Trusty Hogs - Ep195. OLGA KOCH / Babies, Berries & Birthday Girls

Episode Date: July 17, 2025

We have a romantic episode for you this week from perfect proposals to risqué age-gap dalliances. Slip on a sensible show and enjoy brilliant podcast fave OLGA KOCH alongside Catherine and returning guest co-host Rose Johnson…FOLLOW OLGA: @Kolga300FOLLOW ROSE: @RoseJohnnoNEW MERCH: www.trustyhogs.com/merchThank you so much for listening!Support us at www.patreon.com/TrustyHogs for exclusive bonus content, merch, and more!Trust us with your own problems and questions... [e-mail] give us a follow @TrustyHogs on all socialsBe sure to subscribe and rate us (unless you don’t like these little piggies - 5 Stars only!)All links: https://audioalways.lnk.to/trustyhogsSNThank you to our Patreon supporters...EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Guy Goodman / Simon Moores / Stefanie Catracchia / Oliver Jago / Anthony Conway / Neil Redmond / Angela S / Sadie Cashmore / Charlie WeemesPRODUCERS: Elle / Richard Bald / Harald van Dijk / Tim & Dom / David Walker / Rachel R / Claire Owen-Jones / Sarah & Molly / Raia Fink / Cordelia / Rachel Page / Helen A / Tina Linsey / Amy O'Riordan / Matt Sims / Luke Bright / Leah / Kate / Liz Fort / Taz / Anthony / Klo / Becky Fox / Dean Michael / Sophie Chivers / Carey Seuthe / Charley A / KC / Jam Rainbird / Tamsyne Smith-Harding / Ezra Peregrine / Bryn / Laura Pollock / Leah Overend / Steven Chicken / Hayley Singer / Dougie RobertsonWith Helen Bauer (Daddy Look at Me, Live at the Apollo) & Catherine Bohart (Roast Battle, Mock the Week, 8 Out of 10 Cats)FOLLOW HELEN, CATHERINE & ANDREW...@HelenBaBauer@CatherineBohart@StandUpAndrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Hello. You're listening to this. We hope at some point from the Edinburgh Fringe maybe some of you go see Helen. You have to. And if you're going, pop her in your plan. And also Andrew will be there.

Why haven't you booked these tickets already? What the hell you guys? Come on. I'm sure you already have. And Rose Matafayo. She'll be there. Oh my God, wonderful. And Paul Williams.

Why are you listing? There'll be loads of people there. There's a very big festival. You should just be listing more people. And if you're in London. Pat Cohen. Yes, but also if you're in London and you haven't got tickets, I hope you're coming to see me at TLDR recording.

Molly McGuinness. I can't stop thinking of people at friends. Hello and welcome to episode 195 of Trustee Huggs. It's me, Catherine Bowhart, and today, in the guest co-host seat, looking genuinely stunning. Stop. It's Rose Johnson. Aye.

Hi, huggies. Never feel, well, that's really revealing an arrogance of mine, but I rarely feel like, oh, there's. people have better hair than me but you have got the most incredible i know this is an audio medium but i am looking at a hefty load of hair today wow it's exquisite yeah it's it is thank you and also it's and also it's 31 degrees out how are we coping well as i it was up when we arrived and then i did unleash it for unleash it's the word it's phenomenal but it's so warm it's too it's like as I said to you, on a hot day like today

it's like wearing a scarf. Two scarves. Yeah, two scarfs. Yeah. Jesus. So I've for the hogs. You're good. I've taken it down. Through the fog. Step forth the trusty hogs. Yeah. You're gonna give them your problems

and they will solve them or maybe they won't and that's your problem. They'll have guests and Andrew White. on the tech Oh, it's Helen and Catherine as the trusty hugs

Trust the trusty hogs Or maybe not As I was saying to lovely I Having a small child Plang Brang! No, the thing is

I've mentioned it this early Because when you have one You don't have anything else Or have anything else to talk about So you kind of have to But when you have big curly hair and a small child, it doesn't really get a lot of time to flourish

because it's getting pulled, it's getting dirty. Basically, most of the time it's up and a disgusting top knot. Shall we get into it? How is it? Ellen said to me, I love Rose Johnson. Ask her how she is and the baby and I thought, it's been a bloody year and a half.

I thought it would have been two. It has. But then I asked you and you're like, you still feel like a new mom. Well, as I said to you, pretty pored. I'm still in the maternity leggings. I don't know if I'll ever leave them, to be honest. They look.

nice and they look I don't know why we're not all in them at all the time honestly but once you've worn them and like mater non-underwire today I've put an underwired bra on I honestly feel like I'm in some kind of BDSM relationship

with myself yeah like it's mad yeah I I don't obviously it's not the same but I do have such a visceral memory of putting on a sensible trainer I've always worn heels or converse and Edinburgh

2022 I just thought 30,000 steps a day I have to, I have to buy something I can walk in popped in and honestly it was like I like Wimpert it was like what are we talking what brand Ellen hates them there now gone and I've been replaced with Solomon's like I'm cool or whatever she's so cool we never had a Solomon's just a way it's okay you don't need to because you're not an East London lesbian and good for you girl

but at the time my first foray was mom's favorite new balance. Yeah, okay. And I truly simpered up the road. I was like, oh. Yeah, you can't, I won't, I can't even, I won't even wear like a decorative Nike anymore. I really understand.

Not comfortable enough. Sorry, absolutely not. I'm wearing running shoes in my day-to-day life, and I'm telling you right now, I ain't running. I love that for us. I'm trotting at the quickest. Well, you're probably, if you're a mom, you're an out, Don't you get your license to do the running arms, but the walking legs?

Don't they give it to you? I tell you what, I do do quite a lot of like very like sprint start scampers because when I suddenly get distracted and realise my son's just no longer in eyesight, which never has never happened. Obviously that's a theoretical, yes. But yeah, I'm doing a lot of sprint starts. We spent the weekend, like the Sunday a couple of weeks ago with Ellen Scardson, who's three and his parents.

and I was like completely unaware that how much of parenting a three year old is full tilt sprint like they were he's got a bike no yeah they would just like they would just be like back in a sec

and then just have to be like a genuine running start and then we'd like fly past hand the bat and the other one would be like so yeah and then we just head it over and then the other one would go take off and you'd go oh my god they're a relay team yeah you when you when you become a parent to a young child

just you're the rudest person because mid-sentence often you're just, you're gone, you're gone. I get it though, that seems reasonable. Yeah, I mean, I'll stay here. Yeah, so how is it? The word I would use, which I've borrowed from my,

one of my best friends in podcast, oh gosh, she's having a small stroke, podcast co-hosts. Camille Yu-Chan, Relentless. Wow. Relentless. Yikes. You say that and you don't even blink

when you say relentless. I haven't blinked in 80s. Wow, well, you can't keep an eye, take an eye off. If you had to have to blink one at a time. You could wink, I guess. Exactly. And so you, I feel like the whole first year of having a child is your, you're sort of inconstant fight or flight.

