Trusty Hogs - Ep197. SUNIL PATEL / Sofas, Skodas & Saint Cans Day

Episode Date: July 31, 2025

We couldn't end the pod without having some old friends back in the sty, and especially not without a visit from Helen's long-suffering ex-housemate and podcast favourite Sunil Patel...FOLLOW SUNIL: @SunilPatelSolutionsHOGS MERCH: www.trustyhogs.com/merchThank you so much for listening!Support us at www.patreon.com/TrustyHogs for exclusive bonus content, merch, and more!Trust us with your own problems and questions... [e-mail] give us a follow @TrustyHogs on all socialsBe sure to subscribe and rate us (unless you don’t like these little piggies - 5 Stars only!)All links: https://audioalways.lnk.to/trustyhogsSNThank you to our Patreon supporters...EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Guy Goodman / Simon Moores / Stefanie Catracchia / Oliver Jago / Anthony Conway / Neil Redmond / Angela S / Sadie Cashmore / Charlie WeemesPRODUCERS: Elle / Richard Bald / Harald van Dijk / Tim & Dom / David Walker / Rachel R / Claire Owen-Jones / Sarah & Molly / Raia Fink / Cordelia / Rachel Page / Helen A / Tina Linsey / Amy O'Riordan / Matt Sims / Luke Bright / Leah / Kate / Liz Fort / Taz / Anthony / Klo / Becky Fox / Dean Michael / Sophie Chivers / Carey Seuthe / Charley A / KC / Jam Rainbird / Tamsyne Smith-Harding / Ezra Peregrine / Bryn / Laura Pollock / Leah Overend / Steven Chicken / Hayley Singer / Dougie Robertson / Chris G / Aisling McGlinchey / Julia Rose / Paul RichardsonWith Helen Bauer (Daddy Look at Me, Live at the Apollo) & Catherine Bohart (Roast Battle, Mock the Week, 8 Out of 10 Cats)FOLLOW HELEN, CATHERINE & ANDREW...@HelenBaBauer@CatherineBohart@StandUpAndrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, listeners, meet Russell. Hey! Russell just launched a fitness app, and he needed to get the word out to busy professionals looking to stay fit. So I turned to ACAST. I used their smart recommendations feature to easily find shows that talk about health and fitness. Booking sponsorships through their platform was a breeze. And just like that, my app was in their ears during their morning run.

Sounds like a smart move, Russell. How's business looking now? Sweat is pouring. And so are the installs. Spread the word about your business with podcast ads on ACAST. Start today at go.acast.com slash advertise. Hello, trusty hogs. It's Catherine Bowhart. Every single Thursday, the end of July, through to August, I'll be recording an episode of my new radio show, season two of TLDR, Too Long Didn't Read. You can get tickets on the internet. You can skip the cues for the free tickets by putting in the code news hogs, news hogs in capital letters. We have still got tickets going. and I would absolutely love to have the hogs there so please come along and I'll say hi after

and I am urge you to do it quickly thank you what's up it's helen bower a couple of things for you number one I'm at the Edinburgh fringe 320 20 20 at monkey barrel we got there in the end with a show called bless her and that would be lovely to see you at the fringe and then I'm going on tour all around the UK and then I'm going to like Berlin I think Oslo now and Switzerland, somewhere like that. And then if you want to not pay for a ticket but see me do stand up, subscribe to my YouTube page. Thank you and good bless.

Good bless. God bless. I like good bless. Good bless. Hello, lovely hogs. I, Andrew White. I'm also fringing and touring this year. I'm only doing two weeks at the fringe with Young Gay and a third thing,

28th of July to the 10th of August at Cabaret Voltaire 835 every night and then I'll be touring all over the UK in November at standupandria.com, thank you. Hello and welcome to episode 197 of trusty hogs. Yeah, last week was a lot.

If you haven't heard it, listen to it, then come back to us. We're not addressing it. We're not addressing it. Are we not? We're moving on with our lives because we've still got three more episodes after this.

So welcome to a normal hogs where no one's got any feelings about anything that wouldn't be a normal hogs at all okay i've got feelings okay and hold on to them because it's the podcast about our perfect lives i'm katherine bowhart she's helen bowen bower i'm helen bower your top is um naked through the fog step forth the trusty hogs yeah you're gonna give me your problems and they will solve them or maybe they won't and that's your problem they'll have guests and Andrew White on the tech Oh, it's Helen and Catherine

As the trusty hugs Trust the trusty hogs Or maybe not You love it I love it so much But like I am making full eye content With both of your tinnies I went Gen Z

I told you last week I was gonna wear this I guess when you said last week There was Gen Z that were tied with bows I guess I thought it like tied with bows But really what it just sort of does is like, it's tied, but also it's open. Ding, me, me, me, ding. Boob alert.

I've got my tits out, okay? If you're not on the video, why aren't you on YouTube? It's, um, I went full. In my seat, it's like, it's full tit. It's full tongue. It's very sexy. I also never have my arms out. And I realized, they look awfully. I realized I just don't have any tops like this.

And now I'm like, oh my God, this is the best look ever. Because also, I don't think the sun has touched tops my arms in ages. This is all I wear is. arms out because it's so freeing. It's so freeing, but apparently I'm in the phase right now where like all the paws on the top of my arms that haven't opened have opened for the first time in years and it's like the spots are like, we're here. Oh, you can't see them at all. Wait for it, wait for it. Can you not see them? I think this might be one of those things where it seems like a big deal to you, but to anybody else you'd have to be so close to notice.

I couldn't work out if they were, I had to ask someone if they were spots whether it was from the ground on the premiere end that I was walking. Or heat rash. Or heat rash. But honestly, you can't see it from here. I have got. so hot recently. Like, I've been overheating. Yeah, me too. I think that's possibly it. I had to wear this PVC suit for filming all the way around my head, all the way over my body. Oh my God, that's horrific. Sorry, that's so warm, but it's just made me think of the fact that... It was bad. Well, I bet it was, but also, why were you wearing a PVC suit? For an episode, for a costume. Okay. Okay. Well, last week I did a corporate in Manchester. Yeah. And as I was just telling you,

and it was to promote a hotel brand, which is a brand that is an Irish company that I like. nice and ultimately was a great job for me to do for hotels and it was one of those jobs

where you speak to the general public I was like interviewing people and genuinely left the day being like the general public are delightful

like every single one of them was such a dote and I was like fuck this is it was such a nice like do you know

when you just need to be like reminded that people are good yes and it was bangor after banger after banger

it was just like ledge bags all day I was like this is so nice yeah I've been with Irish people lately

I was just like so heartened. It just was one of those days where I was like, oh, everyone, like most people are good. We are better in the summertime. It just was really nice and good for my heart. But on the way there, I got off the train at Manchester Bicadilly. I have to drink some water because I have a dry throat. Ew, I cannot abide a woman with a dry throat. I don't know why.

One of the most disgusting things to me. I'll say it. A woman with a dry throat makes me feel sick. She gives one blow job and now none of us can have a dry throat. road, are you fucking getting me? Too completion. Make sure you always say too complete. So people know

they did it to completion. Speaking of which, I get off this train in Manchester Piccadilly and the walk to the hotel is via Canal Street. I'm heading down there. That's the Gay Road. Indeed, it's last week. The weather is, I think at this point in Manchester. 50 degrees Celsius.

