Trusty Hogs - Ep23. ROSE & CAMILLE / Acting, Accountants, & Aliens in Alaska

Episode Date: March 10, 2022

Rose Johnson & Camille Ucan (2/3 of The Birthday Girls with Beattie Edmonson) join Helen to step in for Catherine whilst she starts her tour! Plus we're joined in the studio by Vittorio Angelone, Andrew White, and Furby co-host Kimberly.Listen to Rose & Camille on Birthday Girls' House Party.Thank you so much for listening! Support us at https://www.patreon.com/TrustyHogs for exclusive bonus content, merch, and more! Trust us with your own problems and questions... [e-mail] Please give us a follow @TrustyHogs on all socials Be sure to subscribe and rate us (unless you don’t like these little piggies - 5 Stars only!)Thank you to our Patreon supporters...EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Simon Moores / Guy Goodman / Janinna Bautista / Mary FoxPRODUCERS: Richard Bicknell / SBDubz / Elle / Richard Bald / Neil Redmond / Victoria Hutchison / Emma Walton / Karen Bull / Harald van Dijk / Kierah Leach / Tim & Dom / David Walker / Rachel R / Lee Myerscough / Anthony Conway / Sadie Cashmore / Claire Owen-Jones / Kim Dubhghaill / Jess & Nick / Zoë / Jo Holmes / Caitlyn Lyth / Aideen McQueen / Sarah & Molly / Carrig Duke / Melissa DunkeldWith Helen Bauer (Daddy Look at Me, Live at the Apollo) & Catherine Bohart (Roast Battle, Mock the Week, 8 Out of 10 Cats) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Shush, let I do with the intro. Tinder gives you stamp of approval. Oh my God. Hello and welcome to trusty hogs. Catherine has been replaced by Kimberly. I mean, Kimberly has been very annoying so far. No, she hasn't. So much more chatty than even you, Helen.

She's just singing and I fucking love her for it. Vitorio, are you in love? Yes. We've got Vitorio helping on tech and he is just looking at me blank-eyed right now. Are you serious? You don't think this is magical? No, I think Furby's are very, I think Furby's are very creepy. It has been quite creepy. Well, hello, welcome to trusty hogs.

I am not Catherine Bohart, as is pictured behind me. You're kind of close. You're kind of close. You know what? Joe Wells, a friend of the show, said that I'm a mixture of both the ways you're broken, in that I am overly broken in a nice way, I suppose. You can't say that in a nice way. Okay, Kimberly's going to go off for the serious chat. Goodbye, Kimberly, sleep well, my princess.

Oh, it's so awful. One back train, she just dies. Through the fog. Step forth the trusty hogs. Yeah, you're going to give them your problems and they will solve them. Or maybe they won't and that's your problem. They'll have guests and Andrew White on the tech. Oh, it's Helen and Catherine as the trusty hogs.

Trust the trusty hogs on. Maybe not. She's really, yeah. You think you're a mix of the broken elements of Catherine and I. Yeah, like I'm too spontaneous and willing to do crazy shit like you, but also too over-analytical like Catherine. So I think I'm quite a floating co-host in that I can step into either of your show. I'm a mess.

I'm a real mess. Oh my God. That's kind of like the worst traits of both of us as well. Like you've just sort of mix them together. Exactly. Oh my God. Well, Catherine is not here. Catherine's on tour.

So congratulations to Catherine. both for going on tour if you've seen already amazing if you haven't but tickets they're on a website just make an effort you know I'm going I'll be going yeah yeah I would have gone by the time this goes out what yes when is this going out I've not because I have no idea I have absolutely no idea this is a thing without Catherine we don't know what's happening we're into March now we're into either way check out YouTube because we're going to be doing today's episode Naked welcome to trusty hogs so also we should properly introduce Vittorio

Angeloni who's an amazing comedian who is on the... Yeah, fantastic comedian. You're right. You're not actually amazing, Vitorio. Just fantastic. Just fantastic. Which is better?

Fantastic or comedic or what? Fantastic or comedian? Fantastic. I think Amazing's better but Andrew Demote's you is. Well, I just didn't want to feel like I was regurgitating Helen's words. I wanted to praise him my own way.

Yeah, you got a for source. What would you rather? What, fantastic or amazing? Yeah. I think Fantastic. It's got more hard consonants. He-he-he-he. Fantastic comedian, Vitorio Antlone,

who will be. be at Edinburgh Fringe this year in the monkey barrel just got his room I feel like people should know I feel like people should know we're groundbreakers on this podcast

when we had Jack Barry on he went to plug his Volt show and we got to tell him that Volt was cancelled it was awful he was awful he was like and he'd just done all the forms to get it

you can not fool it's not cool but look you should be like me and just miss all the deadlands for everything you don't come on you're organised now

really I can miss every fringe festival that isn't the Edinburgh fringe, and I barely got that one. You look so organized, though. I'm organized with my own stuff that I can take care of, but when I have to do a form for anything, I'm fucked. I see, I love forms. I prefer block capitals to the love of real men.

Wow. It's a sad point. No, that's cute. No, it's not. It's pathetic. No, no, don't say that. Like, I think that you're very organized. I'm actually very organized in my own way,

but no one believes me. You are. You've got everything in your diary. Every time I check with you, you know what you're doing. I really do. And then people think that I'm just like, who am I'm telling? I don't know what I'm doing. But I'm actually like incredibly well organized. Like this morning I got up really early, had chalky porridge and a coffee. And then I had a fight with my housemate. Like first thing.

I took a hammer to a cabinet quite early. Why? Because I put, I'm trying to build a cabinet, but I put something in wrong. So I was like, oh, I'll hammer that out in the morning, which you shouldn't do. You're supposed to just gently ease things out, but I thought one whack and it would work. And instead I just bashed it

and then heard Sineal being like, Hello! Senil does not have that aggression in his voice. He does. Really? You don't see what he treats me like at home. You have no idea what's going on under this jumper. Oh, my God.

Could you imagine if I just accused him of that? If I will, screw it. No, okay. Let me just make a time. timestamp note of where this is so I can cut it out for legal practice. Fine, he hasn't touched me. You said, you sound quite rueful that he's not touched you. I think it'd be nice.

Yeah? I think it'd be nice. I want to talk about musical theatre with you because Catherine's not here. So I feel like it's our finally opportunity to be our own like selves. Yeah, our true selves. So tell me, what have you been saying recently? What's the hot tip? What have I said?

I went to see Back to the Future musical. It wasn't very good. But do you know why? Because I read the program notes. And it's because the filmmakers who made Back to the Future were approached about a musical. Yeah. And they were like, well, nobody knows back to the future better than us.

We'll write the musical, but they don't know anything about musical. You've still got to have an expert. Do you know what I mean? Tina Fayed did the lyrics for Mean Girls. Yeah. But she also worked with musical theatre stars. Exactly. That's the way to do it.

Collaborate people. Yeah, but they didn't even get a musical theatre composer on board. They've got the film's composer on board. No. So it's all these people just like trying to guess what a musical is. I'm sorry, you went through that. Yeah. Technically, very good, though.

and in the evening I went to Millwall away, so very multifaceted. This is the great thing about Andrew is that he really sort of like transcends any stereotype. Like he'll go full musical theatre and you'll be like, yeah, he's gay. Like we 100% get it. And then Millwall and it's like he's a mystery. Yeah, I love that. Well, I'm seeing Mulan Rouge soon. Oh, yeah.

