Trusty Hogs - Ep182. DRUNK HOGS / Belly Buttons, Bubble Writing & Booze

Episode Date: April 18, 2025

It's the clash of the podcast titans, as Taylor and Hannah from Drunk Women Solving Crime and Helen and Catherine - otherwise known as the Trusty Hogs - join forces to mash up their two epic formats while bring us all the chat you'll ever need (or want) about belly button health, before 'solving' a scam based true crime case, in which we find out if owning a cat is the best deterrent for this kind of criminal activity. The team then goes on to give some sage advice to someone in need of relationship guidance. Is bubble writing the answer for all your woes? Have a listen to find out... what's the worst that can happen, apart from the inevitable craving for a fish finger sandwich by the end. FOLLOW TAYLOR & HANNAH: @DrunkWomenSolvingCrimeThank you so much for listening!Support us at www.patreon.com/TrustyHogs for exclusive bonus content, merch, and more!Trust us with your own problems and questions... [e-mail] give us a follow @TrustyHogs on all socialsBe sure to subscribe and rate us (unless you don’t like these little piggies - 5 Stars only!)All links: https://audioalways.lnk.to/trustyhogsSNThank you to our Patreon supporters...EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Guy Goodman / Simon Moores / Stefanie Catracchia / Oliver Jago / Anthony Conway / Neil Redmond / Angela S / Sadie Cashmore / Sarah DeakinPRODUCERS: Elle / Richard Bald / Harald van Dijk / Tim & Dom / David Walker / Rachel R / Claire Owen-Jones / Sarah & Molly / Raia Fink / Cordelia / Rachel Page / Helen A / Tina Linsey / Amy O'Riordan / Abbie Worf / Matt Sims / Luke Bright / Leah / Kate / Liz Fort / Taz / Anthony / Klo / Becky Fox / Dean Michael / Sophie Chivers / Carey Seuthe / Charley A / KC / Jam Rainbird / Tamsyne Smith-Harding / Ezra Peregrine / Bryn / Laura Pollock / Leah Overend / Steven Chicken / Hayley Singer / Dougie Robertson / Charlie WeemesWith Helen Bauer (Daddy Look at Me, Live at the Apollo) & Catherine Bohart (Roast Battle, Mock the Week, 8 Out of 10 Cats)FOLLOW HELEN, CATHERINE & ANDREW...@HelenBaBauer@CatherineBohart@StandUpAndrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Drunk Women Solve and Pride. Through the fog, step forth the trusty hogs, yeah, you're going to give them your problems and they will solve. Welcome to run Drunk women's Songwarn Trust the trusty hogs Or maybe not Welcome to Drunk Hogs

Podcast Mashedup The podcast Meshap The Podcast Meshap Guys for which the world has yearned What? I love it Did you know we were calling it drunk hogs? I felt like that came from you

Yes, yeah, no, we did We did. What was the voice? That's why I went to talk about. Drunk hogs. I don't, I totally understand the inclination. Oh, I can't not drunk hogs. Try to say drunk hogs in a normal accent. It sounds like cleats in the sickle, drunk hogs.

Okay, fine, you know what I apologize. I mean, it sounds great. Sounds like what we're about. Exactly. Well, so listen, I'm Taylor Glenn and with Hannah George. We are a true crime comedy podcast, drunk women solving crime. And with us today, oh my God, it's the fantastic trustee hogs. Please welcome comedians Helen Bauer and Catherine Bauer.

Yay! Yay! Don't be clapping too much, Helen, because well, well, well, how the other half live. Oh, I knew this is going to happen. You've got a beautiful coasters, they've got muffs with their names on, in the same studio as us. Jonah reminds me of when my mother used to get her nose in the neighbour's house and they'd have an extension. And she'd go home to my dad and be like, wait till you see, wait, you see what we could have. Oh my God, what the house could be.

And I feel like that today, I feel like I've seen the extension. seen the extension. I know what the house could look like now and I feel horrified. Catherine, we have coasters. But they don't have they don't trust your hogs on them. Well, they do. They were made by listeners. They're serrat. Yeah, but they're not. Yeah. But they're not jobs. Okay, yeah. I know. We pay for these ourselves. I think it might just be the muff. But this has their faces on. But muffs are the most important thing to me. You know I'm gay. Are you not listening?

Come on. Would you like a muff with your name on it? I freaking love a muff with my name on it. And I'd like one from my microphone, am I right? I'm so sorry I am sorry so we've had both of you guys on the podcast but I was realizing it was both weird

lockdown situations because you did a remote recording when it was like the deep dark days and I was living alone getting drunk so I'm sure I sounded totally normal

you were in a bad way that year you were mad not my finest hour no not good thrilled to be here and well thank you for having me back oh good we felt

we had to. Yeah, I'm kind of you to let me do that again, yeah. It's sort of the like, she's okay now episode. She made it, man. It's good. She's all right.

She came out the other side. And then you did a live show, but we weren't allowed to have an audience. I was at the Clapham Grand with you guys on stage to no one. To no one. We played to no one. And the biggest remember what? It was weird.

We fucking smashed it, didn't we? We don't remember. We don't know, do we? We don't know, do we drinking? Yeah, but like, yeah. Yeah. I feel like we may have doubled down on it for the sake of there being the audience.

And then like I started like hearing laughter. And you were like, no, no, no, no. And I was like, no, people are loving it. And they weren't. And then, yeah, that was it. It was amazing. I have also done one in Edinburgh. Oh my God, of course.

Yeah, I've done it live with people. Which is pretty exciting. I have. That was a real thrill. How was it? Yeah, huge. Huge. It really makes sense of the seats.

Yeah. You know what I mean? You think, oh, that's what else are. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not for him. Yeah. It feels better when there's a body on them.

That looks good. A body. Are there bodies? I know, yeah, just in the context of... Bodies on seats. Are you embarrassed about your body, Helen? Well, yeah, obviously. You should be.

I say every woman should be. And that for everyone listening as well. It's be ashamed. A hundred percent. They're disgusting. Yeah, it's... Fucking rotten down there. And if you think you've got a nice body,

put your finger on your belly button and smell that because that's fucking rough. I'll say it. It is bad down there. Don't do it right now because it's really bad. Do you know what? Go on. I would never just share this out of nowhere, except I've been listening to you guys.

Just clean your belly button. You talk about it all. You talk about it all. I love it. You have no filter, and it's beautiful. So I used to have a navel piercing. Nice. Okay, right.

To such different way. Yeah. Okay. Mm. It's been out for like 12 years. Thank God. But it was so... I think they're cool.

Oh, I'd probably. put it back in if I could, but it's an old, sad little tunnel. But listen, it got sore the other day, so I squeezed it. No, that's disgusting. And I found out that you're supposed to do that, like, once a year to clean it out. What came out? Take your time. I would never talk about this, but I'm like, Helen, this is a Helen story. I hate this.

