Trusty Hogs - Ep175. SOPHIE WILLAN / Pistes, Posture & Prestwich

Episode Date: February 27, 2025

From skiing stories to coil calamities, someone once described Trusty Hogs as the ultimate tonal shift and that is especially true this week! Joining us, the creator of Alma's Not Normal, the brilliant SOPHIE WILLAN...FOLLOW SOPHIE: @SophieWillanNEW MERCH: www.trustyhogs.com/merchThank you so much for listening!Support us at www.patreon.com/TrustyHogs for exclusive bonus content, merch, and more!Trust us with your own problems and questions... [e-mail] give us a follow @TrustyHogs on all socialsBe sure to subscribe and rate us (unless you don’t like these little piggies - 5 Stars only!)All links: https://audioalways.lnk.to/trustyhogsSNThank you to our Patreon supporters...EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Guy Goodman / Simon Moores / Stefanie Catracchia / Oliver Jago / Anthony Conway / Neil Redmond / Angela S / Sadie Cashmore / Sarah DeakinPRODUCERS: Elle / Richard Bald / Harald van Dijk / Tim & Dom / David Walker / Rachel R / Claire Owen-Jones / Sarah & Molly / Raia Fink / Cordelia / Rachel Page / Helen A / Tina Linsey / Amy O'Riordan / Abbie Worf / Matt Sims / Luke Bright / Leah / Kate / Liz Fort / Taz / Anthony / Klo / Becky Fox / Dean Michael / Sophie Chivers / Carey Seuthe / Charley A / KC / Jam Rainbird / Tamsyne Smith-Harding / Ezra Peregrine / Bryn / Laura Pollock / Leah Overend / Steven Chicken / Hayley Singer / Dougie RobertsonWith Helen Bauer (Daddy Look at Me, Live at the Apollo) & Catherine Bohart (Roast Battle, Mock the Week, 8 Out of 10 Cats)FOLLOW HELEN, CATHERINE & ANDREW...@HelenBaBauer@CatherineBohart@StandUpAndrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Bonjour, beonvenu at episode 175 de Trosti Hoggs. I'm back from Geneva. No, I'm back from La France. I'm back from skiing. Lejeet. Oh my God, Helen! Okay, I am genuinely shocked to report that I, class warrior, Irish woman, genuinely like not very outdoorsy gal.

Catherine Beauxhart, who's never been a natural at any single sport in her whole life, had a good time skiing. I hate you now. And you know what's weirder? It's because I got absolutely negged by a French man called Roben, my ski instructor, who opened with, Don't panic. It's not cool to panic.

And I was like, tell me I'm not cool eight to nine more times, which he did and I will be, I'll do anything, anything. He was fantastic. It turns out if you just fling me down in a mountain, there's not what I can do about it. trusty hogs yeah you're gonna give them your problems and they will solve them or maybe they won't and that's your problem they'll have guests and Andrew White on the tech oh it's Helen and Catherine as the trusty hogs trust the trusty hogs or maybe not I loved it Helen you have changed

No, I loved it. You are, you like control, you like to know what you're doing, to be flung down a mountain. This is what happened. Do you know what I think it was? One, I think I was expecting to be atrocious. So the fact that I could stand up, I had a mother who worked in a children's hospital my entire life. So we weren't allowed to skateboard, rollerblade, ice skate, skate, roller roller skate, like any of it, none of it. You were not to leave the house.

No, genuinely if you could have made that a rule, I think she would have out of risk. Like she was so, but she was particularly worried about things like that on wheels or anything like that where you were, she saw a lot of broken wrists, broken, you know, arms, elbows, all that job. So we weren't allowed to do it at all. I was, I'm an extremely fearful risk averse person. But I don't know. I love snow. Yeah, okay.

And I was like, okay, worst thing that happens is there would just be lots of fresh snow as well. Ellen kept saying things like, a fresh powder drop and I like, shut the fuck off. See, that, that is what. people don't like yeah I agree I agree with you I come fully shut up I know I agree I agree like let's not make a wanky but I'm also like we're not picking up cocaine

let's just relax oh no they are there Catherine that's what they are as well 100% probably well maybe fair plate if you've got cocaine up those mountains but I'd be very impressed that's what they love to do but listen is this the kind of show people want to sponsor yes yes but so I also was just like really freaking out about

the like element of a group activity organized fun I just didn't know how I'd feel about any of but we got there first of all get there and it's a huge so we walk in and Ellen starts laughing because she usually has to share a room with one or two of her brothers like she was like what the hell is this we had a chalet that was like this huge room with a big fire in the center of it and then everyone had a room with their own on suite off of it so wait can I ask a couple of questions yeah because I've done lorgette before this wasn't staying separately we all stayed in the same place which was so fun okay so everyone's in one is it one of the apartment

ones? It's like a chalet apartment yeah so there's four couples. Off the main road like just back from the main road with a theatre at the end kind of yeah. Okay I think I went to that because Tom and Maisie was staying in one. Yes across from the

intersport. Yes. Okay so we're at Lejeet we're staying in this place and so already it feels a bit like oh there's a fire and they fill the fridge we were like acting like we'd all want a competition there was booze there was booze they like you got to go out for dinner wherever you wanted what

we honestly kept being like every time we went we'd go out for dinner and honestly every time we'd be like surely someone's going to stop us now like we'll go to leave and someone would be like yo what the hell but instead everyone was just like bonsoir be bonjour merci bucou

bye and I was like well not bono and you didn't pay but no it was crazy Ellen was losing her mind obviously I had to do a gig she didn't even have to do that she was just like obviously doing one gig wasn't even enough It was also, we went with Maisie and her gorgeous husband, Heaven on Earth. Angels.

Ian Smith and his gorgeous girlfriend, shout out Becky. Angels. And then Pierre Novelli and his gorgeous fiancé. I'm sorry if it's a secret that they are straight, but I've told you all. Angels. Angels, angels, angels. And I'm obsessed with Pierre Noveli who kept diagnosing me as autistic the entire trip. And we, he was so funny as well because he, so Ellen and Maisie, pro skiers.

Yeah. they're already on black slopes day one and that's is that the hardest one that's the hardest one and they're going off piece what does that mean it means they're like huh we could take this black run or we could go through the fucking trees and snow to find our own insane mental insane right that is when i've seen videos online of people going off piece and they're going through the words and then there's just like a ski hanging up and there's someone dead below the snow okay i don't think that happened that happens every day so they were doing this right and they're also doing it having had like plenty to drink at lunch

deranged but so Mike and Pierre and I and Ian would go off to our lessons and the nice thing was Pierre obviously day one Pierre comes in and is like he's like he hasn't he's only skied once as a kid

and he was like what are you wearing under your salopets like jeans and I was like no you don't wear fucking jeans under your salopets my guy don't you have like long johns or tracts or something and I was like see what are what are salopets you have to explain the whole thing okay so he goes back Trousers.