It was 31 degrees Celsius. I'm walking down Canal Street and it's some sort of latex rubber night and Andrew's on his computer. he's not really giving me any reaction as I'm finding astounding because it's like

this is for you it's a latex night 31 degrees on Canal Street and walking down the smell is enough to make me homophobic I'm like

sometimes the weather is just like okay we're switching it off how I just change like it's a shame what's the smell oh like cheese string it's like

it is cheese string it's like hot plastic it's like you can smell crotch swamp it's like so specific

and I'm I'm like, get it, boys. I'm so here for you, but also, like, surely there has to be a threshold for the weather where you go, you know what? I always say, leather fetish. You know, like when you sit on a leather sofa and you're on like belt bones? I always say that. In all fairness, he has, if he doesn't always say it, how come he's got a tattooed across his back in Sanskrit? No, I believe it.

In Sanskrit. In Sanskrit. Lever should be a seasonal fetish. He's always said it. He's got a tattoo in Sanskrit. Okay, well, I do think that I think that's right. I just think, like, furries and leather. you're going to have to make that seasonal because it was too hot for it.

I'm sorry. The straight people were gawping, which I found very annoying, but I was with them. We do stare. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

This is the second episode in a row where you can counted yourself back in the straight club. Oh yeah. Anything to comment on that? No. Okay. Still don't know. That's fine. It's just I just noticed a thing that happened last time you referred to my straight and my gay.

Oh my God. And I just thought like, interesting. And that's fine. These things are movable feasts. I was just checking in. if it was like that you did one job, one blow job to completion. And now I'm like.

And now you're back in the gang. I don't know what I am still. That's fine. It'd be so nice to know by episode 200. It would be so wicked. It's just confusing because you also have your arms out, which if I may, quite gay. Is this gay? Because this feels very nice for me.

Oh, it's beautiful. But it's like, it could be straight girl goes to brunch, but it could also be like, femme girl gets her arms out. Okay. Oh my God. I don't know. think about it. Because this outfit feels great for me.

Yeah, it's great. It's like, I think it appeals to men and women. And to myself. Sure. You don't think it's fun for me to look down and be like, what the fuck? I always forget that you are the person who you're trying to sexually, like, sexually attract. I'm dressing for myself.

It's so great. No, no, but no, we're all dressing for, I'm dressing for myself. But I love that you are often dressing. Oh, I'm dressing for myself on in a way that I find so impressive. I enjoy the fun of the risk of this. Like, every now and again, I'll look down and one of them would be undone. And I'll be like, oh, no. And also suddenly really enjoying people's eyes wondering again.

Of course. Like I know like we're not like eyes are up here but like usually I'm like, yeah, I'm down there. You've never said eyes are up here to me. You're always like, look at my dirt. You want to see them. I've got a hole in my bra. My eyes aren't that beautiful, but my nipples, holy shit. Get down there.

Holy shit. What a pair of nipples. Yeah. It's astonishing, isn't it? You just kind of know your brand. Look in my knockers. Never look in my eyes. Yeah.

I'm like, turn me around. Look at my ass. I promise you that's the best bit. You've got such a nice dumpy. Thank you. I really do. It's like a lot more else than you'd expect for my little frame.

Now, more importantly. More importantly. I didn't know when there wasn't really inappropriate time last time because we were made sort of like announcement for me to give you gifties from Tenerife. Now I didn't know if you were doing Magnus in your new house. Why does everyone keep saying? Yes, last night, Neil O'Rourke was like,

are you still on your Maggie phase? Because I bought your Maggie. It's like, what do you mean phase? Like I'm sick of this. Oh, I didn't. buy your maggie because I didn't think you'd bring them to the new house. Did you bring them all to the new house? I bought like a magnetic, two massive magnetic strips from the internet and stuck them to my fridge.

So I've got like a wall of magnets that also works as a whiteboard. I'm not joking. And I've literally, it's been so fun. I've got sections. That's like good for a shopping list. Yeah, well, I write messages to Nathan on it. Like last week I was like. I went practical.

And he writes messages to me as well. It's really nice. But I wrote a message to him saying, don't worry, Nathan, I'm here with a smiley face because the last couple of weeks I've been away all week and I haven't seen him. But now it looks like he's had a breakdown. Don't worry Nathan, I'm here.

That's nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you loving living in the flat? I love it. Yeah. I love it. So nice. I love it.

So nice. It's so cool. Well, the other night I was over myself and I was journaling and I had music playing because I've all my, oh, this. is something that's crazy. Okay. Really rediscovered Ed Shearron. Okay.

Didn't see that coming. 2025 is the year of Ed Shearin. I don't think that's right. 2025 is the year of Ed Shearin. I cannot get myself off the plus album. I think we've figured it out, by the way. We figured it out. Talk it off.

Yeah, straight. You knew, Andrew knew. It's straight. I love how it's like, oh yeah, my sexuality was a phase, but my magnets, they're immutable. I was born this way. You can be gay for a season, maybe. But like, the magnets, that's who I really have.

No, but seriously, I agree. Is that homophobic? No, but the Ed Sheerin is straight. Yes. And a beautiful singer-songwriter. I'm afraid. Now, that's a talent. Wow, you're getting more heterosexual as you speak.

Do you want your gift or not? Yes. Is it a magnet? It's not a magnet. That's okay, because I already have a tennon-wief magnet for when I went there years ago. A huge relief for everyone involved. Instead, I was at,

Okay, so in... See a lip balm. In... What is it? Tenerife, they had the, they had the, like, a Spanish sort of equivalent of French chemists

in the sense that, like, they all sell makeup and so I got you guys lip bams, yes, and you. Andrew, your one is... The gay Liposan. Oh, thank you. Oh, my God, I love Leposan.

Did you get me the cherry shine? I got... No. This is why you ruin everything by asking in advance. No, we don't ruin. I love it. I got you the Disney Moana.

Shot your whole mouth. Thank you. Oh my God Marianna's going to die I just realized it has the price on the back That's crazy 2 euro 75 This is mad

Jesus Catherine I love it I love it thank you so much I'm so glad you like it And Moana's making a little heart With her fingers I'm dead Is your sister not answering the phone to you No

What the fuck That's crazy Is she? What the fuck? Whoa is she okay Wait Is she? Is she?

Hello? Hello Hey, look what, look what I just got. A puppy? No, oh no, you're about to be really disappointed. It's a Moana lip balm. It's a Moana lip balm. Is Moana?

Yeah. Wait, how come you've got it? Catherine bought it for me. Why? As a gift. Oh, okay, you're not happy about that. Never mind. Sorry, you thought it was a puppy, huh?

That's bad. I'm sorry. Are you working? Yeah, okay, I'll call you later. Bye. Do they have a hay-hay one? Do they have a hay... Do they have a hay-lay one?

Oh, I don't know. No, we don't know. Has she seen Elio? Have you seen Elio? Not yet, but I really like the advert because my little brother had a patch on his eye when we were growing up, and I really want to see it. That's nice.

Yeah, well, if you see it, you can realize which traffic term is held. Because Helen is glordon. Who's Gleodon? Right, I'm hanging up. Which one's that? We've had a couple of chats about that and she's not supposed to be saying it. What is it?

My fucking dad went to see Elio with her and in it there's a character that's this fat, spiky, thick slug and it's because... God, they're mean. And immediately it's like, who's Helen? Glordon. And then it's awful.