Yeah. And you're sort of like, the overwhelming emotion and vibe in your head is just like, surely not. It can't be this. It can't be this. really yeah but then it's like stockholm syndrome

you just accept and come to love it okay that he is ultimately in charge of your life and you're his servant now yeah yeah yeah yeah and I truly am he's a lout oh really yeah he's the boss he is the boss that has recently learned he doesn't say no just does this

um she's his own big head shake everything except Wheatabix. Oh, I'm mad after my own heart. Loves it. I have to say, the gift that keeps on giving,

I am never disappointed with a wheatabick. Delicious. A couple of berries or a banana. Don't mind if we do. Fiber. Yeah. And also you're like full for a considerable while. It's nice in summer with a nice cold milk.

It's heartening. Hearty in the winter. What's your problem? He has a good point there. You need to get them to sponsor you. Me and your son. This is free. This is all for free.

I fucking love Wheatabix. Like I can't stress. I don't know. Tell, please tell me. just freshly back in the UK Yes, I'm freshly back from my first ever acting job Yeah, which you text me about saying This is a joke, why would anybody do any other job?

This is the best ever. You're in on the secret. Yeah, yeah. Everyone out there pretending it's difficult. What are you talking about? Listen, I'm not saying there aren't hard parts to acting. There are. And I'm not even saying I'm good at it.

They're not that hard. But fuck me, the trade-off is divine. Essentially, you get treated like a baby. which is my dream. That's my dream. They would lift you off the toilet if they could. Yeah. Because they don't,

the thing is they don't, some of it's, they say it's for insurance purposes a lot of this like babying but I think it's because actors generally are at then. We are not typical actors, me and you. We, me and you, type A,

we're on time. I mean, you were late today, but we're scrapper. And I'm so sorry. Generally we're on time, we're on top of our admin. We know what's going on, okay?

most actors do not they you have to pluck them out of the ether on which they float to kind of come and do the job so they don't trust you to like get anywhere feed yourself dress yourself walk to the next drawer trailer no no no no no need an escort we're not just going to tell you you need to be here at this time someone will come and get you maybe in a car yeah it was astonishing because they'd be like okay you need to be a breakfast at 6 a.m in here makeup by 615 and then in costume by say 650 I was like grand they're all next door to each other and still every time at 615 a child would arrive with head set on to go Catherine just here to take you to and you're like yeah yeah hair makeup got it or wherever I'm going yeah yeah and they're like okay and then they still walk all 11 steps with you and it's just it's very reassuring and it's lovely as well when you're walking the 11 steps and they say into a walking greek Catherine traveling Yeah Really nice

Catherine 101 Catherine 101 Catherine's going to Yeah well I've I've heard your saga Bad news But yeah

With heaven on earth But I am back to What we can say to be Hellish Sweltering weather Yeah When is this going to get Peep behind the curtain

This is This is going to be out In a few weeks And but currently we are Early July And it's a scorcher It's 34 degrees in London It's not right

It's not good Is that I'm considering is it time now that everyone in the UK just and I can't believe what I'm saying because I know it's so bad with the apartment but is it time shows our heads no what we're us too no of course us to no everyone else does too everyone else should yeah that's actually a better plan than me I was going to say is it aircon time in our houses like do we just need to have air on installed in our houses this is what happens during the two day heat wave we have every year currently it's been more than

two rows yeah but I think what happens is everyone's then like I'm buying air conditioning and then for the rest of the 350 days of the year when you don't need it you're like I've got a fucking massive air conditioning unit just like taking up space in my tiny London flat where am I putting it I hear that but I'm not talking air conditioning unit that you stick out the window I'm talking is it time to have people come no is it time to come drill into your walls and put aircon in the building there's like famously no room in the wall for that to happen in the UK. That's why it's not.

Famously. Famously. Yeah, I'd say you're playing it faster news with the word famously. Famously am. Yeah, I haven't you seen the billboards? Tiny, tiny cramped walls. Yeah, okay, but I'm sure there has to be some room somewhere.

I'm thinking I'd give up a bit of space. Well, I'm guessing it's because the buildings in this country, many of them were built before Aircon had been invented. So when they were building them, they weren't like, and we must, of course, leave space in case someone invent. air conditioning. Well, in case the fuckers were in the planet so bad,

I say the fuckers, the people building these houses were also doing the damage. Yeah, this is during the probably industrial revolution. Yeah. Big dam. Okay, well, listen,

I'm just wondering if maybe we're getting close to them. Yeah, I think that's the issue though is that you are, it is, at the end of the day, you're looking at a big box hanging, hanging into your into your room on Forch.

But it's just so nice. And you can't buy a Dyson fan because Brexit. Is he pro Brexit? He's Brexit. He's Captain. I'm glad I didn't know that when I got my hair. Your air wrap.

Did you see that? But I do feel badly about it now. Did you see that tweet or was it I can't remember what like social media was on where this woman had put up a picture of she's holding, she's in her living room holding a dice and air blade hand dryer and been like my, I've told my boyfriendly well I wanted a dice and air wrap for Christmas and he's bought me this. No. Yeah.

Why are men... How do men get girlfriends? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. It's remarkable. How do they do it? It's remarkable. I did a gig.

My first gig back the day in Soho, Walton, it was a gorgeous time. But I was speaking to this couple in the front row, and I was asking them, like, you know, it was this, like, this gorgeous woman from South Africa and this lovely man from Chingford. And I was like, what did you fancy about him? And she was like, it's perfect.

He has a beard. No, that can't sustain you. That sustained five years. she wanted a beard he had one the end I was like fuck me maybe she was speaking metaphorically though oh perhaps you mean his beard is like some sweet boy called Alan

or she's the beard no he's her bit he's her beard I don't know okay no I think there's too many layers here isn't yeah maybe she might have just like beers look at us doing the work we're like in this heat we're like waitresses when they see a gay couple

the amount of people will be like oh my god sisters housemates, colleagues, cousins, co-workers, pen pals, went to university together and you're just like, keep going. They're like, needed to see, to share a table. What's happening? They'll just say, we'll do all the, it's astonishing. It's astonishing.

Okay, so you have a baby. Are you well? Yes, yes. Okay. We've never done this before, by the way, you and I. Yeah, and I was thinking about that on the way here, and I was thinking because we are, I feel like we, both we provide the same

um function in our respective podcasts go on birthday girls house party in case you haven't listened to it's my it's very fun it's very fun one of my favorite podcast ever to guest on oh you were fantastic we did a hair episode for you of course we did um uh completely forgotten what was saying what was it you were saying that we oh we're the same function yeah so we performed the same function on our podcast in that we are like keeping numb skulls on the rails and I say that with love Helen is one of my dear dear friends Beattie Camille my best friends yeah but numskulls all three okay and our job is to keep this fucking car on the road yeah it is weird being like huh everyone's popped their seatbelts on yeah we're both

sitting in the front yeah your head's in the car and I was like yeah and yeah um And so who's gonna, who's gonna, who's gonna, like, slip into the chaos role, do you think? I imagine our guests today would be pretty good for that. I think, yeah. I think she's a fairly safe bet. Pretty reliable hands actually for that. Yeah, that's true. And I think she has the potential to do like double chaos to cancel out our double.