It was dry, it was like dry, a dry worm. Oh, yeah. Like crust? I can't believe this is how he's. Stop it. Stop it. I hate you. Next time. Picture for Helen. You're ruining the lovely extension. Jesus. Oh my God, they have us around on their new furniture.

No, but truly what I'll say is this. Just wash your belly buttons. I do. No, not enough if that's the issue you're having. Old piercings are weird though. Like, they just sit there and I have a lot of piercings. Mine are all clean. But they're still, but they're still going. Like, if you take them out, I didn't know that that was a thing that you had to like. I have old, I have old nipple piercings and they're fine. Okay.

Maybe I'm just a filthy... I think you might... Have you considered that you might be a rat bag? Do you know, my belly button smell fine, just to feed back, guys. Did you just do it just now? I just did it, and I sort of took myself away, had a little sniff. That's the beauty of Dungarees. You can just get right in there.

You can just get right in. I mean, you can do that with a t-shirt. Yeah, I'm not sure. I could get in there, like, no worries. Do you know what it's because normally I look like wear jumpsuits or dresses, so I forgot that there were other clothes? You can get access. There's no point of access on a jumps.

For me, the worst smell that comes from me. Go on. I've used... No, I hate this. Ass, ass, ass. Is it ass? Helen, it's ass. You can't blame over all of this.

Yeah, because you can. Think about how that sentence started. No question. For me. Thank you, Catherine. That was really... You know what? Did someone say belly button?

My client rest. No, but go on. Tell us you disgusting stories. Somebody says something horrible. No, it's just like if I use a dental floss between my teeth, the back teeth, pull it out, sniff it. Why would you sniff it? Disgusting.

I don't know. Because you were dogs, but curious. We're not dog. We are. Well, humans come from dogs. And monkeys, but also dogs, you know. We haven't proven that yet. That's why we like dogs.

Also, sorry, what dog flosses and then smells it? What are you talking about? Us. No, stop it. I'm the dog in this. Yeah. Yeah, it smells. Maybe it's funny going on a male podcast.

What's happening? This is horrid. But when men do it on their podcast and discuss these smells, it's just because they're like, grim and like when we do it is kind of feminism because we're sort of being like it's okay that you don't smell like flowers and talcum powder it's okay that you

are a bit of a minger no it's not you need to wash and you need to floss more often if I may you're going to want to flop it does it doesn't it doesn't because I need to hear it yeah thank you no thank you you're welcome thank you I'm going to look after so you've already solved two problems she's going to look after her teeth better

I'm going to look after my belly butter please your belly butter Well, it sounds like a sort of belly butter, yeah. It does, actually, yeah. I've got a video of a spot I pecked to my ear. I'll send you're going to lose your mind. You'll love it. I'm excited.

Something you do on the train to home. So what we're going to do? Books. Just read a book. She doesn't get it. She doesn't get it. Read a book. We're going to do a little crime.

We're going to do a little crime section. We're so excited. Because we solve crime, you solve problems, we're going to do all of that today. But in the crime, I wanted something that related because I thought we're really all kind of heroes, sure. But also, like agony ants, right? Which is a very British term. I had to learn that when I made it over here. It's the first thing I learned.

Biscuit and then agony, yeah. Is it on the citizenship test? It is. Yeah, that makes it. I'm not a citizen. I don't want to take the test. It's so hard. It's old shooters.

Why? So scary. It is all about. Because my brother took it. He lives over here. He's more motivated than I am. And he was just like, fucking tutors. But I could take you to Hampton Court Palace for the day

and you'll learn so much and you'll love it. Okay. It's amazing. It is a good day out. It's a really good day out. I've been. I've been. My parents have been twice and I've never been.

Isn't that crazy? I think it's crazy that we say it's in London. Please go on with your crime. We're so excited. It's within the oyster zone. It's within the oyster zone. It is. Don't do that.

Don't do that. Sorry. It's a tired tourist 13 years in. like, I'm not going that bar. Yeah, she was really moody at the Shrek Adventure. It's true. I thought it was a bad time. Go on.

Sorry, go on. No, no, not at all. So I've got the details of a case. I'll be asking you questions. We'll see. But the first question is this. It's just a little fun fact. Do you guys know when the first agony aunt column was printed?

What would you guess? Whoa. Helen is straight up with a hand. 1486. Wow. Okay. Just a guess, but it feels good. I'd have gone.

closer to like 1920s. Okay. Is that maybe before the printing press? Did you say it was printed? I don't want to be a twat. I didn't hear the word printed. Did I? Yes, I did. Did I? Yes, I did.

Yes, I did. Well, define printing, you know? Put in sign on paper. I'd like to say 19, 1892 then. 1892, 1920s. I'm going to go 14. Oh, you know. 75.

Nice. Well, first of all... When was the printing press? I don't know, actually. You made such a big call, like you knew when it was. I did it. It was only because I watched inside the factory the other day when they were binding books.

You still watching Greg Wallace stuff? No, no, it's Penny McGuinness now. Well, then you're off the hook. Well, then let's hear about the way the printing press on. Well, then this crime isn't a crime anymore. You can take that off the donkey. This is going to be a long episode, y'all. Amanda's looking at printing press.

14. 14. Then her guest done. I'm so sorry, Helen. I was deliberately being a trap man. You were being a real bitch. That was bitchy. Your first guest was the closest. No, sorry.

I fucking hate women, sorry. No, that's fair. That's fair. And that's why we've mashed up our podcast. It's just to ask each other. Stir up a hatred of women. Yeah. That's what we're aiming for.

1691. Shut the fuck up. I am fast. That's not close. It's the close to it. It was closer than 1900. don't put your finger at me you fucking slap

sorry no it's true I think she just had a baby yeah that got really fucking violent I did it once and hated it how was it though

are you sure you did it right like do you know that like did it like did you feel it and I mean it like hey go sex I'm just editing I'm just editing as I go yeah yeah

yeah no surprise was actually an agony uncle. It was a man at first. It was a 32-year-old printer and bookseller called John Danton, and he was having an affair, and he realized that there was nobody he could talk to for advice without revealing his identity. So he launched a newspaper for the sole purpose of asking for people's dilemmas

and giving advice. Did he write into himself? How does that help? I don't know. I don't know how he got help with the affair. I don't know what help be needed with the affair either. No, he just wanted to tell someone. Yeah.

Yeah, you just wanted to brag. Well, no, because if you just wanted to tell somebody to tell somebody who wouldn't judge him. Oh, yes. That was a man looking for it. Maybe he opened with that and wrote in anonymously and then said, like, I say, keep going. Yeah, exactly.

This is a great thing. You deserve it. You deserve two vaginas. Yeah. Maybe he does. We don't know that. It would be really swell. Might have been a lot of them to go around.