It's awful. Because I remember my brother and I was like, this is upsetting. Like, they're not supposed to be doing it. yeah please make it stop like we've got to tell marianne that i'm not glordon and he was like it's really tricky though helen because in it glordon is so desperate for love and attention it was mental how much is like you and then i watched the advert and in the advert glordon is like trying to get his dad's attention is like dad daddy daddy i love you and it's like

me trying to connect with my dad to the point where it's like yeah okay fuck it i'm glordon but she's not allowed to say that because we're working on not saying mean things okay yeah you missed them when you were away katherine that's tough that's tough because that is tough i see what she's going go on andrew there was a face time call um from uh marianne and you immediately answered and you're going if this is about the puppy it's gone i'm at work now and she just went no why and they're like mid-screen we hung up but wait sorry why did she think you had a puppy because where i've been filming the last week there's been a lot of dogs around okay not like in the show just like just like around on the set and i send a

pictures of every dog I see. Yeah. So she thinks that, like, I don't know why she thinks I'm getting a puppy, but I'm not. Which means that that was awful when I was like, guess what I got? She's going to be like, a puppy. And it's like, no, a lip balm. But watermelon sorbet barbam. Oh.

Oh my God. You know what it tastes like? Watermelon sorbet. Literally, though. Watermelon ice cream in Rome, circa 1999. Wow. I'm so much. Very specific.

Andrew, does yours taste like cum? that would be no because it's pride for all so it could what's a sort of um oh you think there's a meaningful distinction between the taste of women and men's come i guess there probably is yeah oh my god and moana's on the fucking thing as well yeah it's cool right i love moana i know i love her i know i know i want to see elio so bad i want to see eleo too because both ellen and i had little brothers with patches on their eyes no you did not yeah so it's so cute peter henry and harry so cute it's so cute It's so good. It looks really, really good.

My whole family went to see it, but I couldn't go because I was working. That's really sweet. That's a week ago. Yeah? Yeah, Ellen would go as well. Yeah? If she ever comes home.

Yeah, if she ever comes home from working. Actually, Ellen 100% would because she came to see Paddington with me. Yeah, I think that she would. Andrew, what does yours taste of? Just a neutral lip balm. Neutral? No, neutral. Yeah, yeah.

What? That feels homophobic. It feels good, though. Okay, fine. So we do an episode on homophobia? No, you're not leading that. You know, my new podcast is going to be me tackling homophobia. Amazing.

I'd love if you did a different bigotry every series. Helen Bauer and racism, Helen Bauer and homophobia, finally, the straight white women. Would listen. For as long as it was on the air, which would not be long. That's weird that I said I was straight though. But maybe, like, we still don't know. We were talking earlier that we think I'm demisexual still. If it feels weird, maybe that's an indicator that you're not.

Yeah, but it didn't until you pointed out. then that felt weird. I really need to start figuring this out. Do you have, 34, man? Do you have the ladies on your hinge? I haven't been on hinge in like three weeks now. Just even to say that, by the way, that's like so not long. And it used to be like three months, three years.

I know. But because I'm crushing in real life, like for the first time ever. Like, I'm crushing on people and being like, oh my goodness, like giggling. Yeah. Like trying to flirt, which is so. Cute. I'm so weird at flurking. everyone's weird of flirting but I'm like everyone's so weird of flirting everyone is like

you promise I promise you I was so like rude to Ellen even though like I also like wasn't letting her out of my side so it was like just like a mean girl following you around and then eventually her friend outside was like what's going on with you too and Ellen was like understandably was like I don't know I think we're fighting and I was like we're not fighting we're flirting Ellen just hasn't noticed yet and Ellen was like huh fuck but then she was happy but you know like I was mad

people are mad I'm bad at flirting too it's like everyone's that's a weird style but I think it's all down to this top mine's bad I think the top will do a lot of work so I'm like I don't have to fly it if I'm wearing a top I do agree I do agree with that I 100% agree with that yeah yeah like I totally get Gen Z now

I went one trip to big Sainsbury's saw this top in the Stainsbury two collection and I was like... And that is where Gen Z are shopping. Wait a second. Am I in my early 20s? And I can say for certainty that it's not millennial women. It's definitely Gen Z girls who are shopping at Sainsbury's, right? Is it?

I mean, I did. I don't know. Are you being sarcastic? I am being sarcastic. I think the women who do the big shop probably aren't Gen Z. I went with Sineal Patel because I cried. Because you know why. I was in the fucking group chat with you. I went to Hercules that's musical on the wrong night.

Did you leave the group before? that happened. No, I didn't leave the group, but I didn't understand what was happening. Did you actually go on the wrong night? Yes. I said to this, the, like, the production that I'm working on, I was like, I had, like, I gave them two non-negotiables. Emma Black's wedding and Hercules is a musical. I was like, everything else in the diary can be changed. Helen, you went the wrong night. I got the wrong night. So I got my never said. Oh, it was awful. And I left set being like, fuck all of you. Zero to Hero. Here I come. I made.

Everyone say, what are you seeing tonight, Hercules? And I went, honey, you mean Hunkulees. It was bad. I made a big scene. I get home. I get on the bus to go into town. And I'm messaging, like, Olga and Charlie. You obviously couldn't go because you're in Tender Reef, but you're in the group because

originally you were coming. And I was like, meet at this time outside the theatre. This is in the morning. And they were like, yeah, yeah, 100%. But they were clearly thinking, but she means for tomorrow. She means for tomorrow. Yeah. And then I messaged being like running five minutes late to turn the corner.

I'll be late for like what we said we'd meet, but I'll be early for the theatre. and they went for tomorrow though and I was on the bus and there was a hog behind me but I didn't know she was a hog she messaged me later being like I feel really awkward I was actually behind you in the bus

you looked at my tapestry and I was like I literally did because there's a woman doing tapestry and I was like Of course the hog was the one doing the tapestry we are never not making the one seven six the creative girlies who listen to this podcast

I swear to God everyone thinks I'm joking when I'm like if you want to find a hog in the room just look to see who is knitting who is crocheting now I'm adding tapestry I love it so much It's just so wonderfully easy.

You're like, is anyone in here making clothes, wearing clothes they made themselves? Yes, those are our girls. Okay, but circle back, sorry. So I had to get off the bus and then I went, don't is so awful. And then I had to like turn and I was so excited and I also knew like I couldn't go the next night. I was desperately, I messaged the like team and they were like, because I had to stay in Watford the next night. Like there was just like, I mean, it's not too far, but it just, I couldn't get there for show start. And I was like, I've got to let go of this.

I've got to let go of this. And then I was on the bus and I was like, I think I was also really tired, and I was so excited to see it. I crossed the road from the bus, was going back home. I was like, it's okay, I'll go to. There's a really cool, like, Asian supermarket in Elephant and Castle called, like, Kiki something. And I was like, oh, my God, I really want to get one of those Korean jelly teas. Have you seen them?

They're glass jars, and it's like peaches soaked in honey, and then you just pour hot water on it. It's got, like, a bit of oolong in it. It's so good. You keep them in the fridge. And then I went to Sinell Patel's because I was like, I'm going to get off the bus early and get some attention. Then he was like, do you want to go Big Sainsbury? And I'm like, yeah, because everything's gone wrong.

Oh, my God. You can tell you are emotionally really unregulated. My period was late. I didn't get to see Hercules. So I went to Sinal Patel for comfort. Yeah, that's a dire straits. But wait. So he took me to Big Sainsbury's because that makes me feel happy and I bought this top.