I do, I concur. Yeah, I agree. Are you doing Edinburgh Fringe? Absolutely not. Good for you, girl. No, no, no, no, no. one not doing it in 10 years. My question is this. It's an unusual one for Hogs, but here's my question. What the hell do you do in August? What could I be doing? What could I be up to? Okay, we're going to go to the Lido. Would you like that? I'd love that. I'd love that. Which one? Well, my nearest one is Brockwell, but I can travel. Fabulous. I've not been to the Lido. I'm not in Edinburgh, but I can travel. I've not been to Brockwell. I travel either. Yeah. Fabulous. Okay. So one goes to the Lido. We're going to go to the Lido. Whenever, whenever I'm not in Edinburgh and I feel antsy because of it. I'll pop myself to the lido

and I'll just be swimming along and thinking and you just feel so much better that you're not in a just a humid sweaty shipping container performing your

like comedy that you've put your soul into to a half full disinterested audience of people wearing fleeces oh why does the ladder sound appealing to me what's wrong with me why am i so broken i do miss it i do i do miss it but not enough to do it and i think i need to find a way to enjoy given i'll probably do it the year after i need to find a way i don't want to spend the whole of august being like fomo i want to be like i had a year let's enjoy it also what you will realize is that edinburgh when

you're there feels like the whole world yes and then when you're not there you realize it's not the whole world. I can't even imagine it, but okay, I'll try. You've got to have such a nice time. I'm excited. What else is on your list to do? I'm so, I'm like, I haven't been in London in August. Any suggestions?

It's your birthday. It is my birthday, but as is 13th you. Nice. As in true comedy tradition, I have always done comedy on my birthday because of Edinburgh. This year I will be recording my radio show. But, yeah, that weekend, that weekend I might fly to Canada to see Ellen. Okay. Hello.

Is that crazy? What I'm doing in August? I just got no, I've got no idea what to do. I'm flying to Canada. But just for a weekend. For a weekend. That's even crazier. It is crazy, but it's the only way I'll get to see my girl anywhere near my birthday.

But that's, I love that. She's in Toronto doing a secret top secret acting job. Not so secret anymore. Yeah, I guess I told you that she's doing it. But that's all I can say, but pretty cool. Yeah, nice. But yes, it's Canada Day today, by the way. Happy Canada Day.

To anyone listening, it'll be too late. Happy Maple. Do you have a lot of Canadian hoggies? Oh, we have some for sure. I hope they're having maple syrup on pancakes right now. Yeah, great. Good morning to you. I've learned about one country this week.

Yeah, well done. Thank you so much. I'm not my strong suit, so I'm internally panicking here. Don't panic. There's nothing else to know. There's no exam. Everything's fine. I know capital.

And I would never ask you, Ontario. While M does the Canada research, just, you know how good acting jobs, you're doing an acting job was how nice, fun, like, stress-free in many ways. Now just imagine that you have a child and like the contrast at home between, or like, no, the contrast between being, or like, no, the contrast between being, on the set, like how much more the delight is magnified. I can only imagine. So I'm doing an acting job in September and October and I honestly, August I don't care. I'm like I'm just, it's going to feel like a holiday.

I'm going to get picked up at like 10 past five every day and just be like, A.m. by the way. Yeah. And be like, this is bliss. This is, this is luxury. This is style. Will you get to sleep away from your home? I know you're not allowed to say hope so but no yeah yeah I have um the thing is the the studio block is the other side of London to my house yeah so if I'm last up and then first in I will stay in a hotel have to um because the producers said but I have to do that because they're making you do that M capital of it's Ottawa Ottawa I should have to okay that's

It's the first time hearing of Ottawa. Same, same. No, I knew it was Ottawa, but I should have known. Well, no, Ottawa is in Ontario, so you were kind of right. But also, just as we were talking, I was like, it's Ottawa, isn't it? But then I didn't say it. And now I feel like a fool. But also, my entire experience of, and this isn't that, but of TV quiz shows is pointless.

Have you done it? Saying the wrong answer to things I know the answer to. Oh, no. I under panic, I just absolutely lose my, I lose my mind. Have you done pointless? Yes. How did it go? Not well.

And you? No, I've never done it. But the thing is, I have an ongoing campaign. I think Richard Osman has a vendetta against me. Oh, are you guys beefing? Well, he doesn't know. But I get me on House of Games. I've had a campaign for years on our podcast.

Let me on there. Richard. Please. Are you a coward or will you let us do Pointless together? Please. I thought we'd fucking, we would smash Pointless. I think you'd be very disappointed me. No, I wouldn't.

I wouldn't. I'll support you on anything you say. I think you might. Would I be doing a lot of this face? Really? That's such a good. It's fine. That's my favourite.

It's such a niche thing. It's like the people, watching the people who are with the people on Pointless who say the wrong answer, just trying to look like they're absolutely fine with it. I was with an author who, who I'd never met before and he did not look fine with it. He was like, stuff like. He'd won three times before.

Why was he back? Why was he back? I can't get enough. Yeah. But yeah, Richard Osmond, if you're listening, please. I'll honestly smash that shit up

in a good way. Yeah, okay, I was going to clarify. And also, God, you'd have a whole day away from the baby that you love. Mm-hmm. Your baby, your life that you love. Yeah, this is the thing. It is just, it's lovely, but it's so nice.

I mean, when they're not with you. Yeah. And then when they go to sleep. Yeah, I really, that's okay. I think that's okay. I think more women should be saying this, honestly. Oh, 100%. Because, and the worst thing is when, like, a woman of a certain age will come up to you and just

be like, enjoy it. Enjoy it. What? Because it will be gone really fast. And you think, yeah, you can say enjoy it. because your kids don't live with you anymore. You're living the life of Riley. Yeah.

I've, this is, you're saying this to me at like 8.35am when I've already been to two parks. What? Yeah, and like done a full shop. He's had, you know, you're saying enjoy it. It's not enjoyable.

Yeah, what are you talking about? How can you say it's enjoyable? Yeah, that just doesn't make any sense. And all the stuff that he likes to do is not fun. No, what are we talking? Well, just, you know, driving a truck around the floor, this kind of thing,

building a tower. Snoze. Really boring stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like chewing keys, this, you know? Yeah,

I probably shouldn't let him do that. Oh yeah, I guess that's on you. Your bar goes down. You're like, hey, he's leaving me alone. He's playing with a lot of knives, this guy.

It never fails to shock me how often like, parent friends of mine will be like, yeah, we have a party at nine. And they mean, mean like 9 a.m. on a Saturday morning. I'm like, what the

fuck are you talking about? Yeah. Like, yeah. That'll be done by 11. Yeah. The party will be done by 11. Yes. Mind blown. Hell on earth. Because you have to get home for nap time. If your party goes too late,

you risk them falling asleep on the way home. And then nap time, aka your only breather during the day, is ruined. So this is why the party. parties are early. But like you'd recommend it or... What, an early party?

Parenting. Yeah, yeah. Yeah? That's the mad thing. Everything that I've said is awful. Yeah. But yeah, I would. I would.

