You made that. Yes, you have to. You were very, that was very productive while you blanked out during that conversation about guys and dolls. I'm very impressed. Thank you.

You're amazing. That's what we call a man who does his homework before the class is even finished and asks for more. That's my boy. A pleasure to teach. We should hear from another man. Oh, come on. Segway. Segway.

Hmm. Congong. Never been said before on this. I love that. It's a feature. Oh, yay. I love it. You do it, you do it.

No, only you. I'll say segue. Okay, go. Say it, say it. Well, we haven't done it naturally now. Okay, okay. If it comes up. Okay.

Okay. But more importantly, let's welcome to the podcast. Oh, okay. Yeah. Our wonderful guest, Shane Daniel Byrneau! Woo-Hong, Hong Kong. I earned my degree online at Arizona State University. I chose to get my degree at ASU because I knew that I'd get a quality education.

They were recognized for excellence and that I would be prepared for the workforce upon graduating. To be associated with ASU, both as a student and alum, it makes me extremely proud. And having experienced the program, I know now. that I'm set up for success. Learn more at ASUonline. www.asu.org. I mean, www.

You know. Hello Shane Daniel Byrne, how are you? I'm so good. Fresh off the plane. I'm literally fresh. Like, I'm kind of gross, to be honest. I put on the little jacket to be like a bit more presentable. But I am full of plain body.

Plain juice. Juice. Yeah, I wanted to say juice. And then I was like, it's very early for juice. No, say juice. Why not? I can say juice. Okay, thank you.

Yeah. I'm full of plain body. juice. How was the plane you know the way you use give advice to people and stuff? Yeah.

I just want to say my advice already is that if you have a problem just ask someone to fix it because I was worried about this thing. I was like there's not enough time for me to go

to my show after this. What am I going to do? And then I just asked you can we change it? And these both just said yeah, that's no problem. It was sorted in, you know everyone means.

Sorry, that's such a hilarious Irish thing to be like obviously what I needed was a minor change but I acted as though that was going to be a massive inconvenience to everyone and all involved and it actually probably is more likely that the world would

end than we could possibly fix this. Is it, is Irishness the disease I have? Because I was like, what, I need to be diagnosed with something about like, I'm going to sit with this and worry about this for several days. Yeah,

that is Irishness. Like in the bed at night. You don't want to inconvenience anyone. You don't want to, we don't really like to let anyone down. The fear of being difficult, the fear of being a nuisance. That's all like.

Especially in London. Oh my God. Can you imagine? Over here in the United Kingdom. As an English past, we have eight meetings beforehand. With this diagnosis. thing, so I'm just going to say, yeah, you're both

fucking riddled, but that's up to you to decide. We don't have to pathologise any further. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you've come over because you have a show tonight, where? In the Underbelly, Soho. Charming. Cool. Are you doing your show from Edinburgh? Yes. How exciting. This is kind of the first night of the tour,

even though the tour starts in January. Oh, you're just doing one now? In October. One is one in London. That's great, though. And are you excited? I am. It's so nice. I've done a show one, solo show in London. I'm a coward about coming over to London to do gigs and stuff. Why? I don't know. I just put it on the long finger so bad. I'm like, oh no, they'll all be so great over

there. I wouldn't. I'm just like, I haven't, oh no, don't mind me. They won't, they wouldn't get me. I'm like, I just should do it. Oh, good. 80% of us are useless. Is that the truth? Absolutely useless. It looks so good online. It looks so slick. I know it's very strict of time. Oh, we edit and we add in laughs. Oh, you must know. You know people do do that. No, I do. I do. I got told the other day. Yes. Yes. So there is a,

there's a pandemic of people putting clips of their stand-up comedy online. People are adding canned laughter. I asked Mikey about it. So Mikey does our clips for this podcast. It's real. I knew you freak out. Because I said,

have you heard anything about people adding laughter? And he was like, what are you talking about? I've had some people talking recently about like they get the clip. So you film yourself in a club and then you get the clip. Shut.

And then she's like editing in laughs and claps. Yeah. And he was like, we're not going to do that with you. And I was like, no. No. I mean, but now I'm like, who?

I did, I, because I had to do clips of people. I did that once. They were like, can you take the laugh from here and put it here instead? Amazing. So it was their laugh, but it was, you know. Was that me? No, no, wasn't it? Woo!

Oh my God! What? Yeah, I'm going to do it. I'm absolutely riveted by the fact that you've been here five minutes and you're here to me now. I'd like to tell you what they're up to London. The show tonight? Yeah.

Are you nervous to perform in French people? To dance for the king? I'm nervous about it because I haven't done. done it in a few, in like six weeks, and I'm just convinced I'm going to get up and forget every word. Even though, of course, you won't. Or even if you do forget, you remember one second later, but I'm convinced I'm going to go up and just make a show myself. But I like that kind of energy as well. I think that's good high stake. Yeah, yeah. When you forget a bit and then something different comes out, it can be amazing. Marve, I love a random thing

happening. Yeah. Like, I spilled my drink one time. It was one of the best gigs in my line. Really? Like, I just love that kindness, like a full pint. Top to bottom. It was just. got and then like I mean but then they are all delighted the audience loved that kind of thing yeah okay great but was it all over you no it just it was on a little ledge and then it fell on the floor but the place was filthy on anyway so it was fine yeah it was a comedy club we get it yeah yeah I will say the ceiling started to fall in once when I was gigging in the Pleasance in Edinburgh I was there for that show an electric gig to be fair because I was blaspheming a lot so when the

ceiling starts to fall on oh yeah oh god you do think fair enough who was upstairs um ooh it's a no one no one bunker just the big man yeah okay that's the big man um so wait so i need to go back what airline did we take over i flew air lingis ladies good for you and i i am not doing the whiner it's it's a false what's the we learned we learned to em business solutions through a false economy it's not cheaper it ends up not a lost leader something like that i don't know no not wait what is a false economy then you think you're getting a good deal you think you're getting a saving but actually they'll rinse you every way which way as you go so you don't and you have to come in further i landed in beautiful

Heathrow. Gorgeous. I mean, stunning. You follow the blue signs to the train. It's all very organized. I do feel like

when I come here, I do feel like, like Irish people who moved over here in the 70s. I'm like, look at London. Would you look at that? The size of the place. And they're very well organized.

