Trusty Hogs - Ep185. Books, Beds & Beanie Babies

Episode Date: May 8, 2025

A long awaited and exciting update this week, featuring paint mixing, key calamities and family visits 🏡 PLUS, we give some fashion advice…NEW MERCH: www.trustyhogs.com/merchThank you so much for listening!Support us at www.patreon.com/TrustyHogs for exclusive bonus content, merch, and more!Trust us with your own problems and questions... [e-mail] give us a follow @TrustyHogs on all socialsBe sure to subscribe and rate us (unless you don’t like these little piggies - 5 Stars only!)All links: https://audioalways.lnk.to/trustyhogsSNThank you to our Patreon supporters...EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Guy Goodman / Simon Moores / Stefanie Catracchia / Oliver Jago / Anthony Conway / Neil Redmond / Angela S / Sadie Cashmore / Sarah Deakin / Amanda McCall / Charlie WeemesPRODUCERS: Elle / Richard Bald / Harald van Dijk / Tim & Dom / David Walker / Rachel R / Claire Owen-Jones / Sarah & Molly / Raia Fink / Cordelia / Rachel Page / Helen A / Tina Linsey / Amy O'Riordan / Abbie Worf / Matt Sims / Luke Bright / Leah / Kate / Liz Fort / Taz / Anthony / Klo / Becky Fox / Dean Michael / Sophie Chivers / Carey Seuthe / Charley A / KC / Jam Rainbird / Tamsyne Smith-Harding / Ezra Peregrine / Bryn / Laura Pollock / Leah Overend / Steven Chicken / Hayley Singer / Dougie RobertsonWith Helen Bauer (Daddy Look at Me, Live at the Apollo) & Catherine Bohart (Roast Battle, Mock the Week, 8 Out of 10 Cats)FOLLOW HELEN, CATHERINE & ANDREW...@HelenBaBauer@CatherineBohart@StandUpAndrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What's up? It's Helen Bauer from the podcast, Trustee Hoggs, and I will be going on tour with a stand-up show. You heard it here first, or maybe you heard us discussing it in the extras. Who knows? That's your business. I'll stay out of it. I'm hitting up the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. I'm hitting up Soho Theatre. I'm hitting up various places across the UK and Ireland. And I'd so love to see you there. Oh, tickets on my website. And it's called Bless Her. Fuck, Catherine. Hello and welcome to episode 185 of Trustee Hoggs.

Please go on YouTube and watch this. Catherine is wearing a mesh cardigan, which I can only describe is gorgeous and also Victorian horish. Oh my God, thank you so much. I can see through your top to your shoulders. I can see through yours to your bra. Oh shit. You're giving sort of hoey miss honey,

so we're really both doing it. I love this. Yeah, hoie miss honey is a vibe. Hi. Hi. It's a podcast. My name's Helen. She's Catherine.

Figure it out as we talk. Yeah, we'll answer some problems. Everything's okay. Don't stress. Through the fog. Step for the trusty hogs. Yeah, you're going to give them your problems and they will solve them. Or maybe they won't and that's your problem.

They'll have guests and Andrew White on the tech. Oh, it's Helen and Catherine as the trusty hogs. The trusty hogs or maybe not You've moved house We're going to get into it Let's go I am a first time Okay

First time buyer Flat in London Don't mind if we do First time buyer Long time liver 34 years old Two bed flat Right insane

Yes there is a balcony And it's got a little table and chairs on it And it does have They left that there Did they? Oh that's Thank you to them. I think I should just start at the beginning.

First question, have you changed the toilet seat? Don't do this. Don't do this. If we're doing this episode, I'm fucking leading it because you're going to say things like, have you done this, have you done that? And I haven't even thought about it.

Why would I need to change a toilet seat? No, I'm upset. I don't want to know. Write that down for me to think of later, please, Alex. Andrew's not here today. Neither is them. Alex is here again. Hi, Alex.

Remember Alex? Yeah, brilliant. Write that fucking down. I hate you. This is unlikable, Catherine. It's these things that are unlikable. sorry everyone why do I have to change a toilet seat

I don't know I have OCD I would just personally want a toilet seat that somebody else hadn't sat on for years Well I didn't have a stripe on it if that's what you mean at the back I know but you can't see all the I just perth that's just me In the same way that I'd like bleach the counters I'd bleach everything but I'd also change toilet seat I did do that okay let's go back

Yeah that's on me sorry that's just my own I have many of those don't worry about it I thought I was moving every week since the beginning of January You did we made it to the end of March but that's moving right I think that is buying a place

and you don't have to worry about that ever again and they never again I'm dying there genuinely genuinely they can take you out in a box no one can make you leave well done they can it's a leasehold right what does that mean

I don't know I never fully understood it that's only your business that's only your business a lot of the process being like I know okay yeah I'm sure with that we had our very first meeting We're way, way, way, way, at the very start of the process

but with a mortgage advisor and she said so many words, I had to Google after words. Vendor. I know, Trixie. LTV. Wait, what's LTV? Loan to value ratio. Nope, never had that before my life. It will affect your rates, your percentages.

Oh yeah, that's awful. Because it's like to pay, based on how much deposit you have to the amount you're borrowing. I did about... None of your business anymore. You don't have to care. You can say things like actually owning a home is also its own expense. Shut the fuck up!

It's actually its own stress. Shut up. Wait to be that person. I did about 500 emails back and forth being like, if my deposit is this and one pound, does that affect the mortgage? Yeah, that's the LTV. You'll be checking right. Yeah, totally, exactly.

Okay, so the day I'm supposed to be picking up the keys, the estate agent says, congratulations. We'll get them by midday, but we say two o'clock to be safe. And I'm like, I cannot believe this is happening. I need to be in Glasgow the day after. So I'm like, get me in. get me in, let me see what I need to do. Because I also, I've just spent all my money on something I saw once in September.

I know, it's crazy. And I haven't been back in it. I don't even remember what it looks like by this point. I have no memory. Yeah, it's wild. So I go and pick up the keys, obviously, don't, don't. And nervous at the same time. I pick Sarah Borellis Brave for my song to walk into the flat for the first time.