Maybe. By the 1740s, women were getting in on it. And that's when the ag... On affairs or on advice. Yeah. Giving advice. Yep. And some of them were surprisingly saucy before Victorian times, and then things got really

buttoned up. For instance, one of them advised a lonely woman who wrote in fearing that she was going to spend her life alone into old age. What advice do you suppose she gave to that woman in the column? Broomstick handle. Oh. We've got broomstick handle. Seriously?

more like table corner i don't know yeah table corner is what i always go for because it's just straight on the clit i think penitative is always like less pleasurable yeah especially with what i said oh my gosh that was that was genuinely my first awareness of that part of my body i'm such a prude i'm like that part of my body your clits yeah yeah because i was it we just don't talk this you and every other teenage girl bumped into something i didn't realize that was such a universal thing though but it was because i was in like the the nerdy class in school but they didn't have any fun for us so it was actually a closet it was a large closet like a supply closet but it was not meant for children to be in their learning but they but they didn't think to get like a small

table so it was like a regular size table and a tiny tiny little supply closet so I think we're all getting off of it like you find excuses like I need to go shrub in my palms so wow so you're going broom handle I'll go table corner table corner what else could she rub against herself. Well, I mean, they could also have recommended that she, like, take a younger lover or, like, or, like, meet a woman in a riding jacket or something,

I don't know, like. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, or just kill herself. You're going to go. That's what I was thinking as well. Maybe she hasn't got husband, guys. The clue was saucy, though. It was saucy.

Oh, wait, well, because it's silly. I will just tell you, she told her to go down to the docks and hook a sex-starved sailor. Oh, lovely. Hell yes. Get yourself some semen. Yeah.

There we go. There she is. There she is. What could go wrong with that plan. Okay. So that brings us to our crime and it involves somebody. This is a modern crime because sometimes we go way back in time. Modern crime.

Her name is Charlotte Cowles and she is a professional advice giver. She's an advice columnist. So your question is, what do you think she gives advice on? What, arrogant? No. Modern time. Modern time. Right now.

She gives advice on. Sex. Okay. Yeah, I'll go like sex and relationships. Okay. I think like husbandry, like animal husbandry. Animal husbandry. Do you know what I mean?

You guys have gone for sex. No, that's fun. I love that. A bit of a play on work. I don't know. Husbandry is. It's like the... Wait, isn't it mating animals?

Like breeding animals when they're going extinct. Is it not the sort of helping it be born? Is that not husbandry? No. Just keeping animals. Just keeping animals. And that's how... Whatever that is, I want no part of.

That animal will never leave you if you do that. When you do that motion, Hannah, just for the listener at home, when you put one hand through another hand up to the elbow, what animal in your head are you entering? That's a cow, right? That feels. See, that's the thing, because I think a cow would do this, don't you? It makes puppets, doesn't it?

You make you puppets? And that's what it is. Okay. I was thinking cow. Cow, good stuff. Thank you so much. I'm so sorry I talked about my navel. I can't believe I just.

I didn't even, are you holding on to that? You've got to let it go. I just haven't shared it with anybody yet, and I, like, needed to tell somebody that this happened. Now, you've told all of us. Now, I've told everyone. And I hated it. Go on.

I know. And I forgive you. I liked it. I know. I don't know. I'm indifferent if it helps. It's cool. She is a financial advisor.

Women can do that. They can. Wait, what's your name again? Charlotte Cowles. And she writes for the New York Magazine, so she's an American. Okay. But just a couple years back, guys, Charlotte. was the victim of a crime.

Oh, no. And that's what we're going to talk about today. So one day, Charlotte receives a pretty unconvincing phone call from somebody who says there's been some unusual transactions on your account. Your next question is, where did they call her, where did they call her say that they were calling from? Where did the caller say? Yes.

Is that the accent? No, it's not. It's not at all. I mean, it gets from her bank. Okay. I suppose. Okay. Or did they say they were calling from like the White House?

And like sometimes people are like, I am that important. Okay. So that's what that was. I, uh, an old folks home based on the voice you were doing? No, that was Italian. That's just Taylor's voice. Oh, shit. No.

What was that? I mask the rest of the time. It's exhausting. Uh, they said that they were calling from Amazon. Oh. They said there's some really weird charges on your Amazon. account, but they didn't do a good job at it, so she went, oh, this must be a scam. Sure enough, she checks her Amazon account. There's no strange transactions, but then a few days

later, Charlotte gets another call. Now, this time, it was somebody who seemed very legit, very official. Was it a man? It was a man. And that's the answer. Yes, right. Right. They said you've been the victim of extensive identity theft. And the call that you received a couple days ago was part of that scam. Oh, my God. But we've got terrible news. They have stolen your identity. They're, like, poised to steal all of your money,

so we need to act quickly. Where did this person claim to be calling from? The Bank of America. The Bank of America. No. Oh, I believe it is a thing, isn't it? The Bank of America, that's the thing. Yeah, that's a thing.

Because they're not very creative over there, so they just go Bank of America. We call our cheese, American cheese. Yeah, exactly. But you do that with a lot of things. It's so weird. White House. Social security?

Social security. Okay. Good. Maybe. Good, good. FBI. Ooh. You're closer. CIA. So competitive.

We're at pub quiz level. Let's go. CIA. Oh, my. You guys. We're both type pays a lot. Yeah. That's amazing.

See hi. Indeed, they said we are the CIA. Are you turned on a bit? Like, I'm not right at the same time. Absolutely. Also, Jonah made me think of, have you watched that Gabby, um, Petito, um, documentary on Netflix? No.

No one's watched it yet. Oh, the girl and the camper van with the guy? No, but heard a podcast about it. It's excellent. I would recommend it and also, and this isn't why you should watch

the story of a victim be brought to life in a very beautiful way, but also sidebar, they feature an FBI agent who is so hot and they've given her a fake name and it's like Loretta Bush,

which is so funny. She's like, it's so funny. And you Google's basically like, listen, you fucking lesbians. You can't find because it's obviously a fake name because she's in the FBI. Can you all just watch the fucking documentary

for what it's supposed to be, you horny, horny, horned. Oh my God, they know the exact minute that you're in. Pause, okay, because we have to be like, sorry. I wouldn't love it if that was to Google respond. Oi, lesbian, stop it. Genuinely it is. That is literally the red it. I swear to God, it's just like, will you stop?

But anyway, that's what that reminded me of. CIA, here we are. I'm back with you. No, that was incredible. They freaked Charlotte out. This is a smart woman, right? But they were so convincing, and they freaked her out. A little bit about Charlotte.

She's a single mom. She had a young daughter at the time. They know everything about her. Her address, place of birth, social security number, her child's name and date of birth, just all this personal stuff. And they're conducting themselves in such a way, especially contrasted with that first call that was shitty.

