Trusty Hogs - Ep17. HUGE DAVIES / London, Laser Tag & Love Actually

Episode Date: January 27, 2022

Brilliant comedian and Trusty Hogs resident composer Huge Davies joins us on the very show he theme tuned! A super fun chat all about Disney characters, baby photos, and laser tag parties…For the cut chat & extra material from this episode, go to Patreon.com/TrustyHogsThank you so much for listening! Support us at https://www.patreon.com/TrustyHogs for exclusive bonus content, merch, and more! Trust us with your own problems and questions... [e-mail] Please give us a follow @TrustyHogs on all socials Be sure to subscribe and rate us (unless you don’t like these little piggies - 5 Stars only!)Thank you to our Patreon supporters...EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Simon Moores / Guy Goodman / Janinna Bautista / Mary FoxPRODUCERS: Richard Bicknell / SBDubz / Elle / Richard Bald / Neil Redmond / Victoria Hutchison / Emma Walton / Karen Bull / Harald van Dijk / Kierah Leach / Tim & Dom / David Walker / Rachel R / Lee Myerscough / Anthony Conway / Sadie Cashmore / Claire Owen-Jones / Kim Dubhghaill / Jess & Nick / Zoë / Jo Holmes / Caitlyn Lyth / Aideen McQueen / Sarah & Molly / Carrig Duke / Melissa Dunkeld Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Because I'm trying to remember the Irish. Hello hog! Hello hog! Conisitatu? Oh my God. That was good. That was good. That was Helen's butchered Irish.

Conisitartu. Oh my God, make it stuff. It gets worse. It's getting... Canisitartu. It's like you're having a stroke. Jan, canisitartu. Like you're having a stroke.

No. That's good, no? No. Through the fog. Step forth the trusty hogs. Yeah. You're going to give me your problems and they went. solve them or maybe they won't and that's your problem they'll have guests and Andrew

White on the tech oh it's Helen and Catherine as the trusty hogs trust the trusty hogs or maybe not no flotter oh that was good no that was awful where did the R at the end come from I was there There was an advert going around for that northern Irish film. Have you seen that? Belfast. The little boy goes, is it called Belfast? It's a very original island. Oh, come on.

Like, you know what I mean? That's like every film in London, London. Except how many films are they make in Belfast? I don't know. I didn't make the film. Why am I defending it? It's a shit name. You're right.

You're right. Belfast. And in the advert, the little boy, have you seen this when he like toast to his dad? Like, I heard if we go across the watcher, they can understand what we're saying. And then he goes like, I haven't understand

a single thing my wife is sad in 50 years and then they smash cut to something else and it's like what the fuck is happening it's going to win an Oscar

now I slagged off this is exactly like when I was in like first year of college went to go see Warhorse during the national theatre I needed to rewind

Helen is that what you think Irish people sound like I mean in Belfast not the fiddly didly ones not all of them

but the ones at the top it's just like listening to you do that child's accent gave me an actual migraine and it's like... It's based off. Do you remember the Catherine Tate show? Oh, that classic Irish woman. And there was the woman who was like... She has red hair, not a passport.

Oh, no. Wow. No? Come on, that's classic. It's classic comedy. Come look at my curtains. Oh my God, make it stop. Make it stop. Whereas you're not full, like, you know... I'm Irish.

...in the pub, but you're like, you're north of that. I'm Irish. You know, you're not running around a council estate with no shoes on, you know? That's that Lepardridge quote. That's an alphardridge quote. You know that one like island, you know, kids running around without shoes on,

horses on a council estate. I mean, I wish I could tell you that my parents, both, most of my parents grew up in council estates and we currently live in a housing estate where you often see a horse on the green, but it's not the point. We all have shoes. We all have shoes.

We all have shoes. We all have shoes. How dare you? God, I miss hopefully the curtains on a Christmas. be like there's a lad with a horse that definitely

isn't his but anyway so they just grab him then? It's, I don't know you don't really ask them about

the origin story do you know what? There's a film called Into the West, into the wild into the west that is a set in Dublin

that's about a kid keeping a horse in his flat, his high-rise flat and honestly I don't think

that's actually the theme of the show I think is something like manhood and fathers or

something but the horse is huge there's so many good Irish films Yeah, let's check it out. What's that? Have you guys heard of Grabbers?

Grabbers is an Irish film. It was an indie film and it's based on. I think it's called this. If you say Catherine Tate's in it, I'm going to fucking kill you. It's like an indie, but... So it's set on a little island, off island, which is always fun to say. Because we say the most different words, like Island and Ireland, whereas you guys mispronounce our country name. You're being super bitching.

No, I'm just like... That was really bitching. Okay, sure. If we're having a nice time... No, it's on me. I see that now. 100%. It's always

that in English to explain how the Irish works. Fuck here now. And basically it's a little island off

Ireland. Crushed it. Yeah. And they all have an alien invasion. Yeah, sure. And the aliens

come. Are they English? But they figure out the aliens can't take them and kill them unless they're pissed. So the whole town

gets pissed and then they designate three sober people to try and fight the aliens. It's the funniest film ever. It had the smallest

budget. And that's the premise is the whole town of trying to fight aliens. I love that the English won't engage with Irish history

but they'll just sort of try to have catharsis via let's just say nameless aliens invading, just a tiny part of it, wow. And they're all in the pub

being like, we're going to die. Oh my God. Another classic Irish film where we come out excellently. So con us the tattoo. How am I?

Well, first of all, thank you for asking Hello Hugs. I was in Ireland. I did tour support for Joanne McNally. God damn. She's good at comedy.

Like, fuck me, real good. I'm beautiful. So beautiful. And also I did tour support and I went out there and I've never seen a crowd that looks so like the comedian they came to see.

Like, these women were all replicas and it was so amazing. They were so cool. But I obviously went out to be, and I was like, suddenly I had that anxious feeling of when I was in an old girl school because it was just women.

And I was like, oh fuck, what if I'm the only? I don't know why. I suddenly was like, what if I'm the only queer here? Oh my God. And I did my set. I had a lovely time. And then afterwards, I got

so many messages instantly of like a bunch of obviously stealth lesbians just being like, we're here too. We're here with that straight friends. This is so exciting. Oh my God. I love this. Yeah, and it turns out, Joanne, I think has quite a big following of lesbians who are just waiting for her to like tip over into done with men from sick. Like, sick of men to done with men.

God, let's hear it once again for lesbian patient. Right? Right. All just ready to go. Anytime she wants to be treated like the queen she is, they are good. inside. It'll happen. It'll happen if we wait long enough. It's amazing. So that was I had the most joyous time and then I spent

a week at home and then did an Irish panel show where wait for it everyone like checks if anybody else has something to say on the topic. Like, oh sorry, did you want to say something Catherine? Oh Catherine, what did you think? Shut. Oh, you haven't talked. Catherine, come here, sorry, didn't me to speak over you?