Which is, okay, don't laugh at me because that's actually adorable. Are we serious? because I wanted it to be a moment and as my friend France's sister Agnes says I was transcending the vibe yeah I was by myself I bought by myself I'm having I'm brave Oh no no I would have done the exact same thing

I'd want to go in by myself But I just mean it sounds like something You'd have someone film or something It's just so ridiculous No no no I do these things by myself To like have a moment Wow So I go and pick up the keys

So Neil's like Do not carry boxes down with you to take in I'm like you don't understand I have to So I go down on the bus With like a suitcase and a big box Of course you're going to What's he talking? cleaning stuff like bits and bombs that I want to like immediately I would do exactly

the same thing yeah and I wanted to take a kettle and some mugs with me yeah immediately um so I go down I pick up the keys I go in it's the two guys in the estate agents same as every estate agent in London they're about 14 years old one of them's hit puberty one of them's not wait they're there while you're playing Sarah Brett no no I my headphones are set up for that when I walk around because it's like around the corner from the estate agents the flat I go in there like, we did it. We thought it was never going to happen. I'm like, don't say that out loud. There's other people in here. You look bad at your jobs. We're having a laugh. They're like, give us a great rating. I'm like, I 100% will. This is amazing. I get my keys. I'm like, Sarah

Borellis is like, it's queued up, but I want to wait until I'm like walking up to the block, right? I press play. I'm walking up to block. I've got my keys on my hand and I'm like, oh, my God. A couple of intrusive thoughts about things like, oh, should I get home insurance now? Or do I weight and then it maybe burns down overnight, like little things like that, but I'm fine, I'm okay. I'm like, I'm allowing them in. Just checking in that you have home insurance now? No, it's part of the

service charge. Fine. Isn't that I'm saying? Because it's in a block. Thank God you found that out. Yeah. So the answer is yes, you do have house insurance. Yes, not contents, but just house. There's nothing in it right now. That's fine, no, no, but you have house insurance. So taking a long, a lot of this

is going to be quite hard for you to hear. Okay. So, and I get up to where and I get keys out and I'm like, where the fuck do I put the fob? What? There's a keys in my hand. There's like a white box. I'm like, that's the fob box. I'm like, beep, nothing. Beep, nothing. It's not even beeping.

And I'm like, oh my God. And I'm to the point where like, my song is about to end. No! I'm just like, waving this fob in the air. And I'm like, what the fuck is happening? So I video call Rose Johnson, who used to live in this block, right? They used to renting it way back when.

And I was like, why would you call her some of the estate agent? I don't always, Rose is more fun to talk to, I guess. Yeah, that's true, that's true. Called Rose and I was like, can you just, do you remember where you place the fob?

I cannot get in. Quick before Sarah finishes, yeah. And Sarah's over. Sarah's over. I'm making a call. I'm like, I'll play it again. I'll play it again. This will be funny.

This will be funny. Hit it, nothing. And she's like, no, it's there. And I'm like, let's not working. I call the estate agents. They went, oh, we might have given you the wrong keys. I went, you have got to be joking

because I've already, like, carried this all this stuff. the corner. They'll bring them right to you. So I'm like, oh my God, can get them like, he's just left. Oh no, he's gone for a meeting in Central. And I'm on the street and I'm like, okay, you need to like stand up for yourself here. And I was like, please, please, what can I do to get into this building? And they went, is it just the front door key? I went, yes. And they went, call all the neighbors buzzers. And I was like, is that a really weird first impression? They went, give it a go. And then I'm like, okay, Sarah Borella's fourth time. So then I get on to it.

and ringing the neighbor's buzzers. No one's in because it's like the middle of the day. And I'm like, for fuck sake. Also, they could hear you singing along to Brave dancers. They're like, I call Saneal. I'm in tears. And I'm like, oh my God, it's all gone wrong. I can't get in.

I've got all this stuff. I don't know what to do. And then luckily, a neighbor comes home. So I get into the building. But by this point, I've sort of just standing there. And Neil was like, just come home. Just come home. We'll figure it out later.

And my podcast had started playing that I've been listening to earlier in the day. which means I walked in following a neighbour listening to Michelle Dugger talk about IBLP Institute of Basic Life Principles which is basically a cult which I don't think is a good start. Did you go into the flat?

Yeah, I got the front door key worked my fob just didn't work but I thought it didn't work so I called back the estate agent and I was annoyed at this point and I was like, and the front door key doesn't work I'm missing one but it was actually the same

like I messed up there and then I couldn't and then I was like if I leave I might not ever be able to get back in again. That's definitely not how mortgages work. So then I called Rosen had a little cry called Francis had a little cry called Soneal was like oh my god my date is about to run out

I don't have internet so I went back to San Niels and immediately was very disappointed and very overwhelmed it was awful. Yeah that's really anticlimactic given like how hard you have to work as a person to buy a property literally by yourself all off your own steam no help from parents

no help from partners you're incredible you did that you went through all the paperwork you got your goddamn keys you had your Ketalanii Cups, that is actually genuinely. I mean, the upside here is you do ultimately own the flat. Like, everything's fine. But I would be also, I've been like, fuck, that's anticlimactic. And before I went, when I found out, I was getting the keys on the Thursday, I booked

a moving van for Monday morning. Okay. And I was like, if I don't get them today, I've got to be on a train to Glasgow tomorrow at 8 a.m. I will be able to get them for the moving on Monday. Then I'll lose my deposit. I've paid for the moving van. It's like, I need a fob to get into this building.

So I'm calling the company that runs the building And I'm like, please, can you send some fobs to me first place? Please, I'll pay. The estate agents call me back eventually and go, Oh my God, that's so funny. Yeah, the vendor just said, they're the wrong keys. Her son's going to come over and drop them off with us. And I'm like, where does the sun live?

Because they're clearly in their third home in France. And I'm like, you tell the boy to run. I need these forms. I was like, they're like, where are you? now and I was like I'm at my old flat and they're like oh my god lol we're going to be close to that building soon and I went this is not a time for lol did you say that no obviously not too scared um but I was when they I'd have straight have been like did you say lol I'm just going to rewind so did you say lol just checking in that we both know what l-o-l means not like

and no one's like losing our license or that's no one felt urgent like it felt like I was the only one that was like and I was like yeah of course I'm the only one's urgent because I'm the only one that this affects, right? It's fucking out. But long story short, I do get the fog, but I get it. I go back immediately. They drop it off at me and the nails. And go back immediately.

It's been the night cleaning because everything's covered in grease. The point where I'm like, how did this all get greasy in here? So maybe there was like a fish and chip shop in there for a bit or something. Or maybe. Sorry, I'm bleeding because I scratched my arm through that story because I find it's stressful thinking about it. Yeah, it was pretty anxiety provoking. Hey, listen, let's go again. Okay.