Yeah. That she gets roped in, right? They continue to call her over the next. couple days and they're like, we need to act quickly. Charlotte, they're going to go after your savings. We know that you have significant life savings, don't you? She says yes, and they said they're going to get to it. The safest thing to do is what? Transfer it to this account. Transfer it to this account, yeah, to this cat. Transfer it to this cat. Oh my God, yeah, the safety cat. I got you. It's like a piggy bank, but it's for big girl savings. Shut the fuck up. Could you imagine how good

that would be? The CIA has a savings cat. Yeah, it's cool. No, go on. you can you can see that cat can't you like a bit obese like really nice big chin like a little top part that has a dollar sign on it like wow wow nothing nothing would surprise me okay so she does it question mark well what the question is what do they advise her to do with this money so transfer it to another account just spend all the just spend it just spend it just going to spree well they want to be able to access it so i assume they are saying to put it into a account like bonds like a safe account bonds that they can yeah yeah like a holding account kind of thing yeah very you guys are really good at this we're very small we've all been scammed several times yeah I have you no I have been telephone scammed once well you've shared that right yeah I know that I loved that story I'm never like a fucking nightmare and the reason I finally figured out

like an hour into this call that I was being scammed was he went Catherine is such a beautiful a name and I thought, I thought, no, it's not. Like, it's fine. It's pretty, but it is a classic. It's not an exceptionally beautiful name. And I thought, what a weird thing to say to me now. Did you lose anything? No, thankfully, but I did have to go to the Apple store and so I admit what had happened. And then a sort of 25 year old man just looked at me like, no, no, don't worry. It happens to other people. And I was like, are any of those people under 65? And I was like, I can't say that to you. And I was like, yeah, really amazing. embarrassing stuff.

Awful when you go into the Apple gene the eye bar and it's just like... They're not geniuses. No, but I was such a dumb fuck that they seemed like they were. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they're like, they're not like...

I know. I mean, they might know how to use an Apple product, but their social skills are fucking zero. I agree. I'm smart on that socially and that's what matters. Yeah. And she says that to them. She goes in there every day

just like, oh, hey fuck us. Yeah, my job doesn't call me a genius but at least I've got social smarts. Now how do I turn this on? Literally. All of us going in there being like, we've had birthday parties. But how do I lock into this?

Like, it's a friend to school. But is it like an on-off thing? And they are boys. Sorry, go on. Okay, so they tell her to do this. I've already blown on it several times. Well. Why is it worse because of the American accent?

You know one. I blew on it. I blew on it. I won't not work They told her to withdraw all of the money in cash as soon as possible because that would be the safest thing

They're like, don't transfer it They may ask for details like that Just get it out in cash So they can burgle her house Well, they took it a step further This is where it gets so silly What did they tell her to do with the cash? Oh no, like bury it in a desert or some shit, right?

No. it's got to be something like that put it in her car or somewhere they can access easily you're along the right lines with that actually a safety deposit box not a safety deposit box like a public transport like leave it on a train

what no that's not making sense why should leave it on a train leave like so they could be on the same carriage of the train so then as soon as she gets off leaving a bag there she wouldn't be like why would she think she was leaving on the train I don't know everyone was guessing Catherine I wanted to join I'm sorry sorry sorry

she wants to be part of it was it to meet SDII agent and give it to them well it's ridiculous it's not it's not any more ridiculous than that to be honest because at this point it is sorry no it's okay i'm having just one coffee in the morning and also we should really be honest about our dynamic even if it is on somebody else's podcast and that is it they need to know what to expect we are you're selling yourselves you don't want to sell a hundred percent and at least once in our podcast one of us will turn to the other and say Fuck you.

That's healthy. Thank you. I think it's healthy. That's why I told the belly button story was just to show our listeners how you each respond. Hannah's leaving. Your co-host just left.

Bye. We don't have a good enough, Anna. We don't. She needs water. Any water? Any more water for yourself? Hannah has to be nice to me because I'm so fragile.

Like I just can't. If she bantered that hurt with me, I'd be like, it would be the end of the podcast. I would just, I would follow up. I've been really I've really become robust at this stage I think that's so healthy we're getting stronger yeah you are getting stronger because we have lots of milk wait so where did she leave the money I'm desperate to know they told her to put it in a box seal that box and meet at a specific location oh no we don't know what the location is don't freak out it might be a beep where do they go it's just a car park no and she was told that there would be a certain make of car there and that she should put the money in the box. I'm devastated for her. I'm devastated for her. In the trunk of the car, the boot of the car. Oh, I'm so devastated for her. She, like, she's going to blame herself so bad when her kid doesn't have a college fund.

So, did I tell you the amount yet? No. It was $50,000. Oh, no. That's like two nights in an American hospital. She needs that. Oh, fuck, she needs that. She can only stay for one after the brain surgery. Does she do it? She does put the money in the box. She tapes it up.

It's a shoe box because what other kind of box is it going to do? It's funny. A point it hits you, surely, that this is mental. Also, isn't it mental that like $50,000, you just imagine that to be like a fucking safe full of? of money and then actually it's a shoebox size money do you know what I mean it sounds like so much I think when I moved to London I would have imagined it as a safe full and now I think of it as a sort of like like a tiny bit of sad like a like a sort of dust spec I feel like the

but it's because we don't see money anymore it's all just like numbers on your phone and an account like you don't but also everyone acts like if you're like oh we want to try to buy a flat we have 500 grand everyone like laughs in your face and you're like oh okay I guess half a million pounds means nothing here so no you're up but okay putting myself in the context of i've saved all this money up this is incredibly stressful you would expect it to be more of a shoe more than a shoebox you're right you would just you just you just you know just get it all right and once i would have done yeah just so i could kind of fur it around for a bit and then i pop it in you know what i mean just on a bed like a taxidami bear filled with cash sort of like a bit more intriguing to share about the

story so we don't know if she did like a scrooge mcduck and swim around it yeah maybe Before she lost it forever. Yeah. Shame. We don't know. Okay. Well, she does do it. Oh.

She drives there. And again, she's just, when she tells the story, she's like, I was out of my mind at this point. Like, I had no rationale. I was afraid to talk to anybody about it. I didn't trust anybody because they were so good at just planting that fear and knowing so much about her. And she was scared for her daughter. Yeah. Yeah.

And they said, trust us. This is how we catch. This is how we catch them. we've got to get that money in the hand and she's a you know you trust the authority right oh man the problem is how does she ever give financial advice again you've screwed your career after this i forgot she was oh sorry that's my worry it's like it's awful that's happened to her but it's particularly awful it's happened to her because it's like both bad that she loses their 50 grand and her reputation okay that's quite funny there isn't it yeah obviously no it is funny but like go on

okay but we're not we're not we're not we're not sorry we're laughing we'll do that later okay Once the tension's relief, we all go off. Well, so she gets the car park, she gets it out, there's the car that they described, the boot is open, she puts it in, she shuts it, and she's expecting something else to happen after that, and the car she spares away. And that's the moment she went, fuck! It just hit her. She was like, oh, my God, I'm an idiot. I cannot believe I just did that. I just gave away all my money in a shoebox.