Touses. Touses you wear to ski. No, there doesn't need a name. Everything doesn't need a name and skiing. Okay, fine. I are, oh. I feel like I've lost you a little bit of a friend. No, no, that's fine. Come back.

I'm back. Right. Sorry, I'm present. Okay, so we go back and he obviously goes into his room and I'm like, this guy. I thought I was bad. This guy, I've never skied before, but this guy thinks he wears jeans on the slopes. He's fucked. I love that you've already made a competition.

He's phenomenal. He's phenomenal. He's immediately phenomenal. He's unbelievably good. It's so funny. but the nice thing was Mike and he really let me like come with them which was nice and I was doing like I did a bit of red a lot of blue by the end and I had a great first I just loved it I think I was just you know something being outside and only having to achieve getting down a mountain you couldn't

think about other things you could only think about three meters ahead of you I loved it and also cheese and wine for every meal yeah okay it's like forced mindful I loved it. I slept so well except for here was my issue. I was loving the skiing. Thank God. I was loving this slightly problematic, definitely problematic, like cowboy and Indian themed slopes. I was loving it. Super, super tricksy, but I was loving it. They were, what a laugh. Those TP-themed roots were. Here was my issue. Believe it or not, it wasn't that. My issue was what I am scared of was heights. Yeah. So I didn't mind skiing because I'm on the ground.

But then we would go on the chairlift. I could do with a button lift. Button lift I love. That's the one where you hold on, but you're like, you got something under your bum. And you're on the ground. Fine.

Obviously fine. If I fall, I'm on the ground. Chair lifts, I fucking hated. Like detested with every fibre of my being. And you'd be on them with like a French kid who'd be like shouting down to somebody else who's doing like a jump and they'd be like,

Borrow! And I'd be like, do you want to sit back? Do you want to sit back? And by day three, I got really bad dreams of I would be in higher and higher and higher chair list. Oh my God. Everything was always, I would close my eyes and I would immediately be up high, up high,

looking over, looking over. And they'd stop sometimes and you'd just be creaking in the fucking middle of the sky. Are these the ones that don't have a barrier that comes down the front? They have a bar that comes down, but they don't have walls. Okay. And jem le maire. I love walls. Big fan, it turns out.

But I did not like that. those at all. Okay, Francis and I queued up to get on one of these but they wouldn't let songs because we didn't have skis all I didn't actually get told that story. Did Macy tell you that?

We cued up and we were like this looks so fan and they were like, no, you can't just write this for fun and we were definitely. I was like, why would anyone want to go on these? I hate these and Macy was like, hell I'm trying to go on when she wasn't even skiing. And I was like, oh man, I wish I had that

enthusiasm for heights. I don't. She was trying to make me feel better but it didn't work. I was like, no, I hate this. I can't. I mean, I'm so. when you messaged me saying how much you enjoyed you were enjoying it when you were there still

I was like I'm happy I'm happy for Catherine thank you I'm happy forever part of me was a bit like oh please don't please don't come back as because in my mind to be clear I hated the people you were going I loved this game that's the fear is that you were going to come back going should we go roggers at the weekend or suggesting that we go to what's that thing that when all those um knobs are fucking cunts gather in Twiknam oh the row is in funny different costumes. The rugby? There's something that happens in Twickenham.

Isn't there something about rowing? Where did they do that little boat race? Oh, that's Oxford, Cambridge. Oh, there we go. Oh, is that in, I don't know. No, there's something that happens in Twiknham where like all the assholes and they all wear, they're all like,

we're wearing crazy outfits. And they're just like, Super Mario and Luigi. Please, Zofia. What? Maybe Henley, who knows? That's the boating one. That's the boating one. Well, they're, shame on them as well.

Let me say this, though. here's what I'll say. But you're not them now. No, because there was a point where we were in Geneva airport on the way back and I was like, wow, there's a spectacular energy to this place. And then Mike was like, it's airport levels of rudeness, but everyone's rich. And I was like, that's what it is. It was the most obnoxious, vile gathering of people I've ever met in Geneva Airport. But other than that, it was gorgeous. And you were fine walking around. That's where I read, this is with me in Francis like could not get on board with them because we they shovel all the paths I feel I feel so embarrassed now about the chat I gave you before I was it on the phone I run you up and you were

like you can only tumble to you can only tumble to it was like a Sunday morning and I got on face time and I was like right are you ready to go because this you listen to me and take notes you will only want to leave your cottage or wherever you're staying once and you want to get all the food at the supermarket in that one trip because you will not physically be able to get there again. This is a market's around the corner by the way. Okay, we were like, okay.

Can I just give this a little bit of context? I don't want you thinking that I was like in this, like we were in a chalet, just the two of us, down a slope outside of town. Okay, no, I didn't have this. And we had to walk there and we physically couldn't get anywhere. Once we were in, we were in and we couldn't get back up the slope unless we like got on all fours and climbed.

I'm not joking. They have paths, Ellen. Right, the paths stop at a certain point and then it's just, well, good luck to you. No. And we're units, me and Francis. Like, we're big. When we go down, we go down. Like, it's rough.

Wow. No, we just had paths everywhere. Do they bring you food to the chalet? The chalet had already been stocked up when we got there. Noz. There was booze. We got there and I was like, also, I don't know if Macy listened to the spot. But what she doesn't know is that I brought, as I always do, because I don't know what the situation is, a cool bag. Of course I did.

And as we left, there were whole fucking blocks of cheese, French cheese in the fridge. I was like, merci beaucoup. So I got a huge savoy and a huge comtee. And I brought that home. Don't mind if I do. Also, when I was in Geneva, a man in the airport said my French was good, so I died of excitement. And also, if you go around Geneva Airport, enough time. you can get so many free lint don't mind if we do yeah i really got a good hole but i had a gorgeous fucking time you can tell you're glowing ellen was so happy like in that way that like a kid who's been to alton towers a few times it's like she'd been taken to disneyland and it was all free thank you she was just like what do you mean we can just go what do you they were so her and macy were adorable they'd be at lunch and you'd be like guys finish your lunch and they'd like we just want to go back skiing and you're like oh my god you guys are so cute um no we had a really

time and i absolutely love my macy's husband and we just kind of skied together and he was divine you had a perfect week he would make me omelets in the morning i'm really thinking of getting a husband they're so nice ellen can make humblets too no she can't why i don't know she doesn't really try i'll make you an omelette but come here to me after all of this yeah we ski for a week not an injury between us we get home safe i'm like holla fucking luya i'll be honest the last day i was like, I don't need to ski so much today. I'm so glad I haven't injured myself. Well done me.

Amazing. Get home on the Saturday. Sunday, we go for, I go for the very first time ever to watch Ellen play football. She immediately gets pushed down by a woman. What I can only describe as a soul. She wasn't anywhere near the ball. Gets pushed over by this woman and immediately sprains her ankle, having gotten through a week of skiing.