So now you're in. Yes. What do you have in the blast? Do you have a bed? No. Fine. Kettle. Wait, how's the moving van been?

Not until Monday. Oh, Monday coming. Fine. So the Thursday, late night, I go and do some cleaning. Yeah. And then when I get back from Glasgow, I leave Glasgow as you were arriving in Glasgow. That's so cute.

Did you have the best time? Honestly, to the point that I had to say to my audience at the end, I was like, so what's happened here is I showed up to Glasgow. I always have the best time in Glasgow, but usually they're like Irish audiences. They're like, right, let's see. We'll get on board if you're any way good We'll be absolutely on your team But they will kind of wait and see

This group of people I showed up to We're like the softest, gentlest, nicest queers I've ever gigged to So obviously in the second I get out there They're like, are you okay, sweet You're doing amazing But I was like agro Because I was like, right, let's go Glasgow

And they were like, we're going Ah, please stop So I did have to say that to them But my goodness made they were heaven I loved it Circling back again, if I may You get in, you clean Then you come back from Glasgow

And the whole time in Glasgow I'm thinking I want to of it in my dirty flat. Yeah, of course. I get back on Sunday. I'm like packing up my last bits. Like me and Sinala having this bowl fight, which is like really intense through everything.

But, you know, see last week's episode. We're okay now. Sort of. I'm packing up my bits. I've hired a moving man and people. Cute. They arrived Monday morning. I feel like such a business bitch.

I'm like, okay, I've hired a man, a van, and three lads. here we fucking go to go to my flat and at this point I've got all the keys that work well apart from the back door which I still don't have to this day but I've got a clicker and stuff it's just I feel so cool fine and oh my god this is so exciting where does the backdoor key go to to get in the back of the property I can't do that still yeah that's one of my business that's none of mine apparently um and then and then and then the guys come over and I'm like oh my god I'm so on it and then one of them's like are you Helen Bauer and I'm

I was like, here we fucking go. It's live for the Apollo. It's cut to this countdown. That came out recent. That makes sense, right? And he goes, do you know Shufflety Amarlo? Which are these two friends of mine from school who do rat battling? I know.

Jesus Christ. And I'm like, yeah. He's on the nationwide adverts, like pointing at Sunil to immediately deflect, which means the entire move. Is this one guy being like, can you sign this? like pointing to like my Simpsons poster and I'm like I didn't work on the Simpsons and he's like I know but maybe it'll be worth something and I'm like no my friend my god my guy stop it we get all my stuff in I'm like I'm over excited doing little things yeah of course and the moment

they leave my body sexually charges itself oh that is not where I thought this is going to go like I cannot you will experience this okay but the urge to pay paint when you can paint. Oh yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah. That's... I swear my clip was like a fucking gumble. I couldn't believe how ready I was to get a brush.

Okay. I don't know that we are going to have the same reaction. No, Catherine. Me and Francis spoke about it because Francis came over. Did you paint? How are you? And I was like, I'm going to paint. Throbbing to paint.

I literally, and Francis were like, and I understand that because I'm an artist, obviously. however you need to make some choices before just buying and I was like I'm ready to go I'm ready to go well this is the thing is if I ever own a flat I will probably do so with my girlfriend and if we own one together I know she's going to do that thing she loves to do this thing where we like sit in the space we have to get to know the space and how we'll function

how we'll feel and wait for it how the light moves around to decide what colours we go in which is a real thing it turns out but who gives the thought that's not the point I'll move the sun Yeah, I know, it's so weird. And then she's like, like, yeah, so I just know it'll be a lot of, like, sitting and pondering and blah, blah. And then eventually, even when we do get to paint, I don't cut in properly. Don't even get me started on cutting in.

You know what I mean? So you're just like... Called masking tape. Can we just? At which point, I lose interest. And so then it's like peace and love, all the best, my darling, which is what she wants anyway, so she can get to know the walls. It's all playing, yeah. So, um, painted everything yellow.

Did you already? Yeah. Have you already? Have you already? I did. I was patient for a bit. Every room yellow. No. Oh, I should have done it. What have you done yellow? Okay, I chose a yellow. Gorgeous, what kind? Um, like a buttery yellow. Basically, we're saying at the moment.

So shout out to Francis and Agnes Stanfield. Thank you for giving up two full days to paint my flat. Cuties. I love and appreciate everything you do. Oh my God. Very clever to choose an artist. Perfect. Thank you for doing more the cutting in, uh, Francis and Agnes. great trad wifing. So what I did is I was like, I think I like yellow. And then I was like, oh, I love yellow. Amazing. And it just like bubbled up in my body.

And for a while there, we were like, okay, maybe a light yellow and the darky yellow. And then I was like, no, I want the whole thing to feel like when I'm sitting down, I'm inside a tub of I can't believe it's not butter. Okay, but which, when you say the whole thing, where have you painted yellow? The whole living room, the whole kitchen. But there are they one room where they just? Yeah, yeah. And then, well, no, it's like a little.

little bit cornered off fine but that makes sense and the hallway every door a different bright colour in gloss what colours have you gone for blue green orange yellow pink i can't imagine that can i see it you have pictures yep it's it's a lot does it make you so happy yeah it does feel a bit like you're walking into a maze but that's fun that's like dopamine um painting that sounds fun here's oh my god hell i actually love this isn't that insane this is honestly we're can I just say at home you're probably thinking like I don't know about that because when you're describing it I was like it sounds like a fever dream but it's actually part of me halfway through doing it was like wait a second no but it actually it actually really works

and also what it's not giving my other worry was that would give nursery but it doesn't give that either it's so beautiful Francis just stopped me buying a safari rug for the hallway but what really works about this and I love the glass is that the yellow on the walls is so subtle the butter yellow. That it's actually, it's just really cool. Thank you. It's really cool.

I love the wooden floors. And you know what? You're the first Irish person that said something nice about that because I got all my paint from a man called John. Right. Who gave us a lovely discount. Thank you so much. Because Francis have been there so much to decorate their flat.

Nice. That then I benefited by getting discount of everything. And he was like, because you're with her, because you're with her. That's so nice. But I think I also got the discount because the first day we went there, which is when always go with an artist friend,

by the way I realized because like Francis laid out all the paint samples in the shop with like as if you were walking through my flat so like you can see that through that door and you can see that through that door and I'm like, fucking hell. Clever.