Whoa. I'm going to go write my financial column. you call the police immediately you've just put it in a car you've got the car's description she does yeah immediately oh god oh god I actually feel so sick

I know it's it's crazy the good news is you're in the UK and you cannot get out that amount of money also goodness is I have OCD you think I'm keeping a shoe box that's empty it's gone it's been flat packed recycled please there are no boxes available

I'd lend you a box if you were getting scams. But at some point I do think you'd be like, what for? And I'd be like, oh, I'm just going to give a random guy and a car park all my money. And you'd be like,

do you want to get copied? Let's go together. It's not safe to meet him alive. Your issue would be like, you're going on a date with a man. What do you want the box to look like? No, but go on, sorry. Well, no, I mean, that almost brings us to the end

because sadly there's not a great deal of justice in this case. She gave the numbers, the car had been stolen. They couldn't trace it that far. You know, it was like a rental car. They never found these people who did it. She didn't get her money back.

Oh, fuck. At least if they do it like online out of your account, often you can get the money back, right? There's some kind of... There's insurance for traceability and redactation. Yeah, like you withdraw it and cash. And that's exactly why they wanted to withdraw it in cash. Oh.

They knew, they knew what they were doing. They prayed. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. now a lot a lot hit her later and I think it's so brave that she went public with this

and she decided to because she knows how bad it sounds like I'm this financial columnist and I I can fall for this I can get suckered into it and actually after she shared it also the subject of fraud is not the person who should be blaming themselves for a fraud like it's no exactly it's crap okay it's very easy to be like oh why did I fall for this but like ultimately why on earth does someone do that to you like that's it should be the question that's awful absolutely and I think until you're there because I was picturing being on the phone and someone rattling off information about my daughter I'm like I'd be dead like I would probably do anything they asked as soon as you just pull at the right string yeah vulnerability like oh so anyway um

so phones that a lot of things hit her later and she felt very foolish something in particular really had her kicking herself why was it strange that these people claim to be CIA why doesn't that make sense besides the obvious that why is the CIA They don't do financial crime. Oh, is that... It's not their department. It's not their department. And anybody that watches TV

should actually know that. They deal with... Get her, killer. I'm joking. I was just trying on the sad. Do you have a television? Or do you have to sell it after you lost all your savings to do you fit?

Don't you watch series? No, that's very tough. They deal with international safeguarding issues, like high-level military stuff. So FBI would have been a more sense thing before they took a chance. And I said that first and I wanted to remember that.

We were thinking Federal Bureau, that makes more sense for a crime. I feel like I'd be less likely, for some reason, less likely to believe the FBI than CIA. Because of the female body inspector thing. I have the exact same thing. Exactly. When it was with the FBI, my first thought is lads in those t-shirts in Camden, female body inspector. It does feel like a more made-up agency than the CIA.

It does. It does. It's like a bit like, when someone says FBI, you do think like men in black. He's like, okay, sure. Yeah, sure, it's a real thing. It does feel very fake, actually. That's 100%. I wonder if I'd fall for CIA.

Because I wouldn't immediately go like, but you only deal with high level international security issues. Exactly. If the CIA say they're calling you and they sound jet, because they don't call anybody. So you'd be like, you really are calling me. Oh, my God. So, yeah, the scammers have never been caught,

but she's gone public with this. And it's actually brought a lot of other high-level entertainers in the U.S. coming out it's been the sort of like I was scam too so there's been all these articles of like yeah people that are no longer embarrassed to say I was a victim of this and this is what you should look out for

so it started a healthy conversation and Charlotte is still saving up her money now she'll be okay she does well she's alright she writes a call hopefully she can like that well story will help recoup some of the money that she lost do you know what I'm dead but maybe the CS selling it maybe a little bit

but yikes that's tough I will say that I Let's do a lot of scam pods That's a real genre of my of interest for me Oh, okay And I do think the power of the crime is the shame It's like The likelihood that you will report it is so small

That when you get into that situation You will be shamed by the police officers Or your like immediate family or whatever It's so helpful to the criminal So like we really shouldn't pile on that But at the same time It's hard not to be like You genuinely are like

okay, I see the 10 mile an hour sign in the car park. This is where I pull in and give away everything I've ever owned. It is stressful, but like, yeah, we just can't layer on the shame, but fuck, it gives me, that gives me hives because I'm like, imagine. Oh, I know, it's awful. And I can completely see myself falling for it. That's why I thought it was interesting because I was like, it does sound so stupid.

Yeah, because the alternative is you ignore it, it's legit, and then you lose all your money. That's what they're threatening you with. So it's like, we have to do something to do nothing. to... And who do you call in that situation? Exactly to say, is this a scam? Right.

FBI we now know. Yes. The real... The female body effect. Thank God. Thank God. She's a single mother. Can you imagine...

It's when I'm having to tell your husband now. What? I'm saying thank God she's a single mom. Can you imagine having to go home and explain that to your husband? And it's his money, might be a single mother. Fuckin hell. Jesus. Thank God you only have a daughter to answer.

Christ on a wife. Yikes. Fucking how. So, yeah. That's our crime. Bloody hell. Thank you for telling us that. We're in a really good space now.

Right. Yeah. Okay. We're on edge. It's funny because we're all so sure of what we would do in that situation or like how we feel about it. What about if I gave you a problem

from one of the hogs? Would we be so sure then? Shall we find out? I'm excited. Let's find out. Okay, here we go. Wait, I should preface for saying, like, sometimes, sometimes the problem is bigger than what we can solve. If you listen to Trustee Hoggs, you will know this.

So all we can do is do our best. Now, I feel confident that this is going to change someone's life. I can usually solve it in one sentence. Okay, that's very responsible that you even have a disclaimer. We're just like, we can solve any crime. The disclaimer is that your listeners want a free bottle of wine or a coaster and ours want, my will be honest cheap syrupy

and we do our best we do our best I love that you get follow-ups though like you get to hear how we get updates it's heaven on earth it's heaven on earth it's so good

well you say that we always get positive updates and I just can't fathom that everything we've ever recommended has been a good idea but maybe we just don't hear from the ones whose lives we're destroyed

I've never thought do you reckon Andrew our producer is like filtering them out the negative one plus and is oh my god he is 100% he's like wait we can't handle this

Yeah. Another problem solved. Well done, girlie. Yeah. Nothing's wrong with you. Thank you, Andrew. If you ever see on the news of people that have killed their entire family, that's something to do with you, I reckon. Seriously.

I knew it. I fucking knew that wasn't an intrusive thought. We were like, just go to the car park. It's fine. Dress up to see. CIA knows. CIA knows best. Oh my God, yes.