I would say I'm currently stuck in a Disney rut again. I've gone back down the goofy movie roof. So you're listening to the goofy movie as well. I was. I was. I still think like it is an epic film that doesn't get appreciated enough. And it's because at the moment I'm working on this new. new big comedy dream, which, by the way, I actually wrote down my comedy dreams in a

notepad again the other day. I should kill myself. Have they changed? Like every couple of years, I'm like, maybe I should, uh, right? Don't I know. I tell you what it is. It's because I worked for years at the national theater in catering with loads of actors. And then a couple of them, this book came out. What was it called? Like the manifestation power sort of whatever. The secret. The secret. The secret. And they were all like, this is how you do it. And there was a couple of them got really into it and then I'm quite susceptible to it so they were like if you want something you go for it but I think they still work there in catering

so I don't know if they actually did it but I was like so you have to write down what you want and then like picture it like really clearly like it's not just sort of like a fantasy like something that happens so then I was like okay well there's no harm and doing it but then I write it down and it's like the idea of someone finding it is just so intense like I'd rather than find like my porn search history than what I'd like to achieve

because I feel like there's less shame and I've done a lot, like I'm a lot in porn. Give us one of your dreams and give us one of your porn searches and we'll judge what's worse. Okay, we'll start with the dream because I need to rifle through porn nerd searches. I went through a breath play face.

Yeah, it's really over that. It's not good. Like, I'm not proud of myself. Is there a porn in, like you Googling like, Lively Apollo porn or something? Life of the Apollo porn would be fucking amazing. Yeah? Could you imagine?

Just like someone naked coming out and then like licking out the mic stand like from behind the smoke. The production value would be incredible. Oh yeah, it'd be very well produced. No? Also, who doesn't get turned on by someone

looking out on mic stand? What do you mean? Licking out of my stand. Okay, go on the dream. One of my dreams is, right. Bear with me here. What do Channel 5 and the Disney Channel have in common.

Oh my God. They found it around a similar time? No. Neither have invested in scripted comedy or comedy specials yet. I would like... I'd like to have the first Disney channel comedy special filmed in front of the castle of The Magical Kingdom. I'd like to arrive on stage through a parade through Main Street, me dressed as a princess.

I want to smoke the entire time through it, not Dave Chappelle vaping, properly smoking, as of the Magical Kingdom, and be dressed as Cinderella going. So sometimes clits go purple Ashing on kids And the whole crowd are wearing things And then I put to my agent about it And she was like And then like a fireworks display at the end

She suggested the fireworks display Yeah, yeah, yeah I've got a really supportive I've got a really loving agent Literally the only thing I can think of Is that adults aren't allowed to dress as characters at Disneyland there I know that rule

So that's the only rule that you would be Right, I'm so sick of this Because I've talked to you about this And you know how I feel about this I know this It's illegal for me to go to Disneyland Dress as a princess Because the kids might get confused

Oh, that's mad. I don't know which Snow White has a fucking these-sized tits. You know what I mean? Like a 40-G. You would have to get a really big glass case for those. When she's sleeping in the film. The glass slipper's not a size nine ladies' wife. There's no way.

But it's still illegal, which is bullshit. So then this is by one. What do you say illegal? It's against park rules. It's not like, you're not going to get arrested for it. So you don't respect it as a kingdom. I respect the Vatican's rules when I'm there. I think I should be allowed to respect the Disneyland rules.

when I'm there. Okay. They've got police. You see the Vatican and Disneyland as level pegging? Similar. Similar. Similar cult-wise, yeah. Oh, yeah, I can see that, yeah.

Do you not think? That's really, that's a really good observation. It's bang on. Essentially the same place. So, but then Disney Channel, I think a tricky thing is, is to do a special, I'd have to really curb my language and what I discuss. But is that not part of the fun of the juxtaposition? Yeah, yeah.

I think it is, but my agent said that's a tricky thing to get around. So she's very seriously entertaining this idea. Yeah, well, I think she does because she knows our power. I'll be like, why? You're supposed to facilitate my dreams. So then I was like, okay, Channel 5, okay? Because Channel 5 for me is the best channel on TV. Next to TLC, the Learning Channel,

where fat people live free and it's incredible. Have you seen Thousand-Pound Sisters? Yeah, I've recommended it so many times. It's so good, isn't it? Tammy went to hospital. She died for a bit, but then she came back to life. Yeah, she died for a bit. It is, yeah, it's actually crazy.

And it's mad because she's gaining weight as a sister loses weight, but together they're still a thousand pounds, which I love, you know, it feels like very on brand for the show. Well, I mean, there's the title of the show. It is. Basically, Channel 5, I think, has the best programming. Like, aliens in Alaska, I told you about that one. I watched it the other day.

It was an hour-long show on Channel 5 called Aliens in Alaska, and it was about three people in Alaska who might have seen an alien once. And it was a full hour and incredibly inspiring. I'd say they have a lot of wonderful shows by like disabled pets. Like their representation is incredibly good. Right, right. And they had, do you remember fat families back in the day? Yeah, yeah, I'm familiar.

I think it'd be really fun to do an original sitcom in between those. I think Channel 4's got lots of sitcoms, BBC's got loads of sitcoms. I think let's skip that, go straight Channel 5. Straight Channel 5, yeah. So what's the... I want to be a groundbrown. I feel like Channel 5 is in decline. I don't know if...

Yeah, I'm sorry. People very rarely watch dress to television anymore, let alone Channel 5. They don't even have a catch-up service, do they? Do they? I don't think so. I love how you're like, you have to be the one that knows everything now. Yeah. Because usually we do this, Andrew.

Shall I Google it? We'd appreciate it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Channel 5 catch-up, that feels right, actually. Oh, no, that's 4-0-D, isn't it? Yeah, which isn't 4-0-D anymore. All 4. All four, all four.

But I think Channel 5 are missing a trick. Because I reckon as well, because they don't have any, that you could do whatever you wanted. Yeah. So I could finally do my rom-com set in Hitler's Germany with a young girl losing a virginity to someone in the Hitler youth. Okay, right. A girl in the lacy pajamas.

Brilliant. I think it would be magical, right? So it's like... Is a rom-com? A film or a sitcom? Like a sitcom, a sitcom rom-com. But it's Channel 5, so it has to be within an hour, an hour format. Yeah.

So an hour-long rom-com, the girl in the lace pyjamas, which I will be taking the name of. But I'm more than happy to kick you a fiver if you want. Fair play. No, that doesn't feel right, actually, because I was doing Hittley youth. That feels more concentration camp. But the boy, the boy, because the reason it's sad is because the little Nazi boy dies. I know, yeah.

And you're like, no, he wasn't. You got the wrong one. Oh, God. That film is so harrowing, isn't it? Yeah, it's brutal. I met because I read the book and, oh, it's fun. Yeah, it comes in a book format as well. It comes in a book format too.

I think the book came first, actually. It's mad when that happens, isn't it? There's so many. I've read mouse. I'm sure I've read stuff. Oh, it's not the one that got cancelled? Yeah, yeah. Oh, wait, what?