This is from actually, this is for men. Stop. This is for men on a television show. Oh, go on there, Catherine. No, you go ahead I honestly I had to slide off my chair honestly saying her Irish accent was better than mine then I'm going to heaven

that's incredible I'm sorry but mine was Arjahans the game on now I'm going there then mine was the less offensive one wow you're right and I speak better German than you Dankashun Bishishishin

Giana perfect I'd be perfect in German It was really good. What was the panel show premise? Erasing Irish history from memory or personal history from memory. So I told them about my nipple ring. It was a great time.

You've heard it. You don't need to know it. But oh my gosh, so I have to tell you about this thing that happened at home. So I have a girlfriend, as you know, come and down. Yeah, yeah, very familiar with that. And, yeah, nice girl named after a few fruit, not sure how I feel about that. I think it's a lovely name. It's such an English name, but it's fine.

I love her. It's just that when she talks. Because famously, there's no English Catherine's, like. Okay, fine, but she's so English that, you know, when you're out, like, I love her accent when we're at home. But outside, I'm like, shh. You know what I'm like? In Ireland, at least, I'm like, people are going to think you're being. She just sounds oppressive, is what I'm saying. Right. And so Clem loves me, which is very nice. It's a nice feature to have in your partner. But she loves, like, weird aspects of me. Like, she likes me without my makeup. She likes pictures of me as a baby. but she doesn't really like pictures of me as a baby she likes to say she likes pictures of me as a baby but then she body shames all of them right I mean you've seen me as a baby I look pregnant

you were like well no you were you were a full figure baby I made a thought when they put me on the ground I made it a big all sound when they put me down my dad was dry yeah my dad used to call me pudding like and that was a that was if anything like an overly affectionate name for quite a menacing

bowler of a baby. It was like, oh, oh, I thought the pudding would be sweeter. But it's not on fire. Anywho, I was a big boned baby and I look pregnant slash in labor in all of my photos. However, when I was home, my mom moved out this adorable, finally a good photo of me as a baby. Congrats. Thank you. I look so cute. If anything, I don't know if it's angles, but slimmer on the face. Angles. Yeah. Wow. Lovely. Tiger print blanket over me? What was I thinking?

I don't know but anyway I look so cute a hand in the air like hey girl I look divine so I send it to Clem finally because I just know

she's going to be so excited she is in love she's like this is the best photo ever this is the best photo of a baby ever I want to meet this baby I love this paper so much that's weird it's weird that you're not reacting

like that's weird but okay no no I'm super I already want to see it and then blow it up and put it as wallpaper so this is the thing she puts it as her phone back right

which my mom is like that's a bit weird I'm fucking this baby now. See that baby? We fucked last night. Not, not all, present day, but like. That's what I was trying to say. I was like, how are you going to explain this to your workmates?

Like, who's that on your phone? Oh, just my girlfriend. It's a baby. I was like, you have to say it's your 33-year-old girlfriend. Anywho, oh my God, I get home. I find her with this wallpaper, she's like, every four hours, she's like, look at you, you're so good, you're so good,

Anywho, two nights later, we're in bed and we get a text for my mom and she goes, you know, thinking about it, I don't think that's you. How many other massive ginger babies are there? It's Ireland. Loads.

So I was like, I knew it. I just knew it by good. It wasn't me. I was too slim. And mom goes, yeah, I know who it is. And at this point, Clem was like, sees the message. And she's just like, excuse me, what now? It just sends loads. of repeated photos of it as her wallpaper like photo photo photo photo

and mom goes yeah shit that's Sarah who the fuck is Sarah thankfully it's my cousin not the one you're thinking of did you imagine your mom just has baby photos of your act but I have an ex-girlfriend called Sarah and honestly in that moment I was like Clem don't throw your phone

out the window don't throw her she was like and then it was my cousin and then but here's the weirdest part I think she keeps the photo on her at wallpaper for like eight more hours i was like you've got to get rid of that and she's like i'm sorry it's just the only nice one i ever had of you and i'm like it's not me sarah sounds really cute she's divine i bet she's so beautiful she's divine what a slender baby yes she is oh my love you went through a lot huh it's been a real week and on top of all of that you're still at home

and that's always going to be tricky i know you become a teenager this time or were you keeping classy. Oh no, I immediately why do I always do that? Everyone does. I don't think it's like an us thing or this is when I think that it's just like everyone but it turns out it is just us. I try not to be like... I'm home for 20 minutes when mom goes, how are you? And it's like, you never ask me anything about myself

go fuck off! Oh my God, I'm such a... My mom is honestly the nicest woman. The nicest woman. She's the most incredible host. She buys specific things in for me that she knows I like. If I say something I like in her house, she has a packed up bubble wrapped put in my suitcase before I can even

be finished the compliment. She is honestly the nicest woman in the world. Her skin is soft. Her voice is low. She's just a kind lady who bakes things. Having a baby that size. I was the lightest. What is that?

I came out of a delicate 9-10 or something. Peter, he's lovely. He came out like a 10 pound. Shut up. We were some beastie babies. But here's the thing. I cannot help myself. I just, I'm so...

It's like an out-of-body thing. I'm like, stop being. a cold bitch to her. She's such a nice lady. And everything she does, I'm just like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, what's wrong with you? And do you ask her about her? I try. I know, but do you want to hear it? I don't know, I just, it's just such a trash bag when I'm there. I hate myself when I'm there. I'm like, honestly, I just want to wine and dine her in London. You know what I mean? I want to bring her here, I think, and just like. But you say that, but I also know that you don't like having your parents in your house. Okay, that's true. But I think that it's unfair to say that I think it would be easier

now that I have my own place. When I wasn't with housemates, I found it really difficult because I got that. I had a strong sense that anything I did with housemates was precedent setting because I made all the rules. What the fuck is precedent setting? So, because I make all the, oh, by the way, I have a bone to pick with you. Precedent setting is, um... How the fuck? I haven't done anything. I have, I have a bone. I have a bone. So here's the thing. Um, I have a bone. So here's the thing. Um, I, when I say that, I mean, like, I would be the one who's always like,

we have to keep it neat and tidy, we're all, everyone has to do their chores. So if I, for example, left something in the living room, I would worry that then I was opening the gates to everybody just leaving stuff in the living room. Yeah, okay. You forget sometimes, don't you? Andrew. Sorry. Do you forget how mentally ill she is sometimes?

No, I think I think Catherine's very lovely and mentally fine. Well, apparently mentally ill. Okay, great. I just love that you treat your actions like a high court ruling. like as soon as this is done this will be law everywhere that is how I like to keep it by the way we have to introduce

a new person to the team and then I'm going to give out to you hey everybody this is M yay M I'm switched to the camera hi Hi M

we're so excited Em's the best we had a coffee together it was really cool yeah I love that you're like you keep talking about that like it means that you went on a date it's ridiculous

we're best friends so M's wonderfully quiet and stoic on that topic M is our new assistant producer Trustee Hugs and we're so excited that she's here and sometimes she'll be here sometimes Andrew will be here sometimes they'll both be here

who's to say but we're so delighted and it's because of you they were able to have another member of the team so thank you for your support thank you thank you for supporting us now I'd also like to apologise to M on pod because I said oh we've got the producer camera about oh don't worry we don't have to flick it to us

and then you're like show M put up on camera and I'm like okay sorry put a bow on her head come on no leave her alone no it's got some Okay, but like, later? Later, yeah. I love that M's going to be a silent partner in this podcast.