Genuinely. Make the noise. But wait, are you going to have to open the boot without a mouth? without a man. Anyway, I'd like to put a disclaimer on this, which is that I've not written this problem myself, I swear to you. Dear, trusty hogs, I'm a 35-year-old bisexual woman with a history of disastrous relationship. Here we go. I'm 36, but it's not from me. When I was 19, I entered into a toxic relationship with a controlling and possessive 40-year-old man and even moved to New Zealand for him. Too far, too big of an age gap. He was incredibly emotionally

manipulative and cheated on me multiple times during what ended up being a five-year-long relationship. Oh, that sucks a ass. I eventually left him and moved back to the UK after an incredibly explosive fight during which he was violent. Trigger warning, this is very intense. What's the initial? This is from, it's a great question.

Thank you for asking. Can I see the initial? W. This is from W. Hi, W. Can we edit out that bit where I mumble around and we say, this is from W. Hi, W.

Hi, W. Wow. So I didn't enter into another relationship until I was 30 with a friend I'd known since university. That makes total sense. A six-year break seems like you deserved your youth. That seems fair. We bought a flat together and we're even engaged for two months until I found out she had slept with her ex-girlfriend.

This relationship ended when I was 32. I absolutely love that even amidst all this tragedy, lesbians will lesbian. They got engaged and bought a flat in the space of two years. Messed dice, yes. Don't let anybody slow you down. They bloody love picking colors on the G-LULULUXCard. We love commitment.

Look at Zofia there in the corner. Just slowly nodding. Is that a fair on Bolton or we could have turned by being cute? Let's do this thing. Okay, I love it. I'm broken, but let's go plant shopping. Yes. Sure really we're a mess.

But we're a mess in a king size. Right. I spent a very long time after this thing. that there was something fundamentally wrong with me. Oh, no, no, no, no. That made my partners cheat. I truly believed that I was utterly unlovable and true love and happiness were not things I deserved.

I was also incredibly isolated during this period as me and my ex-fiancee shared the same friend group and it was incredibly painful to hang out with them. And everything that had happened was looming over our heads. However, I am very happy to say that I am now in a much better place. I bought a flat. Yes, that would be you. I'm now in therapy.

I've rebuilt old friendships and have let go of the ones that make me unhappy. I'm also really loving work at the moment. I'm a writer working for a London agency where I write true crime and murder mystery scripts, which are then...

Which are then sold to content creators for podcasts and YouTube channels. Send us the link, W. No way. We can pay someone to do the reset. I really love this and I'm really creatively fulfilled by it. The job is largely remote,

but I meet with other writers in London once a fortnight and this is where I met my boyfriend 36 I bet I bet you've met W and this boyfriend I'm obsessed with that I hope that's true I didn't even know that was a thing that you could get other people yeah WU can you contact narrative ones like people when people listen

yeah that's what I get yeah yeah but wow gorgeous hey you never know wow so are we all up to speed we know we're here we are present day oh please say something doesn't happen that's terrible Yeah, I know, but I think all that stuff about like being massively fulfilled, owning a flat-in therapy and having a gorgeous job is, we've got to take those as positives. Yeah, but something's about to happen. I've got a feeling. We became friends after collaborating on a project together and bonded over our twisted sense of humor and shared love of film.

Love it. He asked me out about a month ago, and it's going very well. I have never laughed more than I have in the past month with him and feel incredibly comfortable and respected in this relationship. Lush. My problem is that I'm unsure how to navigate. talking to him about my past relationships, something that both me and my therapist have agreed as necessary as I'm still impacted today

by the emotional and physical abuse of these relationships. We have had some conversations about past relationships and he knows about my ex-fiance, but I haven't spoken to him about the relationship I had when I was 19. Any advice you can give on this would be great. Thanks, W. Thank you, W. Wow.

Thank you, W. Good for you as well. Yeah, big all good for you. Also, like, I feel like it's so frustrating when we give advice to people that I think are more whole than us. Like, loving your job, like, you met someone who makes you laugh all the time. You have flatty. Like, you're doing, yeah, good for you. Killing it.

Yeah. Cushing it. If anything, like, it seems a little unfair that we should have. Why are you messaging us? No, no, no. I think, well, what do you guys think? I feel like, you know, you brought this up in what makes a scam work. And I think the same thing is happening here.

It's one of the most powerful emotions. It's shame. Yeah. I feel like she still hasn't let go of her personal sense of shame that somehow she was at fault that she's got this history. Yeah. And if she can work on that, and I hope her therapist sees that, otherwise get a better therapist. I think they will.

I think they will. You'll work on that. Because then when you're sharing it, it's about your vulnerability and how you're going to work together in the relationship rather than a confession. that I brought something awful upon myself I think that's so right you're not you're telling fact you're not relaying a confession

I think that's so right because how do I sort of like tell someone this thing as if it's your fault is the tenor of that you're dead right and that is shame and it's definitely not your fault you were 19 you were imagine if you saw a 19 year old

even someone to trip over on the tube you'd be like this baby angel no I don't know like I'm tripping over it's bit funny If you saw a 19 year old A little bit drunk on a tube And you saw men

40 year old men go near her You'd be in there like a fucking shot Yeah and I know exactly Yes I would be barking up a storm Always barked I hate it And so like I just think like You have to think of your 19 year old self

Like you would think of that kid on a tube And you know what else I think I love that you just know how to get the hypothetical right With her like okay Helen This then This thing Oh yeah yeah yeah

Nobody's falling Forget the balling you're laughing at them forget that but you know what else it is it's like I think why are you telling them is a really fundamental part and it seems like why you're telling your partner is because of what you of the success you want for your current relationship exactly yeah you're not like you don't mean like it's to help you yeah it's kind of like almost like to lay the pipe for I might react in a certain way to something you do that might be innocent it might be innocent but I have been cheated on yeah and I have been you know

there's domestic violence here like you know this has happened to me before and I always think that that's the thing about like because my thought on a lot of things is like well if you don't have

to tell someone something that you don't want to then just don't tell them you know we're all so British of you it really is isn't it repress repress repress yeah I'm like

that doesn't make any sense to me but okay you know what it makes sense to me yeah of course it does and I think we should allow space for that but I think this is a bad example of that

because I think that you know, because you almost want to, yeah, you want to lay the pipe for things that might happen in the future where it's a lot easier to sort of already have told someone about something that may make you react in a certain way, then sort of after a huge blow-up, say, well, I reacted like that because I've been cheated on before and because this has happened to me before. And then after that, I feel like you almost need a little bit of pre-empathy from someone, if you see what I mean. Oh, I totally do. I mean, I also think you're in a really bad position to explain devastating, vulnerable historical truths about yourself at the point of which you've just been. triggered by something. Yes, yeah, exactly. Exactly. It's not the right time to say, no, and it's not how to say it well. And also, like, that isn't to say that you're like able, you should justify bad