And they're a guy called John. I love that. Right? I'm really, really think that's so cool. Oh my God. Yeah, it's gorgeous. Have you seen the house in, it's called something like

the house in color or something on Instagram and every single wall. Every, like the ceilings are different colors to the walls are different colors so the floors are different colors, the skirting boards are different colors. And it's so beautiful. We were saying it's a bit like a house.

So mine when you walk in and see all the doors of different colors. And it's like, I'm wacky and I'm fun. Like me. Like me. Please like me. No, it's not giving that. I don't think. House of.

I can't remember what it's called. I'll find it. Find it and send it to me. Yeah, I will. I will. I will. But okay, so go on. Okay.

So this guy called John, who we're getting a paint from. When we first talked to him was like, you can come in the back if you want to see it mix. And I'm like, oh my God, I'm literally dying right now. Got in the back shows us the machine that shakes the paint can. And I obviously say like, oh, I fucking love to sit on that for half an hour. And he went, I bet you want, I bet you want, girls. And then he gave us a discount.

So always be sexual. Always is the message there. Yeah, maybe. Maybe. And then I painted everything. I already want to paint more last night at 11 p.m. I took all the door knobs off because I was like, I want to change these because I was so impatient painting the doors different colors. Before you.

I didn't take the door knobs off first. So now they've all got little bits of primer on them and little bits of paint on them. So then I was like, oh, I've got to take these off. And I tried to clean it with white spirit. And then I started choking. And it makes your hands so dry. Oh, my, my everything is dry.

If I scratch anything, I bleed at the moment. I was like, oh, and I've got to get new door knobs this morning. I got up at 8 a.m. and went into the local DIY shop, which they know me in now, which feels fucking awesome. That's cool. That's a nice feeling when you've just moved into a place. Oh, it's just incredible.

I've never, I'm so excited. I'm so happy. This is so exciting. find this place obviously obviously that I need to that's okay that's okay but also every color you can get mixed up super cheap by that is the heaven fun okay so what so your furniture has been delivered now so yeah well I've got what I have which is a sofa and a coffee table and then my mom got a Varam to come up from Fleet because she wants to downsize again of some furniture which means I have my childhood I so nice of her I've got her

like our childhood chair and tables. So that's officially a family heirloom. That's so nice. She thinks it's from 1994 in Fleet. Wow, you mean it. Wow, that's so beautiful. It's not so cute because it's got, the family set from 94.

How beautiful. I tried to clean it, but it's got all your, you and your siblings little fingerprints underneath it from growing up. That's genuinely so cute. Just from like different painting and stuff. I want to see pictures of that too. And what about the bed situation?

what's happening? I own the bed because we were in an unfurnished place for the nail. So you have a bed that's my word that was my worry

I have a bed and it's definitely going to be knocking on the top so I need to like do something else like you know like like if I do that motion

we get it yeah yeah no I'll just describe it clearly because some people do listen to it I think we've got it okay they're lying down

I'm on top I'm half dancing my hair's down I'm thinking it looks good that I get a bit sweaty so my hair does go up I've already got scrunchy around my thing barf you know dancing dancing on a dick you know when you're dancing on the dick i got it you know there's a lot of these like religious

american with the baccarina on the penis i want this never mind i wanted to end the worst dance the person could do on your dick i don't have one i don't know cotton i jo question mark come on let me see imagine if you start doing five six seven eight a drop of a penis although maybe there's a rhythm to that that's valuable i don't have i mean i'll put up pictures on my Instagram yeah there's

the yellow of the walls sofa it's gorgeous it's so cute it's everything you could dream of and you're having

fun I'm having so much fun there's just the practical stuff I haven't done yet there's a lot to

like what like electricity council tax still no internet when you say electricity the lights work the lights turn on I'm just

oh I'm just I'm paying for it what that'll be that'll be you They said you have to find the meter And I went okay And that was like seven days ago

I don't know where it is Okay Is it a apartment block of building Yeah yeah yeah When you come in the front door Is there are there any cupboards in the main hall I haven't really looked for it

Is my own answer there There's a good chance that's down there There's often a chance that's down there Not necessarily in your flat Yeah maybe That's what mine was Remember where I used to live Mine were all just by the front door

But that was just like a couple of flats This is like a block yeah okay well just surely the estate agent will be able to tell you'd be on the you'd hope so wouldn't you yeah yeah I should figure that out you really should just because otherwise you'll end up pay as soon as you get the photo that's proof of what it was like when you moved in even if you get it now they can average it over the last seven days based on your next three months usage but if you do it too long it's not gonna be these are the things I'm no idea I could see you zone out as I said have you registered with a local GP no no but

they're up the road already changed on the electoral register that's you do that on cancel tax right the sub button on council tax yeah is it okay no we haven't done that these are my favorite things to do i fucking love taking these off yeah so none of these yeah i need to get internet installed really because i'm just sort of like streaming from my phone what because i bought i eventually bought the weeks unlimited data pass because i got senile to download onto a on to a USB stick for me um 30 rock and um then i just i just blasted through it okay okay and And so you haven't got, do the internet know you're, are they coming out? Like, it's a book day.

They're going to come, yeah, at some point. That's fine. That's all you can do. That's all you can do is book in. Yeah. And I sageed it. Well, as long as you staged it. Such a strong smell. Fantastic.

So when does Nathan move in? I think now, I think he's in my flat now. I gave him key the other week. So I guess he's just going to let himself in at some point. Whoa. I said just whatever. How do you feel about having someone there? Terrified.

Do you know why? Because it's yours now. Because he's who's going to paint. tonight and I was like do not do not get any on the carpets and he went ah ha ha ha ha and I was like Nathan I I've changed I've changed like do not get any on the carpets and he was like and then he was like do you have a hammer by the way and I went yeah why did you need a hammer and he went oh so I can say hello to the neighbours and I was like Nathan I know you're being fun I know you're being fun but none of this is funny to me. Does it feel very different when it's a

But it's your house, and when it's somebody else's. I haven't felt it yet because so far it's just been Francis and Agnes over. Yeah. Who take so much more care than I do. Oh, that's so nice. With painting and cutting in and like asking like, do you want this painted as well? Let me, oh, I want to do the around the radiator again. Like it's so thoughtful.