But wait, how did everyone react the next morning when you came in? Were they like, how was Hercules? Yeah. And I was like, do not even. Do not even. Because it also came at the same time. black bought me tickets for my birthday to Hercules as a surprise and then I guessed it obviously because I'm the worst friend ever you do have to ruin a gift I ruin everything why do you do that

because I'm I'm a bad I'm not a nice girl I don't think that's the answer I'm okay I'm bad I don't my patient's not good yeah but it's so my patience don't good Andrew but the other person but the other person has tried so hard to get you the gift you I know I know I know Rista's the same I can't allow someone to have their moment. I hate it because it's such a shame because you're like, oh, I've really put all this effort and I really want you to enjoy the moment. Let me have the moment to give it to you.

I guess. Does it make you mad? No, I've sort of accepted it now. But it's either you overguessed and there's going to be disappointment or you get it bang on and it's like, oh. Yeah, you ruined it either way. Actually, Neil did that yesterday with the, let me see. I do this to everyone.

I'm not, I'm sorry, everyone. But wait, so was everyone, did they last? in your face when you didn't get to go after all that posturing? Yeah. Yeah, but then Emma Black changed our tickets to September. Oh, she's good. Yeah, she called up the box office. So wait, you just show up, but worked the next day and say what?

No Hercules for Helen. Oh. No Hercules for Helen. Helen have to wait until September now to see Hercules. Was everyone gentle with you? No. Have you been to the balcony for Rachel Zegler? No.

Because I haven't been in town. Well, like, what algorithm are you on? I don't understand your internet algorithm. It's an international news. She's singing, no, you can't right now because quite frankly, you're ignorant, you're ignorant, and it's so, it's embarrassing.

It's genuinely embarrassing at this point. Rachel is singing, don't cry for me Argentina outside of the palladium every single evening. And it's like, you don't even care. Also, can I say this? I'll say it. I'll fucking say it.

Thank you, Rodrigo, because you fucking on the right algorithm. For a show called a Vita. Is she in the show? Yes! Okay, but why is it outside? Oh, do you remember when Sunset Boulevard did their walk around? Sunset Boulevard, seven characters in search of an author.

It's done many times over the years. Can the people from the inside see what's happening? I agree I need a minute to do it. No, sorry, wait, Helen, why are you leaving? Because I hate the ignorance on this level. So, Jamie Lloyd did the production of Sunset Boulevard, with Nicole Shirt Singer. Very stripped back, very black and white.

And there's a scene outside the theatre with cameras. Opening of the second act. Opening of the second act. and Tom Francis If you're going to do it Why aren't you just here? Don't look at me And the people in the theatre

had it on a big screen But it was outdoors It was like a bit of novelty Since then Jamie Lloyd has incorporated the cameras into every single production And seemingly he's allowed to production every three months

But that's my own opinion But anyway, for Avita He's doing the same thing Is he connected to Andrew Lloyd? No, but this is the second Lloyd Weber production he's doing So there must be something going on So he

So then what? She goes out to sing this on the balcony which people can see from the outside, but it's also being filmed for the indoor people. Correct. So it's like a metaphor for like Ava Peron speaking to the Argentinian people. It's not really a metaphor.

It's like... Okay, swap again or do the Ava Peron history. No, no, no, thank you. It's nice to look at the eyes. Hey, nice to talk to you about. So good to see you. Thank you for informing me. So back in the day in Argentina,

Eva Peron was going out. She got like married to the president of Argentina, right? And she was the voice of the people, seemingly. She wasn't really. She did theaters play about her? No, but I've listened to a podcast about it. Okay. Can I answer a question that you asked me earlier?

Yes. You asked me what algorithm am I on? Yeah. And have I got news for you? You guys. Is that have I got news for you algorithm? No. You guys, recently, I went onto Instagram because I was feeling very bad about my body.

And I realized that it is a place that makes me feel horrendous about it and that I have curated, not curated, but like accidentally ended up sort of making it thus. So I went on to the section in settings where you can decide which words you want to ban. Which words? Weight, weight loss, fitness, like strength, food, diet, all the ones, all of the ones I put them on. And first of all, and then when I was in there, it gave you this option to restart. basically like clear your preferences, which I didn't know you could do.

I didn't know you could restart. You can basically clear your preferences. And Instagram has become a different, happier place for me. You want animals? No. I'm on engagement rings. I'm on lesbians. I'm on current affairs.

Wait, you can get lesbians without strength. Yeah. Okay, I thought that was funny. Weak, hashtag weak lesbians. Whispy girl. Lesbians picking up day. crazies. Whisp be lesbians.

No, there's still women. Lesbians drinking from straws. I didn't block arm wrestling. I just, you can still get lesbians on there. Or axe shopping. None of that's cut. But yeah, you can just basically reset your preferences

and it's so good for my brain. Oh, there's a lesbian, Canadian lesbian I follow who just cuts logs. That's her job? That's her whole Instagram. Amazing. It's one of the hottest things I've ever seen.

Oh my God. Yeah, it's incredible. I love. when you get turned on and you have eye contact with me. Yeah. I love it. But yes. At the eyes down there.

Yeah. She just chops wood and it's great. Can I tell you something very personal? I imagine if you didn't for once. Sineal Patel just messaged. He's here. Oh my God. How nice.

Should we go get him? In that case, I think we can tell the audience. Please welcome to the podcast. It's your old favorite. Sineil Patel. Woo-hoo. Go on and get them. Sineal Patel.

You're here, darling. Yes, good to be here. You're wearing sunglasses and, if I may, sweating a little. What's going on, pal? Just about seven or eight pints or more last night. You had seven or eight or more pints last night? Well, I had four cans in the park. I saw three.

I saw three and I left. I want to be very clear. Okay, you had four. I had four cans in the park for St. Cans Day yesterday. Which isn't a real thing. Celebration. of the patron saint of having some cans with the boys in the park.

Did you make this up or is there a same can? I think it's been around a long time. Bullshit! Neil O'Rourke made it up last year. Helen, please love your voice. Please don't shout at me. Please love your voice. So last year we had the first one,

which was me and Neil O'Rourke sitting in Embankment Gardens until some Balkan teenagers asked us to buy them cans and we had to leave. So that was the first St. Cans Day. This year we did it properly. Did it in Kennington Park.

Invited everyone. Well, wait, they asked you to do with that which the patron Saint would have wished for. There is no, I googled it. Underage drinking. Oh, fine. I googled it.

There is no patron saint of cans with the boys in the park. Okay, but maybe it's fun though. Maybe it is fun. Okay, so then yesterday, who met up? Me, Neil O'Rourke, Eddie Hare, Will Rowland. Nathan Darcy Roberts. Helen Bauer for a bit. Was she invited?

She, it was in the group. It's basically like Christmas, anyone can drop in. Right, okay, okay, okay. Specifically invited by Neil O'Rourke, he had a gift for me and he was like definitely come and I walked to the park and I joined in with St. Cairns Day and even though I can't have cans at the moment

I had a large coconut water. Yeah. Tell me again what the park was. Kennington Park. Lovely. And so you're there and you're drinking what? Four cans of Maretti, Madreie, Brooklyn Pilsner. Good for you. So you're doing cans with their smaller cans then.

No, they're large ones. Just him sitting on a band and bathing. No, what's one doesn't come in a big one, does it? Yeah, we had the big ones of those and the big Madry. And we had big madries as well Did you eat? I saw Will and Eddie get pizza, but did you eat? I had lunch at a big lunch.