behavior because you've been, you know, like, you don't want to punish this man for crimes that are not his own. But you do want him to understand your perspective. And also, like, to understand, like, why trust might be slower to come for you. Why, like, it's so important in terms of your hierarchy of needs in a relationship, why it's, like, you know, or like, just also just, like, basic stuff, like, where the occasional, I think sometimes you're warning your partner not to laugh at certain jokes when the telly's on like just you know like so that if i'm feeling sensitive that day i don't want to kill you like yeah yeah yeah

you know you're warning them on lots of fronts yes but also like i think we're right with what we're saying in the beginning like this you're trying to de-stigmatize the shame of it so that you're able to be on it ask yourself why you're sharing it and i would say you're a writer write this down write what you need your partner to understand about used to be a therapist guys no big deal just busted it out like it's something I was yes for eight years that's so smart to have a therapist friend that you don't have to pay although weirdly I therapy to you more than you therapy she should invoice me it's amazing I'm always like thanks whoa oh my god I was like some advice that I thought was based in therapy now I don't want to do it oh no my god I'm so out of the loop

like... Okay. I thought of yours the old 90s therapy, speaking. Yeah. Lose weight. It's uncomfortable

people to see you in a big body. I was taught to like shame people with eating disorders. It was just just put on a chunky belt. Everything will feel better.

Yeah, nice. There's, um, it was in this self-compassion journal and it's like to de-stigmatize a shame. Like,

it was, I don't know if it worked. but I thought it was quite interesting. It's like, write it out, like, many different, like the negative thought, your negative thought or what you're, like, ashamed of. But, like, write it out in bubble writing, write it out in, like, pig Latin.

Write it out with your non-dominant hand. Just, like, see how stupid it is. Like, writing it down. Then your partner would have to find that and be like, something's gone right. Burn it immediately. Burn it immediately. Immediately burn the journal.

Obviously, you're already crazy. You're doing a self-compassion journal. obviously start fires and balconies like enjoy yourself I'm sorry but very traumatic stuff and bubble lettering is is hilarious it is but also like like it's weird when you're writing it out because you're like I can't remember what exactly happens in the brain but I know that when you write something down it's a different process than even speaking it and so it is I'm really good at bubble writing as well no no no they don't give you enough space in the journal you only get like

four lines. I just go on to another piece yes I do and I do like it comes over the top and it goes behind we should have a bubble laugh yeah we should W you are now invited to a bubble does that make you feel better well if you live in London W so do we let's make this happen

oh my god I feel like that's not good for you imagine that's how we dealt with every traumatic letter we got in was being like we can meet you on Wednesday for bubble writing in the only place that we go in London and the Burger King and Last the Squire.

Also, W, I do think, before you do all of this, before you write down what you want to say and tell him for all the right reasons and like trying not to punish yourself about shame and all of the rest, I reckon give yourself a huge well-bodied done because you actually did the hard part already which was like getting your self

at 24 out of that situation. Oh my God, yeah. Back over across the world. Yeah. Restarted your life twice and have found, have like centered your own joy in that new life. So this stuff's like,

you can do this stuff. This stuff's, but he's the face compared to everything you've done already. You know what you did there, Catherine? You watered W. W.W.'s

compassionate voice. What? I'm very into self-compassion journaling at the moment. Why are you touching me so much? You're so handsy when you're compassionate. Because I'm hugging all of us

right now. I'm hugging and holding up. Thank you. But you've just said to W what their compassionate voice should be saying to themselves. And by doing that, you've nurtured their

compassionate voice. and like a plant you've watered it. Yeah, I'm doing a bit too much therapy. No, well, well, well. I like it. Twice a week or something? No, down. Once a week.

I've gone down to one. I think that's right. I think that's right. I love it. Yeah, we're no longer a team. I love it. I think that's for the best. I think that's for the best.

I think there can be a real superstition in relationships, too, when you've had the bad, that you feel like if you, it's like a game of chess and if you make the wrong move, you're going to sabotage this. And there's this fear here for her that if she speaks up about it, she's going to ruin this. Yeah. Because she's only had bad stuff before.

So how do you hold on to something good? But you don't owe him this information. This is your choice to share it. Whereas I hear that when you say, like, you don't have to say it. Sometimes there's... And also, I think, thinking about when to say it as well, because when you're saying about, like, writing it down, that feels very formal.

I have a thing that I think when somebody sort of like says, can I talk to you? I fucking shit myself. I'm just like, are you fucking kidding you want to talk to me? What do you want to talk to me about? Or like if someone texts saying, can I call you? And I'm like, what the fuck has happened? And so I remember the other day, I went into the front. Do you think you might be in flight for a fight too much? I mean, I don't know, but maybe.

What the fuck do you really want to call me? Yeah, no, 100%. Just ought to be easier than... Yeah. It is scary. I do. I do, though. Literally, literally, if I always go straight to, if something is even slightly off, like, I went to the living room the other day, and I said to Toby, I said, Can you just pause the tell you for a second?

And he paused and he was like, what has happened? And I was like, oh no, I just wanted to know if you mind if I have the fish fingers. Like that's all I wanted. And I knew that he liked the show. So I wanted him to pause what he was watching. So he watched the show. But there was this weird thing. Oh no, I know.

Did you get the fish fin, finish the story? Of course it did. I had six. He didn't want any of them. Fucking birds eye, or own brand? Birds eye, actually. Things are going pretty well. In a sandwich or just as they are on a plate?

In a sandwich, sourdough, from the dusty knuckle. Were they butter butter? Bread crumbed or were they battered? Breadcrumbed, butter, ketchup. Awesome. But W, what I'm saying for your life. Wow, that was so many more follow-up questions than we had about any of the crime.

Yeah, it was a sandwich. It's a sandwich. Oh yeah, you've got to find out. Everything got the sandwich. Have you heard about the new fish finger sandwich from Mondo Sando in South London? No. Prepare to lose your fucking minds.

Go on. Okay. It's only, I can I, yeah. It's only, you're looking at me right now. Sorry, I was singing a song, um, an Irish song with the word Mando in it. Oh, that's, Don't mind me. In my head.

It's a sandwich shop. They used to do a collaboration with a pub called the Grove Tavern in Campbellwell. And they've got their own standalone place. It's two doors down from Toad Bakery. Do you know Toad? Amazing bakery. They supply the bread. Oh, yeah, I brought them in once. They were, it's incredible.

But they do this fish finger sandwich. It is insane. Like the layers of, it's like pillowy sourdough. So not that hard one. Proper. Oh my God. I'm literally dribbling. Proper chunky fish fingers, fresh tartar sauce.

I'll send you a link. Prepare to get on a bus. It's probably closed now because they just sell out immediately. I don't want to get deported, but I don't. I love that you tapped your phone. Like, I am ready. It might be like to the point being like, Hannah, should we just go now? Yeah.