She would cut her knees. She was bleeding. She was crying. Ow. Yeah, it was awful. And she was like, I'm better. better than it's usually and it was so sad and sweet and M was there as well and she saw and Ellen was so embarrassed and then she was trying to be like I'm fine I'm fine but she obviously wasn't

fine so then I had to take her to the hospital and she sprained her ankle because she got pushed over by a woman who doesn't understand that football doesn't have to be a contact sport you know what I hope that woman's listening I hope she stubs her fucking toes don't push why to watch for what end she wasn't even it was like what why it's a whole push me don't Push Ellen. Also, Ellen plays football so gently. Like, it's not a contact sport to her mind. She's just like, we're having fun with their friends.

And this girl, like, hoofed her. It was fucking awful to watch. I was so angry. Was she very apologetic, though? No. Oh, you fucking, you fucking, you narcissistic, sociopathic, bitch. Didn't acknowledge it. It was crazy.

Did not acknowledge it. The politics on that pitch was insane. Is this a lesbian football group? Yeah, gold diggers. Thankfully, but this was the opposing team that they were from a league. Thankfully, Ellen's, team has a cool doctor on it, Dr. Kim. Thank you, Dr. Kim.

So Dr. Kim took care of her. Oh, my God. It was so cute. Also, I understand. I scored a really good goal. Oh, that's good. And I understand the ankle sprained. Are you playing football?

No, but because I spray my ankle several times a year. Oh my God. Is this like from going outside that you get these. It's bad, Catherine. It's bad. But yours are always like, what happened? And you're like, I got a bed of bed. Yeah.

Yeah. That is, it's awful. it's falling down a curb or just walking. I always step on leaves with a plastic bag under them. What? Terrible. And I spray it and my ankle doubles in size. You've seen it.

It doubles in size and all the blood pools at the bottom. And thank you to the trusty hogs listener. And I cannot remember your name who messaged me. It's like two months ago now. And said, and said, you have what we like to call as a wankle, which is a weak ankle. And they suggested. I thought that was a weak ankle. key feet term. I have a wankle. I have a wankle. I genuinely assume that

was a wiki feet term. That feels like an ankle people have thought about. That's disgusting. Poor hell. Why's called a wankle? That's a horrible name. Because it's a weak ankle. To me that makes sense. Just call it a weak ankle. A wankle sounds disgusting. A wankle sounds like, well... I have a wankle but it doesn't hurt right now, but it could. I tell you what would make it always feel better. A wankle feels like a creepy uncle. Do you have any comtee laugh? Ooh. Ew! Ew! This is my uncle. This is my uncle. and there's my wankle wankle jerry i don't like it i don't like it yeah it's just like i've just

i've got an uncle jerry and he's very nice so don't read into that to not read into that don't read into that jerry don't read into that um yeah if you i tell you what would help because thinking about my wankle makes it twinge oh don't say thinking about my wankle i have to think about no one else is Catherine so I think about my uncle um I think what would help me is do you have any comtee left no I've eaten it all it was delicious did you have it in a cheese toasting but I have a giant savoy it's genuinely this size it's like a creamy cheese it's delicious it's like the green roulette thing no it's no no no no it's not that creamy it's like a semi-sort I don't know how to describe it but it's like this size it's like half a wheel

that's too I'm so happy much to have a high You must be constantly thinking about it. Yeah, I'm pretty thrilled. You know, when people are like, have you heard the term food noise? Like, I've only heard it recently. I have heard the term food noise, but only in the justification of absolutely bananas, bullshit. But I think that's maybe what it's for. I wonder if we've heard it in the same place.

On Instagram. Yeah. On the algorithm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. People are talking about food noise. And I was like, oh, I wonder if I have, because I'm like, obviously I'm like addicted to food.

So I'm like, maybe I've got food noise. But I don't think I've ever heard it because I'm too busy. no I have heard food I definitely have food obsession and that is the constant chatter around food what I'm going to have next what I'm allowed what I've technically allowed but how could you not have you got half a wheel of cheese in your fridge yeah but also I have it all the time so I might as well

just you know chat away with it yeah might as well be like ooh and what else is in there making a two-way conversation come on a lot me and the food noise are best friends mind if I join add cream room for a little one no it's true I had an absolutely delicious dinner last night because I

you know, I'm back on Hello Fresh, and I had Creamy Mushroom Regatoni last night, and it was fucking delightful because I've been watching, pair as well with Alan Carr's Changing Ends, have you watched it? No. Is this the changing rooms thing? Oh, Andrew, you'd love it. It's a tiny homosexual who loves football, no, his dad loves football.

Oh, that's very different. That's a very different story. Close enough. That's like being like, oh, Billy Elliott is about this tiny homosexual that loves mining. I would so watch that version of the air. Andrew, it's close enough. it's like electricity powered by call

that was a very good deep kind to Billy Ali the musical if you are a fan I'm loving the Rachel incident by the way speaking of capital recommendations yes really I'm about halfway through oh my god I'm so glad isn't it every single time you've made

a chapter you're like yeah what? Oh my god I love her so much wait wait wait I missed half of that oh I got Andrew a book for Christmas called the Rachel incident and it's brilliant it's just gossip in a book it's so good by Caroline to him and it's so, so brilliant.

I can see such a convergence of your life culture interests. It's a real Catherine Bowhart book. It really is. It is. It's just like a woman who works in a bookshop with a gay best friend who's got drama. Yes, please. I would love to borrow that after you. It's so good.

It's so good. I'm trying to think what have I been up to? Oh my gosh, yes, Helen. Sorry, what have you been up to? No, I'm trying to think because you went skiing. And I feel like I spent most of the week going like, I hope she doesn't love skiing. I hope she doesn't come back

saying things like the Forbes 100 and Wall Street No what is it You know what I mean? Like financing Stocks and shares I hope she doesn't come back saying footsie Butsy I want to play footsie

I want to FTSC I want to come back playing with footsie As we know you are much better with money and finances than I am I'm incredible I have got to stop spending I am incredible just picked up my 5,000 pounds from the government.

I actually had a minor panic and my heart's speeding so fast. I just thought about my money. I'm so bad with it. Never mind. But it's okay because I had a skiing holiday. For free. By free. You should join me on my mindfulness journey

and you check in with yourself so you don't panic anymore and you've got to tell you about this another time actually. Now it's not the right time for you to hear about it. I don't think now is the time. I do not have Piero Belli called me. be autistic every single day of the year every day of the week

which isn't a bad thing to be oh no he the man was saying he was like oh food sensitivity huh noise sense one point he came up behind me with a bottle and just squashed and went noise sensitivity and I was like that's hardly fucking specific to me

my guy that's like no one wants a ball crunch no but it was just based on my personality I think and how easy going you were and how completely relax the plans changing and things not being as I expect them to be and sharing the space

I was at all time but you love being flung down the mountain I did love that part I actually fucking loved it I loved it I loved being cold as well I love being cold because I run so warm yeah but don't you and also then at one point I didn't mean to but I gave away that I'm he figured out that I'm hypermobile

which I didn't realize and he was like apparently that's in the like is that the thumb thing yeah and the like being like able to just kind of do can you do that? The prayer? Yeah I thought all people could not all people but no not everyone can do the prayer behind you what oh my god in this room we can in this room it's a hyper mobile group andrew can you do it what sort of thing i think it's a full pair hands oh absolutely not find your mind i knew it not everyone could do it andrew i could do them that way no it's because i was pulling my ski pole behind me and then

over my head and then back over without breaking and he was like huh interesting yeah oh my Oh, I'm almost there, but no. I love, I love watching something. Almost been no cigar. Oh yeah, it's just fab. It's so fun. And you know what? I like how fast you go.