It got banned by lots of school districts in, uh, and America. They kind of the school boards tried to shut it down as being not appropriate for younger people. Oh my God. Okay, that's all right then. I thought it would have been cancelled and I was showing off that I'd read a book and it was one that's been like completely written.

You thought like the author of mouse was like a sex pest or something. Yeah, or something like something I missed in it that was actually weirdly like antisemitic or something. No, no, that's very much the opposite. Right, it's the opposite. But I was thinking maybe I missed something. Maybe the mouse represents something in a way that I didn't know. Do you know what I like about you, Helen?

Fear of ignorance. Yeah, you're very willing to just accept that you might have got something wrong, like, straight away. I do, I do. Even when you 100% haven't got it wrong, you're just like, oh, maybe I've not considered this. I know, but then I also, like, stand on a pedestal for things, like, I will do a Disney Channel's comedy special.

But I don't know if I could do the material I'm doing at the moment. Like, I can't stand in front of the castle, talk about Jacqueline Wilson writing about having bipolar mums and everyone wanting a bipolar mom. No, I'd like to go America, mainly because I haven't been, and I think if I did a film a special there, tax deductible. Also, whether or what do you mean tax deductible?

If you travel there. Yeah, yeah, obviously. So if I film a special, then it's tax deductible and I might as well go further. Do you have an accountant, Helen? I do now, yeah. I was going to volunteer to your accounts. I've got one now. I've got one now.

Yeah. I email her. You email her? And she goes, good. Good. Is that what she says? Yeah. Isn't that what you're supposed to do with them?

I don't know. What are you emailing her? How regularly are you emailing her? I said, this is all my online banking login details. do you will Is this a proper accountant? Yeah, yeah. But she's very nice.

Well, as long as she treats you nicely, haven't. No, I, right, I know how I do this. I go on Santander and I download all my transactions.

Yeah. And I've only got a debit card, so it's really easy. Have you only got one? You got savings accounts, anything like that? Yeah, I do now. Yeah, yeah.

I've got a, I say, I say. Yeah, impressed? Yeah, blown away, Helen. Thank you. Feels really good, actually. It's growing.

You know, and then it goes down again and then it goes like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you can just take it back out. Which is the, that's how they get you. That's why it's so magical. You're like, oh, I'm saving a thousand pounds. And then you take it out because you want to like, I don't know, buy a new Furby or something.

But that's the thing. So I've got to take it all out again because I want to get a picnic table. Picney table. Where are you going to put a picnic table? We have a slanty house with no space. We've got a little patio space. How big is, how, because a picnic table is quite sizable.

Yeah, well, there won't be room for anything else, but I want a picnic table with a pink parasol. And you know I live with Sunil Patel. Don't you think he'd look so cute sitting on a picnic table with a big pink parasol over him in the summer? You cannot make financial purchases. Thank you. I suppose all purchases are financial.

But you can't make financial decisions based on what would look cute on Instagram. You keep talking to me like that. You were not coming to the Disneyland special recording. Wow. Vitorio, you're more than welcome, though. Thank you very much. Yes, I went to Disneyland when I was a kid and got so scared of the Little Mermy. that I ran away

and then Eeyore looked so sad that I gave him a hug Oh that's adorable Wait wait The Little Mermaid or Ursula Yeah

Wait Wait Sorry The Mermaid The Mermaid The Mermaid It's talking to some men Not all men

Okay But like Yeah Yeah Little Mermaid or Ursula Yeah I'm already It might have been Ursula

I've forgotten I've blacked it out of my memory So you went on the ride No no no She was just like around. You know the one that she's just like sitting by a fountain and you get photos with her. We're just with her legs all bound together.

Yeah, I was like, that's not right. That would creep me out as well, actually. A full on mermaid. They're really nice, aren't they? The princess is there. From my memory, I was like four. I got outworked by Snow White. Outwoked?

How? I was like so excited to meet Snow White. I was like, I was young. I was like 29. And I went with two mates I worked in a cafe with shout out to Alice and Francis. And we met Snow White. And I was just like. I was a bit like just nervous

because it's like, you know when you're like just starstruck by this 18 year old playing Snow White and I just sort of panicked where they were taking pictures and I was like, oh make sure I look thin her and she was like, you must never say that about yourself and it's like fuck yourself Snow White like it's easy for you to say

but like you're seven dwarfs yeah and also like you're fucking tiny you're 16 like give me a break you know I'm just I'm panicking I'm saying something and then she yelled at me she yelled at you yeah but I was so I feel like I didn't stand up I look at it retrospectively, and I wish I said to her, like, well, you know, it's a comment I make about my body, like, blah, blah, blah, this is all fine, but instead I went, oh, yeah, I know her, and just I buckled to her, you know?

The evil queen at a point, get the fuck rid of her. Bit of a nightmare. Tell me about when you saw Eeyore. Yeah, that's really sweet. So it's just a story that I've heard, he obviously, obviously, like, the suit looks sad because he's Eeyore, and I like, let go of my mom's hand, like, ran over and just, like, give him on. Look, he's sad. How old were you, like 12? Four.

Four. Which Disneyland? I think it was America. You've made it farther than I ever have. Grandparents used to live in Florida. Oh, wow. That is a great destination for a grandfell. My Italian grandparents, yeah, Nonna and Nonna.

Please tell me they still live there and alive. No, they live in West Belfast now. Oh, why? Oh, my God. Is there a Disneyland Belfast? No. We've got jails that you can get to. tours of? Oh yeah, I've been around one of them.

I went to Kilmainham jail. I mean, it's near Dublin, but it's very nice. In Dublin. Oh, I was on a bus. Oh, no, I was outside. Yeah, I've not been to Belfast, actually. I went to that one. Kilmainum. Is that where they filmed the Italian job? I don't remember. They gave us a lot of information. I was taking pictures. Very nice. Pretending to be. Super offensive, whatever it was. I can't remember exactly. That's the hell and by our way. Oh, my goodness. We should introduce our guest. Yes. We've got a fantastic guest today. Um, I do, I feel like Kimberly didn't get her moment

shine. Do you want me to plug the battery back in? Catherine's on tour for a bit. Maybe she'll miss another one. Yeah. If you're listening, Kimberly is a Furby, by the way. I think people know. Gairishly coloured.

How do I tell it on? Wake up, Kimberly. She's very freaky. She's waking up. Sorry. Well, surely we want a way to wake her up. Oh, go, go, go, go, go. Hi, Kimberly.

And this is how I feed her. That took me three months to figure out You're just letting her starve I thought she was starving to death You're a bad Furby mum Also for anyone who doesn't Is familiar with Kimberly's situation She's got locked in syndrome

What's that mean? It's a very severe disability Which means that I can't access To communicate with her And she can't communicate with me Because the app has been discontinued That I need to feed her and love her Oh

Let's welcome my wonderful guest I know what It's borderline impressive 23 episodes in or whatever we're on that we always manage to bring the tone down right before we bring on again. I know, but I think that's just part of what it is, and I think the hogs love it. I'm speaking of half of all of them.