Or you know when someone's mom visits London and they're like, it was absolutely seamless. We got off the plane. We were on the train in notes five minutes. You were downtown. You were downtown. Think of it.

I do feel such a small town boy when I come here. Do you so like, kick your? heels and take your sort of like I'm like I'm ready for you London what have you got you know what I mean I'm like I'm gonna take I'm gonna become a star you know the kind of thing it's honestly you say that but my parents still every time I pick them up from the airport when they come to London have dressed in their best for the plane oh I love they dress up for the plane it's so pure it is just so gorgeous I saw one the other day these girls at TikTok these girls brought their granddad on a plane to Erlingus to New York and then Erlingus found out and they gave them first class and the granddad he's 85 and he had full shirt and tie for the plane to New York

I love it I do I know it's great and we're liberated and you know the church we're not a theocracy anymore but I do like when men used to dress up and have a hat I know all men had a hat which they would take off in mass

because you show respect to the Lord by your head my mother's father he used if he passed them if they were walking up the road to home and he was going out somewhere he would dot his cap to his own daughter to his own daughters

whose own children and that's all he wouldn't say hello he would just acknowledge them salute them with the cap oh it's charming and it's given

undiagnosed autism as well I'm not looking at you I'm looking down and it's a sign of respect to this day and age which I also appreciate so I think undiagnosed autism is the answer

to all of the mysteries of the past yeah a lot of them oh that's what that was grant a lot of it is neurodivergence unnamed yeah

for sure for sure yeah yeah so and or indeed homosexuality unnamed if I may, if we may. Yes, indeed. So you're over it. That's exciting. And then we do a couple of other gigs while you're here. I'm just doing the London Irish Centre. Have you ever done a gig? Oh my God, you're hitting all the big spots. I'm just going to play Soho and then the London Irish Centre.

The London Irish Centre, it was set up for all the people who moved here and emigrated here. Is that Hammersmith or Camden? Camden. There's two. I've done the Hammersmith one weirdly. Really? I got off to do it ages ago and I was like, yeah, why not? It reminds me of you know in Harry Potter when they go to that secret house that opens up from. all the other houses. Yes, yes, yes, yes. It reminds me of that, but, like, it's not for the order

of the Phoenix, it's for the Republic of Ireland. Yeah. That is just, you're in London, and you get off the train, and then it's like, come in here,

come in here, you'll be safe in here. Because they all have to be looked after years ago. Yeah, yeah. Although men used to move over here and they also live in Cricklewood and then they all kept drinking

and then they were too ashamed to ever go home. They were drinking, desperate sounds. Yeah, there was a whole generation of Irish men, they worked on construction and roads and stuff,

but they all got sad, This is a bit sad for a comedy podcast. And you're at the top of the motorway has probably got a big Irish grouping. And in that, I moved to Kilburn just up the road from Cricklewood. And when I first moved to London, I couldn't believe that everyone over 70

in London, as I understood it, but it was just Kilburn, it turns out, was Irish. Did they have shirts on Tide? Unfortunately not, but I tell you what, I did walk into the Sainsbury's, and I was like, oh, Sainsbury. That was exciting. Cueing up, woman in front of me,

probably 87 if she was a day, whips out her. Honestly, I think ironed. so neatly folded was it, bag from Duns. It must have come over with her 60 years ago and I was like,

for fucks it? Have I moved? Have I moved at all? Oh, that's adorable. I know I went to an Irish pub and tooting when I lived there and they served cheese toasties

and I was told that was an Irish thing. They call it, do you know what a toasted special is? No. So that's how cheese and onion. And tomato. That's a toasted special.

Okay. If you ask for a toasted special, that's what that is I used to work in a bar and if you ask for a pint of special that's a smithex ale with a Guinness head no thank you that's a more rural thing but it's a very rural thing

wait so are they just topping it like you do like a smithics you try not to get much head on it oh oh as the actress said to the bishop you try not to do that and but yeah you can kind of if you like finick the finagle the Guinness tap

you'll get a Guinness head on top of a Middick's red ale. Wow. It's a fascinating country. What a culture. What have we talked about. Sadness and drink. There we go.

I know. So quick. My girlfriend came to my brother's wedding and have I told you about this about when you want the weather to be good for an Irish wedding, you put out the child of Prague. Yes. So there's this religious statue you put it out and the more beat up your child of Prague statue is the better and more likely it is you'll have good weather for the wedding. So it is common decency to kick the head off somebody else's child of Prague

if you see it because a headless one's the best But you can't behead your own Anyway, more battered to the child the better And you put it outside And that will hopefully determine the weather of your wedding You get a sunny day, yeah And it's Jesus, but he's a child But he's also something to do with Prague

Yeah And you want to kick him But not your own I didn't know that you're supposed to kick other people The more battered the better the better Yeah The more battered the statue of the child is The better for the wedding day

Yeah for the weather what a culture but so this happened and so my brother my dad's a deacon they were like give a speech

but could you cool along the Jesus talk for the speech my dad very bravely does not mention God but he does say I don't need to because look at the weather

outside I think the child of Prague has made my point and I therefore had to explain to my English girlfriend what the child of Prague meant which obviously was like a long segue

oh so it's a statue and it makes the weather good but in saying it all and it was referenced so many times in the speeches I realized afterwards and it was my brother to be fair who said it to me which is like there's some things we just shouldn't tell the English because it's like it's too

it feeds into a stereotype too which is like we have to pretend we're not like that but we are yeah but there's some things where you're like we can tell like Spanish people and stuff like that yeah they'll be on the level they understand yeah they're actually mad they're not they are they do things like they're so religious statues of Jesus around the streets

and all cheer and throw stuff at like they are they're actually not like you lot like you lot don't do that yeah but ours is more misery based and like shame whereas theirs is like celebrate jesus they're much more fiesta vibes yeah you're right they're having fun with baby jesus that have kicking it in the head because your neighbors put one out and you're like shit get it you just kick the price for the weather for the weather makes total sense to me what else do you not want to tell us i'll be safe i'll be a safe space for you what's your favorite irish tradition that we usually don't mention there's some things that feel Irish that aren't and one of them