So, here's a thing. You. Don't do the finger thing. I have an issue. I have an issue. I'm not going to point. I'm not going to point. But I am specifically talking only to you.

I have now got a partner who, for example, last night, I came in. She hadn't put her laundry away. I was on the bed. It's fine. No. Usually I'd be like, cool, I'll just wait for her to put a laundry away and then we'll go to sleep. And usually she would begrudgingly come in and put it away because she knows I wouldn't be able to sleep otherwise. But you have set a precedent on this fucking podcast, which means she comes into the room, runs to the bed, grabs up all her laundry, fucks it on the floor and goes, Pylee!

Yes! And then gets into bed. That's so weird, because I'm actually not an advocate. four pylies. I know. I don't know why this is on me. But you gave her a word. You gave her a word. You gave her language for her bullshit.

And now she thinks it's a thing. Wait, no, that's bullshit. I had a choice in my life to live with piles or pylee. And I chose Piley for dignity and respect to people who genuinely have grapes coming out of their ass. And I stand by that being the right choice. Yeah. Would you rather her go piles? No, but I just, I just cannot believe.

I was like, get out of the bed and fix it. And she was like, no. And she's like, it's Piley! And I was like, so apparently we're always going to have a Piley on the go now. And it's your fucking fault. So, Neil's Piley grew this weekend because it was his birthday yesterday. And he added a couple of things to Pyley. And I couldn't say anything because it was his birthday.

Wait, so it's not even like for stuff that he doesn't have a place for it. No, no, he just, like, Pilee grew a lot this weekend. Oh, for fuck. And it was just like, because it was his birthday and I was already like... Is it like a treasure to him? I don't know what it is. I think it's Pilead. Partly treasure, partly he knows it pisses me off.

Partly, childhood trauma? I don't. Yeah, it's hard to say. I assume so. I get it. I get it. Is it taking the shape of any particular woman? If I said Nigella Lawson.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it. But at the same time, he just wants ready meals. So it's like, where's the line? Yeah. Pick a life. She's a lie. 100%. Yeah.

But, like, birthday morning. She could pop from the microwave. I couldn't say anything about it because we were already in a bit of a tricky place because I decided for his birthday, the best gift I could give him, was a day off cuddy club. Aw. And the theme of the day was silence. Because.

Because I... That's beautiful. That's so beautiful. You saw what he needed and you put him first. No, he asked for it. Oh. Because I was like, do you want to listen to your rappers? Well, we have breakfast.

And he was like, no, silence. And it was horrendous. And we had Nick Ellery over for two sleepovers, which is so cute. Do you just mean two nights in a row? Yeah. Okay. Two sleepovers. Yeah, no, and I got it.

I got it. I got it. But Sunil's 41st batch. For his 41st, for your housemate's 41st birthday, a 52-year-old man. Yeah, 52 or 51, Nick is over for two sleepovers. Nice. We watched Simpsies in the morning. Simpsies.

Simpsies. And we ate our breakfast all together. And then we gave him gifts, apart from my gift, to stuck at a neighbour's house. So I just gave him two Tony's chuck a lonely bars. That's cute. Simpsies sounds like a podcast with three white dudes. Oh, my God. Doesn't it?

I bet it's very powerful. Yeah. I'd love to hear what they think about equal pay. Oh, I'll bet they have some feelings. Am I right? Hey. No, let's come on women. Let's focus on free the nipple, then we'll deal with that.

Indeed. 100%. I'll bet they have some thoughts on that too, the old Simpies now. Get them out! Get them out! Free us! Sick of pain for it. You went wrestling.

That's the main event of the weekend. Excuse me what you actually wrestled? No, they wouldn't let you in the ring if you weren't a professional. But then they had students going in. Did you ask? Obviously, yeah, of course you asked. Yeah, I don't know why I thought that was. It's a stage.

Give me a chance. Also, like, I was bigger than a lot of them. I could have done some damage, but I didn't know the choreography and like I didn't have any DP on or like an outfit. Is this like, um, W.W.E like that kind of? It's the amateur London circuit. But I know, but are they mimicking like the choreographed pretend wrestling as opposed to actually wrestling each other?

Oh, no, no, it was like dance. That's so funny. It's an art form. It was incredible. No behavior. Incredible. I fall in love. His name is Buffalicious. And I could not stop. Basically, the first half was like two on two battles. Yeah. And I'd never been to wrestling before. And it was very like spontaneous. Like, oh shit. No, yeah. I want to go wrestling.

Okay. It just occurred to you or they were already going. Sean McLaughlin was going. He had a spare ticket. I was going to go to my cousins. And then I was like, no, I'll go wrestling instead. Because then Auntie Pam was there. I'll see Pam another time. Shout out to Sophie. I know she's listening. She better be. That'd be really awkward if she's not. Are these wrestling people or your family? No family. People are all coming to the next Giglas live, by the way. Are they really? I got a message being like, just so you know we're all coming.

You are going to die. They literally all look like their siblings, but they're all in relationships. I'm so excited. You are going to lose it. Wait for Pete and Astrid. It's fucked up. Oh my God. I'm so excited.

In which case, can't wait for you guys to get married. But they do a blood test first. Double check. No, it's fine. I think she's like Welsh or something. So it's all good. So it's legal there. Yeah.

It's different there. It's different rules. Same as an island, you know, with the... I realised how cheap a shot that was when I was like, excuse me, Ireland's its own country. We have our own culture. Wales are all cousin fuckers. What's wrong in there?

I'm sorry, it's a blind spot. Go on. You would have loved the wrestling. The first section I was like, oh, this is just fine. This is cool. And it was like amateurs. So they would like punch. Then they'd go, oh, a second later,

which is so charming. It's really charming. Is it like that old Batman series where it was like, Cablam! Oh, I forgot that I'm older than you. Capawi! Capoey!

Oh, you didn't see it. Okay. All right. Let's move on. I wanted to join him. I know, and it was cute. So... Ciblammy!

Almost. Oh my God. Just say pow. Just say pow. Do you guys want to start a feminist cartoon? Where instead of like fighting to save the day, we're sort of like fighting to like defend a partner. So it's like, no, she loves me more. Titslap.

And then it's like, oh, me, no more. And then like, instead of like... She just hit my teeth. Instead of like physical games, it's mind games. Like, do you think she loves you, though? First of all, do you think that this, when you say start a cartoon, do you just mean, like, actually play in the playground? Or do you mean, like, actually make a cartoon? Oh, I think I thought in my head it was a book, but now I'm doing it.