And Agnes was like teas, coffees, what do you need to eat? What do you need to drink? Like everything just organized like angels. and then I took them bookshopping. Oh, that's a nice, thank you. That's lovely. It's cute. But yeah.

And now I'm like, Nathan's coming over. So Neil's been over and was nervous. But more terrified with my family coming over. That's what we need to get into. Tell me about it. First of all. You know, I was thinking about you so much the day they came over. Why?

Do you remember your bit of stand? Do you remember your own bit of stand up? Yes, I do know exactly the bit that you mean. About family coming to visiting. Like, oh, make yourself a home. yeah we are literally like it's not your fucking home don't you dare me because honestly it's so awful the second my when i'm at my mother's house i'm like woohoo this is mine i live here whoo this is mine i live here she comes to my house and i genuinely mean to say like make yourself at home but as i said i'm like not too fucking comfortable because you don't live here and i yeah okay you might have helped me pay for but you don't live here like i'm just like absolutely it's so hard when other people are in your house it's i was like i was like please let my mom come early on because my mom's the only one with the one with the the social skills to compliment. Right.

To be like, oh my God, it's lovely. I love it. But the first comers of the day were Michael and Marianne, which is the worst duo. My father and my sister is not the duo you won. At least your brother would have been like, well done or something. And I was, that, so Ted was like 30 minutes behind with his lovely girlfriend.

And I was like, thank God. But Michael and Marianne arrived. Thank God I thought about Marianne arriving, bought her a Disney stitchpin mystery pox, which would distract her for 90 minutes. insane that you had to get her a gift to come to your new house, but yeah, go on. She walks in any space and goes, any gifts?

It's great. Any gifts? What a life. I mean, that's literally what you do, but fine. Go on. Oh my God, thank you so much to M, by the way, for the Rattatooie pajamas. Oh my God, yes. One of our listeners actually found them in Marianne's size. Send them to the studio and Marianne's so happy. It's really nice.

We just Face-timed her. She's lost her fucking mind. It's so nice. Oh, well done, Emma. And honestly, that was such a kindness. That was such a kindness. I cannot believe. you managed to find them and then you posted them over from Ireland? It was an of course it was an Irish woman. Of course

it was now that'll be for me to sort Willett. Yes, thank you. She's over the moon including asking me to be nice to the rat printed on the fabric. Oh, you'd be nice to him, Helen. He only wants cheese. And you only once mentioned that they hadn't sent them in your size. Which is fine. If anyone does see

them in a larger size, I would appreciate that as well to be matching with my sister and I know how that looks and sounds and I think I think it is weird, but I would also like them because they're incredibly soft jersey. Thank you very much. Yeah, they do look very cozy. Obviously, incredibly grateful. So they walk in, and they're just both like, there's a cup of tea.

Like, they're just like literally nothing. Fantastic. No compliment, no interest. Like, Dad's like, road's a bit loud. Jesus. Main thing is he wants to figure out how long it would take to walk from London Bridge. And I'm like, hours, Michael. What?

What sort of a question is that? Why would that be the landmark? I don't know. He just likes to know how long it takes to walk places. And it's like, you know, At some point, Mike, you've got to realize your fat daughter's not walking. To London Bridge? You walk loads, but why the hell do you walk to London?

Not too. Who's walking to London Bridge from there? Right. And more importantly, the roadside, why can't they just say? And that's not even a your dad thing. That's just like parents just can't. I don't think they can say the right thing in those situations. It's like they know what they should say, but they instead say eight other things

where you're like, what out, what? What? Out. Literally. No. Huh? Yeah. And he comments on what he was thinking

whilst driving up to it, thinking about the areas and stuff. And I'm like, you know what, Michael? Like, your opinion, I love you. It does not. Like, you've lived in a couple of places in Surrey and then that's pretty much it. South London, Surrey.

That's it. Helen, let me say this as like a person older than you. You're living the dream. All I want is to be able to own a flat in London. You have managed to do it. It's incredible. It kind of doesn't matter what it's like, but I know it's beautiful.

and also I don't know that proximity to London Bridge is as important as your father's making out but I'm thrilled okay right so he's It's a dad question isn't it I'm gonna take you to walk to a shod

My dad wouldn't do that But what my dad I know my dad would do is open cupboards He loves to open doors He loves to check what's in there What's in there? What's in there? What does in there? What'll you do with that?

It's very like checking Do you know what to me like he likes to knock on walls kind of thing I'm the opposite I desperately want my dad to do that. I'm like, look through everything. Look at me with pride and love. Like, inspect it. Like, show interest. He comes and sits down. Goes, how long is it to Lunderbridge? I don't know. And then he's immediately on Google Maps. And then that's him done for the next five hours. Fuck. How long is it to Lunderbred? Google mapping. A couple of hours walk, probably.

I'll text him. Yeah, definitely check in. And then he's looking up the weather in different places in the world to see what the temperature is like. You know, he's busy. Sweet mother of God. And Marianne immediately, oh, that's my room. That's my room. No, it's not. She doesn't have my address as far as I'm concerned and then my brother writes in this group. Wait, were you like, it's Nathan's. What's Helen? Yeah, it's Nathan's. No, it's not. She gets a Sharpie. She's written on my calendar that's already on the wall. Marianne for pretty much every weekend coming up. Long story short, Catherine. I'll just, I'll just skip a lot of this. On the 10th and 11th of May, I'm spending a weekend at Chester Zoo. Fantastic. I gave up. It wasn't worth

the fight. That's another couple of hundred pounds sunk into a Chester Zoo trip. Which, as we all know, is just a full day of me doing 30,000 steps with my dad and sister, while they point to every animal that's actively pooing or weeing and say, ha-ha, that's Helen. Christ, at least you don't have her at your house. There is that. How does she do it? How does she do it?

She came to visit me on my birthday week. She gets a stitch pin and then a trip to chest as soon. And somehow gave Nathan, like, a week and the house to himself. Maybe he set her up. Wait, so hang on. What did your mom say? loved it. Charmed. Charmed.

It was very nice. She was like, great, got the chairs and tables in, had an old IKEA unit from 2000, she thinks it's from, got that as well now. She's good. She's on it, she's on it. Bought me sauce pans.

Yes, correct. My housewoman gift. Like, she just knows what she's doing. Yeah, she just behaves like a normal person in a polite way. Also did bring up all of my childhood stuff. I thought I had most of it. What do you mean?