is the credit union the credit union it's like it's like for your community it's like a bank but it's a non-profit and your money in there is not called your money it's called shares and if you want

to get your kitchen done or if you have the kids uniforms in September or whatever it is you take a loan from the credit union and if you have say you have 500 pounds in there that's your shares and if you need 400 pounds they'll give you a loan straight away like that if it's within your shares

no problem you guarantee your own loan they just give it to you straight away and the interest is like nothing yeah just the real Irish

it feels Irish there's a load there's always ladies and they still have scarves you know like from the bank used to wear scarves they all still have those

and that's good one second yeah just okay so you you've got your money but you don't want to put it in a bank

you want to put it in and you don't want to take out any of your money ever for some reason you only take loans and pay it back slowly to yourself okay but so you want to keep your money for yourself but if you're not going to put it in a bank

but you're like you know what it'll be safer let's give it to the lady with a scarf okay so you go to her house no it looks like a little bank single level building yeah one level building so you go to a bungalow you go to a bungalow bank and there's like three women in scarfs in there

yeah and you say how's it going I'd like to give you a hundred euro for shares. And now they do like a lot of clicking and looking up on the system. Okay.

System, the system. Yeah, the system's pretty important. And then if you need a hundred euro at any point you go in and say, I've got 100 shares, can I have 100 euro? And they give it to you.

No, you take out a loan for 100 euro. Okay. You'd leave your shares in there. Why? That's exactly the point. That's what it's all about because then other people

can share your money or something. And they do, the best bit is they, Jesus is uninvolved for the most part, but they do a draw. So this is the most famous part. So every day, is it every month they do the draw?

I think so. So it's just a little lottery and somebody wins money every, every month. In the community. Yeah. If you're in the credit union, yeah. I know this guy who, people used to set up a credit union for a baby. When there's a new baby, you set up a credit union. Oh, like when people put like a MAKA.

Yeah, yeah. So then this boy, he had won from when he was a baby. And then when he was 17, he won seven grand. And because he was 17, he bought a moped immediately. Oh, for Foxy. No, but pretty amazing. But pretty cool. If you didn't have any access to get a moped

and then you have one and you're 17, like that is living. That is sick. So long lived a credit union and may God bless it. May God bless it. I'm sure Jesus is involved somewhere with a credit union. He must be. There's got to be a patron. Well, there's a credit union.

A lot of it is like hands. Oh yeah, so there we go. So sharing. He's got the whole world in his credit union hands. Oh, that's Jesus. With a good heterosexual family in the middle. That is a real nuclear family. Yes.

Love that. There wouldn't be gay people up in Newry now. That's right. That's right. Where's Newry? Newry is county down. That's not where you're from. Where are you from?

No, but that sign we just looked at. I'm Dublin true and true. For generations. I'm pure bread. I'm not surprised at all. I bleed blue. It's county down in the Midlands because I've been there. No.

No, it's the bottom of Northern Ireland. Okay. I don't know. It's nice to ask. You go up until down. Next is Belfast. So if you go from Dublin. I've been to Belfast.

Yeah, so you're really lovely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, good to know. Oh, I've got another question. Cool. I didn't mean for this to happen now, but I'm enjoying it either way. No, I love... What would you describe this as?

This Irish off or something. Well, no, it's not even an Irish off. What it is, is that Helen would like, I think, for me to tell her sort of like... Stories of Home? All day, every day. So then she could adopt them, like, for example, a comic here taught her a Rass song, and now she sings that an eye to beg, don't do that. Which one?

Which one? Do you black and tan. No, I've got a wolf tone CD, Gorote. Farrelling of it to me, which one doing the hair. Did he? Oh, they're all the radio. Armoured cars and tags. No, no, no.

When we were in the airport in Dublin, we were putting... They're such a good beat. It's a good band. So Helen referenced the wolf tones. So when I did our Instagram post with our photos from the Dublin Live show, I put the wolf tones as the Instagram song.

Which song did you choose? Something about Dublin. And I showed Helen and she was like, delete that now. Before anyone sees it, quick. I know from your reaction to me being like, like come out you're blackout

come out and fight me like a man you go like no but that's not the wolf tones no well the wolf tones do you do a lovely version

of it oh the real wolf tone he's from your area isn't he Bowdenstown is that near you is he

I'm Clonillo oh I thought you were from Kildare no I just made that up no I'm from

sorry you're Kildare I always can't where does I get that from I don't know Dara brains Kldair is me

Ashting's Kildare Ashting B's Kildare maybe that's it I think you're confused I've got a question go on please um did you ever do irish dancing or is that just for the girlies no we did it when some of the class were gone to swimming there was only um like a what do you call that a skeleton team left in the house wait what's the skeleton team you know like when there's barely anybody at work

so it's like we're a skeleton crew yeah so this is we were like eight just so mrs shanahan she decided mrs shanahan right my icon teacher you know and what class was this This is fourth class, so probably... age ten-ish, yeah, yeah. Well, I started the year ahead, so, you know, I started a younger, right? But my birthday is September, so, you know what I mean? Okay, so you could be nine, ten, whatever. So, yeah, so she did the one with us, the walls of limerick.

Yes. So then me and my questions in my class as well. Yeah, so that's a, it's a famous one lots of people learn. It's a piece of music. Even if you don't do Irish dancing as a practice, you learn that sometimes. You can just go to, you're in, join together, and then you go in together to the, and people are up at you. Hando, three and a hindo.

You go in together and then back out together and then a bit of a turn. Stop it. Because I've always wondered with Irish dance because you see a lot of the girlie well who's doing it, right? Because that's like a big thing for the girl. But then like, why is Michael the lord of the dance

because you don't see many other lords of the dance. Because that is the strength of the patriarchy. True that. I hate a man's playing that to you, but. I've got another Irish question. Oh my God. You don't have to put up your hands. Did you, sorry, Catherine.