I was like this. Wee. By myself. But like there's so many people. You know what? It was very quiet when I was there. You know what? I'm supporting you and I'm happy.

I hated the chairlift and I had horrible dreams about the chairliss and I would get a bit of motion sickness on them. I'm happy for you. I'm happy for you. Also I had a bath and you know how I love to bathe every day. Yeah, so I'm happy for you. And I got deep into this podcast hall. I've told you about Distantel. I'm happy for you.

Okay. I'm happy for you. Have I told you about Caitlin's baby? I'm happy for you. It's another podcast I listen to. Tell me about it. Thank you for being so. I'm happy for you.

I love that I'm friends with skiers. I didn't see this for myself. No, listen, I'm shocked too. If it helps, I'll never be able to afford to go on a skiing holiday ever again. Me neither. I just went to the Disney store yesterday. So I went on. Oh, I just mean.

like in life they're so expensive but I had a good if anybody wants to book me for a gig in another ski resort I'd love that there are actually other yes I've heard this they we are so the opposite I that is the only thing in comedy I've ever done where I came back and I rang my agent and I went never again but did you do a lesson did you ski no well then how do you know if you even liked it you didn't do a single lesson I'm not doing it okay well then I think you could have told that you could have guessed from beforehand not doing no I thought it was going a beautiful pictures scenic view you went for the vibes no we looked into it but we had to pay for our own boot rental and all of that it was so expensive you had to pay for boot rental yeah we had to

like that was part of our deal we had to pay for lessons but we didn't have to pay for rental we had to pay I think we had a different deal because I did it the first year uh-huh yeah yeah yeah and we were like ah if we don't like it we sort of spent on that money for a week and the insurance as well. Okay, well, we maybe had a different deal, but I did have to pay for lessons, but I thought it was worth it because I was like,

I want to be good at this thing. Yeah, also like, you're gonna go, you don't know, you don't mean, not your girlfriend skis, like it's gonna, it's gonna come up again.

Maybe we'll go again. I doubt it, but you never know. I had so much fun though. Fuck me, I can see why the rich do it. We all have different ways of having fun.

I went for a mooch on Oxford Street yesterday. Tell me more about that. That sounds like my personal hell. May I say you shop on Oxford Street on purpose. That's hell. Oh, no.

That's hell. I had, I needed to go into town for a work meeting. And then I was like, you know what? I'm having a mooch afterwards. I'm treating myself to a mooch. And when you look so disgusting. I hated. I'm like, where am I going?

Why am I going there? How long do I have to be there? Do I need something specific? Can I get it on the internet? If I can, I'm off. Bye-bye. Well, this is the thing. I looked at the night before because I need a swimsuit, like one that's got some support.

You had to shop for a swimsuit and you're talking about this. It was like, it was like positive. of thing. No, it's awful. Okay, good. But I can't get it online because I need to get measured around the bus to have support, even though I actively didn't want a wired one, but I wanted one big enough that holds the breasts. You don't have to hold them now. I know it you. I must hold them now. But then I went into Bravisimo to try them all on. None of the friends. I made that trip. Hell. But they, I think I found my size. So I've ordered one now online that I think will fit. And then I was like, well, from Barvisimo. From Barvisimo. They've got like a collab with

Speedo. That's the brand, isn't it? It's like a water brand. Yeah. A water brand. A water brand. I don't know why I'm like Evian, Speedo,

volum. You also have approached you in the same way as like Pokemon types. Yeah. They're a water brand. What color is the swimsuit? I think it's just black and blue. I gave me a picture.

Just like black. A bruise of a girl. A little bruise of a girl. Who's that bruise in the water? Because they went to the Lido again to. Like I've outboard swam a couple of times the same. I know. Where?

Don't tell me. Okay. Don't docks yourself, I just realized. How exciting. Are you loving it? You know what? I do. Do you go by yourself?

No. Did you go by yourself? Incredible. Yeah. I love outdoor swimming. It's really nice once you've done it. But I only have like one, basically the swim seat I had to swim in. It's a pool needed now.

They say it is. But like, fuck. fuck me like I swear my clit shrivels up my nipples disappear for the first like three minutes I'm in there you have opposite reactions to me in cold but you know when you get into a cold pool there's like levels of like there's different parts of the body that react yeah like so like like nipples is rough shoulders is rough no one talks about it but clit is tough is tough and cold water I'd say crotch but I wouldn't say clit specifically so for me I have an image in my head of my clip going, ow!

Ow! When I'm getting into cold water. Yeah. Okay. My clit is literally my head. Ow! Mm. Chilly.

Mine's a bit more stoic. Yours is like, hmm. No, mine's just like, I don't really notice mine having a reaction. Mine's sort of covered, I suppose. Mine is like, you're just hanging down. You're just like, let's go. First in the water. women and children

first that's so intense I love the idea that Andrew was trying to picture I'm picturing two little cartoon clips

and they're just you they're just anthropomorphized ewes yeah that checks that mine's like we're fine

yeah everything's fine and mine's like oh no I'm like mine's like it's heated hell and it's fine

it's cold it's cold his knickers heart they don't fit right oh so you went to the moon cup's not

far enough and it's hurting. Why would your moon cup be anywhere near your cliff? Right, I'm not doing this again. I'm honestly not doing this with you again. That's fine. Where do you put your moon cup in? Do you know what I mean?

No, I'm joking. It's not there. I'm aware of that. I want everyone to know that there is a space there. But it goes in. I can't with you. You know what? I can't with you.

I can't with you. I went to the Disney store and I had a lovely time. There you go. The Disney store by yourself? Yeah. It's the second time I've done it where I've just been like,

like, fuck it, I'm going, I did, I bought a mug. Just for you? Don't know what I. For your new house? I wasn't even thinking about that because like, God, I still have it moved in. Shocker. Awful. Helen, it's, it's currently February. Helen has been packed to move into her new flat since December.

I am, like, I cannot describe how stressed me in Sunilah. Because I was supposed to be leaving in December. He must be fucking Desi free to leave. If you told him in December, is he like basically kicking you? he is like is he like a teen when they know you know your parents are going out for the evening and you're like have a good time don't rush back see you I'll be fine

bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye get us is he like that I think we both are oh really like we're sort of like looking at each other like love you love you and we started we were like let's watch a show together that'll be nice you know let's watch a new show together

and um we started watching twin peace Because, like, everyone, you know, talks about it. Particularly now, because the director die. Yeah, David Byrne. There we go. Thank you. And, um... Twin Peaks is Swayzey, right?