Oh, by the way, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet hoggy listeners, we still only have one bad review, which is still slagging off me and nothing about Catherine. I'm not saying give us a bad review. No, don't give us a bad review. Give us a five-star review, but be disparaging about Catherine. There we go. Can someone just do a five-star review and just sort of be like,

love it, love it, love it, love Helen. Oh my God, she's so fit and she's so funny. Like, what's her truth? What's her story? I heard her pussy's really tight. Andrew's so hot. Who would ghost him? What's the story?

What's this truth? And then just be like, Catherine's all right? And then just leave it like that. I just really appreciate it. I hope she doesn't listen to this. She might do. Welcome, Rose Johnson and Camille O'Don!

Woo! Welcome to our guest! It's Rosa Camille! I feel like we've already had the best chat of our lives. It's unbroadcastable. So we just like say, thank you so much for coming on. Yeah, cheers. Thank you for having us.

It's been wonderful, I think. Hey, Kim. Don't touch it, you don't know. Hey. Oh, okay, let's be gentle. I didn't ask for permission. Come on. Now, how are you?

What's happening? Why are you doing that tone? Because I'm watching Frasier again for the first time. And I sort of like, because Catherine's not here. Wait, you said you're watching it again for the first time. Yeah. First time, second watching. But again, Rose, she's picking you up on the fact that you said I'm watching it again for the first time. It's a tautology.

So I watched it. No, it's not a tautology. It's a contradiction. A tautology is where you say it was massive big. Yeah. Actually, what that was was a contradiction in turn. You can't watch something for the first time again. But I've watched it once and I'm watching it again for the first time. No.

Because I've watched Gilmore Girls. This is your first reworn. First rewatch? Got you. Yeah, yeah. Okay, well, oh, come on now. I'm going to help you.

So, thank you, Andrew. I've watched Gilmore Girls, I'd say about 20 times the whole way through. Nor have I. You're not a feminist. Not a feminist. No, what is it? What, what?

No, what is it? A wonderful drama about a mother daughter, mother daughter struggle. Lorelei, is she in it? Lorelei and Rory and Emily. Okay, I'm going to watch it. Yeah, we'll watch it. I feel like you're saying that you're not actually going to do it.

Sorry, sorry, what was the thing about Frasier? So I'm basically watching, re-watching Frazier. Yes, nicely done. From the beginning. And he has his radio show and he goes, this is Dr. Frazier Crane. Yeah, yeah. I'm listening. And I feel like throughout Trustee Hogg so far, it's been a bit like,

what's up, cunt! And a bit like, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, we're here to fucking say what it is, the truth. Let's just, there's alien to Alaska, you know? And I just She, that is right up her Did you believe in aliens? Did you watch it on Channel 5? I feel bored with that, no.

Talk her through it. Our, we've just talked about it in the beginning of this episode. I love it that we got you on our trash TV podcast because you have literally watched everything. Like everything you've watched it. Go on, tell me. Okay. Our documentary called Aliens in Alaska.

So immediately you're like, I'm in. I'm in. I'm not moving. I'm not moving. I'm shitting myself where I sit. I'm not missing a second of us. I don't have. Happy night.

And I've got the adult nappies. They're ready to go. And you know what? It's amazing. Even when you go through the adult nappy and you're like, what size was? It's fine. It's a log. There's an hour show where three Alaskans may have seen an alien once.

And they're just debating it. They're just sort of like, I'm pretty sure. And they were like, no, it was a star. And they go, I've seen stars before. It's so good. And that's their evidence. Yeah. It was a star, but it might not have been.

Yeah. Incredible. But I, it got me. Yeah. Well, you believe it? After shitting myself, Googling. Googling how to get to Alaska. Well, because I do think there aren't aliens.

I agree. How could they not be? Because they mean, why are you looking at me? Like, I'm the spokesperson for they're not being alien. Do you remember in Spice World the movie? Here we go. And there's that amazing scene where the five Spice Girls go for a piss.

Yeah, other than that. They get on. Sorry, just to clarify, when you say, you mean the Five Spice Girls, not the Five Spice Girls. The Chinese Spice Girls. Very good, very good, very droll, very droll, Andrew. Took a while for the penny to drop there, hello, Helen. Also six Spice Girls in that.

Naoko Mori, who played the other Spice Girl who was their friend. Do you remember her? She was pregnant in the film. I don't even remember her. My mum used to teach her at her illegal drama school. Illegal? Yeah, yeah. She ran a drama school out of Helen's front room.

Ambao school of drama. That's very holly oaks. Thank you. That's very holly. Very fleet. It's very Hampshire. Yeah, but go on. So they basically, at one point,

Jerry needs a piss, okay? And they're driving along and they're like, we can't have Jerry pissing. They don't have any adult nappies. You know, they're not organised, not like us. They got off the bus

into the woodland, come across five aliens, okay? And I'm pretty sure those aliens were real. I'll tell you for why. Because they weren't just doing the normal alien stuff

because the first thing the aliens did is go to sexually assault one of the Spice Girls by grabbing her boob. And I will die on this hill. Sorry, so just to backtrack, You think that during the filming of Spice Girls, the movie... Yes, they had five real aliens.

At that point, like, in the script, like, Jerry was going to go for a piss, or maybe that wasn't in the script. I don't think it was in the script. But they just thought, we'll keep the cameras rolling in case anything happens. And you think by some stroke of luck, that they happened to catch a real-life alien during the shoot. I think because it was such an... It didn't move the story along.

And you're incidental. And none of them broke character. No one broke character. Well, they're not. They're in character because they are like, you know, Emma Bunton is Baby Spice. You know, she loves a chubb, chubb. Remember when we were in, we were in, we did like little tiny parts in Abfab years ago. Yes, you did, you did.

We did. We did. I played, who did a play, Patsy's assistant. You played, I was Bubbles assistant. And during that, the episode that we were in, Lulu was also in. Incredible. And during the read-through, she came up to me after we'd done the read-through, which, by the way, was incredible. We filmed it. We were like doing the read-through. in, was it in Pinewood, like in a massive studio?

Or maybe it was at BBC, yeah. And Joanna Lumley, absolute icon in this massive studio just lit up a fag and just had it. And nobody said anything because that woman can do, she is like, she's like a goddess. You, she can do anything. I feel like cigarettes wouldn't even make her breath smell. She's incredible.

Because she's just dignity. I've seen that show where she gets her vagina steamed. No. Like on TV. And even watching it, I was like fair play to you. Of course you've seen that. Fair play. It was a travel show and then she was like,

and we must do as the locals do. And then she goes and gets her badge scene. So she's got a fag on the go and then Lulu came up to me after we done the reads for him and was like, how would you say my lines? You're really good. How would you say them? And I was like, oh, just you say them

how you would say them because you're playing Lulu. So just say them. How would you say that? She was like, no, no, no, no, can you say it? And she basically made me. She made Lerose say it and she repeated it back as Rose said it. And I was like, but I'm not Lulu.

You're Lulu. The character is Lulu. But maybe you are more Lulu than Lulu. Maybe I am. And did she perform them like that when the recording happened? She had a bash. I would say she's not an actress. No, she's fantastic.

Right. But I mean, she... It must be weird playing yourself. I mean, I know stand up, you're a version of yourself, but actually acting. Yeah, but you're not acting. And also it's somebody else. written your line so i think that was her issue she was like well i wouldn't say that i would say

something else well then she should bloody improvise listen lulu i mean i loved her yeah a lot of time for her oh my god she was on um jules holland this year wasn't she was she was she was i watched that she still got it i thought is she gonna make it she did just about make it i thought i was convinced that did you watch the latest masked singer series no just click oh my god Oh, I love that. Take some Google Box, okay? You, it's like, that would be like, I'm too busy on Channel 5.