Did you also learn ballroom dance? No. Catherine did Boreham and I thought it's really cool Yeah we did junior infants to first class Was Irish dancing compulsory and then from second Class to six that was born That's I mean In all girls school

For little tiny kids is cute It's adorable Mixed I was in a mixed primary school and then Everything went wrong Oh god And then he went to an all boys school Bocles

Bucles Bucleys Yeah Bucley boys Okay Another question Yes And the question from Harry

And in the Irish Catholic culture and the young ladies get dressed up and marry Jesus Yes What do you marry? Jesus, but in a suit. I don't know what we're supposed to be doing

The boys, like they're kind of Because I know homosexualities are no-no in Catholic Can I just circle back? Sorry, when you make your communion you're not marrying Jesus, that's when you become a nun. Yeah, okay, so when you... But it's kind of, they wear a wedding dress. Yes, but it's supposed to be a holy communion dress

as distinct from a wedding dress. And you wear your little suits. Although now, apparently, The trend is that their clothes you could wear again. So the boys are wearing like hip, cool outfits. Oh, yeah, I wore those my community clothes many times. The girls have to wear the, you only get one go of the dress, really. That's it.

My brother wore a full suit, as a lot of boys used to. No, I had. Do you have a trendy outfit? Yeah, it was all from Debenham's, I think. Oh, my God, big day. Did you go in just for it? To Henry Street? Definitely my confirmation, yeah, Henry Street.

I know in the confirmation I wore a shirt by a brand called Pierre Cardinal. on, which I think is pure debenham. Wow, that's pure debenum. Roger John Rocha. I was making fun of, you know, you look back at pictures of yourself as a child and you're like,

why are we wearing? Like what you don't understand the difference in the fashion? My mother was so insulted and she was like, excuse me, use our dressed, head to toe and next. Head to toe and next. And I hadn't a stitch.

I had in a stitch. You know, just going to think. Oh my God. We obviously were trendy at their time. Yeah, but it's tricky to tell when you look back in here. Yeah, you're like, why are you my, dressed like a little man.

Why would I be wearing that? That's my new favourite friend. Head to toe and next. Excuse me. You are dressed head to toe and next. It's so interesting. I don't really think of myself as particularly like, I don't think I speak in a particularly Irish way.

Like I don't have many colloquialisms left, I would have said. But then I talked to Ellen, my partner and she's just like, I didn't know that we're the only ones to say making a show of yourself. Oh, yeah. Bold as well. Oh, bold as a naughty as opposed to like brave. Yeah. making a show yourself and she loves that one.

Were you educated over here, that is? No. When did you come here? 12 years ago. So you finished college and then you came here? Came here from my master's. Oh, okay, right, okay.

Yeah, I don't know. Also, I never hear from an English person come here to me now. We just say, come here. I've never heard that. I think that's very Irish. Yeah. Come here to me now.

Inside in? You say that as well? What? He's inside in the kitchen. Yeah. That's just saying in twice, basically. You say inside in? Some of them are direct translations from...

Oh, inside of the kitchen, yeah, we say that. Same with happy out. It's happy out? I think so. What the fuck's a happy out? It's good or who? Not really. Not really.

She asked the Irish speaker. I would like to be better. Mish of Russian. But I have quite a bit. I try and throw it in on my own podcast all the time and I get... The Gayle Gory people are so excited about it. The old message and go, I think you're doing great, you're a little bit of Irish.

I have a nice bloss, which is like the accent, so I can get away, I can do good. Oh, we're just a couple of words. Yeah, yeah. But I can do, I can do Blas Eintachgum, you know. Blas, if you do your good, then you're kind of... Well, there's a gorgeous new cafe around the corner from me that's just opened called Bloss. And I ran by the other morning and I went, oh my God, thank her, she and Ellen, because Ellen's Echfowlum, Guelga.

Oh my God, Ellen, go for it. Yeah. She's learning Irish. Yes, yes, yes. Because she wanted to show off to my cousins, which she did very well, their old Gweilgores at my brother's wedding. And then she got a shout out in the wedding speeches, I barely did. And she, sorry, maybe we put that in the... No, listen, it is what it is.

But they all call her the Sosnok, which is the English or the English invader, basically. But she is learning the Sosanok. Like Saxonok. Yeah. The English invader. It's like an insulting word for it. It's a pejorative word for the English,

Sosanok. Like when we say in English, we say English, but we mean it pejoratively. Yeah. You know, she's English. Like people will ask me as your girlfriend English and I'll say, yeah. Why? What did we do?

We don't talk to this. Come on, we're all friends. occupation family counties yeah and then um but so she is learning irish and she learns it on youtube but she will often learn things about the Irish language that I didn't know um including that the literal translation is making sense of some of the idioms um but yes so I'm learning as she goes which is very exciting so cool I learned as a new tense meaning about being wishful for something so when you say thank you and I would just say Gerev Mahogut which I always thought Rev is like a past tense of B

so it was and I always thought that meant you're wishing wellness upon them or there was wellness on you when you did that thing for me that's why I'm thanking you but actually it's just the same word as the past tense as the Amshare Roshna caught you, it's a tense just for being

wishful about something so I am wishful for wellness to be upon you for doing that for me where there's past present wishful theoretical past there's a lot of okay okay yeah

the mocha don't get to start on the mocha yeah that's the condition It's just really hard to learn. It's the conditional. It's like, you do it in French is easy when you learn it in French. Where I have been, I would have been. What? Kind of thing.

If I was a bit younger, I would have been more excited. Right, right, right, right. So like, hypothetical, hypothetical, why we even having this conversation and have a sandwich. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I thought that was quite pretty, just the idea of a tense old for just being wishful. That's lovely. I didn't know that. I'm always wishing people well on this podcast.

Yeah. And you are a very wishful. people. You do, you wish and wistful. And wistful. And wistful and depressed. Because we took so much from you, so you have to hope and wish. It's so funny to make that about you guys. It's not all about you.

The both of it's about America. I think the wishful stuff's about America. Yeah, I would think so. Yeah. Sorry. It's a lovely country. Isn't it gorgeous? Okay, so here's the real question. I know you've already said that your advice is you could just ask for

it, which you seem to have just found out. I've just, it was a real, I have heard of this before asking for help or ask for what you need. I'm familiar with those conceptually, but I just have a real concrete example of like, wow, that was actually fine. I felt like on top of the world last night. I was like, I could smash through walls. It was like, I put the bins out with like one finger. I was like, come on. Not to.