I don't think so. He's not in the one I've seen. Let me find you in the film. Is there a film? Now, this is the problem. This is the series, sorry. It's a series, but we started watching it. We watched two episodes.

I'm so sorry. David Lynch. I always made the mistake. David Byrne is the talking heads guy. David Lynch is the director. Apologies to everyone listening. Apologies. Isn't it Swayzy and, um...

no what's his name no Catherine it's not it is I'm watching it and I'm telling her no Patrick Swayze

and what's his name she not listened to Helen Andrew's I say no Andrew I'm right Twin Peaks Don Swayzy Catherine Rung Don Swayzy

I don't know if this is right This is right Can I just say this then Because this is what went wrong We he typed in Twin Peaks onto the TV And we watched two episodes Of Twin Peaks

But it was like a later series and we had no idea what was happening and we were so confused and then we were like, wait a second because we were watching it and Snow went when do you think this was made and I was like God it must have been like 2012 or something

because there's like a plasma screen in it and there's an actress who's in my big fat Greek wedding and she's a bit older and this and he was like no it was actually made in 1990 and I went no it wasn't there's a plasma screen on screen and then we looked it up and we were watching a series that was made

four years ago very confusing so we had to start again and Patrick's ways he's not in it Patrick's no he's not in it he's in um uh what's that point break

that sounds similarish maybe I don't know but it's very good this is sort of very lynchian confusion so it's very fitting having not known his name two minutes ago yeah I'm like suddenly you've got to

book of theories do you Andrew all right lynching actually I think you're fine he's a very good director how do you know are you watching his series or somebody else he's he's done a lot of films he has he's done a lot of films yeah can't name them right now but i love film that's so exciting that's so good hey on this um shall we say lull should we say lull i'm gonna say lull listen while it drags should we introduce our guess i'd love i'd love to here we fucking go she knows story she gets appeal she's wonderful it's the incredible Sophie Willen!

I see the EFG H I, J, J, J, J, J, J. Oh! Yeah, do you know, feel? Sorry, can we just explain to the listener what's happening? I'm having a very confusing day at work because Sophie Willis walked in.

We're on, baby girl, we're on. We'll obviously be blurring that in. When I was slacking off, f***ing up. You're heavy. Beep! Let's start again. Should we start again so we all know we're starting? That's more fair.

Okay. But they are heavy. So be really heavy. Welcome to the podcast. Hello. You two have already compared tits, which honestly was both thrilling, confusing,

overwhelming and honestly, a little bit diminishing and demeaning for me, but very exciting. No, but wait until we compare clits because you've got an absolute thumper. The absolute tiny, tiny breast, but an absolute godstopper of her vagina.

Sometimes it's become so apparent that Helen's never seen anybody else's. It's like, Sweet Helen, come on. Oh my God, I'm so jealous. Wait, so you're a double H? I'm a double H at the moment. On a tiny woman. Yeah, I'm five foot, three. That's a big boom.

Yeah, it's a lot. I've got a big pumpum too, actually. Do you? You don't say two. Don't say two. I didn't say that. Don't say two. I seem to have it all going on in those areas.

Do you have one of those? Pussy. Ass. You got a lot of ass. You got a lot of ass. I know. And they're all. All natural?

Yeah, unfortunately. Yeah, they kind of go... Well, I think it's a lot with ease. Because they go gravity as... If they were, you know, it'd be nice if they were just like, well, I get you. You know, gravity's cruel. Yeah.

And also, you have to think more about everything, I think, with big breasts. Like, you've got to be like, can I wear, like, the right bra with that? Like, strapless is kind of gone. Why do you think I'm wearing, you know, a belly top... Jumper? ...with a strap top underneath, because that won't work alone. Yeah. That doesn't work alone.

together we can work it out we can work it out I love that I assumed that was a normal size jumper but your boobs just decided bell it down that is possible what if we made it belly down how exciting I'm not wearing a bra so fucksy that's I'd like to do that

sorry I never do I never wear one can I ask a question then about like temperature wise yeah because like once for me in the winter once my nipples are cold I'm cold until I'm in a bath or a shower but don't you find they get cold so much quicker with our brown

I'm wearing a woolen vest they're the warmest part of me right now I'd say I don't do that I have mesh so it's all very it's kind of funny woolen mesh I mean who are you woolen mesh I'm a warm I'm a warm sweaty girl is what I am she's an East London bisexual

she knows yeah say no more that makes sense yeah how are you I'm all right but I do need to talk about breasts yeah no let's go to booze and we'll go down but I just have to say

that it's you know for me they get very hot if they've not got a bra on if you've got a bra on the freedom that they have it's like they've just been let loose in the desert they're just off you take it off it's like

well this is scaffolding how far do they go down and it's also they're not sitting on your lap are they? Can do I can get all sorts under my breast and I've been able to do it for years

in fact when I was 16 I could get a three litre bottle of cider under my left breast and spin around, right? And now, I can get, I could get that plant pot. I won't do it because obviously... That's very gracious of you, very dignified. I mean, I could do it behind a curtain, but no, I won't do it.

No, no, good for you. Yeah, but I can do it. Yeah, I can do it. It's amazing, I can go. It's great for festivals if you ever need anything smuggling in. I could do a bottle of wine. Yeah, you could do more than... If I can get that plant part, you can get...

No, no, but a bottle of wine as far as walking around and, like, no one would notice, and I could forget. get that it was better. I mean, they'd notice that tree. 100%. You'd forget a bottle of wine was under it. Easily. You'd have to go red, wouldn't you? You don't want a white wine that warm. Easily. If that'd be perfect

temperature for red, wouldn't it? I'll let it slip down to your hand. More, madam? I'm a little teapot. It does feel powerful, that's for sure. I think big breasts do you feel powerful. But then do you feel that you have to hold your shoulders right back

to be, but then you just look weird. I don't. I don't. I don't. I know and then I started slouching now which takes my power away but then if I do that which is a normal sitting position no it's not normal crazy no it's a power move all right

but I like it looks like I'm doing a power move this is just me holding up my shoulders but it looks too assertive I've never in my life sat with such a good posture wow it doesn't feel natural though I like it I like it too but I want to be here but I really have to make an effort for this

this is like full I'm trying you're supposed to if I'm correct like picture your spine like stacking one piece above the other in a perfect straight line as you sit up. Big Lady Tick class. Wow. Yes.

Copee. Wow. Wow. Unfurling. But I still look too powerful. But don't you? You're also locked now. Can you see your shoulders a lot?

And you've got to stay loose with it. Oh, right. Okay. I thought you would compliment him. I'm sorry. I'm still getting used to my Invisaline retainer. And two women, I'm like genuinely trying not to stare boughs of your tits and I feel like such a teenager

between the two things I'm like hey girls hey girls how you doing Helen recently came out which means that her breast chat is a little yeah oh I thought you meant about your breasts but no not about a bit right you're bye yeah good for you we think we think I love how you never assumed

gay it was always like you're max bye you're always still I don't know nowadays people like to edge in with by don't they before they go full do you reckon that's what I'm doing Possibly. We don't know yet. I think just adventure.