I realize that, like, it's different. Yeah. Are you currently getting confused between real life books and cartoons? That's like when I was filming that thing and my character name wasn't Helen. And you know when you're like... Helen? Helen. Are they talking to me?

And you know I struggle with the name Helen because every time someone says, hello, I think it's me. I didn't know. I'm on a street. Someone's like, hello to their friend. I'm like, because it's like.

I just know this about you. Because it's really close. Yeah, no, it's tricky. But every time someone says like Patherin in front of you, do you go like. Every time, every time. Hello. Catherine and dogs.

Oh my gosh. Yeah, sure. Does someone go like, um, and you go. Oh, good hey. I get it with and. And, oh, that's fucked up. This is, guys, this doesn't happen. I'm fine.

I can manage to decipher my own name and other words with Catherine. Yeah, but. Hello, Helen. Hello. Helen. Hello, hello. Hello, hello. Hello, Helen.

Hello. Oh, my God. I think I just hear the hell and I'm so desperate for love that I'm like, yes, yes, you wanted me. Okay, we can be honest about me. Is it me? That's great. Okay, so... Did you start singing

and then give up on yourself? I did. No, go for it. No, I won't. Okay. Anyway, they did a Battle Royale on the second section and I fucking lost my mind.

Is Battle Royale multiple people? It's literally... It's like a tap-in, tap out. There's about 10 people in the ring. And then people would get knocked out and then you'd hear a voice like, you know, like when you're on a ride at a shit park and they like count down,

like the release of it like, 10, nine. So they were playing that like every three minutes. And then a new one would come out the curtain. And then one point a guy came out who was called night bus was his wrestler's name and he went my boss

but the night bus fell out the ring and just like rived on the floor for five minutes and it was out it was really weird night buses are scary that's the only place I've ever seen a gun pulled you know I can get everything else

what? No no we can come back oh yeah my first year in London I had a night job in a pub because I was studying during the day so I worked till 2 a.m. in this pub most weekends and then I was getting the bus home from Borough

to Finns Park and this guy got on and took out a gun and just literally pointed out this guy at the back of the bus and said get the fuck off get the fuck off get the fuck off then I think he realized it was the wrong guy or just was obvious or was high or he could have been a fake gun I don't know but it was a man holding a gun and I was shitting myself and then he got all and the bus driver drove on and didn't make an announcement that's to me that's the bit that stuck in my mind so much because my mother the next day was like well I didn't tell her straight away but she was

like London's great but but she was like what did the bus driver say I remember so clearly her saying that and me being like nothing he said nothing but that was it no one spoke no one shot anything no one thank goodness nobody was her but it was honestly I was maybe six months

into London and I was like what the fuck is this hellscape like what is this so I got to I got a daytime job fairly quickly after that. What was the daytime job? I taught debating to children who did not. And we debated arms, the bearing of arms. And it was much safer, so I much preferred it.

To go back to the Battle Royale. I cannot believe you've seen a gun pulled out. Did he look like a bus? That's terrifying. No. No. Nightbust didn't. Buffalicious was wearing like a Jerry Hallowell number. Was he buff and delicious?

Is that where that comes from? He was everything. Like he had the whole crowd. there was a, oh, Shaw McLaughlin fell in love because there was a wrestler called Leap Frog and he wanted to go up to him and be like, you mate, have Leaprogged your way right into my heart. But unfortunately, Leaprogg would come out

and immediately get sent out every single time. He just could not battle with everyone. And it was shame because he'd clearly tried the most costume-wise. Like, he, everything was restricted? Was he restricted by his costume? No, it was good costume, but like, everything was customized, like, LF, belt his mum made.

And I was like, ah, Leapro! Ribbit, ribet. We're out of tapels. Trink it to the pond! Question. Were they all men? No, there was one girl, and I was really cheering for her, but she took an absolute beating. The choreograph, choreograph, choreograph beating.

What was her name? I didn't hear. Oh, wait, you didn't catch the woman's name? No, I basically got sent to sit down for a while by Sunil Patel and Sean McLaughlin. I can see that. Apparently, I was screaming too much. Yeah. Because at one point, a wrestler called Big Money.

and started using bowls like poundland bowls to like beat someone up with and then the balls went and I was like no they can't go I love the balls bring back the balls but I was screaming like bolly bolly bolly bolly bolly molly bolly and then they made me sit down for a bit and calm down someone that I missed a bit wow I had to play on my phone you live such a full life you know that you really do you live such a full life thank you every moment of it I think if he has like present and alive. And I had a Pizza Express. Oh my God. What a roller coaster

every day. What did you order? Romana. Okay. Pepperoni, halapinos, spiciness. Yeah. And then my friend Eddie had doughballs but he didn't finish his garlic butter. So I was knifing on butter onto the crust of the pizza. Good.

Who doesn't finish their garlic butter? What the fuck's wrong with you, Eddie? Who are you? He's comedian, but like, you know what I mean? Like, you know him. It's just... Sounds like he hates himself. Finish your fucking butter.

Actually, that does make sense for a comedian. Anyway... I finished his butter. It was amazing. It sounds amazing. I can't believe he saw a gun. I know. I've got to get over it.

It's not even exciting. It's horrible. I forget that it happened. But yeah, eight years ago, it was really scary. Have you ever, like, wanted to shoot a gun? No. My friend Chris did. Okay.

I thought you were going to say you have or you want to. My friend, my friend, my friend, my friend, I don't know. He went to, he went to America. and he was like doing like a university swap helping out with the Barack Obama campaign but he was saying with his host family who host people who were like volunteers and they were like we've got guns

do you want to shoot them and he was like he was like you know very young and he was like Americans are so fucking weird are you guys all oh okay and they had a whole set up and he was like this is like wants a lifetime experience I don't want to be rude to them

because I let me stay it's all volunteer so he shot it but like wasn't trying to like ask for that much advice and it went back and just made a cut in his eyebrow and then he ended up spending about $3,000 on stitches and removal. Oh my God, of course, because it's America.

Because weirdly guns are not covered in your health insurance when you're going to volunteer in the Barack Obama campaign. What? That's crazy! And that's a lesson for all of us. But I've shot laser guns a lot, LaserQuest. Yeah, I don't think the kickback's the same on those. There's no kickback. No, it's crazy.

But you can get like into violent situations. Like, you know, they're all from LaserQuest. This is such bullshit. Do you remember Laser Quest when you were younger? Are the rules of Laser Quest? Stop talking to those children? You're allowed to talk to the kids, but you're not allowed to hold them down

and then shoot them repeatedly until the game's over. Because apparently everyone has to be a free runner. But if I bump in... I'm going to get pissed off now. If I bump into him and he falls over, it would be weird not to shoot him. That would be weird. Why am I sent out?

But you don't have. A kind of a flush puppy because apparently I'm already pepped up. But you don't have to sit on him or hold him down. My hand fell there. It fell there, Helen. You can't shoot and repeat. You have to wait three seconds between each arm. Helen.