I'm going to do anything I want because I don't know. I got one hour earlier with the girls. Not to rain on your parade, but I'm going to. Please. And I am so proud of you for messaging and saying, is there any time? we could do it any earlier. I then followed up that message and you were like clearly feeling very like, I can ask for things that I want and things that I need.

And I said, well, to you make it even slicker, we could even have a hot drink ready for you when you arrive. And you went, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'll be caffeinated plenty. Where did you get this coffee? Did you buy it and bring it with you? I got it down there in that. And did you pay for it yourself? I did, yeah.

Why? We could have got that for you. I want to contribute into the economy. I'm worried about the UK. I'm worried about it We've really fucked it What even is it anymore What is it anymore?

You should have got your reparation coffee No look I'm taking the money of all the Irish people tonight So I obviously give something back You know what I mean That will be English people back I'll expense it I'll expense it

I won't expensive I won't expense it There might be some English people in tonight Is that unlikely No there will be some There will be some There will be some and that's exciting Yeah

Are you kind to them I did we all will make fun of English people a little bit like that's kind of part of where's that a little bit coming from why are you being polite but it's kind of part of the parlance of Irish

stand of comedy and then like I will like same as gay like I will do I'll make fun of straight boys a little bit but I did a few in the Edinburgh show this year and I had a few lined up and then kind of like the fourth one one couple got up and left

shut up having sides the only walkouts I had the whole run and they left because they were offended by English jokes yeah now because and then but it was very funny someone else asked me as well I was talking about this and someone's like how often would you have walkouts and I was like oh not very often they were the only ones the whole run

and he was like oh I have a few each time and I was like babe it's like babe that's not supposed to happen but they left and then there was this I let them go this down the steps and out the door and I waited until they were definitely gone and I said did you guys all think that and they're all like yeah

so we all had a big laugh together that's wild I mean maybe they just were like oh we've messed up the time or something or somebody felt sick but like it did feel some people just saw yeah yeah yeah oh that is an English breath

like you know letting it a car and clearly it's all jovial yeah also like what is it actually like what is it actually doing to you like what the concept of English is not being respected is so to hold that dear is so funny

yeah hold I mean let it go didn't make a joke about talking did you I did and his fingers Yay nice but all of this is to say we give advice

Oh yes we do But before we do A listener problem Which we will momentarily What kind of advice do you give And what kind of advice People come to you for I am one of those advisors

Who I'm great at thinking of things for other people That he should be doing this You know what he should do He's like I don't think Even about other people's careers I'm like he needs to strip it back. It's not a stand-up. He needs to do the music. And I'm totally like, I'm getting,

I plan on that. I know what I should do for my, I can't, I'm good at thinking of everyone else, but I will ignore my own. I won't state the advice that I would give someone else. Oh, preaching to the choir. Yeah, that's kind of standard. That's part of your disease. Yeah. And what do you, what do people come to you for advice on? Usually, actually, I'm not very, um, soulful advice. I don't get that much of that. I request for that. It's usually just professional things is all I. Is it just professional? want to me go, somebody wants to do an ad on my Instagram for a Fanta, how much

will I charge? That's the kind of thing. Wow, you sound like a granddaddy of Irish comedy when you say it like that. Can me how much the Fanta you get? I don't know. I just say, aim for it. Well, I don't know. Three grand? I don't know. It's a while since I did the ads a few times.

500? I don't know what it's like in the UK. That's what I don't know what the rates does be like. And they make them all up. I don't really do many of those Instagram ads. I did them more few years ago but I just make it up they just make it up like everyone's like one of them is like 500 euro and the next one's a thousands like

how could that make any sense fine fine like whatever I'll do it but you don't get like people coming to you for gay wisdom I have given gay wisdom and I have taken on a gay ward say everything about that so we don't we don't often get to use ward you know like somebody might be a ward of the state

yeah yeah like in Janeer yeah something like yes something like that so that is where sometimes a younger queer person will start talking to you and then you're out somewhere and they'll talk to you and then you'll be like yeah okay when they ask you questions then you'll get a message then you'll get a DM about this then I had I've had two wards it's kind of like a drag daughter

you know that concept of the drag queens have it's kind of like that so everyone and then you'll check in with them and then you know but it's very important to know when it's they're finished and they're soaring they've left the nest so you give them little bits of advice So you do like birthdays and I take them out for a tea at Christmas. Not so much like that. Somebody was talking once about, he told me he was bisexual for the first time. And I was like, he said it in a way as in it was supposed to be just rolling off the tongue.

But actually it was important that he shared it. Yeah. So I did let him roll it off the tongue. And then I said, I've been told you around my dad, no. And he said, no, not yet. And he said, I don't even know if there's a neat to be to tell them. And I was like, okay, well, there is. So all I, the only thing, I didn't want to be heavy handed.

So I just said, I was like, well, I think what you could do is just allow that thought into your head that. you will tell them at some point and just let it circulate and ruminate and become gravy or something. I don't know. I was thinking of a cooking metaphor then. I liked it.

Marinate. There you go. Let it marinate. Let it become a delicious sauce. And then your ward. He wasn't my ward now, to be fair, a full disclosure. That wasn't one of my words,

but that's just some gay advice I've given before, yeah. And when do you know? Helen's my ward. Well, I listened to your... She's just come out as queer. Do you know this? Did you?

Yeah, I'm wearing foot, head to toe, Lou. I'm in head to toe. Lucy and Yac. And she just found out she's gay. Is that it? Flash open to women. Because I heard, I listened to your quiz episode

and you said Helen was the least gay person you know. She said that many times. And I was like maybe less lesbiany but you're kind of a gay man. Well, a woman's just messaged me on Hinge. You're a good look charm. Sorry to say that to another Irish.