Oh yeah, you had your big tie meal. I had a big lunch in Highbury. Okay. Michael Shannon in the restaurant as well. Who's that? Actor. What's he in? Well, we had to Google this yesterday as well, didn't it?

Then why are you saying it to me? Like, I should have known. He's so recognisable. Oh, really? Yeah, but he's in. Man of steel, knives out, eight mile, bullet train. Can I see his face? Oh, yeah, yeah.

Oh, he's very recognizing. But how are you Googling him? Because I'd see that face and want to do a Shazam for faces. That would be useful, very useful. How did you get to him? How did I get to him on here? Yeah. My friend told me that's Michael Shannon.

And that will do it. Can I say something now? Well, no, wait, because I'm just getting the collation of the information here. Sorry. Yes, all it is. So four cans. Yeah. Helen Hans.

Not cool. And then where did you drink? went to a pub next to Oval Station. Right. Had just a few pints there. And then a miracle on St. Cairns Day. Go on. A lock-in.

No. No. No. What? Did you tell them it was St. Can's? We sort of might have. But I think he was more impressed that Neil is Irish. And he was Irish.

So he just locked the doors and he said, whatever you want, boys. And go. What? Heidi was there at this point, right? Heidi was there. Yeah. Do you still have to pay for the drinks? Yeah, yeah.

But it's like, you know. That's still cool, though. Yeah, it was really cool, yeah. So you ended up having like eight or nine drinks? Probably, maybe even more. Oh my God. Bullshit. You've got heartburn and coming in about 50 minutes.

I guarantee that. Is there air conditioning in here? Yeah, but we can't have it because of the recording. But it's not very warm. And you're wearing this great t-shirt. But it's nice and cool in here. It is nice. But you've chosen a colour that shows up sweat, though.

You're not sweating from your pits yet. Don't worry. I actually don't sweat that much from my pits. Really lucky you. I sweat. What is your problem today? What are you playing with your phone for? Why are you being incredulous at everything?

I sweat for my legs. There's some pictures of Seneal last night at St. Cairns Day. Put your phone down. That one coming in at 1142. People at home can't see those. Sineal blackout in a pub pretending to play an air guitar in a heat t-shirt. Nirvana came on. Oh my God, that's incredible.

You've got to. But Helen, off your phone now, please, darling. Please, Alan. That actually is my dream night. You don't have to move. You get to sit down and they're playing Nirvana. Don't mind if we do. Wicked.

So that was a big. day yesterday. And what's under the sunglasses? What do we see? Just my eyes. I will change him. I was just, um, I'm just, um, I'm trying normal dances. He's bought transition his lenses as well and he looks so handsome. I can't wear them because everyone called me a pedo, didn't they? They didn't. Not everyone I didn't. I said he didn't look like a pedophile.

People are cheap and they're predictable and I'm sorry, but those are lovely. Yeah, I look fine. Yeah, you're all right. Look me in the eyes. What? They're normal eyes. You're faded. They're lovely eyes. I don't know what it is. I don't know whether something's changed in your life in the last few months, but you seem to be thriving. Thank you.

Yeah, you seem well. Yeah, it's been nice. You seem like a waddle. I go over like twice a week, so I've got no idea with this. I've got a new sofa as well. Oh my God, of course. Well, first of all, let's start at the beginning. How the hell has it been without Helen?

It's been nice. It's been really nice. Yeah, it's just very quiet. My new flatmate just quietly works in her room. It's just very calm atmosphere. And you've moved into the big room. I've moved into the big room. And has the mold in the old room?

He always had the option of the big room. Thank you, the, it's summer, so it's dry. Great. I've started gardening as well. I've started growing roses in the garden. It's been devastating for me. That's beautiful. The years of me clearing the garden and like putting pots, like plant pots out and then

saying like, I'm going to Edinburgh from London, going to Australia for two months, like please can you just water them coming back in their dead and he's like, I forgot. And it's like we literally didn't because you're out here every morning having a tab. Yeah, but I didn't know about. And now all of a sudden he's calling me up going, oh, have you heard about gardening? And I'm like, you piece of shit. I can't imagine you calling her one time. Yeah, I didn't call her once.

No. Did I? I called you yesterday when I couldn't find the toilets in Kennington Park. You did call me yesterday to try and find the toilets in Kennington Park. And she knows about that kind of thing. I actually do know where the toilets are in Kennington Park. She didn't answer me. Savage.

Yeah. I called you back and you didn't answer because I assumed that was because you were on toilet. No, I'd done toilet by then and you just ignored me ringing then. Well, there's no need then. There's no need then. I was walking over to you. Yeah. Okay, so peaceful.

Very peaceful. New flatmate Heidi Regan. Loving it as well. I love Heidi. Obviously, I also love Heidi. And we get to what she wants to all that watch Jason Stathen films at night. Which is what you want to do. Which is what I want to do as well.

Yeah, but you can't. It's so boring watching Jason every night. Like if he had it his way, we'd watch the accountant and the beekeeper every other night. We watched the accountant two the other night. That was good. I don't know what any of that is. And I also don't care. Go on.

Tell her about how good the film is. No, here's my question. Talk to us about the couch. yes so new couch slightly smaller than the one hell in there I wanted to get a couch that couldn't fit a fully grown man sleeping on it I didn't want people staying over all the time

I really respect that Catherine he measured our tallest friend and went four inches below yeah so it would be uncomfortable isn't that so manipulative hostile environment that's really clever four inches below it's awful

I hope they don't figure out that you can just take the cushions off and put them on the floor I hope they don't figure that out. Oh, you're so smart. Yeah, I would, the extent to which you guys let people stay at your house was astonishing to me. You're so good. People need places to sleep. Yes, but I'm sorry.

Like, if I only had one, like, space and it was the living room and the kitchen, there's no world in which I would constantly be like a stream of men stay there. Which, it was nice, but I think you were too nice to them. This is what we got to the problem is that he said I was too friendly. Yeah, too many teas, coffees, but like making them dinner and stuff. No, Helen. These are grown men. Yeah, I find it too awkward to make myself dinner and not say, are you hungry?

Yeah, okay. Right, okay. Why don't you just get one portion dinners? I find that incredibly awkward. Yeah, okay. But also, like, what is that? What is a one portion dinner? Like a ready meal.

You've seen me eat pasta. What the fuck are you talking? Remember when we had to ban me from having pasta at lunchtime because I'd always fall asleep? She'd always fall asleep. Yeah, I do. And we had to be like, no, pasta at lunchtime. Yeah, I recall. You're like, unwakable in the after.

didn't it? Yeah, I do remember that. But wait, so, okay, so I miss those days because I do miss you and I love you so much, yeah. Do you miss, just wait careful with the hands because you can't move that fast or he will jump. And that's too long a whole thing. She doesn't listen to, she doesn't understand boundaries.

Okay, let go. I do now. No, now. So what is your, what's the thing you miss most about Helen? I think, look me in the eyes. It is probably, you're very good cook. Cook to good food. Thank you.

I miss there not always being milk in the fridge. I knew you weren't buying it. I was buying it. Because you'd always argue back saying like, you would always be like, oh, I bought the last one. I was thinking, you haven't bought milk since 1999. No, but I bought all the tea and coffee. Okay. No, your mom gave it to you.

It doesn't matter. It came through me, didn't it? You wouldn't have it without me. You did say bought tea and buy my mom milk. Hey, you did say bought. Raise your voice at me. I did buy it as well. Once, twice.

maybe thrice total. I just did, I wanted to buy it because you'd buy bad tea or coffee. Did she? She wouldn't buy bad. Catherine, what the fuck was that? She wouldn't get Marks and Spencer luxury gold in all the time, whereas I would.