Maybe maybe we should. Forget the kid. Let's go get fish fingers. I just don't like tarture sauce. What thing to say? Oh my God. What is that silence? What is that silence?

What is that silence? I don't know, but that just came out with it. We're talking about true crime and people's breakdowns. Why are you going to bring them into it? Can I tell you my best fish fingers, Sandridge story, please? Yeah, and then we'll all go around and say our favorite fish fingers. Okay, mine is this, Melbourne. It's an Asian shop that does just Sandwiches out the window.

Which one? Oh, actually, no, I tell you. It was Sydney. It was Sydney, I apologise. Because it was like a Katsu Sando show. Yes, we went there and then took it back to the pool. Oh, my God, so milk bread. They cut off the crust.

Oh, nice. They are doing Panko-coated fish fingers and a Katsu curry sauce. And it was fucking nerds. It was so crazy. And it's not as heavy as you're thinking. No, but you can still get in the pool immediately. I could have gone again. I don't know if I was after you, that's true,

but I could have had another sandwich. Yeah. Fuck, it was delightful. That sounds really good. And if you don't like tartar sauce, the fact that you can have Katsu. Oh, what? Delish.

I don't like tartar sauce. I really don't like it at all. But my God, I love curry sauce and efficient. I can understand that. There's a lot going on in there. There is quite a lot. There's texture. There's tang.

Yeah, I love it. But I can understand why you would. I just like wet in general, that's the thing. No, me too, but curry sauce and mushy peas are on my sides for fish and chips. See, I can't do those two together. I love it. Not curry and mushy. Yes, please.

I didn't know about fish finger sandwiches till I moved here. I've learned so much from you guys. Oh, my God, I thought you just found out now. I was about to lose it. But what's so great about them? Oh, I'm so sorry. I got really angry towards you. I saw the white rage cross your face and then it calmed down again, but it happened for all he's

upside. Okay, sorry. I learned that the first year I was here and I've had. At least several hundred a year since. Agamians and then fish fingers, they told her, don't worry. But what's so good about them as opposed to, like, the big fish, because that's the only kind is that you get so much more of the fried stuff. Yeah.

The surface area fried stuff. It's a beautiful thing. It really is. I don't like when they're too posh, though. I like sort of from the freezer. Sure, you're bug standard. I've been on to have a salad cream one. Mm-hmm.

No, I don't like salad cream. See, I'd be open to that. I haven't had it, but I'm open to it. I'm not shutting you down. It's not as good as a good tartar. sauce but I also will say this my um the what which fish fingers did you which words I have a very good um potato gluten free yes I do but they also have a good very good gluten free fish finger which when I can't eat gluten is like a savior like actually feels like a replacement of the same

thing you don't feel like you're being cheated yeah and I can to see the whole box stuff so good can you get sponsorship like after the fact I feel like we have this app coming out and you're going to push too many boxes I feel like the fish will be a no-go Captain the captain we have to ask the captain we have to ask the captain I would yeah yeah well we'll call the captain himself Can I ask a personal question?

Have either of you since recording in this studio gone to Johnny Schnitzel place? I haven't been yet and I'm sick of being told about it there's a Snitzel sandwich bar like not too far from here and it's like always on the top like 50 sandwiches in London list you're not on the top you don't read the top 50 sandwiches no no not when you think about like it's not top 50 sandwich places top 50 sandwiches it's different you're

yeah sandwiches so not like a place that has lots of different sandwiches like one of the places could have 10 sandwiches in it sandwiches sandwiches am i saying it wrong sandwiches well you're saying sam as in the guy sam sandwiches yeah sorry kathwin no no no no no and you must be sorry but i just clarifying But I, that's also just fun to say sandwiches. Sandwiches. Sandwiches. Is this the kind of the content you were expecting from her? No, but have you, you haven't been to where?

No. It's like a proper, like, freshly made snizzle, flattened, battered, fried, fresh lemon on top of it. Oh, homemade slore. You've not been, but you know at this level of kitchen. Yeah, I've watched a video. Anyone need any sandwich information. I'd love to step up and help out. But I like, I keep thinking about it.

I still haven't been. And my housemate is obsessed with. sandwiches. Can you go today? No, I've got a gig tonight. Yeah, that sounds like you wonder where you'd need to lie down after. It's a sleep one for me. You couldn't stay awake after that. No, I don't know. Could you get it? I'm so impressed by what you can have before

a show. Yeah, I have like steak, macaroni cheese and rice before. A whole pizza. She'll eat a whole pizza. I'll eat a whole pizza. I'll eat at whole before I go on stage. It's so sleepy. I, you know, I actually prefer to go on stage full. I know that makes me very rare, but I just, I just panic that I'm going to get hungry up there. Yes, and then you'll forget your words and you. you'll get fighting. Yeah, I think it really did.

You can really tell I come from a famine culture. I'm like, what will I do for the hour? And here comes up the famine. Here we go. Here we couldn't we could. I had two minutes to the end. Come away. Why can't you?

Sorry. We're sorry. Say sorry. Sorry. Sorry about it. I said sorry. Yeah, you don't have to be sorry. I don't think.

Good. Well, she could be a little bit. Here's my question. I feel like, well, a lot of y'all came to our place. Yeah. And we weren't as nice to you as we could have I'm sorry for that. Oh no, why?

Why don't know? No dogs, no blacks, no Irish. Oh, yeah, sorry. Sorry. Not a great time for us. Not a good time. And you made great police people. So we should have.

That's such an insult. Wait. But there were so many. That make us feel good at the end. My question is why can't you go to the schnitzel sanders place? Grab the sandwich. Bring it to your gig and eat it after. Come on.

Oh, you need it fresh. I'm not doing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want it hot. It's like freshly fried. I'd need to do it after. Next time we'll, record that next week, I need to go immediately eat it on the street like a wild dog.

So they not have a table? And then all good sandwich places don't have tables. It's one of those weird things. Apart from Mondo Sando. They do have tables. They do have tables. Okay. Okay. Outside though and do fill up very quickly. But, um, eat it outside like a wild dog. Immediately on bussy, straight into pajamas when I get home, but like not even moving like Wallace and Grummet putting on pajamas style, straight in bed, sleep it off. 20 hours later, roll out. well guys this has been drunk hogs can I just say that Amanda Amanda order blue at the end of your sense

just went oh it does sound amazing I'll also say it's nice to end a drunk podcast with a hangover cure right perfect lovely I love sandwiches

they're the best things ever yeah you guys have got it right in America thank you that's the only thing we we get right we agree sandwiches but you do a lot And, um... Nope, that's it.

Um, uh, beauty pageants, did we say that? No, those aren't good. No, I wouldn't say that. I like Broadway. I do that pretty well. Yeah. Oh, thanks guys. But a lot of other things very wrong over that.

Very bad. And with that, it has been such a pleasure. Yay!