Thank you. I've got another friend who's that I think I'm a lesbian. I was like, do you know what? Whatever, but you at least need to actually do something about it. I'm going to take you to Hebden Bridge. Let's go and watch some lesbian cinema.

You can't just say I'm a lesbian and not do anything that's a part of lesbian culture. Please bring him to Hebden. Yeah, I've got lots of friends. What are your lesbian things? But my lesbian friends are like full-on lesbians before it got cool. before Billy Eilish, they're in their 50s.

Describe full on. Like, well, they're just in the 50s and they were the kind of shoes that you'd expect. They were, you know. And they've got loads of exes that they're best mates with. Why must they do this?

Why has this carried on for so long? I do it. Chatsable shoes, don't mind if we do. But the fucking friends with exes business needs to stop. My girlfriend does it, but I think it's because they, genuinely, I make a joke about it,

but it is so they can keep the football team together. I swear to Jesus, the league would be absolutely on its knees if they could say. I do it, but that's because of my lesbian background. Interesting. I was raised by lesbians in my 20s and I've kept a lot of their day.

So you're friends with your exes? All of them. Even the bad one, actually. I'm even... Even the bad one! I said, the congratulations about his newborn baby. I said, it's really great how you're treating Carrie. A lot better than me, you can't...

But no, that was good. That's a beautiful baby method. My other ex is having a baby. I just sent him a giraffe in the post. A teddy bird giraffe. Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. Get on really well with his girlfriend. Stop.

They're all having babies. I'm entirely straight. I'm a queer person. I've had some dabbles, but I do like penises. And I like male energy. Unfortunately. I mean, I... No, I get that.

No, I'd like to be a little bit more because I actually think women are much easier to date. Interestingly, I think I'm as sexually attracted to men, but much more into female energy. Yeah, right. I want to live with a woman. I don't have any interest in living with her. you don't want to live with anybody, but I like having this male energy come into my life.

I like that. I find that just I like the vibe. Can you feel the energies that people bring to a space? Because like I, my, do you know primal astrology? I'm very into it, yeah. That's so unsurprising. Amazing, so I'm a catfish. I am a butterfly.

Congratulations. You said those, like those were connected, like those were related. I am a totally different thing. Have you ever met a praying mantis or a boa constrictor? No, I have not. I have. I'll tell you a lot. Right, okay.

I need to find out what... My guy I'm with... I'm certainly hard to say a boyfriend. Yeah, the guy, the chef you know. The chef I know, insolently. The chef you know. The chef who you've seen naked. We can find this out.

How long have you been dating this chef? I've been dating him seven months. So basically, me and John split up. I went on Raya. Did you? The celebrity dating her? Yeah. And Carriot messaged me a friend of ours

and just was like, hey, is everything all right? I've seen that you've requested me to add you on Ray. I'm just wondering like, how are you in John? You know, we've finished. And then I went on me, he was my first date on Rea. No. I know. But then I was like, I need to come on.

I need to get out there. So then I went on field, put DTF, had a bit of a wild time, couldn't sit down for two weeks. It's a long boring story. Wait, wait, that is too far down to fuck. You couldn't sit down for two weeks? Oh, it was a lot of, there was a lot.

In fact, I'd discuss this. I'm telling too many people about this on the internet. Don't tell us, don't tell us. I want to know, no, hang on, sorry, no way. I have a question. Yeah. It was just so big that my coil got stuck and I had to have it removed.

It was, I'll leave that. Somebody fucked the coil out of you? You got the coil fucked out of you? How long was the penis? It was really big. There was two actually in the road that were quite, you know, a lot. And I just felt like.

Did you know they were going to be so big before you went into it? Not really, but they had a bit of an inkling with one because there was some photos sent my way. They usually tell you as well as at sea. Yeah, but they all say they're big and you're like, no, they do. I find people don't tell you unless they actually are

because they're like people are. Yeah, I agree with that. I've been told, but then I was a lot younger, but I've been told my voice. I think on field though, it's different because I'm feeling everyone's like, honest. Being open, we're being honest. It's taxonomy central, yeah.

And so therefore it's like you can be quite free. And it's actually really, I think, a really safe, positive space because you can... It's kind of a queer space for everybody, including the hetros, isn't it? So, and I like that.

Up front, say what you want, I just put D, T, F, down to fuck. Oh yeah, no, no one wasn't out. You got split in two, my bag. No, it was just my... My coil went up and they had to remove it. Is it back in?

No. No, you thought... I went coil free after that. Yeah, yeah, fair enough. Just thought... Yeah. Was it like one of those old lights where you have to go reach up

and pull the dink that's how it felt yeah but a lot more pain yeah oh Jesus it hurts yeah it's horrible yeah but she was quick did you have a because sometimes you get a bit like of that um you know when they put it in you kind of get a contraction i don't remember oh it felt horrible yeah horrendous I felt like a cat yes you know when they're having the penis come out no no no I don't know don't say yes yes you know I felt like a cat you know when the penises and you went yep because they don't keep penises spike out yeah pull out so like a doctor Yeah, pork screws, no.

No, no, we're spiking. So what happens is the penis goes in and then, you with me? Spike and then they pull it out and that, I think this blood is, something goes in more into the thing. When you hear cats screaming,

this is exactly what I wanted to come and talk to you about. I hate this, I hate this, I hate this. Yeah, that's why. What does a cat screaming sound? Like, meow! But they're loving it. No. When it comes out

nature's cruel, not just to us. Oh. Wow, well, we're cruel to it, but the podcast didn't ask for that. Oh, sweet Jesus. Hey, here's my question to Sophie. As you know, or may not know, this podcast isn't simply to reveal

the most harrowing things that have happened to you in the last few months, but also to tell us what you think our listeners should do with their problems. Okay, great. Do people come to you a lot for advice? Yes. What kind?

All sorts. Okay, and what kind of advice giver would you call yourself? Direct, intent. Intense. Yeah. Drunk. Yeah. God, I love it.

I was like, honestly I was like, let's go out. Yeah. Let's go out for a wine. I mean, I've held men in my arms, you know, that I don't know why they cried onto my bosoms at midnight and talked about their mother. Many, many times. Free or post.

In a smoking area of any, you know, post. The coil situation. Oh, that with or without. Totally separate with her without. Yeah, well, gorgeous. There was one woman on a train and she just looked sad. This old lady about 66 or something. not old, early 70s maybe.

And she sat across from it and we were travelling back from London and I'm just like, are you all right? And she went, not really. And I said, oh, what's happened? She said, well my husband's just died and I've just been to go and see my son and it's just the idea now

I've got to go back and I just don't know like I'm going back home and it's empty. Anyway, she ended up showing some jaffir kits with her and then I ended up getting a cab home with her going in her house with her and making her a cup of tea and then we sat there for a few hours chatting and stuff

and then I went to, you know, I don't know if you have the things like that kind of happen intensely. How have you gone from the coil story to that beautiful life-affirming earnest moment? But these things happen, well I think they're very, that's life, that's life, isn't it? No, it's not life, not in the South,

that's northern nonsense. I'm sorry, and I want to be, I want to do the sweet reaction that Catherine is doing because honestly, that's the right reaction and it's gorgeous, but that is northern nonsense at its best. I think it's just, I'm an intense person. My grandma was the same, but I don't think a lot of northerners are like that particular.