You ever been given five unopened Spice Girl Barbie dolls? Wait, sorry, she brought your children, she brought your stuff. I never received them as a child. What? I vaguely remember this throughout the years. Like, she bought, when the Spice Girls were big, she bought five Barbie dolls, one for each of them. Yeah. Be mad to get a double, but not.

And then they were just there, just in packaging, but me and my sister never received them. Why? I don't know. Okay. And then she brought up, I'm going to say, 40 Beanie Babies. Sorry. She literally just brought all your childhood stuff to your house. And she was like, these are yours.

And I went, oh, maybe, maybe. But I was thinking, I've got 10 Beanie Babies already and those are mine. And she's like, these are definitely yours. That's a mad response. And then also, I know my mom listens to this. Thank you so much. I do really appreciate it. No.

I don't know she looked through. I turned the bag over. There's three FIFA. World Cup Korea 2002 bears in there I don't know what 10 year old

Helen was thinking if she bought three of them like... Sorry, just to rewind you could tell that probably what is mad

is remember what we thought being a baby would be like cryptocurrency part of me still thinks that I know it's like

come on it's the new gold but it's not the mad thing is that why do they do that why well you'll be

wanting always well I don't want it you've probably kept it I've been like I don't need this I don't want this

when she was like do you want your stuff? I went, oh my God, yes, because when I went home for a birthday in January, she was like, do you want to see on the bookshelves, what's yours? And I went, oh, I just want my childhood books. Yeah. I wanted my, um, Jacqueline Wilson's, my old, um,

roll dolls, like my BFG, Georgia's Marvelous Medicine and the big pig book. Do you remember the big pig book by Dick King Smith? Yes, I know exactly the one you mean. Slay. So I was like, I just want those. It opens in the middle. So I put them in a bowl. and then she was like oh I've got granny's copy of little women it's very old and I was like oh that would be yes that's so generous yes please thank you so much um did not realize that that meant that like everything I um I made an infant school would be coming as well

yeah what are you supposed to do that are you going to keep it it's amazing that it took until year three to diagnose me with dyslexia I'll say that okay that is mental do you have some sort of storage like do you have like a loft or an Attic or a... Yes, that's an active that's a working out process right now. Oh, like, you don't know. I don't. Is there a flat above you? Yes.

Okay, when you lock up to the sea... There is no loft or attic, but there is a big cupboard and it's all piled up in there and there's no damp. Great. And I will be figuring it out and it will be figured out.

And you know what? I am glad I have it, mother. I genuinely am because now I know... You're now just talking to Anne. Should we cut this? I know what I have. I know what I have. and I'm going to buy a toy hammock

which is something that people put in the corner of their room to put their toys in. Do you want that? I am, you know what, Catherine? It is, what it is. Why don't you just buy a box and then put them in the box and then put a label on? But don't you ever get worried when you put, like, toys in a box?

Put them with a blanket. But they're going to get upset with you, like, Toy Story. You can put them with a blanket. No, it's not the same. Because then you sort of like, it's sort of like, you know, like in Toy Story when they're just like forgotten about I'm like wheezy and he gets the choker in his mouth and stuff. You could donate them to a children's hospital.

You know when Jesse sings... You could donate them to a children's hospital. What's the six children can touch my lovely things? Ugh. What were their meningitis? Okay. So it's gone well the move. Could imagine what's more scary for a toy,

you've been put in a box or being like, good luck. You're terrible at sharing. You're terrible at sharing. Wait, so you're moved in, basically. No, there will be a definitely donation at some point. I don't think you should be an adult woman with a toy. Oh, boy hammock, sorry. Do you really not?

Like, do you not think that's a little bit cute? I think you'd have solved your knocking bed problem. That was unkind. I'm sorry, but if I walked into an adult woman room and she had a fucking children's hammock, I'd be like, wicked, hey. So a children's hammock is a toy hammer. I think you know it's both.

I'd be like, um, I've got, yikes. Ooh, is that my Uber? Bye. No way. It's creepy. Oh, how unkind. It's giving creepy, I'm sorry. Oh, that's awful.

Sorry. Okay. And I know that's a risk with our listenership. Yeah. I know that's a big risk. There's a lot of Helen's out there with toy collection. There's some teddy bear owning listeners, but I'm going to say it. If there were teddy bears in the room that I was going to have sex in, I'm out.

Sir Honeypot's on my bed right now. Hello? I think you get one. I think you get one. Well, no, I'm not picking between Sir Honeypot and Mamie. That'll be mental. I'm just saying a hammock's worth. Oh, my heartless.

A hammock's worth is too many. Yeah. I just don't want that many eyes in the space. Well, I'm going to do my three FIFA career bears. You actually could sell those. Those are the ones that are most likely to make you money. I've got a lot to do because I've also got a collection of 20 zippos from Uncle David still to deal with. Christ.

Well, fantastic. I've had the big moves going well. One from the Freemasons. If anyone wants one of those, let me know. Please don't sell your old toys on this podcast. Okay. Well, this is a zippo. It's not a toy.

Right. Okay. So the move has gone well. Well done. That's so exciting. Should we answer a problem? Let's answer a problem. And then we also need to find a date that you come over before you rush or filming.

I love to. I think we struggled the other day. We'll try. We'll try again. I'd love to see it. You've got to come see the yellow. It's all I want. But I want, like, I would say like I'll drop in if I have a second.

But I don't think you want me dropping in. You want to know I'm coming. I'm the kind of person I think you'd want to make. I've already had so many people drop in. Okay. I'd find me a stressful drop in. I'd want, but then if you don't, then that's fine. All my friends are quite practical

so they just get on with staff. Yeah, I would, to be fair. You would find my meter. I'd find your meter. I'd be my dad opening cupboards. We're ready for the problem. I'm so sorry. This is from Tee.

Hi, Tee. Dear Catherine, Helen, Andrew, and M. I'm so grateful for the podcast. It's kept me going through a really tough few months. Thank you. No, not a tough one. Nobody finds it well. Welcome.

I won't bog you down with depressing stuff, but I do thankfully have a new fun problem that has arisen out of all the shit. I need to buy a new wardrobe and I'm so excited to start all over again. I was trapped in greys and blacks and basic stuff for ages because I didn't want to stand out

but now frankly I don't give a fuck where's good to go for a wardrobe overhaul what mistakes should I be wary of what underrated clothing item am I missing out on I'm going to go bright yellow, blue, green maybe and just dress joyfully love you all and hopefully see you soon at our live show in my new clothes

Oh my God I thought this was a literal wardrobe Oh yeah initially so did I Initially, I was like, okay. Wait, you thought it's from a wardrobe? No, I thought. No, but we thought, I genuinely thought the same thing, which is like, this person needs to buy a wardrobe. Oh, no, no, no.