Helen. Helen. Yeah, I'm chill. Did he fall? I didn't push him. He fell. Helen, did he fall? Who remembers?

Helen, did he fall? 1998. Woking. You pushed him, didn't you? You pushed him, he fell. either way i was really good at laser quest until they they saw me come in and they were like why is that 22 year old again it's really fun wow no oh no you want to see sing too with me i really want to see sing too i love sing do you guys want to come did you see sing the first one yeah

m saying no oh by the way we hired because i've already shouted and i don't i know but we hired em and then she got here and then Helen asked did she know the songs from Pocahontas and Em said... In reference to a Pocahontas chat I don't just spend my life wondering around and be like, do you like Pocahontas? No, I know, I know. I know. And then M said no, I didn't watch Disney as a child

I've never seen it. And Helen was quiet for the longest time I've ever witnessed her be quiet. Em, why haven't you seen Disney film? Why are you like this? Why are you covering yourself? We're not going to hurt you. I'm just feeling a little bit stressed at this. point. Yeah, that's fair. We've talked to you more than we anticipated doing so now.

We'll stop that. The first day on the job and you're already stressed. Quick question. You're not on camera. You didn't watch Disney because I just didn't, it just wasn't available to me for some reason. Okay. That's really good. Which one? Little done riding through the forest.

The cartoon with the fox? The Foxy Fox. Yeah. I'm one of the characters in Robin Hood. You know the big chicken that plays badminton and loses the shuttle park and her feathers on the tip. How insane is that? You know how everyone, the theory is everyone has a carriage in Disney that's bang on them?

Oh, nice. Mine is the big fat chicken who's like going like, oh, mate, burial! And there's like feathers coming off for everywhere. Like, that's my one. Amazing. So we found, we found a car. What is mine? You do actually have another bird energy. You know the owl in fox and the hound.

No. That's a compliment, I think. Okay, I don't know that one. I'd have said I had like a, You definitely have like a Nala, like young Nala energy as well. Really? That's a, that's a major compliment. I would have thought I was more of a scar.

She's a fucking whore. I'd have thought I was scar. No, you're not Scar. You couldn't kill and then move on. Also, your hyenas, like you'd have them better controlled. That's true. It's like there was no systems there. Yeah, there was no place.

They were just roaming around whenever they want. Can we get some cutlery? Could you imagine if the shadow lambs were just where the sun moved instead of actually having perimeters? You'd be like, where is my property? Where does it end? Because the sun's like this, that's mental. It is.

And also it's like, no, there are no neighbours, so why can't we decide on boundaries? It makes no sense. Listen, I... The ostrichists were next door. We're hyenas. They don't live in the next door anymore. I'm going to give me some time,

and next episode I'm going to tell you which Disney character you are. Okay, I'm excited. I thought, I would just assume I'd be some sort of, like, intense but, like, morose, fairy godmother version. Or some equivalent of, like, Some old one who has birds, so far, but ultimately doesn't have the energy to, like, follow. You would be an older character.

I do think that, actually. Yeah. Think on it. Oh, my God. Oh, my gosh. Our guest is here. Is it our guest? Yeah.

That never works out this way. Welcome! Huge Davies! Mate, I cannot believe he walked in just now. previews coming up as Helen, by the way. You can tell by the accent. I am thinking that you guys should come and see me do work in progress. Otherwise, it's going to be incredibly lonely and kind of sad, right? A little bit, yeah. Yeah, all right, Hugh. So basically, I've got some coming up with Catherine Bohar on the 31st and the 7th of February in London. And then I'm

in Leicester. I'm in Edinburgh. I'm in Brighton. I'm in Bristol. All the tickets are at my website, which is helenbauer.com.com. I thought it's Helenbauer comedy. I've been promoing that wrong forever. That's bad, isn't it? Please, please, please, come, please, come, please. Please go. She's going to be amazing. I'll be there for some of them, and also please come see me on tour.

Catherinebowhart.com. The tour is called This Isn't For You, and I start in Leicester and then two weeks at Soho theater and boy, oh boy, do I need some gays to come to Soho. And Emma Blitz coming. Yeah, that's so sweet. But please come to Soho because the tickets haven't sold yet. Thanks. Don Gushin.

Bye. Welcome to the pod. I want to start by thinking of your Disney character. We both spoke at the same time and we went totally different ways. Which Disney characters? I don't know. Is it someone from Moulin, perhaps? No.

Don't do that. Do not do that to me. You could be like Mishu. Except it's Moulan. You're the woman dressed as the man. For sure. Yeah. That would be my drag act.

He's not Moulan. I'd just be pure Moulan. I'd love that. I'd fight for my father on stage. Yes. She's fighting for her country as well as her daddy. I can't believe you opened this with some racism. How was that racist?

I'm going to tell you what Disney character you are. He said Mulan. You knew that you couldn't think of another one. We all know that you couldn't think of another one. I'd be surprised if he started this in Ellen, didn't say something bad. It wouldn't feel that. Right. You're in the last dragon.

It wouldn't feel right. Back in the last dragon. All different kinds of Asians. Yeah. Four nations... I'm not a gay. I'm panicking. Huge Davies. Thank you so much for being here. Hello and welcome.

And more importantly, thank you, which I assume is what Helen meant to say when we started this, for doing our frankly wonderful theme tune. Oh, yes, of course. How's it been going? People have learned it. People are obsessed.

As in, there's two takeaways. Either people love it. They sing it merrily at us, or they'll be like, it's such an earworm. Why is it such an earworm? I can't stop. I can't.

It won't go away. I can't stop it. That is my body of work, to be fair. Yeah. And I love it. Everyone goes, I hate what you do, but I can't stop thinking. I think it's a lovely theme tune. It's amazing.

And also, you were so thorough with it because we didn't discuss it in person. It was just over WhatsApp. And you went, what vibe? And I said, pop. And you went, what sort pop, Robin or Brittany? And I was like, Robin. And you went, good. And I went, yes.

And then you sent through three options. And that was it. It was like so easy. That's an extremely accurate way of, like, I want to have everyone like that. I'm like, good. Thank you. Is it good?

Is it bad? We love it. And people love it. So thank you so much. How are you? But no soul. Very dead. Yeah, for a musician, pretty bad.

Yeah, like, because musicians are supposed to be like. He's got a top knot. What do you want from the man? Smiles. Just someone, you say, off you, vape juice. I don't know. Yeah, exactly. all the usual stuff

how are you how have you been I've been fine actually yeah how are you feeling about the new year as we come to the close of January oh the new year new me I'm starting YouTube channel what a shame oh my gosh that is a new year new year I'm just going to check in

Andrew what's the date this is going out this Thursday great okay cool so end of January you're starting a YouTube channel well we have started at Helen was the first I don't want to talk about it you guys can talk about it oh my god I've heard about this So it sounds, it sounds...