Oh God. Be careful. And, and, and I'm wearing all the Lucy and Yack and... I don't know what that means, but I really support it. It's a brand that all the queer people wear it's a brand that all the lesbians were i thought that was called zara i thought that's what we were doing oh my god that is the irish equivalent no in ireland that is like that's a kind

of a more gay brand zara's gay in ireland yeah because it's all monochrome and sensible shoes it's such a different country yeah we're so close we're so close it's so different yeah it's true it's true um okay so we're going to do a problem okay how do you feel deal? Right now I feel, you know, I feel good. Well, good, good. Well, good is a value statement, isn't it? I feel safe. I feel welcomed. I feel just beautiful. Safe. We've never had a guest who's been on the show for 45 minutes who still feel safe. Okay. What's your relationship like with your mom? Positive, but boundaries. What the hell? Love her so much, but she's not my pal. Do you have a life partner? What the fuck is happening? Yeah. Who's your life partner?

Raymond is his name. Raymond, how long have we been together? Six years. Do you have a good work-life balance? Do you remember to take little holidays every now and again? Oh, no, we went on holiday, but we only do a few, like a week is fine, six nights, fine. That's too much for two people, isn't it? Even if you love each other and, like, what are you supposed to do all the time?

Go to a museum and learn about a war. We went to Grand Canaria, so there's not much by the way the museum is there. There's a great aquarium. Did you go to Parque de Loro Inquiry in Grand Canaria? No, we went to somewhere that has, an aquarium but everything was booked up and we spent 12 euro on the bloody shuttle and there was nothing there

Mogan de-influenced Mugan if you're in Grand Prix don't bother or book ahead but don't bother or book ahead probably Wait how did you meet Raymond? Oh we met well first of all we talked on Tinder yeah so we talked on Tinder first and then I lived in a little estate

in this it's in the state in the city kind of rare on James Street and it's called Kant Fort named after one of the leaders of the Rising who was shot dead. Yeah. Oh, by who? I'm not sure.

I can't remember the story. Who was it again? Someone shot them all dead. Anyway, I don't even think Amy Kant was shot dead. He signed a proclamation. Anyway, and then we talked on Tinder and then I went out one night

and then I got too drunk and I got home at 5 o'clock in the morning and I messaged him. So do you want to talk again? Are you finished? Which was a stupid move. Then, but he had just moved into this little estate and I was moving out that week

and he'd moved in. So then I was on Grindr and Grindr's location based. So it showed the nearest person was him the whole day. because I was packing and everything. And then I messaged him and I was like, I've been on and off this app all day and my husband hasn't shown up.

What the fuck? All right. And he wrote back. You're so sassy on a half. That was pretty cool. And then he wrote back men with an eye roll emoji. And I was like, I'm into this.

Yes. And then we went, that was a Tuesday. We went for a drink on Friday. And now it's 2024. Six years later. So nice. Shut the fuck off.

Do you live together, you know, Raymond also said, he said, I'm going to kiss you on your face. He said that in the chat. But we didn't do any, like,

sexy chat we didn't do any nudes or any of that stuff and I think that's better go for it I'm gonna kiss you on the face go for a date quick I think get on with it don't waste time on the apps you guys that's so cute can you be can I be your ward um well I'm not sure what you are but we can work on it yeah yeah yeah I don't know what I am either we think I don't know if you're allowed to ask I don't know if you're allowed ask is that part of the solemn the solemn virtue of it all you have what you have to do is I'm going to go home to Dublin and then you just reply to my story so I'm like so classic of us queers or something like that

and then I'll be like oh I'm getting undertones can't do that now in front of you no it has to be there has to be some distance and whatever okay and like really crowbar it in like I post like looking forward to my show tonight in cherry comedy and you'll be like yeah queer comedy is so tough

and I'll have to deduce that what you're inferring is that the inference is that you want some to cherry bomb right that sang by a lesbian yeah that kind of thing that kind of thing thank you yeah yeah What's Cherry Bomb? I just said a night called Cherry Comedy and Catherine's trying to help you create some of that.

Oh, yeah, Elton John. What, Benny and the Jet, did you say? A lot of work to do. A lot of work to do on this queer front. Yeah. No, no, no, I listen to Chapel Rhone. You know who loves Chapel Rhone now, straight boys? And they all keep saying it.

People keep post on their Instagram and have to say, I have to say, I bloody love this. you don't get a prize because you like the addictive pop news that we all like it it's sugary sweet and we're all delighted by cap around existing

you're just like well I'll have to say sorry I love it I've even seen drag race you know you know I'm sorry I actually love this very one

specific Dublin four accent that you're doing you know also that man is definitely wearing a pearl necklace oh okay sorry those those and the little painted nail

always black always black painted nails because they're actually Still straight. Get a little French polish and then we'll see how gay you are. Let's see. Wait,

I do not know this man. Is this like someone who's like... Straight men who face their nails black and they're wearing pearly earrings with Harry Styles. They think Harry Styles originated all this by the way. Yeah. And it's incredibly appropriate.

But they're straight and they're just like... They're just like... They kind of think they work in the arts but actually they do marketing for like an arms company. Like, but they kind of feel their arts adjacent because there is... There's graphic design involved. I think I've seen them around.

I'm seeing it now. Yeah, they all have houses and mortgages and stuff like that. Yeah, they're in like... They don't have mortgages, but they do have houses. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, the mortgage is paid. Yeah, come on, be real. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, I'm charmed. Okay, good to know. Andrew, I'm so sorry. Tell us the problem. With so many options, why choose Arizona State University? For me, the only online option was ASU because of the quality. Their faculty was really involved with their students and care of about your personal journey, the dedication to my personal development from my professors,

that's been extremely valuable to me. Earn your degree from the nation's most innovative university. Online. That's a degree better. Explore more than 350 plus undergraduate, graduate and certificate programs at ASUonline.asu.org. This is a problem from A. Hi, A. A says, hi hogs. I love the podcast. I'm thrilled.

that I finally have a problem to send in. Yeah, your life fucked up. That's a nice silver lining. To be like, okay, something's wrong, but I can tell the hogs. A few years ago, I moved to Germany. I work in an office job at a company of about eight people, and have this year started doing stand-up. Wunderbar.