And I was like, maybe we could do open railings. Maybe we could, I was like, okay. Right, well, first of all, thrilled that you're out of whatever dynamic you were in, that means that you are now comfortable dressing in a way that makes you happy. That's the only person you should answer to, which is partly going to be my advice, I think,

which is that like, as long as you like it, that's the main thing. What I would say is... Crochet Nets. apparently according to us today. Oh yeah, indeed, why not? What I was going to say is that I would strongly recommend not trying to do it all at once.

Like, if you're trying on a whole new luck, I think it's really smart to go and buy a piece that to you is like, this is it, this is what I want to feel like most days and then wear that for a little while and actually see if it does make you feel the way you're hoping it'll make you feel because I've definitely bought entire new wardrobes and been like, I don't know that I am her. but if you find one piece

it will then that like makes you feel great it will embolden you I think to be able to spot the right other things and what piece do you start with shoes is shoes the first thing I would never start with shoes no you don't start okay well just because

fuck no no just because shoes to me are like the thing that go with the outfit yeah I know I think I would buy something that's the cheapest way to start the process I think is to buy like a one piece like whether that be like a boiler suit or like a really good trouser or a dress where you don't have to pair it with loads of other things.

I feel like a skirt means you have to find like top and maybe cardigan or jumper and tights and blah. It's so much, you know, where's a dress? So we're not just wearing skirts out these days. We've got to put something on top. They prefer if you do. I've heard that. Although you do get a better discount at the paint shop if you don't.

I'll have said that. I bet you well. I bet you well. But I do just say, hey, your eye. 20% off. It actually makes my eyes bleed. But I think, well, I think, yeah, I think, like, if you can, like a one piece, like, you know, just because it feels like that is, or you could just get a t-shirt in the colour because then you'll probably wear that with loads of different things. But just be sure.

But then I just think mainly, I don't really like the idea of like avoiding mistakes. I actually think that's, you're supposed to make mistakes with clothes. No, or you mustn't. What you want to do, all I think would work. If you're of the size where you shop on a high street, go on like Saturday mornings when teenagers are shopping. No. Because there's always some being dragged along by their parent and you know you've got to that

fashion show. Come on. This is bad advice. Shopping when you're a teenager. You go in the stall. Your mum's already like, try this on. You'll look lovely and you're like, no, I won't. No, I want to try it.

She's like, give it a go and you're like, I want to want this. And you go and you're changing it. And every single thing you put on, just like, come on out. let me see it come on out and you come out and then she's sitting there with six of the mums and you come out and they all go oh lovely and you're like why would you want teach you have to go through that and then you're made to bend over to see if it rides down or rides up and you're like mom no no no and she's like go on touch the floor and you're like please mummy please mommy please mommy this is not a common experience it is and then at the end of that the teenagers will let you know what's in fashion okay so I would not recommend that in fact I would say say if you're trying to be brave, don't go anywhere near a shop, order them and try them on in the comfort of your home because then you can decide how you feel

without those fucking horrible lights and without mean assistance and you can usually, because shops are so fucked about sizing, get every size online in a way that you don't have to navigate when you're, or that you do, like you have to navigate in the shop. That would be, so what, really opposite advice? You were saying, start with shoes in front of teenagers.

I'd actually like to take back all my advice and do the online shopping one as well. But the one thing I will say is this, my favorite thing to do and a way of playing, I think, in a fun way before you spend your money, is to make a little Pinterest board, make a little Instagram board, make a little, because if you can get lots of people in different, like, shape, sizes, whatever, in the clothes that look like, or like maybe have a slightly body type similar to yours or not, but I just find it quite nice to, like, see what looks nice on them, what do they wear, like, what? You're so right. I follow people because of their outfit. It's such a playful way to like, without having to go do loads of it. Like, for example, like,

I don't buy the idea that your size means you can only wear certain types of clothes, but I do think, like, if you're shorter, will you be drowned on something? Does this actually look like it looks, like it says it looks on to everybody type? Do you know what, you're like, if the models are only size eight,

how do I know what that looks like on a person with no boobs or with huge boobs? I saw someone on my Instagram recently and their whole thing is like, is it fashionable or does it just look good because you're thin this is the honest to god honest to god and by the way that applies like i'm a size 10 i'm zen but it's like is a fashionable or is that just a size zero model like it's not like thin it's like if you have no no shape like if you're just straight up and down yeah obviously obviously you should be a size zero but you don't even like

if you have if your body shows in the clothes will it look good so i think that and um and have as much... Yeah, following people on Instagram, that's such a smart way to do it. And just like make Pinterest boards because then when you see them all together, like do they look like the same person? Does that person feel like you?

And then as some practical advice, is colour blocking still a thing? Are we into that still? Yeah, wonderful. I love that then because I find that super easy because then you just buy like everything in one colour

and that's your style. That's nice. What I will say is when you actually organise your clothes in your wardrobe before you buy anything, that's the other thing I would do is put like your black tops together, put your white shirts together, put whatever you're keeping, pop those things that are, put like with like, so that you actually can see where the

gaps are. Because sometimes you'll be like, oh, I need a lot. And then you're like, shit, I had three of these. I just didn't realize. And you might realize two of them are shit, in which case I got to go, but that's fine. So just make sure, find out where your gaps are. You should do, um, sort your life out. Oh, my last piece of advice, I'd love to. But I love Stacey, so I don't want to interrupt her. No, no, but she's had guests on this last season. You should go on and do a wardrobe segment. Do you know where I'd be best? Let's be honest.

Kitchen. Cleaning. That fucking warehouse. Get it gone. Get it gone. Do you think you'd be able to do that with someone telling you their life story? They need a therapist. That one-off situation isn't going to deal with this.