Yeah. I'm too busy, keep up of the £1,000 sisters on TLC. You're like, Marsega, a bit highbrow for me. A bit highbrow for me, sorry. But, um, she, I was convinced that Panda was her. Me and Dan were like, it was like Natalie and Brulia? It was left too bloody and Brulia. Incredible.

How convinced were you? Were you tweeting? Oh, yeah. No, I know. I wasn't tweeting, but we were in, we've got a WhatsApp group. And I was like, we were like, really. Are you in this WhatsApp group as well? Oh, yeah.

Oh my God. So you're like, I just don't understand you sometimes because I feel like, you're super passionate about this and then the aliens conversation you just shut down and moved on. Do you know what I mean? It's like, I don't. She knows what she likes.

Yeah. She's got a logical brain. So Mars Singer, it's in the real world. There is an end goal. She likes a quiz. A puzzle. She likes a challenge. I like a puzzle.

She likes to guess. And she knows week eight, we will find out if it's Lula or not. Whereas with the aliens, I'm like, it's never ending. If it's on Channel 5, there's not going to be a big, But you have to start the rumor about

so the aliens are credited as performers in the credits but then I started a rumor that they weren't Do you remember when your school went to see Women in Black? Are you back on Spice Girl? And everyone was like and she doesn't actually exist because you have seen the play Woman in Black right? And then everyone's like but there's only two actors credited.

So she's not there. What? It's a ghost play. I've just had goosebumps from you saying that and I have no idea what any of that meant but it gave me a loose. Women in Black is incredible. It's, it's, You know we wouldn't see Ghost Story. I lost my fucking mind.

So I'd say it's scarier than Ghost Story. Love Ghost Story. Women are Black, when you're a kid, it's like the scariest thing you'll ever see. I don't know. It's more scary than Ghost Story. What was I liked in Ghost Story? Awful.

I was, we were on the front row. We got day seats. And this is how, like, vocal we were. At the end, the cast gave us around the applause because we've been so insane. What the fun? I was just like, you know, I was just that thing in the theatre where you're like,

they're going to be coming at me. There's people. I was like, they're going to be touching me. They're going to be under the seat. Wait, is this ghost story 2-2-2? No, this is... No. I'm not confused.

I have seen that as well. Because I'd call that one and that wasn't like... No, I think this was called... I think this was called Ghost Stories. It was the one with like Rees-Shear Smith. And it was... Andy Nyman. Much more visceral.

Ghost Story 2-2-2. Is that what it's called? It's more like a play. Like just a scary play. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, was this like sketches like one after years ago. Yes. Yes.

I did see this. Terrifying. That was mad. That was fucking. like literally like there'll be bits where all the lights would go off in the theatre and then you're like there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a lost my mind but I love that like I get

like women in black I know I there's certain seats I know not saying so I've seen it like 10 times so I know where I'm going but like immersive theatre does that for me more like when I've got to run it like you've ever seen a punch drunk show is it those fucking hell they stress me out because I'm like I don't know if I'm doing it right and I need to make sure I'm going to the best bit

of it do you know what I mean I know what you mean when it's over like several levels. And you're like, I don't want to get stuck with some like, somebody who went to, you know, who's like... That's the beauty of it, Rose. That's a beauty. You've got to go on your own journey. Yeah, but I don't be stuck with some like, you know, just, yeah, exactly. And then you're stuck in a room with him for three hours. And you're like, I'm sure there's big stuff going on. Just to make this clear, if anyone who's listening

does not know what we're talking about. Bunch drunk is an immersive theatre company. We're clearly all three people who took GCC drama way too seriously. I think my impression was good. I think it was perfect. Come over here. It's like that. audience arrive and then you get actors coming up to you and they've built a whole world usually in a warehouse and they take you around the story but you can follow different stories but usually there's a finale in one big room altogether and they're fucking terrifying but so good I've got changed for the chainsaw once in one of them in Manchester in a warehouse was that an

immersive theatre piece or did you get lost along the way a hundred one with this girl called Ruth Perrin she's fucking babe and she booked tickets I'd never been to one before and then we had to signed something before we went in and I was like oh my god and they put us in a lift but the contract said something like you'll be entering a dream world please be prepared that this dream will become a nightmare and I was like great I will leave when the nightmare hits you know you can't and they said you look for red curtains and the red curtains at exits and I was like good to know good to know fucking hell the first thing you have to do is crawl through a clown's mouth I was like what's not a tree is this fucking giving a full on head to cross

Like I'm not doing it was yeah and I got lost like five times and I could never find the red curtain at the right time Yeah yeah I know not for me not for me at all thank you very much I just think that like and also I feel like at the end You know when you meet back up with your friends and they're like oh my god I literally had the most incredible experience I like saw I saw my own birth and like they like showed me the future I understand the meaning of life that's my oaska yeah but then you but then you've been with hello follow me even and stay in the room and you're like ah You're there going like Rada, Rada, Rada, Landa. Really good. And your smile just becomes more and more fixed as it's going on. Like, oh, he's still doing it.

I'd love to create immersive theatre. I would. I would love to be like, like the director of one of them. Yeah, but how, like, where would we do it? She's so good at producing, she'd be able to do it. Oh, I'm really good at this kind of. I'd love to do it in Hamleys or something like that. A toy one.

Like a big toy store, but then the toys come alive, people come out from behind. Oh my God, I love it. Right? Like, yeah, exactly. And like, yeah, exactly. furry suits and they just cut they all yeah did you come to my immersive piece at uni when I dyed my hair pink tell me more you gonna have to say wait did you actually is this a joke I did it well I can't remember

Andrew prepare yourself to cringe I cannot wait I can't remember what project this was it was immersive it was I did stop animation stop motion animation as part of it where I had to paint myself blue very slowly to cage it can you paint a tiny bit blue film it Oh, my God. Dived my hair pink, and it was like a rave experience. When they came in, I was like, stood up on a place. By yourself in a room?

No, there was a group of us. Was that the one where Lewis got his knob out? Nah, that was based on what's that book? What's that book? You're going to have to say more words. Knights of the Circus? Is that a book? Yes, Angela Carter.

Angela Carter. That's what he got his knob out. A boy at uni got his knob out on stage. Fair play to him. Did you get full marks? I don't think he did. It wasn't. Wait, so you both study drama at uni?

Yeah. With English. With English. Stop it. Best production you were part of. Obviously, apart from the one when Lewis got his knob out. Was the knob out part of the story?

Or was that like an embellishment? I would say it was not dramatic. No one else chose to get their knobbought. Yeah, I would say narratively it was not integral to the piece. Do you remember how important it was to do something shocking? Like, I didn't do drama at uni, but I remember for like college and stuff like that. You wanted to do like a shocking.

moment like at our GC drama there was a group who um were doing a show about meat about the meat industry and um he just kept throwing like bones at the audience it was amazing we once did a production we weren't in it i directed it and camille did the thank you camille did the uh was doing like what were you doing like the stage management and production i was stage management phase five years absolutely fell into rada to do stage management turned it down for sketch comedy I did NYT, stage management, and I did apply to a drama school, do stage management, but then I didn't go to the interview because it made you cry. I loved it.