Because... It's like, you know, that sense of achievement you get after doing something really challenging. Yeah. Like, say I ran a 10-K. Yes. it's like that a lot a lot you it's really hard but it's very rewarding that's a real cliche but it's true no no that's i'm just like would i want to run a 10k every morning and afternoon that's the issue yeah fair fox well done but but but if you yeah and actually you know then i'm thinking oh yeah

would you would if you got a run as high maybe like four times a day but in parenting it's not that frequent the parenting highs it's not that reliable for and they're unreliable yeah and there are yeah some crashing lows but also but also I think

what's a couple of keys swallowed between exactly but also I think with having a very with having a small child I'm very much now I'm kind of like like I've said I've kind of now accepted the new reality I'm not in denial anymore and I feel like I

objective enough to see that it's like this the specific hardness of this bit is temporary because there are specific hard things that have finished yeah and so I'm like he is a cool little dude even though he does bully my husband and I yeah like he is a cool little dude and I you know that's yeah that's fun yeah that's also to be clear they're so cute and nice yeah that's the thing and that's where you kind of yeah you don't and say because it sounds so cheesy but they are really really cute they look at their tiny tiny faces and hands yeah that's sweet that's nice and like just stuff like he learned to say he learned to say sit down when he now every time he sits down he goes sit down and honestly that

sounds i mean yeah now it's actually made me feel quite depressed that it's like that's just the highlight that's like the best thing that's happened to me in weeks it you know what it's about perspective had you finish that story through with confidence, I'd be like, oh, that's so cute. It is cute. But yes, you self-reflected it, and then I thought, gosh, is Rose okay? And it's tripsy.

But it's like you sort of, yeah, like I said, when you've got a very small child, you're sort of in to not, you're like, you're like, it is simultaneously, very, like, overwhelmingly, really hard and difficult and really nice.

And there's also this thing where you're like, I sort of simultaneously, I'm embracing my, new life but I'm at the same time very strongly mourning and missing my old life but again it's like you'll get that you'll get to do those things again I'm going to be crashing around Soho hammered in a few short years a hundred percent ideally in August when I'm free

yeah yeah but we can do that because the thing is it's my birthday too so I'm going to be banking I'm a very important producer you're meeting yeah and in a way you are that's true hogs yeah he doesn't know that Yeah. Do I do anything practical around the show? No, but still, he doesn't know that. He doesn't need any... Okay, great. Okay, great.

Yeah, perfect. Okay, well, on that note, should we bring on another precious baby angel, baby girl? Please. Okay, everyone, please welcome to the podcast. Olga Cork. Yay! Yay! Yay!

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And here's a little something extra. Head over to olive and June.com and get 20% off your first mani system with code perfect manny 20 at olive and June.com slash perfect manny 20. That's code perfect manny 20 for 20% off at olive and June.com slash perfect manny 20. You're all set for a nail glow up. Let's get those nails looking fabulous, shall we? welcome olga cock yay yay hi how are you i'm very good thank you so much how are you we are envious of your bob in this heat has the neck breeze is it delicious it's good but i do need to do a

360 sun cream so you know oh swing some round about exactly wow you cannot have it all jesus christ is tough out here um how the hell are you well i'm i'm thinking a lot about SPF and it's a constant sort of no no no it's me too i'm glad to hear someone finally say it's the thing is you need to cover your entire body and so sometimes i'll strategize and be like i'll wear a sleeve because that's less coverage sure for SPF and more coverage for clothes but then i'm sweating yes you are but then if i'm wearing something strappy i need so much SPF that i'm constantly reapplying and it's just it's i'm just not applying what babe babe babe babe not funny not funny actually what are you talking about i give you a tube of SPF i won for

free at British summertime, I'm just going to give it to you. Okay. Because I have unlimited SPFON. We are currently indoors, so I think I'm good. Yeah, but we're going to go back. I went in the winter. But this is another problem with having a small child. I don't have time to put my own

SPF on. No, no, no, no, no. But then you get melanoma and die. Yes, well, I know this. But what am I? How can I? Why, that was such an extreme reaction. No, but this is also what I'm thinking. But I just, because I'm literally only thinking, but babe, you're going to age so. You have to be a lot. Yeah.

No, it's always my thing. Your child's going to have an uggo mommy. Yeah, he might as well. Yeah, I just simply just, just did not put it on this morning when I left the house. He's crazy. He's covered in 50 from head to toe, of course. I guess your palms are covered then. Yeah.

And what I'll say is, you could just be like, ah. What I will say is that I, with my complexion, just simply, it's not like, an option. No, I burn so fast and I burn so seriously that there's no dick in a rounder that I really have to get on me. Do you want to hear a very embarrassing SBF story? Always.

As you know, recently I was in Tennery for 11 weeks for an acting job. Oh, we've heard. Yeah. So, ahead of it, yeah, you better have heard. I've been telling you. So, pre this, I think, you know what I would love to be? Because I never get burned and I have tried pretty much every SBF and I'm going to a sunny country. I

would love to be an influencer for SBF. It feels like the right niche for me. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. I contacted a lot of SPF brands. I know, we're talking about. No. Not even like Solterre.

No one. Sorry, no shade of it. No one. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Isn't that tough? Yeah, but I also feel like I can see their point of view, which is you've got, like, it's all or nothing with SPF.

It's like, oh, no eagle band yes that's true and I also feel like they might have just looked at my thing and be like you've like 80,000 followers and you're a comic role why would we but then it's like sun cream is no joke come on I love it right we'll be the right don't be messing around yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and I'd love it I'd love it but my god oh yeah I guess yeah you could be sick burn so much good stuff in there yeah really good stuff what what okay so what would be your brand recommend yeah what do you have several but now i'm now keeping okay yeah well believe about now i'm so angry because i'm like i'm not going to endorse

somebody you're right when and additionally sorry to be a real skin bore but have you heard of yucca the app yes oh but people are so boring i know what i love it's sorry to say i'm boring okay it's this app where you can scan stuff food and specifically specifically well no I don't care about food I don't use it for food someone's sponsored by yaka I use it for anyways apropos of nothing have you guys heard of this apple I fucking wish I fucking wish no but you can scan like deodorants or sun creams or face creams or body creams or shower gels or whatever and it'll tell you if the stuff in it is good for you yeah but I mean I don't want it if it's not bad for me if a deodorant doesn't have aluminum in it's not

going to work I don't care of just crystals I do ultimately agree with that I put it all over under armpits in between thighs let's go I'm practically a tit man right now. No, I do hear you. So, okay, well. But what's the SBFs do you use? Well, I use, she doesn't want to say. I really don't want to say.

No, I will tell you. I use Thank You Farmer, which is a Korean brand. Oh, my gosh. Really good for day wear, very cheap and very good for like, it gives you a real glow. Love that. If I'm going to go out in the sun all day and I really need like high coverage, I'm sorry, but I'm still a P20. girl. I fucking love P20 for like, I'm not going to be in danger and I can go in and out of the

water. I have a cucumber scented guise, something that I can't remember the name of, I should check. It's so good. For body or face? This is crazy. So good. This is amazing. Rose, we're going to hook you up. Shishato, delightful for a quick dry. It depends what you want out of your sun cream. If you want your skin to look gorgeous, then I think, I think Korean brands are really good. Yeah, I do. Beauty of Jocene. I tried all the other ones. I know that it's like the viral one, but it's viral for a reason.