At my last gig, I found out that one of the organizers of the open mic, Brackett's the only English language one in the city, has just finished her degree in the same field and is looking for work. I said in passing that I could let her know if anything comes up at my office. However, the chance has actually arisen. My bosses are looking to hire, but I don't know whether I should actually reach out to this open mic organizer.

It's nothing to do with her, and I do want to help, but it will be worlds colliding in a very weird way. We've only spoken English together, however, my work is entirely in German, and none of my colleagues have ever heard me speak in my native English. I'd like to keep it that way, personally. Something about them hearing me speak English is just awful, like they're seeing the real me.

my colleagues also don't know I do stand up which is obviously inherently cringe I got that I worry that if she did work with us I'd be expected to be her first port of call show her the ropes get lunch together and basically be a supportive friendly face and I don't think I could fulfill this role but I do genuinely want to help

I'm just worried about all these complex social dynamics what should I do oh it's tricky this is layered I know there's a few A, there's a few things happening Okay, go on I will speak

If I could, this is the language speaker Can I speak to the piece about Not want them to know about You do speak English or whatever Yeah I was working in an office And I didn't want anyone to know That I had another life

And which was comedy Okay for a second I was like, secret family, what's happening? And then one day I had a video That went That was very popular online I made a video And the boss of the office

Sent it into the work WhatsApp group And my, you know When you think you've left your wallet somewhere and you get that like it was Easter video yeah you know when you think you lose your wallet and you get that your stomach tightens up like you're gonna be I was like oh my god

oh my god oh my god and then seconds later I was like oh that was fine that was actually fine they're all just laughing at the video it was no they weren't going what is wrong with you are you freak so I think don't worry about letting people see the real you in your job it's actually quite survivable so I'll I just want to speak to that to that piece

I love you for speaking to that please would you like to speak to the broader problem please because that was very What is it? They don't want, they said, oh, I'll keep an ear to the ground for a job for you. But actually, they don't want to recommend. But now the chance is actually arisen. They are conflicted about people in work finding out that they do comedy, having to necessarily be the presumed sort of guardian of this person in the workplace if they get the job.

Award. Indeed. You don't want to take on a ward. And they, it sounds like a commitment phob. And they don't want to necessarily speak English in a professional context where they have exclusively spoken German. Oh, yeah. You don't have to, you can, you're not bad person if you just don't recommend them for the job.

If it's causing you this much anxiety, which it sounds like it is, it sounds like, not that I'm on to accuse someone of overthinking, but you've really thought about this recommendation or not. Like, I don't, I personally don't see the awkwardness of having a conversation in English in front of people

you've exclusively spoken in German with. Well, maybe I do a bit because you're sort of like you're, you don't want to feel like you're excluding people if they're just German language speakers and then you two would be the only two that were speaking in English. But that's something that you can communicate to this person that runs the open mic and say, hey, when we're at work, is it cool if we just speak in German? Because people do that. Yeah.

I had a German colleague when I was living there and we spoke only in German at work, but then she wanted to learn English, so we would speak in English. in our free time sometimes and I think that's totally fine to set that boundary if that feels more comfortable for you also like I think just recommending them

doesn't mean they're going to get the job doesn't mean you're going to be their buddy also like people will find out you do stand up and it will be fine yeah because it's going to go well presumably it goes and you sound like you're overthinking things

which means you're probably one of us which means it's probably going to go well but even when stand up is your job it's still cringe it's still embarrassing Oh yeah deeply profoundly You're a clown You just put it out of your head And every year

And then the cringe comes back And you go Oh god I put up a video yesterday Of me saying the word dick And honestly I was like Oh my god What if my mom

She says what my teachers see this What if like The women from the streets It was just like Oh god also like What do people think I think this is funny Like a dirty word is just funny It's like grow up

And I was judging myself so hard And I was like I'm a 36 year old woman This is my set from live at the Apollo It's out there babe They know it Like it's happened. Get over yourself.

I'm reminded constantly because I've got a special needs little sister. And she loves to bring me up and go like, oh, what are you doing tonight? Are you working? Oh, look at me. Look at me. It's all about me. Look at me.

Look at me. And then she's like, you're the crab from Moana. Because you know the crab of Moana's like, I'm so shiny. Is that you, Helen? Is that you? Dad said it's you. I'm like, you fucking bitch. Just to circle back.

I think, first of all, if it's a situation where it will only be advertised internally you don't have to recommend her if it's a situation where it will be advertised publicly she might find out that the job came up and that you didn't recommend her to that end I think you have to recommend her

because you kind of put yourself in this position where you said you would keep an ear to the ground though I think it's a good learning because I am you I often say things and then think about the consequences afterwards by which I mean by often I mean always

I always say things and then think about the consequences afterwards and frequently I'm like why the fuck have I done that I'm constantly solving problems that nobody needed me to solve I'm constantly organizing social events that were not my responsibility to organize. I'm constantly becoming the

listening ear to people who have other friends. I just met you. So just that's a good lesson to take away. But I do agree that A, you can set the boundary about language, B, it is survivable for them to find out that you do stand up and C, and I think this is quite important.

It is appropriate, I think, to say to your superior or whoever it might be that you know the person joining and would rather not be their point person because you think that it's like too confusing or too like it's a bit...

I'm a conflict of interest in. That's that. Exactly. Yes. And just that like... You don't have to recommend. There's plenty of jobs. Germany's thriving, aren't they?

Yeah, Germany is thriving. They do seem to be nailing it. They'll get a job elsewhere. You know what I mean? But then again, if there is one English language open mic in this town, like... And if it's advertised publicly and she finds out, I think you do have to recommend it.