What were you, ASM, DSM, SM? Oh, tried them all, but my favourite, probably, probably D. Yeah, me too. Is that the one of the book? Yeah. So she was, so it was a production of a play called Buried Child. Actually, I think we were legally not allowed to do it, so I'll just cut that out. So I'll say it again.

Yeah, we were doing this production, which needs. needed, I won't go into it, it wasn't the script, it needed bones. It needed a bones. Like human bones? Yes. And Camille bought a reduced chicken from Sainsbury's, but didn't cook it. No, I cooked it. No, no, no, but you didn't cook it. You left it in the fridge for a while because you were like, well, I'm not going to eat it. So it doesn't matter if it goes out of date further, because I'm just going to cook it. She boiled up the most rancid chicken. Boiled? boiled it up or did you roast it I boiled it and then I roasted the bones

and her housemate said that the house just stank of death for months afterwards and the bone stank like at the end of the play just throughout the play because they were backstage this smell would just wave over you through the theatre until the character like brought them out at the end

and it was genuinely horrific because it was like well they smell of death a commitment to my art you needed to look a human bone a chicken carcass does not look like a human bone I'd say it was quite effective. It was. It was.

It's long buried. It's long buried. And did no part of you ever think, oh, I'll just go to a butcher's and just ask for their leftover bones? No. That's weird. No.

That never occurred. That sounds very powerful, though. Oh, it was good. I think it was quite a good production, wasn't it? It was. Yeah. Got someone to shave their head for it,

one of the main characters. Oh my God. The power of drama when you're younger, and you're just sort of like, honestly, you're going to have to shave your whole head. Even now, I'd love to get a part where it was like you had to shave your head yeah really yeah or like how about you have to come on like cast next time with a shaved hair yeah you've been cast in trusty hogs the musical

she will do it how about every time katherine's busy you guys come on and we start building up our immersive theatre play camille all has short hair each time you're all short hair i'm painted blue and then you've got pink hair and together with a sun motion Andrew what part do you want to play the bone uh that feels like not very involved as a part. Okay, oh my God, it's an impact role as far as I was concerned. Yeah, I feel like, okay. Yeah, you, you're not, you're not getting a lot of stage time, but when you do, it's literally like, oh, all right, I'll take that, I'll take that. I think you'd be good at it. What would you, what, is there a part you'd really love to play? Um, what characters are there?

Talk me for me. We're devising it. I see it. Brilliant, fantastic. I was wanted to play like a really tragic, broken woman, like, who was like, on the bottle and all confused. On the bottle. I always got like, you know, big. glass who's loud like i never got the sort of like i wanted to be like marilyn monroe i think i'd want your parts then because i was telling you earlier i'd love to be miss trunchball in matilda that would be a three i think you'd be a good miss trunch bull thank you but i was saying i'd find it hard to play miss trunchball and not be on stage for when i grow up because it's the best song in it oh my goodness you should do it recently amazing i haven't seen it to my show you'd love

oh it's really good magical you should do a one woman matilda helen you know i did and it's never been released. Comedy Central. This is honestly, four years ago, they were going, that is so mad. They were going through a phase of wanting comedians to do online content for their like ones to watch or whatever.

And they made us do like loads of different things. And one of the things they were like, could we get comedians to do like a minute but do a whole film in a minute? And I was like, I want to do that one. I'll do the whole of Matilda. Because I'm like, I just think of some.

best film of all time. It's so flawless. And like you could do the chocolate cake really quickly and like obviously the main court like Mrs. Wormwood like we're going to be now. Like I fucking you chose books, I chose looks. Like all the hits. And um and the best line in it obviously we learned how to spell difficulty with a poem a poem. What would that be? And they're like Mrs. D, Mrs. I. And then she's like, why are all these women married? But they never released it. They released a video of me being like, comedy is really fun. And it's like, no. So somewhere in the ether.

Somewhere in Comedy Central, in the Viacom MTV offices in Camden. Somebody out there is sitting on a fucking goldmire. Release the tape. Release the tape. Start the campaign. We need to start a social media campaign. It's me aged like 27 doing Matilda in a minute and really panicking that. I'm not going to make it in time and do justice to the film.

Oh, so like, as in. Like DiVito's going to see it and be like, oh, she's, really missed a trip there. So, wait, so as in you didn't, you didn't cut. It wasn't like cut together. You literally had to be single frame one minute go, props and cost you. You do magic?

No, I didn't do magic. I've got a minute. And also, she doesn't do magic. She uses her powers. Okay, well. How are you going to, how did you communicate the power of the club? You know, it's some kind of string and that's like, ooh. No, you just do Cheerios knocking over.

Oh, yeah. I know it's not the full on do. You should have had someone off screen throwing a newt at your face. That's what happens, isn't it? Should have would have. could of it's not on her face actually it's on her bust okay that's all right don't feel bad sorry don't feel bad you have like a photographic memory of things you've watched i think what you've confused with is pair and trap with meredith with the iguana going down and a face happens all the time that film i

rewatched it um over the festive period it's a masterpiece lindsay lohan should have got an oscar for that absolutely fantastic performance it's incredible it's incredible i don't know i saw an article come off my phone the other day being like i can't believe we've all been saying lindsey lohan name wrong the whole time. And I nearly clicked on it, but then I had to go. And I was like, damn it. I don't know. I think it's probably like, we found out.

Loan? Loan? Oh, that's nice. Maybe. Like Rowan? She's doing very well for herself, though, I think, in general. Do you remember during Brexit where she suddenly was on Twitter, like, when the vote, when the things were coming through and like, Kettering was one of the first results and they'd voted leave.

And she started tweeting, Kettering, what are you doing? No. She was really suddenly involved in the Brexit vote. And she was fuming with Kettering. Sorry, I'm now thinking, could we do like a master theatre piece where Lindsay Lohan would be in it? How well is she doing and would she be up for it? She did do a British, she did a British drama, so not too long ago. What, what?

A drama? Like a comedy drama. Yes, we did a read through Rose. This, yes, it's called Sick note. And Thickno and I got one of the worst. Well, no, this is the thing. She wasn't there. This is, we did one of the most sort of, like.

like at least rewarding jobs that an actor can do, which is where they go, we're making a show. We are doing a read-through. We've already cast it, but somebody can't come, will you just come and read the parts, like a little rat? So we went to read the parts of the people. And they always say to you, like,

oh, we've still got a few little parts to cast, so you never know, and then you get there and you're like, they've all been cast. We're not in. So anyway, we were there. But you go all dressed up, ready to. Yes, yes. Yes, you've got your makeup on, you've got your makeup on.

You've got your makeup on. Yeah, yes. And one of my parts was this mad American woman. And I was like, what is this part that I'm reading? It's really hard to perform. I was like, who is the person? And they hadn't, you know, when they normally say, like, who's playing it? It didn't say.

So I was thinking, am I am with a chance of mad American woman? Because for once, this hasn't been cast. Two days later, I see the release. Lindsay Lohan's playing it. Lindsay Lohan. I reckon it was close. I reckon it was close between the two of you. But yeah, she did.