It's very good. I tried other viral ones. I don't care. Beauty of Jerusalem. Yeah. Face and neck. And then body, sorry.

I don't know if they have it here, but I buy it in these states, Hawaiian tropic just because it smells like SPF. It smells like coconuty, banana. Oh, it smells like a vacation. That's such a good reason to do it.

I love that for you. And then it becomes an occasion. Then you're like, I want to smell like that. So then you sort of put it on. Just the thought that's going into it. it's absolutely fantastic. You guys have heard of...

You can't guarantee coverage with spray. I do agree with that. You guys have ever heard of Aldione brand? Because that's genuinely what I have. Fine. If I can't sling it in the trolley as I'm flying round with a yowling toddler in my toe,

it's not going to. I think that's fine. I actually think kids sun cream, whatever brand is generally really fucking good. 100. Well, yeah, because it's not too stingy. And it's like, why don't you just make all sun cream?

cream like that. And also they wouldn't risk things with this is what I feel. I feel like they, it is like block because yeah, they're not fucking around with kids skin. And when you're on the beach

and it's your body, you don't care about white cast. You don't give a shit as long as you're protected. Yeah. But yeah, the, yeah, highly recommend. Macura.

Shout out. To be fair. Alde, if you're listening, we'll talk. Somebody's good dupes. They have the soldier general like all of the dops.

All of the smells. Yeah. Yeah. And they look exactly the same as well. I have no idea how they're legally doing this, but it's the same shit. I do love their Joe Malone

hand soap do so good the pomegranate not really is excellent they do they do pomagranet brune

yeah it's so good fake noir yeah yeah really they're getting away with that legally they got sued by

MNS though for Cothbert the Caterpillar okay this is what I think they're doing first of all I don't know

how much of packaging can be legally patented right like you can patent but you can probably patent a formula or copyright a name but when it comes to like a shape of a bottle unless you're like actually actively putting the sketches into like a patent office i don't know where that's going number two i don't know if you've seen uba butler's amazon documentary i think they're registering all these offices in like unreachable countries or countries where it's not a law we're like oh you're suing oh it's the the amazon one it's really really good i don't think i've seen this but basically i think they're probably is it going to make me feel bad for shopping 100 people not going to watch it okay fair enough But yeah, I think you just registered the company that's sued somewhere where, like, oh, we don't have that law. Okay. This is me just guessing. I have no idea.

But they got done for Cuthbert. I think. Sorry, what is the Caterpillar called? Cuthbert. Come again? Do you not remember this? Cuthbert the Caterpillar. That's their version of common.

Are we saying Cuthbert? Yes. Have you never heard of the name Cuthbert before? Yeah. is an objectively mad name if you've never heard it before i've never i was like sorry come sorry cuthbert yeah and what i like about that is that they've they've they've gone for like an even posher sounding name is that like the benedict of cash-a-pillows yeah wow cutty is that where bertie comes from i think more that's it could be anything bert

Albert, Robert. Burke could be anything that ends with Bert, surely. But Cuthbert, yeah. You're being, I have to Google. Do you think we're joking? I...

Do you think Aldi invented the name Cuthbert? Okay, I'll put my phone down by it. I'm like... I promise. I wouldn't lie to you. Cuthbert. Catherine and Cuthbert.

Oh, God is hell. Why did it? It feels like Cuthbert. It feels like a... Actually, the more you're saying it, the more it is like... THB is wild. THB is wild.

Yeah, right? You get it. right yeah yeah it's giving um it's giving um it's giving like canute it's giving like old english vibes you know it just feels wrong in the mouth egg but all these yeah yeah even eggbird i can get on board with more than cuthbert cuthbert it's not easy to say especially cuthbert the caterpillar it's a mouthful but listen we're talking about them this is why they do it this is why they do we plug it we plug it away they're getting publicity what does your kid ask for for for for a for birthday kick.

Is it a comfort of the cat? As an ALDI regular. Nothing less. No, he can't talk. He can point, surely. Yeah, yeah. He would want something, he would want like razz,

something of raspberry. Ooh, okay, so like a more afresh singing. This boy can eat, we're talking, you know, your square raspberry punnets that you would get for, you can eat one sitting.

Kids are obsessed with berries. And the thing is, it is bankrupted me. That's what I was. I was genuinely. you're going to say that which is like crazy because when you watch them pound a lot of them you think that was six pounds yeah well not if you go to aldi of course no but like babe we get it make it less obvious you and hot food are in cahoots

yeah well because they're nature's candy yes they truly are well this time of year I'm in the pocket of big berry clearly in my yeah I'm loving berries at the minute everything's delicious now then Olga let's try again because the other night Olga and I gig together And her and her now, fiancé, we're there. And I was like, what up? Tell me the story. Let's see the rings. I'm so excited.

Yeah, please. And I ended up feeling somehow like I was forcing them to get married. You guys were like, oh, like, seriously? And I was like, yes, I'm so excited. But you were like, yeah. We're very, very excited. Okay. We're very excited.

I think we just like, we have done a chunk of, like, like telling everyone the story. If that makes sense. So you're sick of it. No, no, never. Not for you. But it is something. I think it's novel to you, but it's not novel to us. I was like, what is this dead? I'd stare. I'm getting. Because we were sort of exchanged glasses like, which one of us has taken this one? Do you know? Yeah, yeah. Of course. No, that makes way more sense to me. And I'm happy it's that and not like you're like getting married ironically. No, no, no, no, no, never. Very sincerely. Very earnestly and sincerely. This is so sweet. Can you make it fun by just adding in a new small untrue detail every time you tell the story.

That's fun. Two truths and a life. So we're rocking out of all. When you tell the story to us now, can you include one untrue fact? And you have to guess what it is. I'll let you guess because I've sort of heard it, but obviously from an unenthusiastic pair. But Olga's going to give it socks with one fake detail. All right. So we've been together for a couple years now.

Fake. I'm sorry Oh, they're single Oh, he's a virgin He's a virgin Sorry No, but go on He's a real man

And you definitely met him A real man But then we've been friends For years before And then we had taken Road Trip That was fake men and women Can't be friends

Bair Poned So We had been We've been doing American Road trips for like three or four years now. So we had planned another road trip

for just the two of us. Usually we go with our friend Emily, who's the best person in the entire world. But this time, I had a wedding in New York. We were meeting his family in Orlando, Florida, and we're like, okay, instead of flying, let's just drive. It's going to take a four to race across the world. Exactly.