It's pretty like... It's a fun watch, I'd say. But not a fun participation. How does that work out? We watch the 100 worst rated films of all time. Me and my friend Ben Kavanaugh, who's another musical comedian. We watched the 100 worst ways of films and Rot Tomatoes just straight in a row.

Oh my God. It's devastating. But the whole thing, that was not made clear to me before I arrived. You have to watch the whole film. Yeah, the whole film. And then you record yourselves reacting to that? Basically, I'm trying to finish it. Okay, and what's the channel called?

It's called Comedians Indoor's Watching TV. But the series is called Comedians Watch the Rise. I walked off. It was the first episode and I left. Yeah, we've had a few walk out. You walked out. I couldn't do it. It was Jason Statham, the dungeon siege,

colon, the returning of king or something. Yeah, pretty bad. Jason Staten plays a farmer called Farmer. Oh, no, no. Oh, that sounds terrible. You know when you're like, you hear of something and you're like, that'll be great, but you don't think about the practical implications of it.

Like having to be there? That's the thing. Like, Hugh Messages, like, hey, do you want to come over and watch a film? And we've had lots of movie days before. We've watched Whiplash together, King of Com, a fistful of quarters, great films.

Great stuff. Great, wonderful documentaries. The zoo, I was there with the turtle, when, you know, the story about the turtle. You were there when I first saw the food side. Yeah, that was teary. Yeah. Oh, my God.

I was in a bad way. Thursday. Yeah. That's throw back about five years ago now. And also, if you listen to the podcast, like, probably like several episodes, several episodes. Go on. She's being attacked.

Oh, my God, we can't get into it again. So you've had good times, what you're saying. So I thought it'd be great. And then you moved, so I was like, get to see your new place. This is really exciting. I have just, your, your hospitality is poor. Oh, really? And you know that.

Why? Black, it doesn't care. Did you get her a drink? We did have some tea, yeah. I asked. for the drink. Did you give her a biscuit? Are you meant so?

Any film snacks? Popcorn? Yeah, popcorn. Helen took the whole thing and she took it away from me. Why would she assume it was shared? There's a pandemic. Yeah, it's true. I need something to put my hands on because it was very awkward.

I feel like even talking about this is like stirring up. I've never, I've never seen you so like in like you're used to feel I'm fine, I'm fucking fine. You feel closed up, just even thinking about it. And how much of the film did she make it through? Well, you take two breaks. Yeah, you went like to. You started emailing people

halfway through, so. You started picking up gigs halfway through the episode. So mentally tapped down halfway. Like, just couldn't be there. But I just felt like I was... Just couldn't be there. Just I didn't feel very welcome,

I suppose is what I'd say that. Did it feel like a boys club? Not even, I mean, no. Right. Right. It just felt like a bad, like a sort of a sad, divorced dad pad. But just like band made tea.

Oh, the tea? The popcorn was from like a bag of crisps, like that popcorn that never goes out of date in a bowl that clearly had some shit at the bottom of it already. Oh, God. And it's just the two of them. Like, we're watching the film,

but they've only got it on a little laptop, but they need us facing the light for the camera, so you can't really see it. The chair's really uncomfy, and he was like, so we're here for three hours. Three hours? To be fair, you're for there for as long as the film lasts, and unfortunately, your film was three hours long.

We put me on a sofa We're the proper screen We did, Lily did an episode It was an hour and 20 minutes You know, just yes, yeah Like on Friday I guess you like her better Than you like Helen

Well, I think that most people can say that Yeah, fair enough, fair enough Okay, so you didn't have a good time Last time you hung out No Okay, well people can check that out There's a three hour watch You can do

Act, actively don't check it out It's 20 minutes You don't watch So the video is 20 We cut out of the bits where you're sad Oh you cut it down to 20 minutes Don't answer your sister on this podcast. Do not answer the phone to your sister.

Do not do it, Helen. Helen, we are recording. Marianne, is a pancake. Did you see the video? I did. It was so cute. My thorn was... Oh, my fucking God.

No, it was flying back from Dublin. And this man behind me was reading a full broadsheet that he had whipped out. up against my chair and kept consequently touching my seat and sometimes my hair and I turned around

as you do and went several times so like we're at war you just know but he touched at the first time he touched my hair because he moved my seat so many fucking times

and I like to sleep on the flight from Dublin I always always have it's like I usually am asleep before we're in the air and I wake up when we hit the ground stop that's good it's my truly it's my one talent and um he kept your one talent my one talent you've listened you've listened

like a phone one i'm like no yeah that's great that's brilliant well done you yeah no wonderful thank you for believing in me you fuck you helen point is my one talent and he wakes me up by touching my hair so I turned around and said sorry can you please stop touching my hair and he doesn't say anything and him and his wife just look at me like and then he begins to read the newspaper to her out loud I honestly was like, I'm going to fucking kill this man. Maybe she was blind. Maybe he was, I was going to say maybe he was blind. She knew I, she saw the thing with the hair.

That's really sweet. Maybe she wanted him to touch your hair and he was making her day. Honestly, he was like, she was like, I want that shampoo and he was like, what? I hate you both. I wanted to kill him and then wrap his body and papermashes. That's fair enough. That's fair enough. Yeah.

Making me to an art project. It's a fucking newspaper. Yes, I hated him. I was mad. I didn't get my full 45 mince. It was a shame. Your record has been broken. When you got on arrivals, I were like, did you make it?

You were like, nope. Cross your name off. The airport is so much more than sleeping on a 45 minute flight. You've got all the free moisturizers, all the tasters samples. What? Well, where do you get these from? What are you talking about? It's COVID.

There's no samples or free moisturizers. No, you ask them for it. You go like, oh, I'm really considering buying everything at this counter. I'd love to try it out first because I've got psoriasis or something like that. Something sexy and cute like that. Do you say loudly in the seat? I've got a fungal infection. I love to see if it works.

Or you say, hi, I work for Vogue. And then they give you loads of samples and then you're sorted for travel testers forever. I can't believe I have it. I haven't been saying, hi, I work for Vogue in my, like, four cardigans that I couldn't fit in my bag. Yeah, I work for Vogue. I work in the Krusty Face Division. I'd like to moisturise that. The Krusty Face Division.

It's a big section, Helen. Have you read Vogue? I read it every single week. My mum always taught me, like, if I'm ever being wronged by a company, like a phone company or, like, an internet company, if you're ever being wronged by someone, you say, okay, well, can I have this in writing? Because I think my editor at the time has be very interested in this. So you make out that you're going to like make a massive campaign against them. Then they go, oh! Hand power never fails.

What a fucking stunning queen. What a queen. What a queen. I once told someone I was a journalist for The Financial Times because my friend had me too. And then I got on a conversation with someone about that. And it really wasn't that much fun for me. No, I'll bet it wasn't.

Yeah, it wasn't. It was like on a night out. And you have to make up what you do and see how far you get. And I was like, cool. And I said, finance times, opinion piece writer at the Times is fine. Yeah. I don't know. I got you in economics at school.