So she's, you know, she's coming over to the UK. We could maybe get her involved. I just think she'd be up for it. Yeah. I mean, do we need to wrap up this episode now? Can we do this in the extras, do you think? Can we talk about our production? We should do a problem as well.

Oh my God, I forgot about this. And it is Lindsay Lowen, apparently. Loan, yeah. Lindsay Loan? I was right. Yeah, you were correct. Loan. Sounds like Lion and German.

Lindsay Lyon. We all enjoyed yours. We did, but it was wrong, my love. Okay. And I'm glad that it was right. I am. Yeah? I think so patronise me.

No, but I do love being right. Do you want to hold hands for a little bit? Well done, Rose. That was really sweet. Do you want to do a listener problem? Yeah. Love to actually. So they send in problems.

They're anonymous, but I usually guess. Yeah, because how? Is that by an encrypted email? Yeah. I don't have the email login. I've got all the people. Andrew has the email login. You know who they are.

I'm the gatekeeper of all of this problem. Do you actually know. Can you figure it out? Yeah, most people just send it with their name attached. I always assume it's like the queen. You know what I mean? She's on bed rest. She's fucking messaging.

In the very early days, a couple of problems we read out were actually my problems because we didn't have enough emails. And I didn't tell you or Catherine. We were like, oh my God, this is so great. We've got so many problems in. And then it turns out we were just like, what's what's wrong with this person? And it was that true.

And Andrew was like, I'm trying to make you feel better that you haven't had anyone writing it. That's slating me. Because we forgot to what. Oh, actually, that's a good point. We should ask. Please do email and problems too. Is it trusty hogs at gmail.com?

It is indeed, yes. I am so good at doing this without Catherine. Listen, you're flying. Oh, please rate and review us and hit the subscribe button and press like on YouTube and follow all of us. Yes. Follow all of all of us here and follow trusty hogs as well. And listen to the birthday girls podcast. How party?

It's called. Yeah, sorry, it's called Birthday Girls House Party. Helen's been on it. I've been on it. It was a magical, a magical day. It was just basically talking about my favourite subject, just reality TV. Yeah. Or as you referred to it as trash TV, was it?

Yeah. And I was like, the great TV. It's fine. I know where I stand. I've got expert. Yeah, it's fine. I'm fine. Okay.

We're all chill? Yeah, yeah. Let's solve a fucking problem. Please. Okay. Andrew, hit us. This is from X. Professor.

Yes, correct. Professor X from X-Men. Dear Andrew, Catherine, Helen, obviously you two are collectively Catherine in this situation. Yeah. Do the accent. Go on. So what happened, basically, is we were going to do the problem,

and then we started talking about food, and that went on for a what did you say, about 20-something minutes? Oh, yeah, at least. Minimum. So now, God, we're so self-absorbed. We don't want to hear anyone else's problem. We even started the letter, didn't we?

We got as far as their name. I literally said, Dear Andrew, Catherine and Helen, and then we stopped. Making me know everyone's describing their favourite meal deals. Yeah, how did we get on to meal deals from that? You can hear the meal deals in the extras for the Patreon. Patreon.com forward slash trusty hogs. Where there will be a moment where you will hear me arguing with Camille being yelled at by Rose.

I'll say yelled. Yeah, it was yelled because apparently I made a breath. intake, wrong? Thanks for sticking it up for me, mate. Yeah, well, all I'll say is it's all been captured on film, so tell it to the judge. I've got the audio, like the...

Yeah, Andrew, we know it's recorded. We know. Obviously, we know that. There's cameras there. Sorry, very, very stressed and very hungry. I feel like you're not coming to this, going to be coming to this problem with a caring, empathetic, like, outlet.

Oh, do charity work. That's the answer to every problem. Oh, do some charity work. Because then the carver will solve your problem. Right, let's actually fucking hear it. Everyone, shut up! I want a subway. So it's quite dramatic this one.

There's a bit of backstory as well. This summer, my cousin's husband was found kissing her best friend. Hang on a minute. My cousin's husband's husband. Hang on, hang on, I need to go back. Found kissing. The cousin's best friend. The cousin's best friend, yeah, yeah.

I'm still doing the master. Basically an affair. Yeah. No, I'm aware of that, Camilla. I just tried to. Should I pretend that I'm doing this from the point of view of this burn, woman so that might make it clearer we get it okay you're on it I'm not sorry

no no I've got it I've got it yeah just so my add to the drama of it yeah yeah yeah fuck the best friend has a boyfriend so that she's also having an affair with the husband I would say we're just kissing but still the best friend claims that the husband came onto her there was a big fight indeed the best friend took a temporary job on the other side of the

country my cousin and her husband are in couples counselling her best friend came back for the holidays to visit and invited the cousin and the husband out for a night which, yeah but apparently

there's a little note here everyone the couple's counsellor this person and everyone else in the family advised against them all hanging out

I mean maybe it's going to say out out like a night out tiger tiger yeah as a three this is in America

by the way it's not all while one yeah oh it's in America okay I think I know what's coming continue they all went

and the boyfriend was added And the boyfriend of the friend, the friend was added. So there's all four of them out there. Double date. Yeah. Hello. Come on forward.

Come on four. Yeah. I was like, it's going to be a threesome. But now I'm thinking. Okay. Sorry. I'm sorry. It sounds like Andrew's stopped working.

I was just trying to work out. It gets very confusing. So they all went, all four of them. Over the course of the evening, the boyfriend of the, the, the, the best friend, pulled the cousin aside and confessed that his girlfriend has strong feelings for the cousin's husband. So the two spurned lovers, they've gone off to the side and the boyfriend has said to the cousin, look, my girlfriend loves your husband.

Q huge confrontation. To make matters worse, her parents-in-law were husband-in-law. This is like a proper, like, kind of, what's the phrase? Nightmare. A novella. Nightmare. It's in a telenovela, yeah. I'm so involved.

Her parents and all were hospitalized for COVID, and there'd be deaths in the family, all sorts of going wrong. Oh, my God. So there's a lot of kind of support in the family needed, but instead, this is what's happened. This is this dramatic situation. How can the cousin, how... I'm not equipped to answer to this.

This is, I don't... I am. I am so lost. So this is the cousin now asking, How can she not get involved to beat up this fool? I don't know who the fool is in this situation. I assume the best friend. The best friend.

Yeah, yeah. How can the cousin? Oh, right, I see it. Yeah. How can she offer support to her cousin, who's going through all this relationship drama? And accept that maybe this isn't a problem she can step in. How can she?

And they're in America. How can she navigate this situation? Exactly, yeah. I mean, that's the best best answer. How do we navigate the situation? America, first instinct, 100% would be to take your cousin to Dollywood. I think you've got access to it. It's Dolly Parton's thing.

I think if you're going through a rough time, that's where I would head. That would be my instinct. Straight in. Straight in to Dollywood. I think going away for a trip, getting away from it all does sound good. I think so a heartbreak and a trip go so hand in hand. Difficult with family needing support with COVID problems though. Buckham.