With money. Four or five days-ish. So we were driving. And also, we've been talking about getting engaged for ages. It was like, it was something that we were like calling each other, husband and wife every day. So it's like, no one is surprised. And basically, I kind of heavily hinted that,

that would be a good time to do it because I was off the back of my Australian New Zealand tour. I would have not seen him for seven and a half weeks by then. So it was like after a long pause and then we were going to end the trip meeting his family. So it's like, for the first time. Yes. Oh, no, loads of times. And so we drove for four or five days and we were visiting one city that we had been to before. So I knew that it was going to happen on this trip. Everyone asked whether it's a surprise. I'm like, I gave him four days to do it. I didn't know which one of the four days. So yes. In a way, it was a surprise. I guess, as much as it could have been.

But I had bottoming from the top. Yay! And so I thought it would be in that city that we'd been to before because it would be like, it was one of the cities we went to when we just started dating. You've got memories. Exactly. But he did it the day before in a city we've never been to before. What city was that, please?

That was Charleston, South Carolina. Nice. It was on the water. There was a sailing boat. It was just gorgeous. And I thought we were going on a booze cruise because he seated in months before, being like, hey, everybody in Charleston does this cruise. Do you want to do the cruise? And I was like, I don't know the cruise.

In my head, I'm like, we're taking a boost cruise with a bunch of people and it's going to be a party boat. Yeah. And then on the day, he's like, we should probably get like a bottle of something. And I was like, oh, is it not going to be alcohol there? He's like, I don't think so. And I was like, how many people are coming? And he goes, just us.

And I was like, oh. Okay. Go. Getting my nails done. And earlier in the day, he was like, it might be cold in the evening. So you might want to wear something nice. And I was like, I. you said this yesterday but like those two things don't make sense in the order that you said them

there's there's not a relation yeah my favorite oh it's freezing please let me put on my jewel yeah I'm so cold let's get formal and I did and my favorite bit was he was wearing a cross body bag for the first time in his entire life I was like I didn't know he owned one I was like what's with a MERS and he goes and he's like oh I just don't like it when there's um when there's an outline of the phone in my trousers and I was like what you're talking about an outline of a phone what do you he's like no phone outline i don't like that and i was like i the first time in his life that's so funny yeah okay and then so we're on the boat we're applying aldi sunscreen and then he and then he that was the lie yeah yeah and so

basically i think he's waiting for the sun to set because it's not setting yet yeah and so we're buying lots of time and then as we're the height of summer it's a lot of summer it's a lot of Yeah, we waitin. We didn't wait. It was a three-hour long, long. You're close to genuinely close to Midsummer's Day. Yeah, that's mad. Two hours in, I was like, oh, I don't think that's going to happen.

Everybody's fucking drenched. Also, because it's a sailboat, there's not like seats or anything. We're like completely sunken into bean bags. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Sorry, just rewind. You said I don't think it's going to happen as in the sunset. No, no, no, no, no, the proposal. Two hours and three-hour cruise.

I just don't think this is going to happen today. You know? It's Mids Amar. And so, we're, we're, we're. We're sunken in two beanbags quite far away from each other. And every now and then, because it's a sailboat, the captain keeps moving the sail. So we keep going like, the last few years of my life, I've been the best of mine. Yeah.

And then basically it hasn't happened yet. And then the sort of second incumbent and captain person, because there's two people on the boat, comes up to us. And she goes, do you guys want to hear fun facts about the bay? And we're like, we'll hear fun facts about the bay. She goes, do you know the pilot, pilot, pirate black beer? and we were like, we know about black beard. Sure. Not a good guy.

And I was like, she goes, he once came here. We're like, cool, cool, cool. And he took all of his men and they took a bunch of people hostage because they all had syphilis, his crew, and they needed medicine, but they couldn't pay for it. So they took all these people hostage in exchange for syphilis medicine, which at the time was mercury. And we're like, we're enough, we're good.

We're good on the fun facts, okay? Oh, my God. Getting engaged in syphilis Bay, you're well. That's so cute. That's nice, sexy. And then when he got on his one knee, he didn't realize that we'd be like rocking so hard. So he was in a full lunch.

No, I came at that, I wish. And the entire time, like, he got down on one knee. Yeah, it was really cute. Wow. And he quoted, like, various text messages that we've, like, sent throughout our lives. Because I don't know if you know this. We hooked up in 2019, and then I rejected him. No, we hooked up in 2019.

I rejected him, but I was too scared to write the rejection. So rejection was written by my best friend and your very good friend. Charlie Dinkin. But then Charlie Dinkin, two years later, hired him to work for her company. So this one woman was behind the scenes of both rejecting him and accepting him, and he had no idea. She's a copywriter.

She's very good at writing all kinds. Exactly. She's very good at writing all kinds. She wrote a really good rejection. Did you pay her? No, she's a best friend. She's on retainer. She's on retainer.

She is on retainer. Okay. But yeah, she rejected him. And then two years later, she was like, do you want to come work for a company? that's so why i think it's so funny um okay and then he so quoted her rejection in in the proposal does he know that she oh yeah oh very good i think that's hilarious that's very very very funny she made it she did it really good first of all i think she's rejected loads of people on my behalf she's really

good at break up text if you guys need a breakup text charlie dinkin reasonable rights so she did a really good one with him she did a really good one where she like all of the blame was on me where i was like i'm in a crazy mental space i'm being erratic like you don't want i'm better bad news you don't want this which also I think I don't like that because it's like no you that's not a reason it's like well I'm marrying him now so yeah so fantastic but I mean do you know what I mean if I received that I'd be like yeah but if you really wanted me it wouldn't matter if you were mad that's true that's true also I'd be like that's so sexy clearly it worked I'm literally engaged yeah yeah yeah so she did a great job I think but I remember she once wrote an amazing

rejection to another guy that was like so oh god i wish i could read it to you right now it was just so vicious but so like it but completely impenetrable like you couldn't point anything out and then i think it ended with something like i'm good and he was like i'm good as in like you're good let's hang out again or i'm good as in like you're good and then i just went you're good oh my god she's good she wrote all of it and i just kind of copy and paste it but it was just like it was like a movie i had never seen anything like it before she's a wizard she's amazing And also just the, the, I didn't, like, I didn't know that it was a possibility to outsource this kind of stuff. I know, right?

I've been an idiot doing it myself. Thinking about things and situations and stuff that I'm like, I could have got someone to handle that for me. I think John from sheep's rights vows for money. You can outsource everything. I don't think this is a secret. I think this is like, maybe you ask him, but like, you can outsource fucking anything, guys. You can get someone else to fuck your husband too. John are from Sheaves

And I would have to get a husband first Oh, Jono from Sheeps Okay, good to know Okay, well listen That was a phenomenal story I think we can say the sun cream was probably the giveaway But And thank you for telling it to me

enthusiastically because you know I am excited for you and I love your husband to me He looks like what I hope A future son of mine will look like A beautiful redheaded boy Stunner will you get married soon or are you going to be long engagement people no I think we're going to get married next fall so like September 2026 fingers crossed but then I think sometime in the next six months we're going to go to Vegas just the two of us great sexy sexy that would be my advice would yeah just do it do the wedding that you want to do do not be swept up in the wedding big wedding machine yeah yeah yeah Because, yeah, when we got engaged, I said, I would like to go to a registry office and then, like, hire a pub.