So I was real problem. Oh, wow. So you really did. Yeah. I was like, I was like money is getting more. Do you even know what GDP is? Because I do. Gross medicine produce.

Gross domestic products. There we are. Gross domestic product. Well done, everyone. Yeah, yeah. Some real geniuses of this table. Can you please tell me your thorn? This should be easier for you.

I think everything. Everything hurts. I think, no, I, there's fishermen that lived in my house. I don't really like them very much. Excuse me, what? There's fishermen that live, actually. Yeah, they're always... You live in London? Yeah, so I live in a place where there's like a big, like, water thing outside.

I don't think he wanted to give away his address. Oh, not... We'll cut that out, please, Andrew. Thank you. You live near a place where people can fish? Yes, I live in people. And then they're always there, and they stay there overnight, and they're always with the torches. And I think that they, like, for fun, they're, like, flash a torch into our flat,

and it scares me. And they're not like that. Because I'm just trying to watch, I'm just trying to watch telly, man. Yeah, you don't need that anymore. Yeah, and they're just always watching our flat, because they're just opposite. Like, my window is here, and they're just fishing, and they'll be there all night long, maybe for, like, seven days. Have you considered closing the curtains?

Nope. I'll do that now. Okay. Something to try You can do anything You can't solve anything I'm in agony and Trustee is that the first problem

We should do a problem We should do a problem Oh my God yeah we should Andrew what's the problem of the week The problem of the week Good point Do you want to tell us to your Thorne very quickly Helen The fact that my sister called

I answered it and she was being really cute instead of a bitch So everyone now thinks I'm a bitch But she's actually a dick So the same as every week Yeah Yeah okay All right

Hi Catherine Helen Andrew and special guest. Hello! Hello, special guest! I've been to just into the podcast and love it, so thanks so much. No, thank you. That's so nice.

Anyways, here's my issue. Basically, I've known this guy for about five years, brackets with both 23. I'm sorry, can I get the initials of this person? G, this is G. This is G, she or he? She has known this guy.

They're 23. They've known each other for five years. Yeah. Okay. So since 18. Good math. Thank you, Andrew. We've been hooking up and hanging out

for basically the whole time we've known each other, he left the UK to study abroad. What? Before he left, he told me he loved me and asked me to be his girlfriend. I never gave an answer, though, because although he's cool and I like spending time with him,

we're super different. Plus, he was about to leave the country. Anyway, my actual problem is he's asked me to pick him up from the airport and stay at mine for a few days before he goes home. Yes! So I want to know what you guys think I should say. There is an extra bit of detail in their relationship.

A couple of years ago, she asked him if they could be in a relationship and make it more serious and he rejected her and was kind of rude about it so there's lots of back and forth lots of professions of love and now she has this dilemma

of whether to pick him up at the airport and let him stay what should G do? Oh my God, you live in a Sally Rooney novel what's going on? Every element of that I fucking loved me too, the drama that was just sort of like the twist the turns

I will say this really quickly off the bat you asked him out he said no he was rude it was a couple of years ago around the age of 1920 I'm not saying all behaviour should be immediately forgived but none of us are the best

Forgiven, forgiven forgiven maybe Maybe you can be forgiven It's not a word It can be forgiven maybe Well it is a word in the past tense Oh you know what fuck it good love with your life gene Pick him up I don't care

Fuck him fuck him Poik holes in the condong Have a baby make it painful Have a good life No, I don't care. I don't care, because clearly whatever I do is wrong. I do! Oh my God, stop.

Wow, gee, that was a roller coaster. Bear with. So I would think, you okay there, Helen? You're right? You're forgiven, it's all right. And then... I've got a learning disability. It's called dyslexia, and I will be respected for it.

I have dyslexed, and I don't think this comes into it. I'm so, gee, I'm so sorry. I hate this happen to you. I was trying to make it and feel better. So I was like, no, it could be the past tense. Even then, it's for game. Okay, so I think, what do you think, Hugh? I think it, I mean, just go for it.

I think I didn't just go for it, mate. Just go for it. Because it's like, because you probably was wonder, you know, if it's bad, if it's not great, it's probably not great. But then you've got it out of the way you have to think about it anymore. That's fine. my feeling is you already know the answer that's my genuine instinct

is that G knows whether or not they want to and there's either one of two things holding her back so either it's that she feels like she wants to but she's been hurt before and there's some sort of self-protective thing happening that means she's like well he said no to me and it's like yeah but he's also come to you and it's three years later and changed his mind

and put himself out there and is again putting himself out there and ask you just come and get him so perhaps either like you let that guard down and go for it if you want to or you don't want to and you're bringing that up as some way of reasoning out of it when you don't actually have to justify

not wanting to. Yes, you spend a lot of time together but if you don't feel that way then that's absolutely fine. I think like saying you're different feels like that's only relevant if you need an excuse. I mean most people aren't the same as their part

apart from those people on Love Island who are like, he's like the male version of me and I'm like that sounds like a fucking nightmare. I know, but they're so beautiful. I know, but why, who wants to date themselves? They always do that in first dates. I found that really irritated when they're like, oh, my God, we're so alike.

It's like, they did match you on a thing. Like, the producers did, is like, I can't believe that someone else is this into Lego as I'm. I'm like, you've listed that as your main interest in your whole life. Yeah, yeah. In the form. Yeah. Like, yeah, and, of course, they've picked someone who also likes Lego and is tall and handsome. And also, it's tricky, because famously I was dating last year going for guys that were just like me,

and I was just a series of gay men. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. gay men being like, I love musical theatre. And I was like, oh, I love musical theatre. Exactly. And I'd be like, oh, again, damn it. Yeah. Why are you doing the girls pass?

Stop singing an alphabet. I'm alpha. I would say also don't just put that much pressure on it. Like, it's like, you're the feeling of the, the feeling of like fate or something because it was like five-year-old thing. Oh my God, I don't have a bit of a 23-year-old girl. No, you're putting pressure on it either way. Fate is everything.

No, I know. Be vulnerable. Risk it. Have a break day. move country it's going to be amazing gee you're going to cry for about three years you're going to significantly change his hair color but you are going to thrive at the other end of it has anyone reported this podcast not to the police yet no not to the police but reported it just to some sort of word yeah yeah who do you think they could tell you can't tell on us huge

who do you think you're going to tell on us to um I don't know the um the principal yeah the principal the principal yeah yeah we're told them boys at off menu that you're giving people bad advice. No, but I'm with you. I think G does know what she wants to do. If you want to be with him and give it a try. And I think Huge makes a really good point, which is like,

it doesn't have to be fate, but also like, if you're going to wonder your whole life whether or not you, like, you can't not do it in case it goes badly because then you'll still wonder and maybe it'll go well. Maybe it'll go. Also, you're 23. I think like it doesn't, it could go well for two years and that is a success. Like every, not every relationship

has to last forever for it to be having, to have been worth it. And if you have it in your head that it's like, I don't want to go pick him up and then let him stay because I feel like I'm bending over backwards to make everything all right for him. Don't pick him up. Just let him stay.