I think I'm just quite intense. That's so nice. It's more of a villainism, really. Was the highest nice? It was all right. It was a bit sad, really. Yeah, that's tough. It was all right.

It had a Thatcher energy, actually, for hours. It was that kind of energy that even the clock looked homophobic, do you know? You got there and you thought, who am I supporting? Well, no, she was sweet, but it was like traditional. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Thatcherite, right, new money. all that and I just thought and now her husband's dead and a probably gay son has ran off to London and there she is I don't know if you can picture it all no I can absolutely some people who need to can't their tea bags

as soon as they get them home into like a different thing like everything's just like well I do that I do that too yeah no okay you know what I'm gonna stop talking yeah I don't know classic us am I right Sophie okay well I'm fascinated good luck to whoever the listener is your husband better have died

or else we won't be impressed I might be had let's go for a house share problem as we're talking about living on your own and stuff. Okay, fine, go on. This is from F. Hi, F. Hello, F.

Oh, that's so much nicer. At 34, just under a year ago, I moved into my own flat. This is the first time I've lived alone. However, I've spent my adult life considering myself someone who did very well alone and felt incredibly independent and happy on my own. Until this point, I had done the traditional London flat shares, and then about four years ago moved in with my partner, where we lived for two years until,

I broke it off. The shock of now living alone and living in a neighbourhood, just that bit further away from my previously walkable friends, has really hit home this winter, and I found myself increasingly lonely and isolated, which is something I've never felt before. I've done all the things you're meant to do, join a book club, join a gym, make plans to see friends, but I'm struggling to understand why home doesn't feel like home. I'm struggling to cook or enjoy my time there and find it easier when I'm not in the house. It's quite a renovation project, the house, which I also didn't realize beforehand. And I feel panicked inviting anyone around

as they just have to look at bare walls and witness the rancid stained carpets slash navigate the broken toilet. Oh, no. I don't have a budget, so it will be a long climb from here. I spend a good chunk of my evenings, planning or doing DIY trying to make it better, but nothing seems to click just yet.

Any advice will be much appreciated, F. Shall I? I just think, F, you've made some seriously bad life choices. Here we go. It's going to be direct, and she said it. In her defense, you just say she was going to be direct. I just think what you've done wrong, F, is you've not put anything in place to bring joy into your life.

You know, you put yourself in a situation where everything is an uphill struggle. You don't have... No, I'm just going to be honest, you're far away from your community, you've put a house that needs loads of work. You don't have the money to do up the house. You know, if it was me,

I would think maybe this project isn't the project. Because, you know, you can change yourself in terms of, all you want but actually your environment has a big impact we we spend so much time naval gazing as a society don't we like how can we be better but it's like actually sometimes you need to just change your environment i think you should either move closer to your friends sell it move closer to your friends in a more manageable property that's what i would do i'd just be dead practical don't try and make yourself be happy in a shit hole wow it's door number a and it's pretty intense. Helen, you got a door number B? Honestly, not the same route, but mine was to, like, don't, if

somewhere makes you unhappy living there, don't make yourself struggle when you don't have to. Life is hard enough. Like, if you, if you need to move, move, I think people also have it in their head, the idea that you're aggressing. Like, if you've left house shares and you've moved in with a partner and I go by yourself, if you do something different, then it's like, you're going back it's like you're not like go back to how should go go live with a friend go be close to them however i will say this as someone who is moving in somewhere and like you might be in one of situations where it's like a fixed mortgage thing where like i think where i'm moving into i can't actually go for like five years oh god five yeah yeah it was the only way i could like get a mortgage

it's intense she could rent it out though so yeah with a broken toilet but but i will say this if from friends who have lived and I've lived in shitholes before you're supposed to do senses that you can change very quickly first so like you've got like your side sounds so like bring in something soft get one nice

candle like pick one it doesn't have to you have to paint the whole thing do you know what I mean like get one piece of art you like or just like a bit of colour that you like and just do that so just there's one nice thing at a time because like if you're tackling

like a big DIY project that's so, so much. Like, whereas... I'm not mad. This is good advice. That was better. That was kinder advice. Shall I do mine again? I feel horrible now. Can I ever go? Can I ever go? Can I just say one thing? Facebook marketplace.

Get on it. Free. Free. And free cycle. No, Chris Cantrell just got scammed on that. He's an idiot. Generally... Generally speaking. you've bought your own place we are absolutely bombarded with I think Instagram and constant messaging that your house as a renovation

will be done quickly and that everything must be perfect at all times it won't be on the other hand you have achieved a massive life goal that lots of people would like to achieve so Fairfox hold that at the front of your mind when you look at your house

it is a massive achievement secondly I'm so sorry that you're far away from your friends it seems like you have loads of them and you should tell them that you feel lonely and isolated that you can go to them but they can also come to you and she said she feels embarrassed she does I have a thought on that

first of all your friends are not judging you most of them are probably like me going fucking hell she gets her own place she gets to do up they'll probably be envious also you can use your friends in a good way like you can be like hey gang my house makes me so depressed and I feel really isolated

is there any chance anyone would come over and help me paint a living room today have it be a social endeavour and then like I'll provide the pizza or whatever I think the other thing doing that as well I think I think the other thing to say is like and I will always return the favour

but also like one room at a time if it was overwhelming to me if I couldn't afford anything I would choose one room to make my safe space that I can go into that makes me feel happy and calm probably your bedroom it tends to be the cheapest least structural stuff it tends not to have plumbing

or living room yeah I would go with that I would not sell having just paid for things like stamp duty and solicitors I give very bad advice I would also, I forgot about stamp juicy

because it only, it really only comes in when you're a second time buyer. And if I make... I don't know what I did. You've been not from April, that's not necessarily true. Oh, okay, so as of right now. How many rooms has it got, I feel?

I wish you could respond because you could get a housemate as well. Yes, you get a housemate. A great idea. The other thing to say is invest in your community. Who are your local businesses? She's going to go and met the club. Jesus Christ.

But that's for people who are always... Now you're there. She's already moved out, according to you. I'm realizing my approach was a bit hasty. I went, you shit half, this is your. I earned my degree online at Arizona State University. I chose to get my degree at ASU because I knew that I'd get a quality education. They were recognized for excellence and that I would be prepared for the workforce upon graduating.

To be associated with ASU, both as a student and a student. an alum, it makes me extremely proud and having experienced the program, I know now that I'm set up for success. Learn more at asuonline.asu.org.org. I wonder. I still think move closer to your friends though. I think that's always the answer. I just think this is a lesson for you. Next time, don't make decisions without thinking about the genuine day to day that you'll experience. I'll just have to say, I think that's fair, but she is in. They are in the situation.