No, your mom worked at M&S. Yeah, to be fair that's not really the same. Okay, and then I wouldn't be buying that that's too expensive. Okay, so here's my, and what's your, that's the thing you miss the better most. What's the thing you are enjoying most about her being gone? Oh, genuinely, they're like, being able to just like just be is nice and not have like

someone constantly just like trying to get some attention or trying to like cuddle you from behind when you're just like in the kitchen or whatever even though it's been wonders for male mental health I've genuinely I genuinely and me and Nathan have been discussing that me and Nathan have been discussing that

because there is an epidemic of male mental health and I'm aware of that don't speak over the amount about mental health I must do because they don't realize what's happening with them That is mad what she'd done there. And do you think that your friendship has improved for not living together? Yeah, I think so. It's nice, isn't it, Helen?

Because I come over and watch a film and then I can just leave. You don't just leave. You literally, me and Nathan were talking about the other day. You walk in like a cat and you just sit down. You've already got your spot on the sofa. Yeah, but that's because she started doing that. She used to come over to ours after she moved out. And she'd just be like looking in cupboards and stuff as if it was her flat.

So I thought, okay, well, I'll just do that. Looking cupboards. Good for you. What do you make of her new place? It's lovely, isn't it? I haven't been yet. Can you believe it? It's done a great job on it.

Lovely paint job. I can't wait to see it. I can't wait to see the doors. Yeah, it's lovely. The telly, not great. The telly's a bit small, I think. What size? Too small, like maybe 50.

It's bigger than his, and he's really upset because all the boys in our friends group have a bigger TV than him and he's got the smallest TV. I think mine's a perfect. You guys are smaller than they. No, it's absolutely fine. I'm thinking of getting a 55 inch. That's what we've got.

You don't need it. You just need a 15, nothing more. He wants 55 inch so bad. like his dick gets smaller when he thinks about it seems like you're intimidated by the television i just think 50s are perfect size any bigger and it's but it sounds like yours is smaller than 50 no it's not it's 50 at least can i can i please please i'll tell you what senile's really struggling with i'm the hostess of our entire friendship group right like people come over to me i take care of people i like host of stuff he's now lost the person who's doing savage that i haven't been there yet

i know actually that is so sadden i'm the hostess i have everyone over i say i'm moved in and Catherine left for 10 weeks. Yeah, no, that is true. How about that? How about fucking that? That's accurate. But then I was like, shall I come over next week or you were like, come over the week after when I've been hospitalized and I need you to bring me things?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. You were looking forward to that, yeah. I do you, either you or Emma Black, I think I need someone there before I get put under for emotional support. Well, I think probably Emma Black. Yeah, we'll do Emma Black. Yeah, I see.

Me and Nathan will come and pick you up after. Are both of you coming to pick me up? Well, he's taking you home, isn't it? I thought you were taking me home. and then Nathan was going to be at home ready. Oh, right. Okay, yeah, fine. I mean, we're just getting a taxi anyway.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you can't really, I don't want to, you know, I put some kneel down with my emergency contact. You can park outside hospitals. No, you can pick up, though. I guess she won't be, she won't be moving fast. No, no, she's probably come and get me, we reckon. Yeah, I need two people.

It's a two-man job, I think. Excuse me. No, I think so. Someone to get you, someone to wait downstairs. Okay, yeah. Have having a vape. Which will you be, I wonder. Hmm.

I still think, oh, maybe I should just tell Emma Black to take the day off work. Tell her. Maybe ask her. Sorry, I'm a black, I love you, so much. The assumption that everyone that just bends to her will is astonishing. They do. Can I say what I miss about living with Saneal and what I like about not living with him? Yes, you may.

What I miss. What I miss. Oh, my God. Genuinely, so many things. I miss when I feel sad, you go, do you want to go Big Sainsbury's and you drive me there? That always made me feel so much. much better. Big Sainsbury's made you feel better.

I love Big Sainsbury's. I miss, I miss coffee time in the morning, I was tea time in the afternoon, I miss cuddy time, I miss night time, cuddy time. Yeah, that shouldn't have happened. I miss getting tucked in when I'm really sad. Once or twice a year,

she'd have to be tucked in. That's ridiculous. It is ridiculous. It's not ridiculous. It's ridiculous. You know, when you're just so emotional, you just need someone to tuck in and say that night. Well, it's not just,

it's tucking you in and then surrounding you with your soft toys as well, tucking them in as well. Fox sake. Was it Professor Honeypot or something? Sir Honeypot. I have to get Sir Honeypot off the wardrobe, tuck him in with her. That is ridiculous.

As soon as you leave, she's like, no, no, no. Can you get the other, can I have a glass of water? Can I have a glass of water? She always had enough water. Oh my God, he must be so glad to live off. He's fine, he's happy. It's much nicer. He was happy then as well.

What I don't miss. Yeah. Take, no, Teah was piss me off. You're, you're cleaning for Heidi. Where? You cleaned the bathroom. No, I do, but I did that anyway. Liar!

And I've got a robot vacuum as well. Yeah, literally the moment I moved out, he bought a robot vacuum. Nice. Because it's like, we don't have Helen anymore. No, it wasn't that. But you did not clean, you clean the bathroom. I cleaned the bathroom whenever you were away. My turn to talk, Catherine, is actually my turn to talk, right?

Is it my turn to talk? Is it my turn to talk? I think it is. Yeah, go on. I cleaned everything in the flat, right? And he never did it. But I was aware that we would, he was like, oh yeah, but when you don't want to do it, I'll pay for a cleaner. And I was like, I believe that when I see it. But I was also like, I like the procrastination of cleaning. So I'm happy to. I'm not angry

at you. I'm not angry. However, I am angry that suddenly he's decided he likes cleaning and it feels like I haven't decided that. It's too convenient on the date I move out that suddenly he has an interest in the bathroom being clean. That's how it feels. That's how it feels. Whereas you clean the bathroom once when I lived there and I had to nag for five weeks about it. I don't like being told what to do. yeah I'm with you I want it to be my choice that I clean the bathroom but now you have made that choice

and it does seem harsh what cleaning a bathroom no but suddenly suddenly having interest in to the date to be suddenly gardening and to be hovering gardening cleaning buying a robot vacuum I'm not quite done yet

buying a robot vacuum cleaner and also like suddenly like and I really do think this is the right thing I told you about this but Heidi now we've got because it's such a small flat right there's one cupboard for food stuff one cupboard so we have to share

three shelves, right? Had to. You don't leave there anymore. We had to share three shelves. Yeah. One of those shelves was just protein. Just protein for me. That he never has.

That's not true. Never has it. No, because you remember it was a protein shaker. I've seen him with us. Yeah. Why do you have to check it out? The protein shaker. Yeah.

He had a slug in it. I found a slug in it and it had to go. No. It was when we had the pest control. Don't. Please. No. things in the wall that are giving off a signal and all the pests in the house were terrified

and like hiding but one slug found its way into the sink there was a slug in the kitchen there was a worm in your bedroom I don't remember I don't remember I feel sick and I'm glad that you've changed up because that shouldn't be happening at all I didn't think it should be happening either I said that at the time when I found the worm I said this is wrong I think you brought worm in I didn't obviously didn't bring the worm in tell me something that you like about living with Nathan I love Nathan Nathan's a good lad Nathan is a he such a oh what a sweet man Does he like cuddles?