Because I did not want to organize a wedding, please. And then my husband said, well, fiance at the time, no, I think we should have a big wedding. I just think it'll be really fun. Guess who had to organize that? And then found it so unbelievably stressful. No, I think Vegas is so sexy. I think it's so sexy. And then I think, like, a party.

And I'll wear like a short country dress. Yeah. Love, love, love, love, love. When we go see a magic show after? Are you kidding? Yes. Okay. Well, we have fun. We have fun.

Olga Cock, do people come to you for advice? It's a crazy question to ask you, but nonetheless, I have to ask you this because we were about to give some to our listeners. But the answer is yes, because you have a whole brand of bad advice. Yeah, it's explicitly bad. Do you think you can change your tune for today? I think you can give some nice. I can say do the opposite.

I can end every piece of advice with opposite day. Don't do that. Sike. Okay, great. Well, I feel like people do come to you for advice, though. You're a wise soul. I try. Olga's really good if you want to...

I hate doing this. Please. Consider the other person's point of view. No, I have no interest in that. No, me neither. I want someone to validate everything that I'm saying, even if it is too range. But she somehow does both. Somehow Olga's like, you're right.

And also, what if? And you're like, God, damn it. She manages to do both It's very impressive Also you're like Who I would come to for business bitch Yeah I gotta get that money

Gotta get that money guys I'm good at that yeah Yeah Okay great Well in that case Let's have a problem I'm excited Do you have one for us M?

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Hi, who here loves when their nails are perfectly done? me I'm Sarah Gibson Tuttle and I started Olive in June because let's be real we all deserve to have gorgeous nails but who wants to spend a fortune or half their day at the salon and that's why I created the manny system so you can have that salon perfect manicure right at home and guess what the best part each manny only costs two dollars yep you heard me two dollars no more 30 40 50 dollar salon trips that eat up your day now you can paint your nails whenever you want wherever you want and trust me, you're going to be obsessed with your nails and everyone is going to ask you, where did you get your nails done? And here's a little something extra. Head over to olive and june.com and get 20% off your first mani system with code perfect manny 20 at olive and june.com slash perfect manny 20. That's code perfect manny 20 for 20% off at olive and june.com slash perfect manny 20.

You're all set for a nail glow up. Let's get those nails looking fabulous, shall we? hi hogs a quick but tricky problem from me wait who's this from this is from f hi f hi f um i've only just discovered the show and would love to kick this down the line for when i eventually catch up uh i 33 year old female have neighbors both 42 whose son 21 has just moved home from uni we started talking out the front the other day and i hadn't seen him around before and he was really funny sweet and kind um maybe I was overly receptive to his niceness because I've been burned by a few men in the past but I really did feel it really did feel like a different connection anyway I pushed all that aside

but he clearly felt the same way because next time we saw each other he invited me for a drink I said yes in a fluster but now I'm feeling unsure I'm closer to an age to his parents and it feels odd to pursue anything with someone that young but I do think I really like him

I could also be way off and he may not be interested and has just been kind but I'm at a loss with what to do do I befriend but boundary him be cold and kill off any silly ideas or just say fuck it and see what happens how old is F please recap

F is 33 the neighbor's son is 21 the neighbors are both 42 you have such a beautiful voice yeah you could listen to all day I'm scared to start with you but we'll begin with you thought I'm leaning no

and this is huge for me it's huge for me she's a grown up woman who is she what not what I expected from you I do love a younger man I'm marrying a younger man I'm very very into older women younger woman younger woman it is just

older woman younger man you mean what did I say other way around oh fuck that I'm not into that it's opposite day sorry yes opposite day opposite day it just feels oh god she's just already taking it too seriously. Do you know what I mean?

Like, I'm fine with you being like, wouldn't it be fun to be like fucking crazy and like fuck this 21 year old? I'd be like, yes, yes, yes. But this girl's like, I think we have a connection. No, you don't. You don't. Yeah.

You simply do not. And it's like you can't, because the thing is you're going in taking this seriously. And I can't help you because 21 year olds can't take anything seriously. Because the thing is even if he genuinely puts all of his effort and like good heart into this, it's still a 21 year old effort,

which is not good enough. Wow, I think that is incredibly insightful. Sorry. No, I think it's good, Rose. Completely disagree. You want to fuck the 21-year-old? Fuck the 21-year-old. She's talking about a connection, girl.

Yes, but I think what she's... Rose wants to get jackhammered. Yes, please. Okay, okay, background context, not particularly, you know, I would find it hard to turn down something that I thought was a... genuine connection if I wasn't in like a long-term relationship because I'm not being I I mean I don't

know the context F might be overwhelmed with offers but she says she's been burnt I would find it difficult to turn down I think she's bringing up the connection because I think the seriousness is because she doesn't want to she's like she can see the potential for awkwardness if it goes badly so she's the connection she's bringing up in the context of like then he will live next door I don't think it's like yeah i love him she's i don't think she's saying i love him i think she's saying like i know this is like on paper a terrible idea because he's younger than me and his parents live next door but i think she's just she's just stating the fact that look i want to fuck this guy bad can i just say something really really and i think she should go i can't because i don't know

if you've seen the latest with bridget jones remember yourself of 21 the level of fucking cruelty, 21-year-olds are capable of simply because they don't have it, but they don't know what other people feel like have not learned anything. He will break your heart to fucking shreds, okay? He will cheat on you in front of you because he simply does not know better.

You're not ready for that kind of pain. Can I make an offering? The humiliation of it too. My thoughts are, I'm very torn between the two. Here's my feeling. It's hot as fuck. I get why he's sexy. 21. The fact that he immediately showed an interest in you, wow. I

would be like loins ablaze but if you did not live next door to his parents go off absolutely fuck the 21 year old but you do live next door to his parents do not do this it will be the greatest mess in the history of time best case scenario you guys have a meaningful connection sorry and his parents hate it because you're the woman who lives next door who's closer to that and they're like and then you have a really complicated relationship with your neighbor mother-in-law. Catherine, you can move.

You're going to have to move, by the way. Oh, yeah. Okay. The caveat to my advice is you've got to move. You have to sell your house. You definitely have to move. And the very likely scenario is, I'm sorry, but the idea of that sex is going to be so much hotter than the sex, which makes me think, the answer is obvious.

Whank for days to this boy, he's right there. You're always going to be inspired. Go off, get off. By all means, it's like the gift that keeps ungiving. I'm into that. But the idea of it is so sexy. The practicalities of it and the probably likelihood, like actual sex of it will not be worth the catastrophe that that would be. Don't do that.

Also, maybe like a hot makeout search because it's forbidden. And then you leave and as he's trying to fuck you, you point on him and you laugh and that gets you off. That's sexy too. I like that. Oh, yeah. Oh, did you think we're going to fuck? Yeah. But like, again, Olga, we're coming at this from very different place.

for me always the other person in that scenario so i find that very triggering but but i also feel like maybe yeah bad times but i also feel like you're talking about your husband right now no oh thank god i just like jesus no but i also feel like maybe my perspective is um it's like a reaction against because my mom always she has some my mom has some like deranged advice um when it comes to romance she once said to me just at proper of nothing I think we were just probably just you know at home having a cup of tea she just went

never marry a younger man because you'll get old lose your looks and he'll leave you for someone younger and then we just went on with her day had she ever been in the situation no I think she had one

boyfriend before my dad called Wadi Cartwright shout out to Ronnie Cuthbert of X-Oxas. And he gets brought up as this kind of like mythical sort of like... Damien in our house. Damien. Damien and he had a moustache.