Can they get away? Buckham. You've got to go Dollywood. I think, you know, and I think with all these. scenarios it's always like the advice is don't go all in with hating on the husband in case they don't break up and then you fucked him i say in this you can because i just think no it's the but but yeah he should not have kissed his wife's best friend sure but but we're being told that it was kind of getting resolved the best friend went away and then it's the best friend

that says, oh, actually, I'm in love with the husband. But she also said that he was the one that came on to her, right? Yeah, so she said that he's come on to me. Yeah. He moves away. They come back. And then the boyfriend of the best friend said that she's still in love the job. Why is the boyfriend there still?

Can someone on Twitter draw us up like a family tree? Yeah, yeah. That would be much appreciated. To Rose, Camille and me and Andrew so we can just. Yeah. I feel like we've got it, but just so listeners can see it as well. Yeah, that would be good. Yeah, because I think that this thing.

of her saying he came on to me, I think not true. If she's now saying I'm in love with him. You know, she's not saying that, but her husband is, I think not true. First of all, I'd be like telling her sack your best friend. So I think there's a lot to deal with here, but like, let's deal with the heartbreak,

this cousin who's had their heartbroken. Yes. Deal with that. Like, forget them all. But also, it's double heartbreak. because it's your husband and it's your best friend which I'd say personally worse

I'm imagining now if it was us that's what I'm thinking like we're best friends with Beatty and who we will have on at some point out of our third birthday girl member like we're best friends and if I found out that Camille and Dan

had been kissing yeah I mean devastation but you'd still go out for a meal with all four of you yeah and then the four of us and then James said me, Camille is in love with Dan. I mean, it's just a mad, it is a mad scenario.

I think the person, if I'm genuinely asking for advice, you just need to be there for your cousin. This person has gone through such a significant loss, such a heartbreak, such a betrayal. They need to know that there's people who are there for them and they're not fucking them over. And also, crucially, that you're not trying to like solve

it. Don't, you can't, don't, you know, I think the advice is, for me to be like, not trying to be like, how can I solve this, how can I make it better? You can't. You just have to be there. be there and show unconditional love. And let this person know when they think that they can't trust anyone, that everyone,

like they're unlovable, that they are lovable. Also. And you can do that at Dollywood. Or I would say if you cut, if Dollywood isn't on the cards, I would also be like in a very kind, caring way. Be like, this is a really fucking difficult situation. If you're not, if you're not in therapy,

it would like definitely speak to a therapist about it because it's an incredibly difficult situation to navigate. For sure. say with Dollywood though is there is a risk if you go and then you hear Jolene that might be incredibly triggered yeah yeah well at the end of the day life will throw you triggers when you've when you break up with someone everything you see you might see a Boots meal deal when it reminds you of the person you loved oh they would have got this and if I'm getting triggered I'd rather it be at a theme park that's fair yeah like if I'm triggered at thought parks very different being

triggered on the tube that's just me it's just very difficult because like the person if your best friend had fucked you over you the person you'd want to speak to is your husband and if your husband had fucked you over the person you'd speak to is your best friend but they're they've both done it yeah so as the cousin i would say you don't have to make yourself like i've got to get involved i've got to go around and say this and say that but you've just got to make sure your cousin knows if they want you to do anything that you will yeah rather than imposing it and like don't be judging because that your cousin might be like i'm sorry but I still really love him.

Yeah. And we're going to work through it and blah, blah, blah. And if that is what they want to do, then you also have to support that. Love and support. That's all it is, isn't it? Just give that person and love and support. And also, I would say just pop in, you know,

put on the table, the suggestion that the cousin fucks the other husband. I was thinking about this, yeah, yeah. Just if you want to, that's a very neat payback. Yeah. She might feel better. Yeah. You know what? I hadn't thought about that, and that's a really lovely point.

Thank you. What you desisted there is three morons. not understanding a problem, vaguely understanding it, trying their best and then ruining it at the last second. I mean, it's not, guys. It calculates this show, does it not. It really does, but Catherine usually does a really good summary. And I feel like, no, no, oh my God.

Why the fuck am I getting death stares right now from both of you? I think Camilla Rose has done a fantastic job, actually. Not all morons. You said three morons. That means one of us in this room is not a moron. Also, we need to submit this. to extenders. Why are you holding a screwdriver?

Can you put a screwdriver on the ground? We need to fucking submit this to extenders because we could get three months out of this storyline. Oh, easy, easy. No, two. Because there's no death. There's no sort of like baby being born. Yeah, there's death in the family.

I told you that detail. Wait, if anyone who didn't see it on YouTube, Andrew just waved his phone with the animal. They're saying death in the family. Great news guys. They're like death in the family. Oh my God. Thank you so much for coming on trusty hogs.

If anyone's listened to the whole episode, feel free to let us know. I will genuinely be impressed because this went through a lot of different topics very quickly. This has been mad. I'd say. I've had a lovely time. I just think, I'm thinking about the listener.

They will probably be needing to listen to it on like half speed. Well, a couple of people listen to this when they go to sleep. Oh, wow. And I'm just like, maybe just, I'm sorry if you have fallen asleep to this. Oh, but I've listened to some episodes of this. To fall asleep too? No, and I would say you've got a wild misconception

of how sedate it normally is. I think Catherine makes it calm and then I sort of bring it up, but then I feel like both of you are both like, you know. Why would you punch someone in the tears? I was just reenacting the scene from Spice World where the alien does that to January.

Oh, very good, very good. Well, let's hold hands. Rose, please, can you plug your socials? Please follow, well, first of all, please follow Camille and me's eyes, sketched group. Okay, I'll do that again. Please follow Camille and I at B-Day Girls Comedy, which is our main Twitter account where we tweet about our podcast, Birthday Girls' House Party. Which is amazing.

Yeah, you'll love it. I fucking love it. Yeah, we just overshare so much. I think if you like this podcast, You would like that. Oh, 100%. It's the better version of Trustee Hoggs. 100%.

And you can find me at Rose Jono on Twitter and Instagram, and that's R-O-S-E, J-O-H-N-N-O. As always, they'll both be tagged in this. Yes. I'm at Camille U-Chance, C-A-M-I-L-E. One more time, my love, one more time, my love. Come on now, come on. C-A-M-I-L-E, UC-A-N. Thank you very much for listening.

Seattle. What does he say at the end of it, Frasier? Oh, um, um, oh, this is... Oh, we can't end it like it. You just, uh, um, uh, you've been listening to Dr. Frazier. Thank you so much for listening. Bye! Bye! He has a sign off, I swear.

He does. We so appreciate the support. Please help us keep the podcast going. Thank you so much to our exec producers, Guy Goodman, Simon Moors, Gina Batista, and Mary Fox. we are so grateful. And thank you also to our wonderful producers. Melissa Dunkels, Carrag Duke, Sarah and Molly, Aidine McQueen, Caitlin Liff, Joe Holmes, Zoe, Kim Doyle,

Lee Myers-Coff, is that how I say it? Yeah, that's it. Rachel R, David Walker, Tim and Don, Kira Leach, S-dubbs, L, Richard Ball, Sadie Cattimore, Neil Redmond, Claire Owen Jones, Jess and Nick, Victoria Hutchison, Emma Walton, Anthony Conway, Karen and David Bull Harold Van Dyke were so grateful Watching that list grow It's so nice

Makes me feel like It's Valentine's Day every day Oh behave yourself In that she is almost coming But not quite Oh my God It's all happening so fast Please join us

We'll know.