He buy milk, he cuddle Helen But he doesn't like it Well we would We spoke about this I'm trying to emotionally regulate myself better Without having to use my friends To give me all the cuddles Okay so hang on a second

Now she's starting to do that Hang on a second Yeah I do have to say sorry If you're mad about Senil's timing I'm starting to clean The fact that you just started to emotionally regulate Without using your friends The second you move out

Well I think we learned a lot living together me and Saneal and it's time for us to like have learnt those lessons and move on. Fine. Yeah, it's nice. And just one last question and one last check just to be a hundred percent sure. Having moved out, having had some space

from each other, having had some time, looking at each other now definitely don't want to fuck. See, I wanted to, I'd say for the whole three years and I was just lying to myself. Which is not pleasant for me obviously. No, because I was like constantly jumping on top of it. Did you actually want to? I had a lock on my door, didn't know?

But he knows what we, I love. I love. I love him. I love you so deeply. I just think you'd be so beautiful couple. Look at this, pretty... I love you. You're one of my best friends. Thank you. And I would do anything for you. I like Helen as well. She's a nice lady. Yeah.

Aw. So then... Just say love. I love Helen. She's nice lady. I love you. Yeah, I love you. Oh. That's nice. And that took three years.

Okay. You made me say it every night before you went to bed. Oh my God. As part of the training. Yes, training. I did. night night I love you and then I go I love you and I go like I love you and I love you too

and I'm like no no because it's good for people to learn how to say it but whatever is not true you not love me um yeah not yeah I love you so much thank you you welcome that's sweet it can't have been true at the start as a start you must be like this is a bit intense oh yeah it's terrifying yeah it's terrifying

what did you hit first what you're going to I couldn't tell you thank you I'm so sorry Helen for the listener just spilled water over her phone and knocked over a glass a bell and a cup all the same time

so many things just happened How did you do that also efficiently? Was that a shake? What was that? I don't know I think you were about to hit me or something I didn't know if there was a hand coming out intense. I'm sorry. Rodrigo, forgive me. Forgive me!

She's doing a normal accent. Yeah, I reckon don't do his action while you ask him for forgiveness. I'm sorry, no, I want to keep it, I'm sorry. Oh, it's set off in motion like a Rube Goldberg machine. Are we still recording? I hope so. Yeah, yeah. Okay, great. You don't have to give me more water. That's a risk.

Don't give her any more water. I'll just drink out of a bottle. I'll just drink out of the bottle. You know what? Let's remove the glass. Wow, that was crazy. Okay. It's a nice. I'm sorry. It's a nice time to tell Sineal that this is a gift.

Believe, he's on his phone. No, I put my glasses down. You literally got your phone out earlier. Helen, Cam, Sineal. Yeah. Earlier on, a listener, last episode, sent in a gift, and it's going to make you so glad that you don't live with Helen. Oh, right.

I thought it's for me. No, it's for Helen. It's for when she's dick. Oh, that's awful. It's for when she's a post-operation. It says Charles and Diana. Oh, that's, I mean, it's a nice bell, but it's, dreadful that you own it.

Yeah, post-op. That's what it's for, is for when she's calling Nathan. Yeah. What's the plan for the... Are you going to stay with me when we get back to mine for the day? Or...

What do you mean? Well, Nathan is, yeah. Nathan is. What's your plan that weekend? Oh, actually, you're coming the weekend after. What's happening? But I'm coming for, like, a visit, like, a couple of hours.

Are you not taking time of work? I thought you were taking off time before. I'm dropping in for an hour or two to say hello and see your fly. I want to be treated like Colin in the Secret Garden. I don't know what. what that means. I hate Colin. I hate Colin as well. Like fucking hell. What are the spores? I can't bear him. I just think leave Mary alone. But no, I will genuinely just be popping in for

an hour or two to see your flat. Say hello. Yeah, me too, probably. I'll come with you. Yeah. I thought I was going to be. I was going to be. There's an ice cream place opposite her flat. There is. It's really good. She won't be able to walk, but we can go. Yeah, yeah. Lovely. She can actually wave to us from her balcony. I actually can see it from my flat. Well, we're going to be best meets now because Sunil's doing all six weeks of my radio show this summer. So you'll be in Edinburgh and we'll be hanging out every week. I love it when you guys hang out. It's so nice.

It's fun, isn't it? It's so nice. I can't wait to have you on it. I'm so happy you're doing it. Thank you. Sorry, I'm so wet. I'm so thigh wet. That was like a full glass.

Oh, that really is. Full thigh coverage. Yeah. Okay. Apologies. Sorry. But can I just say this in a very loving way? What a year of closure for me leaving Sunil and.

with trusty hogs ending. And I think that's beautiful that we're all here together as we all send ourselves off on our individual journeys as well. Yeah, yeah. Every time you talk about it, it's like one of us is dying.

We're just going to be friends. Like we've always been. I think it's maybe... When I moved out from Sinai, I cried. So I was like, I never see it again. But earlier on, I said to Helen Andrew, I was like, we could just hang out.

They were like, oh, they were like, oh, I'm really going to... We should have a clean bray. Yeah. I was like, guys, they were talking. They were like, we're really going to miss you to them. And I was like, we could just hang and Andrew's like I think it's best that this is a clean break and I was like the period of no

contact as well yeah yeah yeah I think so cold turkey you can't we're in Edinburgh together oh no you will be fine yeah yeah that's awesome I'll take Sineal in this break I'm sorry I'll help her through it you're gonna have you're gonna take Sineal for emotional support but Sineal and I want the same things out of emotional support which is somebody to keep them company but not talk about the thing just bad oh yeah we should stop touching just want to show each other Instagram reals funny ones. And we ideally wouldn't touch that much. Yeah. But we'd have a nice, we'd have a nice

wine. We'd have a nice wine. But I loved every second of living with you and I regret nothing. Okay, yeah. Is that a weird way to say something? It's mad to sort of tag on and I regret nothing. Just to be like, I loved every second and I'll always get back of that. It's like such a lovely period of time where like we had so much fun and I think I learned a lot about

myself and I hope I taught you how to love. Yeah, thank you. It was nice. I like that night when we watched that mega buffet show. That's your one happy memory. That was so good. Behind the scenes of a mega buffet. In North London, it was brilliant. Is it really bad? No, it was incredible. It's just how they fry spring rolls. Fry spring rolls and stuff. Oh, wow, that sounds actually lovely. Yeah. How many spring rolls they get through, stuff like that. Yeah. I'd be into that. It was really good. What was it on Channel 5 or something? It was on Netflix, I think. It was like, you kept I'm calling it secrets of Hitler's

mega buffet. No, I did. It was like one of those. No, it's like one of those sort. No, but I do know

I mean, Nazi megastructures. Can I say something? I don't know if you guys have noticed this. There's too many shows. Who is that that's been saying this to me? Somebody said this to me recently and now I can just only see it everywhere,

which is there are too many shows with the word lies in the title. Big little lies. Little lies. Pretty little liars. But there's a new one out that's like secret little lies or something. It's too much. Maybe there's just too many. TV programs.

No, it's specific to this, Sineal. Or maybe there's too many liars in the world. No, Sineal. And also, guys, oh my God, you guys won't care about this. No, we will. Couples therapy has new episodes out on BBC and everyone messaged me and I really appreciate the hugs

for telling me, thank you so much. But also, we didn't watch that. Queer ultimatum is out, which you also don't care about. We like the Appointus. Christ, okay. Yeah, I do as well. Yeah.