For sure. What town as well? Which town is one English open mic? Yeah, yeah. We're going to identify everyone involved. Move to Berlin. Move to Berlin. Move to Berlin. Your advice is quit your job, move to Berlin. Yeah, quit your job, move to Berlin and get some more giggies. It'd be fine. There's a lot more. It's a thought. Yeah. But I think you're right. I think it is survivable. And actually, I'm like, wow, how amazing that you are doing open mics and that you don't, in England, you would tell all 11 of your co-workers, because you'd be like, and so, should I, like a bringer. So like, who wants to be my guest on Tuesday and who wants to be my guest on

Wednesday? I can't even imagine knowing 11 people not telling them that I definitely have a gig denied if they want to come. That's kind of good. It makes you just get on with it then, doesn't it? Yeah. Yeah, we don't, I never did bring hers and we didn't have to. Although I told my corporate workplace that I was doing stand-up and when I left to like actually just get another part-time job, but I hated working there. But when I left, have I told you this? They as a supportive act made me 500 colour business cards business cards

business cards business cards business cards they are people are handing them out outside of gigs to get followers behaviour yourself

they are like with QRs yeah yeah yeah yeah it's like a whole bank of them yeah it does that is how who does top secret there's like little holders

you can pick up comedians business cards at the end or they're handing them out at the end people hand them out oh no

one with them now. Get followers. It's a thing now. Get back out. No, they didn't have a QR code and they had the photo of me when I went to drama school as my like headshot and it's in black and white my mother keeps it over her fireplace. Honestly, I look dead in every scenario

and I'm also like 12 and it has possibly my work email on it. I don't know but I know. No, just no. You lose access at that then. Exactly. I think I've probably been longed out. I would love one of these business cards at some point. But it's not such a sweet endeavor to be like, this is what she'll need and it's like I'm going to open

I'm going to open mics for the next imagine even to other new comedians being like that's my business card for what? So what we're saying for A is if you recommend her you recommend her and then everything happens at that point will happen or not happen and you just go along with it and if it's causing you super super intense anxiety just leave it and if she finds a job she finds a job and you didn't know about it

and you can recommend it and ask I like that part about asking tell your boss I don't want to be the point contact Yeah, for sure And that you can set the boundary of like at work in Deutsch Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, I used to work with two Italian women

And they would speak English Even talking just to each other They would just do it as a rule We speak English here That's what we're doing Okay, if it's not your first language You really want to practice as well And make a intense effort

I remember like six months into my job At a hotel people thought I was Dutch They didn't know that I was a native English speaker But then I was helping someone behind reception and they gave directions and they were like how do you speak English

so good and I was like I'm English like I'm from England Wow Wow yeah thanks for asking before

Germanic fucks I was like how did not no you tell everyone everything but why they didn't know I was really quiet at this workplace

for a bet Oh okay Does it have an experiment No I was just like I was like I was like What would it be like

If I shut the fuck up What I mean I fucking hate Irish hour Shane Dan Nellbring, you're an angel Thank you for coming to our podcast Delicious pleasure Where can people find you online? The gram, Instagram,

Shane Danburn That's where I met And what about on TikTok? Podcasts? Oh my podcast There you go, yeah Or you can check out

Young Hot Guys podcast Yeah Young Hot Guys, can I say Now that we're at the end It's not sycophantic to do so I love it it's also my brother's absolute faith

he has been asking me to get you on this podcast for 10 years what's he called did I send a message to him or did we do something

like that before I remember hearing about your brother before did you maybe you message me better or something I appeal to boys now it's so exciting

because we do a podcast with two boys and like I used to just have a load of IFAS and Orlas and Ashlings and Fiona going like oh my god

I love your videos and now now I get lads on the street nodding to me love the pod I'm like I am like I am

appealing to the straight men of Ireland. Does that feel powerful? Yeah, it really does. And they will, if you do a gig, they will just land a pint for you. They don't even go over and check it out or ask for pictures and they're just like, here you go, like, because we're brothers.

Yeah. That's sick. Yeah. I had two, in the front row, my show in Dublin, front row, two straight boys, pals, just sitting there together. They were the group, two boys sitting together. And I was like, these gays, no, right? And they're like, we're not okay.

We're like, oh, hey, okay. Yeah. There's no way to say, we're not. not gay in that Irish accent and not sound homophobic. All you're saying is a fact, but I still hear it as an attack. I'm not gay, you sick fuck. Yeah, exactly. I would never be gay.

And I'm like, I'm not gay. And I'm like, how dare you? Wow, well, man of the men. None of the men. Man of the men. Thank you so much, because I've listened to this podcast before, so it is so nice to be on a really little. Oh my God, Davy. You have a great time playing to the Irish people tonight. Thank you. And you'll be back home to the rest of them very soon. Yes.

On tour in spring. In Ireland. In Ireland. In Ireland. Will you? Northern South. Yeah, North and South. Ireland.

I'm doing the Republic of Ireland and Belfast. Ireland. And yes, you may have your counties back. Thank you. Well, when they decide. Yeah. If you want them, if you want them. If they want to come back.

If they want to go back. It's up to them. It's up to them. I don't want anything. It's up to them. It's up to them. And I've always said that. It's up to them. Haven't I always had that?

We'll round up applause. Okay. Daniel Byrne. Anna Waugh. Fougolmast. What a mug of, come out. Thank you so much to all of our producers, but especially the illustrious bunch that is our executive producers. Thank you so much Guy Goodman, Simon Moore, Danny Tonner, Stephanie Kepatcha, Oliver Jago, Anthony Conway, Neil Redmond, Madeline, Quinn, and Sadie Cashmore.

Thank you. We are so grateful to keep us going, and honestly, it means the world. Helen. You guys are all my father, Christmases. Thank you to our other Little Elves, our producers. It's so early in the year for this. It's not close enough. We're less than 100 days away, right?

We're like 80 days away. Thank you to our producers, our Little Elves in the workshop. It's L. It's Richard Bold. It's Harold Van Dyke. It's Tim and Dom. It's David Walker. It's Rachel R.

It's Claire Owen Jones. It's Jess and Nick. It's Sarah and Molly. It's Ria Fink. It's Cordelia. It's Rachel Page. It's Helena. It's Tina Lindsay.

It's Graham Marsh. Sing along with me. It's Amy O'Reardon. Abby Woff. Matt Sims. Luke Bright, Leah, Kate, Spencer, Liz Fort, Taz, Anthony, Clive, Becky, Fox, Dean, Michael, Sophie, Chivers, Chivers, Carrie, Sooth, Charlie A, Casey, Jam, Rain Bird, Tamsden, Smith, Harding, Hannah J, Ezra Peregruen, which is Hill in Welsh. Woo-hoo! Thank you, bye!