Yeah, I know nothing about really car. Right. But in my mind he sort of looks like Dennis the Manus. I don't know why. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I think maybe my advice is there for being clouded in like a way that I want to rebel against what my mum said.

I want to be like, fuck, no, do it. fucking who cares I would be with you except that she lives next door absolutely not yeah I'm sorry but and also

you you clearly have not dated younger men because I've dated so many younger men that I'm just like bitch don't that's interesting I've dated younger women though almost exclusively apart from one notable exception but yeah

I would say they will ruin your life I guess so maybe don't but it's so sexy but I also want to say to F as well don't what I would like to pick out is this

the thing where she said maybe he's just being kind he's not being kind but he's asking someone for a drink he's definitely flirting with you and wants to fuck you yeah but don't do it take the compliment

Rose's like to do it but no because okay let's just think about it three weeks in he's never going home because he doesn't really want to live with his parents. He's still deciding what he's going to do with his life. Eventually, he is leaving your village.

Don't worry. But in the meantime, he's staying at your house all the time, acting like he lives there. Because he feels like he does because he lives next door, except you're not his mom. Except suddenly you are his mom. There goes all the sex. Just have a nice wank, enjoy it. The only thing I would also say, maybe have sex with him once well. Because I'm scared that this generation is just addicted to porn and someone needs to have sex with them like in a normal way.

It can't be social outreach. He's still looking for. The thing is, though, like. yeah not today he lives next door no I just think you don't

when you're older you're not going to be like I'm so glad that I didn't sleep with that hot 21 year old oh thank God I have that memory of not sleeping

with that hot 21 year old you're going to be like yeah fuck the 21 year old yeah I have to move to a different country but now look at that brilliant life

I lost my house, sure. My thing is this though. Everyone always says it's like you never regret the things you do and you do regret things you don't. I disagree. There are so many people I regret sleeping with. Like a sheer, like I'd say a good number of people I regret sleeping with.

And if I could take it back, I would. Names. If you're listening, it's you. Yeah. Like broad spectrum of genders, I regret sleeping with several people. It was not good and it brought a lot of misdemeanor. and it wasn't worth it and I feel ashamed.

Yeah, there is that. And I just think if you like your neighbours and if you like living there, do not fuck with it. Don't do that. I think if you do it though.

She's definitely going to do it by the way. She's a hundred of a one. She's done it. She's done it. She's done it. And this is going to be awful. You're going to think this is also even more chaotic advice.

Keep, just keep it a secret. because A, then no problems with the neighbours and B, hot, it's hot. Oh my God, I forgot about the windows. Thank you. But just like, don't be kind to him. Don't be kind to him. This kindness isn't going to go anywhere.

He's not going to be grateful for you to be, for being kind to me. I agree with you on that. I also think it keeps it hotter and it keeps it rarer, which will also make it hotter. But wait, I forgot we could keep it as secret. This is what I'm thinking. This is a secret. I've been doing stand up too long. I'm like, wait, you could not tell anyone.

The parents don't know, and it's making it hotter because it's behind their back. but except if Julia is older. He's fixing your washer. It's Romeo and the nurse. Yeah, yeah. No, he's coming around to like help you figure out your router because you're old so you can't do it. Yeah. Oh my God. That's nice.

Okay. I'm back on board. Actually, now you've just said that, my younger brother used to go around and do so much work on our neighbor's router. And I do remember thinking, like, they've got to have it figured out by now. Was she a single woman of a certain age? No, no. Was her husband away? No.

Was she away? Was the husband there? No, I mean, no, this is mad, but it's got me thinking. Wow. Well, that was phenomenal advice. I loved that. Thank you, guys. Would you have time to do a second problem for our listeners?

Okay, we'll do it in the extras. Guys, give it up, please, for Olga Cork. Oh, where can people find you? Thanks for having me. You can find me at rock and rollga.com. That's www.w.w.w.orga.com. I'm Colga 300 on TikTok. Coga 300 on Instagram.

I'm probably in a city near you. Do you live in Norwich, Manchester, Lisbon, New York, L.A. Then I'm coming. Tallinn? I'm also there. Oh, I love Tallinn. So fun. Okay, great. And Edinburgh, will you be doing it?

I will be doing two weeks of Wittes. Where? Oh, the train. February Voltaire. She's got to figure out. vine free fringe uh monkey barrel this year monkey barrel is cabaret voltaire wicked very exciting oh god this is great come what's the show called or is it just called whip i think it's called excellent who's to say well they can find you around who's to say i guess that's up to you really

um right join us in the extras for another problem let's hope it's just as sexy wow i just want to say on behalf of me on behalf of katherine on behalf of vangrew on behalf of them on behalf of the world, I guess. Thank you so much to our executive producers and our producers. Let's start with the execs. Do you know them? They're sexy as fuck. They're hot as shit.

It's Guy Goodman, Simon Moore, Stephanie Catracea, Oliver Jago, Anthony Conway, Neil Redmond, Angela S, Sadie Cashmore, Sarah Deaking, Anda, Amanda McCool, Amanda McCall. I can read your name, Amanda, please let me read it. Charlie Weems. Weems. weems weems you can say weems as much as you want

I will always try a different go for it and then obviously our producers we don't forget lest we forget our producers L Richard Bold Harold Van Dyke Tim and Dom David Walker Rachel R Claire Owen Jones Sarah and Molly Ria Fink Cordelia Rachel Page Helen A Tina Lindsay Amy O Reardon

Abby Woff Matt Sims Luke Bright It's Jam Rainbird Have I missed a row? I need to follow this with my finger. I have Leah, Kate, Liz Fort, Tass, Anthony, Clow, Becky Fox, Dean Michael, Sophie Chivers, Chivers, Carrie Soothe, Suthy, Sothea, Charlie A, KC, Jam Rain Bird, Tamsin Smith Harding, Ezra Perrigan, Bryn, Laura Pollock, Leah Overin, Stephen Chicken, Haley Singer, Dougie Robertson. I have not struggled with reading that much in a while. I love that you always crack up at Stephen Chicken.

He's a lovely, lovely guy. And I bet, I bet, and I love you, Stephen Chicken. It's just, it's, it's, it's so funny. Yeah. It's so, I really hope that they have a partner and I hope that's their surname is cow, so then they can be cow and chicken. Do you remember that TV show? Yeah.

Thank you for your support. Mom had a chicken, Daddy had a cow. Please don't cancel your Patreon. We appreciate you. Oh, don't need you. You mustn't, no, don't. You please, thank you, love you, bye. Right across America, people listen to the Tony and Ryan podcast every day.

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