And race across the world. Do you like the Lancaster Bomb? Dam Busters, stuff like that. Not really. Okay. I just because I've got a joke in my show about my dad's three interests. Oh, right. And they are transition lenses.

Yeah. New glasses. The plot of Jason Stathen films. Yes. And then the third one is Lancaster. Oh, I know. So close. I know.

Almost three for three. But he's not your daddy. Does he like trains? Yeah. Does he like mid-price hatchbacks? Yeah. Oh, massive kind of mid-price hushbacks. I'll give you his number.

Yeah. That'd be nice. Imagine if you were like, love you to Andy's dad. The non-Helen We can sit down together and watch a 45-minute review of the Skoda Superb. That would make him so happy.

That'd be really nice. I don't miss that. I don't miss having to, like, wait to do something in the living room because he's watching, like, a middle-aged man review a car on YouTube. But Skoda's fascinating because I think the rebrand of Skoda is fascinating.

I actually hate when heel comes on and I always forget about this. I always hate it. And the thoughtful design elements they put into the cars as well. It's not even so much about the redesign so much as the rebranding. I actually think it's so clever to be like, yeah, we're a shit and now we're not shit. Yeah.

So fun. It's great. And some of them have umbrellas built in. Really? How does that work? In the door, like a Rolls-Royce. Really? Wait, when you open the door, an umbrella pops up?

No, you open the door and if it's raining, there's a little slot where you pull an umbrella out of to use. Now, that's gorgeous. Come on, that's a bit of beauty. That is gorgeous. Yeah. So, Neil, when's your birthday? January January. you turn third.

Okay. Okay. Why? You're getting me a scoda? Yeah, that's exactly why I'm asking. That is why I'm asking. No, I, because I wondered if it was over the summer because sometimes you seem like a Leo, but you're not. What does that mean?

Just like, I sometimes I see myself in you. You're a Leo then? Yeah. Can I say this? I see very little of the other and the other. Really? Yeah. I think we get on.

They're not saying you don't get on. There are similarities. Some similar. I think there are some similarities. Yeah, you also wear a t-shirt that says New York same line. I would wear that t-shirt. I love that T-shirt. What tucked into black jeans?

I would wear this T-shirt. I love it. It's nice. Thank you. Stop it. Hey. But I think we're like this when we're with Helen as well. Yes, I think we react to the same.

We bond over the same energies. Yes, that's true. What are you doing? I'm putting on lip balm. It's a Moana lip balm that I bought her as a game. Oh, that's nice. Do you love it? Yeah.

Marianne. It's not that impressed. Do you know what's really interesting is when you first came on. hogs you're a real flincher yeah and then you sort of you were very stoic yeah and now you've got the flinch back i think that's godly yeah yeah i think you were so broken yeah you have you you have been pushing me away you don't answer the door to me if i not in a weird way if she presses the bell she presses the bell for ages and i i just wait and she calls me and i'm like you can try again good for you just tap it once wow

And I physically pushed her away yesterday, which is movement. That's good, isn't it? You've got your flinch back as like, I'm setting boundaries. You did actually physically push me yesterday. You said I was standing too close to the bench. I didn't like it. She stepped on my shoe and that's, that's a hand. Accidentally.

That's a nice shoe. It's handmade. Handmade. It's a new balance. Yeah, they're handmade in Flimba. Sorry, you can't remember the new balance as your handmaid. These are handmade, honestly. I promise you.

In the UK. Okay. Well, so machines as well, but they're not mass produced. Before I circle all the way back to Helen's side, let's end this episode. Guys, I'm so glad you've managed to get your flinch back, Sunil, to find a way to be friends outside of the domestic environment, Helen. Well done, everyone. To an amazing three years.

Sunil Patel, everybody. Tell us where can people find you. Please listen to my podcast's Rural Concerns with Chris Cantrell. It's very funny. Also, I'll be doing Catherine's radio show this summer. too long didn't read which they've had to change to that because old people didn't know what TLDR meant. Are you serious? Radio 4!

Yeah. Oh yeah, Idiot's Guide to Bagging an Arrest which is on Radio 4. Helen's in that as well. Nice. Also, I think Toxic Avenger, the movie comes out in September I think. Sorry, what? Are you in there? Yes.

That's so cool. Yeah, so that'll be out soon. You're in a movie? A Marvel movie? No, it's not Marvel. What's Toxic Avenger? It's like a B-movie sort of like... like horror remakey thing yeah you're in a B movie horror remake movie it's a cult classic it's a

cool it's fun it was really nice he's taking me to the premiere where is it it's not no can I come yeah I genuinely don't know when it's out yeah I genuinely don't know when it's out yeah okay you let me know that and obviously continue to um get your financial services from nationwide uh behave your mutual not paying you for this. Hey, that's so good, man. Oh, and things you should have done is out series two. That'll be out soon.

Oh, my God, we love that so much. I'm so glad you're playing the same solicitor. We mad at the same solicitor. It's even funnier. It's so, she's perfect. It's perfect. I can't wait to see it. This one's so great.

Bridget Christy's in this one. She's fantastic. Yes, I can't wait. God, you're having quite the time of it. It's been a fun year. I've done a lot. Yeah. And emotional.

It's been a fun and emotional ups and downs. Yeah, I've got a new sofa. Yeah, you should hold us. the sofa. Pretty exciting. I made. Wow. Can I go, can I go quick? Nope. Senil Patel

everybody! Woo! Thank you. I just want to say on behalf of me, on behalf of Catherine, on behalf of Andrew, on behalf of them, on behalf of the world, I guess. Thank you so much to our executive

producers and our producers. Let's start with the execs. You know them. They're sexiest fuck. They're hot as shit. It's Guy Goodman, Simon Moore, Stephanie Catrachea, Oliver Jago. Anthony Conway, Neil Redmond, Angela S, safety cashier, Sarah Deaking, and Amanda McCall, Amanda McCall.

I can read your name, Amanda, please let me read it. Charlie Weems, weems, weems. Weems. You can say weems as much as you want. I will always try a different go for it. And then obviously our producers, lest we forget, less we forget our producers,

L, Richard Bold, Harold Van Gogh. Dyke, Tim and Dom, David Walker, Rachel R. Claire Owen Jones, Sarah and Molly, Ria Fink, Cordelia, Rachel Page, Helen A, Tina Lindsay, Amy O'Reardon, Abby Woff, Matt Sims, Luke Bright, it's Jam, Rainbird. Have I missed a row? I need to follow this with my finger. I have Leah, Kate, Liz Ford, Tass, Anthony, Clow, Becky Fox, Dean Michael, Sophie Chivers, Chivers, Kerry Soothe, Soothe, Sothea, Charlie, and. A, K C, Jam Rain Bird, Tamsin Smith Harding, Ezra Perrigan, Bryn, Laura Pollock, Leah Overan, Stephen Chicken, Haley Singer, Dougie Robertson. I have not struggled with reading that much in a while. I love that you always crack up at Stephen Chicken. He's a lovely, lovely guy. And I bet, I bet, and I love you, Stephen Chicken. It's just, it's, it's so funny.

It's so, I really hope that they have a partner and I hope their sound name is cow So then they can be cow and chicken Do you remember that TV show? Yeah Thank you for your support Mom had a chicken, daddy had a cow Please don't cancel your Patreon

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