He can figure out his own way to yours and you can put like a whoop cushion in his bed. Or like a thumb tack on something. But also him staying at yours are going to get him doesn't have to mean I'm your wife now. It can be like, yeah, I'll pick you up. I've missed you.

Yes, you can come and stay with me. And we will work out the terms of everything else thereafter. It's not like one means the other is also. And then final option, I'd say, DM us all privately. And we will arrive and do like a love actually thing. Like play the music out loud, get cameras, get Hugh Grant to be like love. I want no part of that. Although huge good thing.

I'll run to the airport. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Of course, I'm not, I'm not white. Oh no, you would be arrested for sure Oh, Colin Frizzle Oh nice, I love that for you

The one that goes to Wisconsin Wisconsin boobs And he's got a big knob You know that one? Yeah, I know And then all the women in America are like, you're so funny Oh my God, tell us another story

That's amazing That's a fantastic That's a strange storyline in love actually Okay, gee, text me Yeah I also think that you should

let us know what happens I'm invested in this rom-com Please let us know I basically want to know but it's all very exciting and also you know just make sure that

like you still assert that you care for him if you don't want to be with him and that you are still open to being friends if you are because I think that's that's also fine yeah it's also fine

and you don't have to choose one of the other but yeah and you've been advised by the trusty hogs oh no you got to make it stuff you got to make a lot I'm trying, like, button at the end.

No, that's... Please make a stop. Should I work that into the new theme tune for the next series? No. It's a lot of snorting. No. Like, it's like, I go through the fog. And as it goes on, it gets drowned out by snorting.

And like, like, maybe get like hell like a trough. You guys, do you guys, do you guys, do it out of, maybe we could call that sound too. Okay, thank you all guys. Huge, before you go, please. I have to ask, because so many other. guests have given such a shit version acoustic no a cappella version of

the um Chloe pads we can say it Chloe's not I mean a good singer in some ways she's great singer she's a good singer she's good singer she's yeah no no yeah we all love Chloe's voice but Chloe got some of the words wrong and honestly

Clem cannot let it go like literally got like a possessive man or something like I got like a I said like it's the rather than there or something and um and oh boy

Chloe's such a dominant force it's so fun when she fucks up maybe it's like oh my god Chloe Pest fucked up and Clems such a peddent I was there from the beginning with Chloe we started together I've seen the days

where she wasn't a real good comedian we actually watched the first video I don't believe you we watched the first video we ever did together which was in our stand-up course our first me Olga and Sam Lake

and Chloe we watched our first ever sets on a train that's a course for star yeah and it was like devastating Like we thought it'd be a really fun idea and in the train we just couldn't like look at each other anymore and then like Chloe almost had a panic attack

Tom, Chloe Perth we know you're listening babe Do you want to do a live version? Okay, I'll do a live version You won't remember the lyrics I don't know if I remember, okay That's so savage Through the fog

Come through the trusty hogs Yeah, you're gonna give them your problems And they will solve them And maybe they won't And that's your problem. They'll have guests. And Andrew White on the tech. Yeah.

It's Helen and Catherine has the trusty hogs. And trust those trusty hogs or maybe not. Amazing. Are you able to promo yourself or shall I do it for you? I can promo. I want you to plug the artist if no, Catherine didn't make the edit. Okay. Okay.

I wasn't in the show I was just in the village you were filming in You walked into the middle of the shot and said hello to one of the Prince Flanches in his main scene Oh hi Seville I didn't know

Oh hello dear To be fair to Catherine I didn't know you're filming You were dancing too weren't you You were dancing to the shot You put on your flute for a second And I said Seneil will you have a potato

Yeah I was yeah We say potato here that's okay potato potato um yeah we have a sitcom called the artist

on channel four yeah you do on YouTube you can find it on all four I think while the time this comes out Helen's in it

Sue Niel's in it Neil O'Rourke's in it She may Parker's in it Travis is in it Travis is in it Travis I love Travis Travis Travis is in it

so good yeah it's good fun go go go watch it it's pretty silly I'd say watch that instead of your show yeah

wow They're both his show. If you're making a choice, I'd go to the artists. Yeah. And then if you want to watch me, be on the back foot, I guess. I think what you're saying is it's what strange because you're saying, don't watch a video in which I'm having a kind of a breakdown. And everyone's, that's what people listen to this for.

Wow. Wow. You know? Do you think by the way? You know what? You are, Moulan. There, there, done. Everyone happy now?

Do you think somewhere somebody is recommending that somebody, listen to You'll Do instead of Trustee Oaks. They're like, listen to her podcast, but like, you'll do not trusty Ours. Don't listen to her doing that for me. Like, Daddy look at me was so good. Like, are you serious? Are you not going to do any more

of them? You're just going to do it with Catherine Bowhart instead. It feels like you're quoting someone now. But Rosie's is her, duh. Yeah. Are you now just quoting your agent? That feels like a crazy call to me. Wow. I guess.

Bullshit. Rosie sent me the biggest book. box of chocolates the other day and then my friends ate them so to me why did she do that just could be sending to the gifts all the time oh that's i know it's really weird i don't know why we do it it's lovely it's called being a friend what are you banking i'm rosy's panck actually rosy's have a pancake magnet yeah okay that's amazing that's amazing big fans that's all great huge you've been amazing guests people should check out the artist they should also find you on twitter instagram ticto oh no thank you okay Yeah, okay, huge Davies, lovely.

All right, thanks so much for listening, Hogs. See you. What episode was this number? 217. 17. 17. Okay, so we'll see you next week for number 18. And if you haven't already signed up to Patreon, please do.

We're getting so close to making it a show that makes money. I spoke your name wrong at Starbucks. Okay, we really appreciate your support. Conisitur, ta-ta. Is that goodbye in Irish? No, Sloan. Slon! It's not even close.

Slon hug. Thank you everybody. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. So we want to do a shout out to our amazing support as we've got so far. Thank you so much to our executive producers, Janina Battista, Simon Moors, Guy Goodman and Mary Fox were so grateful.

You're the buzz! Thank you. Thank you. And to our incredible producers, Melissa Dunkeld, Kerrig Jute, Sarah and Molly, Aidan McQueen, Caitlin Liff, Katelyn Liff, Joe. Zoe, Kim Doyle, Lee Myerskoff, Rachel, what are you doing? You were just punching the air every time. Could I want to celebrate all of them?

Lee Myers-Coff, Rachel, David Walker, Tim and Dom, Kira Leach, S.D. Dubs, L, Richard Bold, Sadie Cashmore, Neil Redmond, Claire Owen Jones, Jess and Nick, Victoria Hutchison, Emma Walton, Anthony Conway, Karen and David Bull, Harold Van Dyke. Wow, thank you. You make the world a better place.

God bless you. better? Yes. Thank you. Thank you so much.