You book the therapist. Get in the phone. Some of them have diseases, Catherine. I know that's why I think it's a bit mad that they throw out all their stuff and I're just expecting them to be fine. To circle back. What I was saying was, oh yes, wardrobe. Oh, that's what I was going to say. this is, I think, a good piece of advice

that I just thought of. Everyone starts when they buy themselves new clothes with occasion wear. When I had much less money, I would only ever buy clothes and I really didn't buy clothes for a long time, but I would only buy clothes if it was for an occasion, which meant that if I bought anything,

it was like a dress you wear to a wedding, not something I wear regularly, which is actually such a waste of money. So I used to buy okay, like I think it's better if you can buy occasion wear secondhand or in like charity shop, or borrow them from a friend. And if you're going to buy something,

buy something you'll actually get used out of. Start with casual wear. Yeah. That's my genuine advice. That's actually really smart. Just get a couple of really nice things that you can whack on. Day to day.

Every day. I've got like two pairs of these jeans. That is actually... And then I wash them once a month each. Wear them every day. There is some good advice in there behind the East Invection and it's this. Oh, knickers every week.

Do you know what advice I wish I'd done but now I'm going to try to do from here on out? if I fucking like something buy too I love these cowboy boots so much I live in them they're already wrecked can I get them now no so annoying

if you can't afford it treat yourself and get to you'll be glad of it yeah oh my god this is so fun what a fun thing to do to like revamp your wardrobe and ask your friends if you have any friends who are similar to you like buy try to do some swapsies oh my god fashion show

I know I will that is one thing that if I ever don't live with Charlie Clive again, I'm really, my wardrobe is going to get. I know, you've got like the best access wardrobe. It's unbelievable. I don't know when I last wore my own clothes. It's going to be very disappointed to find out what I actually have. I couldn't believe it.

I was like the amount of shirts and bowls I'm going to be missing out of wearing now. Do you wear his shirt? No, obviously not. How have my breast fit in Sunil's shirt? Okay. Sorry. I just thought that would have been sexy. What are you missing most about not living with Sunil?

I've had him over twice already and I'm calling him every day so we're yet to cut the cut the string but what are you noticing in the lack of him I miss cuddy in the morning um

Nathan's going to want to do that I guess Neil never wanted I'm trying not to I'm trying not to rely on other people for my emotional regulation hell yeah Helen Bauer and I'm saying what I want

so like whatever yeah I don't want to do that I deserve better than that don't put that on my carpet I don't need a cuddle. I can take care of myself. Don't get paint on my garbage. What's the hammer for?

Yeah. So like fuck, fuck everyone else. I'm fine. Okay, great. I'm a vibe now. No, I miss cuddy club.

Fuck everyone else is always a really healthy vibe. I always think people are nailing it if they're like, fuck everyone else. Wicked. I can't do, I can't do. I'm like, fuck everyone else. Oh my God, do you hate you want anything? But also fuck everyone else is not a good.

Everyone always acts like that's the goal. It's not the goal. It's not the goal. It's horrible. Other people are important. When people are like, I'm number one. I was going to say, yeah, just everything I miss about him.

And he's really thriving without me. Really? Why? Him and Heidi, our friend, who's moved in with him. Has she already moved in? Jesus, what you take your grave is quick. My God, in she went into your room or his old room? His old room. He moved up to my room.

I went over to help him build his bed. I helped him order his new sofa. I've been doing a lot of work for him, actually. You actually have. Wait, does she have that in that way? And he gave me a speech about not. being like you don't have to like do everything for Nathan you don't have to baby people and at the same time

I was ordering his dinner and I was like you little piece of shit that's insane to be like don't have another son I'm your favourite son and he is my favourite son I love him and then him and Heidi have been watching action films every single evening together

and then I was like oh but I don't want to watch Jack Reacher and he was like yeah because life's better without you because now I can watch it whenever I want and I found that really upsetting and then yesterday they messaged Sunil said we watched Jason Statham's 2011 masterpiece, the mechanic tonight to continue Heidi's film education

and then Heidi came in just a little bit later saying unless Helen has a different movie suggestion to join we've agreed next film is Disney and I said are you for sure like do you do you mean that because that makes me happy Heidi says yes please and I went and I can pick it and snail went yes do you know how senile was saying you don't have to baby everyone

while you ordered his dinner yeah do you ever hear yourself talk after you've described your sister no okay cool um well uh i think we've nailed that episode and um we'll have more gossip on the extras from homeowner helen bower wow what a girl is that like the best phrase ever you should get it made into you should you should change your name by deedpole to homeowner you should actually get the internet first get internet. Get internet and council tax. And please find your

meter. And find my meter. And no offense. Change your toilet seat. Okay, love you guys. Does that answer T's problem? Oh yeah. Hope so.

You did we so way out of that? Hope so. We somehow circled back to the to you reading text messages from Sunil but you're totally fine with Edom before we... No, I miss him. Yeah.

Okay, bye. Thank you, T. Okay, love you. Bye. Cheers. Thank you so much to our exact. If producers look at you there in your lounge, Guy Goodman, Simon Moore, Danny Tonner, Stephanie Catrachia, Oliver Jago, Anthony Conway, Neil Redmond, Sadie Cashmore,

and oh, ding, ding, what's this? A new member of the club, Angela S. Thank you for joining us. Angela S. Let's get that gender parity. Is Angela Scanlon? No, I didn't say that. It's no.

And welcome to the club. No, you guessed that. We said highly unlikely. Welcome. Thanks for joining, guys. And to our amazing producers who also have a lounge, I like to think. It's L. It's Richard Bold.

It's Harold Van Dyke. It's Tim and Domus, David Walker, it's Rachel R. It's Claire Owen Jones. Sing it with me. Sarah and Molly, Ria Fink, Cordelia, Rachel Page, Helen A, Tina Lindsay, Amy O'Reardon, Abby Woff, Matt Sims, Luke, Bright, Leah, Kate, Liz, Fort, Taz, Anthony, Chloe, Chloe Fox, Dean, Michael, Sophie, Chivers. Never figured it out.

Carrie Seuth, never figured it out. Charlie A, KC, Jam Rainbird, Brin, which always makes me think of the girl from the later seasons of dance months. Ezra Periguin, Laura Pollock, Leah Overend, Stephen Chicken, always a bit of fun. Dougie Robertson, Hayley Singer, Sarah Deakin, Tamson Smith, Harding.

Did you put those in a different order to usual? Yeah. That is very good. You really kept me on my toes there. It's even funnier because you were like singing with me and I was like, couldn't if I tried. Yeah, don't even know the lyrics. Couldn't you if I dread.

It's a new song. Thank you for being a page. Thank you for arguably knowing way too much about us. Whoop, who.