And I feel like also in London, more than a walking distance is going to be the standard because you probably, like, not all of us going to afford to live where our friends live. Now, you might want to make a trade off of space versus living near your friends. Get on the line bikes. Yes, get on the line bikes. Only if you have a helmet. Oh, yeah, I do agree with that. That's some solid advice.

But to me, it most of all just sounds like the thing you're missing most, beyond everything, is friendship. and I think that's the most solvable one because that's hey friends I'm actually being lonely and isolated and who what's happening in your community do you have a local pub quiz do you have a local club do you have a team any kind of team gives you a bunch of friends

alone that I've done it it's very sad that is tragic but invite your friends to your local pub quiz join a sports team in your area that's like 200 people Oh my god F buy a Yankee candle that'd be so much easier than join here one team Is there a resident association?

Buy a Yankee candle a move I think she's got a book club so she's doing that instead of a I would never go to a sports club to meet people if I wouldn't go to a sports club full stop but don't go to your local pub what's your local thing like find a residence association find a volunteer group in your area where you'll make friends from your area can I add as well that if you've just if you broke up and then moved into your own place and threw yourself into book clubs and stuff that maybe you haven't given yourself enough time to grieve the relationship as well that might be another

element that's maybe holding your emotions back that you've just sort of like thrown yourself in because buying a house is such an intense process that you might not have given yourself space and the idea of being alone is quite terrifying yeah i've actually just come out of an eight year relationship and i bought a house and i moved in and that was quite well it was quite scary yeah it was quite i was going to do a podcast called the art of being alone and it was going to be about my self-discovery of being alone then i shacked up with this chef haven't i so it lasted all of two weeks and i was like oh no i have to get in touch with them and say i can't do it because I've not I've

I've started I've got I've taken in a lover I'm taking in a lover I would say you could take in a high place taking a lover I tell you what you need to do at here we go start again we're starting again get on field put DTF

you'll be Take your coil out before the first day you'll regret it if you don't You'll be inundated to the point where you'll be relieved when they go You'll be relieved when it's just you and your broken toilet And do you know what else? How broken is this toilet?

Please, right back in, I am curious. I would also say that when I came out of a five-year relationship, I tried to keep as busy as I could for ages, and it really helped because eventually I got so tired of my friends and being busy that when I would go home to my house, I'd be like, thank fuck I'm finally alone. Similarly, I think do things in your house that you would only do because you live alone.

Like, genuinely paint your kitchen, whatever colour you fucking want. Not the sensible colour. Do whatever the fuck you want. Like, play your music as light as you want. Never wear clothes if you don't want to. Do the things that you can. can't only do because you don't have housemates.

Yeah, you don't have to justify yourself. Don't have to do it. I think, do the things that you wouldn't do if you had housemates, that and revel in that if you can. Buy a rug. For the kettle to boil and like try and beat it. That's interesting.

Really thought we were all just going to roll with that. It was just great. And the atmosphere went. It fucking went. You said he's so confidently. And afterwards you went, as if we'd all go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that one. We all do, we've all done it, sure.

Yeah. From the two girls, the coils go so far in the, we had to get a picked out. Now we're judging me. Well, fucking state of use. That should make you just self-reflection. What would you say, Andrew? Any other thoughts?

You could sort of maybe try and tempt your friends to move near you, just send them like right move links of like that's fun. That's a bit of fun. Yeah, make it the new area to be, the hotspot. Yeah. I've tried that. I didn't work.

I tried to get people to press which outside Manchester didn't work. Press switch. Press which is the suburb in Manchester. Yeah, that's never going to happen, is it? I've been trying for years to get Bobby and Harriet

and loads of people. Then eventually I just came back down, didn't I? Yeah. Yeah, that's glad to have you. Yeah, thrilled you back then. Thrilled your back. Now that's never going to work. Like I kept being like, hey, you know, it's great up here, isn't it?

And then, you know, they'd come out and I'd have, like, all these teapots and I'd be getting them out for, like, special occasions, teapots. and they were like you're living like pensioners you too I think you need to come back to London yeah that's for the best wait wait

you genuinely thought people would like uproot their entire lives because have you seen how good the teapots are well they don't have teapots in London Helen come on be reasonable I just thought they'd appreciate the space I was like look at all the space yeah but space isn't nice if you've got no one to fill it with I know if you're alone yeah

it's not good as it impressed switch in press switch alone no I think the time we leave it there. Wait, Sophie. Willan, where can people find you? Me? Yeah. If you want them to. Oh, right, okay. Instagram, I suppose. I'm on that. Field, obviously, DTO. Not anymore. I'm off at. I'm off it.

No, I'm off it. No, that's it. Yeah. Instagram, really. And they can watch your show on BBC. I play now, series one and two. Fabulous. And what does they be keeping their eyes peeled for? We've been doing it. We do any live again? I'm actually thinking about going back to it, yeah. Join us. I'd love to see it. Yeah, I think I'm going to do it.

Yeah. But we'll see. Nothing planned. So, stuff. Stuff. Wow. I'm excited. Andrew, you're checking your watch.

Sorry. Yes, time. Oh, poor, Andrew. Is it time? 55 minutes. Well, on that note, Sophie Will and everybody! Thank you so much to our executive producers. Look at you there in your lounge.

Guy Goodman, Simon Moore, Annie Tonner, Stephanie Capracha, Oliver Jago Anthony Conway Neil Redmond Sadie Cashmore and oh ding ding what's this

a new member of the club Angela F thank you for joining us Angela F Let's get that gender parity Is Angela Scanlon

No I didn't say that And welcome to the club No you guessed that We said highly unlikely Oh my gosh Thanks for joining guys And to our amazing producers

Who also have a lounge I like to think. It's L. It's Richard Bold. It's Harold Van Dyke. It's Tim and Domus. David Walker. It's Rachel R. It's Claire Owen Jones.

Sing it with me. Sarah and Molly. Ria Fin. Cordelia. Rachel Page. Helen A. Tina, Lindsay. Amy O'Reardon.

Abby Woff. Matt Sims. Luke Bright. Leah. Kate. Liz, Fort. Tass. Anthony.

Chloe. Becky Fox. Dean Michael. Sophie Chivers. Never figured it out. Carrie Seuth. Never figured it out. Charlie A.

K.C. Jam Rain Bird. Brin, which always makes me think of the girl from the later seasons of dance months. Ezra Periguin, Laura Pollock, Leah Overend, Stephen Chicken, always a bit of fun.

Dougie Robertson, Hayley singer, Sarah Deakin, Tamson Smith, Harding. Did you put those in a different order to usual? Yeah. That is very good. You really kept me on my toes there. It's even funnier because you were like singing with me and I was like, couldn't if I tried.

Yeah, don't even know the lyrics. Couldn't you if I tried. It's a new song. Thank you for being a patron. Thank you for arguably knowing way too much about us. Whoop, who. Oh.